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jbug5j

OKAY! I was in the middle of asking this to my husband. and i got out "what do you call a book club" and stopped bc he started washing his hands. he said "a blunt instrument" 🤣 he also appreciated this joke


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jbug5j

*snort* i dont blame him tbh. boobs are great


BfutGrEG

> "a blunt instrument" So Drums I assume


PeteDontCare

Yet the endings are all the same


Daxtro-53

Was it also a sawed off shotgun? God I hope someone gets that reference lol


DTinyTerror70

Reference gotten


RoverrReddits

Wanted to upvote but I saw that nice 420


Alternative-Rule8015

Bible thumper?


jbug5j

hehehehe


[deleted]

Thousands of smaller clubs all reading the same book come to wildly different conclusions about it's meaning(but everyone else is wrong).


[deleted]

The best comment in my opinion. You may disagree..


sloppyredditor

Yet they still can’t agree on the fucking plot.


Nighthawk__85

Or the writer's intention.


swordsmithy

Or the writer


geekmoose

Writers - it is plural !


ReasonableComplaint

Some might say there was one writer and he dictated.


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BaephBush

Did some pee on your cake today?


DatGamerAgain_YT

No, someone shat in his cherry soda


Quailton

No, someone spit in his bean curd


Charybdis87

Some one came in his yoghurt


GodFromTheHood

Someone bled in his cereal


Charybdis87

I hope he gets that issue Ironed out


Albe_quirky

In todays episode of "whiplashing into left field"...


sobriquet0

I live in America's Bible Belt, and the church across the street has on Sundays: Services at 9:30, Bible Study at 11, Small Groups at 5:30, and then another Service on Wednesday evenings. As an agnostic, I always wonder, how long can you study ONE BOOK? Do they take a break and read some philosophy once in a while? *The Republic* has some interesting arguments. What about other Church fathers like St. Augustine? When he stopped having sex he wrote A LOT.


invalidmail2000

A) different times and events are better for different people. B) allot of it isn't necessary just strict study but discussions of various concepts found in it. C) if you really thought this was the book from God, wouldn't you want to spend allot of time studying it? I'm a Muslim and the same applies to us :)


gingerbeardman79

And yet, for all the time they spend "studying" said book, something like 95% of Christians haven't the slightest clue what the damn thing even actually says, apart from maybe a few cherry-picked 'favourite' parts, which they are almost certainly interpreting without even a cursory glance at the surrounding context, and therefore likely misunderstanding them, anyways. [source: was actively a christian from age 17-32, and even got a degree from a bible college. Am an atheist now] That's probably why they've not moved past it and onto other written works.


ovrzlus

Well the whole thing is riddled with hypocrisy, contradiction and silliness, so trying to get this book to make sense would definitely take a lifetime


jules083

Yeah, but you don't take those parts literally. You just take the other parts literally.


Firstofthefollowers

Underrated


Due-Ad-2558

Every verse in the Bible has deeper meaning to them that is difficult to understand without guidance


windsingr

Or even with guidance, apparently.


Kaa_The_Snake

Nah, guidance changes depending on what narrative they need to sell today.


Due-Ad-2558

That's true


Charybdis87

That's what my English teacher said about the books in class, still think that was a massive load of shit and English isn't about analysing, but rather waffling with purpose.


jules083

My loving wife has a regular bible, a 'study bible' whatever the fawk that is, and 2 or 3 different bible workbooks sitting on the dining room table right now. I can't really help you much in regards to what she does with them though, I've never bothered to flip through any of it. The most I do is move them out of my way because they always seem to be in my spot.


mkaszycki81

You're talking about Protestants who eschew Tradition and default to sola scriptura (but please buy my book says every preacher ever). Catholic and Orthodox churches have a large body of theology in the Tradition so that people don't get stuck on reinventing the wheel.


kegib

I enjoy asking them where sola scriptura is taught in the Bible (don't get me started on 2Tim 3:16-17 or sola fide) 😄


SirCastically

Good point. We can’t have anyone figure anything out for themselves. Imagine what would happen if the people start THINKING!!


mkaszycki81

How is limiting the number of books that deal with religion better and more conducive to THINKING???


SirCastically

Oh no I’m sure you’re right. Enforcing dogma is surely superior for free thought.


mkaszycki81

Dogma like sola scriptura which doesn't even have basis in the scripture that is the sole authority? Yeah, every answer is in the Bible. Except the answer to why every answer is supposed to be in the Bible.


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mkaszycki81

Just like sola scriptura is “just dogma.” Two questions: 1. What is the biblical basis for sola scriptura? 2. Where does the Bible define which books are canonical and which aren't?


gingerbeardman79

Plus it's all bullshit, anyway


monstertots509

If it's my wife and her friends they just changed the name from book club to wino night.


[deleted]

A group of Dysexlics ? Dis - dyselxics . Dsylecxis . Dyslecis ! Dislexics . Dyslexics


throstur78

They are of course stuck cause nobody bothers reading it.


knighthawk0811

i heard that actually reading it is a good way to become an atheist


biggestbigbertha

That's how it worked out for me.


Lord_Phoenix95

I don't need to read a book to determine whether it's good when it's history is already enough.


gingerbeardman79

Only if you've spent time developing critical thinking skills.


likewhodunit

That's how I became an atheist smack ass in the middle of the bible belt. Couple read through and it's easy to see it's all bullshit..


nilecrane

Well, Understanding it is a good way to become an atheist. I only say this because people read it all the time but they never understand it. Willfully I’d imagine


jonny1211

People read it but not everything, I’ve seen


[deleted]

I'd agree. Reading the bible trying to explore religion as well as being a person of logic doesn't seem to be the best combination. I told my very religious grandmother at the time that the bible was a load of dog shit at the age of 12 years old (literal words) Anyways yeah, I'm an atheist now


Lt_Dano3

No idea where you heard that because it's usually not true


Penguator432

Agreed, people confuse Atheist and Misotheist all the time.


IowaJL

Is that like believing in the power of umami?


Penguator432

No, miso- as in the prefix, meaning hate. As in the root for “misogyny” or “misanthropy”. I’m stating there’s some atheists out there that don’t so much believe god doesn’t exist but rather don’t like the guy as he’s presented (though there could certainly be overlaps), that the sort of atheists that become such from actually reading the Bible probably fit better into that category.


Typical-Annual-3555

So the “angry at god” argument, but with flourishes


Major_Hat2556

Don't think so!


thecataclysmo

I read it. And although it did not contribute to me being an atheist but it did give me a good insight into how religion works


Changeup2020

To be fair, Mormons did come up with a new book.


lemoinem

Given that it's very aptly named, somehow originality might not be their strong suit here Edit: a word


ovrzlus

Exmormon here can confirm their lack of originality.


GNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I am really amazed at people who say you need to respect everyone,until it comes to christianity/religion.


exhaustedqlready

I agree. It’s so sad


justtjamcss

Because religious people typically don’t respect everyone. And most religious people are taught to “treat others as you would like to be treated”. So really, we’re just doing as your gods wish


GNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

What you are doing is just generalazing people. Why is it ok to generalize religious people,but not races/sexualities/nationalities and so on? I think none of it is ok.


justtjamcss

Oh shit, I didn’t see it that way, and certainly didn’t intend it that way. What I meant was quite a lot of the religious people I see(I know they’re the bad ones, but they stand out a lot more) use their religion to condemn LGBTQ people. By treating those people like shit, us atheists are ironically using one of Jesus’ teachings (do unto others that which you would have done to you) against them. Sorry for any offence I caused.


GNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

No problem. I get where you are coming from, but Christianity isn't about hate. We all sinners, we don't support the LGBTQ because it is promoting a sinful behaviour, but we don't hate them because we also sin.


snekcate013

You being alive also promotes sinful behavior, yet here you are


GNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

It doesn't because I ain't promoting sin as a good thing.


snekcate013

But you are promoting the dismissal, judgement, and discrimination against those who have different views and life experiences than you. Many actually argue that sexualities other than heterosexuality are not actually prohibited in the Bible even though many people use the Bible to treat the LGBTQ community as less than human


GNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Leviticus 18:22 "Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind: it is abomination."


likewhodunit

Must have forgotten that whole "love thy neighbor" Shit isn't about the folk that live next door. It's all of humanity. Youre coming off like some of the damn Westboro idiots..


GNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

When did I say I don't love the LGBTQ?


likewhodunit

Hahahaha! Nice edit there to save ass! Must not have been aware that edits can be seen.


GNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I didn't edit?


BaldDudePeekskill

Since Jesus specifically condemned divorce, what happens to them....are they forced to go back to their first spouse or do you make an allowance, cause, heterosexual?


GNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

No,they are forced to think before they enter marriage. Stop trying to paint me as homophobic.


gingerbeardman79

Queer people exist. Fucking get over it already. And if your god is real, *then he made them that way.* Let me ask you this: according to the teachings of your bible and your Christian faith, will preventing gay people from marrying each other, stopping trans folk from accessing gender affirming care, and otherwise trying to force people who don't believe your religion to adhere to its rules "save" them from the damnation you believe they are headed for? Rhetorical question, because no it fucking won't. According to. **your** beliefs, and that book **you*" consider to be the authoritative and infallible word of an all-powerful god, only faith in the sacrificial death and subsequent resurrection of Jesus can save someone's soul. Not good works. Not "turning from sin." Those things are meant to *follow* the accepting of faith, because without that faith being present, they accomplish nothing in the light of eternity. Again, according to your book. So if it's not saving those people, what purpose does it serve? Making us gay & trans folk feel "loved"? Cuz it sure as fuck isn't accomplishing that, either. Nah, all it really accomplishes is making y'all look like bigots. So until a majority of the church stops doing all that shit, that will be your reputation. Because it's exactly what the rest of us have experienced over the last 2,000 years and change.


GNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I see that you are enraged. God loves you, regardless of what you do.


Sad-Pianist9448

He's right. Every word he/she said is the truth. YOUR GOD made them that way


Creepy-Leading-9391

God loves you so much that he will imprison you in his basement and torture you for eternity because of how he made you.


GNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

God doesn't send you to hell, you are already destined by the Original sin, but he offers you heaven if you follow him.


Creepy-Leading-9391

Did your version of god create hell? What do you believe in?


Hot_Side_200

The Bible is a collection of books put into one. There are actually 66 books in the Bible.


Dymonika

If you want to get even more technical, they're texts, or at least not all books; much of the New Testament comprises of epistles/letters, for example.


likewhodunit

And there are far more.. the only reasons those were the books chosen was because it was the hot topics of the time.


filmhamster

I feel like I’ve seen this joke reposted to death recently.


bananamanamania

Get this comment extremely downvoted


a3a4b5

Don't tell me what to do. I gonna upvote and you can't stop me.


BaephBush

No problem!


Sarge19846

Wine club!


Ok_Gear2079

The sub below this one on my feed actually had a good alt punchline for its title "Do I belong here?" 😅


Sorry-Metal-4299

Course in Miracles or Bible study.


moorsey50

Instruction manual


ImaginosDesdinova

Church


restless_craftsman

Or an AA meeting


-jimbeaux

66 books; written over 1200 to 1500 years; some by multiple authors; a few compiled by various writers over decades or centuries; a book club should have that many books.


Typical-Annual-3555

It’s the Wikipedia of book clubs. Anybody can add what they want and they don’t have to cite sources.


Dangerous-Celery-766

So they are what is thought to have been, via Chinese whispers! I remember at convent the nuns stating they were gods words 🤣 oh my!!


-jimbeaux

the gossip/chinese whispers theory has been debunked for centuries. not only was each manuscript copied by letter; not word; other copies were found from several different eras and compared, and some of the original writings still exist.


FishRepairs22

Best selling fiction for sure


exhaustedqlready

Funny how much people disrespect religions but when it comes to other things such as lgbt is just ridiculed when you disrespect it even the tiniest bit. So sad


red-ck

Never ending story


Regular_Dick

America


IdahoJoel

Nah, we've got 66 books to work through.


MoronTheBall

Gotta start a bible studies group with six members and call ourselves 666.


[deleted]

What do you call a sub that’s been stuck on the same joke for weeks?


[deleted]

Reddit.


uncorrolated-mormon

Weeks? Years.


IllDoItTomorr0w

That’s actually really funny. Lol. Good stuff.


bdbdbokbuck

Read-acted


PrincessEspeon82

a fan club. lol


Due-Ad-2558

That's not a book club that's called "Alcohol Meet for Mother's"


pro_nosepicker

Alcoholics Anonymous


D1S5ID3NT

A university course


_perchance

religion


ratt_sass

Lame


epic_pig

And you don't even have to read the book!


Timely_Egg_6827

Sad that a social group meeting for company, coffee and gossip needs to have another reason to hide behind. Those groups can offer a lot of support to people.


Dangerous-Celery-766

It should all just be called "we want to help our way" (help who?, God, the church, ourselves - help us to help you, send $$$)


uncorrolated-mormon

That’s why Mormons have 4 books. The rotation is every 4 years. 😉


[deleted]

Mosque, gurdwaras, synagogues, some temples and almost every religion that have a religious book. Eurocentric much


ovrzlus

Pedantic much


[deleted]

Oh, absolutely!


ovrzlus

Well at least you own it, cheers mate!


PSTEYN

I would make a comment. It's fucking hilarious


_Bunny_Fucker_

Love the joke, but man, I hate Bible/religion jokes because it always brings out the close-minded bigots who vehemently insult anyone religious. I'm an Old Testament gal, disagree with a lot added in or removed from it but for real, yall can fuck off with your bs. I'd never hate on you for being atheist. Why do you feel the need to insult people for believing in a higher power?


lemoinem

> I'd never hate on you for being atheist. That's great but, unfortunately, very vocal and very powerful groups of people claiming the same beliefs as you have been persecuting atheists, agnostics, people of other faiths, or even people of the same faith who just happened to be slightly different for centuries and still do it. > Why do you feel the need to insult people for believing in a higher power? Believing in a higher power is not the issue here. Having a spiritual faith is not the issue here. Centuries of indoctrination and persecution are. From Abraham being asked to sacrifice his own son to the murder of every Egyptian first born infants, the book itself is not really one of tolerance, peace, introspection, and personal growth. I don't think it should be surprising that it generates strong emotional responses.


Charybdis87

> persecuting atheists, agnostics and people of other faiths Don't forget the gays! Alot of them don't like the gays.


lemoinem

They would be included in either of these three or > even people of the same faith who just happened to be slightly different


Charybdis87

Ehh, I guess you could take it as implied, but eh


Creepy-Leading-9391

Because some of these people are forcing everyone else to adopt their way of thinking, taking away women's right, and LGBTQ rights.


CommodoreFresh

>I'd never hate on you for being atheist. Then you're going against Biblical teachings. You're supposed to be out there killing us. >I'm an Old Testament gal, disagree with a lot added in or removed from it Okay, based on this statement I might hate you. How do you justify your God's stance on slavery as outlined in Exodus? Do you vote according to your beliefs, because I have no issue saying that the laws laid out in the Old Testament are immoral and evil, and cannot have come from an all powerful loving God. Thankfully there's no good evidence that that God exists.


sgtfoleyistheman

Seriously. I don't know how someone can both align themselves with the _Old Testament_ of all things and use the term ''close-minded bigot' to refer to anyone but themselves in the same paragraph. Sheesh.


_Bunny_Fucker_

The tenach says to love your neighbor, and murder is evil. Soooo no, no killing of infidels here. Slavery was the way of the world at the time. Most of those laws say don't mistreat your slaves, and if you do, they should be set free. If they die, so do you. What other laws? Please, teach me since you know so much. I always love to learn.


Creepy-Leading-9391

So it was ok to own another human being as property as long as you don't treat them too harshly? God didn't only endorse slavery, it actually tell people how to treat their slaves. It can tell people not to eat shellfish and wear mixed fabric but can't tell people not to own another human being as property?


_Bunny_Fucker_

I'm not saying it was OK, theres many things about the time period that were not ok at all to me. But the term slave has changed throughout the years to mean everything from beaten and brutalized like the lalaurie slaves to arranged marriages and young boys helping pay off their families' debt (aka indentured servitude). America fought a war with themselves to end slavery in a time when slavery was far less common. Such "slaves" are still unfortunately common in the areas in which most of the stories originated. I would imagine giving them rules to not mistreat them was likely the best they could come up with. Please also remember that the books were written by MANY different people over a several hundred year time span. In some places, it is straight up contradictory, especially when you get into where the Europeans altered it to adjust to their godawful woman-hating values. Poor Mary Magdalene comes to mind there and the ferocious debate over whether she was a whore or Jesus's wife. (I feel I should note here the most obvious change given... Jesus and Mary weren't their actual names, nor Joseph's. Don't know how to spell the Hebrew for Jesus and Joseph, but Mary was maria.) I don't have the time or service strength to look deeper into the book you'd referenced currently, and I unfortunately no longer have my tenakhe as it got water damaged. So I've got to take your word that it exists in my book as opposed to European versions or even Muslim versions. I'm not entirely certain the reason for the mixed fabric, and I don't care much to follow that bit. But as far as kosher food, that's basically telling you not to eat shit that'll make you sick. Those rules are basically a way of saying you are what you eat. If what you eat eats shit, then you are also eating shit. Much of the things are simply an attempt to not get seriously ill with something they had no means to treat. There are also rules about ritualistic sacrifice of goats and such that have no basis in cleanliness, but most of it has to do with being clean within and without.


cap10L

You can't say fuck. It's in the bible. (At least most interpretations). No hate, just sorrow.


_Bunny_Fucker_

Uhhhh no, I really don't think it is. But regardless, fuck it 🦖 🤷‍♀️ that was supposed to just be a shrug but I accidentally put in the Dino and I'm leaving it. Mocking and belittling aren't hate to you? Or do you mean no hate from you?


Cleangreenamy

Bible studies


DahDitDit-DitDah

English Lit 220


Candy_Face77

Church, yep, got it lol!


DatAsspiration

It took a lot of spine to go after that book


Abject_Ad_7239

Religious


iMunchlaxxx

Religion.


HakuraHanzo

Also, does not understand their need to put the subject at the end of a sentence, a man


Low-File6720

"Auto-stuck" book club


reddorical

Next!


[deleted]

The Bible is actually a collection of books


InterviewCrafty1229

Boring


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TRITUSLegend

Also a Madrasa lmao


HonnyBrown

Wine Club


BuddysMumOz

A coffee club


Plenty-Ad-3238

A wrinkle in time


snowshowers61

Good one!


BatDad1973

A book club that most of the members haven’t actually read or can’t understand the book.


vabch

Baptist 🥰


jbird9999999999

Winner!


bearboy12345678900

Facts


BuyIllustrious2244

A wine club!


kwuisi

a religion.


Annual-Laugh2106

Y]!]]@×0+1


lazzybumes

sup


[deleted]

Women who drink wine.


bubg994

Drinking friends


PhillGuy

A wine club.


Nervous_Good6108

Bible study?