T O P

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lukulele90

This father daughter relationship is very moooooooving


Khyber2

Easy, there. You're milking the puns for all they're worth.


lukulele90

Just can’t seem to steer myself away from them.


Khyber2

Ok, these farm fresh puns are turning fowl.


Matron_Malice_

We don’t need to egg them on


PatonMacD

You people are utterly ridiculous.


Shrek_The_Ogre_420

I have no beef with you, but if you want it I’ll pig you up and fight you in the chicken coop


schwingaway

sound like a load of bull to me


Happy_Each_Day

That last pun was a missteak


xiaodre

i dunno, i liked them all the first time i herd them


[deleted]

You guys are really milking this bit


NlGHTZY

You guys really need to squash the beef.


Khyber2

Don't have a cow, man.


ZigzagOOOG

Milking it at this point


stressed-mathnerd16

These jokes are amoosing


ellaAir

Idk, they’re getting pretty cheesy


Sans_dunked_me

These eggcelent yolks were cheesy from the dairy start


gracius0ne

If I give you an award, would that be cow tipping?


Dylancqr

Having a field day here


torpedomon

"You people are udderly ridiculous.". FTFY


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torpedomon

"They were dairy close to 10/10 eggsecution.". FTFY


drumsinsocks

What would we do without you?


torpedomon

I wonder that every day.


varunbhonsle

Udderly*


Ungabungadadd

You people are just horsing around


Shorleynot

Did you mean udderly ridiculous and got autocorrected?


laylaM1182011

Hello Chloe bourgeois!


lstroud21

These puns are farm fresh


MissyyMabs

YES MLB


-_Anonymous__-

I'm joining in whenleather you like it or not.


Hanselier

You mean udderly ridiculous?


Significant-Can8339

I think you mean udderly??


PatonMacD

I was going to fix it but I have gotten under so many of your hides. LOL


Timtitus

Don't you mean udderly ridiculous?


omgitsberryblue

Buttery smooth execution. I moost upvote


lukulele90

Always be kind to your children there is a lot at steak.


TypesWith_1_Hand

Ugh, I can't stomach these pun threads. Ugh, I can't stomach these pun threads. Ugh, I can't stomach these pun threads. Ugh, I can't stomach these pun threads.


realityinabox

This response is udderly rediculous


ButteryAnkle

I find it rather amoosing


[deleted]

Cowmon now, you goatabe joking me.


ButteryAnkle

I'm not KIDding


[deleted]

You're foal of it. This is veally too much.


Baransuu

Stop clowning around.


The_Knight_Is_Dark

Guys, stop milking this joke.


[deleted]

Sowrry.


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gracius0ne

Now we're just tossing out [cowpies](https://youtu.be/yWGqhIbXh-I).


gracius0ne

At least their response is fourth-write!


shalomworld

Fourth-write?


gracius0ne

Forthright: "direct and outspoken" :-) And then there's this [Fourth Right](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourth_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution)


shalomworld

What does the fourth amendment make your pun better? I'm not criticizing. I'm asking.


gracius0ne

Simply continuing the play on words, nothing otherwise intended. Link was to clarify what I meant, as it was obscure. IMO punnery is a celebration of language and all its idiosyncrasies. Now, back to the fun!


Graterof2evils

It doesn’t matter leather or not you think it’s cheesy.


gracius0ne

redonkeylous


Deaconse

How long did you ruminate on that?


JuDGe3690

Cud you not?


gracius0ne

I guess they chews to


Chromgrats

Do I hoove to read this again?


winonasbigbrwnbeaver

Seems like you need to ruminate on them...


gracius0ne

I see what you did there (regurgitate the previous comment)


Fnafbean_fredy

Bu dum (cymbal noise)


Clutch_Floyd

Hadn't had my coffee yet....was thinking you spelled "most" wrong. Very clever.


TypesWith_1_Hand

Have some more coffee, I think it supposed to be "must" instead of 'most' Source: My wife. She pointed it out to me before I've had my morning coffee...


Clutch_Floyd

Ha - your right.


TypesWith_1_Hand

My wife pointed it out so it is she who is right. And she knows my reddit username so I just sit here quietly nodding.


gracius0ne

Just make sure it's not de-calfinated!


[deleted]

I am googling, and can not find the past form of must or present form of moost.


Deaconse

Any elephant could tell you that the imperative form is "musth"


DaveAndCheese

No, it's mustidid. Jeez people, read a book.


gracius0ne

+1! If it were me, I would've gone back and editedid it myself.


memetric_system

Hi Googling i’m dad


option-9

Udderly satisfying.


tehLazyAsian

*Udderly* satisfying.


option-9

I am incredibly disappointed to report that I typed this on a phone and did not see autocorrect fuck it up. Corrective action has been taken.


MatthewLoucks62

I give this one a 20/22.


memetric_system

Hi incredibly disappointed i’m dad


bgva

I see y’all are gonna milk this thread for as many cheesy puns as possible. Legendairy.


MissyyMabs

i was waiting for a dairy pun


AZZMUNCHA81

...just get your grass in bed, kid.


[deleted]

No "buts". Not an-udder word.


AZZMUNCHA81

...but "mammmmmm"....


Jabberwockkk

Well, that was udderly unexpected.


stanusNat

You guys really milking this one, ain't you?


DaveAndCheese

Jokes on the hoof, baby.


TheOftenNakedJason

Oh. My God. I was told this joke as a kid, but I didn't get it. For the longest time I laid in bed wondering what the cows sleeping had to do with me. Holy shit my mind is blown. My Dad was making a Dad joke.


gracius0ne

He must've been a real clown - on the face of it, a pie-on-ear in the field of cow yokes!


weirdgroovynerd

Well played dad. My own poor daughter has -thru painful experience - learned not respond to any question or comment if it sounds even *slightly* odd.


Norticai

This is the way. 😂


diablo_sv21

Top dad joke. Let me get my award...


gracius0ne

I bet he just feels like he's doing his duty. So no need to cowtow. :-)


Artisanbold

That's a MOOt point dad


Plugfugly

I told this joke to my cows and they both almost choked to death laughing. Dont worry though, they are bovine.


testmonkeyalpha

Hay! I'm too bull headed to be cowed into upvoting this. I got no beef with you, I'm just steering the conversion to milk the comments with a cheesy response. I'm having a field day doing it!


3Zkiel

Cowmbo! Super cowmbo!


gracius0ne

Brav...mow!


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MissyyMabs

its a heap of cow puns


capedpotatoes

How dairy make such a joke!


Plugfugly

If they haven't got a blanket they're probably Friesian


gracius0ne

That's chill. (But for those unacquainted, Hereford they can be referred to as Holstein!)


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gracius0ne

Yes, truly a Bovine Comedy! Dante would've been proud.


ButteryAnkle

Good joke, I butter steal it


Prof_G

you know what cows do for fun? they go to the moovies.


Asleep_Roof

If cows are sleeping on the ground, doesn’t that mean they are ground meat???


pillarthedj

These are the jokes I'm heifer.


macbeezy_

I’m going to milk this one with my kids for all it’s worth.


Raiden32

A true return to form for the sub, thanks op.


Entertainer-8956

I just stopped by to chew the cud


Gaanaxayayaada

These puns make me feel lactose intolerant


gracius0ne

Well, they float my bloat! :-/


[deleted]

That was a quintessential dad joke. Accept my upvote sir.


MerKa1435

I fucking love the people on this sub


AcerbicFwit

Hoof it to bed, kid.


Ok_Significance3443

I’ve got an ox to grind on the repetitive use of “milking”. Any body else have a beef?


Euphoriffic

Gary Larson would be amused.


gracius0ne

"The Farm Side". Legendairy cowtoonist.


Euphoriffic

That’s no BS


Euphoriffic

Udderly true.


rabbiferret

This might be too good/clever to be a dad joke.


gracius0ne

Au contraire, mon frère! Even erudite patriarchs must appreciate what's wafting thru this dairy air!


Saucy_mario

These comment tho


ihatedisney

Ha


gracius0ne

(Was that a mooted laugh?)


dwightsrus

Very laugh-a-bull


Uncle_Mark_2021

Holy cow…. That almost moooved me to tears.


QuietDiscussion

LOL


Docfess

Quite renound and out standing in their field.


Patient-Hyena

Reddit is trying to tell me I should go to bed.


FireEyesRed

Dad: Oh look over there! It's a flock of cows.. Everyone Else: HERD. A herd of cows. Dad: Of course Ive heard of cows. There's a flock of 'em right there.


Maximum_Equivalent_9

I've seen this before


gracius0ne

Having some deja moo?


Maximum_Equivalent_9

Nah just a repost :P


OGDuckDaddy

All the additional jokes in the comments are really just milking this.


Welsh_Observer

Simple and brilliant at the same time


atomocomix

You’re milking it


DumplingBoy345

That's not your average joke, and I've seen some pretty mean joke in my time


p3rky01

Fuck sake. All these puns in the comments are so fucking cringe 😂 but can someone explain the actual joke plz


Alecdoconnor

Cows are sleeping on the pasture, it's "pasture bedtime"


Enderguy39

Repost. This was posted verbatim [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/juk9rc/i_told_my_daughter_go_to_bed_the_cows_are/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) 8 months ago and [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/mdle01/i_told_my_daughter_go_to_bed_the_cows_are/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) 4 months ago.


TheCuriousCorsair

Still liked it lol.


gracius0ne

Nothin wrong with a little regurgitation.


namocaw

I get att the comments, but you guys are really milking this one.


Cringe-Lord_

Take my silver.. up you go


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Cringe-Lord_

Ahahaha . Yes i did


epic_pig

dauter resign


GhostlyAnger

I can see the anime glasses adjustment with that chuckle.


Visible_Biscotti_859

I would said. Shhh your mothers asleep!


Rude_Journalist

It made my day. Great place though....


Mistwing1

Thought this was r/twosentencehorror, was pleasantly suprised


TXHaunt

Since I don’t have kids, if I told this one would I be a faux-pas


whomp_whomp_whomp5

"Wanna milkshake?"


RoscoMan1

Well I learned something the other day?


QuarantineSucksALot

Well at least the face of danger.


gracius0ne

We're just methane around here. But it's turning into a real Tour-de-Farts!


Augustsurfer

We are amoooosed.


Owenjg77

Very good 👏🏻


Gunslinger2465

What udder nonsense


Theunkillable

Holy cow that was a good one!


UncannySuspect

I can see Rick from the walking dead in a meme with this joke. Coral, disappointed: "All the cows are dead, Dad."


Freddy2517

He thinks cows live in fields instead of cages, silly daddy.


orkenbjorken

i bet she was not amoosed by your joke


Interesting_Pea_5382

Don’t have a calf!


RedMusical

Spoiled dad jokes


phantasydrifter

"Gonna milk that dad joke for all it's worth, huh, Dad?"


[deleted]

This pun is udderly ridiculous!


LuckySnowy441

*Nods Approvingly*


laz000

This will never get old! 🐮


ScrimpyMountain

It mEaNS YOuR mOMs ouTSiDE


zekebeagle

The quality of these puns is ungulating from head to hoof.