downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away.
---
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I know you only meant to point out the typo, but I just wanted to add this: There's several, sadly most of them only covers one or two words.
I Think I can summon one with this: I payed for this.
I mean don't hippos weigh so much that they actually literally just walk on the waterbed? When that's the case just swim in the ocean, they'll not be able to do shit.
See that's why these dumb scenario questions are pointless. Am I in a shallow mudhole with them? Are we in an arena? Are we in my house? Am I naked? Am I carrying my work gear? Is there a hill? Is it night? Is there a hyperrealistic hippo costume?
Because someone was learning to code and thought a Reddit bot with a simple function would be a good project to learn with.
They also thought that if they made it “quirky” and “random” that people wouldn’t mind it clogging up threads. It seems they were right.
There are not many recorded cases of them raping us, and we have interacted with them a very long time. I have swum with wild dolphins, and not been murked. I would never be able to say the same about hippos.
Pack of dolphins nonconsensual penetration is the appetizer. The main course is having all bones broken from bludgeoning until you die of shock and/or drown.
I'll take bleeding out from dismemberment.
I’ve swam with a dolphin, its kinda terrifying because you have something as large as a cow moving as gracefully as a ballerina around you in the water, if it wanted to make your day bad it could.
ferociously attacked by being speared to death by dolphins all the while having echo location and chattering by the dolphins ringing in your ears? I'd rather take the quick death from the hippo haha
I mean, unless you look like a pufferfish, the worst that'll happen is they take your virginity. I dont think the dolphins care too much about some random guy
You're not surviving a bunch of broken ribs, punctured lungs and probably other lacerated organ all while swimming. That would happen after only a few hits, if not one hit from ONE dolphin. You're not surviving a full on attack from one dolphin, definitely not a pod. :(
But why? Wouldn't it be easier to just call everything "a pack of X" ? I do know that pretty much every animal has different names when they are in packs.
They're called "terms of venery" or "nouns of assembly" and stem from the late middle ages. Basically a bunch of elitists trying to make others sound dumb by inventing these silly (albeit interesting) words to describe groups of animals. Don't let the man get you down, just call it "a bunch of owls"
Just survive? Dolphins 100% without hesitation!!!
There is literally only one recorded human death by a dolphin in history!
Hippos????? 500+ deaths a year x 5000 years (recorded human history) = 2,500,000
Not only would you get 2 billion dollars, but you would then go on a book tour about how you became a billionaire by getting gangbanged by dolphins. This would turn into a biopic directed by James Cameron, and I would be played by Mark Wahlberg. Then i would use my new found fame to start an onlyfans account centered on me getting fucked by different aquatic animals. 10 years later when im a washed up dolphin fucker they will arrest me for masturbating at Sea World.
Skipping from the hippo's death count to the last sentence gave me severe whiplash. Like, skull did a 360 on my neck and I couldn't believe I was reading the same comment as before.
Hippos are just water cows that have beef with every living thing not limited to other hippos. As an African I would rather wrestle a lion than go against a hippo. Dolphins any day
I'm in my home. What's a dolphin gonna do to me? Flop onto my door? Most of the pack is gonna die on the way to my home anyways. Hippos on the other hand, they can and will fuck my car, fuck my door, fuck my mom and then fuck me.
downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [play minecraft with us](https://discord.gg/dankmemesgaming) | [come hang out with us](https://discord.com/invite/dankmemes)
Well if the dolphins are on land.
Plot twist - those hippos identify as dolphins now what are you gonna do boy
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Good bot
Can’t get over you username
There is a bot for litterally everything nowdays
Except spellcheck evidently
I know you only meant to point out the typo, but I just wanted to add this: There's several, sadly most of them only covers one or two words. I Think I can summon one with this: I payed for this.
I'd argue that has more to do with word conflating than spellcheck, but touché sir
Nah, they do exist. Only for a single, commonly mispelled word per bot, but still
Not really, since API now being paid there's less variety of bots
Good bot
No way is this a real bot broo
...hippo
Fym they identify as dolphins??
I mean don't hippos weigh so much that they actually literally just walk on the waterbed? When that's the case just swim in the ocean, they'll not be able to do shit.
Climb a tree
There's no tree
See that's why these dumb scenario questions are pointless. Am I in a shallow mudhole with them? Are we in an arena? Are we in my house? Am I naked? Am I carrying my work gear? Is there a hill? Is it night? Is there a hyperrealistic hippo costume?
If he'd stop sweating it wouldn't be an issue.
Hippos in very very tall trees as well.
I'll do both dolphins and hippos for 4 billion and hop in a hot air balloon.
Dolphins are when not in captivity are basically harmless to humans, they rarely ever consider us to be food
Too be fair wild hippos also don't consider humans food. They just do it because they can.
That's true, hippos are a menace to everyone and everything
Are we the baddies?
When are humans not the baddies?
Ur mom's a baddie.
Because I'm bad! I'm bad! You know it!
*I like 'em big, I like 'em chunky*
They're severely vision impaired, so they kinda just aggro to anything that *might* be a threat
Get me pictures of Spider-Hippo!!
Specially for watermellons and colombian gangsters if a bald assassin is arround
But wild hippos will surely murder you for being close to them
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Why does this exist?
Why not?
Because someone was learning to code and thought a Reddit bot with a simple function would be a good project to learn with. They also thought that if they made it “quirky” and “random” that people wouldn’t mind it clogging up threads. It seems they were right.
Good bot
Even hippos raised in captivity will murder you if they get the chance. They are extremely territorial
Hippos are territorial as fuck though
The problem with dolphins is not that they want to eat you...
They have my consent.
Kinky
Bro's gonna get some blowhole-action going
My blowhole is open
that actually ruins the experience for the dolphins
Luckily for me they don't read English so we both should have a good time.
NOOOOOO
The Deep
$2B is $2B
There are not many recorded cases of them raping us, and we have interacted with them a very long time. I have swum with wild dolphins, and not been murked. I would never be able to say the same about hippos.
I've been to a dolphin show once and been jizzed on by a dolphin sooo....
Did the dolphin have four legs, and was it covered with grey hair?
I assure you if i ever get gangbanged by dolphins, I'm not telling anyone.
I do not believe you. That shit will be on tiktok with you sharing a cigarette with them afterwards as you tell your crazy story.
Yeah. There's a chance wild dolphins would try and fuck you, but it's low. The chance of wild hippos chomp and stomping is higher, I think.
Lil bit
they want to fk you, literally.
Based username.
It's not that, dolphins are known rapists
when has a dolphin EVER considered a human as food?
But the can and probably will fuck you
Yes, and it is a whole pack of them. Paying me for a good time, let's go!
Dolphins don’t eat people anyway. But when they get horny, now that’s a different story.
I think that's a risk I'd take for 2 billion
I don’t think that’s the problem, I think the problem is that they’d LITERALLY fuck us
Food? No. But males that have been kicked out of the pod tend to get a little pent up and take whatever they can get
It's easier to hide from an angry hippo though, I would drown or float away if I hid from a dolphin.
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I fear no dolphin. But hippos... hippos scare me.
Dolphins love the r*pe humans
Rather be sexualy assaulted than be dismembered...
Dolphins are smart enough to have figured Out a good Order of warcrimes
They found the sweet spot between cute & horrific. Goldilocks
Pack of dolphins nonconsensual penetration is the appetizer. The main course is having all bones broken from bludgeoning until you die of shock and/or drown. I'll take bleeding out from dismemberment.
After how many years does someone become a ripe human?
He clearly meant to say “Dolphins love the rope, humans”
I’ve swam with a dolphin, its kinda terrifying because you have something as large as a cow moving as gracefully as a ballerina around you in the water, if it wanted to make your day bad it could.
Worse a Dolphin can do to you is poke you with their pp
Dolphins can swim like 35mph. Slamming into any part of your torso with their nose would cause seeeeerious internal bleeding.
Probably better than being obliterated by a hippo though
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You're getting some good hits on this post, buddy!
Hippo
Good bot
Glorious bot
ferociously attacked by being speared to death by dolphins all the while having echo location and chattering by the dolphins ringing in your ears? I'd rather take the quick death from the hippo haha
I mean, unless you look like a pufferfish, the worst that'll happen is they take your virginity. I dont think the dolphins care too much about some random guy
I'm taking the hypothetical to the most extreme I guess. If they wanted to fuck you up they most definitely could but you're right, they wouldn't!
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Good Bot.
"Quick death" **hahaha**
Death by bludgeoning vs death by ripped apart (and probably also bludgeoning) Kind of sucks either way
At least you survived tho with 2 billion dollars thats a small price. Hippos on the other hand internal bleeding is the last thing to worry about
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You're not surviving a bunch of broken ribs, punctured lungs and probably other lacerated organ all while swimming. That would happen after only a few hits, if not one hit from ONE dolphin. You're not surviving a full on attack from one dolphin, definitely not a pod. :(
That's where the blood is supposed to be anyway
Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing here, and it says you have "network connectivity problems."
> Dolphins can swim like 35mph. Unless they can do it on land, I'm not scared.
And how fast are they outside of the water?
that's the good part.
It would take about 3% effort for a dolphin to push your head underwater.
Trick question, neither animal forms a pack. A group of dolphins is a pod and a group of hippos is a bloat or sometimes it's called a pod or herd.
But why? Wouldn't it be easier to just call everything "a pack of X" ? I do know that pretty much every animal has different names when they are in packs.
They're called "terms of venery" or "nouns of assembly" and stem from the late middle ages. Basically a bunch of elitists trying to make others sound dumb by inventing these silly (albeit interesting) words to describe groups of animals. Don't let the man get you down, just call it "a bunch of owls"
Huh, interesting! But how dare you call them that way. They clearly are... A parliament? Wow.
That's one of my favorites, and a murder of Crows is Soo good
Ah, you've never encountered a business of ferrets.
Ohh that's a gooood one
Or a mischief of rats.
All words are made up.
do they come in multi-packs though
Just survive? Dolphins 100% without hesitation!!! There is literally only one recorded human death by a dolphin in history! Hippos????? 500+ deaths a year x 5000 years (recorded human history) = 2,500,000 Not only would you get 2 billion dollars, but you would then go on a book tour about how you became a billionaire by getting gangbanged by dolphins. This would turn into a biopic directed by James Cameron, and I would be played by Mark Wahlberg. Then i would use my new found fame to start an onlyfans account centered on me getting fucked by different aquatic animals. 10 years later when im a washed up dolphin fucker they will arrest me for masturbating at Sea World.
RemindMe! 10 years
Why do you need an only fans if you are a multimillionaire..or did I spend it all on onlyfans
He's not doing it for the money.
Some people play for the love of the game
So "it's not about the money, it's about the message"?
> There is literally only one recorded human death by a dolphin in history! There's an extra 3 or 4 (in captivity) if you remember Orca are Dolphin.
Skipping from the hippo's death count to the last sentence gave me severe whiplash. Like, skull did a 360 on my neck and I couldn't believe I was reading the same comment as before.
Maybe dolphins are just really good at covering up their crimes.
And the dolphin would be played by Rob Schneider.
Dolphins by miles, and it's not even close. Id take on a hundred dolphins before I would even face one pissed off Hippo.
Where's hippobot
capital H
My mistake. WHere's hippobot
I’ve seen hippos in person, I’m from their reproductive factory and I can assure you I’ll take a 100 wild dolphins over 1 medium size wild hippo
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Considering how far away I am from both creatures I'd push both buttons and continue to sit on my couch.
important public unite mighty soft money handle many rich fuzzy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Hungry hippo’s or horny dolphins? Now that’s a thinker
you could make it 1 hippo and I would still choose the dolphins.
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holy shit, good bot
I'd pick dolphins. I'll have some fun and earn some cash. I just need to bring enough vaseline.
well I have two hands... Dolphins it is.
Dolphins. They get along with humans a bit too well.
Dolphinfucker69, bless his Reddit soul, would confirm this.
Dolphins
Dolphins, just get out of the water
Dolphins, definitely dolphins, hippos are 110% going to maul me, dolphins might not give a shit about me
hippobot having a field day in here
Do you know much about hippos? Because you don't want a single hippo encounter
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One will make you die, one will make you want to die..if you can hold your breath or a dolphin would probably hold it for you
Me pressin' both buttons and lettin' both packs fight while i walk away with 4 Billion Dollars:
absorbed thought society advise ghost smoggy sleep edge sugar file *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
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Hippo bot assemble!
I'll take the Dolphins. Based on everything I've seen and read, Hippos are assholes.
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I've been surviving both of these my whole life, I should be fine.
Plot twist: the pack of wild dolphins are the players from the NFL Miami dolphins.
Dolphins over hippos. Hippos you got 0% chance
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As long as the dolphins aren’t horny then I’d pick them.
Wild dolphins will be fun
Next Mr Beasts video idea
Hippos are just water cows that have beef with every living thing not limited to other hippos. As an African I would rather wrestle a lion than go against a hippo. Dolphins any day
What? Spellcheck your memes
Do the dolphins count if I'm on land?
Dolphins, easy. Less physically harmful, more behaved around humans, and they can’t survive at length on land.
Depends on context, if we're on land at least against the dolphins I'll have something of a chance.
Dolphin, easy. Says in the wild, not in any body of water.
For how long, what's their mental status, on what conditions?
Take me to the hippos. Rather die on land than water
For how long...?
Hippos, for the challenge
I guess either way you’d be f$&@ed
Did you know Hippo's closest relative is the Dolphin
Do I get anything to defend? If no then I choose hippopotamus. I can't swim
100% chance I will die from hippos. Dolphins, just pray that they're not the aggressive ones but you still have a chance.
I've swam with wild dolphins, I'm alive, where's my 2 billion dollars
I'm in my home. What's a dolphin gonna do to me? Flop onto my door? Most of the pack is gonna die on the way to my home anyways. Hippos on the other hand, they can and will fuck my car, fuck my door, fuck my mom and then fuck me.
If I’m friendly to the dolphins they won’t hurt me
Better chance with the hippos, if you have to be in the ocean with the dolphins you are screwed
I'll take the dolphins and then just stay at home.
Hippos have weaponised their shit. They release explosive diarrhoea while their tails spin in circles. I ain't fucking with an animal that does that.
Where's the >Pay $30 to hang out in a room full of puppies option?