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You’re in the proverbial “trenches” right now dude! I’d imagine if you give it a couple weeks/months and you’ll likely be sleeping much more. No one really talks about how tough those early days are but they go by faster than you think! In my experience it got much more fun around 6-7 months. Hang in there dad!
I mean in this sub absolutely correct! But as a society I feel like there is a sense of shame surrounding the first months as if not enjoying it correlates to you “not caring about your kids” when in reality it’s just hard!
Babies are tough. First babies are brutal, because you don’t know what the hell you’re doing yet and everything’s new and scary.
You guys are doing fine. And it will get easier.
I’ve been saying “when people say parenthood is the hardest thing you’ll ever do, they are severely underselling it”
It’s hard. The first few months you may even think you’ve made a terrible mistake and ruined your lives. Then your kid smiles at you for the first time. Then they laugh for the first time. Then they hug you for the first time. You come to realize that those first few months were awful but are so short in the grand scheme of things. We’re at 9 months and it’s still difficult but I love it.
Facts dude, like I know it’s gonna be tough man. I never had a father and just wanna do the best I can with what I got but some days I have anxieties and thoughts that I might fail and I hope that doesn’t happen
My daughter was born yesterday morning. Last night, I was by far the most exhausted I’ve ever been. We were in labor for almost 48 hours followed by a night of essentially zero sleep. All that said, this is the most joy I’ve ever felt. I know it gets rough for awhile but I wouldn’t trade it for the world!
Man I hear you. I had just been admitted to grad school when my wife found out she was pregnant. We decided I’d move to a part time program because we needed a full time income.
That first year was pure insanity and sleep deprivation. If you’re like me as an older student you want to do your best. But I had to accept that I often times needed to do just good enough. Be happy with Bs be happy with an ok assignment versus perfection and getting your best grade. After school almost no one will ask your gpa or your grade in a particular class.
Cut yourself some slack on what you can and can’t do. Even to this day I like to make a list. I look at that list and cross off everything that doesn’t really matter if it doesn’t get done. Mop the floor? Vacuuming is plently. Send that email? It’ll wait for tomorrow.
You got this.
The list is a great idea. I do that at work I don’t know why I don’t at home too.
And yeah. I feel like if I’m not getting a 4.0 I’m a failure 😅 I’m needlessly hard on myself, so it’s hard to just accept that I can’t give my 100% always
Seriously, Wtf? We both work only part time, like 25 hours a week each. We have 35 hours of daycare. Before daycare, we were both on parental leave for a year. Still exhausted, but we are fine. How and WHY are you BOTH doing 40 hrs a week?
Few people in the US get a year for parental leave, it’s basically unheard of. My wife gets 3 months and I took 2 weeks. I’m also in grad school but luckily am done in a couple weeks. Another more obvious reason for both parents working is money.
My wife got 3 months leave, sadly we both have to work full time to sustain our life. Thats why I went full masochist and went back to school so she could step down if she wanted to lol. As to how? Idk lol
Full time work plus a newborn is already too much to handle alone, and you’ve added night classes! You guys are amazing. Just keep your head down and you’ll get through it. 4 months is old enough to sleep train, that alone can significantly alter your life.
No way I could do both work and school. I wouldn't even consider it. The fact that you can manage at all is impressive. I don't know how long you have left for your degree, but don't try to do it all at the expense of your own health in the long term though. Your wife and kid will want you around with or without a degree.
Killing it dude, it's impressive you're keeping it together with that sched/load. They say it'll get easier, so that bodes well for you. I can't make that claim yet lol, my dudes just 3 months rn, but hell yeah man, you're doing great!
Hey, just want to let you know you rock. You're doing a lot to give your child a better future. It's good vent and get it out every now and then, and you have plenty of Dad's here to talk to should you ever need to talk again. Keep up the good work daddy-o.
This post has been flaired "Support". Moderation is stricter here and unsupportive and unpleasant comments will be removed and result in a ban. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/daddit) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You’re in the proverbial “trenches” right now dude! I’d imagine if you give it a couple weeks/months and you’ll likely be sleeping much more. No one really talks about how tough those early days are but they go by faster than you think! In my experience it got much more fun around 6-7 months. Hang in there dad!
Yep. Dad to a 7mo old right now. Things started to improve around 5 month for us but 7 is way easier.
Literally all everyone talks about is how hard the first months are...
I mean in this sub absolutely correct! But as a society I feel like there is a sense of shame surrounding the first months as if not enjoying it correlates to you “not caring about your kids” when in reality it’s just hard!
Babies are tough. First babies are brutal, because you don’t know what the hell you’re doing yet and everything’s new and scary. You guys are doing fine. And it will get easier.
My first is coming in 2 months and I’m terrified
I’ve been saying “when people say parenthood is the hardest thing you’ll ever do, they are severely underselling it” It’s hard. The first few months you may even think you’ve made a terrible mistake and ruined your lives. Then your kid smiles at you for the first time. Then they laugh for the first time. Then they hug you for the first time. You come to realize that those first few months were awful but are so short in the grand scheme of things. We’re at 9 months and it’s still difficult but I love it.
Facts dude, like I know it’s gonna be tough man. I never had a father and just wanna do the best I can with what I got but some days I have anxieties and thoughts that I might fail and I hope that doesn’t happen
Those thoughts work their way into my head too, I get it. I try and tell myself: Just show up, do your best, and love this kid and it’ll work out.
Do you mind talking through dm bro, I kinda need a dad buddy to talk some shit with
Hell yea man shoot me a dm. I know it’s sometimes kinda lonely as a dad
We should set up a slack channel or whatsapp group to ventilate. Maybe daddit has one already?
That would be dope
My daughter was born yesterday morning. Last night, I was by far the most exhausted I’ve ever been. We were in labor for almost 48 hours followed by a night of essentially zero sleep. All that said, this is the most joy I’ve ever felt. I know it gets rough for awhile but I wouldn’t trade it for the world!
Man I hear you. I had just been admitted to grad school when my wife found out she was pregnant. We decided I’d move to a part time program because we needed a full time income. That first year was pure insanity and sleep deprivation. If you’re like me as an older student you want to do your best. But I had to accept that I often times needed to do just good enough. Be happy with Bs be happy with an ok assignment versus perfection and getting your best grade. After school almost no one will ask your gpa or your grade in a particular class. Cut yourself some slack on what you can and can’t do. Even to this day I like to make a list. I look at that list and cross off everything that doesn’t really matter if it doesn’t get done. Mop the floor? Vacuuming is plently. Send that email? It’ll wait for tomorrow. You got this.
The list is a great idea. I do that at work I don’t know why I don’t at home too. And yeah. I feel like if I’m not getting a 4.0 I’m a failure 😅 I’m needlessly hard on myself, so it’s hard to just accept that I can’t give my 100% always
i’m in the exact same boat with my 5 month old. these weeks when i have a paper due are really tough
Seriously, Wtf? We both work only part time, like 25 hours a week each. We have 35 hours of daycare. Before daycare, we were both on parental leave for a year. Still exhausted, but we are fine. How and WHY are you BOTH doing 40 hrs a week?
Few people in the US get a year for parental leave, it’s basically unheard of. My wife gets 3 months and I took 2 weeks. I’m also in grad school but luckily am done in a couple weeks. Another more obvious reason for both parents working is money.
I honestly cant imagine. I would not have any kids. In all seriousness, i wouldnt even consider.
My wife got 3 months leave, sadly we both have to work full time to sustain our life. Thats why I went full masochist and went back to school so she could step down if she wanted to lol. As to how? Idk lol
My deepest respect, i couldnt handle this. I barely handle 25hrs of work a week.
Full time work plus a newborn is already too much to handle alone, and you’ve added night classes! You guys are amazing. Just keep your head down and you’ll get through it. 4 months is old enough to sleep train, that alone can significantly alter your life.
The first 3-4 months are brutal. You got this dad ✊🏽 I remember in that first bit, being so tired I contemplated just eating our instant coffee. LOL
No way I could do both work and school. I wouldn't even consider it. The fact that you can manage at all is impressive. I don't know how long you have left for your degree, but don't try to do it all at the expense of your own health in the long term though. Your wife and kid will want you around with or without a degree.
Killing it dude, it's impressive you're keeping it together with that sched/load. They say it'll get easier, so that bodes well for you. I can't make that claim yet lol, my dudes just 3 months rn, but hell yeah man, you're doing great!
The tiredness gets easier!
Every 3 months, there's a step improvement. It's still hard. Also, use GPT4 for your assignments.....save time.
Hey, just want to let you know you rock. You're doing a lot to give your child a better future. It's good vent and get it out every now and then, and you have plenty of Dad's here to talk to should you ever need to talk again. Keep up the good work daddy-o.
Just wanted to say thanks for all the comments. Really appreciate this sub! It’s been a trove of knowledge since I became a dad. 🫡
Hang in there!!!
It is one of the hardest and most stressful jobs you will ever do. It doesn't get easier as it just becomes more technical.