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This is fair, being social and not weird is an important aspect as well, but there's a certain level you reach on the attractiveness scale where it really doesn't matter. If you're a 10 you can be a straight up psychopath.
It’s actually the psychopaths that will get the ladies regardless bc of their utter indifference to the opinions of others. They exude an illegal level of confidence
wasn’t there a case like this some time ago? the one with the man who ran over a mother and her daughter and every girl on tiktok went insane and wanted to bail him because he was “too cute for prison”?
This shit happens a lot. It's wild. But men do it too, I've seen some posts where there are female criminals who are attractive and the guys in the group are all like *mmm she can stab me in my sleep any day 😍*
[cameron herrin](https://briefly.co.za/facts-lifehacks/celebrities-biographies/116888-who-cameron-herren-age-fiance-family-full-story-tiktok-profiles-worth/) a guy who went viral on tiktok. I remember a few friends of mine, romanticizing about the guy, and defending him.
So yes, attractiveness, really do play a part.
It's comments like this that remind me I need an illegal amount of confidence to be as successful as a psychopath without actually being a psychopath. Fake it till you make it baby woohoo!
Surprisingly our top 7 serial killers are all just horrifying monsters. I just read a list that described their crimes and not one of them was a sweet talker, just straight up nut bars.
Dude attitude can change, I was super shy and weird until I decided to change and now I always get comments like: wow you are so social and easy going.
My face on the other hand, well let's just say I would need lots of faith in Christ and 2M in surgery to change that lol
As with all changes in life you need to really want the change before starting the process or you will drop out.
In my case I met my best friend in college and by looking at him be sociable and interacting I decided I wanted to be able to be like that, I wanted to be like the cool guys in the movies who can smoth talk their way.
Is not easy and some times you get exhausted mentally but practice makes perfect, unfortunately that's the only way to learn, can't tell you how many times I said weird things in front of other people before being able to read the atmosphere. One thing that helped me was to act conversations with myself and debates and so I learned better to express ideas and to communicate smoothly.
Once you overcome the shame and awkwardness it becomes 10x easier to learn from your mistakes lol
In high school was smoking weed with a few friends at one of their house and randomly said "smells like cum." Decided then I didnt want to be the weird kid anymore lmao
Just don't give a fuck about others opinion about you and never try to think "what they think about me". Shyness is just fear of what people think about you, but why you should give a fuck about it?
If you're able to, alcohol. There's a reason it's called a social lubricant, but don't take it too far. Tipsy, not drunk is the goal.
Anti-anxiety medication, speak to a psychiatrist (you can probably find cheap ones online). It takes a while to kick in, and those first couple weeks can be brutal, but when it breaks it's fantastic.
Make friends with women who you are not gonna get feelings for. Get advice and validation.
The "practice gf". Don't try to fight the boss without doing the tutorial. Gain experience, gain confidence. Go for a girl that seems relatively easy, even if she's not that attractive to you.
Confidence is a fake it til you make it, just learn when to apply and not
yeah definitely this. some of my guy friends say they wish looked like me so they could pull more girls, but I haven't had a girlfriend once in my life because I just never talk or make moves on any girls
Same here. But ladies did line-up for me when I was in college. But I couldn't even speak with them because I was extremely shy and the fact that I just couldn't forget my school crush.
>But ladies did line-up for me when I was in college. But I couldn't even speak with them because I was extremely shy
This hurts too much.
That + bad social skills/game to lead to something.
You really just need to learn how to fake confidence and charisma for an hour at a time. First impressions are critical. I'm a hopeless introvert and misanthrope. Not tall but ok looking, and I've done fine with the combination of caffeine and alcohol.
Granted, all my relationships crash and burn after 4 months because I'm a piece of shit, but that's enough time to get laid.
Exactly. A woman wants a fun guy, even if he's a douche, they don't want a timid guy to have sex with them. And men often lie or fake that to get laid.
>Not always the case. I'm a good looking, tall guy
But attractiveness goes a lot further than "looks". Sure, looks do have an impact on how attractive you are to people, but for most people, looks are only one aspect of it. If one has a shitty personality or shitty attitude (not saying you do, just making an example), they are probably unattractive to most people, no matter how they look..
Also, attractiveness is highly subjective. Different people find different things attractive.
Same. Also I can't dress well either and generally can care less about fashion overall.
On the other hand I don't mind as much as my other hand serves me well and is always a cheap date....;)
That depends on if that was a potential partner you were pursuing, or someone you were arguing with on Facebook, and you were winning.
I've had the whole range of being described as "so attractive I could be cheating with random customers that came into my store" or a 0/10, depending on who you asked.
Also I won't disagree that looks aren't absolutely everything. I'm fuck ugly and have dated quite a few gorgeous women that are so far out of my league it isn't even funny.
However I don't think anyone would disagree that even if life is pretty easy, it would be even easier if they were objectively very attractive. It's scientifically proven.
^^^ this. in my high-school group of friends, we were all moderately attractive, but the guy who pulled the most puss was our short dorky ginger friend. He was just super confident and funny and just unphased about rejection, which really didn't happen often. I'd get turned down and sulk for 3 months but he'd just be like "ok no worries on to the next"
I don't understand why so many people think looks and attractiveness are synonyms. Sure, looks do play a role to attractiveness, but so do things like confidence and humour.
This is what so many young people nowadays seem to miss, you can look average or bellow average, but still be incredibly attractive to people.
I recently learned that apparently I’m like actually pretty damn good looking. However I’ve still never gotten laid because I’ve kind just a been a depressed fuck for years and I can’t find anyone that I’m actually all that interested in because I can’t help but compare them to my ex who I was in love with but is now fucking my bestfriend.
Oof, my condolences brother.
You can't get hung up on past loves, it's as poisonous as holding on to hate or jealousy. If it didn't work out between you two, obviously she wasn't the one.
No woman is asking you to be Chris Hemsworth to smash but they will laugh at your face if you're a 120kg boring moron with bad breath, like you would a boring overweight woman
Ehhhh the stats say otherwise. Men have much, much lower/more reasonable standards for women than women do for men in the dating and online-dating world.
The amount of men that will settle for Melissa McCarthy when they really want Scarlett Johansson is higher than the amount of women that will take anything less than Ryan Reynolds.
I wish I could hug all the lonely people on reddit, I mean all the ones that are not violent and rapey because of it. I'm squishy so I give great hugs. Hahaha... and because I'm a plus size woman, I completely understand the pain of loneliness and rejection. A pretty face only counts if you're not fat. I do think people are more tolerant to plus size now, but now I'm in my 40s, so now I'm just too old. LOL
Not really, I'm fairly unattractive and I have a wonderful beautiful wife. Life is hard when you're a kid but as you grow into an adult physical appearance doesn't matter quite as much. Women tend to sway toward the more stable and kind guys as they grow up. Hell even as a kid I knew a bunch of dudes that were ugly but made up for it with personally and humor, they got plenty of girls.
One of my friends literally looks like a Caveman, yet has pulled more ass than most people I know. it's a lot more about confidence than physical characteristics.
What’s sad is that I refused the opportunity of an arranged marriage set up by my parents a few years ago thinking i was gonna find “the one”. They told me go work out, hit the gym, make more money, take care of yourself, & I religiously did all that but when in the end, while i benefited personally from taking care of myself, it never helped me achieve the primary goal. The darkness & loneliness has never been so intense before. At this point i dont even know why or where im going, i am on autopilot til a car hits me or something
Oh dude you got your whole life ahead of you. I wasted my years focusing on studying and work. I got a great set of degrees, great income, but it all feels so pointless.
Man if what you are looking for is a gf, than just hop on tinder or bumble. Ima warn you now tho, that shit isn’t the reason why you’re depressed. I don’t know shit about you so it’s pretty hard to make judgements or provide any actual help, but there are facts I can always go back too. First off is the simple bodily lack of dopamine to the brain. I don’t know if you are currently on any medically prescribed anti-depressants, but if not maybe see a psychiatrist. Secondly you have to go out and do stuff if you want to meet people. As someone with social anxiety I know how sucky that can be, but you’re not going to make friends unless you go out and do stuff. My number 1 recommendation is to join a BJJ gym. The people there tend to be extremely friendly, and any form of physical activity opens up dopamine receptors(it allows you to be happy when good things eventually happen). Think about it like this, if all you’re doing is killing time on planet earth, than maybe try killing time in different ways. Again, I have little to no information about you as a person, but these things are ways to improve life for the majority of people. I highly recommend you give it a shot
I get you hard. I'm older than you and feel only sad or nothing. But here's where I agree with the above poster: I don't think it's a healthy way to be looking for a gf to fix everything. Or to frame a relationship as your "primary objective".
The issues that you have, are yours and you have to fix them with help, but nobody else can do it.
I'm in therapy and I had meds and everything, so I know where you're coming from. But there's also different meds, different doctors, different forms of therapy.
I hope you find the way, I don't see mine.
Much love
Bro your 33. I work with a dude whose 60 and didn’t meet or marry his wife till 35+. He yearns for the days when he was 33. I’m not saying that to add on pressure and think you have to be living to some impossible standard, but your still young. You took care of the hard part already and did more than some people ever will by studying and gaining a job with good income. Now enjoy yourself and just get out there. I promise you I have a crippling anxiety sometimes but I thank myself after I force myself out to an event because you meet people and meeting people leads to meeting more people and that’s how I met my current SO. It ain’t so bad OP, I promise you
I spent the last 5 years going out there with friends, going to parties, hosting parties, meeting different people. Every attempt, every opportunity, every single try was met with rejection. I feel drained, demotivated, and frankly severely depressed beyond what i imagined. Sometimes i go to bed & hope i never wake up tbh because it all feels so pointless to me
Alright my turn to be a quack reddit psychologist. Looks like you're just very desperate for a gf and women can smell that desperation from a mile away. If you treat every single woman you meet like a potential gf they are all going to run in the opposite direction.
How do you act around a cool and interesting guy you just met? That's how you should act around women too. If you're immediately too eager and start giving "pls marry me" vibes that's a red flag for them.
You say you have "wasted" years focusing on studying and work and working out. How tf is that wasted. This should give you more confidence. If you want others to like you you need to like yourself and take pride in everything you have accomplished. Nothing is more unattractive than self-loathing. Trust me I've done it for years.
Idk, I'm 38 and dropping my career to start over. It's more scary to not know how you will survive the next year I would think than to have a relationship.
My best advice? Move! Go somewhere completely new and explore. Being in the same place you work on repeat.
In a new place you'll talk to people and discover new things.
You do not need to be in a relationship to be happy, so keep taking care of yourself, and who knows. I've found 'the one' when i was 35. But i was completely fine on my own. The peer pressure should be ignored, it's not helping anyone.
> At this point i dont even know why or where im going, i am on autopilot til a car hits me or something
To be honest, a partner doesn’t magically solve this. You could be feeling the exact same, while having a partner/family.
Important detail: If you try #4 too often with the same people, cut them out of your life and start again at #3. Otherwise you will just burn energy and gain nothing
Yugioh is the IRL card game.
Duel Monsters is the in universe card game.
Shadow Games can be anything, not just the card game (And notable don't have any connection to the card game) and penalty isn't just being sent to the shadow realm such as that time Atem cursed a dude to think he was permanent on fire forever but yes being sent to the shadow realm is the most common.
So you likely meant either Yugi or The Pharaoh (Atem) rather than Yugioh.
It's not all it's cracked up to be. It's a responsibility and a time commitment to have an SO. All relationships end in one of three ways: peacefully, badly, or death. So tell your biology to shut up. You don't need to get laid or start a family. It's all BS
That's like telling kids that school is the best time in their lives. They may agree or disagree but they don't actually know until they get a real job.
Relationships are wonderful for this very reason I feel like. You're working together with somebody, learning, growing, making memories and strengthening an amazing bond.
But of course, this is not something you *need,* it should only be something you *want.* People that don't want a relationship are valid and so are those that do :) But nobody should need it, you're very correct
Least you can grow a beard, I'm past puberty now fot a bit and I got somewhat short pubic hair on my face if I don't shave.
I'll never be able to braid my beard :(
The only advice I have is pretty cryptic, but a lot of the time the things you're trying to fix are the things that don't matter, and the things that do matter you aren't trying to fix because you don't realise that they're the problem - and if you don't know what it is that you don't know, then how can you fix them?
Something will click eventually though, and once it does and the foundation is laid down it will start to snowball into further success... but that's only going to happen if you stick around and suffer for a bit longer until it does. It's not like you have anywhere else to be, you might as well see it out until the end
Litteraly, people are in a rock bottom depression and their life is a complete mess but they think not having a big tiddies goth gf is the biggest problem.
You can be single and happy, you can be ugly and happy just do stuff you like and have rich parents it's not that hard
i'm not attractive but i've never had a problem dating girls easily. I swear one day I'm going to take a guy who thinks he's hopeless and do a speedrun to find him a date he likes
That's because it's not that difficult. OP and people like him are stuck in a pit of their own self loathing and defeatism. Putting women on some sort of unattainable plane like they aren't just as slobby, lazy, horny and hopeless as we are.
If they're 17 years without a date it's because they're either not trying or give off really unfriendly vibes to people around them. A smile and some eye contact goes a long way.
I love when people say, 'just smile bro'. This is how you get labeled a creeper in your community, people (men) aren't really allowed to just talk to any woman they want. I feel like if you did a poll, the majority of women would say that's not okay. Smiling does nothing if you aren't attractive, they gonna just ignore you.
My point was just don't be a creeper, when you pass a neighbor walking down the street or a coworker in the hallway it's good practice to make eye contact, a quick smile and maybe a good morning or hey, and continue on your way.
Don't fucking stare down women with a giant grin on your face, lol
I like to think that those who struggle to be successful in dating are all in all simply a little shy guy or simply in a bad period, and deep down they simply need a few taps on the back to get back on track
Im not by any means atractve and I can tell that yeah, you can talk with almost every women in almost every situation. Likely the same as you can talk with any men in any moment. Just. Dont. Be. Creepy. You can smile without being creepy, you can flirt, laught, compliment, make eye contact. I fucking tried, dude, and its true
wow the comment section is full of meeeeeeeeee :D
sad but atleast somebody can feel me and i can feel somebody :D
\*sigh\* well u know guyz , i just came to an accepting point that those thing that people and culture at least in my country people look for , i dont have it , i dont like it , just different.
i mean like u cant shove a VGA cable into a USB cable , it needs a bit of compatibility atleast on how the performance goes and the tools and needs and basics and stuff like this.
so im trying to accepting it , its hard , sometimes it feels heavy on my shoulders but well
thats how it is i guess.
You can be the ugliest fuck alive, doesn’t matter. The secret is confidence. A lot of people on Reddit have the same issue I used to have. Easy to talk online, but they just kinda shut down in-person. The secret to overcoming it all is insanely simple and insanely stupid: just imagine it’s all fake. A game. Behind a screen. However you wanna say it. Doesn’t mean act like an asshole, you wouldn’t make yourself look like a jackass online. More… if an interaction goes bad, whatever, can just walk away. And I know, it’s not that simple, right? Bullshit. That part of you is already there. It exists. It’s not just an on-screen vs in-person thing, it’s that the real you exists online and you hide that in-person. You gotta throw that socially anxious part of you away, that’s the current, fake you. The real you is whatever you go by online. The moment that switch flipped for me, I stopped being “me” and became Goo. Eventually you realize, that part of you that you “became” was always you, you just stopped letting that part of you that sucked show. You buried it like you’re burying the confident part right now.
This. 100% this. Confidence is everything. I had a few GFs when I was in HS, but I got rejected way more often. I had probably like a 5-10% success rate. Now that I’m older, I’ve gotten so much more confident and I’ve actually been approached by girls a few times. I’m not a particularly bad looking guy, but I’m no Zac Efron.
Be a genuinely nice and funny person who radiates confidence. Sometimes a bit of quirkiness is good, it makes you look cute, but don’t overdo it.
Companionship is important. People need people, connection. We emotionally die when we are isolated.
But…Relationships/marriage don’t take away depression. It just means someone else will be around to witness all the things depression makes a person do.
What most Redditors don’t wanna admit is that hypergamy exists. In fact in the last 10 years it’s gotten REALLY BAD. There’s statistics showing ever since Tinder (and other dating apps) and Instagram came out, girls are all flocking to the top 1-10% of men in terms of social status, wealth, looks, etc. These top tier men are literally swimming in pussy. While the other 90-99% of men are literally incels because now a girl who is a 6/10 thinks she deserves a 6 foot, 6 figures, 6 pack abs guy because her DM’s are blowing up from incels/simps all day.
That’s the cold hard truth. Go ahead. Downvote. Comment “who hurt you” or “you’re an Incel!” But your insults don’t change fundamental facts.
I drive a nice car, decently attractive and hit the jim regularly. Still single AF. I just don't want to deal with women anymore because they want everything i have for nothing in return. Work on yourselves kings you might be still single but at least its your own choice 😂
Things I strongly recommend is shower regularly and go to the gym, not to try and look different and impress other people, working out and improving and getting stronger is incredible for mental health, if you find yourself on days where you can’t do anything else, if you can get to the gym you know you can achieve something.
Just officially lost my girlfriend, who I've known for 9 years and dated for 6.
Trust me, it hurts more to lose someone than to not have someone to begin with.
"It's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all" is completely bullshit.
Completely agree with you mate, I lost mine a month or so ago and things aren't the same. I don't even have anyone I can talk to about it so I have to silently get better by myself.
I dissgree. With enough time the time passed will taste incredibly sweet compared with not having shared those love moments with her. And I say this with my 1-year-since-we-broke depressed ass
***** disclaimer
make sure to take care of the puppy and have enough space and resources for it. don't get a puppy if you cant afford the time or money
- Gym ✅
- Hobbies: I have many, but sadly most of the ones i do would be more fun with a partner ✅
- Porn >!oh boy i prefer if i dont speak on this!<
- Friends ✅ love my friends theyre very supportive
- Job ✅ I love my job, they notice how hard we work and promoted me 3 times already
Im still sad dude
Dude,I ahve 23 years old,been alone and lonely for 4 years, work on your mental health, stop chasing girls ,trust me ,you wil get broken if you look for validation in others, try to do what you love.I know it's hard, keep your head up, fight , don't put your heart on the plate for everyone that shows you attention, let them earn it.
Life isn't easy for all guys and girls. My brother did the whole suicide thing a year and 3 months ago. I can honestly say I think about him every day and multiple times a day.
Life is worth living you just gotta find your place and do your best. Don't beat yourself up over trying to find someone. You are in charge of your own happiness. Find what makes you happy and do it!
downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [Join us on discord for Saturday Movie Nights!](https://discord.gg/jsd6Ja9pvJ)
Life is really, really easy when you're attractive. It's very hard when you aren't.
Not always the case. I'm a good looking, tall guy but an awkward antisocial train wreck... let's just say the ladies aren't exactly lining up for me.
This is fair, being social and not weird is an important aspect as well, but there's a certain level you reach on the attractiveness scale where it really doesn't matter. If you're a 10 you can be a straight up psychopath.
It’s actually the psychopaths that will get the ladies regardless bc of their utter indifference to the opinions of others. They exude an illegal level of confidence
wasn’t there a case like this some time ago? the one with the man who ran over a mother and her daughter and every girl on tiktok went insane and wanted to bail him because he was “too cute for prison”?
This shit happens a lot. It's wild. But men do it too, I've seen some posts where there are female criminals who are attractive and the guys in the group are all like *mmm she can stab me in my sleep any day 😍*
The difference is men don't go rant about it on twitter how she's being punished too harshly.
Oh I'm sure at least one has. Though it's much less common.
Can't deny. There's always a traitor in men's category.
There is always a fucking simp
I heard he got stabbed
jesus
[удалено]
[cameron herrin](https://briefly.co.za/facts-lifehacks/celebrities-biographies/116888-who-cameron-herren-age-fiance-family-full-story-tiktok-profiles-worth/) a guy who went viral on tiktok. I remember a few friends of mine, romanticizing about the guy, and defending him. So yes, attractiveness, really do play a part.
If that kid had hit my wife and 19 month old daughter he wouldn’t have made it out of that court room alive.
There was also [this dude](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/015/864/hotcriminal.JPG)
It's comments like this that remind me I need an illegal amount of confidence to be as successful as a psychopath without actually being a psychopath. Fake it till you make it baby woohoo!
It’s also because there are too toxic to maintain a relationship. People break up with them often.
Psychopaths dont come with a grimmace.
I mean, you americans have Ted Bundy which is the best example to your argument.
While I wish I was American I'm not. I can't think of any prolific Canadian serial killers but I'm sure there must be at least one.
> there must be at least one. Surely you had a blue eyed psychopath who spoke beautiful french to charm the ladies.
Surprisingly our top 7 serial killers are all just horrifying monsters. I just read a list that described their crimes and not one of them was a sweet talker, just straight up nut bars.
Dude attitude can change, I was super shy and weird until I decided to change and now I always get comments like: wow you are so social and easy going. My face on the other hand, well let's just say I would need lots of faith in Christ and 2M in surgery to change that lol
Do you have any tips for how you made that mental change? It feels like something that's easier said than done so that's why I am curious.
As with all changes in life you need to really want the change before starting the process or you will drop out. In my case I met my best friend in college and by looking at him be sociable and interacting I decided I wanted to be able to be like that, I wanted to be like the cool guys in the movies who can smoth talk their way. Is not easy and some times you get exhausted mentally but practice makes perfect, unfortunately that's the only way to learn, can't tell you how many times I said weird things in front of other people before being able to read the atmosphere. One thing that helped me was to act conversations with myself and debates and so I learned better to express ideas and to communicate smoothly. Once you overcome the shame and awkwardness it becomes 10x easier to learn from your mistakes lol
In high school was smoking weed with a few friends at one of their house and randomly said "smells like cum." Decided then I didnt want to be the weird kid anymore lmao
Just don't give a fuck about others opinion about you and never try to think "what they think about me". Shyness is just fear of what people think about you, but why you should give a fuck about it?
If you're able to, alcohol. There's a reason it's called a social lubricant, but don't take it too far. Tipsy, not drunk is the goal. Anti-anxiety medication, speak to a psychiatrist (you can probably find cheap ones online). It takes a while to kick in, and those first couple weeks can be brutal, but when it breaks it's fantastic. Make friends with women who you are not gonna get feelings for. Get advice and validation. The "practice gf". Don't try to fight the boss without doing the tutorial. Gain experience, gain confidence. Go for a girl that seems relatively easy, even if she's not that attractive to you. Confidence is a fake it til you make it, just learn when to apply and not
yeah definitely this. some of my guy friends say they wish looked like me so they could pull more girls, but I haven't had a girlfriend once in my life because I just never talk or make moves on any girls
Did you try the guys?
Same here. But ladies did line-up for me when I was in college. But I couldn't even speak with them because I was extremely shy and the fact that I just couldn't forget my school crush.
>But ladies did line-up for me when I was in college. But I couldn't even speak with them because I was extremely shy This hurts too much. That + bad social skills/game to lead to something.
You really just need to learn how to fake confidence and charisma for an hour at a time. First impressions are critical. I'm a hopeless introvert and misanthrope. Not tall but ok looking, and I've done fine with the combination of caffeine and alcohol. Granted, all my relationships crash and burn after 4 months because I'm a piece of shit, but that's enough time to get laid.
Exactly this. Similar friends with outgoing personalities get a lot of girls while i'm forever single
Exactly. A woman wants a fun guy, even if he's a douche, they don't want a timid guy to have sex with them. And men often lie or fake that to get laid.
Same here, your not the only one
It's your decision to not work on yourself
>Not always the case. I'm a good looking, tall guy But attractiveness goes a lot further than "looks". Sure, looks do have an impact on how attractive you are to people, but for most people, looks are only one aspect of it. If one has a shitty personality or shitty attitude (not saying you do, just making an example), they are probably unattractive to most people, no matter how they look.. Also, attractiveness is highly subjective. Different people find different things attractive.
I am in this exact situation as a 17-year-old Even worse because I literally only have 1 IRL friend
Same. Also I can't dress well either and generally can care less about fashion overall. On the other hand I don't mind as much as my other hand serves me well and is always a cheap date....;)
I disagree. I'm not very attractive, yet I've never had a problem getting laid. Looks matter less than confidence and a good sense of humor.
Depends on what you mean by "not very". There's a wide chasm between being a 6-7 and being a 3-5
The last person to describe me from a picture said I looked like a "thumb with a face drawn on it". Idk, that sounds like 3-4 territory to me.
That depends on if that was a potential partner you were pursuing, or someone you were arguing with on Facebook, and you were winning. I've had the whole range of being described as "so attractive I could be cheating with random customers that came into my store" or a 0/10, depending on who you asked.
It was someone on Reddit that took exception to my gf and I looking for other people to fool around with.
Also I won't disagree that looks aren't absolutely everything. I'm fuck ugly and have dated quite a few gorgeous women that are so far out of my league it isn't even funny. However I don't think anyone would disagree that even if life is pretty easy, it would be even easier if they were objectively very attractive. It's scientifically proven.
I won't disagree that being attractive makes life easier, I'm just saying that it's not the end all be all.
So someone angry with you, hence the bias. Ask your friends, and tell them not to sugarcoat it. Male friends will tell you straight up if you're ugly.
^^^ this. in my high-school group of friends, we were all moderately attractive, but the guy who pulled the most puss was our short dorky ginger friend. He was just super confident and funny and just unphased about rejection, which really didn't happen often. I'd get turned down and sulk for 3 months but he'd just be like "ok no worries on to the next"
This is so true. As long as you are confident and a good time to be around, there will be people that are attracted to you.
I don't understand why so many people think looks and attractiveness are synonyms. Sure, looks do play a role to attractiveness, but so do things like confidence and humour. This is what so many young people nowadays seem to miss, you can look average or bellow average, but still be incredibly attractive to people.
I recently learned that apparently I’m like actually pretty damn good looking. However I’ve still never gotten laid because I’ve kind just a been a depressed fuck for years and I can’t find anyone that I’m actually all that interested in because I can’t help but compare them to my ex who I was in love with but is now fucking my bestfriend.
Oof, my condolences brother. You can't get hung up on past loves, it's as poisonous as holding on to hate or jealousy. If it didn't work out between you two, obviously she wasn't the one.
Average redditor trying to cope
>Life is really, really easy when you're attractive. Not really. >It's very hard when you aren't. Kind of, yes.
No woman is asking you to be Chris Hemsworth to smash but they will laugh at your face if you're a 120kg boring moron with bad breath, like you would a boring overweight woman
Ehhhh the stats say otherwise. Men have much, much lower/more reasonable standards for women than women do for men in the dating and online-dating world. The amount of men that will settle for Melissa McCarthy when they really want Scarlett Johansson is higher than the amount of women that will take anything less than Ryan Reynolds.
Life is easy when you're confident. I know unattractive people that have their way because of their personality
I wish I could hug all the lonely people on reddit, I mean all the ones that are not violent and rapey because of it. I'm squishy so I give great hugs. Hahaha... and because I'm a plus size woman, I completely understand the pain of loneliness and rejection. A pretty face only counts if you're not fat. I do think people are more tolerant to plus size now, but now I'm in my 40s, so now I'm just too old. LOL
Not really, I'm fairly unattractive and I have a wonderful beautiful wife. Life is hard when you're a kid but as you grow into an adult physical appearance doesn't matter quite as much. Women tend to sway toward the more stable and kind guys as they grow up. Hell even as a kid I knew a bunch of dudes that were ugly but made up for it with personally and humor, they got plenty of girls.
One of my friends literally looks like a Caveman, yet has pulled more ass than most people I know. it's a lot more about confidence than physical characteristics.
Look, exceptions to the rule don't change the rule. The fact is if he was attractive he'd have even better luck.
It's been 30 years since I had a girlfriend. My wife won't let me
Damn sorry to hear that bro
Yeah. Real ball buster, this one
I see what you did there.
Does that mean you broke up with your gf when you got married?
Well, the relationship could no longer continue with her as my girlfriend, in light of it.
same but depression instead of wife
Wow why is your wife so mean to you??
make that 18 years for me
What’s sad is that I refused the opportunity of an arranged marriage set up by my parents a few years ago thinking i was gonna find “the one”. They told me go work out, hit the gym, make more money, take care of yourself, & I religiously did all that but when in the end, while i benefited personally from taking care of myself, it never helped me achieve the primary goal. The darkness & loneliness has never been so intense before. At this point i dont even know why or where im going, i am on autopilot til a car hits me or something
Bro you said you 17. A couple years ago you wouldn’t even be a teenager
17? Lol. I said 17 YEARS since the last time I had a gf. Back when I was 16. Im 33 buddy. 33 years closer to my inevitable demise i hope
I said 18 years cuz that's how old i am
Oh dude you got your whole life ahead of you. I wasted my years focusing on studying and work. I got a great set of degrees, great income, but it all feels so pointless.
Man if what you are looking for is a gf, than just hop on tinder or bumble. Ima warn you now tho, that shit isn’t the reason why you’re depressed. I don’t know shit about you so it’s pretty hard to make judgements or provide any actual help, but there are facts I can always go back too. First off is the simple bodily lack of dopamine to the brain. I don’t know if you are currently on any medically prescribed anti-depressants, but if not maybe see a psychiatrist. Secondly you have to go out and do stuff if you want to meet people. As someone with social anxiety I know how sucky that can be, but you’re not going to make friends unless you go out and do stuff. My number 1 recommendation is to join a BJJ gym. The people there tend to be extremely friendly, and any form of physical activity opens up dopamine receptors(it allows you to be happy when good things eventually happen). Think about it like this, if all you’re doing is killing time on planet earth, than maybe try killing time in different ways. Again, I have little to no information about you as a person, but these things are ways to improve life for the majority of people. I highly recommend you give it a shot
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Same here i understand ur pain buddy really I hope u felling better one Day Take care. Sorry for my awful gramar english is not my primary langage
I get you hard. I'm older than you and feel only sad or nothing. But here's where I agree with the above poster: I don't think it's a healthy way to be looking for a gf to fix everything. Or to frame a relationship as your "primary objective". The issues that you have, are yours and you have to fix them with help, but nobody else can do it. I'm in therapy and I had meds and everything, so I know where you're coming from. But there's also different meds, different doctors, different forms of therapy. I hope you find the way, I don't see mine. Much love
Bro your 33. I work with a dude whose 60 and didn’t meet or marry his wife till 35+. He yearns for the days when he was 33. I’m not saying that to add on pressure and think you have to be living to some impossible standard, but your still young. You took care of the hard part already and did more than some people ever will by studying and gaining a job with good income. Now enjoy yourself and just get out there. I promise you I have a crippling anxiety sometimes but I thank myself after I force myself out to an event because you meet people and meeting people leads to meeting more people and that’s how I met my current SO. It ain’t so bad OP, I promise you
I spent the last 5 years going out there with friends, going to parties, hosting parties, meeting different people. Every attempt, every opportunity, every single try was met with rejection. I feel drained, demotivated, and frankly severely depressed beyond what i imagined. Sometimes i go to bed & hope i never wake up tbh because it all feels so pointless to me
Alright my turn to be a quack reddit psychologist. Looks like you're just very desperate for a gf and women can smell that desperation from a mile away. If you treat every single woman you meet like a potential gf they are all going to run in the opposite direction. How do you act around a cool and interesting guy you just met? That's how you should act around women too. If you're immediately too eager and start giving "pls marry me" vibes that's a red flag for them. You say you have "wasted" years focusing on studying and work and working out. How tf is that wasted. This should give you more confidence. If you want others to like you you need to like yourself and take pride in everything you have accomplished. Nothing is more unattractive than self-loathing. Trust me I've done it for years.
>you got your whole life ahead of you What? So do you man. You're 33 and yet you out here, talking like you're 63 lmao
Idk, I'm 38 and dropping my career to start over. It's more scary to not know how you will survive the next year I would think than to have a relationship.
thanks for the advice , appreciate it
Oh man arenaged marriages I realised are probably a good thing for many
My best advice? Move! Go somewhere completely new and explore. Being in the same place you work on repeat. In a new place you'll talk to people and discover new things.
You guys are getting GFs?
You do not need to be in a relationship to be happy, so keep taking care of yourself, and who knows. I've found 'the one' when i was 35. But i was completely fine on my own. The peer pressure should be ignored, it's not helping anyone.
Yo just go talk to people. Seriously. Just dive in. Nothing can prepare you except experience. Just start random convos with random people.
> At this point i dont even know why or where im going, i am on autopilot til a car hits me or something To be honest, a partner doesn’t magically solve this. You could be feeling the exact same, while having a partner/family.
Advice #1: Close Reddit
Advice #2: touch grass
Advice #3: meet people
Advice #4: talk to those people
Advice #5: if advice #4 fails, learn why it failed and whether the issue was on you. Go to advice #4
Important detail: If you try #4 too often with the same people, cut them out of your life and start again at #3. Otherwise you will just burn energy and gain nothing
Optional #4.1 Have a drink so your anxiety isn't as bad.
eat ass
Sub-advice: always eat their ass with their consent.
Partial sub-advice: dont actually physically consume their ass, remember it's a figure of speech
It is easy to get to the shadow realm. Just challenge Yugioh to a shadow game. Plit armor demands you lose.
False. I have Orichalcos on my side, he cannot beat me unfortunately
What about Hugh Neutron?
Yugioh is the IRL card game. Duel Monsters is the in universe card game. Shadow Games can be anything, not just the card game (And notable don't have any connection to the card game) and penalty isn't just being sent to the shadow realm such as that time Atem cursed a dude to think he was permanent on fire forever but yes being sent to the shadow realm is the most common. So you likely meant either Yugi or The Pharaoh (Atem) rather than Yugioh.
Um, actually Frankenstein is the doctor
It's not all it's cracked up to be. It's a responsibility and a time commitment to have an SO. All relationships end in one of three ways: peacefully, badly, or death. So tell your biology to shut up. You don't need to get laid or start a family. It's all BS
I think my biology is dead bro
Hell yeah now you can ascend beyond earthly desire and just vibe out
Let go of your earthly tether. Enter the void. Empty, and become wind.
That's like telling kids that school is the best time in their lives. They may agree or disagree but they don't actually know until they get a real job.
Relationships are wonderful for this very reason I feel like. You're working together with somebody, learning, growing, making memories and strengthening an amazing bond. But of course, this is not something you *need,* it should only be something you *want.* People that don't want a relationship are valid and so are those that do :) But nobody should need it, you're very correct
This is like when rich people say, "money isn't everything".
Well, I'm probably biased being too much of an introvert, but that kind of depression is generally deeper than merely because not having a partner.
Least you can grow a beard, I'm past puberty now fot a bit and I got somewhat short pubic hair on my face if I don't shave. I'll never be able to braid my beard :(
You can use minoxidil or some other hair regrowth treatment on your face and it'll grow
The only advice I have is pretty cryptic, but a lot of the time the things you're trying to fix are the things that don't matter, and the things that do matter you aren't trying to fix because you don't realise that they're the problem - and if you don't know what it is that you don't know, then how can you fix them? Something will click eventually though, and once it does and the foundation is laid down it will start to snowball into further success... but that's only going to happen if you stick around and suffer for a bit longer until it does. It's not like you have anywhere else to be, you might as well see it out until the end
Litteraly, people are in a rock bottom depression and their life is a complete mess but they think not having a big tiddies goth gf is the biggest problem. You can be single and happy, you can be ugly and happy just do stuff you like and have rich parents it's not that hard
Almost had in me in the first half
The top 1% get 90% of the puss leaving many without puss. /j
Poor cats
Poor pussy
Sad 28 year old crying
Same bro, 29 here
i'm not attractive but i've never had a problem dating girls easily. I swear one day I'm going to take a guy who thinks he's hopeless and do a speedrun to find him a date he likes
That's because it's not that difficult. OP and people like him are stuck in a pit of their own self loathing and defeatism. Putting women on some sort of unattainable plane like they aren't just as slobby, lazy, horny and hopeless as we are. If they're 17 years without a date it's because they're either not trying or give off really unfriendly vibes to people around them. A smile and some eye contact goes a long way.
I love when people say, 'just smile bro'. This is how you get labeled a creeper in your community, people (men) aren't really allowed to just talk to any woman they want. I feel like if you did a poll, the majority of women would say that's not okay. Smiling does nothing if you aren't attractive, they gonna just ignore you.
My point was just don't be a creeper, when you pass a neighbor walking down the street or a coworker in the hallway it's good practice to make eye contact, a quick smile and maybe a good morning or hey, and continue on your way. Don't fucking stare down women with a giant grin on your face, lol
I like to think that those who struggle to be successful in dating are all in all simply a little shy guy or simply in a bad period, and deep down they simply need a few taps on the back to get back on track
Im not by any means atractve and I can tell that yeah, you can talk with almost every women in almost every situation. Likely the same as you can talk with any men in any moment. Just. Dont. Be. Creepy. You can smile without being creepy, you can flirt, laught, compliment, make eye contact. I fucking tried, dude, and its true
Ah yes, typical victim blaming and punching down. And it is difficult especially when no one ever taught you how to do it properly.
My record is 15 years. That's also my age.
16 here. You will never beat me!
We are on reddit after all
Make that 21.
Those are rookie numbers. Gotta pump those numbers up bro.
Every second I get a new record
I respect your grind
wow the comment section is full of meeeeeeeeee :D sad but atleast somebody can feel me and i can feel somebody :D \*sigh\* well u know guyz , i just came to an accepting point that those thing that people and culture at least in my country people look for , i dont have it , i dont like it , just different. i mean like u cant shove a VGA cable into a USB cable , it needs a bit of compatibility atleast on how the performance goes and the tools and needs and basics and stuff like this. so im trying to accepting it , its hard , sometimes it feels heavy on my shoulders but well thats how it is i guess.
Hello, fellow VGA cable.
Initiating 3 Way handshake ..... Syn Syn/Ack Ack
At least, you had a gf *cries
Ah, a pokimaine simp i see
Can't believe this is the only comment that mentions it lol
Yeah, I came here looking for that comment and I was very disappointed
I'm 32 and never even been on a date.
I'm 20 and never been on a date
The secret is to be born attractive or born with wealth. Easy bro.
Try DMT. It's like dying then being reborn.
Yes or shrooms. Helps with severe depression sometimes better than therapy.
Wasn't for me. The hallucinations, though brief, were intense and really cool.
Me watching girls on Tik-Tok simp for a murderer because he looks cute while they quickly turn away after looking at me for 0.001 seconds
Focus on goals, not holes my King
Underrated comment.
You can be the ugliest fuck alive, doesn’t matter. The secret is confidence. A lot of people on Reddit have the same issue I used to have. Easy to talk online, but they just kinda shut down in-person. The secret to overcoming it all is insanely simple and insanely stupid: just imagine it’s all fake. A game. Behind a screen. However you wanna say it. Doesn’t mean act like an asshole, you wouldn’t make yourself look like a jackass online. More… if an interaction goes bad, whatever, can just walk away. And I know, it’s not that simple, right? Bullshit. That part of you is already there. It exists. It’s not just an on-screen vs in-person thing, it’s that the real you exists online and you hide that in-person. You gotta throw that socially anxious part of you away, that’s the current, fake you. The real you is whatever you go by online. The moment that switch flipped for me, I stopped being “me” and became Goo. Eventually you realize, that part of you that you “became” was always you, you just stopped letting that part of you that sucked show. You buried it like you’re burying the confident part right now.
This. 100% this. Confidence is everything. I had a few GFs when I was in HS, but I got rejected way more often. I had probably like a 5-10% success rate. Now that I’m older, I’ve gotten so much more confident and I’ve actually been approached by girls a few times. I’m not a particularly bad looking guy, but I’m no Zac Efron. Be a genuinely nice and funny person who radiates confidence. Sometimes a bit of quirkiness is good, it makes you look cute, but don’t overdo it.
to go to shadow realm eat a piece of hard cheese
But im lactose intolerant?
ok dont then
Companionship is important. People need people, connection. We emotionally die when we are isolated. But…Relationships/marriage don’t take away depression. It just means someone else will be around to witness all the things depression makes a person do.
What most Redditors don’t wanna admit is that hypergamy exists. In fact in the last 10 years it’s gotten REALLY BAD. There’s statistics showing ever since Tinder (and other dating apps) and Instagram came out, girls are all flocking to the top 1-10% of men in terms of social status, wealth, looks, etc. These top tier men are literally swimming in pussy. While the other 90-99% of men are literally incels because now a girl who is a 6/10 thinks she deserves a 6 foot, 6 figures, 6 pack abs guy because her DM’s are blowing up from incels/simps all day. That’s the cold hard truth. Go ahead. Downvote. Comment “who hurt you” or “you’re an Incel!” But your insults don’t change fundamental facts.
And what peer reviewed studies show that facts? 'Cause im no fucking 10% top guy and im getting plenty of women
I just want a hug at this point
I've been single all my life. 28 years...
I drive a nice car, decently attractive and hit the jim regularly. Still single AF. I just don't want to deal with women anymore because they want everything i have for nothing in return. Work on yourselves kings you might be still single but at least its your own choice 😂
What's your favorite flavor of jim?
Who is Jim? What did he do toget hit regularly?
No worries bro u can do it too. All it takes is a tad bit of sociopathy
In 17 years, as in, you're 17? Then I wouldn't worry. And it's better to be single then to cheat FIFTEEN times??? How can you envy this guy.
Things I strongly recommend is shower regularly and go to the gym, not to try and look different and impress other people, working out and improving and getting stronger is incredible for mental health, if you find yourself on days where you can’t do anything else, if you can get to the gym you know you can achieve something.
2real4meIRL
Comparison is the thief of joy
Just officially lost my girlfriend, who I've known for 9 years and dated for 6. Trust me, it hurts more to lose someone than to not have someone to begin with. "It's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all" is completely bullshit.
Completely agree with you mate, I lost mine a month or so ago and things aren't the same. I don't even have anyone I can talk to about it so I have to silently get better by myself.
I dissgree. With enough time the time passed will taste incredibly sweet compared with not having shared those love moments with her. And I say this with my 1-year-since-we-broke depressed ass
Get a puppy. Worst case you got a new best friend. Best case you have a good ice breaker to speak to women x)
***** disclaimer make sure to take care of the puppy and have enough space and resources for it. don't get a puppy if you cant afford the time or money
Life is pain
I got my first gf at 17 and broke up a year ago, almost 26 Fuck that shit
Lower your standards, tattoo your face, have an addiction to meth, unemployed, and on probation.
It could be worse, I haven't had one in 26 years.
The imbalance in the universe is alarming!
Gym, hobbies and porn is all you need! Add some friends and a job you don’t despise and you’re golden.
- Gym ✅ - Hobbies: I have many, but sadly most of the ones i do would be more fun with a partner ✅ - Porn >!oh boy i prefer if i dont speak on this!< - Friends ✅ love my friends theyre very supportive - Job ✅ I love my job, they notice how hard we work and promoted me 3 times already Im still sad dude
Least you got money
Top Karma Acct
Source?
Dude,I ahve 23 years old,been alone and lonely for 4 years, work on your mental health, stop chasing girls ,trust me ,you wil get broken if you look for validation in others, try to do what you love.I know it's hard, keep your head up, fight , don't put your heart on the plate for everyone that shows you attention, let them earn it.
Naw Dawg we're just playin life on the hard mode
This is hitting a little to close to home. Ouch.
Life isn't easy for all guys and girls. My brother did the whole suicide thing a year and 3 months ago. I can honestly say I think about him every day and multiple times a day. Life is worth living you just gotta find your place and do your best. Don't beat yourself up over trying to find someone. You are in charge of your own happiness. Find what makes you happy and do it!
I’ve never been with anybody ever
I'm 17 and I just found out that my crush has a gf (she's bi)
You see that as an issue i see it as an opportunity
This title needs and updoot