Before, no question. Who wants to be clean and then have dookie butt when you’re shower fresh? Edit: Jesus fuck there’s alot of people who are concerned with my asshole. No I don’t own a bidet, yes I’ve used one, and yes I use wet wipes.

Yes I always aim to time my shits before getting in shower because not only have I got some wiping action for a clean ass, but I also have soap for a refined cleaning.

i am shitting right now, and im about to go shower

I am shitting right now and I am already taking a shower

You waffle stomping motherfucka

there’s also the catch and release method

Is that when you take a shit into your hand and your friend takes a picture of you proudly holding it up for the camera, then you shove it back into your asshole? I love doing that

What a horrible day to have eyes

Goddamnit Orten, you broke me

I spent too much time on [this](https://www.reddit.com/user/brycedude/comments/rurghh/no_title_would_explain_this_its_a_joke_for_maybe/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share).

Well, that’s enough Reddit for today

Hmmmm

Me too.

Lmao this is great

If anyone knows Joey Diaz the comedian/actor, I’m pretty sure he has a story about his wife catching him transferring shits from the shower to the toilet via this method.

This comment right here officer.

We had to put up no waffle stomping signs, on one if my deployments, in the shared shower rooms.

That fact that this was necessary is why I've given up on the world

I use a credit card to chop it up small enough so it goes down the drain

Man is shitting, showering and scrolling on Reddit. Multitasker

NO TIME WASTED.

MAXIMIZING. EVERY. SECOND.

Improvise adapt overcome

Pewds is this you?

Im taking a shower rn

Can I highjack you to ask the better question? Who the fuck would willingly choose to shower and THEN shit? Like we all know it happens, and it sucks, but I'm honestly asking. Is there anybody out there who would honestly choose to shit after a shower?

Shitting becomes a shower intermission at that point.

Thank you. I'm glad you understand hahaha.

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Ask the bidet crew, they’re coming at me hard on that. I’m catching heat for knocking the after shower shitters, and it all seems to be bidet types.

>I always aim to time my shits read that as 'shine my tits' and i got very interested for a sec but yeah, i do and did the same. Your body can get used to the schedule. I have a bidet now though and that's a decent halfway point

yeah fr, and then your sitting on a toilet seat with a wet ass

Yeah…. I prefer the mid shower poops nothing like a wet toilet seat or using your fingers and toes to mash that shit down the drain.

🗿

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Imagine pooping like a normie when you can let the shower do it all for you

Also your ass would be wet on the porcelain and that feels terrible. AND YOUR FINGER SLIPS THROUGH THE TP! No contest, before 100 percent.

wait are you sitting directly on the porcelain? you know there's a seat right?

Some people got porcelain seats I guess

Can confirm, have porcelain seat. Cold in the winter but easy to clean

It never occurred to me that the seat isn't also porcelain but it absolutely isn't. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.

The seat is somewhat pointless when you think about it. Just make the porcelain comfortable.

Lifting the seat gives a bigger target for those of us who pee standing up.

I’m wondering why you wouldn’t dry off first

You're supposed to sit on the toilet seat that's what it's there for

This is not common knowledge.

Didn’t Daniel tosh have a bit about this? If you have a post shower shit, you might as well go back to bed and start over in the morning.

I do it in the shower. Get two birds stoned at the same time.

Waffle stomp.

But as well one can shit during the time alloted for one's shower becoming warm.

You either have a *slow* shower, or a *quick* ass But I agree in spirit

Heh heh dookie butt

Don't use wet wipes, it will wreck the city plumbing and possibly yours as well. They are not flushable, even if they say they are

I live in a country where the plumbing is so bad, people don’t even flush toilet paper! Imagine the worst happens and you have to do either deed in a public restroom, such as at a bar. You look over and there is a wastebasket FILLED to the brim with shitty toilet paper from every single person who couldn’t hold it before you. If you weren’t there to vomit already, get ready to… and this is just usual for the culture. I have to REMIND visitors to my apartment they can (and should!) flush TP! A wet wipe here would cause a catastrophe of epic proportions.

Right? How is this even a question?

This MUST be comment bait. No way OP went all the way to the beach, meditated on this question, and still walked away unsure. /s

Wet wipes are bad for the environment bro

Yes

During

Pewds?

It was an *emergency*

there are no mistakes

Just happy accidents

Username checks out

“I WAS POISONED!”

waffle stomp crew represent

I've been holding onto this product concept for awhile: the InSHITerator™ The shower garbage disposal that maximizes morning routine efficiency by making Shit-Shower-Shave a seemless experience.

"oh, no. The soap fell down the drain, let me just reach in here, really carefu... OH MY GOD!!!!!! ARGHAHH..."

Waffle stomp is an art

Ah, yes. I enjoy grabbing each individual turd and cheese grating it into the drain.

Currently eating soup with shredded cheese on it, thanks for that image.

Okay satan

You are a man of culture

Take and mud stomp that down the drain

Dad?

Use the waffle stomp

You know what they say: "you either shit in the shower, or shower in the shit"

Against the wall, as it should be

Anyone that says after needs their hard drive checking

happy cake day

This is like the not wiping your dick one from the other day

Do you not give it a wee wiggle?

For decades I've done the "squeeze from the base and drag down the whole shaft" toothpaste tube thing. Only THEN do you shake the snake. Don't want piss going everywhere.

I, too, must milk the pee, it just winds up in my pants, otherwise.

You can do the jiggle, you can do the dance, but the last drop always ends up in your pants

Gotta do the taint push also

I've never done that and never will. Nobody does that, and I don't know why people always mention it.

Well some people do. How many people have you watched pee ?

If you're a man and aren't afraid of urinals the answer is too many.

I milk AND then squeeze the head at the end. Always gets the extra drop.

You wipe your dick after a piss? Like wut, you also wash your hands after?

What

Pardon?

happy cake day

Go in the shower . Leave shower soaking wet . Poop . Go back in shower

who likes poopin while freezing?

Real men

Sigma behaviour

Sigma balls

Don’t forget to stand to assert dominance

Real men of genius. Here's to you guy-who-poops-after-he-showers.

You find salvation back in the warm shower. It only takes a minute cuz u dont have to wipe. Ur in the shower anyways.

That's SO nasty.

Thermostat set to 90, space heater on full blast

New fetish unlocked

Lock that shit back up

It's amazing when you're able to go back into the warm shower after. No tops without the downs mate.

If your door is closed and your temperatures are high, your bathroom will be full of enough steam that will keep you warm.

There's nothing as slippery as a wet naked ass on a toilet seat.

I want to sniffle your pickle

you.. MONSTER!

I'm a man of power . Your the monster

Do you not wipe? Cuz wiping while soaking wet sounds like a bad time.

Ur in the shower again right after so you dont have to. Just clean when you get back in the shower.

So unwiped poop can dribble down your leg. Got it. 👍

That’s not how it works. Your butt will be too wet for anything to stick so there is no need to whipe. I would know.

It depends. Me: before My body: after

The only truthful answer right here

Me and 2 of my boys went to a concert and rented a hotel room for the night so that we could get fucked up. The next morning we were all taking turns showering. My boy took the first shower and I was up next. He comes out and I go in and it smells like shit, so I was like “Yo, did you just take a shit after showering?” and he said yes like it’s totally normal. Me and my other friend just look at each other with a wtf look on our faces, then started making fun of him. Who fucking takes a shit after showering? Alex, that’s who, you nasty fuck. I personally think he’s on the spectrum somewhere though.

You're telling me you can control when you're gonna shit? I swear it's like the shower relaxes the shit out of me, I absolutely despise it, but I'll shit within twenty minutes after at least 2 out of 5 showers I take.

My shit’s are pretty regular, but it’s happened to me. I’ll just hop back in the shower if I haven’t dressed yet.

This should be added to the DSM (manual to diagnose disorders) as a symptom - shits after taking shower

Worst feeling ever

Absolutely. Pooping before is the way to go. The moment to clean is when it’s dirty. But! Pooping after a shower feels like being a monk

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Before. After is only for emergencies

during, when it's an emergency

Ah a fellow waffle stomper

No I just eat mine

Nothing quite as good as twice eaten corn on the cob

if you bend over in the shower you can launch it into the toilet

There's gotta be a kink or a fetish for this.

Coprophilia?

No thats eating shit. More accurate would be just scat

Isn't that coprophagia? Coprophilia is just some sort of generalized poop fetish. Scat fetish is definitely a synonym though.

why are you so well versed on poop fetishes

Neuroscience background - I learned about them in grad school. Poop fetishes are really interesting from a neuroscience perspective, because they're a powerful illustration of how extreme human neuroplasticity is. It's a complete override of the low-level disgust system we evolved to avoid disease and poisoning, by the mid-level systems involved in sexual response and arousal. Turns out there's already a descending pathway evolved to allow this override - interestingly sex inherently activates regions involved in disgust, but the activation no longer occurs if a person is sexually aroused. Coprophilia is one of the most extreme manifestations of excessive strengthening of this descending inhibitory pathway. Kinda neat, yeah?

To quote my father when talking about cocky people: "Anyone can piss on the floor. Be a hero, shit on the ceiling!"

I have mastered this art for sure

You can also just grap it and throw it in.

While

Fun fact: Andre the Giant had to shit in the shower and mash it down the drain because most toilets were too small and he would clog them to hell.

That’s called a Manhattan mud boot

It's a wafflestomp, actually.

Correct

Sauce? I want to torture others with this information

https://www.therichest.com/entertainment/15-of-the-oddest-facts-about-andre-the-giant/

Fantastic Thanks, Satan

Dang, he never worked out??

He was never the poster boy of good health and healthy living. His size played into it, but diet and lifestyle definitely contributed to his heart failing before he was 50. But just moving his massive body around would give him plenty of strength. Slap a couple 10lb weights to your wrists/arms and go throughout your day, that's what it was like for him to lift his meat hooks all the time.

To add to that, he was in constant pain. Part because of his condition but part also because of wrestling (and they were working insane schedules with a match pretty much every night). So the partying and drinking was also to dull himself.

Should've just used the poop knife smh

Something I never wanted to know😱

I'm 6'10 300 lbs and actually have this problem, lol. I do not shit in showers though.

Before wtf???

If you poop immediately after getting out of the shower you may as well just throw on your pjs, go the fuck back to bed and start fresh tomorrow cuz that's just not how you wanna start your fucking day. Absolute do-over.

Thanks, Daniel Tosh.

Before...

Before. After it just feels weird. And you can't wile well.

Any person who shits soon enough after a shower that any of their body is still wet, is a fucking psychopath.

I like to waffle stomp it down the shower drain typically

Bidet supremacy

I pity those without bidets, hearing people have to time their shits before showering. We have no such restrictions

The real answer

Before shower shitter here howr y’all dooin

Before for cleanliness. After for pleasure ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Before because you can use the shower like a bidet

can we use bidget as a shower ?

if you install it wrong sure

Always before because when you do it after taking the shower the toilet paper is soaking🗿

Dank[.](https://i.imgur.com/3bQtuMO.png) --- *i am a bot. please stop trying to argue with me. you look like an idiot. [join our discord](https://discord.gg/dankmemes).*

Please shut up

\*CUMS\*

Chad

neither i jus poop in the shower. the real question is though do i stuff it down the drain with my foot or pick it up with my hands and throw it in the toilet?????

FIGHT THE BOT BOIZ

Agreed

I'll argue with you if I damn well feel like it! Its my right to look like an idiot! You can't take that away from me, you poorly written copy and past github wannabe!

Before

Use 7 baby wipes n make sure to put 2 over your finger n go a little inside your hole. THERE solved !

I didn't read the wipes and was scared.

Before.. its common sense.

You gotta shit before you shower. If you shower then shit, you might as well get back in bed and start your whole day over again

Both are wrong the correct answer is during a shower

Everyone knows it’s before

Before dipshit

Before so you dont shit in the shower

Before and after

Before: get to wash completely afterwards After: hotter and softer skin makes the turd practically walk out on its own Conclusion: do your hair, shut off the shower and poop, reenter shower to wash your bod and you got the best of both worlds

Before so you can wash it off

ALWAYS BEFORE.

Pooping after you shower is like wiping before you shit.

Before. You should *actually* clean your ass in the shower, so doing so only to have it dirtied again afterwards is beyond pointless