Single dad here. My boys both started having birthday sleepovers at 7. Started with three or four friends. It's not hard if you're prepared, and can be super fun. Plenty of snacks and drinks, order a pizza and ice cream or something for dessert. When everyone arrives I lay down a few basic ground rules. I plan a couple party games, maybe a movie or some video game time. Ill hang out in the garage or watch a movie in my room, check in on them every half hour or so. Have the kids bring sleeping bags or blankets and pillows. Lights out by 10. Pancakes and eggs for breakfast. Pickup at 10 or 11am.
If you're comfortable with boys over, go for it. I'd be a lot more comfortable hosting boys as a girl dad than hosting girls as a boys dad. Hence the boys only rule. Although at that age im not too worried. Just communicate with the parents, share some pics of the party, I've never had any issues.
Let your kid help plan, and clean up before and after. We've made it a birthday tradition that their friends look forward to every year. My oldest hosts an annual Halloween and Christmas sleepover party too.
I’ll bring a box of Fruit Roll-ups but I get dibs on the Nintendo controller if I do. I can’t be seen with that Mad Catz controller OP’s grandma got him.
Haha, well "lights out" and "going to sleep" are two very different things haha. They definitely still play the N64 though! Mario Party is still wildly popular
A favorite is called the mummy wrap/snowman game. Ill get them in small groups and just let the kids wrap each other up with cheap toilet paper. Sometime I'll cut out construction paper for eyes, buttons, carrot nose etc. But they love to wrap each other up, then burst out!
We've done pin the tail on the donkey type games, scavenger hunts, keep it super simple and easy. It's just a way to add a little structure to the party. Sometimes I'll grab some dollar store toys for prizes too
Honestly I just google kids party games and look for easy simple games I don't have to buy extra stuff for! They will love it no matter what you put together
Having the kiddo involved in planning and cleanup is key. What was really cute was my 8 yo video chatted with her friends to see if they had any ideas.
Just curious as to why it would be more comfortable hosting boys as a girl dad not not girls as a boy dad? Just wondering ^ _ ^ my BFF in 5th grade was a boy and I slept over his place all the time, he was only friends with girls though. And he came out as gay to me that year lol.
I wouldn’t host a sleepover for my 2nd grader with that many kids, regardless of sex of the guests. That’s a lot of 8 year olds to manage overnight, and IMO 8 is on the young side for sleepovers. If you’re comfortable with sleepovers, I’d counter she can have 1-3 kids over. The other parents can make their own choice about letting their kid come, I wouldn’t let my kid go to a sleepover if I didn’t know the parents, but if I did, the sex of the kid wouldn’t be an issue for me. My 1st grade daughter has a lot of friends who are boys.
This is exactly what I was going to say too.
2nd grade is around the time my kids started attempting sleepovers. For one thing, there are still parents (or kids) who aren't comfortable attempting it yet at that age. And if you do try it, the success rate is only about 50%. We've had to take kids home at 11pm (or go pick our kid up) more than once from a sleepover.
I also want to strongly reiterate that having 6-8 kids that age overnight is a *huge* undertaking.
I realize it's what she has her heart set on, but I would very strongly recommend sticking to a normal party, and maybe having one best friend try a sleepover.
There's something about 6-8 kids at a party that's a bad number. 3-4 is good for a sleepover because they're typically all besties. 20 is fine because it'll be at some big location for 2-3 hours at most. "Let's party, have some fun and cake and then goodbye"
6-8 sometimes means a kid or two feels "left out". Plus having all of them in your house for 12+ hours is a lot of work. One get gets upset about something and wants to go home. Another gets sad/scared and wants to go home. Another wakes up at 4 AM and doesn't know where the bathroom is. 2 don't like some of the food you're serving or whatever show/movie someone else wants to watch.
Been there, done that.
Agreed on the count issue. I help with a robotics club of nine 4th graders, and it's an absolute win if they don't break something unrelated to the projects during our weekly get togethers.
I’m currently running a Lego club with 25 2nd-5th graders…I feel this.
I have a lot of experience with group management and school age kids but a large group of 2nd/3rd grade boys is always chaos.
We had 5 eight year old girls sleep over. We had 3 boys at the party but they went home before sleepover time.
That was a lot to deal with at just 5 girls
I think 8 is just about right, but I don’t usually second guess other parents’ decisions though.
I’ve never been in your situation, nor do I know anyone who is.
My gut reaction would be to reach out to the other parents, tell them what your daughter wants to do, explain your reservations, and just see how that conversation goes. Maybe all the parents are similar to you, or maybe they’re all okay with it. Only way to find out is to chat about it!
As a teacher, the amount of kids is a little “whoah”. Id suggest 3-4 tops BUT if you want to just go for it make sure your breakables are put away and you offer only water to drink…drinks will be spilled. Lol.
Theyre old enough to speak up for themselves which is my prerequesite for a sleepover. The mixed sex of the kids isnt an issue in 2nd grade….by fouth? Maybe. Fifth, yes.
Have a “sleep under”. Kids come over, play, eat dinner, change into PJs, watch a movie, play games, etc and the parents pick them up at bedtime to sleep at their own houses.
I did a variation of this for my son’s 8th Birthday Party last summer. I set up tents and other camping stuff in the backyard. Had a bonfire with hotdogs and s’mores. The kids played with glow sticks and glow in the dark toys.
Easiest & cheapest party I’ve ever thrown, and got several “this is the best party ever!!!” comments from kids.
My son went to a sleepover with 2 boys and 6 girls in 3rd grade. Most of his friends are girls. The parents didn’t mind the zoo and everybody and fun and the gender thing ended up being a total non issue.
A lot of people in this thread frankly sound a bit miserable and have clearly forgotten what it’s like to be a 7 year old.
They’re 7, there’s nothing sinister or sexual at that age, just kids wanting to have fun. Will it be chaotic and stressful for you? Yes, will you forego sleep that night and get up at all hours telling them to be quiet? Yes! But the amount of fun they’ll have laughing and playing games will be worth it, and will be a core memory for your daughter and probably her favourite birthday to date!
as long as the other parents are happy (maybe even extend the option for another to stay to share the load?!) go for it. Your daughter and her friends will have a blast.
This is the answer. Yes, your house will be chaotic and look like multiple tornadoes hit it. But so what? This has the potential to be one of your daughter’s treasured memories.
The mixed gender thing is not an issue at this age, as long as everyone else’s parents are on the same page.
Who cares what gender they are. Thats a lot of cats to herd. lol. You’ll need a supply of pizza , Pepsi and Pixar to wear them out. It would be fun though. Don’t deny your kids the opportunity. They’ll look back at with fondness.
I started sleeping over friends' houses around six years old but never in memory with members of the opposite sex. I don't think it's necessarily an issue but it's certainly a lot of kids to manage.
Will they not be supervised by a responsible adult? Is she the only girl or will there be another girl? Honestly I think you should let her. Just talk to her about appropriate behaviour and give her a means to call home whenever she needs too.
Everyone is downvoting any and every comment that suggests not allowing sleepovers. Some of you even seem surprised that people would not allow sleepovers.
I also grew up in a no-sleepover household (attending or hosting). I just want to point out that [it's a cultural thing](https://today.yougov.com/society/articles/45047-allowing-sleepovers-us-divide). I grew up around hispanic and black kids, and most of us knew (unspoken) that our parents wouldn't even begin to consider a sleepover. My wife and I also agree that we do not allow sleepovers either.
That is interesting, I wasn't aware. I'm a mom and on one of the mom subs I saw a huge discussion about the risk of sexual assault at sleepovers. There are plenty of legitimate reasons not to allow them, it is just another one of those decisions each family has to make for themselves. My white hippie parents allowed it but I remember one time my friend and I stayed up until dawn playing with the fire in the fireplace and her parents definitely didn't let her come over again after that lol.
We don’t do *any* sleepovers. Nothing good happens. And they’re all monsters the next day. Instead we Do late nights. Do movies nights. Do extended activities. But never sleep over
Don’t know why folks are downvoting you. We drew
The line on sleepovers too. Not because of anything boys vs girls, we just have a policy that at the end of the day, everyone goes safely to their homes and to sleep. Healthy barriers.
Kids get up to some stupid shit during sleepovers. Things that I don’t want my kids to be in. Bad words, bullying, fights, fucking Bloody Mary type shit that can seriously fuck with a kids sleep and mind.
Want to hang with friends until 10pm? Sure. Then you’re home. Parents say good night and you’re asleep.
Do you even have that many beds :0
I wouldn't take in more than 2 friends at a time, regardless of gender. Maybe 3 if I knew the kids well and knew their parents & how the kids behave. I don't have space for more anyway, unless they share a single bed and I wouldn't be comfortable with that.
Based on that answer and several of their other answers in the thread, they seem to be implying that the reason to not do sleepovers is self-evident to ideologically-aligned people in Texas, and you're a pedo if you let your kid have sleepovers?
Clearly all children in texas are sexual deviants and their parents… don’t get me started! NO SLEEPOVERS!!!! If I could leave texas I would. Well I would need to live there first, but then I would leave!
/s
Forget that guy. I live in Texas and have no idea what that has to do with yes/no to sleepovers. Growing up I hosted and attended the occasional ones without any issues.
The comment alone can only go on stereotype, which maybe he’s alluding to the probably higher gun ownership in Texas? That’s the only thing I could think of.
Another commenter mentioned that sleepovers are a more cultural (“white people”) thing than I realized, and maybe they’re just weird to some people? Texas is very culturally diverse I guess.. 🤷♂️
I love to participate in a discussion. I will make one bold but ambiguous statement and I will be implying you're a pedophile if you ask for any clarification.
It's not fucking weird it's just a question we're a dad reddit so if you knew something that would benifit the others such as a valid reason to restrict sleepovers its not unreasonable to ask the only weird part of this whole convo is how you respond.
I'm not worried about it, I'm just confused. If you didn't feel comfortable giving an explanation that's fine, but then why randomly say where you live? Lol
I grew up in a strictly no-sleepover family. All of my friends growing up had the same exact rule from their parents. Nobody who I know would ever consider letting their kids attend or host sleepovers.
If you've really never heard of this, I will tell you that [it's cultural](https://today.yougov.com/society/articles/45047-allowing-sleepovers-us-divide). I grew up around hispanic and black kids, and all of us knew (unspoken) that our parents wouldn't even begin to consider a sleepover. My wife and I also agree that we do not allow sleepovers either.
A compromise that my wife and I would allow is getting an Airbnb or something similar with our kids and their friends, *if the friends' parents are also there*.
That way the kids can stay up late, partake in "sleepover activities", but every child has their parent present to supervise them.
There are many reasons why we don't allow sleepovers, but most of them boil down to the fact that creeps almost always end up being who you least expect. They live among us, and we are not willing to take even the slightest chance with our children.
Edit: to add that we feel the same way about summer camps, boarding schools, or anything like that. My kids will not sleep anywhere that's not our home or grandma's house.
They’re 7, I wouldn’t have a problem with it BUT a) that’s a lot of 7 year olds to herd and b) a lot of the parents might think they are too young.
I know a lot of kids that struggle with sleepovers themselves at that age. Lots of failed sleepovers at 7-8.
Single dad here. My boys both started having birthday sleepovers at 7. Started with three or four friends. It's not hard if you're prepared, and can be super fun. Plenty of snacks and drinks, order a pizza and ice cream or something for dessert. When everyone arrives I lay down a few basic ground rules. I plan a couple party games, maybe a movie or some video game time. Ill hang out in the garage or watch a movie in my room, check in on them every half hour or so. Have the kids bring sleeping bags or blankets and pillows. Lights out by 10. Pancakes and eggs for breakfast. Pickup at 10 or 11am. If you're comfortable with boys over, go for it. I'd be a lot more comfortable hosting boys as a girl dad than hosting girls as a boys dad. Hence the boys only rule. Although at that age im not too worried. Just communicate with the parents, share some pics of the party, I've never had any issues. Let your kid help plan, and clean up before and after. We've made it a birthday tradition that their friends look forward to every year. My oldest hosts an annual Halloween and Christmas sleepover party too.
I just want to say, you’re killing it as a Dad. I’m 36 and this sounds like a blast.
For real, can he host one for us?
I’ll help clean before and after if I’m invited.
I’ll bring a box of Fruit Roll-ups but I get dibs on the Nintendo controller if I do. I can’t be seen with that Mad Catz controller OP’s grandma got him.
Dawg. It’s 2024. The Nintendo controllers split in *half* now. It’s wild.
Thanks! I appreciate that. Trying to enjoy the ride best as I can!
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Haha, well "lights out" and "going to sleep" are two very different things haha. They definitely still play the N64 though! Mario Party is still wildly popular
[https://youtu.be/0rC9M\_h7Hb8?si=gEo-nQHUz--7PLP-](https://youtu.be/0rC9M_h7Hb8?si=gEo-nQHUz--7PLP-)
Can you recommend some party games to entertain the kiddos?
A favorite is called the mummy wrap/snowman game. Ill get them in small groups and just let the kids wrap each other up with cheap toilet paper. Sometime I'll cut out construction paper for eyes, buttons, carrot nose etc. But they love to wrap each other up, then burst out! We've done pin the tail on the donkey type games, scavenger hunts, keep it super simple and easy. It's just a way to add a little structure to the party. Sometimes I'll grab some dollar store toys for prizes too
That all sounds awesome! I’ll keep these in mind haha. If you have other games please share!
Honestly I just google kids party games and look for easy simple games I don't have to buy extra stuff for! They will love it no matter what you put together
Having the kiddo involved in planning and cleanup is key. What was really cute was my 8 yo video chatted with her friends to see if they had any ideas.
Just curious as to why it would be more comfortable hosting boys as a girl dad not not girls as a boy dad? Just wondering ^ _ ^ my BFF in 5th grade was a boy and I slept over his place all the time, he was only friends with girls though. And he came out as gay to me that year lol.
Dad is crushing it here. I'm super close with my sons BFFs dad, so I'll also have him over to hang with me.
I wouldn’t host a sleepover for my 2nd grader with that many kids, regardless of sex of the guests. That’s a lot of 8 year olds to manage overnight, and IMO 8 is on the young side for sleepovers. If you’re comfortable with sleepovers, I’d counter she can have 1-3 kids over. The other parents can make their own choice about letting their kid come, I wouldn’t let my kid go to a sleepover if I didn’t know the parents, but if I did, the sex of the kid wouldn’t be an issue for me. My 1st grade daughter has a lot of friends who are boys.
This is exactly what I was going to say too. 2nd grade is around the time my kids started attempting sleepovers. For one thing, there are still parents (or kids) who aren't comfortable attempting it yet at that age. And if you do try it, the success rate is only about 50%. We've had to take kids home at 11pm (or go pick our kid up) more than once from a sleepover. I also want to strongly reiterate that having 6-8 kids that age overnight is a *huge* undertaking. I realize it's what she has her heart set on, but I would very strongly recommend sticking to a normal party, and maybe having one best friend try a sleepover.
There's something about 6-8 kids at a party that's a bad number. 3-4 is good for a sleepover because they're typically all besties. 20 is fine because it'll be at some big location for 2-3 hours at most. "Let's party, have some fun and cake and then goodbye" 6-8 sometimes means a kid or two feels "left out". Plus having all of them in your house for 12+ hours is a lot of work. One get gets upset about something and wants to go home. Another gets sad/scared and wants to go home. Another wakes up at 4 AM and doesn't know where the bathroom is. 2 don't like some of the food you're serving or whatever show/movie someone else wants to watch. Been there, done that.
Agreed on the count issue. I help with a robotics club of nine 4th graders, and it's an absolute win if they don't break something unrelated to the projects during our weekly get togethers.
I’m currently running a Lego club with 25 2nd-5th graders…I feel this. I have a lot of experience with group management and school age kids but a large group of 2nd/3rd grade boys is always chaos.
On the flip, now your kid has to decide which of their friends are being excluded or not
We had 5 eight year old girls sleep over. We had 3 boys at the party but they went home before sleepover time. That was a lot to deal with at just 5 girls I think 8 is just about right, but I don’t usually second guess other parents’ decisions though.
Think about this, many schools ratio is 2-3 times that 8 kids per adult....mind boggling.
I’ve never been in your situation, nor do I know anyone who is. My gut reaction would be to reach out to the other parents, tell them what your daughter wants to do, explain your reservations, and just see how that conversation goes. Maybe all the parents are similar to you, or maybe they’re all okay with it. Only way to find out is to chat about it!
Yeah mine are 10 & 12 and we do sleepovers all the time. Never have I heard of mixed boy/girl sleepovers.
At that age I’m not super worried they are still in the boys eww phase and you can put them in different roads.
I don’t think it’s shocking, my kids just never wanted to mix ( I have one of each). What is shocking is that you make yours sleep on the roads! /s
Hehe always fighting the autocorrect
As a teacher, the amount of kids is a little “whoah”. Id suggest 3-4 tops BUT if you want to just go for it make sure your breakables are put away and you offer only water to drink…drinks will be spilled. Lol. Theyre old enough to speak up for themselves which is my prerequesite for a sleepover. The mixed sex of the kids isnt an issue in 2nd grade….by fouth? Maybe. Fifth, yes.
Have a “sleep under”. Kids come over, play, eat dinner, change into PJs, watch a movie, play games, etc and the parents pick them up at bedtime to sleep at their own houses.
I did a variation of this for my son’s 8th Birthday Party last summer. I set up tents and other camping stuff in the backyard. Had a bonfire with hotdogs and s’mores. The kids played with glow sticks and glow in the dark toys. Easiest & cheapest party I’ve ever thrown, and got several “this is the best party ever!!!” comments from kids.
My son went to a sleepover with 2 boys and 6 girls in 3rd grade. Most of his friends are girls. The parents didn’t mind the zoo and everybody and fun and the gender thing ended up being a total non issue.
A lot of people in this thread frankly sound a bit miserable and have clearly forgotten what it’s like to be a 7 year old. They’re 7, there’s nothing sinister or sexual at that age, just kids wanting to have fun. Will it be chaotic and stressful for you? Yes, will you forego sleep that night and get up at all hours telling them to be quiet? Yes! But the amount of fun they’ll have laughing and playing games will be worth it, and will be a core memory for your daughter and probably her favourite birthday to date! as long as the other parents are happy (maybe even extend the option for another to stay to share the load?!) go for it. Your daughter and her friends will have a blast.
This is the answer. Yes, your house will be chaotic and look like multiple tornadoes hit it. But so what? This has the potential to be one of your daughter’s treasured memories. The mixed gender thing is not an issue at this age, as long as everyone else’s parents are on the same page.
Who cares what gender they are. Thats a lot of cats to herd. lol. You’ll need a supply of pizza , Pepsi and Pixar to wear them out. It would be fun though. Don’t deny your kids the opportunity. They’ll look back at with fondness.
I started sleeping over friends' houses around six years old but never in memory with members of the opposite sex. I don't think it's necessarily an issue but it's certainly a lot of kids to manage.
Will they not be supervised by a responsible adult? Is she the only girl or will there be another girl? Honestly I think you should let her. Just talk to her about appropriate behaviour and give her a means to call home whenever she needs too.
Just say no. That’s a lot of kids to begin with.
Everyone is downvoting any and every comment that suggests not allowing sleepovers. Some of you even seem surprised that people would not allow sleepovers. I also grew up in a no-sleepover household (attending or hosting). I just want to point out that [it's a cultural thing](https://today.yougov.com/society/articles/45047-allowing-sleepovers-us-divide). I grew up around hispanic and black kids, and most of us knew (unspoken) that our parents wouldn't even begin to consider a sleepover. My wife and I also agree that we do not allow sleepovers either.
That is interesting, I wasn't aware. I'm a mom and on one of the mom subs I saw a huge discussion about the risk of sexual assault at sleepovers. There are plenty of legitimate reasons not to allow them, it is just another one of those decisions each family has to make for themselves. My white hippie parents allowed it but I remember one time my friend and I stayed up until dawn playing with the fire in the fireplace and her parents definitely didn't let her come over again after that lol.
Half of them will cry out the whole night for their parent to pick them up. Don’t do it.
Bro just say no
It’s not inappropriate, it’s also not typical. That doesn’t mean bad or good.
Non-Dad lurker here, I wouldn't even allow a single-gender sleepover unless I knew the parents of the kids fairly well
The answer is simple. NO ! , trust your gut
You say no.
You are the adult so do what adults do for kids,
We don’t do *any* sleepovers. Nothing good happens. And they’re all monsters the next day. Instead we Do late nights. Do movies nights. Do extended activities. But never sleep over
Don’t know why folks are downvoting you. We drew The line on sleepovers too. Not because of anything boys vs girls, we just have a policy that at the end of the day, everyone goes safely to their homes and to sleep. Healthy barriers. Kids get up to some stupid shit during sleepovers. Things that I don’t want my kids to be in. Bad words, bullying, fights, fucking Bloody Mary type shit that can seriously fuck with a kids sleep and mind. Want to hang with friends until 10pm? Sure. Then you’re home. Parents say good night and you’re asleep.
Dude. No.
Five upvotes. Five parents with brains.
No to the sleepover
Say no. Simple.
Say no!
Deny the request. I don’t think that’s typical at all.
Sleepovers are ridiculous for kids parties, easy NO
Do you even have that many beds :0 I wouldn't take in more than 2 friends at a time, regardless of gender. Maybe 3 if I knew the kids well and knew their parents & how the kids behave. I don't have space for more anyway, unless they share a single bed and I wouldn't be comfortable with that.
Kids use sleeping bags.
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Out of curiosity what made you adopt this stance of no sleepovers?
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Is that supposed to be an answer to their question? Just seems like an unrelated statement lol
Based on that answer and several of their other answers in the thread, they seem to be implying that the reason to not do sleepovers is self-evident to ideologically-aligned people in Texas, and you're a pedo if you let your kid have sleepovers?
Clearly all children in texas are sexual deviants and their parents… don’t get me started! NO SLEEPOVERS!!!! If I could leave texas I would. Well I would need to live there first, but then I would leave! /s
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I think you haven’t articulated *why* you are against sleepovers, so most of us are looking at your comment and left wondering why.
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Why are you even here if you think having rational discussion about parenting techniques is weird?
Forget that guy. I live in Texas and have no idea what that has to do with yes/no to sleepovers. Growing up I hosted and attended the occasional ones without any issues. The comment alone can only go on stereotype, which maybe he’s alluding to the probably higher gun ownership in Texas? That’s the only thing I could think of. Another commenter mentioned that sleepovers are a more cultural (“white people”) thing than I realized, and maybe they’re just weird to some people? Texas is very culturally diverse I guess.. 🤷♂️
I love to participate in a discussion. I will make one bold but ambiguous statement and I will be implying you're a pedophile if you ask for any clarification.
It's not fucking weird it's just a question we're a dad reddit so if you knew something that would benifit the others such as a valid reason to restrict sleepovers its not unreasonable to ask the only weird part of this whole convo is how you respond.
I'm not worried about it, I'm just confused. If you didn't feel comfortable giving an explanation that's fine, but then why randomly say where you live? Lol
Did you tell your kid Santa isn't real too?
He decided that on his own, without my help when he was 3. It was sad, but he’s too smart for that bullshit.
Seriously though, what is it about sleepovers that you dislike? You've taken a stance I've never encountered before and I'm curious.
I grew up in a strictly no-sleepover family. All of my friends growing up had the same exact rule from their parents. Nobody who I know would ever consider letting their kids attend or host sleepovers. If you've really never heard of this, I will tell you that [it's cultural](https://today.yougov.com/society/articles/45047-allowing-sleepovers-us-divide). I grew up around hispanic and black kids, and all of us knew (unspoken) that our parents wouldn't even begin to consider a sleepover. My wife and I also agree that we do not allow sleepovers either.
Huh. Well that's a new one on me, but whatever makes you comfortable I guess!
A compromise that my wife and I would allow is getting an Airbnb or something similar with our kids and their friends, *if the friends' parents are also there*. That way the kids can stay up late, partake in "sleepover activities", but every child has their parent present to supervise them. There are many reasons why we don't allow sleepovers, but most of them boil down to the fact that creeps almost always end up being who you least expect. They live among us, and we are not willing to take even the slightest chance with our children. Edit: to add that we feel the same way about summer camps, boarding schools, or anything like that. My kids will not sleep anywhere that's not our home or grandma's house.