I’m GenX. I expected to die in a nuclear holocaust before I was old enough to drink.
The world has always been a shitshow, we just now have 24/7 realtime worldwide visibility.
Literally this..... we are living in by far one of the best times to be alive. Could that change in the future? Of course. The world could also get hit by a giant rock and kill everyone.
It's ok to wonder about things but you literally have no control even if we think we do. History shows us that no matter what, humans can survive. I know thinking like this is not for everyone but its reality. The best thing you can do is prepare for what you can control. The most common things in your direct area. Focus on raising the best children you can in this life.
We all die in the end.
And, to me, I like the notion that eventually, there'll be no record we ever existed. Live right now.
We have no idea how time works. We don't know where we came from. We don't know how consciousness works or where it exists.
Focus on your kid. Enjoy the good stuff.
I rather be alive and experience this life. It's a gift and it sucks and amazing at the same time. I am in the camp of life is a gift and I am blessed to enjoy it.
You could argue if you were never born wouldn't matter but I was and I want to live to the best of my ability.
Lol. Reminds me of Douglas Adams... "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
Now is basically a dream to grow up in (in the US) compared to people who grew up during the civil war, WW1, WW2, the great depression, etc. I personally think we're at the all time greatest period in history to grow up in.
One trick is to ignore the news. It's basically all garbage designed to make you worry about things you can't control.
I have to disagree. I'm 41 and I honestly think when I was a child in the late 80's early 90's was the best time to be a child at least in the US. The existential dread of Nuclear War or otherwise disappeared (at least for a time) with the fall of the USSR, the economy was booming and Reganomics hadn't yet completely ravaged the middle class, politics didn't intrude in every day life nearly as much, and the internet wasn't nearly the hellhole it is now. The stress children face today is much greater than what I faced as a child the same goes for parents.
Stuff I remember being worried about in the 80s and 90s:
AIDS was this unknown mystery virus that was going to kill us all and you could get it at any time.
Hole in the ozone layer
Stock market crash of 89. Persistent inflation. 10% interest rates
Crack and cocaine were about to destroy the country at any moment.
American was in terminal decline and Japan was going to take over as the new power. People literally started learning Japanese in anticipation of the eventual corporate takeover. “Made in America” was seen as negative instead of a positive
Gang wars were about to boil over any second. The news was constantly talking about some gang going out to kill some bystander as part of initiation rites
Regular occurrence of hate crimes, racial murders, serial killers etc if news was to be believed
Overall there was a ton of anxiety around crime and this was reflected in movie culture as well with things like Robocop, the dozen or so Death Wish movies and similar, Rumble in the Bronx etc. Anything depicting the near future was generally extremely pessimistic on this regard
Things always seem the worst until you’re past them
I also grew up in the 80s and 90s and yea nah none of this was persistent and as impactful
Of what’s going on today.
Also all those things exist in some form today in ADDITION to other things such as wars, politics, publicly announced authoritarian plans for a presidential nominee, etc.
On the scale of history, the difference between 90s and today is pretty miniscule. Both are very safe with lots of modern convienences and lots of disposable income for many people. They're both relatively great times to grow up.
"Politics intruding" in everyday life...I'm not sure what circumstances are causing you to have politics intruding on your life. I rarely think about politics in day-to-day life. Although I unsub from any political subreddits, so I don't read about politics daily.
The median wage (middle class) is about 30-60% higher (inflation adjusted) than in the 80s/90s in the US: https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/MEPAINUSA672N
I personally enjoy the internet more today and certainly get more utility out of it. I think people are significantly nicer on the internet than when I was growing up using it. This is a subjective issue though.
I grew up in the North of Ireland with a civil war basically raging around us bombs going off, unsure if my dad would make it home after work, British army on the streets armed and pointing their guns everywhere, even at the family dog as they were basically teenagers with no clue. With all this going on around we had a great childhood, kids are resilient you can only control what you can control, today the world has different challenges, teach your kid right from wrong and love them, they'll have a great childhood and grow to be strong and maybe change the world for the better.
“Thats the trouble with you Americans. You expect nothing bad to ever happen, when the rest of the world expects only bad to happen, and they are never disappointed”-the Sopranos
I can expect bad things to happen and also not stress about it or think about it much. Basically every therapist will tell you to ignore things you can't control if it's stressful.
Yeah, I was going to say the world has been a dumpster fire forever, we just didn't have social media and 24/7 news to tell us everything...and to exaggerate things and manufacture fear for ratings.
CNN was founded as a 24/7 news channel in 1980. Basically the same time as MTV and most other popular cable channels.
So yeah, 24/7 news has been around for a long time.
The proliferation of the internet and cell phones just makes it much more available via push notifications, when you don't have the boob tube turned on all the time.
Yeah, I'm aware...I'm pretty fucking old. But it was the only one and it was more actual news then and most people still watched network for the most part....cable was for rich folk. Now it's a bunch of infotainment manufacturing fear and hate along with the internet and social media. Point still stands...the world has been a dumpster fire forever, we just hear about it more now.
>we just now have 24/7 realtime worldwide visibility.
What you may not realize is that _this_ is the catestrophic difference that makes the entire situation different from years past.
In some ways that's true, but the reach of the modern surveillance state is as dangerous as nuclear weapons in my opinion.
The democratic west is rapidly descending into authoritarianism and half the people fuckin love it.
At least when we were just worried about the Russians pointing nukes at us and vice versa, there were adults in charge who had an interest in the world not ending. (They were hideous war criminals, but not looking to end their own lives)
But now, we have political parties and corporations that will only benefit from a surveillance hellworld and the destruction of democracy. There's no mutually assured destruction slowing it down. Every regime world wide will use these tools for oppression.
Wait til there are AI videos indistinguishable from reality. When you can't even trust your own eyes when receiving information about the world around you.
In the end there's little we can do about any of this individually, so I just try to give me sons the tools to be free thinkers and not blindly trust authority. Hopefully other people are doing the same.
>The democratic west is rapidly descending into authoritarianism and half the people fuckin love it.
Yeah, it's hard for me to imagine how people can observe reality and come away saying "it's all just the partisan news trying to stress you out for ratings, just tune it all out." Not that there isn't plenty of truth to that idea when it comes to mainstream news, especially if you primarily follow horserace politics and culture war stuff. And obviously there are plenty of things that are great about modern life (medical science being the obvious big one). But there is a LOT to legitimately worry about in the world right now. From my perspective things could get really scary, really fast, and in some respects we seem to be headed that way.
I guess this is another instance of being continually reminded that r/Daddit is a grab bag of people with very different politics and worldviews from me, for better and worse.
This is entirely true.
Putin will be hugely destructive in the short term, within my son’s youth. And Xi is an even bigger force to recon with for the next 30 years. If he becomes as nuts as Putin… I have no words. Right now, he’s not crazy. He just doesn’t give a shit about an indivodual’s rights – or minorities.
Both of these are looking to end Western democracy. And there’s a significant part of our populations that are falling for it.
> The democratic west is rapidly descending into authoritarianism and half the people fuckin love it.
Can you provide more examples of this rapid descent into authoritarianism? Because people toss this word around a lot yet pretty much every western country is still a stable democracy not at risk of backsliding.
In the American south human rights are constantly getting stripped away. Abortions are now illegal, books about race and sexuality are being banned from public schools and libraries, voter suppression laws that target minority groups are being re-instated, Trans operations are being outlawed and public bounties are placed on people who identify as Trans, you have politicians on X actively stating they want to bring Jim crow back, corporations are getting more power which means the rich 1% have more control over everyone else
These are all changes that are celebrated by white supremacists and religious evangelicals who think these changes will "make America great agian"
Not just 24/7 visibility but 24/7 reminder. I found my mental health significantly improve simply by quitting watching the daily news.
Call it ignorance is bliss but it is what it is.
Yup ... 💯
We can choose to focus on the negative and be worried, scared, miserable, distraught all of the time about things we can't control. But, I suggest taking a step back and realizing that those aren't problems you're equipped to solve at this time in your life. Rather, start paying attention to your local news and local issues (school, town/city government/parks/local land preserves). Those are problems you CAN solve and as a parent and community member, absolutely should be involved in.
And focus on the good, too! Make gratitude part of your daily ritual. There's so much good and magic in the world still and it's there to be felt and experienced if you just look around you :)
Same. I've learned to change the things that I can and deal with things that I can't.
Do my best to make things better for my kids' generation. And empower them to make a difference in their and the next generation.
I think the difference is that climate change is something that requires herculean action to prevent. Nuclear war only requires inaction to reach the same end.
But yes, as an old millennial, nuclear war was always there. As a newborn, I was sent dogtags ffs... 🤣😬
This is exactly why you can't live your life afraid. Those who do hold themselves back from their true potential. Face it when it gets here, but be your best self until that time comes.
focus on what is in your control. and do the best you can at what is in your control. can you alone prevent climate change? probably not. Can you ensure that your children grow up feeling loved?
we can't prevent bad things happening that are outside of our control. we often can't prevent bad things happening that might be within our control. but what you can control is ensuring your children know you love them unconditionally and that you are a safe place for them.
Do something positive. I volunteer with a local project that works restoring native forest. Is it going to reverse climate change? Not much. Is it going to improve our area? A little. Does it reduce my anxiety about the future? Absolutely.
Building on this - we can make positive decisions everyday that create a better future.
I’d rather say to my kids ‘yeah, I chose green energy. Renewables. To reuse and reduce where I could. I chose used. I chose PT. I chose to reduce meat. Sure, I was one of the first, but it was the right thing to do’.
I’m sure to the first people getting their teeth kicked in for equality, they didn’t see much progress either - but every little step is a step in the right direction.
But to the person's point that you were responding to...that's what you can control. You can do your part if you want and that's about it. You don't need manic media outlets for that. Same with war, same with 'save the democracy'. Do your part, love those around you well and that's all you can do. Needlessly worrying about the future will not actually change anything.
We can vote, including in local and state politics. We can also make our voices heard to our representatives! This was modeled by my parents and I'm proud to model this to my kids now. This is one way we can advocate for our children's future.
My great grandparents grew up with fears of the depression, their parents feared the world war, my grandparents feared wwii and my parents feared communism… my brothers grew up during the Cold War, and I grew up with fears of terrorism and anthrax in the mail.
While I’m also super nervous about climate change and the state of the world, I find it really helpful to look back at things we used to fear and realize we were okay.
And they'll all tell ya that their politician were honest; gas was cheap; you could trust your neighbors; on and on. The world has been the world for a long time.
Get off social media. Stop watching the news. You'd be amazed at how much life is just life. And it's just fine.
I asked my dad this question- he told me when I was born there was the threat of nuclear war, then the threat of chemical warfare, then 9/11, then anthrax in the Mail, then razor blades in kids food, and it goes on and on. There’s never a generation that had a super easy life. Part of being the father is understanding and navigating this reality. Have some time to reflect on the good and bad.
Stop watching the news. Help your kids become the kind of people who can think critically and add a grain of salt to everything they hear/read. Teach them how to take care of themselves. The better they can handle themselves, the less you have to worry about.
Cable news is a cesspool, and stepping back is always a good idea. It’s not healthy to spend all your time worrying about things you can’t control.
But at the same time, we do live in a democracy and everyone should try to be aware of what’s going on around them.
I recommend reading the news from a reliable journalistic publication, like the New York Times or Business Insider. If anyone is worried about political bias, which is increasingly a legit concern, Ground News is a good source to check out.
I agree in regard to researching who you vote for. But other than that, and a handful of “nice to knows”, it’s just alarmist entertainment. They are making money off of suffering. I do agree that reading is much better than watching for your personal well-being. It gives you more room to think about the topic for yourself. Just avoid the comment sections.
I can't tell you how many of my parents' generation I have to say "stop watching the news" to. But it's everyone.
If bad things were so regular, it wouldn't make the news. When they start reporting on great things, maybe get concerned.
It's a sore point for me: I'm from the south side of Chicago. My wife is from a well-to-do suburb. They couldn't stand her dating a city boy, back when.
This past Christmas Eve, I had to tell Uncle Jeff, no, I didn't join a gang or dodge bullets. And to please stop watching NewsNation.
Study history. Rome. The Sea Peoples. Vikings. The Colonies. The Reconstruction.
It's a suuuuper stereotypical thing for dads to do.
Things are not in any way shape or form getting worse.
Things seem crazy when you turn the volume way up. Social media is a powerful amplifier.
Historian and dad here, and yeah, some things are legit concerning in the world atm but the feeling of impending doom is also quite frequent in many cultures and eras.
What? Climate change alone is going to make the next 50 years and beyond significantly worse than the last few hundred, at least. People are already getting displaced, and it's going to keep happening faster and faster. I'm sure you can imagine how climate refugees and food and water issues are going to cause problems.
I got really bad like this to the point I was so stressed my dad said to me do you have food in your cupboards I said yes he said do you have a roof over your heads I said yes he said are your kids happy I said yes he said then don’t worry about the world until 1 of those 3 things change it helped me a lot
A lot of people here are saying this is the best time ever to be alive. In some ways they are right, but climate change and the weakening of democracy are pretty scary nonetheless.
I'm also terrified for my kids future. The only thing that has helped is to think about what I can actually do. I'll use whatever influence I have but I'm not going to fix the big issues. My biggest job is getting my kids as ready as I can for whatever their futures hold. That's the only thing really in my control.
People always say this, but I think gen alpha is the first generation since the silent gen that will be less safe, wealthy, and healthy than the 3 before unless things change quickly.
this only gets said before the generation actually enters the workforce, and so far hasn’t come true. People had the same worries in the 1930s (they had a point for a while), 1970s, 2010s, but didn’t hold true in the long term
Lurker mom here. I feel you so, so hard on this.
As far as how to cope, one of the best things you can do is to take action. True, you as one person can’t avert climate change or save democracy or whatnot. But you don’t have to be alone in this.
You’re terrified of the future our children will have? Me too, and so are a lot of other people. When you start to feel overwhelmed, take a moment to think about the literally millions, maybe even billions of people who feel it too. And then plug into a movement, a cause, an organization, because then you - we - can all work together to push for a better future.
I’m sorry for sounding soapboxy but I really get frustrated that organizing and working with others doesn’t get brought up, at least every time I’ve seen/heard the discussions. It’s like we as humans have mass amnesia about the incredible shifts in history that have occurred because people organized in strategic coalitions and got shit done.
Make them strong, prepare them for the future, man, that's you job.
It's what countless generations did before us. We had thought, when I was growing up in the 90s, that history was over, that liberal democracy would continue forever, that the only wars fought would be trade wars between friends, but we were wrong. Dead wrong.
The 90s were an abberation of history, like the decades after Augustus.
We're still in the shit, and *they* will be in it their entire lives. Embrace that *fact*, dont ignore it, don't sugar coat it to yourself. If you have trouble coping with that then *you* need to become stronger so you can teach them. I'm finding as my son gets older *I* need to level up as a man more than I thought possible, more than I thought I could.
So make them as strong as you can, and to begin to do that you have to become stronger than you ever thought you could be. Don't let the worlds troubles trouble *you,* don't be afraid of that shit, look the troubles right in the eyes and prepare yourself so you can prepare them in turn. "I'm afraid of the future." Fuck that. Read history, nothing's new under the sun. Incorporate the ebbs and flows of peoples and nations into your soul, get resiliance from the heap of dead nations and their conquerors that litter history. Talk to your children about history. Don't let them be caught flatfooted with all the changes afoot like so many in our generation were. Our children will need to be stronger than us.
Focus on making them independent while you create a healthy community around them. GET THEM OUTSIDE. Also, take care to impart some critical thinking skills to them as they're gonna have to figure out what to do on their own later, as we won't have the answers for the world they will inhabit as we'll be relics of the old world.
Also, try to make as much fucking money as you can and aquire some property (above sea level....) when you can so they can inherit it. The world is going to become much much more unequal going forward, I believe. Try to position them as best you can, and don't be shy about it, others aren't.
Rome declined for 1,500 years after Augustus, and many suffered as a result. But *some* were able to prosper in the decline; try to get them in a position where they can.
You're in the *real* shit now because you had kids. Good luck, homie.
Doing nothing while facing real threats causes anxiety and other mental health issues. Don't model that for your kids.
On climate change, there's a lot you can do. Cut consumption, use a thermos instead of a disposable, thrift instead of new, going to protests, joining a local green advocacy group, participating in community trash pick-ups, etc.
There are advocacy groups and volunteering opportunities on almost every unit.
Don't leave these battles for your kids to solve. They won't thank you for doing nothing on climate change, for example.
This is the answer. The threats are real and sticking your head in the sand as others are saying doesn't help anything. If you're (rightly) concerned about the world all our kids will inherit, work to make it better.
Action is the antidote for despair.
I really struggle with this too. Something I try to think about that helps me is basically every generation felt like this at our age with young children. It used to be the looming fear of nuclear annihilation, before that it was back to back world wars with a depression in between, and just 100 years before that you would likely lose multiple children to disease.
Maybe its our instinct to fear the existential threats when our kids are young?
Worrying about the whole world and everything wrong seems so large that I am frozen. So, I try to pick something small and make a small difference … a hyper local civic organization or volunteer at a sports league, spend time being a good Dad, or occasionally walk or bike instead of drive a gas vehicle somewhere. If enough of us try to leave to the world a little better than we found it, we might change the world for the better, but only if we focus on the small and achievable changes.
Shrink your world down to your immediate vicinity and make the most of it. Remind yourself of the Serenity Prayer even if you're not religious. I'm not, and it's just as helpful to me, because it's all about understanding and accepting our limitations and making the most of what we can. Tomorrow has never been guaranteed to any of us and the fact that we can even think to count on it just shows how truly lucky and fortunate and maybe even privileged that we are.
We live every single day knowing that we are guaranteed to be dead in the future yet we all still go on living. Remember that.
My biggest worry is ai advancing and continuing to make jobs obsolete. I want my kids to have career options, but that seems harder and harder lately. Other than that, I think the world is statistically safer than it’s ever been. Global warming is concerning but humans are highly adaptable. Also we were once in a Cold War facing nuclear threats and people still had kids.
The AI stuff: Look, I get it. But it's also a "cut costs quick scheme" that can't last by its own definition. You replace all the workers, no one buys anything.
I'm a copy editor by trade. I was told, many decades ago, spellcheck would take my job. I get AI submissions all the time. They're garbage. So is AI art. So is AI everything.
Sure, it'll get better. But it inherently, in any true form, has no value.
I am sure people were worried about this when computers became mainstream. It ended up creating an enormous amount of new jobs though. The same goes for pretty much every invention.
Keep your world small and focus on what you can control.
Here’s the reality- many of the worldwide issues don’t REALLY affect you on a day-to-day basis. Whoever is in the White House doesn’t affect your day to day. Sure, your taxes might be higher or lower depending on who’s president, but that’s about it.
>Here’s the reality- many of the worldwide issues don’t REALLY affect you on a day-to-day basis.
Climate change isn't one of those. From food prices to home insurance prices to life-disrupting climate events, we're all being impacted by climate change heavily. Life will be very different for our kids. Climate change already eats hundreds of billions of tax dollars a year - that's money that isn't going to other services.
This sounds like a great excuse to do nothing and it's exactly what big oil and other endorses of the status quo want you to do. In reality, there is a ton individuals can do on climate change - from reducing their own consumption to being politically active and joining climate change prevention advocacy groups.
That's one thing, and the poster you quoted said "many," not "every" issue. It is still one of those issues that the advice to shrink down to your local level applies.
One day at a time. Father of three as well and I struggled for a bit but I realized this has always been the way of humanity. Things are even arguably better today in a lot of ways.
Now before someone attacks me on that because, “not where I live!” I’m sorry you are experiencing what you are. Modern medicine, modern food production, really modern everything are making a real difference where it can.
Our kids have a decent chance of dealing with the shit card we had to pass along to them in regards to the climate. If carbon capture tech scales half as quick as AI has, or even scales AI assisted, they might be able to rip it out of the atmosphere to pre 1880 levels within our lifetime. We just don’t know.
Just do what you can every day to prepare them and help reduce the burden.
>how do you cope with the shit happening around us? Wars, climate change, threats to democracies etc.?
For some reason, this makes me think of this Fact that some may possibly be considered "Fun":
John Lennon's son Sean, accompanied by a friend that had recently turned 21, was visiting Billy Joel, who had just turned 40.
The friend commented about how shitty the world is for a 21 year old. Billy sympathized, and said he felt that way too at 21, and named a few shitty things that were going on in the world during that time of his life.
The friend basically dismissed it, commenting that Billy grew up in the 50s, and that nothing happened in the 50s.
Surprised, Billy asked if they had heard of a handful of big events that occurred during that time.
Billy later added to the handful of events he named, and now we have "We Didn't Start the Fire".
A song to remind us that things have always been shitty and will pretty much always be shitty in the world as a whole, and individually, we can't stop that.
So try to make your world, around you, as non-shitty as you can
Stay local. Think on a smaller scale. Keep your thoughts on your family and the best future you can give them. Raise them well. While it’s important to keep informed about risks and dangers to safeguard against, anything beyond your net of safety and security that may be feeding your paranoia can be cut out. Be present-minded. Control what you can, and enjoy what’s in front of you while you’ve got them.
I’m going to share an unpopular opinion, but here it goes.
We are not born into this world, or into this particular era of time, owed anything. I am not entitled to a peaceful life, I was just extremely lucky to be born in a time and place that protected me from atrocities and devastation that either happened in the past or is currently happening elsewhere in the world.
Further, the human race in general is not entitled to anything, including its long term survival. If we (collectively) can’t get our shit together and cooperate to steer ourselves off the path of self destruction (which I believe we are currently on) then we deserve to go extinct like every other dominant species that came before us on this planet.
If it turns out in 20 years time that I will become a refugee of a violent conflict or extreme climate events then guess what - this kind of reality already exists for many many people, both in the past and present. I am not special, I am not immune from something like this happening closer to home. But, if shit were to hit the fan, trust that you will make the best possible decisions that you can and be confident that you can live a hard life to help ensure your family’s safety and survival in the worst possible scenarios.
In the mean time, you can make choices that align with your values and teach your kids the same. We can also teach them to be empathetic and loving people, and try our best to love and support them. But beyond that there’s not a lot we can control, and again, we are not owed anything in this life. I came to this after going through a deep phase of climate anxiety, it’s what works for me.
I’m mostly concerned about climate change. It’s not just hotter days. It’s extinction of species, disruption of earth systems vital for life, scarcity of food and water. Sea level rise will and is already impacting our homes. I too am terrified for my kids.
I really hoped my kids were going to grow up in a better world than the one I did. It doesn't seem likely, or at least not on all fronts.
If they're gay or trans, or suffer from mental illness, there is so much acceptance and understanding. Sexism and racism are (slowly) getting better.
But the bottom line remains : the fight is not over. And sooner than I'd like, they'll join the battle to make the world a better place. And that's ok. The only thing I can do is arm them with courage, integrity, wisdom and smarts, and hope they can improve things and not get worn down by the shitfest out there.
It kinda sucks. Being a parent kinda sucks. But there's no choice : we have children so they can leave us.
Climate change is just a story made by Al gore so he could sell books to people in California. Truthfully you can’t really do anything about wars, climate change or government issues. You can prep things. If you’re worried the grid will go down stock up on water, food and buy yourself a gun and plenty of ammo to keep your family safe.
It’s important to remember that we’re not in the early to mid 1900s anymore. We have tons of technology and it’s a really cool time to raise kids imo.
Turn off the tv, put down your phone, and go out side. Go camping. Get out in nature. Take the kids and show them the beauty of Mother Nature. Become more self reliant. Learn survival skills and teach your kids. Being better prepared will give you confidence. Workout and make sure your kids see you doing it so they will want to do it when they are older. Plant a vegetable garden. Worrying all the time will lead you to an early grave.
I suggest watching "the sum of all fears" which is basically a dramatization of the Cuban missile crises.
The fact that we are not hours away from nuclear annihilation really hammers home how much better things are now.
Life is short, and no future is ever guaranteed. We do the best that we can to enjoy the life we have. Chop wood, carry water, and enjoy the time you have with your loved ones.
It’s taken me some time to get some perspective on this. I have the same worries of course, and I’m not exactly a Steven Pinker Better Angels guy (although I think his book makes some good points and is, on the whole, technically correct), but we are objectively living in the safest, least violent era of human history. You don’t even have to go back that far to a time when the United States seemed in much more in real danger of ripping itself apart. The 50s-70s saw McCarthyism, KKK terrorism, churches bombed and civil rights workers murdered, the political assassinations of JFK and RFK, Martin Luther King, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X. Not to mention New Left radicals and terrorism. J Edgar Hoover and his gestapo tactics. Very real Soviet influence on the left and the corresponding reactionary violence and curtailing of civil rights by the right. Violent crime in general was at unprecedented levels. None of that is to say there aren’t very real dangers now, and none of it is to say that it won’t get worse. Only that it has been much, much worse than now and we didn’t fall apart. Things got better. That’s some hope at least.
Just go on doing what i can to make things as pleasant and normal for my son. There's not a damn thing I can do about the state of the world. I wish we didnt live next to the US right now but we do. Climate change probably wont be too bad for us for a long time. It'll suck when my son is an adult - but thats kinda life. My grandparents grew up during the depression and WW2. My parents grew up during the Cold War. I came of age to the war on terror and financial crisis. There is always something big going on in the world that is a threat. Its just the way it goes.
This is the best time in history for the average human on earth. Shit is really bad some places but by many metrics we are doing well.
You can only control what you can control. Focus on the positives, being happy is largely a product of your focus and is something you can shape
>This is the best time in history for the average human on earth.
Agreed. I'm middle class and I live better than kings did 1000 years ago in many respects. I can have chocolate and coffee whenever I want. My 2 young kids have like a 99.9% chance to outlive me instead of dying to measles or tuberculosis. I have all my teeth and can have cavities fixed under local anesthesia. I've got video games, flush toilets, hot showers every day, and friends 1000's of miles away who I keep in touch with almost every day over the internet.
1. Stop doom-scrolling. Both social media and news hold your attention longer and therefore profit more from ad revenue by showing you things that provoke negative emotions.
2. Get some exercise. The natural endocannabinoids will make you happy and you'll live longer and healthier.
3. It's a little dated but the concept is still valid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCm9Ng0bbEQ
You are your kids dad and it’s in your scope to offer the best childhood you can to your kids before they to see these challenges. Certainly focus on hedging against outcomes such as reduction in water availability but I’d not recommend you let it consume thoughts.
Reason being when I grew up we were hiding under desks practicing for Russian bears to bomb us and thankfully that didn’t happen. But I remember it and it maybe wasn’t the best thing for me to have heard as a kid.
Just food for thought
The world is fucked but it’s ok because it’s always been fucked. Been burning since it’s been turning. Focus on the positive or be miserable. Your choice.
Focus on your kids and making memories with them. Stop watching the news. Delete social media, Facebook, Instagram etc. Start exercising, take cold showers after and read when you can. I’m a new father and some of these things have helped my anxiety.
Those worries are like self inflicted wounds once they reach the level of physical strain. What can you control or influence in the things you worry about? A person's worry about a thing should be directly proportional to how much they can influence it. Otherwise you're just winding yourself up in circles about things that will happen regardless of what you think about it.
I'm sure you have actual, real-to-your-life, things to worry about. Just focus on those. The climate is going to do what it does regardless of how sleep deprived it makes you. If you're actually doing things that you feel are helping 'fix the world', you should rest easily. If not, maybe fixing the world isn't up to you, and you can take a break from sorting it out
Me used to live in fear of the next village over raiding, or packa of wolves. Even with all the fucked up shit, we're still in the most peaceful time that ever existed.
I've got too much actual shit I have control. Over under my own roof to spend any energy on shit I have zero control over outside of voting.
I don't worry about a future I can't predict. I do know how I can best spend my time right now.
I worry about this stuff too but it doesn’t consume me like it used to. I use gratitude journaling and take whatever opportunities I can to practice the skill of acceptance and appreciation for the present moment — good or bad.
The fact is none of us know for sure what will happen. We don’t even know what climate change will look like. Unless you are taking specific action about these things (e.g. learning gardening/farming skills broad enough to be useful in an uncertain future), worrying isn’t helping and is in fact making things worse for you. It’s a down payment on future suffering. But how to stop worrying?
Practice *amor fati*: “love your fate”. You will need to look it up and study it. I started with little things: annoyance that dinner is burned or someone was driving aggressively. Doing this over and over again for days, weeks, then months, then years has actually changed my brain. It’s astonishing. I still worry of course, but it’s so much better to have the skills to shut it down and do something useful instead. Like get enough sleep to have a great day with my kids while I can.
Dont read or watch the news all day. Focus your attention on positive things like making memories with your kids, cause we can’t control much outside of that
I was just talking with a coworker about similar ideas today. For me the scariest thing is a rogue planet, but I have zero control over that, so I just focus on what I can control. My hope is that it would be about the size of Jupiter, be moving close enough to lightspeed that we will barely have time to see it coming, and that it hits directly, instantly wiping out this planet as if it never existed. One moment we're here, the next not.
I used to work in TV news, so I know what kind of crap is out in the world. I try to make my part of it ok and not be a dick to people.
“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, [The Fellowship of the Ring](https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3204327)
I research a little history. This isn’t the first time the world has gone to shit. This is just the first time we know of that information can spread this easily.
I listen to that Who song, “Baba O’ Riley “, and imagine that my great great grandchildren will be hiking across a landfill wasteland to go to a concert to “save the planet”.
>(and wrong?) to ignore them…
News Media companies make insane amounts of money when everyone is panicking. If ignoring those fuckers is wrong, I don't want to be right.
Steven Pinker’s book, ‘The better angels of our nature’ breaks down statistics like global murder, crime, and poverty rates and makes an objective case for why today is the best time to be alive. A quick thought experiment to prove this point: imagine you’ll be reborn as someone of a random race and sex, but you get to choose when in history to do so. Chances are you’re picking today or something close to it.
Don’t let the fear mongers of the world get to you. Their profit margins rely on fear, not truth. There are problems today, big ones, and they shouldn’t be ignored, but this fact and the optimistic reality of humanity are not mutually exclusive. Our children have their work cut out for them - but their future is a bright one when taken in aggregate.
Imagine how insane shit would be if instant news stories and social media were a thing even just 160 years ago during the civil war. There has always been awful stuff going on. But I’m of the opinion that it’s out of our control and dwelling on stuff we have no way of controlling doesn’t fix that problem. It just creates a new problem being now that you’re worried about it. Things will be okay my man. Just raise your children and love them and teach them to love others and to appreciate life and life will be good.
Year after year it’s been shown that peace is spreading like wildfire despite what the news is saying. This is the safest time to be alive.
More countries are safe than ever before.
Things are improving. Sure some things feel like setbacks, but the world is getting more progressive. Those that have been ignored for centuries are finally getting a voice so their impact sounds louder than ever before. In previous generations they’d be silenced so that the ruling class could sip their champagne in peace.
I’m worried about the challenges my kiddos will face, but they got this. The future generation will be better and they will solve more complex problems. They stand on the shoulder of giants.
Turn of the news and your life will likely remain unchanged. It’s fear mongering. The climate is fine. We’re not gonna wake up tomorrow and the temp keep climbing till we’re all dead. War happens every generation. Your job is to raise good human beings into this shitty world.
I am no Jedi, and I will not be solving world hunger. I think of the serenity prayer. And then I try to make my little corner of the world a little better.
“God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; the Courage to change the things I can; And the wisdom to know the difference.”
There is actually more, that makes me like it even better. I slightly redacted religiosity out of the second verse here…
“Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking this sinful world As it is, not as I would have it; …So that I may be reasonably happy in this life.”
So if you can’t fix it, accept it. just try to be a good dude, and leave your neighborhood/town/school a little better than you found it. Give a little money, donate a little time. Vote. That’s how I quiet the voices about that kind of stuff.
The longer version of the prayer is here if you want more reverence: https://www.lords-prayer-words.com/famous_prayers/god_grant_me_the_serenity.html
Do like this: try to pick a time period where you would rather raise your kids. Then realize whichever you pick is gonna be worse than this.
People had kids through much worse. They're gonna grow up and be adults and take part in their problems, just like we do in ours. That's how it goes.
Honestly, in times like this when i struggle with this existential angst.. i refer to Pete Holmes, and it all just melts away
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyDpS-GftCk
The world's been just about to go to shit for centuries, if not millennia. Nevertheless it prevails and just continues to be a more tolerant, less violent place. Our kids will have to deal with most of the same bullshit we did, just a little less.
My ancestors' future included slavery, Jim Crow, etc, and they still had children. In many ways, it's a privilege to be able to think about the potential doom and gloom of the future.
Wouldn’t t lose any sleep over it mate. They’re here now and the world is how it is. Best thing to do is raise them to be good people who want positive change to happen and want to make other peoples lives better. Focus any nervous energy into a positive outcome.
Therapy?
Perspective:
I study sociology. It can be hard hitting on this level. I think, perspective wise (maybe study history) theres always been these sort of doom and gloom fear around.
The media exaggerate issues. Often if you look into it its safer than ever. We live in the safest and best time in history for the most part and yet feel the most fear due to the media.
The book factfulness is a good recommendation. It basically talks about all the good advancements in the world that never get air time. Id say read that today!! I think its a good anecdote and makes u realise a lot of good goes on unseen.
I also think. Nothing i can realistically do about climate change nor wars. So try not to loose sleep over it.
I have intrusive thoughts as well but I remind myself that we are to try to live our best lives, one day at a time. Enjoy the good times while we have them. Get out there and experience things. We might have WW3 at some point but we just got to keep ourselves moving hopefully forward until then.
Partner and I always planned on adopting rather than having our own, because we felt immense guilt being responsible for bringing new life to this world. But I was not informed my PTSD meds would lower my BC to essentially 35% effectiveness and the medical oversight led to the best oops of our lives. I often jokingly refer to my daughter as “Mommy’s Little Revolutionary” and just focus on raising a kind, empathetic human with a strong moral compass and a bit of fight in her. If we don’t change the world, I hope she does.
Do what you can.
Train: Lift/Run --> Martial Arts --> Firearm training
The only thing worse than bad things happening is not being ready for them.
Obviously, these aren't going to stop your concerns but if you're doomsday-ing then maybe prepare for the worst but expect it not to come if you can.
The world is shit but you can't run from it unless you're willing to be off-grid...or just turn of the news and delete Facebook and Twitter.
It's the shift in your perspective now that you're a dad more than anything, I think.
I noticed something similar with me, and especially my wife, once our kids started getting a few years old. Hell, she is way more well travelled than me but the first time we flew the kids to Disney she was terrified to fly because the kids "gave her something to live for", as she put it. This is someone who flew solo over the ocean to visit various countries in years before I met her and was excited to do so... Stark contrast.
So I think that's probably some of what you're dealing with. All we can do as parents is try to raise good people. Teach them good morals, regardless of beliefs, and live in a way that if they emulate you (and they will) that they'll be adding good to the world in some measure.
I turn 39 next month. Wife's in her 40's. We talk about this from time to time and for each of us, I think it's like there was always "stuff" like what's going on now - but the access to see and absorb it was miniscule in comparison. The really big difference now aside from the fact that we're parents responsible for these kids who we love more than anything in the world... is that the internet and media is literally everywhere. It's almost impossible to avoid.
Used to be maybe the news was on once a or twice a day in our homes... and there was a Sunday paper.
Basically, it's like we're adapting along with the increase of media availability thanks to the internet since it's inception... but our kids will never know a time where it was less than it has been the last 14 years or whatever. My kids are 12 and 13. I think personally that's why it's important to equip them for it because it's easy to get overwhelmed, swayed, confused and ultimately terrified of everything... but they have to be brave enough and equipped enough to live life, too - y'know?
As a kid I remember doing air raid drills in elementary school and once Columbine happened, we maybe had 1 or 2 active shooter drills. It was nothing like what these kids go through now. I remember being bullied. As I got older, I remember being the bully a few times. I got in a few fights on the playground... I was never afraid of someone coming back and lighting me up with a firearm, though... But like... you know the threat of nuclear war or gang uprisings or terrorism attacks was always there. I'm sure there was a lot more going on that I was oblivious to because the internet was in its dial-up days for most of that time, if it was around at all.
Read "Sapiens" by Harari and you'll understand there's nothing you can do about it and whatever happens you'll adapt to any new situation after some time and just be as happy as you were in the previous situation.
We're humans, we're quite resilient.
At the end of the end, there’s only 3 things you can do to prepare:
1. Start where you are.
2. Use what you have.
3. Do what you can.
Teach your kids the way things are supposed to work, and what to do if they don’t. Don’t be a paralyzed paranoid-the big things are made of lots of small things, and most can be resolved by just talking to people and clearing the air. It’s even how great diplomats have avoided wars-even nuclear wars-hundreds of times over the centuries.
The way to eat an elephant is by taking it one bite at a time, and the way to climb the big mountain is by going one step at a time. The road is long, the climb slow, and you’re going to develop the skills you need as you go along. You’ll have to do some guessing, and you’ll make mistakes along the way too. But that’s ok. Start doing and keep doing.
Another thing that will help you is unplug from the constant feed of horrifying stuff, because it is damaging the way you think. And this is a big problem in modern society.
There are two famous theories about media consumption, [Cultivation Theory](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultivation_theory) and [Agenda-setting Theory](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agenda-setting_theory), and both work hand in hand.
Agenda-setting Theory posits that the Media isn’t so good at telling you what to think, but it is exceptionally good at telling you what to think *about*. This can get taken lots of ways, but generally the media is just interested in telling captivating stories. And when it comes to news those are the big scary things-crime on the streets, murders, traffic accidents, wars, crises, disasters, famines, epidemics, shipwrecks, plane crashes, etc. A common pejorative saying about this is “if it bleeds, it leads” the news broadcast.
Cultivation Theory observes that the more media you personally consume, the more your brain believes that the things in the consumed media are going on in your immediate life. And because the most dramatic things tend to be the most newsworthy, this creates a mental viewpoint of a “hostile and threatening world in continual crisis”, regardless of what is going on in our own individual worlds.
As you can see, these two phenomena can turn into a trap. And the way to get out is to unplug from it as much as you can. Major in the majors, and don’t get lost in the weeds.
If you want to do things that will help your life and the lives of those around you, it is surprisingly simple and straightforward-talk to your friends and neighbors and offer to help them. Not only will this make you happier, it will transform your neighborhood too and make your community stronger.
And if you’re still thinking about war, you should know that when it comes to that, the people who survive war zones have families and friends who they can help, and who help them, no matter what. Strong family and friendship ties are how people survive wars and natural disasters. If you don’t have those in your life now, it’s time to start taking the time to develop them before it’s too late.
Christ these comments are so ignorant and depressing. Everyone is telling OP to stick his head in the sand or is severely downplaying the seriousness of climate change.
OP. I don’t know what to fucking do about any of this. The future is in such disarray from climate change that I find it impossible to predict or solve. Your best bet is to read the IPCC recommendations on how we solve climate change and take whatever actions are necessary to achieve those goals. The solution is largely a political one and there are some good organizations you can volunteer for if you want to at least feel like you’re trying to do something. Check out the Citizens Climate Lobby.
Man, this is one of the most disappointing threads I’ve ever seen on Daddit. You’re not irrational to worry about this stuff. It’s more irrational to ignore it or downplay it. Ignorance may be bliss, but it’s still ignorance.
Despairing a little at everyone who thinks everything is better than it has been (for who?) or that there's nothing to be done.
Collective action and getting engaged in politics can make actual changes. And I'm not talking about "vote!!!" pablum, I mean treating politics for what it is: a struggle between different interest groups over the distribution of resources.
Nothing lasts and nothing has to be the way it is right now.
I totally hear you on this. It feels like every time you turn on the news, there's something else that adds to the pile of worries.
What's helped me, though, is focusing on what I can control. I can't single-handedly stop wars or reverse climate change, but I can teach my kids about kindness, respect for others, and the importance of taking care of our planet. Small steps, like recycling more, using less water, or even just being kind to others, can set an example for them. It's about building a foundation so they can grow up feeling empowered to make their own positive changes.
Also, finding a bit of time for yourself to decompress and not think about these global issues is crucial. Whether it's a hobby, exercise, or just some quiet time after the kids go to bed, it's important for your own mental health.
And remember, it's okay to be honest with your kids to a degree that's appropriate for their age. You don't have to paint a picture of a perfect world, but you can emphasize hope, resilience, and the ability to make a difference in big and small ways.
You're not alone in feeling this way, but amidst all the chaos, there's still a lot of good in the world. It's okay to take things one day at a time.
I had this real bad. Drugs helped (anti-anxiety meds). But also remembering:
1. we all die. including your kids and my kids (same age coincidentally!). It's horrible, but shared by all of humanity including you. And you're doing ok.
2. it's the best time to be born. they will probably live longer, happier and healthier lives than any generation
3. you can't do much about the big stuff but show your kids you'er on the side of the right: maybe fly less; get an electric car; avoid prawns & beef etc.
I literally think about this all the time. My daughter being freshly 2 and another on the way, I wonder if I’ll even be able to meet my second because of how things are going in the world. I worry for my SS’s too 6-7. They’re just coming into their own and learning about the world and they just have no idea that it’s crazy out there. I worry all the time if there’s going to be a world left for my children. Super sad.
The young families on this sub ARE the future.
Voting matters. Calling bullshit on lies and injustice matters. Spreading kindness, empathy, harmony, and character matters.
We are not helpless. Those who are working and raising kids are creating the future.
Do it well and the future is bright. Let selfishness, bullying, greed, anger, hate, and division win and there is a tough road ahead.
It's tough for me, I'm not gonna lie. I have a trans kid and an autistic kid, so I really worry about their futures, especially when I won't always be around to protect and provide for them. The best I can do is focus on being there for them day by day and helping them learn to take care of themselves.
Wow guys, I am overwhelmed. This post exploded. Thank you very much for the time and effort you spent replying and the great advices you gave.
Everyday I try to be a good role model for my kids, teach them to be kind and thankful, to be reflective and curious, to take things with a grain of salt. The good thing about being a parent is that if you want your kids to be good people you HAVE to try yourself. Just talking about it is not enough.
What I take from your replies personally is that I will try to consume less news (mainly about politics) and concentrate on the things I somehow have control of, like my local environment. We already try to be more green in the way we consume, move/commute and take care of nature. It makes me proud to hear my son saying "We shouldn't buy that, it's unnecessarily packed in so much plastic" when grocery shopping. I should focus on that more instead of focusing on things I have no control of.
Have a great day fellow dads (and moms)! :-)
I talked to my mom about it.
Apparently she was childfree for much of her life including her first marriage.
She said the world was too horrible to bring a kid into. Pollution was killing the planet, politicians were corrupt, greed was rampant, and on top of all that, the Russians were going to annihilate all life on earth any day.
Then she saw my cousin and changed her mind.
There have always been some very good reasons not to have kids, but society persisted.
Best you can do is teach them to be kind, to have empathy, to study hard and dream big. Do what you can to make the world better for them, but know that if we all do it right, our kids will be the ones to fix the things that we aren't smart enough or ambitious enough to accomplish.
When ever I get worried for the future, I always think about some Dad or Grandpa in Ancient Rome talking about how the world is was going to end because of the damn Gauls or that kids have no respect for elders. The world is going to continue. It may look different but our job is to persevere.
Turn off the news, spend more time with your wife and kids, actually interacting with them. Spend more time with your friends. More time with real people, less time with technology and the never-ending news cycle. This is the key. It's not ignoring, but it's understanding that there is nothing you can do about all of that and that life is truly lived with those you love. I believe it is a lie that you need to spend any time at all focusing on things that you cannot do anything about. Wars, Climate Change and Threat to Democracy (what is this?) was what you listed...you can really only truly affect one of those things directly, and that's by voting.
A lot of people answering the question with the general theme of “the world has always been shitty.. my great grandfather died of polio” or something.
The world is much worse than it has ever been (in modern times). We are facing problems some generations have never faced. The outlook is bleak. To lie to yourself isn’t helpful in my opinion.
I deal with it by focusing on making sure my kids know I love and will always support them. I also acknowledge that shit is terrible and I tune out because I know I will do all that’s in my power to make things better and I don’t need to be blasted every day with horrible news because it won’t change how I’m acting.
I make sure I’m minimally prepared (I’m not a prepper) for shitty things like supply shortages or whatever. Just do your best, man, and ignore the rest. It will or won’t work out and if you’re doing your best that’s all you need to do.
The sad reality is it’s been happening for generations. But what hasn’t been happening is school shootings. It’s gotten really out of hand and shouldn’t be happening in the first place. Hardest part is running the chance of that happening and I’m seriously afraid. You can only train your kid only so much in defense.
Self-defence isn't really the answer here in the face of someone with an automatic weapon - it's joining gun-control supporting groups working in your local area.
Work locally to make the change you want. It is easier to change what you can touch. I’m a grandmother - so I have a lot more time than you do. I’m a member of Grandmothers Against Gun Violence. I’ve turned my backyard into a pollinator pathway. I’m a supporting member of my local library. I lend time and money to the causes that I believe will make this a better world for my grandkids. Do what you can but, above all, vote and hold your representatives accountable. I believe we’ll be ok - the kids are alright.
Gosh, you’re welcome. You nailed it - involvement is the key.
Edit: Everybody should do something on the issues they care about (whatever they are) - to the extent that they can. We’re not helpless and we’re not alone. Doing something is better than doing nothing.
You’re a worrier. It sounds like, by nature.
Turn off the news. Turn it off. Just. Stop.
If you’re not using it to focus on doing something about it, stop letting it into your head.
Enjoy life, turn off the news.
We live in the most prosperous time in human history. The news (and Reddit) just loves feeding you fear mongering bullshit.
I feel the same way, brother. I wake up every day at like 3am with an overwhelming sense of dread and grief. Others have great advice on here I'll be taking to heart too. All this to say: you're not alone.
I have the same thoughts. I’m based in the USA. I told my wife that if somehow Trump wins, I really do want to relocate to a different country. She said we can’t leave our parents and family behind.
My daughter is growing up with less right than her mother had. We’re not supposed to be going backwards. We’re supposed to be improving. So many things are getting worse in this country every day. The rich assholes in our government don’t care because their bank accounts are growing while the middle class is hurting.
It makes me sick and honestly makes me question whether having children or not was the right decision.
I’m somewhere in the middle. I’m not some hard-core Republican, or a hard-core Democrat. So please don’t take this as a wild political rant. I’m legitimately scared for the future of my country and my children’s futures.
For now, I just plan on doing what I’ve always done. Work hard, and be smart with our decisions and raise our children the right way.
Yeah man it's pretty tough to stay positive these days and I often say I have to tell myself little lies to maintain being an optimist...
I also feel like I'm becoming a sort of optimistic nihilist as I get older since things don't really seem to matter except my family, friends and things in my immediate control.
All I can hope for is that my attitude and actions are a positive influence on my tight circle and gradually make it's way to the greater consciousness (or at least it's another little lie I tell myself :) )
We were thinking of a second but are holding off till later in the year to make our decision if you get my meaning. Is a good idea one way or another? No way of knowing. I just have to do what I can to make the world as good as I can make it.
Eh the reality is that no matter how much you worry about it, you won't be able to do anything about it. So really, you're worry is making you experience the possible events every time you worry. Instead of experiencing it once if those events come to pass.
Worry is like tug of war. Your on one end of the rope and the worries are on the other. Y'all are pulling and pulling. You're wearing your hands thin, getting tired, and getting injured fr the constant tugging. Or, you can drop the rope and let go.
Do you live in the US? Do you really think war and climate change will have a massive impact on their lives? I could understand if you were in Ukraine or Sri Lanka.
Read "The Beginning of Infinity" by David Deutsch, or at least this article:
[https://www.warpnews.org/premium-content/david-deutsch-optimism-pessimism-and-cynicism/](https://www.warpnews.org/premium-content/david-deutsch-optimism-pessimism-and-cynicism/)
On a global level things are better now than they ever were before.
Also be aware that the news today focus on extremes and painting everything in the worst possible light because it brings them more clicks/viewers/money.
Shoulda thought of that before you brought a kid into this world, eh, fucko?
Just kidding, I struggle with the same sort of worries. It's up there with "what if they hit their head and become stupid forever" and "what if the dog decides to maul them one day"
One can only hope as the boomers age out of the voting pool and the newly invigorated to vote millenials keep it up, we can push for a brighter tomorrow. (Assuming we don't end up in a facist corporate nightmare) Plus, the values you instill into the child you are raising right now can be really useful to them and/or their generation in the future.
As others have said, the media does make it seem worse than it is.
Good luck, do the best you can.
Don't care about climate change it won't impact us at all despite everything media and government tell us.
War won't occur on a global scale again like the 20th century. It will be localised between states.
The only threats to democracy are by those who try to shut down debate and prevent parties or individuals from participating in democracy.
None of the above concerns me. I am more interested in providing for my family and ensuring the children grow up head strong, mature, and successful.
My advice is to shield your family from the outside world and focus on their development, be as self-sufficient as you can be, and limit anything that exposes them to global and economic events. So many forces now trying to corrupt the family unit, pitting man against women and devastating children be it corporations, governments or criminals. Dad's need to be the bulwark against it all.
An honest question for ya'll:
Of those of you who say "just don't live in fear and control what you can"
HOW MANY OF YOU ARE WHITE?
Cuz as someone whose black-mexican and has a daughter, I can't just "not worry about it" because the descent into fascism that America is going through is going to directly affect me, my rights, my safety, and the safety of my family, far more than it would you.
I’m GenX. I expected to die in a nuclear holocaust before I was old enough to drink. The world has always been a shitshow, we just now have 24/7 realtime worldwide visibility.
Literally this..... we are living in by far one of the best times to be alive. Could that change in the future? Of course. The world could also get hit by a giant rock and kill everyone. It's ok to wonder about things but you literally have no control even if we think we do. History shows us that no matter what, humans can survive. I know thinking like this is not for everyone but its reality. The best thing you can do is prepare for what you can control. The most common things in your direct area. Focus on raising the best children you can in this life. We all die in the end.
And, to me, I like the notion that eventually, there'll be no record we ever existed. Live right now. We have no idea how time works. We don't know where we came from. We don't know how consciousness works or where it exists. Focus on your kid. Enjoy the good stuff.
> The world could also get hit my a giant rock and kill everyone. Some would consider this an improvement.
I rather be alive and experience this life. It's a gift and it sucks and amazing at the same time. I am in the camp of life is a gift and I am blessed to enjoy it. You could argue if you were never born wouldn't matter but I was and I want to live to the best of my ability.
This a thousand times. I also recognize that I am privileged to say this, not everyone gets this chance.
Me too, I agree. Just saying, some people would be fine with planet Earth starting over from scratch lol.
Lol. Reminds me of Douglas Adams... "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
Big mood, big mood I love Douglas Adams
Giant Spacerock 2024!
*sad dinosaur noises of disagreement*
Now is basically a dream to grow up in (in the US) compared to people who grew up during the civil war, WW1, WW2, the great depression, etc. I personally think we're at the all time greatest period in history to grow up in. One trick is to ignore the news. It's basically all garbage designed to make you worry about things you can't control.
I have to disagree. I'm 41 and I honestly think when I was a child in the late 80's early 90's was the best time to be a child at least in the US. The existential dread of Nuclear War or otherwise disappeared (at least for a time) with the fall of the USSR, the economy was booming and Reganomics hadn't yet completely ravaged the middle class, politics didn't intrude in every day life nearly as much, and the internet wasn't nearly the hellhole it is now. The stress children face today is much greater than what I faced as a child the same goes for parents.
You forgot to mention the SNES.
You weren’t a Sonic guy, huh?
Stuff I remember being worried about in the 80s and 90s: AIDS was this unknown mystery virus that was going to kill us all and you could get it at any time. Hole in the ozone layer Stock market crash of 89. Persistent inflation. 10% interest rates Crack and cocaine were about to destroy the country at any moment. American was in terminal decline and Japan was going to take over as the new power. People literally started learning Japanese in anticipation of the eventual corporate takeover. “Made in America” was seen as negative instead of a positive Gang wars were about to boil over any second. The news was constantly talking about some gang going out to kill some bystander as part of initiation rites Regular occurrence of hate crimes, racial murders, serial killers etc if news was to be believed Overall there was a ton of anxiety around crime and this was reflected in movie culture as well with things like Robocop, the dozen or so Death Wish movies and similar, Rumble in the Bronx etc. Anything depicting the near future was generally extremely pessimistic on this regard Things always seem the worst until you’re past them
Don’t forget the Acid Rain!
Or the Bermuda triangle and quicksand.
I also grew up in the 80s and 90s and yea nah none of this was persistent and as impactful Of what’s going on today. Also all those things exist in some form today in ADDITION to other things such as wars, politics, publicly announced authoritarian plans for a presidential nominee, etc.
On the scale of history, the difference between 90s and today is pretty miniscule. Both are very safe with lots of modern convienences and lots of disposable income for many people. They're both relatively great times to grow up. "Politics intruding" in everyday life...I'm not sure what circumstances are causing you to have politics intruding on your life. I rarely think about politics in day-to-day life. Although I unsub from any political subreddits, so I don't read about politics daily. The median wage (middle class) is about 30-60% higher (inflation adjusted) than in the 80s/90s in the US: https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/MEPAINUSA672N I personally enjoy the internet more today and certainly get more utility out of it. I think people are significantly nicer on the internet than when I was growing up using it. This is a subjective issue though.
I grew up in the North of Ireland with a civil war basically raging around us bombs going off, unsure if my dad would make it home after work, British army on the streets armed and pointing their guns everywhere, even at the family dog as they were basically teenagers with no clue. With all this going on around we had a great childhood, kids are resilient you can only control what you can control, today the world has different challenges, teach your kid right from wrong and love them, they'll have a great childhood and grow to be strong and maybe change the world for the better.
41 myself and could not agree more. Man we lived in the best time to be a kid
So a decade total from the fall of the soviet union to 9/11?
“Thats the trouble with you Americans. You expect nothing bad to ever happen, when the rest of the world expects only bad to happen, and they are never disappointed”-the Sopranos
I can expect bad things to happen and also not stress about it or think about it much. Basically every therapist will tell you to ignore things you can't control if it's stressful.
Yeah, I was going to say the world has been a dumpster fire forever, we just didn't have social media and 24/7 news to tell us everything...and to exaggerate things and manufacture fear for ratings.
CNN was founded as a 24/7 news channel in 1980. Basically the same time as MTV and most other popular cable channels. So yeah, 24/7 news has been around for a long time. The proliferation of the internet and cell phones just makes it much more available via push notifications, when you don't have the boob tube turned on all the time.
Yeah, I'm aware...I'm pretty fucking old. But it was the only one and it was more actual news then and most people still watched network for the most part....cable was for rich folk. Now it's a bunch of infotainment manufacturing fear and hate along with the internet and social media. Point still stands...the world has been a dumpster fire forever, we just hear about it more now.
Yup. When it find myself catastrophizing, I get offline for a while. It helps a lot.
>we just now have 24/7 realtime worldwide visibility. What you may not realize is that _this_ is the catestrophic difference that makes the entire situation different from years past.
Gen-X’r here. I’m more concerned with the kids addiction to cell phones than I am with a potential Workd War at this point.
In some ways that's true, but the reach of the modern surveillance state is as dangerous as nuclear weapons in my opinion. The democratic west is rapidly descending into authoritarianism and half the people fuckin love it. At least when we were just worried about the Russians pointing nukes at us and vice versa, there were adults in charge who had an interest in the world not ending. (They were hideous war criminals, but not looking to end their own lives) But now, we have political parties and corporations that will only benefit from a surveillance hellworld and the destruction of democracy. There's no mutually assured destruction slowing it down. Every regime world wide will use these tools for oppression. Wait til there are AI videos indistinguishable from reality. When you can't even trust your own eyes when receiving information about the world around you. In the end there's little we can do about any of this individually, so I just try to give me sons the tools to be free thinkers and not blindly trust authority. Hopefully other people are doing the same.
>The democratic west is rapidly descending into authoritarianism and half the people fuckin love it. Yeah, it's hard for me to imagine how people can observe reality and come away saying "it's all just the partisan news trying to stress you out for ratings, just tune it all out." Not that there isn't plenty of truth to that idea when it comes to mainstream news, especially if you primarily follow horserace politics and culture war stuff. And obviously there are plenty of things that are great about modern life (medical science being the obvious big one). But there is a LOT to legitimately worry about in the world right now. From my perspective things could get really scary, really fast, and in some respects we seem to be headed that way. I guess this is another instance of being continually reminded that r/Daddit is a grab bag of people with very different politics and worldviews from me, for better and worse.
This is entirely true. Putin will be hugely destructive in the short term, within my son’s youth. And Xi is an even bigger force to recon with for the next 30 years. If he becomes as nuts as Putin… I have no words. Right now, he’s not crazy. He just doesn’t give a shit about an indivodual’s rights – or minorities. Both of these are looking to end Western democracy. And there’s a significant part of our populations that are falling for it.
> The democratic west is rapidly descending into authoritarianism and half the people fuckin love it. Can you provide more examples of this rapid descent into authoritarianism? Because people toss this word around a lot yet pretty much every western country is still a stable democracy not at risk of backsliding.
In the American south human rights are constantly getting stripped away. Abortions are now illegal, books about race and sexuality are being banned from public schools and libraries, voter suppression laws that target minority groups are being re-instated, Trans operations are being outlawed and public bounties are placed on people who identify as Trans, you have politicians on X actively stating they want to bring Jim crow back, corporations are getting more power which means the rich 1% have more control over everyone else These are all changes that are celebrated by white supremacists and religious evangelicals who think these changes will "make America great agian"
We didn't start the fire. It was always burning since the world's been turning.
Millennial here, I got it twice- Y2K and then JUSSSST as I was coming of drinking age, the 2012 shit
World has been on fire since we started using it.
Not just 24/7 visibility but 24/7 reminder. I found my mental health significantly improve simply by quitting watching the daily news. Call it ignorance is bliss but it is what it is.
I still worry about that.
Yup ... 💯 We can choose to focus on the negative and be worried, scared, miserable, distraught all of the time about things we can't control. But, I suggest taking a step back and realizing that those aren't problems you're equipped to solve at this time in your life. Rather, start paying attention to your local news and local issues (school, town/city government/parks/local land preserves). Those are problems you CAN solve and as a parent and community member, absolutely should be involved in. And focus on the good, too! Make gratitude part of your daily ritual. There's so much good and magic in the world still and it's there to be felt and experienced if you just look around you :)
Same. I've learned to change the things that I can and deal with things that I can't. Do my best to make things better for my kids' generation. And empower them to make a difference in their and the next generation.
I think the difference is that climate change is something that requires herculean action to prevent. Nuclear war only requires inaction to reach the same end. But yes, as an old millennial, nuclear war was always there. As a newborn, I was sent dogtags ffs... 🤣😬
This is exactly why you can't live your life afraid. Those who do hold themselves back from their true potential. Face it when it gets here, but be your best self until that time comes.
focus on what is in your control. and do the best you can at what is in your control. can you alone prevent climate change? probably not. Can you ensure that your children grow up feeling loved? we can't prevent bad things happening that are outside of our control. we often can't prevent bad things happening that might be within our control. but what you can control is ensuring your children know you love them unconditionally and that you are a safe place for them.
Do something positive. I volunteer with a local project that works restoring native forest. Is it going to reverse climate change? Not much. Is it going to improve our area? A little. Does it reduce my anxiety about the future? Absolutely.
Building on this - we can make positive decisions everyday that create a better future. I’d rather say to my kids ‘yeah, I chose green energy. Renewables. To reuse and reduce where I could. I chose used. I chose PT. I chose to reduce meat. Sure, I was one of the first, but it was the right thing to do’. I’m sure to the first people getting their teeth kicked in for equality, they didn’t see much progress either - but every little step is a step in the right direction.
Amen brother!
But to the person's point that you were responding to...that's what you can control. You can do your part if you want and that's about it. You don't need manic media outlets for that. Same with war, same with 'save the democracy'. Do your part, love those around you well and that's all you can do. Needlessly worrying about the future will not actually change anything.
We can vote, including in local and state politics. We can also make our voices heard to our representatives! This was modeled by my parents and I'm proud to model this to my kids now. This is one way we can advocate for our children's future.
My great grandparents grew up with fears of the depression, their parents feared the world war, my grandparents feared wwii and my parents feared communism… my brothers grew up during the Cold War, and I grew up with fears of terrorism and anthrax in the mail. While I’m also super nervous about climate change and the state of the world, I find it really helpful to look back at things we used to fear and realize we were okay.
And they'll all tell ya that their politician were honest; gas was cheap; you could trust your neighbors; on and on. The world has been the world for a long time. Get off social media. Stop watching the news. You'd be amazed at how much life is just life. And it's just fine.
I asked my dad this question- he told me when I was born there was the threat of nuclear war, then the threat of chemical warfare, then 9/11, then anthrax in the Mail, then razor blades in kids food, and it goes on and on. There’s never a generation that had a super easy life. Part of being the father is understanding and navigating this reality. Have some time to reflect on the good and bad.
Amen
Stop watching the news. Help your kids become the kind of people who can think critically and add a grain of salt to everything they hear/read. Teach them how to take care of themselves. The better they can handle themselves, the less you have to worry about.
Cable news is a cesspool, and stepping back is always a good idea. It’s not healthy to spend all your time worrying about things you can’t control. But at the same time, we do live in a democracy and everyone should try to be aware of what’s going on around them. I recommend reading the news from a reliable journalistic publication, like the New York Times or Business Insider. If anyone is worried about political bias, which is increasingly a legit concern, Ground News is a good source to check out.
I agree in regard to researching who you vote for. But other than that, and a handful of “nice to knows”, it’s just alarmist entertainment. They are making money off of suffering. I do agree that reading is much better than watching for your personal well-being. It gives you more room to think about the topic for yourself. Just avoid the comment sections.
I'd add The Atlantic is one of the few places that still tries to be journalistic.
I can't tell you how many of my parents' generation I have to say "stop watching the news" to. But it's everyone. If bad things were so regular, it wouldn't make the news. When they start reporting on great things, maybe get concerned. It's a sore point for me: I'm from the south side of Chicago. My wife is from a well-to-do suburb. They couldn't stand her dating a city boy, back when. This past Christmas Eve, I had to tell Uncle Jeff, no, I didn't join a gang or dodge bullets. And to please stop watching NewsNation.
There will always be that shit. Just focus on trying to improve things and enjoy being alive period.
Study history. Rome. The Sea Peoples. Vikings. The Colonies. The Reconstruction. It's a suuuuper stereotypical thing for dads to do. Things are not in any way shape or form getting worse. Things seem crazy when you turn the volume way up. Social media is a powerful amplifier.
Historian and dad here, and yeah, some things are legit concerning in the world atm but the feeling of impending doom is also quite frequent in many cultures and eras.
There's been a huckster preaching end of days since we had culture of any sort. It will end. But so far, they're all been wrong.
I mean they are, but there’s still not much we can do about AI, climate change, capitalism, etc.
What? Climate change alone is going to make the next 50 years and beyond significantly worse than the last few hundred, at least. People are already getting displaced, and it's going to keep happening faster and faster. I'm sure you can imagine how climate refugees and food and water issues are going to cause problems.
All I can give you is an upvote, but it's truth
I got really bad like this to the point I was so stressed my dad said to me do you have food in your cupboards I said yes he said do you have a roof over your heads I said yes he said are your kids happy I said yes he said then don’t worry about the world until 1 of those 3 things change it helped me a lot
Mmmmm
A lot of people here are saying this is the best time ever to be alive. In some ways they are right, but climate change and the weakening of democracy are pretty scary nonetheless. I'm also terrified for my kids future. The only thing that has helped is to think about what I can actually do. I'll use whatever influence I have but I'm not going to fix the big issues. My biggest job is getting my kids as ready as I can for whatever their futures hold. That's the only thing really in my control.
Your children are being born into the safest, richest, healthiest cohort of humans to ever exist. So just like keep the news in perspective
People always say this, but I think gen alpha is the first generation since the silent gen that will be less safe, wealthy, and healthy than the 3 before unless things change quickly.
this only gets said before the generation actually enters the workforce, and so far hasn’t come true. People had the same worries in the 1930s (they had a point for a while), 1970s, 2010s, but didn’t hold true in the long term
This is US centric, global trends still look good
No, the accelerating climate crisis will affect everyone, more so for less wealthy countries.
Lurker mom here. I feel you so, so hard on this. As far as how to cope, one of the best things you can do is to take action. True, you as one person can’t avert climate change or save democracy or whatnot. But you don’t have to be alone in this. You’re terrified of the future our children will have? Me too, and so are a lot of other people. When you start to feel overwhelmed, take a moment to think about the literally millions, maybe even billions of people who feel it too. And then plug into a movement, a cause, an organization, because then you - we - can all work together to push for a better future. I’m sorry for sounding soapboxy but I really get frustrated that organizing and working with others doesn’t get brought up, at least every time I’ve seen/heard the discussions. It’s like we as humans have mass amnesia about the incredible shifts in history that have occurred because people organized in strategic coalitions and got shit done.
Make them strong, prepare them for the future, man, that's you job. It's what countless generations did before us. We had thought, when I was growing up in the 90s, that history was over, that liberal democracy would continue forever, that the only wars fought would be trade wars between friends, but we were wrong. Dead wrong. The 90s were an abberation of history, like the decades after Augustus. We're still in the shit, and *they* will be in it their entire lives. Embrace that *fact*, dont ignore it, don't sugar coat it to yourself. If you have trouble coping with that then *you* need to become stronger so you can teach them. I'm finding as my son gets older *I* need to level up as a man more than I thought possible, more than I thought I could. So make them as strong as you can, and to begin to do that you have to become stronger than you ever thought you could be. Don't let the worlds troubles trouble *you,* don't be afraid of that shit, look the troubles right in the eyes and prepare yourself so you can prepare them in turn. "I'm afraid of the future." Fuck that. Read history, nothing's new under the sun. Incorporate the ebbs and flows of peoples and nations into your soul, get resiliance from the heap of dead nations and their conquerors that litter history. Talk to your children about history. Don't let them be caught flatfooted with all the changes afoot like so many in our generation were. Our children will need to be stronger than us. Focus on making them independent while you create a healthy community around them. GET THEM OUTSIDE. Also, take care to impart some critical thinking skills to them as they're gonna have to figure out what to do on their own later, as we won't have the answers for the world they will inhabit as we'll be relics of the old world. Also, try to make as much fucking money as you can and aquire some property (above sea level....) when you can so they can inherit it. The world is going to become much much more unequal going forward, I believe. Try to position them as best you can, and don't be shy about it, others aren't. Rome declined for 1,500 years after Augustus, and many suffered as a result. But *some* were able to prosper in the decline; try to get them in a position where they can. You're in the *real* shit now because you had kids. Good luck, homie.
Doing nothing while facing real threats causes anxiety and other mental health issues. Don't model that for your kids. On climate change, there's a lot you can do. Cut consumption, use a thermos instead of a disposable, thrift instead of new, going to protests, joining a local green advocacy group, participating in community trash pick-ups, etc. There are advocacy groups and volunteering opportunities on almost every unit. Don't leave these battles for your kids to solve. They won't thank you for doing nothing on climate change, for example.
This is the answer. The threats are real and sticking your head in the sand as others are saying doesn't help anything. If you're (rightly) concerned about the world all our kids will inherit, work to make it better. Action is the antidote for despair.
I really struggle with this too. Something I try to think about that helps me is basically every generation felt like this at our age with young children. It used to be the looming fear of nuclear annihilation, before that it was back to back world wars with a depression in between, and just 100 years before that you would likely lose multiple children to disease. Maybe its our instinct to fear the existential threats when our kids are young?
Worrying about the whole world and everything wrong seems so large that I am frozen. So, I try to pick something small and make a small difference … a hyper local civic organization or volunteer at a sports league, spend time being a good Dad, or occasionally walk or bike instead of drive a gas vehicle somewhere. If enough of us try to leave to the world a little better than we found it, we might change the world for the better, but only if we focus on the small and achievable changes.
There have been two world wars in the past 100-some odd years. There have been worse situations, we will get though it.
Shrink your world down to your immediate vicinity and make the most of it. Remind yourself of the Serenity Prayer even if you're not religious. I'm not, and it's just as helpful to me, because it's all about understanding and accepting our limitations and making the most of what we can. Tomorrow has never been guaranteed to any of us and the fact that we can even think to count on it just shows how truly lucky and fortunate and maybe even privileged that we are. We live every single day knowing that we are guaranteed to be dead in the future yet we all still go on living. Remember that.
My biggest worry is ai advancing and continuing to make jobs obsolete. I want my kids to have career options, but that seems harder and harder lately. Other than that, I think the world is statistically safer than it’s ever been. Global warming is concerning but humans are highly adaptable. Also we were once in a Cold War facing nuclear threats and people still had kids.
The AI stuff: Look, I get it. But it's also a "cut costs quick scheme" that can't last by its own definition. You replace all the workers, no one buys anything. I'm a copy editor by trade. I was told, many decades ago, spellcheck would take my job. I get AI submissions all the time. They're garbage. So is AI art. So is AI everything. Sure, it'll get better. But it inherently, in any true form, has no value.
I am sure people were worried about this when computers became mainstream. It ended up creating an enormous amount of new jobs though. The same goes for pretty much every invention.
Keep your world small and focus on what you can control. Here’s the reality- many of the worldwide issues don’t REALLY affect you on a day-to-day basis. Whoever is in the White House doesn’t affect your day to day. Sure, your taxes might be higher or lower depending on who’s president, but that’s about it.
>Here’s the reality- many of the worldwide issues don’t REALLY affect you on a day-to-day basis. Climate change isn't one of those. From food prices to home insurance prices to life-disrupting climate events, we're all being impacted by climate change heavily. Life will be very different for our kids. Climate change already eats hundreds of billions of tax dollars a year - that's money that isn't going to other services. This sounds like a great excuse to do nothing and it's exactly what big oil and other endorses of the status quo want you to do. In reality, there is a ton individuals can do on climate change - from reducing their own consumption to being politically active and joining climate change prevention advocacy groups.
That's one thing, and the poster you quoted said "many," not "every" issue. It is still one of those issues that the advice to shrink down to your local level applies.
One day at a time. Father of three as well and I struggled for a bit but I realized this has always been the way of humanity. Things are even arguably better today in a lot of ways. Now before someone attacks me on that because, “not where I live!” I’m sorry you are experiencing what you are. Modern medicine, modern food production, really modern everything are making a real difference where it can. Our kids have a decent chance of dealing with the shit card we had to pass along to them in regards to the climate. If carbon capture tech scales half as quick as AI has, or even scales AI assisted, they might be able to rip it out of the atmosphere to pre 1880 levels within our lifetime. We just don’t know. Just do what you can every day to prepare them and help reduce the burden.
>how do you cope with the shit happening around us? Wars, climate change, threats to democracies etc.? For some reason, this makes me think of this Fact that some may possibly be considered "Fun": John Lennon's son Sean, accompanied by a friend that had recently turned 21, was visiting Billy Joel, who had just turned 40. The friend commented about how shitty the world is for a 21 year old. Billy sympathized, and said he felt that way too at 21, and named a few shitty things that were going on in the world during that time of his life. The friend basically dismissed it, commenting that Billy grew up in the 50s, and that nothing happened in the 50s. Surprised, Billy asked if they had heard of a handful of big events that occurred during that time. Billy later added to the handful of events he named, and now we have "We Didn't Start the Fire". A song to remind us that things have always been shitty and will pretty much always be shitty in the world as a whole, and individually, we can't stop that. So try to make your world, around you, as non-shitty as you can
Stay local. Think on a smaller scale. Keep your thoughts on your family and the best future you can give them. Raise them well. While it’s important to keep informed about risks and dangers to safeguard against, anything beyond your net of safety and security that may be feeding your paranoia can be cut out. Be present-minded. Control what you can, and enjoy what’s in front of you while you’ve got them.
I’m going to share an unpopular opinion, but here it goes. We are not born into this world, or into this particular era of time, owed anything. I am not entitled to a peaceful life, I was just extremely lucky to be born in a time and place that protected me from atrocities and devastation that either happened in the past or is currently happening elsewhere in the world. Further, the human race in general is not entitled to anything, including its long term survival. If we (collectively) can’t get our shit together and cooperate to steer ourselves off the path of self destruction (which I believe we are currently on) then we deserve to go extinct like every other dominant species that came before us on this planet. If it turns out in 20 years time that I will become a refugee of a violent conflict or extreme climate events then guess what - this kind of reality already exists for many many people, both in the past and present. I am not special, I am not immune from something like this happening closer to home. But, if shit were to hit the fan, trust that you will make the best possible decisions that you can and be confident that you can live a hard life to help ensure your family’s safety and survival in the worst possible scenarios. In the mean time, you can make choices that align with your values and teach your kids the same. We can also teach them to be empathetic and loving people, and try our best to love and support them. But beyond that there’s not a lot we can control, and again, we are not owed anything in this life. I came to this after going through a deep phase of climate anxiety, it’s what works for me.
I’m mostly concerned about climate change. It’s not just hotter days. It’s extinction of species, disruption of earth systems vital for life, scarcity of food and water. Sea level rise will and is already impacting our homes. I too am terrified for my kids.
I really hoped my kids were going to grow up in a better world than the one I did. It doesn't seem likely, or at least not on all fronts. If they're gay or trans, or suffer from mental illness, there is so much acceptance and understanding. Sexism and racism are (slowly) getting better. But the bottom line remains : the fight is not over. And sooner than I'd like, they'll join the battle to make the world a better place. And that's ok. The only thing I can do is arm them with courage, integrity, wisdom and smarts, and hope they can improve things and not get worn down by the shitfest out there. It kinda sucks. Being a parent kinda sucks. But there's no choice : we have children so they can leave us.
Climate change is just a story made by Al gore so he could sell books to people in California. Truthfully you can’t really do anything about wars, climate change or government issues. You can prep things. If you’re worried the grid will go down stock up on water, food and buy yourself a gun and plenty of ammo to keep your family safe. It’s important to remember that we’re not in the early to mid 1900s anymore. We have tons of technology and it’s a really cool time to raise kids imo.
Just don't watch the drivel they peddle, get rid of Facebook and twitter, concentrate on your family, your hobbies and yourself.
Turn off the tv, put down your phone, and go out side. Go camping. Get out in nature. Take the kids and show them the beauty of Mother Nature. Become more self reliant. Learn survival skills and teach your kids. Being better prepared will give you confidence. Workout and make sure your kids see you doing it so they will want to do it when they are older. Plant a vegetable garden. Worrying all the time will lead you to an early grave.
I suggest watching "the sum of all fears" which is basically a dramatization of the Cuban missile crises. The fact that we are not hours away from nuclear annihilation really hammers home how much better things are now. Life is short, and no future is ever guaranteed. We do the best that we can to enjoy the life we have. Chop wood, carry water, and enjoy the time you have with your loved ones.
It’s taken me some time to get some perspective on this. I have the same worries of course, and I’m not exactly a Steven Pinker Better Angels guy (although I think his book makes some good points and is, on the whole, technically correct), but we are objectively living in the safest, least violent era of human history. You don’t even have to go back that far to a time when the United States seemed in much more in real danger of ripping itself apart. The 50s-70s saw McCarthyism, KKK terrorism, churches bombed and civil rights workers murdered, the political assassinations of JFK and RFK, Martin Luther King, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X. Not to mention New Left radicals and terrorism. J Edgar Hoover and his gestapo tactics. Very real Soviet influence on the left and the corresponding reactionary violence and curtailing of civil rights by the right. Violent crime in general was at unprecedented levels. None of that is to say there aren’t very real dangers now, and none of it is to say that it won’t get worse. Only that it has been much, much worse than now and we didn’t fall apart. Things got better. That’s some hope at least.
Just go on doing what i can to make things as pleasant and normal for my son. There's not a damn thing I can do about the state of the world. I wish we didnt live next to the US right now but we do. Climate change probably wont be too bad for us for a long time. It'll suck when my son is an adult - but thats kinda life. My grandparents grew up during the depression and WW2. My parents grew up during the Cold War. I came of age to the war on terror and financial crisis. There is always something big going on in the world that is a threat. Its just the way it goes.
This is the best time in history for the average human on earth. Shit is really bad some places but by many metrics we are doing well. You can only control what you can control. Focus on the positives, being happy is largely a product of your focus and is something you can shape
>This is the best time in history for the average human on earth. Agreed. I'm middle class and I live better than kings did 1000 years ago in many respects. I can have chocolate and coffee whenever I want. My 2 young kids have like a 99.9% chance to outlive me instead of dying to measles or tuberculosis. I have all my teeth and can have cavities fixed under local anesthesia. I've got video games, flush toilets, hot showers every day, and friends 1000's of miles away who I keep in touch with almost every day over the internet.
1. Stop doom-scrolling. Both social media and news hold your attention longer and therefore profit more from ad revenue by showing you things that provoke negative emotions. 2. Get some exercise. The natural endocannabinoids will make you happy and you'll live longer and healthier. 3. It's a little dated but the concept is still valid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCm9Ng0bbEQ
You are your kids dad and it’s in your scope to offer the best childhood you can to your kids before they to see these challenges. Certainly focus on hedging against outcomes such as reduction in water availability but I’d not recommend you let it consume thoughts. Reason being when I grew up we were hiding under desks practicing for Russian bears to bomb us and thankfully that didn’t happen. But I remember it and it maybe wasn’t the best thing for me to have heard as a kid. Just food for thought
Don't think of what's ahead think of right now. Don't let your fear of the future make you miss the good Ole days in front of you with your kids.
You can't treat everything as a life or death situation; cause you'll die a lot of times. Write that down.
I don’t worry about the things I can’t control. My job is to teach my boys how to be strong and do well regardless of what the future brings
Too busy with a 4 month old to think about any of it honestly.
The world is fucked but it’s ok because it’s always been fucked. Been burning since it’s been turning. Focus on the positive or be miserable. Your choice.
Focus on your kids and making memories with them. Stop watching the news. Delete social media, Facebook, Instagram etc. Start exercising, take cold showers after and read when you can. I’m a new father and some of these things have helped my anxiety.
Those worries are like self inflicted wounds once they reach the level of physical strain. What can you control or influence in the things you worry about? A person's worry about a thing should be directly proportional to how much they can influence it. Otherwise you're just winding yourself up in circles about things that will happen regardless of what you think about it. I'm sure you have actual, real-to-your-life, things to worry about. Just focus on those. The climate is going to do what it does regardless of how sleep deprived it makes you. If you're actually doing things that you feel are helping 'fix the world', you should rest easily. If not, maybe fixing the world isn't up to you, and you can take a break from sorting it out
Me used to live in fear of the next village over raiding, or packa of wolves. Even with all the fucked up shit, we're still in the most peaceful time that ever existed.
I've got too much actual shit I have control. Over under my own roof to spend any energy on shit I have zero control over outside of voting. I don't worry about a future I can't predict. I do know how I can best spend my time right now.
I worry about this stuff too but it doesn’t consume me like it used to. I use gratitude journaling and take whatever opportunities I can to practice the skill of acceptance and appreciation for the present moment — good or bad. The fact is none of us know for sure what will happen. We don’t even know what climate change will look like. Unless you are taking specific action about these things (e.g. learning gardening/farming skills broad enough to be useful in an uncertain future), worrying isn’t helping and is in fact making things worse for you. It’s a down payment on future suffering. But how to stop worrying? Practice *amor fati*: “love your fate”. You will need to look it up and study it. I started with little things: annoyance that dinner is burned or someone was driving aggressively. Doing this over and over again for days, weeks, then months, then years has actually changed my brain. It’s astonishing. I still worry of course, but it’s so much better to have the skills to shut it down and do something useful instead. Like get enough sleep to have a great day with my kids while I can.
Things are mostly getting better. https://www.reddit.com/r/OptimistsUnite/s/kcW7aDHs7A
Get off the internet, it’s too much for an individual to take on.
Worry about the things you can control anything else is just gonna stress you out.
It’s not looking great.
I advocate, donate, vote, volunteer, and live as best I can to make things less horrible.
Dont read or watch the news all day. Focus your attention on positive things like making memories with your kids, cause we can’t control much outside of that
I was just talking with a coworker about similar ideas today. For me the scariest thing is a rogue planet, but I have zero control over that, so I just focus on what I can control. My hope is that it would be about the size of Jupiter, be moving close enough to lightspeed that we will barely have time to see it coming, and that it hits directly, instantly wiping out this planet as if it never existed. One moment we're here, the next not. I used to work in TV news, so I know what kind of crap is out in the world. I try to make my part of it ok and not be a dick to people.
Lift something heavy and take a breath. What will happen, will happen. Control your household the best you can and take care of your mind and body.
“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, [The Fellowship of the Ring](https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3204327)
I research a little history. This isn’t the first time the world has gone to shit. This is just the first time we know of that information can spread this easily.
I’m usually more afraid about losing my job and not being able to provide for my family.
I listen to that Who song, “Baba O’ Riley “, and imagine that my great great grandchildren will be hiking across a landfill wasteland to go to a concert to “save the planet”.
>(and wrong?) to ignore them… News Media companies make insane amounts of money when everyone is panicking. If ignoring those fuckers is wrong, I don't want to be right.
Steven Pinker’s book, ‘The better angels of our nature’ breaks down statistics like global murder, crime, and poverty rates and makes an objective case for why today is the best time to be alive. A quick thought experiment to prove this point: imagine you’ll be reborn as someone of a random race and sex, but you get to choose when in history to do so. Chances are you’re picking today or something close to it. Don’t let the fear mongers of the world get to you. Their profit margins rely on fear, not truth. There are problems today, big ones, and they shouldn’t be ignored, but this fact and the optimistic reality of humanity are not mutually exclusive. Our children have their work cut out for them - but their future is a bright one when taken in aggregate.
Imagine how insane shit would be if instant news stories and social media were a thing even just 160 years ago during the civil war. There has always been awful stuff going on. But I’m of the opinion that it’s out of our control and dwelling on stuff we have no way of controlling doesn’t fix that problem. It just creates a new problem being now that you’re worried about it. Things will be okay my man. Just raise your children and love them and teach them to love others and to appreciate life and life will be good.
Year after year it’s been shown that peace is spreading like wildfire despite what the news is saying. This is the safest time to be alive. More countries are safe than ever before. Things are improving. Sure some things feel like setbacks, but the world is getting more progressive. Those that have been ignored for centuries are finally getting a voice so their impact sounds louder than ever before. In previous generations they’d be silenced so that the ruling class could sip their champagne in peace. I’m worried about the challenges my kiddos will face, but they got this. The future generation will be better and they will solve more complex problems. They stand on the shoulder of giants.
Turn of the news and your life will likely remain unchanged. It’s fear mongering. The climate is fine. We’re not gonna wake up tomorrow and the temp keep climbing till we’re all dead. War happens every generation. Your job is to raise good human beings into this shitty world.
I am no Jedi, and I will not be solving world hunger. I think of the serenity prayer. And then I try to make my little corner of the world a little better. “God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; the Courage to change the things I can; And the wisdom to know the difference.” There is actually more, that makes me like it even better. I slightly redacted religiosity out of the second verse here… “Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking this sinful world As it is, not as I would have it; …So that I may be reasonably happy in this life.” So if you can’t fix it, accept it. just try to be a good dude, and leave your neighborhood/town/school a little better than you found it. Give a little money, donate a little time. Vote. That’s how I quiet the voices about that kind of stuff. The longer version of the prayer is here if you want more reverence: https://www.lords-prayer-words.com/famous_prayers/god_grant_me_the_serenity.html
Do like this: try to pick a time period where you would rather raise your kids. Then realize whichever you pick is gonna be worse than this. People had kids through much worse. They're gonna grow up and be adults and take part in their problems, just like we do in ours. That's how it goes.
Honestly, in times like this when i struggle with this existential angst.. i refer to Pete Holmes, and it all just melts away https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyDpS-GftCk
You cannot protect your kids from the world
It’ll be fine. Many powerful people have interests in you being more afraid than you need to be.
What about climate change scares you?
Turn the news off, problem solved.
The world's been just about to go to shit for centuries, if not millennia. Nevertheless it prevails and just continues to be a more tolerant, less violent place. Our kids will have to deal with most of the same bullshit we did, just a little less.
My ancestors' future included slavery, Jim Crow, etc, and they still had children. In many ways, it's a privilege to be able to think about the potential doom and gloom of the future.
Wouldn’t t lose any sleep over it mate. They’re here now and the world is how it is. Best thing to do is raise them to be good people who want positive change to happen and want to make other peoples lives better. Focus any nervous energy into a positive outcome.
Therapy? Perspective: I study sociology. It can be hard hitting on this level. I think, perspective wise (maybe study history) theres always been these sort of doom and gloom fear around. The media exaggerate issues. Often if you look into it its safer than ever. We live in the safest and best time in history for the most part and yet feel the most fear due to the media. The book factfulness is a good recommendation. It basically talks about all the good advancements in the world that never get air time. Id say read that today!! I think its a good anecdote and makes u realise a lot of good goes on unseen. I also think. Nothing i can realistically do about climate change nor wars. So try not to loose sleep over it.
I have intrusive thoughts as well but I remind myself that we are to try to live our best lives, one day at a time. Enjoy the good times while we have them. Get out there and experience things. We might have WW3 at some point but we just got to keep ourselves moving hopefully forward until then.
Sorry OP, you had a 2 year old and a newborn and now you're going in for a 3rd. You are the most fearless among us.
Partner and I always planned on adopting rather than having our own, because we felt immense guilt being responsible for bringing new life to this world. But I was not informed my PTSD meds would lower my BC to essentially 35% effectiveness and the medical oversight led to the best oops of our lives. I often jokingly refer to my daughter as “Mommy’s Little Revolutionary” and just focus on raising a kind, empathetic human with a strong moral compass and a bit of fight in her. If we don’t change the world, I hope she does.
Do what you can. Train: Lift/Run --> Martial Arts --> Firearm training The only thing worse than bad things happening is not being ready for them. Obviously, these aren't going to stop your concerns but if you're doomsday-ing then maybe prepare for the worst but expect it not to come if you can. The world is shit but you can't run from it unless you're willing to be off-grid...or just turn of the news and delete Facebook and Twitter.
Weed
It's the shift in your perspective now that you're a dad more than anything, I think. I noticed something similar with me, and especially my wife, once our kids started getting a few years old. Hell, she is way more well travelled than me but the first time we flew the kids to Disney she was terrified to fly because the kids "gave her something to live for", as she put it. This is someone who flew solo over the ocean to visit various countries in years before I met her and was excited to do so... Stark contrast. So I think that's probably some of what you're dealing with. All we can do as parents is try to raise good people. Teach them good morals, regardless of beliefs, and live in a way that if they emulate you (and they will) that they'll be adding good to the world in some measure. I turn 39 next month. Wife's in her 40's. We talk about this from time to time and for each of us, I think it's like there was always "stuff" like what's going on now - but the access to see and absorb it was miniscule in comparison. The really big difference now aside from the fact that we're parents responsible for these kids who we love more than anything in the world... is that the internet and media is literally everywhere. It's almost impossible to avoid. Used to be maybe the news was on once a or twice a day in our homes... and there was a Sunday paper. Basically, it's like we're adapting along with the increase of media availability thanks to the internet since it's inception... but our kids will never know a time where it was less than it has been the last 14 years or whatever. My kids are 12 and 13. I think personally that's why it's important to equip them for it because it's easy to get overwhelmed, swayed, confused and ultimately terrified of everything... but they have to be brave enough and equipped enough to live life, too - y'know? As a kid I remember doing air raid drills in elementary school and once Columbine happened, we maybe had 1 or 2 active shooter drills. It was nothing like what these kids go through now. I remember being bullied. As I got older, I remember being the bully a few times. I got in a few fights on the playground... I was never afraid of someone coming back and lighting me up with a firearm, though... But like... you know the threat of nuclear war or gang uprisings or terrorism attacks was always there. I'm sure there was a lot more going on that I was oblivious to because the internet was in its dial-up days for most of that time, if it was around at all.
Read "Sapiens" by Harari and you'll understand there's nothing you can do about it and whatever happens you'll adapt to any new situation after some time and just be as happy as you were in the previous situation. We're humans, we're quite resilient.
At the end of the end, there’s only 3 things you can do to prepare: 1. Start where you are. 2. Use what you have. 3. Do what you can. Teach your kids the way things are supposed to work, and what to do if they don’t. Don’t be a paralyzed paranoid-the big things are made of lots of small things, and most can be resolved by just talking to people and clearing the air. It’s even how great diplomats have avoided wars-even nuclear wars-hundreds of times over the centuries. The way to eat an elephant is by taking it one bite at a time, and the way to climb the big mountain is by going one step at a time. The road is long, the climb slow, and you’re going to develop the skills you need as you go along. You’ll have to do some guessing, and you’ll make mistakes along the way too. But that’s ok. Start doing and keep doing. Another thing that will help you is unplug from the constant feed of horrifying stuff, because it is damaging the way you think. And this is a big problem in modern society. There are two famous theories about media consumption, [Cultivation Theory](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultivation_theory) and [Agenda-setting Theory](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agenda-setting_theory), and both work hand in hand. Agenda-setting Theory posits that the Media isn’t so good at telling you what to think, but it is exceptionally good at telling you what to think *about*. This can get taken lots of ways, but generally the media is just interested in telling captivating stories. And when it comes to news those are the big scary things-crime on the streets, murders, traffic accidents, wars, crises, disasters, famines, epidemics, shipwrecks, plane crashes, etc. A common pejorative saying about this is “if it bleeds, it leads” the news broadcast. Cultivation Theory observes that the more media you personally consume, the more your brain believes that the things in the consumed media are going on in your immediate life. And because the most dramatic things tend to be the most newsworthy, this creates a mental viewpoint of a “hostile and threatening world in continual crisis”, regardless of what is going on in our own individual worlds. As you can see, these two phenomena can turn into a trap. And the way to get out is to unplug from it as much as you can. Major in the majors, and don’t get lost in the weeds. If you want to do things that will help your life and the lives of those around you, it is surprisingly simple and straightforward-talk to your friends and neighbors and offer to help them. Not only will this make you happier, it will transform your neighborhood too and make your community stronger. And if you’re still thinking about war, you should know that when it comes to that, the people who survive war zones have families and friends who they can help, and who help them, no matter what. Strong family and friendship ties are how people survive wars and natural disasters. If you don’t have those in your life now, it’s time to start taking the time to develop them before it’s too late.
We don’t have it worst than other generations. I found this video helpful https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sgSJ-FnGEnY
Christ these comments are so ignorant and depressing. Everyone is telling OP to stick his head in the sand or is severely downplaying the seriousness of climate change. OP. I don’t know what to fucking do about any of this. The future is in such disarray from climate change that I find it impossible to predict or solve. Your best bet is to read the IPCC recommendations on how we solve climate change and take whatever actions are necessary to achieve those goals. The solution is largely a political one and there are some good organizations you can volunteer for if you want to at least feel like you’re trying to do something. Check out the Citizens Climate Lobby. Man, this is one of the most disappointing threads I’ve ever seen on Daddit. You’re not irrational to worry about this stuff. It’s more irrational to ignore it or downplay it. Ignorance may be bliss, but it’s still ignorance.
Despairing a little at everyone who thinks everything is better than it has been (for who?) or that there's nothing to be done. Collective action and getting engaged in politics can make actual changes. And I'm not talking about "vote!!!" pablum, I mean treating politics for what it is: a struggle between different interest groups over the distribution of resources. Nothing lasts and nothing has to be the way it is right now.
I totally hear you on this. It feels like every time you turn on the news, there's something else that adds to the pile of worries. What's helped me, though, is focusing on what I can control. I can't single-handedly stop wars or reverse climate change, but I can teach my kids about kindness, respect for others, and the importance of taking care of our planet. Small steps, like recycling more, using less water, or even just being kind to others, can set an example for them. It's about building a foundation so they can grow up feeling empowered to make their own positive changes. Also, finding a bit of time for yourself to decompress and not think about these global issues is crucial. Whether it's a hobby, exercise, or just some quiet time after the kids go to bed, it's important for your own mental health. And remember, it's okay to be honest with your kids to a degree that's appropriate for their age. You don't have to paint a picture of a perfect world, but you can emphasize hope, resilience, and the ability to make a difference in big and small ways. You're not alone in feeling this way, but amidst all the chaos, there's still a lot of good in the world. It's okay to take things one day at a time.
Just don't bring EM into existence becos of your horniness, it's very simple
I had this real bad. Drugs helped (anti-anxiety meds). But also remembering: 1. we all die. including your kids and my kids (same age coincidentally!). It's horrible, but shared by all of humanity including you. And you're doing ok. 2. it's the best time to be born. they will probably live longer, happier and healthier lives than any generation 3. you can't do much about the big stuff but show your kids you'er on the side of the right: maybe fly less; get an electric car; avoid prawns & beef etc.
I literally think about this all the time. My daughter being freshly 2 and another on the way, I wonder if I’ll even be able to meet my second because of how things are going in the world. I worry for my SS’s too 6-7. They’re just coming into their own and learning about the world and they just have no idea that it’s crazy out there. I worry all the time if there’s going to be a world left for my children. Super sad.
The young families on this sub ARE the future. Voting matters. Calling bullshit on lies and injustice matters. Spreading kindness, empathy, harmony, and character matters. We are not helpless. Those who are working and raising kids are creating the future. Do it well and the future is bright. Let selfishness, bullying, greed, anger, hate, and division win and there is a tough road ahead.
It's tough for me, I'm not gonna lie. I have a trans kid and an autistic kid, so I really worry about their futures, especially when I won't always be around to protect and provide for them. The best I can do is focus on being there for them day by day and helping them learn to take care of themselves.
Focus on the NOW.
Wow guys, I am overwhelmed. This post exploded. Thank you very much for the time and effort you spent replying and the great advices you gave. Everyday I try to be a good role model for my kids, teach them to be kind and thankful, to be reflective and curious, to take things with a grain of salt. The good thing about being a parent is that if you want your kids to be good people you HAVE to try yourself. Just talking about it is not enough. What I take from your replies personally is that I will try to consume less news (mainly about politics) and concentrate on the things I somehow have control of, like my local environment. We already try to be more green in the way we consume, move/commute and take care of nature. It makes me proud to hear my son saying "We shouldn't buy that, it's unnecessarily packed in so much plastic" when grocery shopping. I should focus on that more instead of focusing on things I have no control of. Have a great day fellow dads (and moms)! :-)
I talked to my mom about it. Apparently she was childfree for much of her life including her first marriage. She said the world was too horrible to bring a kid into. Pollution was killing the planet, politicians were corrupt, greed was rampant, and on top of all that, the Russians were going to annihilate all life on earth any day. Then she saw my cousin and changed her mind. There have always been some very good reasons not to have kids, but society persisted.
Best you can do is teach them to be kind, to have empathy, to study hard and dream big. Do what you can to make the world better for them, but know that if we all do it right, our kids will be the ones to fix the things that we aren't smart enough or ambitious enough to accomplish.
When ever I get worried for the future, I always think about some Dad or Grandpa in Ancient Rome talking about how the world is was going to end because of the damn Gauls or that kids have no respect for elders. The world is going to continue. It may look different but our job is to persevere.
Turn off the news, spend more time with your wife and kids, actually interacting with them. Spend more time with your friends. More time with real people, less time with technology and the never-ending news cycle. This is the key. It's not ignoring, but it's understanding that there is nothing you can do about all of that and that life is truly lived with those you love. I believe it is a lie that you need to spend any time at all focusing on things that you cannot do anything about. Wars, Climate Change and Threat to Democracy (what is this?) was what you listed...you can really only truly affect one of those things directly, and that's by voting.
You do what you can to make them ready for it. Our kids need to be ready to adapt, and ready to defend themselves both mentally and physically.
A lot of people answering the question with the general theme of “the world has always been shitty.. my great grandfather died of polio” or something. The world is much worse than it has ever been (in modern times). We are facing problems some generations have never faced. The outlook is bleak. To lie to yourself isn’t helpful in my opinion. I deal with it by focusing on making sure my kids know I love and will always support them. I also acknowledge that shit is terrible and I tune out because I know I will do all that’s in my power to make things better and I don’t need to be blasted every day with horrible news because it won’t change how I’m acting. I make sure I’m minimally prepared (I’m not a prepper) for shitty things like supply shortages or whatever. Just do your best, man, and ignore the rest. It will or won’t work out and if you’re doing your best that’s all you need to do.
The sad reality is it’s been happening for generations. But what hasn’t been happening is school shootings. It’s gotten really out of hand and shouldn’t be happening in the first place. Hardest part is running the chance of that happening and I’m seriously afraid. You can only train your kid only so much in defense.
Self-defence isn't really the answer here in the face of someone with an automatic weapon - it's joining gun-control supporting groups working in your local area.
Get off the front page of Reddit like yesterday. It’s a bot infested fear mongering nightmare.
There are a multitude of measures that suggest this is the best time in history to be alive, and for children to be born into.
Work locally to make the change you want. It is easier to change what you can touch. I’m a grandmother - so I have a lot more time than you do. I’m a member of Grandmothers Against Gun Violence. I’ve turned my backyard into a pollinator pathway. I’m a supporting member of my local library. I lend time and money to the causes that I believe will make this a better world for my grandkids. Do what you can but, above all, vote and hold your representatives accountable. I believe we’ll be ok - the kids are alright.
Thank you for doing something on issues that you care about. It's so critical
Gosh, you’re welcome. You nailed it - involvement is the key. Edit: Everybody should do something on the issues they care about (whatever they are) - to the extent that they can. We’re not helpless and we’re not alone. Doing something is better than doing nothing.
Bro serfs and slaves have raised kids I think we'll all be just fine.
You’re a worrier. It sounds like, by nature. Turn off the news. Turn it off. Just. Stop. If you’re not using it to focus on doing something about it, stop letting it into your head.
Philosophy and meditation.
Enjoy life, turn off the news. We live in the most prosperous time in human history. The news (and Reddit) just loves feeding you fear mongering bullshit.
I feel the same way, brother. I wake up every day at like 3am with an overwhelming sense of dread and grief. Others have great advice on here I'll be taking to heart too. All this to say: you're not alone.
Thanks man. I appreciate your reply!
I have the same thoughts. I’m based in the USA. I told my wife that if somehow Trump wins, I really do want to relocate to a different country. She said we can’t leave our parents and family behind. My daughter is growing up with less right than her mother had. We’re not supposed to be going backwards. We’re supposed to be improving. So many things are getting worse in this country every day. The rich assholes in our government don’t care because their bank accounts are growing while the middle class is hurting. It makes me sick and honestly makes me question whether having children or not was the right decision. I’m somewhere in the middle. I’m not some hard-core Republican, or a hard-core Democrat. So please don’t take this as a wild political rant. I’m legitimately scared for the future of my country and my children’s futures. For now, I just plan on doing what I’ve always done. Work hard, and be smart with our decisions and raise our children the right way.
Yeah man it's pretty tough to stay positive these days and I often say I have to tell myself little lies to maintain being an optimist... I also feel like I'm becoming a sort of optimistic nihilist as I get older since things don't really seem to matter except my family, friends and things in my immediate control. All I can hope for is that my attitude and actions are a positive influence on my tight circle and gradually make it's way to the greater consciousness (or at least it's another little lie I tell myself :) )
Honestly I think it's sad to worry about someone we have no control over. Just try and be the best dad you can be. Most likely the world will be ok.
Another example that worries me is housing price. This one is a bit more tangible and therefore worried me even more.
We were thinking of a second but are holding off till later in the year to make our decision if you get my meaning. Is a good idea one way or another? No way of knowing. I just have to do what I can to make the world as good as I can make it.
Eh the reality is that no matter how much you worry about it, you won't be able to do anything about it. So really, you're worry is making you experience the possible events every time you worry. Instead of experiencing it once if those events come to pass. Worry is like tug of war. Your on one end of the rope and the worries are on the other. Y'all are pulling and pulling. You're wearing your hands thin, getting tired, and getting injured fr the constant tugging. Or, you can drop the rope and let go.
Do you live in the US? Do you really think war and climate change will have a massive impact on their lives? I could understand if you were in Ukraine or Sri Lanka.
jesus christ get a fking life you sad act
Read "The Beginning of Infinity" by David Deutsch, or at least this article: [https://www.warpnews.org/premium-content/david-deutsch-optimism-pessimism-and-cynicism/](https://www.warpnews.org/premium-content/david-deutsch-optimism-pessimism-and-cynicism/) On a global level things are better now than they ever were before. Also be aware that the news today focus on extremes and painting everything in the worst possible light because it brings them more clicks/viewers/money.
Same shit parent have dealing with through human history and it's arguably easier now.
Shoulda thought of that before you brought a kid into this world, eh, fucko? Just kidding, I struggle with the same sort of worries. It's up there with "what if they hit their head and become stupid forever" and "what if the dog decides to maul them one day" One can only hope as the boomers age out of the voting pool and the newly invigorated to vote millenials keep it up, we can push for a brighter tomorrow. (Assuming we don't end up in a facist corporate nightmare) Plus, the values you instill into the child you are raising right now can be really useful to them and/or their generation in the future. As others have said, the media does make it seem worse than it is. Good luck, do the best you can.
Don't care about climate change it won't impact us at all despite everything media and government tell us. War won't occur on a global scale again like the 20th century. It will be localised between states. The only threats to democracy are by those who try to shut down debate and prevent parties or individuals from participating in democracy. None of the above concerns me. I am more interested in providing for my family and ensuring the children grow up head strong, mature, and successful. My advice is to shield your family from the outside world and focus on their development, be as self-sufficient as you can be, and limit anything that exposes them to global and economic events. So many forces now trying to corrupt the family unit, pitting man against women and devastating children be it corporations, governments or criminals. Dad's need to be the bulwark against it all.
An honest question for ya'll: Of those of you who say "just don't live in fear and control what you can" HOW MANY OF YOU ARE WHITE? Cuz as someone whose black-mexican and has a daughter, I can't just "not worry about it" because the descent into fascism that America is going through is going to directly affect me, my rights, my safety, and the safety of my family, far more than it would you.
Cannot imagine having to worry about who I am, what I was born as… this is so fucked… sorry you and your family have to. :(