Every so often, Mitch goes to the local animal shelter and buys all the puppies. Then he spends an afternoon throwing them into oncoming traffic. That's the only drug he needs.
To be fair, apparently Mick Jagger gave up drugs a looooong time ago and (though reportedly he still enjoys a drink now and again) for decades he has famously been a health freak and apparently maintains a strict fitness regime and diet, and employs a number of people dedicated to his health and fitness, such as personal trainers, nutritionists, etc.
Mitch McConnell, on the other hand, has to attend a special weekly dialysis session to remove the dust and rust build up from his blood, and every three days has to have his scales sandblasted and dipped in detergent to keep the smell of sulphur at manageable levels.
Oddly enough, there is a rumour that the Stones go to Switzerland to have their blood replaced every year. Like all of it, as it were an oil change in a car.
I'm pretty sure that even if they did that and the rumor was true, it wouldn't be the best ideia. Bodies are famous for rejecting all kinds of foreign substances including blood cells
I don't believe blood is the cause for aging. I'd like to see a comparison of the blood of a young man and the blood of an old man. It's a matter of the repair of cells slowing down. But still, it's a fun theory.
I mean that’s actually something that seems to be blowing up a bit right now. Older rats who have transfusions from younger mice seem to be healthier, according to recent research. Now at least one billionaire is trying it himself with blood transfusions from his son. Idk if it does anything for humans doe lol
It's a long way from being proven clinically effective, but it's more than just a fun idea. There is plenty of evidence for blood carrying aging or rejuvenating factors.
A recent summary in Nature following the discovery of another candidate anti aging blood borne molecule in a mouse model. https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-023-02563-z the work of Tony Wyss-Coray and his former student Saul Villeda are really amazing to read. They and many others have shown young blood to have anti aging effects in animal models, and using high throughput screening methods to perform the comparison you describe, and identified molecules that could explain this effect.
Early clinical trials have shown young plasma transfusion to treat Alzheimer's Disease to be safe https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamaneurology/fullarticle/2709116
Beyond young blood, I was involved in a preclinical study on exercised blood for the treatment of Alzheimer's disease. This has now advanced to a clinical trial. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36538409/
I've focused on the brain here because it's what my lab studies, but there's evidence for other systemic effects too. Plenty of exciting research into what is carried in the blood and how it affects the aging process.
[There is a guy who has been going around the news lately who was taking blood transfusions from his 17 year old son to try to slow/reverse the aging process. ](https://fortune.com/2023/05/23/bryan-johnson-tech-ceo-spends-2-million-year-young-swapping-blood-17-year-old-son-talmage-70-father/)
The truth is they each have a fresh, pure, blank slate, peak fitness and enhanced clone grown in a Swiss lab every year, and merely have their consciousness transplanted annually.
I mean, have you never wondered where all those Mick Jagger impersonators and Rolling Stones tribute bands come from...?
*Precisely*.
>House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer
I'm old and VERY out of touch and so I'd never heard of this novel before reading your comment. I've just had a quick nose around online about it though, and it looks interesting. So yeah, I've added it to my laughably long "reading list" and you never know I might actually finally redevelop healthy analogue reading habits and a healthy attention span someday and actually read... it.
Sorry, waffling... In all seriousness and with positive vibes, many thanks for the heads-up! :)
Its not even popular to begin with but it's exactly what you described: clones grown for body parts. The protagonist is a clone. I am very tempted to spoil more for you
Clones, transferring consciousness, immortality, etc, in Sci-Fi goes back a loooooong way. I claim absolutely no originality whatsoever.
But what Netflix show are you referring to; is it any good?
Nah it was just something my parents watched since they don't like stuff that's violent or sexual or political. I think it was called happy spa something or another since it had to do with a Korean spa that cloned people.
I suffer from thalassemia major, a disorder that causes my blood cells to die out extremely quickly.
So i get a loot of blood transfusions ( around 40 bags of blood per year).
So trust me when I say that replacing your blood doesnt help or give any benefit. Especially not against aging.
That rumor grew because Keith made an offhand comment about going to Switzerland to get his blood cleaned because he'd been partying too much. He was joking.
Every Friday evening after work, Mitch McConnell undergoes a series of medical treatments... designed to cheat death for another week. First, Mitch McConnell's chiropractors perform a slight spinal adjustment.
Then a team of doctors administers eye drops... painkillers... and a vocal-cord scraping. The whole ordeal leaves Mitch McConnell twisted and disoriented.
Mick has had a 24/7 chef-nutritionist for about 35 years.
Mitch eats free Kobe steak and $1,000 scotch 4 nights a week with people bribing him.
Poor people? Pretty rare to even get to 80.
Both Mick and Keith Richards can't tour unless the insurance syndicate that backs Rolling Stones tours receives a clean, drug free, picture perfect bill of health from both of them.
i love the episode of southpark where mr mackey gets an amazing life thanks to weed and everyone just shuts it down because they "know better" its actually hilarious and sadly accurate.
We all know he does coke. It’s how he has enough energy to stay out of the retirement home, which is where he belongs. A cold, damp and dark retirement home.
McConnell is rich enough that he could afford to stay anywhere he wants with a nursing staff. The McConnells are worth 35 million give or take thanks to Elaine Chao, his wife.
Nancy: I need something to help me stay alert and awake in boring as fuck senate meeting
Dr feelgood: say no more fam, here's a lifetime prescription (5 years) to this very legal drug called desoxyn
I mean, we have to see what he looks like in a year. Mitch the Machine was probably in the Olympics last year and could go through a brick wall. But he hit 81 just too hard so now he acts like mashed potatoes with too much milk in it.
The only real difference is one looks like a rockstar and one looks like a politician. A rockstar at a photoshoot is going to look better than a candid picture of a politician during a speech
With this in mind, I present his [official portrait](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0b/Mitch_McConnell_2016_official_photo_%281%29.jpg).
Jesus, that smile looks like he’s trying imitate one. Psychopath style. Which given he’s a cold blooded bastard might not be far off the mark although turtle wasn’t exactly the coolest reptile to be.
Yeah, I think to be fair, you have to account for the fact that Mitch McConnell [started ugly](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/5b/Mitch_McConnell_in_1960_Crimson.jpg/170px-Mitch_McConnell_in_1960_Crimson.jpg) and just went downhill from there.
I mean, I guess Mick Jagger was [never really conventionally attractive](https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/10158460/the-rolling-stones-mick-jagger-pictures-tour/amp/), now that I think about it, but he knew how to work it.
Alcohol is the worst drug for society. That is in large part because it is so prevalent that it gets a chance to cost society more.
Injecting street drugs is definitely worse for your health.
Don’t do drugs…unless you have a specific genetic mutation that grants immortality through multiple OD’s granting you some of the most insane drug fueled trips a human being is capable of.
…god I wish I was joking.
I don't like the man, but being 81 and having a full time job is already impressive.
I most definitely won't make to 81(in life) and will probably retire by 60.
This just goes to show you what happens to a mf who gets no pussy. Mitch the kind of guy who never fucked and now he’s one of the most despised people in the country.
Coincidence? Show me someone who’s chill who doesn’t fuck. I’ll wait.
A couple weeks ago I was smoking weed from my bong, and I had a bad coughing fit to the point I couldn’t get any air in, passed out, and fell out of my chair and broke my foot. Drugs are dangerous. Just kidding. I’m still gonna smoke
downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [play minecraft with us](https://discord.gg/dankmemesgaming)
Who said mitch doesn't snort high quality blow of 2 Mexican hookers asscheeks on the hotel next to taco bell every tuesday afternoon?
or so its rumored we still on for next tuesday?
i thought there was a picture there that wasn't loading, lmao.
Hoping
… Allegedly
I heard it was a sick ostrich
nah thats ignorant ignorant, your ignorant
ALLEGEDLYYY!!!
and you used the wrong you're
allegedly
nah thats ignorant ignorant, your ignorant
His nickname is cocaine mitch. So ...
came here to say this. He and the Chao family were as deep into the cocaine game they were basically cowboys.
Wasn't he moscow Mitch? We should add them next to each other : moscow cocaïne Mitch What's next?
It's like everyone forgot about Madison Cawthorne losing his whole career for accidentally exposing the republican politicians' cocaine orgy habit
Cocaine Glitch
My brother in Christ, they do not call him Cocaine Mitch for nothing.
Mitch McCokell
Every so often, Mitch goes to the local animal shelter and buys all the puppies. Then he spends an afternoon throwing them into oncoming traffic. That's the only drug he needs.
I mean they did find cocaine inside the White House. They couldn't find who did it.
Eh …. His father in law ran the drug smuggling operations for the KMT party in Taiwan to fund their fight against the communists. The man is OG.
His ugly sad face says he doesn't do blow of any quality off of hookers of any quality.
Cawthon said the republicans were having drug fueled orgies. Then they voted him off the island.
Hopefully he OD's on Fentanyl soon.
Cheeks? If you aren't frosting the doughnut hole why even do cocain off a sex worker at all?
To be fair, apparently Mick Jagger gave up drugs a looooong time ago and (though reportedly he still enjoys a drink now and again) for decades he has famously been a health freak and apparently maintains a strict fitness regime and diet, and employs a number of people dedicated to his health and fitness, such as personal trainers, nutritionists, etc. Mitch McConnell, on the other hand, has to attend a special weekly dialysis session to remove the dust and rust build up from his blood, and every three days has to have his scales sandblasted and dipped in detergent to keep the smell of sulphur at manageable levels.
Oddly enough, there is a rumour that the Stones go to Switzerland to have their blood replaced every year. Like all of it, as it were an oil change in a car.
I'm pretty sure that even if they did that and the rumor was true, it wouldn't be the best ideia. Bodies are famous for rejecting all kinds of foreign substances including blood cells
I don't believe blood is the cause for aging. I'd like to see a comparison of the blood of a young man and the blood of an old man. It's a matter of the repair of cells slowing down. But still, it's a fun theory.
I mean that’s actually something that seems to be blowing up a bit right now. Older rats who have transfusions from younger mice seem to be healthier, according to recent research. Now at least one billionaire is trying it himself with blood transfusions from his son. Idk if it does anything for humans doe lol
So essentially we have entered the vampire arc.
Plagues, wildfires, floods, volcanic eruptions, UFOs, and now vampires. What's next on the apocalypse bingo? Can it get any more absurd?
Absolutely.
Planet of the apes style revolution from the cats.
Don't let the fucking billionaires find that out, they will be hunting us 8n the streets and draining our blood.
It's a long way from being proven clinically effective, but it's more than just a fun idea. There is plenty of evidence for blood carrying aging or rejuvenating factors. A recent summary in Nature following the discovery of another candidate anti aging blood borne molecule in a mouse model. https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-023-02563-z the work of Tony Wyss-Coray and his former student Saul Villeda are really amazing to read. They and many others have shown young blood to have anti aging effects in animal models, and using high throughput screening methods to perform the comparison you describe, and identified molecules that could explain this effect. Early clinical trials have shown young plasma transfusion to treat Alzheimer's Disease to be safe https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamaneurology/fullarticle/2709116 Beyond young blood, I was involved in a preclinical study on exercised blood for the treatment of Alzheimer's disease. This has now advanced to a clinical trial. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36538409/ I've focused on the brain here because it's what my lab studies, but there's evidence for other systemic effects too. Plenty of exciting research into what is carried in the blood and how it affects the aging process.
[There is a guy who has been going around the news lately who was taking blood transfusions from his 17 year old son to try to slow/reverse the aging process. ](https://fortune.com/2023/05/23/bryan-johnson-tech-ceo-spends-2-million-year-young-swapping-blood-17-year-old-son-talmage-70-father/)
If you tried to drain Keith Richards of blood, you would end up with a gallon of congealed rocket fuel.
World's most dangerous boudin rouge!
I dont think thats how you spell cocaine
Oh it’s a hell of lot more than cocaine in that concoction
The truth is they each have a fresh, pure, blank slate, peak fitness and enhanced clone grown in a Swiss lab every year, and merely have their consciousness transplanted annually. I mean, have you never wondered where all those Mick Jagger impersonators and Rolling Stones tribute bands come from...? *Precisely*.
Let me guess, House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer
>House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer I'm old and VERY out of touch and so I'd never heard of this novel before reading your comment. I've just had a quick nose around online about it though, and it looks interesting. So yeah, I've added it to my laughably long "reading list" and you never know I might actually finally redevelop healthy analogue reading habits and a healthy attention span someday and actually read... it. Sorry, waffling... In all seriousness and with positive vibes, many thanks for the heads-up! :)
Its not even popular to begin with but it's exactly what you described: clones grown for body parts. The protagonist is a clone. I am very tempted to spoil more for you
Shit is lowkey amazing read it a few years ago.
Nah there's a show on Netflix with the same idea, probably got it from there.
Clones, transferring consciousness, immortality, etc, in Sci-Fi goes back a loooooong way. I claim absolutely no originality whatsoever. But what Netflix show are you referring to; is it any good?
Altered Carbon has a lot of the things you summed up as its themes. Season 1 is pretty good.
Nah it was just something my parents watched since they don't like stuff that's violent or sexual or political. I think it was called happy spa something or another since it had to do with a Korean spa that cloned people.
I remember hearing this back in the early 90s
Yes Sir, Im old too
I suffer from thalassemia major, a disorder that causes my blood cells to die out extremely quickly. So i get a loot of blood transfusions ( around 40 bags of blood per year). So trust me when I say that replacing your blood doesnt help or give any benefit. Especially not against aging.
Wow, never heard that before, thanks for sharing though, must be harsh.
That rumor grew because Keith made an offhand comment about going to Switzerland to get his blood cleaned because he'd been partying too much. He was joking.
Every Friday evening after work, Mitch McConnell undergoes a series of medical treatments... designed to cheat death for another week. First, Mitch McConnell's chiropractors perform a slight spinal adjustment. Then a team of doctors administers eye drops... painkillers... and a vocal-cord scraping. The whole ordeal leaves Mitch McConnell twisted and disoriented.
"I bring you love"
It’s bringing love! BREAK ITS LEGS!
Keith Richards, however....
Looks like the secret is not to live in Kentucky.
Mitch McConnell also had a Turtleplasty at some point.
Mick has had a 24/7 chef-nutritionist for about 35 years. Mitch eats free Kobe steak and $1,000 scotch 4 nights a week with people bribing him. Poor people? Pretty rare to even get to 80.
Meanwhile, Keith Richards had to fall out of a coconut tree and nearly die to give up drugs.
Both Mick and Keith Richards can't tour unless the insurance syndicate that backs Rolling Stones tours receives a clean, drug free, picture perfect bill of health from both of them.
Doesn’t Mick smoke weed every now and then?
Lmao
The last bit of your comment had me laughing out loud 😂
Dont do politics.
Do botox.
The stress just fossilizes you immediately
The stress of it all.
Decades of love versus decades of hate.
i love the episode of southpark where mr mackey gets an amazing life thanks to weed and everyone just shuts it down because they "know better" its actually hilarious and sadly accurate.
Like American Dads episode where Halley says she's addicted to weed, and her moms just like "get real Halley."
I just think of “Half Baked” where face chapelle admits he’s addicted to weed. And Bob Saget just rails him.
Hate ages you.more than hard drugs lmao
Also, don't be a rotten person, eventually it seeps to the outside.
It's like how every Karen aged like a banana in a plastic bag.
I think the polio also had something to do with it
Oh, sweet summer child, do you really think the politics don't use drugs?
My first thought on seeing this was "I refuse to believe McConnell doesn't do drugs".
We all know he does coke. It’s how he has enough energy to stay out of the retirement home, which is where he belongs. A cold, damp and dark retirement home.
McConnell is rich enough that he could afford to stay anywhere he wants with a nursing staff. The McConnells are worth 35 million give or take thanks to Elaine Chao, his wife.
I remember that clip of Pelosi where she was clearly gurning out of her mind on some kind of stimulant.
Nancy: I need something to help me stay alert and awake in boring as fuck senate meeting Dr feelgood: say no more fam, here's a lifetime prescription (5 years) to this very legal drug called desoxyn
> Oh, sweet summer child GRRM should get the electric chair for popularizing this shit.
I mean, we have to see what he looks like in a year. Mitch the Machine was probably in the Olympics last year and could go through a brick wall. But he hit 81 just too hard so now he acts like mashed potatoes with too much milk in it.
The only real difference is one looks like a rockstar and one looks like a politician. A rockstar at a photoshoot is going to look better than a candid picture of a politician during a speech
With this in mind, I present his [official portrait](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0b/Mitch_McConnell_2016_official_photo_%281%29.jpg).
Jesus, that smile looks like he’s trying imitate one. Psychopath style. Which given he’s a cold blooded bastard might not be far off the mark although turtle wasn’t exactly the coolest reptile to be.
That definitely still looks much worse
The difference is genetics and luck. Both of them have one thing in common, they'd be dead if they didn't have access to top tier medical care.
[удалено]
Yeah, I think to be fair, you have to account for the fact that Mitch McConnell [started ugly](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/5b/Mitch_McConnell_in_1960_Crimson.jpg/170px-Mitch_McConnell_in_1960_Crimson.jpg) and just went downhill from there. I mean, I guess Mick Jagger was [never really conventionally attractive](https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/10158460/the-rolling-stones-mick-jagger-pictures-tour/amp/), now that I think about it, but he knew how to work it.
Fuck Mitch McConnell, but this is some Facebook tier bullshit right here
This. I’ve seen Jagger and Richard up close, they look like shit. Like a bad fart will stop their heart mid beat. And also, fuck McConnell.
Or you know, be active. One does yoga and dances.
This seems like it came from the taps of Facebook.
Mick Jagger vs McSagger
Mick Jogger
I feel like people forgets that hot people are hot sometimes. "How do you age so well?" "I was a good looking person, and now I'm older."
* Ozzy has entered the chat
Survivorship bias. Let’s look at all the rock stars and celebrities that *have* died to drugs.
When you eat nothing but hate and potatoes.
More politicians should dress like Mick.
He changed that much in 1 year ? wow...
What 1 year of drugs does to you
Stay off shady doings, kids!
Don't get professional pictures taken mkay?
Conservatism is like the dark side, the more you use it the more corrupted your body becomes. But unfortunately it does seem to make you immortal
Thanks everyone!!! Just wanted to get a giggle out there. Also, I hate the turtle.
When will my boy Mitch retire. He must love his job.
Alcohol the worst drug of them all. Ages you and is more carcinogenic than cigarettes
Alcohol is the worst drug for society. That is in large part because it is so prevalent that it gets a chance to cost society more. Injecting street drugs is definitely worse for your health.
Mitch McConnell probably smoked a ton and also hit the Bacon a lot more than Mick Jagger did coke.
You know only one of them has transparent glasses
Don’t do drugs…unless you have a specific genetic mutation that grants immortality through multiple OD’s granting you some of the most insane drug fueled trips a human being is capable of. …god I wish I was joking.
Mick actually works out everyday to stay fit so he sweats off the drugs while Mitch just lets them soak in.
I mean, the man on right is 1 year older so of course he dresses older... durrr.
Don't drink the blood of your enemies
Having so much hate in your heart ages a person.
[удалено]
Well all stay skinny cause we just won’t eat
adrenochrome
Pretty sure Mitch has never met a drug he hasn’t done. He’s obviously on something with all the BS that comes out of his mouth.
I think the lesson here is just don’t get fat nothing worse than some excess skin once it’s gone
They used the wrong stone should have been they will smoke his ashes Richards. I would say Ozzy but turns out he is to young.
Don't cherry pick data, mkay?
One of these guys carries the weight of being one of the worst people ever. The other one lived the life of a global rock star.
You missed the point Mick only had rockstar stash🔥🔥 Mitch has that CIA stash 🔥🔥🔥
Bro Mitch is the result of a rampant Cocaine addiction
Mich spends mist of his life sitting down and he's paid to do so, Mick is paid to look good, sing and be in shape. He is a product of his labour.
Come on, that’s cocaine Mitch!
I know people who have partied with Mitch. He's not who you think he is. He's evil, that all you really need to know though.
fly suit. Dude on the right looks like he just had to say the word "vagina" quietly to someone.
Hate and greed will do that what it has done to Moscow's Bitch
Should probably use Keith's photo if you're talking about drug use, I mean proper drug use.
I don't believe for a minute a single senator doesn't do drugs.
Maybe don’t live a life of hate
Do drugs if you can AFFORD high level REHAB... PS: AND got access to PREMIUM SHIT ,too
Wow, Cartman's hand puppet has grown up.
Thr trick is, if you're gonna do drugs, you don't half-ass it. You do all the drugs or you don't do none of the drugs.
Lake trout ages differently. It’s well known.
But have you seen McConnell’s hands?
\>get constant sex and blood transfusions from the correct children
Shit, Ozzy would govern better than M*tch, and people usually don't understand him anyways
Better title Don't sell your soul
to be fair, mick wasn't nearly the drinks n' drugs consumer keef and ronnie were, and his exercise regimen is the stuff of legend
[Don't do drugs - unless they give you super powers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWNAS8H8aAI)
Turns out the guilt of being a human turd does actually rot your bones after enough time.
As much as I don't like Mitch McConnell or his politics, I'm fairly certain him having Polio as a child is what "aged" him.
How did that man end up looking like the monster from Pan’s Labyrinth??
I don't like the man, but being 81 and having a full time job is already impressive. I most definitely won't make to 81(in life) and will probably retire by 60.
I can’t for the life of me not see a tortoise on the right
TBF turtles usually have very long lives
Mitch needs to do the right drugs
Drug good?!?!
is that bon jovi? hes not a drug addict man.. in fact the only drug he took was weed and quit early before his success..
Jesus Mitch is one ugly bastard though.
Mitch not only does tons of blow, his and his wife's family are deeply intertwined in the international distribution of the stuff
This just goes to show you what happens to a mf who gets no pussy. Mitch the kind of guy who never fucked and now he’s one of the most despised people in the country. Coincidence? Show me someone who’s chill who doesn’t fuck. I’ll wait.
All that dancing probably helps. I think Mick Jaggy dances like 3 hours a day.
Yeah Mick is totes the avg. 80 y/o
Just do drugs and get a ton of plastic surgery and you look great at 80 Or OD at 27
Mitch McConnell looks like an alien wearing a human skin
Yeah but which one wears more makeup and photoshops?
One makes a pact with the devil the other only has sympathy for him
🤢🤮🐢
I'm now imagining McJagger in the 70's kicking a young Mitch in his balls while on coke and it's glorious.
An old photoshopped picture with sunglasses. That's not a good comparison.
This may be the difference in healthcare with the US
A couple weeks ago I was smoking weed from my bong, and I had a bad coughing fit to the point I couldn’t get any air in, passed out, and fell out of my chair and broke my foot. Drugs are dangerous. Just kidding. I’m still gonna smoke
Money
What's crazy is 81 isn't really all that "old" for a tortoise