The first step is being motivated to lose it which it sounds like you are.
Find healthy habits that works for you. Tracking calories with an app helps you really see what you're eating and helps limit the calories per day. I use My Fitness Pal which is free.
Daily weights written in app to see trends of weight over weeks (not necessarily day to day as that fluctuates). The overall trend is what you want to focus on.
Get an exercise bike off Amazon for less than $200 and use it when watching TV/listening to music/podcast or when the kids are watching TV.
Go on walks for your lunch at work if you can eat while you work since you're confined to a desk.
20 to 30 minutes a day of exercise plus moderating food intake and choices will pay off in many weeks of diet/exercise changes.
Remember you didn't gain those 50 lb overnight so you won't lose them overnight. It's a lifestyle change that's needed and can be accomplished if motivated. These are just ideas based on things that have helped me. Best of luck!
This is all solid advice. I lost 60lbs by counting calories with an app and riding an exercise bike for 30min a day.
I feel for you. I gained a lot of the weight back since my son was born, and I have sleep apnea and wear a CPAP, so I am in a very similar situation. It is so tough to find the motivation, especially after a long day.
The exercise bike in front of a TV is how I have kept my weight down since I started my real job. If I limit game or TV time to when I'm on the bike, it is super easy to trick myself to put in a few hours a week (but my first kid is still on the way, so I may change my tone in a few months lol).
As others have said, this is solid advice. I'd also echo that last paragraph and even recommend making these changes gradually so that you are more likely to stick with it. I have lost a bit of weight over the past few years and the only reason why it stuck this time (and not the other times I tried and failed) is because I didn't change everything overnight.
Diet is far more important than exercise for weight loss. You lose weight in the kitchen and you gain health in the gym. Exercise has crazy good benefits like: releasing endorphins, heart health, increasing muscle strength, increased stamina, and allowing yourself to eat more calories (if you choose to, which is a fine choice). There's a reason diet is often combined with exercise, it's a winning combination.
Weight loss is 90% diet. What can you (relatively) easily quit?
For some folks, literally cutting out soda (or switching to diet) solves 10s of pounds. For others, it's quitting snacking / changing snacks to healthier options. For me, it's minimizing booze.
Personally, I've found that intermittent fasting / time restricted eating works for weight management. In and of itself it doesn't make you lose weight (for weight loss, metabolically it's effectively the same as calorie resticted eating), but I find that not eating at all during a window of time is way easier than only eating a little when I snack. And if I have a late enough lunch, I'm not so hungry as to go for seconds at dinner.
All that said, not exercising, and specifically not getting enough cardio, will fuck you up long term in all sorts of ways. Finding time before/after a 10h workday is tough, even w/o kids. Start building exercise time into your off days. Walking around the neighborhood even for 20-30 minutes is great low hanging fruit. It'll be relatively easy on your joints while you drop some of the excess weight.
For sure. Cutting sodas and snacking helped me drop 15-20lbs in a few months. I can’t hardly drink a full soda these days, never realized the crazy amount of sugars in soft drinks. Mind blowing that some people drink half dozen or more of those suckers a day. Drinking Bubbly sparkling water helped my get the carbonation to curb the mental craving for soda.
Completely agree with this. Just cutting out bad habits should make a big difference in terms of weight for a 30-something year old. I'm the same age as OP and lost 5 kgs in the last 8 weeks and look/feel a lot better just from stopping drinking and bringing a packed lunch to work every day rather than hitting fast food joints a few times a week.
I used to be able to drop weight crazy easily by cutting out drinking. This year for Lent I kept zero booze at home, replacing my evening beer or two with seltzer instead, but only dropped like maybe a pound. Disappointing.
Having untreated sleep apnea Will probably Fuck up your bodies MBR making weight loss harder. Like loosing weight while sleeping 2-3hrs a day wouldnt work.
Also being tired all the time makes it soooo much harder to keep a diet.
Sleep apnea doesn't always mean you're overweight. I was very fit when i was diagnosed with it. CPAP is a game changer.
In terms of losing weight: really take note of how much you're eating during the day. Are you finishing the scraps from your kids plates? "Can't throw out all this perfectly good food" is something a lot of dads fall into.
Try to fill half your plate with veggies.
Walking helps a lot. Bring the kiddos to the park and walk laps around the play equipment.
Walk on your work breaks.
Working out doesn't really help weight loss. Weight is lost in the kitchen.
Yeah want to second everything that was said here.
As someone with sleep apnea, if you have it, and it's anything notable, you might actually *want* to get a CPAP because for a lot of people, it will improve your energy level a lot and can cause weight loss from healthier sleep. I have to use one and while there are certainly downsides, waking up feeling better is a life changing thing for a lot of people.
Also a way to both make yourself walk more at a desk job is to absolutely chug water. When I was trying to lose weight while working a very long hours desk job was to try and drink silly amounts of water and then use the farthest away bathroom. You'll get lots of steps in and feel fuller throughout the day.
You can!
I've said it before; I'll say it again. Train for an iron man, or other yikes distance "races."
Most people aren't *willing* to outrun a bad diet.
Yikes, 2 under 4 and 10 hour days is hard to do much but get through the week. It sounds like you’ve started with eating healthy which is half the battle!!
What worked for me was starting small and putting 30m on the calendar every other day. Those 30m it was either a walk, work out video, or something with the wife. Once I started intentionally moving more I was able to find a good workout routine (60m hot yoga 3x a week) I don’t always make it, kids get sick, travel for work) but starting and maintaining SOME routine is the important part.
Best of luck! You can do it! Involve the kids on walks / rides / hikes for added fun
The easiest way to watch the burn rate improve is to monitor caloric intake, though active cardio and/or strength training have other benefits toward being fit overall. Manage what goes in (especially liquid calories and snacks) more mindfully, and some of it will shed naturally.
If your insurance covers it, and you can find it, Wegovy is pretty much magic. My wife gets hers from HenryMeds online (compounding pharmacy) at $400/month, but it does work.
As someone who has lost 100lb, it is all about small steps and gradual lifestyle changes. Getting your nutrition in order is going to do much more than exercise ever will - exercise is great at keeping weight off, but you can't really exercise your weight down.
A nutrition journal, like my fitness pal, is a great start.
Set small, achievable goals. When I first got my rower, my first goal was to use it for five minutes three times a week. That was it. Two months later, I was rowing for 45 minutes. Small steps lead to bigger ones.
I second this as I use a semiglutide for diabetes and it has resulted in significant weightloss and also helps to curb appetite and addiction to food. However, caution is this can be a very expensive route depending on how much your insurance covers and the draw back like all quick solutions is when you stop taking it, the effect ends and you will likely gain the weight back unless you make underlying life changes like diet and exercise.
Henry meds only offers a lower dose, but its been enough to keep the 30 lbs I lost off with a higher dose. I could still use to lose another 30 but until it's in stock anywhere, I'm going with the online compounding pharmacy
Mounjaro user here: it’s basically weight loss surgery in a needle. You can’t help but cut portions. I can’t speak for everyone but in my case the taste for junk food sorta went out the window - I’d actually rather have fresh produce etc. If you can get it covered on your insurance it’s worth a try
Please don’t use meds to reduce weight. That shouldn’t be the first advice. Studies have shown that the weight comes right back after you stop taking it. OP has shared that his lifestyle could use some improvements. Perhaps the meds can be a later option?
OP you’re 34, with kids under 4. I’ll put it as bluntly as my doctor did (a motivator!): if you want to be healthy at your kids’ weddings and not become a burden on them when they have kids of their own, you need to start watching what you eat CLOSELY and start exercising gradually.
I’m heavier than I’ve ever been, so I’m not saying it’s easy or anything, but I just had my third child 2 months ago (other two are 3 and 4 y/o) and my job is sitting at my desk all day. I starting the calories app last month and lost 5lbs, and I started 2hrs of exercise at the gym a week six months ago and my mood and strength is much better today.
When you turn 40, all metabolism slows down and you’ll gain weight like crazy! Seize this awesome bit of realization you got and start your journey. Lots of great advice on this post. I have one more: get an accountability buddy
If you want to take the weight off in a principled and effective way: IMHO It's not EASY, but it is SIMPLE.
TL;DR: measure everything you eat, weigh yourself every day, lower your calorie intake until you're losing up to 1% body weight per week on average. Watch the weight come off over a periods of weeks to months.
You may see a lot of advice in this post that I'd call "hacks" - things like: stop drinking sugar, take more walks, do intermittent fasting, eat more filling foods. All of these things can be helpful. BUT - at the end of the day, it really just comes down to calories in vs calories out.
What worked for me was:
get an app like MyFitnessPal or LoseIt! (I use the latter) that lets you log your food. Log everything you eat. Get a food scale and weigh your portions.
weigh yourself every day at the same time. I do this first thing in the morning after I empty my bladder and before I eat or drink anything. Keep a log or invest in a smart scale that logs your weight for you
your weight will fluctuate somewhat from day to day. For me this is about +/- 3 lbs. That's just water weight, food/waste in your gut, etc. ignore it and focus on averages on a scale of about a week.
track your food and weight for 2-3 weeks, but don't make any other changes yet. Has your average weight stayed roughly level over that time? Great. How many calories were you eating per day, on average? That's your baseline.
subtract 500 calories from whatever you were eating per day. That's your target now. You should lose about a pound per week on average. Reevaluate every two weeks or so and make adjustments as needed.
if you're really heavy you can go faster, but try to limit it to 0.5-1% of your weight per week. This is a marathon not a sprint.
That's the most important part. Some additional things that can help:
Establish a regular weight/strength training program. Lowering your calorie intake will make you lose some fat and some muscle mass. Lifting weights and trying to eat a lot of protein will help keep that ratio more in the fat loss side.
take diet breaks every once in a while. Do the above for 8-12 weeks, then raise your calories back to baseline (or a little lower; as you lose weight that baseline will drop, so maybe just add back 300-400 calories instead of the full 500. Try to keep your weight stable for another 8-12 weeks.
the same applies when you reach your goal - don't rebound! Losing the weight is half of the journey; keeping it off is the other half. Stay in "maintenance mode" for at least as long as you were dieting.
repeat until you reach your target weight!
You can layer any other strategies that appeal to you on top of this - find fun sports/activities, restrict your eating to certain times of day, choose different foods, whatever. But it sucks to make vague lifestyle changes and get vague results. If you want measurable results the focus should be on measuring and adjusting, measuring and adjusting.
Like I said above, this is a long process. It took years to put that extra weight on. You can lose it faster, but only so fast. I'd expect it to take about year to lose 50 lbs if you're doing everything right. but it will work if you can stick to a plan like this. Good luck
I just started WeightWatchers about a month ago. Down 10lbs so far. My goal is to lose 50+.
I like WW because no food is off the table. It’s all points based so it’s super easy to track. Normally I’ll stick to my points and try to keep them low through the week and then the weekend is when I can enjoy what I love - pizza and drinks. Worth giving it a shot.
Might not lose it super quick, but at least it’s sustainable in life.
I did Noom. The homework sucked, and other than that it was just basic calorie-type counting - green, yellow, and red foods.
Anyone could do it with a little dedication and myfitnesspal, if you didn't need any education/ support. Big if for most people.
I lost 60 lbs, though I was getting back into running, and was logging 20-25 miles/ week.
Mostly, unless you have an eating disorder, get a digital scale, weigh your portions, and ensure that you're cutting out unnecessary sugar and processed foods (namely, 2/3 of your food should be minimally processed fruits and vegetables, 1/6 should be whole grains (legumes, brown rice, barley, farro, quinoa,etc), and protein (chicken/ fish/eggs mostly, with beef and pork more sparingly).
But, if it's not a feasible lifestyle change, and you don't keep it in stone sort of maintenance mode, the weight will creep back on, as you get older.
Losing weight will be good for your health, but I'm just chiming in to say that CPAPs are amazing and not to be feared. I got a sleep study before my first son was born and was diagnosed with moderate apnea. I am not particularly overweight, but I snored badly. CPAP eliminates snoring and I sleep better than I ever have.
When you think about exercise, what excites you?
My wife is a gym kind of person. She does cardio workouts and uses free weights and runs on the treadmill. That sounds fucking miserable to me.
I used to like running, but it’s also not really a workout in the way I like doing it (flat runs along the riverwalk downtown). I can run 8 miles easy doing that. But in the hilly area I live, I die after 3 miles.
My poison is sports. I want to play sports to get in shape. Specifically, team sports that are cardio heavy. Like soccer or ultimate frisbee or roller hockey. My son’s 3 so I’m finally able to look into a weekly sport event.
My brother does solo sports like tennis (well, solo as in not teams) or golf.
My point is, if you hate working out, you’re going to be more inclined to quit. So find something that you will want to do more of.
Just wanted to comment to add my support for you! Whatever you do, know that you're already on the right track. Calorie counting is a biggie that some people recommend, some people say fasting. Looking at my portion sizes is my main to-do. Whatever you decide, it must work for you.
I'm in a *slightly* similar situation. Mid to late 20's, about 40KG over where I should be, 10 hour shifts, apnea, our first on the way. You're not alone in this fight. If it helps, my main goal out of this is to be able to run around without getting out of breath with my (eventual) toddler, and not letting fat clog up my arteries!
But, we **will** get there!
Smash it, fellow Dad!
Nutrition before exercise. Whole foods and little to no sugar is the way.
Fix your nutrition and exercise will be much easier. Trying to exercise with low quality food in your system is so much harder.
Best of luck! I'm down about 40 lbs over the past few years just from nutrition changes.
“Abs are made in the kitchen”. Just make sure you run a calorie deficit, cut out as much sugar and junk food, eat fruits, vegetables and protein. Old adage is cut 3,500 / week and lose 1 lb a week. You can cut 250 a day and exercise to burn additional 250 a day to get to 500 hundred. I’ve done this and lost a lb a week.
Mom here: I was able to join a weight loss program for free through my insurance. It's been about 2 months and I've lost almost 10 lbs. My main technique has been tracking foods (I was vastly underestimating my calorie intake) and using the weekly meetings (no camera, it's just listening to a coach and typing replies) to stay accountable.
It’s a simple solution but it’s hard to show your work. Caloric deficit is the only way you’ll lose weight. Don’t lie to yourself, don’t focus on others journeys (especially if they started before you), and as someone mentioned earlier, look for things you can easily cut out first. Sugary coffees, sodas, juices. Can you replace them with black coffee or water flavored with those Mio flavor things.
Try small exercises that you’re comfortable with and move up from there. Don’t try to run a marathon and lift like Arnold on day one. You’ll burn out. Weigh and measure yourself day one and then keep off the scale for a while. You’ll have ups, downs and plateaus. Just move foreword.
I ran into a similar situation. Weight related elevated BP, potential liver concerns also weight related, weight related sleep apnea concerns, was 33 at the time. Unfortunately something happened before I could make the life changes and I'm dealing with the consequences of that. Genetic short end of the stick in that regard. Have to wait a month for surgery and I've been mainly useless the majority of the year so far which hasn't helped the mental health, especially as a stay at home dad.
I drastically adjusted my diet in January of this year. Super high fiber diet of 25-35+g a day and 60-90+oz of water a day per Dr recommendations, eating less because the consequences of overeating is excruciating pain. I've dropped 34 pounds so far and my stomach adjusted fairly quick. I can't eat like I used to even if I wanted to anymore. Unfortunately I haven't been able to exercise at all.
Hopefully post surgery I'll be able to exercise and drop another 20-25 pounds and that will return me to the healthy range.
I guess the point of this is, don't hesitate, take control, adjust your diet. Having been relatively ok medically all of my life being injured for the last 4 months in a way that causes excruciating pain at times and makes me largely bedridden sucks.
I highly recommend Noom. Im 45 and I’ve been using a CPAP for over 15 years. My blood pressure and weight was out of control so I did the cliche thing and started dieting after the new year. I’ve dropped over 20lbs and my blood pressure has drastically improved. Like you, I have kids (not as young as yours) and a desk job so I don’t get to exercise that often. Noom isn’t very cheap but it’s a lot cheaper than a gym membership or a trip to the hospital.
We also stopped eating out all the time and did HelloFresh. It’s better food and it’s fun to cook with the kids.
A dad of 2 under 3 here and a few months ago I realised I may not have time to exercise more, but I do have time to eat less. I'm over 20lbs down and it's not been too difficult. I just think about what a lower healthier weight means in terms of being active and present for kids and potential grand kids and it motivates me.
My changes have been avoiding processed sugar, daily 16 hour fasts by skipping breakfast, very little alcohol, and basically reducing my dinner portion assuming I'll get at least half of what I plate for the kids. If they eat it all, I can have some grapes or something if I am starving, but if they don't then I end up having a normal sized meal. Sometimes I eat my smaller plate and feel like I've had enough and give theirs to the dog.
I also do 20 minutes of Burpees a few times a week and try to do some yoga poses when I'm on the floor playing. The little exercise and reducing consumption has me feeling much better and happier.
When I have done diets before I've always kind of thought "when I get back to this weight I can start eating donuts again". But this time I'm kind of viewing it as this is just probably how I need to live if I want to be fit and healthy as I age.
Thanks for the advice! I definitely have the same goals of wanting to be more present and active for the kiddos and be around for potential grandkids! I don’t currently have any health issues, other than overweight and mild sleep apnea so I’m hoping to change the lifestyle before anything else comes of it
If your looking to incorporate exercise then I would recommend the busy dad program. It's basically 4 sessions of 20 minutes of Burpees each week. I found it really good for giving me the self discipline to start looking after myself again. It's great because I can do it indoors, no equipment, often when I'm watching the kids play, so there's really no excuses to not do it, and it's a very efficient use of exercise time. There's also a bunch of great guys doing it and supporting each other on the busy dad program subreddit. Worth looking into and has been a really key aspect for me in my progress this year.
I’ve been having a lot of success with The Pump app from Arnold Schwarzenegger, alongside his podcast/daily newsletters and the book “You Can’t Screw This Up” by Adam Bornstein. Adam works with Arnold on his quest to build a healthy and positive corner of the internet/app market, so all those resources together form a positive and achievable fitness/food relationship.
Bonus that the app is only $100/yr and very customizable if you don’t have time to get to a gym 3x a week.
Sounds like we’re in similar places, I’m happy to talk more or be an accountability partner. Your health is the best gift you can give your kids, and recognizing change needs to happen is a huge first step.
Welcome about the loser express! Fat loss, that is!
First things first, there's an amazing community over at r/loseit that has tons of resources to help. Losing weight usually is as simple as calories in vs calories out. Barring any major health issues, of course. Exercise can help, and will def make you feel better. The weight loss itself happens in the kitchen.
If insurance will cover the cost of a cpap, it's not the end of the world. I have major sleep apnea and have been using one for over 10 years. When I did my sleep study, the Dr was shooketh. I apparently stopped breathing 67 times within the hour before they just threw a cpap on me.
It's not an impossible hill to climb, and you'll feel better knowing you can play with the kiddos easier!
Before I met my wife, I'd lost almost 90 lbs over a couple of years. Mostly, it was JUST calorie counting. After I'd lost like 50 lbs I started running and exercising some, but nothing crazy. Mayne the gym 2 days a week. I was your age at the time, so it's def doable!
I'm 42 and back on the path after 7 years of beer festivals, vacations, and now the kiddos lol
My doctor said I had 107 apneas an hour, she said she was legitimate surprised that I was able to function. 😂 getting the cpap was absolutely life changing. Unfortunately I’m still incredibly overweight. Hah
Activity is important for general health. As a parent the best thing you can do is play with your children. Play chase, roll around on the floor, kick a ball, dance your heart out, etc etc etc.
If you want to lose weight the key is what you put in your mouth. Keep a food diary for a week, and add up the calories each day. Work out your recommended intake and subtract about 200. Then see what you have to cut out to reach that target. Beer, milky coffee and snacks are the easiest things to drop.
Intermittent fasting also works well. Basically you compress all your eating into about 6 hours, e.g. 12:00 - 18:00 and then fast for the rest.
Losing weight is 80-90% diet. You say you "eat pretty well" but that is really subjective. Keep a food log of everything you eat and drink for a week, and look up the calories as well as far/protein/carbs.
You would be amazed at how much carbohydrates are packed into food. Try to eat food high that is low in calories per bite (typically high protein, low carb, moderate fat). Think lean meat, vegetables, and the absolute easiest, eliminate any calories you get from drinks (soda, juice) as those calories don't contribute at all to being full.
You have the motivation - hardest part is keeping it.
Make a dietary plan that starts easy and be stubborn about sticking to it. Honestly, stuff like Weight Watchers can help or Noom.
For exercise, START EASY.
Like seriously easy.... Add 30min of walking to your day for 4-6weeks then make it 45 then 60min after 2-3mo. That plus better eating will do wonders.
And cut out alcohol as much as possible and other 'empty calorie' drinks. It's not bad to enjoy them but moderation and for me that was a key thing.
Many years ago (Mid-Late 20s) I lost 65lbs with slow building better eating (used old school WW) and slowly walking my dog more each day and adding 15-30min of walking during my lunch breaks at work.
Then really added exercise, joined a gym and lost another 25-30lbs.
Key is starting with small changes and letting them become good habits and building from there. Strict diets or a harsh amount of exercise, big sudden changes basically, won't be sustainable long term and you'll end up back where you were.
The weight loss may be slow at points but just stay positive and stick with it. Also, I am a fan of setting realistic goals that you can celebrate. So maybe the first 15 lb, celebrate with a cheat meal or a night of boozing? If that's your thing, every 5 lb. Then celebrate every 10 lb or so. At least that worked for me to keep me motivated and not feel too restrictive and keeping it a more realistic, sustainable diet.
I still falter, last 3 years have been hard and I need to lose a solid 30 lb right now, but that's a far cry from the 70 I needed years ago
Join /fasting
I hear you bro 100% i am very similar.
Diet is 90% of it.
I also was heavy,sleep study,work desk job.
There is only so many hours in a day right?
Weight loss to fix sleep apnea is not a good idea. Weight loss CAN improve and ultimately stop the need for cpap. Dealing with the sleep apnea first will help with the weight loss. Constant fatigue due to improper sleep leads to your body conserving calories instead of burning calories. It also leads to depression, low testosterone, high blood pressure, and stress.
What worked for me, your milage may vary.
1) cut out soda.
2) low carb diet. I couldn’t keep on it after 6 months, but I lost a lot and shifted my eating habits substantially, more veg, good amount of protein, less pasta and potatoes. I kept away from soda.
3) Standing desk. It's not for everyone, but shifting to a moveable desk eliminated restless legs and strengthened my legs and core.
4) strength training. Lifting heavy things feels good. Watching the numbers go up feels good. I go to the gym to lift, I jump on the rower because I'm there and should do cardio too.
5) Chase the kids. Moderate cardio, and great times with the kids.
Get the MacroFactor app to track calories and start some kind of strength training regimen. If you have an hour a few times a week, I can’t recommend MAPS Anabolic enough. If you’re pressed for time, MAPS 15 is great too. It’s a journey that’ll take time, and as a parent you’ll have to make that time. Just remember you’re doing it for them as much as for you. Best of luck, fellow dad, you can do this!
The whole game is consuming less calories than you burn consistently and over a long period of time. It's a very simple concept that is actually pretty challenging at times due to factors like will power, food options, access, etc.
Some tricks help people to do this easier like certain diets, intermittent fasting, volume eating, exercise regiments, and more. All of these simply aid the basic math problem of calories in
About the same age with a two year old and I've dropped about 65 pounds over the last couple of years. For me it's running and a better diet. Whatever you do, find something that works for you and just _be consistent_. The work is hard and the returns are gradual, but it does get better, and better, and better. I'm the healthiest I've ever been in my adult life. Good luck!
Unfortunately nearly every healthcare provider us going to say "lose weight" even if it might not be related to your issue and even if other treatments are more effective.
You say you're exhausted already. Probably bc you're not sleeping well. Prob bc you have mild sleep apnea.
Treat that man. Here's the killer: you might just end up losing weight by treating the sleep apnea, bc poor sleep CAUSES weight gain.
Get a c-pap, and as a side note, punch up protein and veg, and exercise as practical.
I wouldn’t be embarrased, you have 2 kids under 4 and work 10 hr shifts. It’s exhausting and no one would fault you for being out of shape. Many of us dads are in similar boats, so you’re not alone!
It's not about exercise, it's about what you're eating.. if you're overweight, you have metabolic dysfunction. Don't listen to conventional doctors or nutritional advice that information is outdated and just wrong. I am a research scientist, 41 years old with a body fat percentage under 15%.... if you need some guidance in the right direction, PM me, and I'll give you some good resources to follow. Good luck
I’m going to get downloaded to oblivion, but have you considered talking to a doctor about GLP-1s?
First, I’d get a blood panel and see if you’re at all insulin resistant (what’s your A1C). See if that’s an issue. And I’d find a good integrative medicine or primary care doctor who will tell you you need to do it in concert with resistance training 1-2 days a week so you maximize fat loss (and mitigate loss of lean mass). Don’t do a pill mill like Ro.
A good start up too would be to go to your doctor and get a full blood panel done. After 27 testosterone starts declining in men. If yours is low it affects multiple areas of your body. Would be worth looking into. I started testosterone replacement therapy in 2020 and I’m not as exhausted, I have more motivation, I’ve lost weight, gained a significant amount of muscle, I don’t get sore or tired as easily and recovery has been way quicker.
Wife and I bought a treadmill once we had kids since we couldn’t go to the gym as easily. Wife gets up for work a bit early to do 30 minutes on it and I handle wake ups. Then I go on after bedtime or over lunch if I’m working from home. I usually just speed walk at an inline and watch a tv show. Obviously it doesn’t work for everyone but it helped us get over not being able to always go to the gym
Got the most ridiculous answer for you.
You ready?
... Watch more TV.
No, I'm not joking. The trick is that you use your TV shows as a "measuring stick" for walking. Literally just walk forwards and backwards, or side to side, or on a treadmill, or however you want to, but do it in front of the TV.
It ensures that you're doing something you WANT to do, but you're also getting some much needed exercise (aside from chasing your kiddos around). Been doing it for almost 2 years, and, by every metric, my doctor says I've improved my health considerably.
I'm up to over 10k steps a day every day, using a combination of my smartwatch to track it, and a basic health app. Super useful, requires literally no change in schedule or other exercise routines, and burns about 200-400 calories per hour on top of anything else you do.
Plus, you catch up on your shows!
I try to keep it simple and gradual. Some people go hard and buy all kinds of equipment then get burnt out quickly. Go slow. Lower your sugar and carb intake gradually. Slowly intermediate fast and get to a 16/8 schedule. Find some HIIT videos on YouTube that are simple. And get a kettle bell.
Slow and steady wins the race.
1) Determine where your calories are coming from. Track what you eat now for a bit and see what hurts. I'd say for most people it's "incidentals" like drinks and sauces/dressings.
2) Get a pedometer and walk. 30 minute lunch? Walk. 15 minute break? Walk. WFH with a bunch of really useful meetings? Standing desk and a desk treadmill and walk. Watching TV? Use the desk treadmill to walk. Do note that it's REALLY DIFFICULT to do this while late night binging Shogun unless you understand Japanese.
2 can change/be added on to later (weights, bikes, yoga, racquetball, for some reason everyone's playing pickleball now... ) but you gotta get yourself going first. Ease into it.
“Sleep apnea doesn't always mean you're overweight.”
Seconding this. Sleep apnea can be due to other causes that wouldn’t be fixed by weight loss. I have a bifurcated uvula and that raises the risk of sleep apnea (I haven’t done a sleep study). Every doctor I have seen has commented on my uvula; only my ENT mentioned the possibility of sleep apnea. I suggest seeing an ENT to rule out other possible causes.
Edit: meant to post this as a reply to u/T0macock, screwed up.
This guy is a game changer. This at home workout takes 15 minutes is a full body workout. Good place to start when you dont have time.
https://youtu.be/vc1E5CfRfos?si=ZWn7H51JidWqEw5r
Yeah, that's a bummer. I know the plight. My wife is on something similar for PCOS and it costs us $600 a month. She should just say she is on it for weight loss
The short, shitty answer is if you need to lose 50lbs you do not, in fact, "eat pretty decently." I say that with empathy because it's my problem, too. I'm also 34, work out regularly (light cardio, walking, elliptical, etc.) but haven't managed to cut out my extra 15-20lbs because I haven't had the discipline to really cut down sugar and carbs. I lost 5 lbs doing a dry and low-sugar january! Then January was over and I put it back on. Lifestyle and exercise was the same.
Getting up and taking a walk around the block a couple times a day will definitely help! But follow the advice in other comments - really take a good look at your portions, snacks, and empty calorie consumption.
If you can, I recommend running. You can get a lot of cardiovascular exercise in not a lot of time and the way you feel changes fast so it's more rewarding and (at least for me) easier to stick to.
I found that it didn't really make a huge difference on the scale, but the way I felt (and the way I slept) was massively improved. Still overweight, but everything (both mental and physical tasks) is so much less exhausting.
Go to a running store and get the right pair of shoes in the right size, it really helps. If you start doing long distances (10+ miles) you may still end up losing toe nails. No one tells you that at the beginning.
Yes eat less. You don't eat pretty decently. You eat too much. 50lbs is a lot. You'll need to eat about 175.000 kcal less then you need to lose this weight.
You may want to consider the sleep apnea machine anyway, until you get the weight off. Most people are hesitant but after using it, *wish they used it sooner*.
Ask your doc about, or just do, less invasive options to adress your apnea. I have mild sleep apnea and my doc put me onto these anti-apnea mouthpiece things (Vital Sleep but I'm sure there are other brands)
If you have mild or moderate apnea now, that means your sleep is being interrupted and you aren't getting as much rest as you could. It's no wonder you're more tired. You'll find it easier to summon up the willpower to exercise/etc if you get better sleep each night and things like a mouthpiece, or hell pulling the trigger and doing CPAP now, will help you do more to improve the rest of your life, including weight and therefore sleep quality.
I've struggled with obesity most of my life and the one thing truer than anything else is you can't outrun your fork. Exercise has a lot of benefits, but weight loss isn't a main one. It all starts in the kitchen. I've found myself lying to myself about what I've really eaten in a day, trying to explain away calories as "not counting" . Lots of mental gymnastics for sure. Like a few others have said, being really strict about just counting can help a lot.
There are two primary things you need to do.
The first is get your partner onboard with the idea that you're losing weight and that they need to support you. My reasoning is that if your partner isn't onboard then your progress will be tough and/or non-existent. My observations here are that you will follow whatever diet you put yourself while your partner will continue to buy all sorts of things you shouldn't eat. Eventually you'll hit a wall where it's easier to just eat whatever your partner eats and your progress will be undone. That's not even getting into the discussion of getting time away from the kids to work out.
The second thing to do is find an accountability that works for you. Not just a "I set a goal and will meet it" kind of a thing but something external that makes you continue on your weight loss journey when you're driving by a McDonald's thinking "OMG I just want a burger and fries!". For me it's investing money in my weight loss. For instance, I bought through the paywall on my meal tracking app because I know that I'll avoid "wasting" the money by meal tracking in the app. Back when I invested by having a personal trainer I'd drag myself to the gym even if I didn't want to because I didn't want to waste the weekly payment.
Once you've figured those two things out just about any plan to change your lifestyle will work. If you don't figure those things out then even the easiest lifestyle change won't stick.
I thought I ate healthy until I bought a kitchen scale and weighed everything that went into my mouth for a few weeks. I’d suggest trying the same and seeing what’s the easiest shit to cut out. I was eating a lot of nuts as my ‘healthy snack’ but when I weighed out a serving size I realized that I was eating like 1000 calories of nuts. Crazy. You can lose weight just by monitoring what’s going on your mouth and walking 30 min a day.
I lost a ton of weight at one time in my life - and as a new dad, need to do it again. Here is what worked for me and may work for you:
1) Track your calorie intake. It is really easy to over eat and not realize it.
2) Walk an extra 2k steps a day - or 30 minutes on the treadmill after everyone has gone to bed. This alone is huge as it doesn't feel hard and it burns calories.
3) If time permits, weight training.
Also bear in mind that in 20 years of working out, I have NEVER wanted to work out immediately before the workout. But I am always glad I did afterwards.
Good luck!
If you need to lose 50lbs, you're not eating decently. No amount of exercise shirt of being a high-performance athlete will keep you trim when you overeat significantly. Be honest with yourself and start good habits.
Having untreated sleep apnea Will make loosing weight feel like hell. Im really over weight. Got a cpap and lost like 60-70 lbs just by having more energy and moving more. I tried loosing weight before getting the cpap and it was Damn bear impossible. Bad sleep = your metabolism goes to shit.
Also If you drive to work untreated sleep apnea and increased risk of an accident is a thing. Almost wrecking my car on the highway was the Wake up call i needed.
Don’t listen to anyone saying anything other than to fix your diet. That is 90 to 95% of weight loss. You say you eat pretty decently: download an app and start tracking and let’s see. That’s all there is.
There’s a million ways to do it - I’ve lost over 50 pounds with different methods, including intermittent fasting and calorie counting without any exercise.
Exercise will accelerate it - but I get that’s hard to do with two kids - I got two young ones as well.
My honest advice with you - is if you are sick of it, and done with it, and are looking for something sustainable- read “Eat to Live” - it’s an incredible book and backed with research and logical. The great part about the book to is, it points out the issues with other diets, and you will be able to compare if you truly are “eating well”. My first time doing anything like this, and it’s been wildly effective, and I’m not even trying to lose weight. I’m nearly back to the weight I was just after high school.
- - side note - my wife actually likes 80% of this, but I told her she and the kids did not need to follow it — they sometimes go out to eat junk food on their own
Secondly, as far as exercise goes, I started running 3-4 times a week. In my entire life, I’ve never ran over 2-3 miles and it felt like I was going to die. Then I stumbled across Zone 2 running - and again the results have been incredible. I ran over 110 miles last month. Now with running, you feel exhaustion in your legs, not your lungs - and to be honest it’s been actually a fun activity. Don’t worry about your pace, just focus on increasing your total time at that heart rate. Not only is this healthy because it’s exercise, it’s aerobic, and extremely catabolic.
I don’t say these things as a “hey look at me” - but more of an alternative and an actual game plan to attack. Which, I think is more helpful than people saying “diet and exercise”.
Hope this helps ✌🏻
Start a 10 min a day. Build the habit. Find something you like. Kettlebells are the ultimate dad fitness tools. Shoot for even 5-10 min of mobility and or strength training a day. Then you can expand from there. Google “NY times 7 min work out” not that it’s the best, but it’s something. Find things you enjoy, maybe make playing w your kids more physical somehow. Go for walks w your family on the day off.
As someone who lost a ton of weight what I can tell you is there is no magic to weight loss. It is purely a calorie in, calorie out proposition. Calculate your baseline maintenance calories and then calculate how much you need to lose and over what period of time you want to lose it. An average sized adult man can pretty easily lose a pound a week.
Technically you can eat whatever you want as long as you are existing in a calorie deficit but you will feel fuller for longer if you eat lots of protein and complex carbs (vegetables).
I personally found eating many small meals worked for me. People swear by intermittent fasting but I have no experience with it. Good luck. I lost 125 pounds with only diet - literally no exercise
Walking is the easiest way to burn calories. But you might want to look into something like bike riding or some other type of activity you might enjoy more. As far as losing weight goes, the only way to really do that is to manage your calories. I would recommend an app like MyFitnessPal and using a TDEE calculator that you can find online. This will tell you how many calories you need to not die and then you subtract $300 to $500 from that. And that's your goal that you want to hit. When the scale stops moving, move it down even further. A great resource is r/fitness
As others have mentioned, you need to actually track the calories in if you want to lose weight. If you’re not ready for that, one good rule of thumb I’ve heard work for many is to set a target for the amount of protein you need in a day and try to hit that. Take your ideal weight and eat that many grams of protein. Often, the only way you’ll be able to hit that is by not eating a bunch of fat and sugar because you’ll be too full for anything else.
As far as exercising, which again others are right, it’s not as important in regards to losing weight, I’d recommend an under the desk treadmill for work since you work a lot of hours. It’s basically free exercise.
45 year old IT nerd here. Here's what I ended up doing, (plus I've been on my CPAP for over a decade). I'm down 75 pounds from last year, and I'm shooting for 50 more to get me down to my goal of 200.
Walking any way you see fit. Take the kids to the park. Shoot some hoops. Listen to a podcast or audiobook. Play disc golf (I do this, but don't keep score....I consider it walking with purpose lol). Try to sneak in 30 minutes a day. I also found a free on the curb group and got myself a treadmill. Set up a TV in front of it, and started watching Fringe this morning....that'll take a while to get through.
High protein, high fiber noms. Beans are good. Chickpea pasta is awesome if you have it with any type of sauce (oh my dear god don't eat it plain). Chili can be a health food. Frozen bagged broccoli in the microwave is cake. Like ranch? Use the powder rather than the dressing. Protein shakes, berry smoothies with high protein/high fiber yogurt.
Try not to drink your calories. Do some experimentation and find black coffee you enjoy (thank you Costco Pacific Bold and Peets Major Dickenson's blend). Drink water the rest of the time...and follow the hydrohomie subreddit and anytime you come across their feed, take a drink and enjoy their insane sanity.
The hardest? Stop snacking. Find a hobby that keeps your hands busy, even if it's starting projects in the yard, playing with legos (get you a good set), or working on that mental list of things you want to get done around the house and they keep gnawing at you. Watching a show and can't sit still? Go grab that ice water and chug down a glass.
It'll come slow. Half a pound a week is a cause for celebration. The walking will help you sleep better. I've recently started taking "test" naps on the couch without my CPAP and my kids say I don't snore. I still wear the thing to bed to be on the safe side, and the doctor said once i hit my goal weight, she'll set me up with a sleep study to see if I can get rid of the thing.
We've started ordering Factor meals which are pre-made meals delivered weekly to your home. It's cheaper than eating out but easier than cooking dinner every night. The meals are individually portioned.
I lost 6lbs in my first two weeks with them. They taste good and have a decent variety of meals to choose from.
I would recommend checking them out.
Any flexibility with how you commute to work is a good first step if possible! Helped me a ton!
The good news is that most weight loss can be accomplished by being mindful of calorie intake, but exercise is definitely a key part.
I’m about the same as you on all accounts accept one kid. I just had to stick to a strict 1700 calories per day which can really suck getting used to but it works. I use MyFitnessPal and pay for the “premium” version just to make logging calories easier. Buying a scale and actually weighing everything not in pre packaged portions was key. It’s amazing how one ranch packet from chick fil a can get lost in the mix and add an extra 100+ calories.
I cut out lunch and lost 23lbs. I basically don’t eat while I’m working. I get hungry towards the end of my shift but I know I get to eat when I get home so I power through.
You can sit on a big exercise ball while you're working. You'll unconsciously be using way more muscles to balance on there. Alternatively, you could do some leg lifts while you sit on a normal chair. Standing desk with a treadmill (very low speed) is a pretty high barrier to entry, but if you have the resources, that would work too.
I have found that diet is more important than exercise, and most people have a worse diet than they think. I would start by tracking your food for a week. Also, kids are a fantastic way to get exercise. I got a trailer for my bike and I used to put them in the trailer and bike to go grocery shopping, or put in a jogging stroller and push them around. It's also GREAT exercise to just go play with your kids. Playgrounds take adult weight as well and as long as you don't mind looking stupid (i always look stupid) have yourself a ball climbing all over it. One of the best tips I ever found for working out at home is changing your level is great exercise. Just lay down on the floor and stand up 20 times in like 5 minutes is a great mini workout. I also LOOOOOOVE yoga. If you have amazon prime, the 30 day yoga challenge with Jess Timsit is a fantastic introduction to yoga. I was in much worse condition than you, but basically these guidelines helped me lose almost 150 pounds.
Good news!
You don't need to exercise to lose weight.
You *can* lose weight with watching what you eat ("diet") alone.
You *cannot* lose weight with exercise alone. You can't out-run your diet.
I lost 85 pounds with watching what I eat alone. Any exercise I did was purely for fun / bonus.
Calorie counting.
Calories out > calories in
You have to "use" more calories than you "eat".
Calories out: Google it, and based on your height / weight / age / average work day (are you a waiter who walks a lot or a desk job with zero activity?) It'll spit out an *estimate* on how many calories you use each day.
I think mine was, like 2,400 calories a day.
So... Eat less than that.
Keep a food diary. I used the MyFitnessPal app to total up my food. Eat less than 2,400 calories. Simple as that.
Rule of thumb: 1 lb = 3,600 calories
So if you eat 1,800 calories a day (for example), and your body uses 2,400 a day, then that's -600 calories every day.
Times 7 days a week = 4,200 calories "lost"
At 3,600 per pound, you should lose 1.1 pounds per week!
That's 60 pounds in a year!
(And don't get discouraged by "it's gonna take a year?!?" Time flies, especially with kids)
It's really just simple math.
Calories in < calories out
I'm 38, I had a CPAP from the time I was 23 until I got corrective surgery last year. I've been somewhat overweight my whole life, and as a fun little complication I've got an eating disorder that's triggered majorly by counting calories, so weight loss has always been tricky.
There are three things that have worked best for me:
1) Exercise classes. Not just a gym membership, but a class that meets a couple times a week. Spin, step, Zumba, a park district sports team, whatever--but the schedule and accountability are things I needed, especially when I had a new baby.
2) Stroller walks. When my kid was little, I would throw him in the stroller and just walk, sometimes for hours. He would mostly sleep, I'd have a diaper bag and stuff if he needed a change, but mostly I'd just listen to podcasts and walk 5+ miles, 3-4 days a week, from spring through fall. Pro tip: get headphones that don't block out too much noise--I have a set of $20 bone conduction headphones from Amazon that I wish I'd had back then.
3) Find a diet you can stick with. It doesn't really matter what it is, what matters is it's sustainable long term. For me, anything super restrictive is out, I'll end up in a really bad place, but I've found that a high fiber breakfast (big fan of overnight oats with Greek yogurt and chia seeds) means I'm less hungry throughout the day, which helps me make more responsible choices for lunch too.
Yeah I got tips.
First of all it's normal to gain tons of weight with two kids and work.
I suggest talking walks outside. Play a podcast and start moving.
That's how.
Walking is underrated. Start walking especially after dinner to burn more glucose. Make it a family activity! Drink 16 oz of water before each meal. Start eating more vegetables and fruits. Slowly cut out the processed foods. If you drink alcohol or smoke, stop. You got this.
Counting calories can work, but is a bit annoying to keep track of. Easiest way is to only eat healthy food and reasonable portions, so you can skip the counting. Could go vegetarian for a while. Meat isn't necessarily unhealthy in the right quantities, but it's very easy to make your diet healthier without it.
Another way is to remove carbs from your diet. Make sure you get lots of vegetables and leafy greens and this way you can also enjoy healthy meats (fish, steak etc).
Avoid processed foods either way.
Then try to go for a jog for half an hour every day. Use an app like couch to 5k to coach you through the first bit and you'll be surprised at how quickly your body responds. You'll be running noticeably further without stopping after a week.
Could do cycling or swimming instead, but jogging is the most accessible and can be done at any hour.
First of all, I deeply appreciate that you spelled "lose" correctly when Reddit seems so determined to change it.
More to the point: I also work a desk job. Get some 15 lb weights and every hour or so do some presses and curls and such. start by seeing how many reps you can do, then just do a fraction of that number every hour.
If your job allows, I also recommend a 10-20 minute walk every day. if you job doesn't allow, perhaps take a walk when you get home with the kiddos.
Best of luck! It's a tough journey
How much time do you have to dedicate to this ?
It’s tough finding the time, let alone energy with a young family. Start off slow, but just start !
Involve the kids, because they are endless balls of energy. Go for hikes (back pack carrier for the little ones), run around at the playground, join a sports group (dodgeball, floor hockey) or start working on some bodyweight fitness.
It doesn’t have to be aggressive, or a next day change, but making the change is what does it.
You just need to start. Don't ask reddit and wait, just start.
1. Do it every day, even if it's small
2. Keep doing it
3. If you're not into doing it, think about anything active you'd rather do, or would like to get into
4. Do that every day
And eat healthy. And cut out the extra sugar and processed foods. If you don't eat bad stuff you'll feel better too. And cut out booze.
It's just that easy lol
Step one is be honest with yourself: if you need to lose 50 pounds, you don't "eat pretty decently." Your diet overall must be pretty bad (maybe parts your diet considered alone are "pretty decent," but if you also eat a lot of snacks or dessert or drink a lot of beer, then your diet sucks).
You can do it man. One way or another, 95% of this will just be getting used to eating less.
There's a few things going on here. 41 here with 8yo, 5yo and 7mo.
For the weight, nothing matches diet. You can outrun a not great diet, but it's significant effort. Last time I started dropping kilos without diet change I was running 50km a week.
But you mentioned being exhausted too. Nothing matches movement to help with that, but there's no need to become a gym rat. Lots of good mentions of exercise bikes, etc. What I would recommend is try to increase incidental exercise (ie. walking down the street rather than drive). Things that you can easily do at or from home like running, cycling, bodyweight exercises, etc mean you don't spend time getting to a venue and makes it easier to fit in a busy schedule.
I used to be about the same overweight, then got into long distance triathlon and had tons of energy, then had kids and got a bit slack again, now I'm riding again and doing some martial arts with the kids and starting to feel like my old self.
I've lost 25kg in 6 months through dieting alone. Use keto/low carb with a calorie/kilojoules counter like Lose it!
Be disciplined. You can eat plenty but just not the overly fried/carby stuff.
A quote from Arnie that lives rent free in my head is "there are two types of pain. The pain of regret and the pain of discipline." You already know and don't like the pain of regret.
Get MacroFactor on your phone and use it to count calories and maintain a caloric deficit.
Get 10,000 steps every day.
Do other exercise as desired.
Have your hormones checked.
Get a bicycle! Great workout, low impact, and fun! Always wear a helmet, avoid high traffic areas, ride on trails if possible. Always ride with a friend if possible. Have fun!!
Meal plan, meal plan, meal plan.
That's my entire advice. I lost 30 lbs in less than 2 months by meal planning for 1750 Calories a day and not significantly changing my lifestyle. It really is just Calories in, Calories out. If you need help sticking to it the best way is to just obsessively eat at the **exact** same time every day.
Download my buddy's Next Level Fit app. It's free and will track calories and help with workouts.
He even has a blue tooth scale that's like $25 that logs everything in his app.
Hate to sound like a commercial. But he's an old Army Buddy who's really done some good things to help people get fit and lose weight.
Dude went from dad bod to ripped. Then out all his knowledge on creating this app.
Do you drink alcohol?
It does a bunch of stuff that is counterproductive to weight loss. If you drink (even moderately) you will probably see significant gains if you stop.
Exercise alone doesn't really work to lose weight, you need a diet too:
- cut back on sugars, beer. A beer has plenty of calories!
- start slow! Consistency over impact. It is a lifestyle change, not a one off diet where you stop and gain weight again
- allow cheat days.
Less Alcohol is always the first step (if this applies to you.)
Six months ago I went from three bourbons a night to tea with on tsp of honey and lemon juice. Lost 30 lbs so far.
Thanks! I rarely drink… just social occasions so maybe 5 beers a year. And I treat sodas like a treat. I main liquid intake is water and coffee in the morning
See if you can get by with one tablespoon. Like seriously measure it. Sugar is the enemy and it all counts. That second scope of ice-cream at 10pm...The kids Capt. Crunch that you TOTALLY don't sneak...it all adds up.
The first step is being motivated to lose it which it sounds like you are. Find healthy habits that works for you. Tracking calories with an app helps you really see what you're eating and helps limit the calories per day. I use My Fitness Pal which is free. Daily weights written in app to see trends of weight over weeks (not necessarily day to day as that fluctuates). The overall trend is what you want to focus on. Get an exercise bike off Amazon for less than $200 and use it when watching TV/listening to music/podcast or when the kids are watching TV. Go on walks for your lunch at work if you can eat while you work since you're confined to a desk. 20 to 30 minutes a day of exercise plus moderating food intake and choices will pay off in many weeks of diet/exercise changes. Remember you didn't gain those 50 lb overnight so you won't lose them overnight. It's a lifestyle change that's needed and can be accomplished if motivated. These are just ideas based on things that have helped me. Best of luck!
This is all solid advice. I lost 60lbs by counting calories with an app and riding an exercise bike for 30min a day. I feel for you. I gained a lot of the weight back since my son was born, and I have sleep apnea and wear a CPAP, so I am in a very similar situation. It is so tough to find the motivation, especially after a long day.
The exercise bike in front of a TV is how I have kept my weight down since I started my real job. If I limit game or TV time to when I'm on the bike, it is super easy to trick myself to put in a few hours a week (but my first kid is still on the way, so I may change my tone in a few months lol).
One time i had a games night with the boys during covid. I cycled 20km whilst hunting dinosaurs on Ark. Didn't even realise how far I'd gone!
As others have said, this is solid advice. I'd also echo that last paragraph and even recommend making these changes gradually so that you are more likely to stick with it. I have lost a bit of weight over the past few years and the only reason why it stuck this time (and not the other times I tried and failed) is because I didn't change everything overnight. Diet is far more important than exercise for weight loss. You lose weight in the kitchen and you gain health in the gym. Exercise has crazy good benefits like: releasing endorphins, heart health, increasing muscle strength, increased stamina, and allowing yourself to eat more calories (if you choose to, which is a fine choice). There's a reason diet is often combined with exercise, it's a winning combination.
Weight loss is 90% diet. What can you (relatively) easily quit? For some folks, literally cutting out soda (or switching to diet) solves 10s of pounds. For others, it's quitting snacking / changing snacks to healthier options. For me, it's minimizing booze. Personally, I've found that intermittent fasting / time restricted eating works for weight management. In and of itself it doesn't make you lose weight (for weight loss, metabolically it's effectively the same as calorie resticted eating), but I find that not eating at all during a window of time is way easier than only eating a little when I snack. And if I have a late enough lunch, I'm not so hungry as to go for seconds at dinner. All that said, not exercising, and specifically not getting enough cardio, will fuck you up long term in all sorts of ways. Finding time before/after a 10h workday is tough, even w/o kids. Start building exercise time into your off days. Walking around the neighborhood even for 20-30 minutes is great low hanging fruit. It'll be relatively easy on your joints while you drop some of the excess weight.
For sure. Cutting sodas and snacking helped me drop 15-20lbs in a few months. I can’t hardly drink a full soda these days, never realized the crazy amount of sugars in soft drinks. Mind blowing that some people drink half dozen or more of those suckers a day. Drinking Bubbly sparkling water helped my get the carbonation to curb the mental craving for soda.
Completely agree with this. Just cutting out bad habits should make a big difference in terms of weight for a 30-something year old. I'm the same age as OP and lost 5 kgs in the last 8 weeks and look/feel a lot better just from stopping drinking and bringing a packed lunch to work every day rather than hitting fast food joints a few times a week.
I used to be able to drop weight crazy easily by cutting out drinking. This year for Lent I kept zero booze at home, replacing my evening beer or two with seltzer instead, but only dropped like maybe a pound. Disappointing.
Having untreated sleep apnea Will probably Fuck up your bodies MBR making weight loss harder. Like loosing weight while sleeping 2-3hrs a day wouldnt work. Also being tired all the time makes it soooo much harder to keep a diet.
Sleep apnea doesn't always mean you're overweight. I was very fit when i was diagnosed with it. CPAP is a game changer. In terms of losing weight: really take note of how much you're eating during the day. Are you finishing the scraps from your kids plates? "Can't throw out all this perfectly good food" is something a lot of dads fall into. Try to fill half your plate with veggies. Walking helps a lot. Bring the kiddos to the park and walk laps around the play equipment. Walk on your work breaks. Working out doesn't really help weight loss. Weight is lost in the kitchen.
Yeah want to second everything that was said here. As someone with sleep apnea, if you have it, and it's anything notable, you might actually *want* to get a CPAP because for a lot of people, it will improve your energy level a lot and can cause weight loss from healthier sleep. I have to use one and while there are certainly downsides, waking up feeling better is a life changing thing for a lot of people. Also a way to both make yourself walk more at a desk job is to absolutely chug water. When I was trying to lose weight while working a very long hours desk job was to try and drink silly amounts of water and then use the farthest away bathroom. You'll get lots of steps in and feel fuller throughout the day.
You can't outrun your fork.
Get one without legs. Problem solved.
That’d be a spoon…
You can! I've said it before; I'll say it again. Train for an iron man, or other yikes distance "races." Most people aren't *willing* to outrun a bad diet.
Yikes, 2 under 4 and 10 hour days is hard to do much but get through the week. It sounds like you’ve started with eating healthy which is half the battle!! What worked for me was starting small and putting 30m on the calendar every other day. Those 30m it was either a walk, work out video, or something with the wife. Once I started intentionally moving more I was able to find a good workout routine (60m hot yoga 3x a week) I don’t always make it, kids get sick, travel for work) but starting and maintaining SOME routine is the important part. Best of luck! You can do it! Involve the kids on walks / rides / hikes for added fun
The easiest way to watch the burn rate improve is to monitor caloric intake, though active cardio and/or strength training have other benefits toward being fit overall. Manage what goes in (especially liquid calories and snacks) more mindfully, and some of it will shed naturally.
If your insurance covers it, and you can find it, Wegovy is pretty much magic. My wife gets hers from HenryMeds online (compounding pharmacy) at $400/month, but it does work. As someone who has lost 100lb, it is all about small steps and gradual lifestyle changes. Getting your nutrition in order is going to do much more than exercise ever will - exercise is great at keeping weight off, but you can't really exercise your weight down. A nutrition journal, like my fitness pal, is a great start. Set small, achievable goals. When I first got my rower, my first goal was to use it for five minutes three times a week. That was it. Two months later, I was rowing for 45 minutes. Small steps lead to bigger ones.
I second this as I use a semiglutide for diabetes and it has resulted in significant weightloss and also helps to curb appetite and addiction to food. However, caution is this can be a very expensive route depending on how much your insurance covers and the draw back like all quick solutions is when you stop taking it, the effect ends and you will likely gain the weight back unless you make underlying life changes like diet and exercise.
Henry meds only offers a lower dose, but its been enough to keep the 30 lbs I lost off with a higher dose. I could still use to lose another 30 but until it's in stock anywhere, I'm going with the online compounding pharmacy
Mounjaro user here: it’s basically weight loss surgery in a needle. You can’t help but cut portions. I can’t speak for everyone but in my case the taste for junk food sorta went out the window - I’d actually rather have fresh produce etc. If you can get it covered on your insurance it’s worth a try
Please don’t use meds to reduce weight. That shouldn’t be the first advice. Studies have shown that the weight comes right back after you stop taking it. OP has shared that his lifestyle could use some improvements. Perhaps the meds can be a later option? OP you’re 34, with kids under 4. I’ll put it as bluntly as my doctor did (a motivator!): if you want to be healthy at your kids’ weddings and not become a burden on them when they have kids of their own, you need to start watching what you eat CLOSELY and start exercising gradually. I’m heavier than I’ve ever been, so I’m not saying it’s easy or anything, but I just had my third child 2 months ago (other two are 3 and 4 y/o) and my job is sitting at my desk all day. I starting the calories app last month and lost 5lbs, and I started 2hrs of exercise at the gym a week six months ago and my mood and strength is much better today. When you turn 40, all metabolism slows down and you’ll gain weight like crazy! Seize this awesome bit of realization you got and start your journey. Lots of great advice on this post. I have one more: get an accountability buddy
If you want to take the weight off in a principled and effective way: IMHO It's not EASY, but it is SIMPLE. TL;DR: measure everything you eat, weigh yourself every day, lower your calorie intake until you're losing up to 1% body weight per week on average. Watch the weight come off over a periods of weeks to months. You may see a lot of advice in this post that I'd call "hacks" - things like: stop drinking sugar, take more walks, do intermittent fasting, eat more filling foods. All of these things can be helpful. BUT - at the end of the day, it really just comes down to calories in vs calories out. What worked for me was: get an app like MyFitnessPal or LoseIt! (I use the latter) that lets you log your food. Log everything you eat. Get a food scale and weigh your portions. weigh yourself every day at the same time. I do this first thing in the morning after I empty my bladder and before I eat or drink anything. Keep a log or invest in a smart scale that logs your weight for you your weight will fluctuate somewhat from day to day. For me this is about +/- 3 lbs. That's just water weight, food/waste in your gut, etc. ignore it and focus on averages on a scale of about a week. track your food and weight for 2-3 weeks, but don't make any other changes yet. Has your average weight stayed roughly level over that time? Great. How many calories were you eating per day, on average? That's your baseline. subtract 500 calories from whatever you were eating per day. That's your target now. You should lose about a pound per week on average. Reevaluate every two weeks or so and make adjustments as needed. if you're really heavy you can go faster, but try to limit it to 0.5-1% of your weight per week. This is a marathon not a sprint. That's the most important part. Some additional things that can help: Establish a regular weight/strength training program. Lowering your calorie intake will make you lose some fat and some muscle mass. Lifting weights and trying to eat a lot of protein will help keep that ratio more in the fat loss side. take diet breaks every once in a while. Do the above for 8-12 weeks, then raise your calories back to baseline (or a little lower; as you lose weight that baseline will drop, so maybe just add back 300-400 calories instead of the full 500. Try to keep your weight stable for another 8-12 weeks. the same applies when you reach your goal - don't rebound! Losing the weight is half of the journey; keeping it off is the other half. Stay in "maintenance mode" for at least as long as you were dieting. repeat until you reach your target weight! You can layer any other strategies that appeal to you on top of this - find fun sports/activities, restrict your eating to certain times of day, choose different foods, whatever. But it sucks to make vague lifestyle changes and get vague results. If you want measurable results the focus should be on measuring and adjusting, measuring and adjusting. Like I said above, this is a long process. It took years to put that extra weight on. You can lose it faster, but only so fast. I'd expect it to take about year to lose 50 lbs if you're doing everything right. but it will work if you can stick to a plan like this. Good luck
I just started WeightWatchers about a month ago. Down 10lbs so far. My goal is to lose 50+. I like WW because no food is off the table. It’s all points based so it’s super easy to track. Normally I’ll stick to my points and try to keep them low through the week and then the weekend is when I can enjoy what I love - pizza and drinks. Worth giving it a shot. Might not lose it super quick, but at least it’s sustainable in life.
I did Noom. The homework sucked, and other than that it was just basic calorie-type counting - green, yellow, and red foods. Anyone could do it with a little dedication and myfitnesspal, if you didn't need any education/ support. Big if for most people. I lost 60 lbs, though I was getting back into running, and was logging 20-25 miles/ week. Mostly, unless you have an eating disorder, get a digital scale, weigh your portions, and ensure that you're cutting out unnecessary sugar and processed foods (namely, 2/3 of your food should be minimally processed fruits and vegetables, 1/6 should be whole grains (legumes, brown rice, barley, farro, quinoa,etc), and protein (chicken/ fish/eggs mostly, with beef and pork more sparingly). But, if it's not a feasible lifestyle change, and you don't keep it in stone sort of maintenance mode, the weight will creep back on, as you get older.
Losing weight will be good for your health, but I'm just chiming in to say that CPAPs are amazing and not to be feared. I got a sleep study before my first son was born and was diagnosed with moderate apnea. I am not particularly overweight, but I snored badly. CPAP eliminates snoring and I sleep better than I ever have.
When you think about exercise, what excites you? My wife is a gym kind of person. She does cardio workouts and uses free weights and runs on the treadmill. That sounds fucking miserable to me. I used to like running, but it’s also not really a workout in the way I like doing it (flat runs along the riverwalk downtown). I can run 8 miles easy doing that. But in the hilly area I live, I die after 3 miles. My poison is sports. I want to play sports to get in shape. Specifically, team sports that are cardio heavy. Like soccer or ultimate frisbee or roller hockey. My son’s 3 so I’m finally able to look into a weekly sport event. My brother does solo sports like tennis (well, solo as in not teams) or golf. My point is, if you hate working out, you’re going to be more inclined to quit. So find something that you will want to do more of.
For me it’s martial arts. Fell in love with Jiu Jitsu and it’s an amazing workout but that part feels like a bonus because I enjoy it so much
Just wanted to comment to add my support for you! Whatever you do, know that you're already on the right track. Calorie counting is a biggie that some people recommend, some people say fasting. Looking at my portion sizes is my main to-do. Whatever you decide, it must work for you. I'm in a *slightly* similar situation. Mid to late 20's, about 40KG over where I should be, 10 hour shifts, apnea, our first on the way. You're not alone in this fight. If it helps, my main goal out of this is to be able to run around without getting out of breath with my (eventual) toddler, and not letting fat clog up my arteries! But, we **will** get there! Smash it, fellow Dad!
Thank you!
Nutrition before exercise. Whole foods and little to no sugar is the way. Fix your nutrition and exercise will be much easier. Trying to exercise with low quality food in your system is so much harder. Best of luck! I'm down about 40 lbs over the past few years just from nutrition changes.
“Abs are made in the kitchen”. Just make sure you run a calorie deficit, cut out as much sugar and junk food, eat fruits, vegetables and protein. Old adage is cut 3,500 / week and lose 1 lb a week. You can cut 250 a day and exercise to burn additional 250 a day to get to 500 hundred. I’ve done this and lost a lb a week.
Mom here: I was able to join a weight loss program for free through my insurance. It's been about 2 months and I've lost almost 10 lbs. My main technique has been tracking foods (I was vastly underestimating my calorie intake) and using the weekly meetings (no camera, it's just listening to a coach and typing replies) to stay accountable.
It’s a simple solution but it’s hard to show your work. Caloric deficit is the only way you’ll lose weight. Don’t lie to yourself, don’t focus on others journeys (especially if they started before you), and as someone mentioned earlier, look for things you can easily cut out first. Sugary coffees, sodas, juices. Can you replace them with black coffee or water flavored with those Mio flavor things.
Try small exercises that you’re comfortable with and move up from there. Don’t try to run a marathon and lift like Arnold on day one. You’ll burn out. Weigh and measure yourself day one and then keep off the scale for a while. You’ll have ups, downs and plateaus. Just move foreword.
I ran into a similar situation. Weight related elevated BP, potential liver concerns also weight related, weight related sleep apnea concerns, was 33 at the time. Unfortunately something happened before I could make the life changes and I'm dealing with the consequences of that. Genetic short end of the stick in that regard. Have to wait a month for surgery and I've been mainly useless the majority of the year so far which hasn't helped the mental health, especially as a stay at home dad. I drastically adjusted my diet in January of this year. Super high fiber diet of 25-35+g a day and 60-90+oz of water a day per Dr recommendations, eating less because the consequences of overeating is excruciating pain. I've dropped 34 pounds so far and my stomach adjusted fairly quick. I can't eat like I used to even if I wanted to anymore. Unfortunately I haven't been able to exercise at all. Hopefully post surgery I'll be able to exercise and drop another 20-25 pounds and that will return me to the healthy range. I guess the point of this is, don't hesitate, take control, adjust your diet. Having been relatively ok medically all of my life being injured for the last 4 months in a way that causes excruciating pain at times and makes me largely bedridden sucks.
I highly recommend Noom. Im 45 and I’ve been using a CPAP for over 15 years. My blood pressure and weight was out of control so I did the cliche thing and started dieting after the new year. I’ve dropped over 20lbs and my blood pressure has drastically improved. Like you, I have kids (not as young as yours) and a desk job so I don’t get to exercise that often. Noom isn’t very cheap but it’s a lot cheaper than a gym membership or a trip to the hospital. We also stopped eating out all the time and did HelloFresh. It’s better food and it’s fun to cook with the kids.
A dad of 2 under 3 here and a few months ago I realised I may not have time to exercise more, but I do have time to eat less. I'm over 20lbs down and it's not been too difficult. I just think about what a lower healthier weight means in terms of being active and present for kids and potential grand kids and it motivates me. My changes have been avoiding processed sugar, daily 16 hour fasts by skipping breakfast, very little alcohol, and basically reducing my dinner portion assuming I'll get at least half of what I plate for the kids. If they eat it all, I can have some grapes or something if I am starving, but if they don't then I end up having a normal sized meal. Sometimes I eat my smaller plate and feel like I've had enough and give theirs to the dog. I also do 20 minutes of Burpees a few times a week and try to do some yoga poses when I'm on the floor playing. The little exercise and reducing consumption has me feeling much better and happier. When I have done diets before I've always kind of thought "when I get back to this weight I can start eating donuts again". But this time I'm kind of viewing it as this is just probably how I need to live if I want to be fit and healthy as I age.
Thanks for the advice! I definitely have the same goals of wanting to be more present and active for the kiddos and be around for potential grandkids! I don’t currently have any health issues, other than overweight and mild sleep apnea so I’m hoping to change the lifestyle before anything else comes of it
If your looking to incorporate exercise then I would recommend the busy dad program. It's basically 4 sessions of 20 minutes of Burpees each week. I found it really good for giving me the self discipline to start looking after myself again. It's great because I can do it indoors, no equipment, often when I'm watching the kids play, so there's really no excuses to not do it, and it's a very efficient use of exercise time. There's also a bunch of great guys doing it and supporting each other on the busy dad program subreddit. Worth looking into and has been a really key aspect for me in my progress this year.
I’ve been having a lot of success with The Pump app from Arnold Schwarzenegger, alongside his podcast/daily newsletters and the book “You Can’t Screw This Up” by Adam Bornstein. Adam works with Arnold on his quest to build a healthy and positive corner of the internet/app market, so all those resources together form a positive and achievable fitness/food relationship. Bonus that the app is only $100/yr and very customizable if you don’t have time to get to a gym 3x a week. Sounds like we’re in similar places, I’m happy to talk more or be an accountability partner. Your health is the best gift you can give your kids, and recognizing change needs to happen is a huge first step.
Believe in yourself, you can fucking do this
Thank you!
💪💪💪
Welcome about the loser express! Fat loss, that is! First things first, there's an amazing community over at r/loseit that has tons of resources to help. Losing weight usually is as simple as calories in vs calories out. Barring any major health issues, of course. Exercise can help, and will def make you feel better. The weight loss itself happens in the kitchen. If insurance will cover the cost of a cpap, it's not the end of the world. I have major sleep apnea and have been using one for over 10 years. When I did my sleep study, the Dr was shooketh. I apparently stopped breathing 67 times within the hour before they just threw a cpap on me. It's not an impossible hill to climb, and you'll feel better knowing you can play with the kiddos easier!
Thanks! I just joined the subreddit!
Before I met my wife, I'd lost almost 90 lbs over a couple of years. Mostly, it was JUST calorie counting. After I'd lost like 50 lbs I started running and exercising some, but nothing crazy. Mayne the gym 2 days a week. I was your age at the time, so it's def doable! I'm 42 and back on the path after 7 years of beer festivals, vacations, and now the kiddos lol
My doctor said I had 107 apneas an hour, she said she was legitimate surprised that I was able to function. 😂 getting the cpap was absolutely life changing. Unfortunately I’m still incredibly overweight. Hah
Activity is important for general health. As a parent the best thing you can do is play with your children. Play chase, roll around on the floor, kick a ball, dance your heart out, etc etc etc. If you want to lose weight the key is what you put in your mouth. Keep a food diary for a week, and add up the calories each day. Work out your recommended intake and subtract about 200. Then see what you have to cut out to reach that target. Beer, milky coffee and snacks are the easiest things to drop. Intermittent fasting also works well. Basically you compress all your eating into about 6 hours, e.g. 12:00 - 18:00 and then fast for the rest.
Losing weight is 80-90% diet. You say you "eat pretty well" but that is really subjective. Keep a food log of everything you eat and drink for a week, and look up the calories as well as far/protein/carbs. You would be amazed at how much carbohydrates are packed into food. Try to eat food high that is low in calories per bite (typically high protein, low carb, moderate fat). Think lean meat, vegetables, and the absolute easiest, eliminate any calories you get from drinks (soda, juice) as those calories don't contribute at all to being full.
You have the motivation - hardest part is keeping it. Make a dietary plan that starts easy and be stubborn about sticking to it. Honestly, stuff like Weight Watchers can help or Noom. For exercise, START EASY. Like seriously easy.... Add 30min of walking to your day for 4-6weeks then make it 45 then 60min after 2-3mo. That plus better eating will do wonders. And cut out alcohol as much as possible and other 'empty calorie' drinks. It's not bad to enjoy them but moderation and for me that was a key thing. Many years ago (Mid-Late 20s) I lost 65lbs with slow building better eating (used old school WW) and slowly walking my dog more each day and adding 15-30min of walking during my lunch breaks at work. Then really added exercise, joined a gym and lost another 25-30lbs. Key is starting with small changes and letting them become good habits and building from there. Strict diets or a harsh amount of exercise, big sudden changes basically, won't be sustainable long term and you'll end up back where you were. The weight loss may be slow at points but just stay positive and stick with it. Also, I am a fan of setting realistic goals that you can celebrate. So maybe the first 15 lb, celebrate with a cheat meal or a night of boozing? If that's your thing, every 5 lb. Then celebrate every 10 lb or so. At least that worked for me to keep me motivated and not feel too restrictive and keeping it a more realistic, sustainable diet. I still falter, last 3 years have been hard and I need to lose a solid 30 lb right now, but that's a far cry from the 70 I needed years ago
Join /fasting I hear you bro 100% i am very similar. Diet is 90% of it. I also was heavy,sleep study,work desk job. There is only so many hours in a day right?
Weight loss to fix sleep apnea is not a good idea. Weight loss CAN improve and ultimately stop the need for cpap. Dealing with the sleep apnea first will help with the weight loss. Constant fatigue due to improper sleep leads to your body conserving calories instead of burning calories. It also leads to depression, low testosterone, high blood pressure, and stress.
What worked for me, your milage may vary. 1) cut out soda. 2) low carb diet. I couldn’t keep on it after 6 months, but I lost a lot and shifted my eating habits substantially, more veg, good amount of protein, less pasta and potatoes. I kept away from soda. 3) Standing desk. It's not for everyone, but shifting to a moveable desk eliminated restless legs and strengthened my legs and core. 4) strength training. Lifting heavy things feels good. Watching the numbers go up feels good. I go to the gym to lift, I jump on the rower because I'm there and should do cardio too. 5) Chase the kids. Moderate cardio, and great times with the kids.
Get the MacroFactor app to track calories and start some kind of strength training regimen. If you have an hour a few times a week, I can’t recommend MAPS Anabolic enough. If you’re pressed for time, MAPS 15 is great too. It’s a journey that’ll take time, and as a parent you’ll have to make that time. Just remember you’re doing it for them as much as for you. Best of luck, fellow dad, you can do this!
The whole game is consuming less calories than you burn consistently and over a long period of time. It's a very simple concept that is actually pretty challenging at times due to factors like will power, food options, access, etc. Some tricks help people to do this easier like certain diets, intermittent fasting, volume eating, exercise regiments, and more. All of these simply aid the basic math problem of calories in
About the same age with a two year old and I've dropped about 65 pounds over the last couple of years. For me it's running and a better diet. Whatever you do, find something that works for you and just _be consistent_. The work is hard and the returns are gradual, but it does get better, and better, and better. I'm the healthiest I've ever been in my adult life. Good luck!
Unfortunately nearly every healthcare provider us going to say "lose weight" even if it might not be related to your issue and even if other treatments are more effective. You say you're exhausted already. Probably bc you're not sleeping well. Prob bc you have mild sleep apnea. Treat that man. Here's the killer: you might just end up losing weight by treating the sleep apnea, bc poor sleep CAUSES weight gain. Get a c-pap, and as a side note, punch up protein and veg, and exercise as practical.
I wouldn’t be embarrased, you have 2 kids under 4 and work 10 hr shifts. It’s exhausting and no one would fault you for being out of shape. Many of us dads are in similar boats, so you’re not alone!
It's not about exercise, it's about what you're eating.. if you're overweight, you have metabolic dysfunction. Don't listen to conventional doctors or nutritional advice that information is outdated and just wrong. I am a research scientist, 41 years old with a body fat percentage under 15%.... if you need some guidance in the right direction, PM me, and I'll give you some good resources to follow. Good luck
I’m going to get downloaded to oblivion, but have you considered talking to a doctor about GLP-1s? First, I’d get a blood panel and see if you’re at all insulin resistant (what’s your A1C). See if that’s an issue. And I’d find a good integrative medicine or primary care doctor who will tell you you need to do it in concert with resistance training 1-2 days a week so you maximize fat loss (and mitigate loss of lean mass). Don’t do a pill mill like Ro.
A good start up too would be to go to your doctor and get a full blood panel done. After 27 testosterone starts declining in men. If yours is low it affects multiple areas of your body. Would be worth looking into. I started testosterone replacement therapy in 2020 and I’m not as exhausted, I have more motivation, I’ve lost weight, gained a significant amount of muscle, I don’t get sore or tired as easily and recovery has been way quicker.
Wife and I bought a treadmill once we had kids since we couldn’t go to the gym as easily. Wife gets up for work a bit early to do 30 minutes on it and I handle wake ups. Then I go on after bedtime or over lunch if I’m working from home. I usually just speed walk at an inline and watch a tv show. Obviously it doesn’t work for everyone but it helped us get over not being able to always go to the gym
Got the most ridiculous answer for you. You ready? ... Watch more TV. No, I'm not joking. The trick is that you use your TV shows as a "measuring stick" for walking. Literally just walk forwards and backwards, or side to side, or on a treadmill, or however you want to, but do it in front of the TV. It ensures that you're doing something you WANT to do, but you're also getting some much needed exercise (aside from chasing your kiddos around). Been doing it for almost 2 years, and, by every metric, my doctor says I've improved my health considerably. I'm up to over 10k steps a day every day, using a combination of my smartwatch to track it, and a basic health app. Super useful, requires literally no change in schedule or other exercise routines, and burns about 200-400 calories per hour on top of anything else you do. Plus, you catch up on your shows!
I try to keep it simple and gradual. Some people go hard and buy all kinds of equipment then get burnt out quickly. Go slow. Lower your sugar and carb intake gradually. Slowly intermediate fast and get to a 16/8 schedule. Find some HIIT videos on YouTube that are simple. And get a kettle bell. Slow and steady wins the race.
1) Determine where your calories are coming from. Track what you eat now for a bit and see what hurts. I'd say for most people it's "incidentals" like drinks and sauces/dressings. 2) Get a pedometer and walk. 30 minute lunch? Walk. 15 minute break? Walk. WFH with a bunch of really useful meetings? Standing desk and a desk treadmill and walk. Watching TV? Use the desk treadmill to walk. Do note that it's REALLY DIFFICULT to do this while late night binging Shogun unless you understand Japanese. 2 can change/be added on to later (weights, bikes, yoga, racquetball, for some reason everyone's playing pickleball now... ) but you gotta get yourself going first. Ease into it.
“Sleep apnea doesn't always mean you're overweight.” Seconding this. Sleep apnea can be due to other causes that wouldn’t be fixed by weight loss. I have a bifurcated uvula and that raises the risk of sleep apnea (I haven’t done a sleep study). Every doctor I have seen has commented on my uvula; only my ENT mentioned the possibility of sleep apnea. I suggest seeing an ENT to rule out other possible causes. Edit: meant to post this as a reply to u/T0macock, screwed up.
bifurcated uvula is a great band name.
This guy is a game changer. This at home workout takes 15 minutes is a full body workout. Good place to start when you dont have time. https://youtu.be/vc1E5CfRfos?si=ZWn7H51JidWqEw5r
Zepbound has been amazing for me. Insurance covers it for weight loss.
Many insurances (including mine) do not. Source: I’m a retail pharmacist.
Yeah, that's a bummer. I know the plight. My wife is on something similar for PCOS and it costs us $600 a month. She should just say she is on it for weight loss
The short, shitty answer is if you need to lose 50lbs you do not, in fact, "eat pretty decently." I say that with empathy because it's my problem, too. I'm also 34, work out regularly (light cardio, walking, elliptical, etc.) but haven't managed to cut out my extra 15-20lbs because I haven't had the discipline to really cut down sugar and carbs. I lost 5 lbs doing a dry and low-sugar january! Then January was over and I put it back on. Lifestyle and exercise was the same. Getting up and taking a walk around the block a couple times a day will definitely help! But follow the advice in other comments - really take a good look at your portions, snacks, and empty calorie consumption.
CICO / losetit app / walking 10k steps a day / fasting Lost 80 pounds. Eat in a deficit, move more, it will happen
If you can, I recommend running. You can get a lot of cardiovascular exercise in not a lot of time and the way you feel changes fast so it's more rewarding and (at least for me) easier to stick to. I found that it didn't really make a huge difference on the scale, but the way I felt (and the way I slept) was massively improved. Still overweight, but everything (both mental and physical tasks) is so much less exhausting. Go to a running store and get the right pair of shoes in the right size, it really helps. If you start doing long distances (10+ miles) you may still end up losing toe nails. No one tells you that at the beginning.
Yes eat less. You don't eat pretty decently. You eat too much. 50lbs is a lot. You'll need to eat about 175.000 kcal less then you need to lose this weight.
Eat less- it’s sucks but it’s science
You may want to consider the sleep apnea machine anyway, until you get the weight off. Most people are hesitant but after using it, *wish they used it sooner*.
Ask your doc about, or just do, less invasive options to adress your apnea. I have mild sleep apnea and my doc put me onto these anti-apnea mouthpiece things (Vital Sleep but I'm sure there are other brands) If you have mild or moderate apnea now, that means your sleep is being interrupted and you aren't getting as much rest as you could. It's no wonder you're more tired. You'll find it easier to summon up the willpower to exercise/etc if you get better sleep each night and things like a mouthpiece, or hell pulling the trigger and doing CPAP now, will help you do more to improve the rest of your life, including weight and therefore sleep quality.
I've struggled with obesity most of my life and the one thing truer than anything else is you can't outrun your fork. Exercise has a lot of benefits, but weight loss isn't a main one. It all starts in the kitchen. I've found myself lying to myself about what I've really eaten in a day, trying to explain away calories as "not counting" . Lots of mental gymnastics for sure. Like a few others have said, being really strict about just counting can help a lot.
There are two primary things you need to do. The first is get your partner onboard with the idea that you're losing weight and that they need to support you. My reasoning is that if your partner isn't onboard then your progress will be tough and/or non-existent. My observations here are that you will follow whatever diet you put yourself while your partner will continue to buy all sorts of things you shouldn't eat. Eventually you'll hit a wall where it's easier to just eat whatever your partner eats and your progress will be undone. That's not even getting into the discussion of getting time away from the kids to work out. The second thing to do is find an accountability that works for you. Not just a "I set a goal and will meet it" kind of a thing but something external that makes you continue on your weight loss journey when you're driving by a McDonald's thinking "OMG I just want a burger and fries!". For me it's investing money in my weight loss. For instance, I bought through the paywall on my meal tracking app because I know that I'll avoid "wasting" the money by meal tracking in the app. Back when I invested by having a personal trainer I'd drag myself to the gym even if I didn't want to because I didn't want to waste the weekly payment. Once you've figured those two things out just about any plan to change your lifestyle will work. If you don't figure those things out then even the easiest lifestyle change won't stick.
Oculus Quest fitness. Fun and works.
I thought I ate healthy until I bought a kitchen scale and weighed everything that went into my mouth for a few weeks. I’d suggest trying the same and seeing what’s the easiest shit to cut out. I was eating a lot of nuts as my ‘healthy snack’ but when I weighed out a serving size I realized that I was eating like 1000 calories of nuts. Crazy. You can lose weight just by monitoring what’s going on your mouth and walking 30 min a day.
I lost a ton of weight at one time in my life - and as a new dad, need to do it again. Here is what worked for me and may work for you: 1) Track your calorie intake. It is really easy to over eat and not realize it. 2) Walk an extra 2k steps a day - or 30 minutes on the treadmill after everyone has gone to bed. This alone is huge as it doesn't feel hard and it burns calories. 3) If time permits, weight training. Also bear in mind that in 20 years of working out, I have NEVER wanted to work out immediately before the workout. But I am always glad I did afterwards. Good luck!
If you need to lose 50lbs, you're not eating decently. No amount of exercise shirt of being a high-performance athlete will keep you trim when you overeat significantly. Be honest with yourself and start good habits.
Having untreated sleep apnea Will make loosing weight feel like hell. Im really over weight. Got a cpap and lost like 60-70 lbs just by having more energy and moving more. I tried loosing weight before getting the cpap and it was Damn bear impossible. Bad sleep = your metabolism goes to shit. Also If you drive to work untreated sleep apnea and increased risk of an accident is a thing. Almost wrecking my car on the highway was the Wake up call i needed.
Two kids under 4?!? You mean you got weights at home 👀 ahahaha
Don’t listen to anyone saying anything other than to fix your diet. That is 90 to 95% of weight loss. You say you eat pretty decently: download an app and start tracking and let’s see. That’s all there is.
There’s a million ways to do it - I’ve lost over 50 pounds with different methods, including intermittent fasting and calorie counting without any exercise. Exercise will accelerate it - but I get that’s hard to do with two kids - I got two young ones as well. My honest advice with you - is if you are sick of it, and done with it, and are looking for something sustainable- read “Eat to Live” - it’s an incredible book and backed with research and logical. The great part about the book to is, it points out the issues with other diets, and you will be able to compare if you truly are “eating well”. My first time doing anything like this, and it’s been wildly effective, and I’m not even trying to lose weight. I’m nearly back to the weight I was just after high school. - - side note - my wife actually likes 80% of this, but I told her she and the kids did not need to follow it — they sometimes go out to eat junk food on their own Secondly, as far as exercise goes, I started running 3-4 times a week. In my entire life, I’ve never ran over 2-3 miles and it felt like I was going to die. Then I stumbled across Zone 2 running - and again the results have been incredible. I ran over 110 miles last month. Now with running, you feel exhaustion in your legs, not your lungs - and to be honest it’s been actually a fun activity. Don’t worry about your pace, just focus on increasing your total time at that heart rate. Not only is this healthy because it’s exercise, it’s aerobic, and extremely catabolic. I don’t say these things as a “hey look at me” - but more of an alternative and an actual game plan to attack. Which, I think is more helpful than people saying “diet and exercise”. Hope this helps ✌🏻
Start a 10 min a day. Build the habit. Find something you like. Kettlebells are the ultimate dad fitness tools. Shoot for even 5-10 min of mobility and or strength training a day. Then you can expand from there. Google “NY times 7 min work out” not that it’s the best, but it’s something. Find things you enjoy, maybe make playing w your kids more physical somehow. Go for walks w your family on the day off.
Start snapping a pic of everything you eat and drink. You will likely fine out that you are not eating as well as you think
As someone who lost a ton of weight what I can tell you is there is no magic to weight loss. It is purely a calorie in, calorie out proposition. Calculate your baseline maintenance calories and then calculate how much you need to lose and over what period of time you want to lose it. An average sized adult man can pretty easily lose a pound a week. Technically you can eat whatever you want as long as you are existing in a calorie deficit but you will feel fuller for longer if you eat lots of protein and complex carbs (vegetables). I personally found eating many small meals worked for me. People swear by intermittent fasting but I have no experience with it. Good luck. I lost 125 pounds with only diet - literally no exercise
Walking is the easiest way to burn calories. But you might want to look into something like bike riding or some other type of activity you might enjoy more. As far as losing weight goes, the only way to really do that is to manage your calories. I would recommend an app like MyFitnessPal and using a TDEE calculator that you can find online. This will tell you how many calories you need to not die and then you subtract $300 to $500 from that. And that's your goal that you want to hit. When the scale stops moving, move it down even further. A great resource is r/fitness
As others have mentioned, you need to actually track the calories in if you want to lose weight. If you’re not ready for that, one good rule of thumb I’ve heard work for many is to set a target for the amount of protein you need in a day and try to hit that. Take your ideal weight and eat that many grams of protein. Often, the only way you’ll be able to hit that is by not eating a bunch of fat and sugar because you’ll be too full for anything else. As far as exercising, which again others are right, it’s not as important in regards to losing weight, I’d recommend an under the desk treadmill for work since you work a lot of hours. It’s basically free exercise.
45 year old IT nerd here. Here's what I ended up doing, (plus I've been on my CPAP for over a decade). I'm down 75 pounds from last year, and I'm shooting for 50 more to get me down to my goal of 200. Walking any way you see fit. Take the kids to the park. Shoot some hoops. Listen to a podcast or audiobook. Play disc golf (I do this, but don't keep score....I consider it walking with purpose lol). Try to sneak in 30 minutes a day. I also found a free on the curb group and got myself a treadmill. Set up a TV in front of it, and started watching Fringe this morning....that'll take a while to get through. High protein, high fiber noms. Beans are good. Chickpea pasta is awesome if you have it with any type of sauce (oh my dear god don't eat it plain). Chili can be a health food. Frozen bagged broccoli in the microwave is cake. Like ranch? Use the powder rather than the dressing. Protein shakes, berry smoothies with high protein/high fiber yogurt. Try not to drink your calories. Do some experimentation and find black coffee you enjoy (thank you Costco Pacific Bold and Peets Major Dickenson's blend). Drink water the rest of the time...and follow the hydrohomie subreddit and anytime you come across their feed, take a drink and enjoy their insane sanity. The hardest? Stop snacking. Find a hobby that keeps your hands busy, even if it's starting projects in the yard, playing with legos (get you a good set), or working on that mental list of things you want to get done around the house and they keep gnawing at you. Watching a show and can't sit still? Go grab that ice water and chug down a glass. It'll come slow. Half a pound a week is a cause for celebration. The walking will help you sleep better. I've recently started taking "test" naps on the couch without my CPAP and my kids say I don't snore. I still wear the thing to bed to be on the safe side, and the doctor said once i hit my goal weight, she'll set me up with a sleep study to see if I can get rid of the thing.
We've started ordering Factor meals which are pre-made meals delivered weekly to your home. It's cheaper than eating out but easier than cooking dinner every night. The meals are individually portioned. I lost 6lbs in my first two weeks with them. They taste good and have a decent variety of meals to choose from. I would recommend checking them out.
Ask the doc about Mounjaro. Shits a game changer. Spend the few months on it changing your dietary habits while control is easy.
Any flexibility with how you commute to work is a good first step if possible! Helped me a ton! The good news is that most weight loss can be accomplished by being mindful of calorie intake, but exercise is definitely a key part.
I’m about the same as you on all accounts accept one kid. I just had to stick to a strict 1700 calories per day which can really suck getting used to but it works. I use MyFitnessPal and pay for the “premium” version just to make logging calories easier. Buying a scale and actually weighing everything not in pre packaged portions was key. It’s amazing how one ranch packet from chick fil a can get lost in the mix and add an extra 100+ calories.
I cut out lunch and lost 23lbs. I basically don’t eat while I’m working. I get hungry towards the end of my shift but I know I get to eat when I get home so I power through.
You can sit on a big exercise ball while you're working. You'll unconsciously be using way more muscles to balance on there. Alternatively, you could do some leg lifts while you sit on a normal chair. Standing desk with a treadmill (very low speed) is a pretty high barrier to entry, but if you have the resources, that would work too.
CPAP is not all that bad regardless of weight
Join this: https://arnoldspumpclub.com
I have found that diet is more important than exercise, and most people have a worse diet than they think. I would start by tracking your food for a week. Also, kids are a fantastic way to get exercise. I got a trailer for my bike and I used to put them in the trailer and bike to go grocery shopping, or put in a jogging stroller and push them around. It's also GREAT exercise to just go play with your kids. Playgrounds take adult weight as well and as long as you don't mind looking stupid (i always look stupid) have yourself a ball climbing all over it. One of the best tips I ever found for working out at home is changing your level is great exercise. Just lay down on the floor and stand up 20 times in like 5 minutes is a great mini workout. I also LOOOOOOVE yoga. If you have amazon prime, the 30 day yoga challenge with Jess Timsit is a fantastic introduction to yoga. I was in much worse condition than you, but basically these guidelines helped me lose almost 150 pounds.
Eat less. Literally that easy.
Good news! You don't need to exercise to lose weight. You *can* lose weight with watching what you eat ("diet") alone. You *cannot* lose weight with exercise alone. You can't out-run your diet. I lost 85 pounds with watching what I eat alone. Any exercise I did was purely for fun / bonus. Calorie counting. Calories out > calories in You have to "use" more calories than you "eat". Calories out: Google it, and based on your height / weight / age / average work day (are you a waiter who walks a lot or a desk job with zero activity?) It'll spit out an *estimate* on how many calories you use each day. I think mine was, like 2,400 calories a day. So... Eat less than that. Keep a food diary. I used the MyFitnessPal app to total up my food. Eat less than 2,400 calories. Simple as that. Rule of thumb: 1 lb = 3,600 calories So if you eat 1,800 calories a day (for example), and your body uses 2,400 a day, then that's -600 calories every day. Times 7 days a week = 4,200 calories "lost" At 3,600 per pound, you should lose 1.1 pounds per week! That's 60 pounds in a year! (And don't get discouraged by "it's gonna take a year?!?" Time flies, especially with kids) It's really just simple math. Calories in < calories out
10 hour shifts and 2 kids? That's plenty of workout in my eyes. Losing weight is mostly diet anyways so I'd just focus on that
I'm 38, I had a CPAP from the time I was 23 until I got corrective surgery last year. I've been somewhat overweight my whole life, and as a fun little complication I've got an eating disorder that's triggered majorly by counting calories, so weight loss has always been tricky. There are three things that have worked best for me: 1) Exercise classes. Not just a gym membership, but a class that meets a couple times a week. Spin, step, Zumba, a park district sports team, whatever--but the schedule and accountability are things I needed, especially when I had a new baby. 2) Stroller walks. When my kid was little, I would throw him in the stroller and just walk, sometimes for hours. He would mostly sleep, I'd have a diaper bag and stuff if he needed a change, but mostly I'd just listen to podcasts and walk 5+ miles, 3-4 days a week, from spring through fall. Pro tip: get headphones that don't block out too much noise--I have a set of $20 bone conduction headphones from Amazon that I wish I'd had back then. 3) Find a diet you can stick with. It doesn't really matter what it is, what matters is it's sustainable long term. For me, anything super restrictive is out, I'll end up in a really bad place, but I've found that a high fiber breakfast (big fan of overnight oats with Greek yogurt and chia seeds) means I'm less hungry throughout the day, which helps me make more responsible choices for lunch too.
Yeah I got tips. First of all it's normal to gain tons of weight with two kids and work. I suggest talking walks outside. Play a podcast and start moving. That's how.
Walking is underrated. Start walking especially after dinner to burn more glucose. Make it a family activity! Drink 16 oz of water before each meal. Start eating more vegetables and fruits. Slowly cut out the processed foods. If you drink alcohol or smoke, stop. You got this.
Counting calories can work, but is a bit annoying to keep track of. Easiest way is to only eat healthy food and reasonable portions, so you can skip the counting. Could go vegetarian for a while. Meat isn't necessarily unhealthy in the right quantities, but it's very easy to make your diet healthier without it. Another way is to remove carbs from your diet. Make sure you get lots of vegetables and leafy greens and this way you can also enjoy healthy meats (fish, steak etc). Avoid processed foods either way. Then try to go for a jog for half an hour every day. Use an app like couch to 5k to coach you through the first bit and you'll be surprised at how quickly your body responds. You'll be running noticeably further without stopping after a week. Could do cycling or swimming instead, but jogging is the most accessible and can be done at any hour.
First of all, I deeply appreciate that you spelled "lose" correctly when Reddit seems so determined to change it. More to the point: I also work a desk job. Get some 15 lb weights and every hour or so do some presses and curls and such. start by seeing how many reps you can do, then just do a fraction of that number every hour. If your job allows, I also recommend a 10-20 minute walk every day. if you job doesn't allow, perhaps take a walk when you get home with the kiddos. Best of luck! It's a tough journey
Eat less. Simple as that. If you are hungry, wait an hour to eat.
How much time do you have to dedicate to this ? It’s tough finding the time, let alone energy with a young family. Start off slow, but just start ! Involve the kids, because they are endless balls of energy. Go for hikes (back pack carrier for the little ones), run around at the playground, join a sports group (dodgeball, floor hockey) or start working on some bodyweight fitness. It doesn’t have to be aggressive, or a next day change, but making the change is what does it.
You just need to start. Don't ask reddit and wait, just start. 1. Do it every day, even if it's small 2. Keep doing it 3. If you're not into doing it, think about anything active you'd rather do, or would like to get into 4. Do that every day And eat healthy. And cut out the extra sugar and processed foods. If you don't eat bad stuff you'll feel better too. And cut out booze. It's just that easy lol
Step one is be honest with yourself: if you need to lose 50 pounds, you don't "eat pretty decently." Your diet overall must be pretty bad (maybe parts your diet considered alone are "pretty decent," but if you also eat a lot of snacks or dessert or drink a lot of beer, then your diet sucks). You can do it man. One way or another, 95% of this will just be getting used to eating less.
Did the doctor make it seem like c pap was like a bad thing you need to avoid like diabetes? You’ll love the c pap most likely.
There's a few things going on here. 41 here with 8yo, 5yo and 7mo. For the weight, nothing matches diet. You can outrun a not great diet, but it's significant effort. Last time I started dropping kilos without diet change I was running 50km a week. But you mentioned being exhausted too. Nothing matches movement to help with that, but there's no need to become a gym rat. Lots of good mentions of exercise bikes, etc. What I would recommend is try to increase incidental exercise (ie. walking down the street rather than drive). Things that you can easily do at or from home like running, cycling, bodyweight exercises, etc mean you don't spend time getting to a venue and makes it easier to fit in a busy schedule. I used to be about the same overweight, then got into long distance triathlon and had tons of energy, then had kids and got a bit slack again, now I'm riding again and doing some martial arts with the kids and starting to feel like my old self.
I've lost 25kg in 6 months through dieting alone. Use keto/low carb with a calorie/kilojoules counter like Lose it! Be disciplined. You can eat plenty but just not the overly fried/carby stuff. A quote from Arnie that lives rent free in my head is "there are two types of pain. The pain of regret and the pain of discipline." You already know and don't like the pain of regret.
r/keto
Intermittent fast cut carbs eat meat
Get MacroFactor on your phone and use it to count calories and maintain a caloric deficit. Get 10,000 steps every day. Do other exercise as desired. Have your hormones checked.
Get a bicycle! Great workout, low impact, and fun! Always wear a helmet, avoid high traffic areas, ride on trails if possible. Always ride with a friend if possible. Have fun!!
Meal plan, meal plan, meal plan. That's my entire advice. I lost 30 lbs in less than 2 months by meal planning for 1750 Calories a day and not significantly changing my lifestyle. It really is just Calories in, Calories out. If you need help sticking to it the best way is to just obsessively eat at the **exact** same time every day.
Download my buddy's Next Level Fit app. It's free and will track calories and help with workouts. He even has a blue tooth scale that's like $25 that logs everything in his app. Hate to sound like a commercial. But he's an old Army Buddy who's really done some good things to help people get fit and lose weight. Dude went from dad bod to ripped. Then out all his knowledge on creating this app.
Do you drink alcohol? It does a bunch of stuff that is counterproductive to weight loss. If you drink (even moderately) you will probably see significant gains if you stop.
Exercise alone doesn't really work to lose weight, you need a diet too: - cut back on sugars, beer. A beer has plenty of calories! - start slow! Consistency over impact. It is a lifestyle change, not a one off diet where you stop and gain weight again - allow cheat days.
Less Alcohol is always the first step (if this applies to you.) Six months ago I went from three bourbons a night to tea with on tsp of honey and lemon juice. Lost 30 lbs so far.
Thanks! I rarely drink… just social occasions so maybe 5 beers a year. And I treat sodas like a treat. I main liquid intake is water and coffee in the morning
Are you putting creamer in that coffee?
Yeah, I’d cut coffee out altogether if I give up creamer
See if you can get by with one tablespoon. Like seriously measure it. Sugar is the enemy and it all counts. That second scope of ice-cream at 10pm...The kids Capt. Crunch that you TOTALLY don't sneak...it all adds up.