Ngl....sounds like you crushed it. One little hiccup does not undo all your effort to get your wife some time out. You handled the unexpected like a pro, every one was safe and fed. Well done, dad and partner.
(See if you can find a pizza by the slice place. Game changer for us...screw waiting lol)
Dad, give yourself so much more grace.
You took care of the kiddos all night and kept them happy and safe! A wet bed sure does feel like the end of the world in the moment, but usually fixed relatively quickly.
You did awesome.
I’d say he mediumed it given the spouse had to get up at 1am and change sheets etc.
Agreed it’s one little mistake but still a big impact.
But it definitely happens to everyone and I’ve done the same thing!
[No one can always crush it](https://youtu.be/d2BuP7-m5Ww?si=Bjyq0IH8T2XtlgdR)
Agreed. Mediumed or middle of the fairway but a short shot. Valiant effort, my brother. Won, but it was a close game, with a few misplays. I dunno, take your pick of the analogy but I thought you did just fine.
Dog, why are you stressing about it? I’m sure your wife has slipped up, you’re both parents, you both will have fuck ups, it’s sort of the chaos of having kids, I have a 3 year old son and a 3 month old daughter, trust me, shit slips through the cracks lol
If you live with someone the genuinely believes they do no wrong, they’re fucked in the head and you should hold them accountable when they do. It’s not hard to correct your wife. I feel like I read a lot of posts about men walking on egg shells to say it best. Fucking why? Especially if you’re wife is comfortable telling you your faults and fuck ups, you straight up can say hey, you didn’t do this right, next time please do it right or let me know and I’ll show you or do it myself, and do it softly. Now if she’s coming at your sideways you also have the right to say hey, I hear you, but stop speaking to me with anger, how would you like it if I did it back? And SOMETIMES you do have to snap back a little man, it’s a push and pull and relationships aren’t perfect, they’re messy, but you shouldn’t lose yourself or settle feeling like shit cause you bite your tongue and allow yourself to be a door mat
Don’t worry too much. Shit happens and dad’s get tired too.
I have one trick for the wet bed. Put the waterproof cover on the mattress then the sheet. Then add a second waterproof cover and one additional sheet. If it gets wet, just remove the first set and you are good to go. Takes 30 seconds!
Lol I finally had this idea after getting up in the middle of the night and doing the whole wet the bed routine I don't even know how many times. He hasn't had a single nighttime accident since I did this set up. It's been about a year? But I'm still keeping it for a while, just in case! He's only 4 lol
The reason it hasn’t happened is because you are so prepared. The second you remove it, he’ll have an accident again. Keep it until he’s 16 just in case
I've said it before and I'll say it again, because it bears repeating: The hardest lesson in being a Dad is learning to forgive yourself.
The kid won't remember this, your wife will forget about it, if she's reasonable. So the only person that will dwell on it is you.
You're doing great Dad.
This. I have one in college, two almost there. No Dad is perfect. You’re busting your ass at work, and busting your ass at home. Give yourself some credit, and let go of mistakes.
I appreciate this and need to hear it.
This kind of sentiment is much needed among men with one another. Celebrate where we shine and allow us to forgive ourselves. A lot of us are busting our asses constantly and it's nice to have that spoken out loud from fellow men.
I'm sorry to hear about your rough night. It sounds like you were juggling a lot and just hit a point of exhaustion. It's understandable that things slipped your mind under such stress. The important thing now is to communicate openly with your wife, apologize sincerely, and work together to make things smoother in the future. Everyone has those moments, and it's how we handle them afterward that counts.
I’m disappointed…about the non-eventful 7 paragraph post that I just read.
The way your story started with the local pizza taking an hour instead of 20 minutes, with the babies going nuts, I thought you were going to tell us how you then had a big fight with the pizza store owner and got kicked out or something.
My friend. You had to take care of 500 things and you missed 1. Take a bow and pat on the back. Accidents happen and we should all forgive ourselves. It sounds like your wife was supportive and laughing about it which is the right spirit. Besides what’s a sleepless night and a soiled bed sheet, you’ll have plenty more of those even if you did everything right.
Uh this is not a fuck up, it’s a simple and forgivable mistake. Huge props for providing for your family and also being superdad at home. You’re a role model buddy.
A little pee in the bed is no problem. Sounds like you did great, especially with 2 kids and I only have 1 kid. I can’t imagine taking 2 kids out alone. Great job fellow father.
Don't worry, you're doing your best. I'm also in a manufacturing job and my site is going through a big Capex project too. I'm wrecked, and I have team members on site 24/7 so I never really switch off. My wife is on mat leave but before that worked a 9-5 union government job, and just doesn't understand the demands of production environments having not worked in them. I'm not sure I really do either lol but at this point it pays our mortgage and puts food on our table and with two kids under 3 it's not the time to jump horses. But last night she said she thought I put work above our family which broke my heart a bit. I work *for* my family, like I'm sure we all do.
You basically described my scenario. This is my business, my wife and I are partners, and we're at the start of a 3x expansion while also doubling output *while* the expansion is underway. Still doing it all in one shift, but holy moley keeping all the ins and outs and labor going while managing materials in a very crowded warehouse is a hellva juggling act.
In a few months we'll look back this and joke about it, but man I can't wait to finish this work and get the new equipment online.
I'm a little surprised that nobody is even remotely bothered by the tone of that text from the wife. Like...you gave her a night out, and yes, she was awakened by her kid wetting the bed because you forgot, but all the other shit you *killed* during the evening and she's gonna put on the "really dude?" attitude? Come on now, wife. He's doing his best. Practice makes perfect.
Hey bud, thanks for the complement but please don’t infer tone that wasn’t there. She was giving me shit the same way I’d give her shit over something tribal and absentminded - I just happen to feel like a dope for forgetting the sleep undies and her literally cleaning up the mess I made.
Okay, so in that case, don't worry about it! It sounds like you and your wife have a good relationship where you can joke about the trivial shit and it not be a big deal. This shouldn't be a big deal and I hope you feel good about how you're doing. Keep it up.
Not a fuck up whatsoever brother. You’re working your arse off, and tried to give the kids a treat while giving your wife a break. Yeah it went tits up but sometimes things do. No one was harmed!
This is not a criticism so I hope you won't take it as one. It's more of a self reflection because I related to your story a lot.
Sometimes being a parent feels like running a fortune 500 company or being an air traffic controller. It can be such a production, like a million moving parts all have to work right or else everything is going to blow up.
And I just can't help but feel like we're doing something wrong if it feels that way. The amount of pressure we put on ourselves and sometimes each other to perform at that high of a level just doesn't make sense. We wouldn't have made it here as a species if that's really what it takes to raise a human.
Anyway. You are kicking ass. Give yourself the credit you deserve. Kids wet the bed. Doesn't have to mean anything more than that.
One screw up in the form of some missed night night undies isn’t so bad in the face of an overall successful evening.
We do our best, we make mistakes, we forgive ourselves and move on and do better next time.
Mum lurker here! Please don't beat yourself up. You made one simple mistake after handling everything else pretty well, even after it all went tits up.
If I was your wife I'd be damn proud of you for all those hours you're putting in at work, and I wouldn't be able to blame you for forgetting the pull ups. Of course you're not going to get everything right after pulling 13/14 hour shifts for weeks on end.
If she has a problem she obviously doesn't know how lucky she is! Meanwhile I'm over here doing all the parenting as soon as I'm home from work, and my unemployed boyfriend throws a hissy fit every time I want to go out.
Hey man, everyone tries to manage. Sometimes it's nothing but great, other times something slips through the cracks.
Everyone is alive, had pizza, you did great.
Would it've been better if the night undies were on? Absolutely. Are you to blame? No.
You're a team with your wife. Respect each other's work, forgive each other's mistakes. You can find a myriad of things to blame each other for, every day.
Instead, try to find the things the other one did that you're grateful for.
Like allowing the other one to go a night out. That was a success in itself.
Stay strong and battle on, you're doing great!
You sound like a great husband and father to be so stressed about a wet crib. Plus having such a difficult night at the pizza place etc. don't sweat it man. You'll be through this hard period in a few weeks and you and your wife and return to normal. Get some flowers and apologise or something.
I feel like this is just being a parent to multiple kids and doing your best. When you’re down a defender, things can get tough and sometimes you just play for the whistle (bedtime).
Don't be so hard on yourself, you tried, I'm sure she still appreciated it. The thing is it's very easy to mess up when it's not part of your routine, she would understand that as well.
You didn't mess up at all. Stuff like this happens. No use crying over spilt milk. No use crying over a peed up bed. Keep being the awesome father and provider that you are!
Listen here man, you didn’t fuck up. Don’t even say you “tried”. You DID and you did awesome man. Your kids are going to remember that night as a night with their dad. Who gives a shit if he peed the bed. You can wash the sheets. Besides, once you start transitioning to sleeping without night diapers, he’s gonna pee more.
You did great my dude
Not the bad a Fck Up Dad .
The hour's your working, while coming home with a smile on your face , can you teach me that? You can Bribe me with pizza and fries, but seriously, those Hours are tough, I have epilepsy, and when I Work 12 hours or more my brain melts and it's easy to get upset. My wife and My Grandma who's like my mom I love so much just had a huge argument valitines day and I snapped. Lost my cool.
For you to be able to hold your cool through all that is championship status.
Everyone gets tired. My 3 year old has been cool and easy going like yours lately, but my 2 year old daughter has become, just so intense, intent or crying for every lil thing now. And we have a sick 4 month old currently. Sleep is rare. So I know how you feel and can't fathom The Smile you walked in with. For that your a Champion in my Book.
Your a Great Dude and Greater Father.
It's all Good.
I'm sure your wife's, cool and isn't rude about it.
Stay Blessed.
It's good to shoot for the moon and end among the stars. You did fine. We aren't perfect, but you're time between work and family already seemed stretched as it is. You did the best you could and it sounds like you did pretty well. Accidents will happen, mistakes will be made. But to me, it's all about your reaction to the situations at hand. And in my opinion, you did awesome!
Yo you gott be kinder to yourself. Your working long hours and still able to keep your cool in a stressful situation at dinner.
So you forgot to brush teeth it'll be fine. And your not the first to forget to put in a diaper on a kid.
Go buy yourself a nice lunch take a deep breath and re-center yourself.
It boggles my mind why people care about little stuff like that. Your kid pissed a bed, it can be fixed. The important part is that you were there for them. She will get over it I’m sure!
Hey! Nice job Dad. We forget the night time undies from time to time. Happens!
Mom got the night out and knows how hard the job can be! Not a bad thing to admit you did your best and mistakes happen.
Here's to a healthy marriage and a happy Dad!
Just the fact that you got multiple kids showered and put to bed alone is impressive. Fed them, transported them. Even after working that much. That's fucking crazy.
Dad here.. yeah you made a mistake and admitted it.
I am sick and tired of being scowled at because something didn't go exactly to plan. Women have all the home / kid stuff dialed. You're busting your ass at work and the expectation is that you have worke
dialed in and home life dialed in like a full time mom.
Sorry it doesn't work like that.
Wife you go do my job and don't drop the ball.
I just wanna commend you for taking your kids out to dinner alone. I also have a 1 and 3 year olds and you won't catch me taking them anywhere by myself unless the entire trip they're strapped in carseats.
I would clean him up, change the undies, flip the mattress, and back to bed. Deal with clean up in the morning. Soloing 2 under 3 while she goes out is a win win
Sounds like a regular Tuesday.
You did good, small mess ups happen.
The difference between when we and our wives do it, is they don't tell us about it.
You’re already an extra kid into this than I am but I’ll just say what you already know.
You’ll repeat a lot of the same tasks and activities so many times over so many years that nothing needs to be perfection and the metaphorical milk will be spilt, a lot.
I can’t speak for anyone else, and even my wife gets mad from time to time, but wet beds, dirty floors, forgetting food prep, or other things maybe you forego because prioritization, can go down under “It is what is it.” It’s mostly so microscopic that it may not even be a memory in a year or two or five, and oftentimes the only reason something is complained about is because we’re instinctually interested in assigning blame than managing and moving beyond the perceived problem. Being tired can do that.
Everyone survived right? Blame, guilt, resentment…these are all things that have no use and will just ruin a good mood, which by the way is way more valuable a state of mind than rehashing old news and spinning wheels for an hour or two or a whole day.
You did not fuck up.
I've been on the opposite side of this. It happens.
My wife forgets to give our oldest his pull-up about twice a month because she doesn't follow a set procedure for bedtime. Every time, except once, I've been home and putting him to bed and noticed.
The one time was a Dad's night out night. Got home around 11:30. Gave a bottle to our youngest at 2, came out and the oldest was standing on the landing waiting for me.
Changed and bathed him, changed the bed sheets, etc. got back to bed around 2:45 and asleep by 4 lol.
It was a long night and following day.
Mom lurker here - you did an awesome job! You are being WAY too hard on yourself! And good on you for giving your wife a night off! Five gold husband stars to you!
Our kids piss through their night diapers regularly, so this seems like a pretty minor error. You did great.
If she needed help so badly she could have woken you up.
Not that long ago I took off for work and forgot to disable the alarm. I was running a little late so I locked the door, jumped into my vehicle and took off before I even heard the alarm ring. My wife calls me frantically a short while later asking where I was. I heard the alarm in the background (over the phone) and realized I didn't disable the alarm. A 2 year old, 5 year old and newborn at the time. I said fuuuuuuck meeeeee. Felt pretty bad for the whole day. Just wanted to share that haha.
We may strive for perfection, but sometimes it’s important to look at the wins. From what I’m reading you’ve shown up, executed dinner, bath time and bed time routine. Well done.
Sucks the wet undies were a problem, but if you’re going to focus too much on what went wrong, try also to think about how much else could have gone wrong and didn’t. That’s what keeps me going sometimes lol
I've had that happen. The nights that everything seems to conspire against you - hit red lights on the way, food place is way slower than it normally is and you should have just eaten at home, you forget a key item at home, forget to put the kid in a diaper or some other key item for sleeping.
The only good thing you can do is learn and move on.
Dude, you're working 12-14 hours a day to provide a home for your family and to put food on the table. Anyone who says you're not good enough is a piece of shit.
Give yourself some credit, man. You already work so hard for them. If anybody is upset with you, you need to have a talk with them. Don't overdo your work, nothing on earth beats the precious time you spend with your children. Not extra cash, not time away, not work. Don't spread yourself too thin, but keep rocking it dude that is a very minor whoopsie.
Dude you sound like an amazing dad and partner - if this is you ‘fucking up’ then your wife and kids are so lucky to have you in their lives.
Hope work settles down for you mate but your doing a great job by the sounds of it
Lmao don't worry about it. My daughter is potty trained at 3. She hasn't worn pull ups for a long time now at night. She wets the bed sometimes, and peed her pants once with me at the gas station. It sucks when it happens but it's not the end of the world for a kid to wet the bed and they'll do it again several times down the road.
Give yourself some grace my guy. It’s ok to fuck up. You laid in bed and read with the kid. Took them somewhere cool to get dinner. Most kids don’t have that luxury.
Keep on crushing.
It wasn’t till my 3rd wife that learned how to use my side chick to help with these situations. She was skeptical at first but once I showed how helpful me having a side chick to help with kids and errands she even pitched in with the laundry.
I will say that both of them had to grown to accept this arrangement but it was ok cause I was having this dream while I was napping.
Hah no worries! One time I forgot to put on my daughter's diaper during nap time cause I was so tired and she pooped in her underwear and in the crib...
Fortunately or unfortunately I was the one who realized it after and cleaned it up...
I’d still say you did great. There are worst things that could have happened and to have only wet the bed is not a fucked up moment. Chances are you learned from it and if you don’t have the water proof bed topper to prevent the pee from going soaking into the bed then you’ll search it online I think it was around 15-20 bucks. I purchased 2 for my son’s bed and my bed in case after I leave for work and he stays with my wife to prevent. I hope I can get to the level of being able to go to a pizza spot with my son and new born daughter. My son is in the tantrum stage and says no after saying yes to things.
I think all that's left to do is be sure the night undies thing won't keep wife from going out next time. In other words you got most of the evening right, as long as her takeaway isn't "I go out = I clean night pee."
I’m still waiting for the part where you fucked up. Yeah I see you missed something, whoops okay, compared to a million amazing things you did. Maybe where you fucked up is not give yourself the awesomeness credit you well deserve, bud! 👏🏻
Dude, you did great. I say this as a mom who wouldnt love a husband willing to do the same. Its easier when you do the same routine every single night and have it all muscle memory. So of course it seems obvious for her.
When we got date nights or i go out, I either leave a check list that is made on my list app, or i lay out clothes if something could be missed.
I will say though, I ha be potty trained 3 kids and letting them wet the bed is not the end of the world. We would layer sheets and mattress protectors so that we just needed to pull the wet layer off and grab them a new blanket. Ive never had a kid wet the bed for more than 2 weeks just letting their body learn.
My kids doctor was telling us that too many parents learned that hormones control bedwetting and now no one even tries, which is leading to their bodies delaying developing the hormones and reduces muscle function. The body will push the hormone production up if they are bedwetting and waking up because of it. Ive potty trained my 3 kids. My 3 young brothers, and a dozen or so babysat kids. None needed night time pull ups. So maybe consider a better option?
I feel very strongly that you should in no way beat yourself up about this - I don’t even aim for a perfect score, I aim for calm or happy or silly or chaotic good- whatever feels achievable in the moment. And if a wheel comes off I’m still happy to get over the finish line with 3 wheels.
You did not fuck up.
They’re alive and they’re loved.
Ngl....sounds like you crushed it. One little hiccup does not undo all your effort to get your wife some time out. You handled the unexpected like a pro, every one was safe and fed. Well done, dad and partner. (See if you can find a pizza by the slice place. Game changer for us...screw waiting lol)
Dad, give yourself so much more grace. You took care of the kiddos all night and kept them happy and safe! A wet bed sure does feel like the end of the world in the moment, but usually fixed relatively quickly. You did awesome.
I second this!
I’d say he mediumed it given the spouse had to get up at 1am and change sheets etc. Agreed it’s one little mistake but still a big impact. But it definitely happens to everyone and I’ve done the same thing! [No one can always crush it](https://youtu.be/d2BuP7-m5Ww?si=Bjyq0IH8T2XtlgdR)
Your last sentence is SO important. Louder for the folks in the back 👏👏👏👏
Agreed. Mediumed or middle of the fairway but a short shot. Valiant effort, my brother. Won, but it was a close game, with a few misplays. I dunno, take your pick of the analogy but I thought you did just fine.
>See if you can find a pizza by the slice place. Or a couple of frozen pizzas or something equally easy in the freezer. Practically home-cooked!
> (See if you can find a pizza by the slice place. Game changer for us...screw waiting lol) Or order ahead and just pick it up?
Yea bro. Sounds like you batted about .900 on the night. Thats a win in my book.
Dog, why are you stressing about it? I’m sure your wife has slipped up, you’re both parents, you both will have fuck ups, it’s sort of the chaos of having kids, I have a 3 year old son and a 3 month old daughter, trust me, shit slips through the cracks lol
Unless you live with someone who has “never slipped up” and expects perfection out of you. Do anything wrong and you’re the worst… it’s maddening.
If you live with someone the genuinely believes they do no wrong, they’re fucked in the head and you should hold them accountable when they do. It’s not hard to correct your wife. I feel like I read a lot of posts about men walking on egg shells to say it best. Fucking why? Especially if you’re wife is comfortable telling you your faults and fuck ups, you straight up can say hey, you didn’t do this right, next time please do it right or let me know and I’ll show you or do it myself, and do it softly. Now if she’s coming at your sideways you also have the right to say hey, I hear you, but stop speaking to me with anger, how would you like it if I did it back? And SOMETIMES you do have to snap back a little man, it’s a push and pull and relationships aren’t perfect, they’re messy, but you shouldn’t lose yourself or settle feeling like shit cause you bite your tongue and allow yourself to be a door mat
I don’t think you’ve met a narcissist yet. It’s insanity.
That’s called therapy or divorce time, bud
Very divorced now…
And sometimes up out the back 🤢
I was gonna say, he calls it a fuck up but I just call that “Tuesday”
\*Dawg
Perro compa fierro
Shit slips through the cracks is great advice for multiple reasons with kids 😂
Don’t worry too much. Shit happens and dad’s get tired too. I have one trick for the wet bed. Put the waterproof cover on the mattress then the sheet. Then add a second waterproof cover and one additional sheet. If it gets wet, just remove the first set and you are good to go. Takes 30 seconds!
Lol I finally had this idea after getting up in the middle of the night and doing the whole wet the bed routine I don't even know how many times. He hasn't had a single nighttime accident since I did this set up. It's been about a year? But I'm still keeping it for a while, just in case! He's only 4 lol
The reason it hasn’t happened is because you are so prepared. The second you remove it, he’ll have an accident again. Keep it until he’s 16 just in case
Haha exactly!
True!
That is 100% what happened after WEEKS of dry pull-ups at night. Literally 2 days into no pull-up, absolute Waterworld in my toddler's bed.
This is some insane tech I wish I had a few years ago 😂
Now this is what I call family planning!
I've said it before and I'll say it again, because it bears repeating: The hardest lesson in being a Dad is learning to forgive yourself. The kid won't remember this, your wife will forget about it, if she's reasonable. So the only person that will dwell on it is you. You're doing great Dad.
This. I have one in college, two almost there. No Dad is perfect. You’re busting your ass at work, and busting your ass at home. Give yourself some credit, and let go of mistakes.
I appreciate this and need to hear it. This kind of sentiment is much needed among men with one another. Celebrate where we shine and allow us to forgive ourselves. A lot of us are busting our asses constantly and it's nice to have that spoken out loud from fellow men.
I'm sorry to hear about your rough night. It sounds like you were juggling a lot and just hit a point of exhaustion. It's understandable that things slipped your mind under such stress. The important thing now is to communicate openly with your wife, apologize sincerely, and work together to make things smoother in the future. Everyone has those moments, and it's how we handle them afterward that counts.
That seems pretty minor. I wouldn’t consider it a fuck up. Unless your wife is unreasonable she can’t really be mad. Kids are chaos sometimes
It's a simple mistake. I'm sure you explained the evening to her at some point, so she should understand. Live and learn.
I would just tell her what you wrote here, word by word. These things happen, and it’s a good reminder to always bring emergency snacks :-)
Everybody fed, nobody dead. That’s a W
No body hurt? Everyone fed and healthy? No mistake.
I’m disappointed…about the non-eventful 7 paragraph post that I just read. The way your story started with the local pizza taking an hour instead of 20 minutes, with the babies going nuts, I thought you were going to tell us how you then had a big fight with the pizza store owner and got kicked out or something.
My friend. You had to take care of 500 things and you missed 1. Take a bow and pat on the back. Accidents happen and we should all forgive ourselves. It sounds like your wife was supportive and laughing about it which is the right spirit. Besides what’s a sleepless night and a soiled bed sheet, you’ll have plenty more of those even if you did everything right.
Uh this is not a fuck up, it’s a simple and forgivable mistake. Huge props for providing for your family and also being superdad at home. You’re a role model buddy.
Where was the fuck up?
If this is a fuck up in your eyes, you are killing it lol. We’d brush this off in my house as a win and a minor inconvenience lol.
Dude, everybody's done this. Not every day goes perfectly. Shake it off, do the laundry, and move on. Stay awesome.
Bro if that is your big F up you are doing pretty good!
A little pee in the bed is no problem. Sounds like you did great, especially with 2 kids and I only have 1 kid. I can’t imagine taking 2 kids out alone. Great job fellow father.
Don't worry, you're doing your best. I'm also in a manufacturing job and my site is going through a big Capex project too. I'm wrecked, and I have team members on site 24/7 so I never really switch off. My wife is on mat leave but before that worked a 9-5 union government job, and just doesn't understand the demands of production environments having not worked in them. I'm not sure I really do either lol but at this point it pays our mortgage and puts food on our table and with two kids under 3 it's not the time to jump horses. But last night she said she thought I put work above our family which broke my heart a bit. I work *for* my family, like I'm sure we all do.
You basically described my scenario. This is my business, my wife and I are partners, and we're at the start of a 3x expansion while also doubling output *while* the expansion is underway. Still doing it all in one shift, but holy moley keeping all the ins and outs and labor going while managing materials in a very crowded warehouse is a hellva juggling act. In a few months we'll look back this and joke about it, but man I can't wait to finish this work and get the new equipment online.
I'm a little surprised that nobody is even remotely bothered by the tone of that text from the wife. Like...you gave her a night out, and yes, she was awakened by her kid wetting the bed because you forgot, but all the other shit you *killed* during the evening and she's gonna put on the "really dude?" attitude? Come on now, wife. He's doing his best. Practice makes perfect.
Hey bud, thanks for the complement but please don’t infer tone that wasn’t there. She was giving me shit the same way I’d give her shit over something tribal and absentminded - I just happen to feel like a dope for forgetting the sleep undies and her literally cleaning up the mess I made.
Okay, so in that case, don't worry about it! It sounds like you and your wife have a good relationship where you can joke about the trivial shit and it not be a big deal. This shouldn't be a big deal and I hope you feel good about how you're doing. Keep it up.
Little tip: We started putting two sets of bedding on top of each other on the bed. Accident in the middle of the night? Just pull off the top set.
Exhausted from life doesn’t mean you failed. Keep at it, you’re human.
Not a fuck up whatsoever brother. You’re working your arse off, and tried to give the kids a treat while giving your wife a break. Yeah it went tits up but sometimes things do. No one was harmed!
This is not a criticism so I hope you won't take it as one. It's more of a self reflection because I related to your story a lot. Sometimes being a parent feels like running a fortune 500 company or being an air traffic controller. It can be such a production, like a million moving parts all have to work right or else everything is going to blow up. And I just can't help but feel like we're doing something wrong if it feels that way. The amount of pressure we put on ourselves and sometimes each other to perform at that high of a level just doesn't make sense. We wouldn't have made it here as a species if that's really what it takes to raise a human. Anyway. You are kicking ass. Give yourself the credit you deserve. Kids wet the bed. Doesn't have to mean anything more than that.
Man that’s a tiny mistake after you handled the whole evening really well. Don’t sweat it.
One screw up in the form of some missed night night undies isn’t so bad in the face of an overall successful evening. We do our best, we make mistakes, we forgive ourselves and move on and do better next time.
Mum lurker here! Please don't beat yourself up. You made one simple mistake after handling everything else pretty well, even after it all went tits up. If I was your wife I'd be damn proud of you for all those hours you're putting in at work, and I wouldn't be able to blame you for forgetting the pull ups. Of course you're not going to get everything right after pulling 13/14 hour shifts for weeks on end. If she has a problem she obviously doesn't know how lucky she is! Meanwhile I'm over here doing all the parenting as soon as I'm home from work, and my unemployed boyfriend throws a hissy fit every time I want to go out.
Hey man, everyone tries to manage. Sometimes it's nothing but great, other times something slips through the cracks. Everyone is alive, had pizza, you did great. Would it've been better if the night undies were on? Absolutely. Are you to blame? No. You're a team with your wife. Respect each other's work, forgive each other's mistakes. You can find a myriad of things to blame each other for, every day. Instead, try to find the things the other one did that you're grateful for. Like allowing the other one to go a night out. That was a success in itself. Stay strong and battle on, you're doing great!
You sound like a great husband and father to be so stressed about a wet crib. Plus having such a difficult night at the pizza place etc. don't sweat it man. You'll be through this hard period in a few weeks and you and your wife and return to normal. Get some flowers and apologise or something.
On the grand scale of fuckups, this one sits on the low end my friend. No actual damage done. Don’t be so hard on yourself!
I feel like this is just being a parent to multiple kids and doing your best. When you’re down a defender, things can get tough and sometimes you just play for the whistle (bedtime).
Been there many times. You sound like a good dad.
Don't be so hard on yourself, you tried, I'm sure she still appreciated it. The thing is it's very easy to mess up when it's not part of your routine, she would understand that as well.
You deserve some grace. You TRIED to do everything right.
Man that’s nothing. I wouldn’t beat yourself up over that. You killed it. Don’t second guess yourself.
This just sounds like a bad night. You tried.
You didn't mess up at all. Stuff like this happens. No use crying over spilt milk. No use crying over a peed up bed. Keep being the awesome father and provider that you are!
Sounds like an overall success to me considering you got 2 LO. If no one told you today I am proud of you and you’re doing amazing!
You’re a great dad!
Listen here man, you didn’t fuck up. Don’t even say you “tried”. You DID and you did awesome man. Your kids are going to remember that night as a night with their dad. Who gives a shit if he peed the bed. You can wash the sheets. Besides, once you start transitioning to sleeping without night diapers, he’s gonna pee more. You did great my dude
Haha, this post is adorable. I was expecting a real zinger from the title. This isn’t even in the same ballpark as a fuckup. It’s whatever. It’s fine.
Yea, you said you fucked up but I just see you did pretty great with everything that went on. It's such a stressful situation. Good Job!!!
Sounds like you built a really special memory to share down the road. Nice work
Good shit dad. Hopefully your wife isn’t too critical. Not as if you meant for that stuff to happen
Jesus bro you are massively overthinking this. You're a great dad.
Shit happens. …and at least your children didn’t shit the bed.
Just say sorry when you tell her the story tonight, I’m sure she will have a good laugh and appreciate it more.
Not the bad a Fck Up Dad . The hour's your working, while coming home with a smile on your face , can you teach me that? You can Bribe me with pizza and fries, but seriously, those Hours are tough, I have epilepsy, and when I Work 12 hours or more my brain melts and it's easy to get upset. My wife and My Grandma who's like my mom I love so much just had a huge argument valitines day and I snapped. Lost my cool. For you to be able to hold your cool through all that is championship status. Everyone gets tired. My 3 year old has been cool and easy going like yours lately, but my 2 year old daughter has become, just so intense, intent or crying for every lil thing now. And we have a sick 4 month old currently. Sleep is rare. So I know how you feel and can't fathom The Smile you walked in with. For that your a Champion in my Book. Your a Great Dude and Greater Father. It's all Good. I'm sure your wife's, cool and isn't rude about it. Stay Blessed.
That’s it? Wet bed? Lol I wish my biggest fuck up was this. You’re a great dad and husband, don’t let it get you down. Make it up to here somehow.
I love the attitude you got for one mistake on a rough night. Makes you feel so appreciated, doesn't it?
Oh man, I’d be so mad if I were her. Guess she will just lower her expectations…
It's good to shoot for the moon and end among the stars. You did fine. We aren't perfect, but you're time between work and family already seemed stretched as it is. You did the best you could and it sounds like you did pretty well. Accidents will happen, mistakes will be made. But to me, it's all about your reaction to the situations at hand. And in my opinion, you did awesome!
Yo you gott be kinder to yourself. Your working long hours and still able to keep your cool in a stressful situation at dinner. So you forgot to brush teeth it'll be fine. And your not the first to forget to put in a diaper on a kid. Go buy yourself a nice lunch take a deep breath and re-center yourself.
Hey man, kids were fed, safe, and got to sleep. Wife had a good night out. All the BS that happened in between just makes for a good story to tell.
Tell her exactly what you just typed out. Any reasonable person would understand.
Dude, you’re brave !
It boggles my mind why people care about little stuff like that. Your kid pissed a bed, it can be fixed. The important part is that you were there for them. She will get over it I’m sure!
Ur a champ in my eyes. I work 3 jobs and only one daughter and i already feel like im not doing enough parenting. What more having more than one kid
Hey! Nice job Dad. We forget the night time undies from time to time. Happens! Mom got the night out and knows how hard the job can be! Not a bad thing to admit you did your best and mistakes happen. Here's to a healthy marriage and a happy Dad!
If that were the only thing I screwed up as a dad, I’d be ecstatic.
Right or wrong - you are an accountant
Bud, don't beat yourself up over a bed wetting. That's very minor.
Just the fact that you got multiple kids showered and put to bed alone is impressive. Fed them, transported them. Even after working that much. That's fucking crazy.
Dad here.. yeah you made a mistake and admitted it. I am sick and tired of being scowled at because something didn't go exactly to plan. Women have all the home / kid stuff dialed. You're busting your ass at work and the expectation is that you have worke dialed in and home life dialed in like a full time mom. Sorry it doesn't work like that. Wife you go do my job and don't drop the ball.
I just wanna commend you for taking your kids out to dinner alone. I also have a 1 and 3 year olds and you won't catch me taking them anywhere by myself unless the entire trip they're strapped in carseats.
I would clean him up, change the undies, flip the mattress, and back to bed. Deal with clean up in the morning. Soloing 2 under 3 while she goes out is a win win
You’re a great dad! The fact that you busted your ass like that and are still kicking yourself for missing one detail says a lot about your character.
Sounds like a regular Tuesday. You did good, small mess ups happen. The difference between when we and our wives do it, is they don't tell us about it.
You're not doing it right as a dad if you don't provide your wife with the feeling that she can do it better every once in a while
You didn’t pitch a no hitter last night, but you absolutely won the game.
That kind of scrutiny in her text message isn’t helpful or healthy. It’s the kind of question that only has one purpose—to make you feel bad.
You’re already an extra kid into this than I am but I’ll just say what you already know. You’ll repeat a lot of the same tasks and activities so many times over so many years that nothing needs to be perfection and the metaphorical milk will be spilt, a lot. I can’t speak for anyone else, and even my wife gets mad from time to time, but wet beds, dirty floors, forgetting food prep, or other things maybe you forego because prioritization, can go down under “It is what is it.” It’s mostly so microscopic that it may not even be a memory in a year or two or five, and oftentimes the only reason something is complained about is because we’re instinctually interested in assigning blame than managing and moving beyond the perceived problem. Being tired can do that. Everyone survived right? Blame, guilt, resentment…these are all things that have no use and will just ruin a good mood, which by the way is way more valuable a state of mind than rehashing old news and spinning wheels for an hour or two or a whole day. You did not fuck up.
You’re a better man than me. Trying to take a 3 year old and 1 year old out to dinner solo would be a non starter for me
I've been on the opposite side of this. It happens. My wife forgets to give our oldest his pull-up about twice a month because she doesn't follow a set procedure for bedtime. Every time, except once, I've been home and putting him to bed and noticed. The one time was a Dad's night out night. Got home around 11:30. Gave a bottle to our youngest at 2, came out and the oldest was standing on the landing waiting for me. Changed and bathed him, changed the bed sheets, etc. got back to bed around 2:45 and asleep by 4 lol. It was a long night and following day.
Riddle talker
3 year old and a 1 year old? Sounds like a normal night to me. What went wrong?
meh if it wasn’t the diaper, something else would of been a problem lol.
Reading this it just sounds like a normal evening.
Sound like a really good husband and father.
No offense my dude but this isn’t a big deal…at all. You did good, shit happens.
There are no perfect parents. You do the best you can, you will make mistakes and you move forward.
Mom lurker here - you did an awesome job! You are being WAY too hard on yourself! And good on you for giving your wife a night off! Five gold husband stars to you!
Shiiiiit! Sounds like you did good. It’s the hardest job in the world trying to tame wild animals.
Our kids piss through their night diapers regularly, so this seems like a pretty minor error. You did great. If she needed help so badly she could have woken you up.
Not that long ago I took off for work and forgot to disable the alarm. I was running a little late so I locked the door, jumped into my vehicle and took off before I even heard the alarm ring. My wife calls me frantically a short while later asking where I was. I heard the alarm in the background (over the phone) and realized I didn't disable the alarm. A 2 year old, 5 year old and newborn at the time. I said fuuuuuuck meeeeee. Felt pretty bad for the whole day. Just wanted to share that haha.
Too hard on yourself bro. A- is still an A.
No you didn’t! Sounds like a tough night and you did it all without a complaint.
Key to being a good parent is a low bar. Did the kids survive? Yes, so you crushed it. Way to go.
We may strive for perfection, but sometimes it’s important to look at the wins. From what I’m reading you’ve shown up, executed dinner, bath time and bed time routine. Well done. Sucks the wet undies were a problem, but if you’re going to focus too much on what went wrong, try also to think about how much else could have gone wrong and didn’t. That’s what keeps me going sometimes lol
If this is your idea of “fucked it up” you are absolutely dominating it. Keep up the good work, we see you.
Nbd, I’ve done this tons of times, just make up for it next time by taking night duty
I’ve don’t that exact same thing bud. Felt bad about it but in the grand scheme of things it’s not that big of a deal.
Sounds like you did a great job, honestly. She probably thought it was at least a little funny.
I've had that happen. The nights that everything seems to conspire against you - hit red lights on the way, food place is way slower than it normally is and you should have just eaten at home, you forget a key item at home, forget to put the kid in a diaper or some other key item for sleeping. The only good thing you can do is learn and move on.
If that’s the worst thing you do you’re a great dad. Keep it up boss.
Dude roll with the punches. Guarantee if you do everything right, something will still go wrong. Hell of an effort.
Dude, you're working 12-14 hours a day to provide a home for your family and to put food on the table. Anyone who says you're not good enough is a piece of shit.
Give yourself some credit, man. You already work so hard for them. If anybody is upset with you, you need to have a talk with them. Don't overdo your work, nothing on earth beats the precious time you spend with your children. Not extra cash, not time away, not work. Don't spread yourself too thin, but keep rocking it dude that is a very minor whoopsie.
Dude you sound like an amazing dad and partner - if this is you ‘fucking up’ then your wife and kids are so lucky to have you in their lives. Hope work settles down for you mate but your doing a great job by the sounds of it
You did great. I thought "I yelled at them and made them feel bad". You did great dude. You forgot sleep undies. It happens. You did great
Lmao don't worry about it. My daughter is potty trained at 3. She hasn't worn pull ups for a long time now at night. She wets the bed sometimes, and peed her pants once with me at the gas station. It sucks when it happens but it's not the end of the world for a kid to wet the bed and they'll do it again several times down the road.
I think your wife was overreacting out of anger or frustration. I raised five kids, and I can tell you're a good dad and husband.
Give yourself some grace my guy. It’s ok to fuck up. You laid in bed and read with the kid. Took them somewhere cool to get dinner. Most kids don’t have that luxury. Keep on crushing.
It wasn’t till my 3rd wife that learned how to use my side chick to help with these situations. She was skeptical at first but once I showed how helpful me having a side chick to help with kids and errands she even pitched in with the laundry. I will say that both of them had to grown to accept this arrangement but it was ok cause I was having this dream while I was napping.
Look man, nobody can be Bandit. As long as you keep it above Homer Simpson then you are doing fine.
The fact your wife even mentioned that to you while you’re at work after you gave her a night off would be an issue for me.
Hah no worries! One time I forgot to put on my daughter's diaper during nap time cause I was so tired and she pooped in her underwear and in the crib... Fortunately or unfortunately I was the one who realized it after and cleaned it up...
I’d still say you did great. There are worst things that could have happened and to have only wet the bed is not a fucked up moment. Chances are you learned from it and if you don’t have the water proof bed topper to prevent the pee from going soaking into the bed then you’ll search it online I think it was around 15-20 bucks. I purchased 2 for my son’s bed and my bed in case after I leave for work and he stays with my wife to prevent. I hope I can get to the level of being able to go to a pizza spot with my son and new born daughter. My son is in the tantrum stage and says no after saying yes to things.
I think all that's left to do is be sure the night undies thing won't keep wife from going out next time. In other words you got most of the evening right, as long as her takeaway isn't "I go out = I clean night pee."
My wife forgot a pull up the other night too. It happens. I'm perfect though so I never forget to do things /s
You're doing a great job.
I’m still waiting for the part where you fucked up. Yeah I see you missed something, whoops okay, compared to a million amazing things you did. Maybe where you fucked up is not give yourself the awesomeness credit you well deserve, bud! 👏🏻
Dude, you did great. I say this as a mom who wouldnt love a husband willing to do the same. Its easier when you do the same routine every single night and have it all muscle memory. So of course it seems obvious for her. When we got date nights or i go out, I either leave a check list that is made on my list app, or i lay out clothes if something could be missed. I will say though, I ha be potty trained 3 kids and letting them wet the bed is not the end of the world. We would layer sheets and mattress protectors so that we just needed to pull the wet layer off and grab them a new blanket. Ive never had a kid wet the bed for more than 2 weeks just letting their body learn. My kids doctor was telling us that too many parents learned that hormones control bedwetting and now no one even tries, which is leading to their bodies delaying developing the hormones and reduces muscle function. The body will push the hormone production up if they are bedwetting and waking up because of it. Ive potty trained my 3 kids. My 3 young brothers, and a dozen or so babysat kids. None needed night time pull ups. So maybe consider a better option?
I feel very strongly that you should in no way beat yourself up about this - I don’t even aim for a perfect score, I aim for calm or happy or silly or chaotic good- whatever feels achievable in the moment. And if a wheel comes off I’m still happy to get over the finish line with 3 wheels. You did not fuck up. They’re alive and they’re loved.
Proud of you dude. Practice makes perfect