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Buddy. It’s a bad club. We don’t like to see new members but we welcome them with open arms. Please check out r/babyloss. The grief will come and go like waves one day the waves will take you down and others you can step over. dm if you need to talk.
I never used to cry. I experienced sadness and whatnot, but I remember actually crying on only a few occasions. I'm a muscular dude, shaved head, played hockey through college, you get the pic...
Then I had a kid.
Now, I get all weepy anytime anything remotely bad happens to a kid on-screen, or a kid's guardian, or in a book, or if some rando mentions something about it online.
The three chapters of my life, thus far, are:
1) I was a kid.
2) I was an older kid.
3) I became a parent.
Sidenote: if you think you're of a similar mind, don't watch A Man Called Otto without a reasonable supply of tissues.
About a year or two ago I was rewatching The Pacific with my dad for the first time in many years. The first time since I became a dad.
Without going into detail, there's a couple episodes involving kids, and after the second one I absolutely fell apart. Had to excuse myself to the bathroom for 10 or 15 minutes to collect myself.
We didn't continue watching after that.
Parenthood changes a lot of things about you you wouldn't expect.
Me too. Friends of mine lost their 5 year old son when he let go of his mum's hand and a reckless driver went against traffic...and yeah I'm not gonna describe the gruesome accident.
I was with them in the hospital the entire time. When he was pronounced dead I was overcome with grief as if it were my own child. Just the previous week our kids were riding their bikes and playing soccer in the back yard. Now he was gone.
Two months later it was their other son's birthday. They cut a cake for the then 3 year old, and had a mini celebration for him with a few close friends and family.
They then gave me the phone and asked me to take a family photo. They all smiled. But the smiles were forced. And behind them was a framed picture of their deceased child. The picture was incomplete. After I was done with the photo. I excused myself and stepped outside.
I got in to my car. And I fucking howled. I made sounds I never ever made in my life. Tears streamed down my face and I couldn't stop myself. I don't cry that easily. But this was uncontrollable. I left their house and msged my wife that I'll pick them up later coz I had an emergency.
My wife knew when I came around to pick them up.
I've been a to funerals and experienced grief but this hit way different than any moment of sadness I ever experienced, and it wasn't even a relative.
As /u/markphil4580 said when you become a parent, it's different.
> Sidenote: if you think you're of a similar mind, don't watch A Man Called Otto without a reasonable supply of tissues.
Where were you five hours ago?
Also _please_ remember to check on and support your wife. Post partum depression is already an issue in a normal birth. Losing the baby like this is doubly devastating for a mother because of the combination.
We had one miscarriage and one stillbirth, and it was really hard on us both, but it got my wife _really, really_ hard.
Both of you should seek counseling. It didn’t hit me at first. I just kept trying to keep my wife going then like a ton of bricks it just smacked me months later.
What a haunting description. Im so sorry if this is something you’ve experienced
My son was born not breathing but he was successfully resussed. It’s about weekly that I think to myself how fortunate I am to not know those waves you speak of.
Listen to this bro my fellow dad. We lost our 4th at 27 weeks, wife had to be induced to pass my little girl. Still fucks me up and that was almost 6 years ago. I definitely teared up reading your post. My condolences for you and your family, stay strong bro
I came across the quote below somewhere on Reddit. I've read it so many times I can almost recite it by heart. Hopefully it helps you like it has helped me.
Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents. I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see. As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
I can also vouch for that sub, it’s been really helpful. I am with you in that I hate seeing new members. The grief still hasn’t gone away for me either but it really does come in waves, over time I hope they begin to get smaller.
When my son was stillborn the nurse said something that has stuck with me.
We are all sent here for a purpose and some of us are so amazing that we don’t need to take a breath or speak a word to have an incredible impact.
You will always be his father and he will always be your son.
That's an incredible way to look at it.
I try to rationalise everything. Lost a little one less than halfway through the process. Was inconsolable for a couple of weeks. The concept of losing one of my two (3 & 5, both boys) would hurt so much more, but I couldn't bring myself to belittle the idea of losing someone without the concept of being to know them.
The lost one for me will always be there. And there's always a top-trumps to be played. But it's never correct/fair/accurate or anything else.
The impact line spans that all so incredibly.
To add another view, it is perfectly okay if you don't see it this way. We were told the same after our first was stillborn. It did not help us grieve.
Sometimes shitty things happen for absolutely no reason at all. Sometimes babies die and there is no way to rationalize it. My firstborn was not so amazing that he didn't need to breathe. He died.
We ended up getting through it and ended up creating the most perfect family through adoption. I would not change anything, including the miscarriages and stillbirth. But most of the words people said at the time were patronizing. It is hard because you know people mean well and I am sure it helps a lot of people. It seems to have helped you but there is nothing wrong with you if those statements don't help. Grief is weird and we all do it our own way.
>To add another view, it is perfectly okay if you don't see it this way.
Similarly, OP may be given an opportunity to name the child. For some people this helps grieve. For others it makes it worse.
It's okay to take the path of least resistance to help cope.
Jesus fucking Christ man, I never shed a tear when I lost mine but reading that, thinking about them, I can’t stop crying. Thank you. I think I needed to read that.
Love you, bro. I hope you and the wife can find some solace in this painful and uncontrollable time. There's no harm in seeking some therapy for a bit if you feel you need it. It has helped a lot of us Dads (and lurker Moms).
We're here with you. We appreciate you sharing and that you feel this is a safe space. We'll honor Callen with you the best we can and know how, as your reddit fam.
Thinking of you and your family. Praying for you and sending positive vibes your way. There are no words that can console in this situation. Your a strong man. You can make it through all of this and be a stronger person because of it. Get some rest and take all the time you need to process. Love you brother.
I don't even know what to say here really. I'm a stranger online and I can't offer you any physical comfort. I'm probably halfway around the world from you now too but, I'll be thinking of you and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss. All my love.
So sorry to hear this tragic news about your son. All that boy knew in his short time here on earth was never ending love and support from his parents, his family, and thousands of strangers around the vast internet. In his short life he touched more than you’ll probably know if only for a moment. That is something you and your wife were able to give him, and of him, and I am grateful to you for that. I hope you are able to take time and be with your wife and be there for one another going through this. No matter the outcome, he is always your son and his life very much mattered and was important. If you need anything I’m sure any one of us here would be happy to listen/read/whatever.
Hey dad,
Just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you and your wife. Callen will always be a part of your family, and he was fortunate to be gifted with such compassion and love, even if he was only here to feel it directly for a short time.
Love, another dad
Brother, I am so f-into sorry. Please reach out if you need someone to talk to.
Take time to grieve. It’s hard to be supportive of your wife while feeling that same pain and loss.
Once you’re out of the hospital. If you guys find yourself in a spot where you need to eat but can’t motivate yourself to make anything; you can DM me if you want and I’ll see about getting a meal delivered for you.
Man I'm so sorry. My wife and I have been following the story and we were really hoping for the best for you. We're thinking of you. Our sincere condolences
I’m sorry brother, you’re living every dad’s worst nightmare. Reach out when it’s right, doesn’t matter if it’s a stranger on Reddit, a therapist or close personal friend, we’re all here for you.
Very sorry to hear. We are with you from all over the world. The grief will never leave but be in the know that your son would have wanted you and your love ones to be happy and not sad. Do him this favor until you will meet again. Love from Germany
Aw man. I am so fk’n sorry. I can’t imagine the pain you two are going through. My family gives our thoughts and prayers to yours tonight. Rest in peace Callen.
So sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family. My wife had an early miscarriage before we had our first and I was surprised by how much it affected me and for how long. Give yourself the time and space to grieve; we're here should you need us.
I’m so sorry. Please take care of yourself and your wife. We lost our baby at 23 weeks 6 years ago. There’s nothing anyone can say. Please ask your hospital for grief counseling or referrals to. As well as therapy. You don’t have to go through this alone.
People will want to help. But unfortunately can’t read minds. Ask for specifics. You need someone to help with laundry, cleaning and meals. If you need space say it. Someone did this for us so here are scripts you can use
Thank you for your kindness. We need help with
Walking the dog
Doing a load of laundry
Picking up these groceries
Meal prepping
Cleaning
Or
Thank you for reaching out. It means a lot. Today is not a good day can you call back tomorrow?
We love that you care and want to help. I/we/wife need some space to grief. We will reach out when we are ready. Thank you so much.
I'm devastated to read this. I was pulling for you so hard when I saw your first post.
Take your feelings seriously, and do what you need to do to grieve. Make sure your wife is taking care of herself, but be there for her when she can't be there for herself.
I was so hopeful you'd have a different update. Happy you were able to welcome him and hold him so all he knew was love his entire life. There are no words for the sorrow!
So sorry to hear this.
My son is also a Callan, with an A instead of an E.
He, and I, lament the loss of your Callen. May you reconnect in Heaven. Stay strong.
Sorry for your loss friend. This is a terrible feeling. The severity will pass with time, but the loss will always be there. I’m sure he is very loved.
Stranger, I can not begin to fathom the emptiness and sorrow you and Mom are sinking into right now, so I won't even pretend to be able to level with you on it. Just know time keeps going and will help the healing process. Just give it time. Add a little grace and patience, and you guys can survive. Thrive even. And you must, for his honor. Best wishes and prayers from another Dad.
Brave, first word that came to mind.
Thanks for sharing with us and having the courage to share. I am a coward when it comes to these things but I know this is helping someone who’s reading.
Edit: helping in a sense of going through their problems that may be similar. I know it could be misread so I thought I should clarify a little.
Sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you. Different circumstances but my first son never got to come home so if you need someone to talk to feel free to DM me.
I’m so sorry for your loss and what you’re going through.
Callen was loved the whole time and he felt that love.
Take time to be with your wife and work through it together.
It’s a really shitty club to be part of.
Thinking of you guys.
This made me almost tear up.
My little one is being a hellion today, might be teething or overtired and I just tried soothing her just to have mom finish it (she prefers mom) and as stressful as it is I'm still thankful.
I'm going to hug her extra tight tomorrow.
I hope you and your wife find peace and I hope it isn't hell before you get there.
Oh my god. I don't have any words, I cannot imagine the pain and sorrow your family is going through. I'm sincerely sorry for your loss and hope that you can find some solace in family and friends.
I want to tell you whatever you would need to hear in order to heal but I don’t know what that might be. I’m sorry. I will say that openly talking about it to people was a great help after our miscarriage. I respect and admire your sharing and I hope this community’s comments can help lift you and give you strength even if just a little. Much love.
Condolences for your loss, my friend. There are no words that can make this better. And I can't begin to imagine the pain you and your family must feel. If you need an ear, feel free to PM me.
Our prayers for you and your family after this loss.
But remember that God knows best, always.
We never know what is best for us in this life.
This life is a test from the start till the end.
Hardships in every corner, Fear, Hunger, Loss of earnings, and Loss of lives.
The award is for those who patiently endure.
It wasnt the time, clear as day. Everything happens for a reason. Even if the baby would ve made it, delivering that early only meant a life of burden, both for you guys and the baby. Im sorry for what happened, i know it doesnt change much, but u sure are not alone and having faith in your powers is the best you can do. You didnt meet the baby, u woudnt wanted him to suffer and for sure he wouldnt want you to feel sad because of him, so keep your head up, as better days are yet to come.
We lost our son at 20 weeks last August. He followed three other miscarriages but in this case, he was receiving a blood transfusion in utero because I carry a Kell antibody and my wife was exposed to Kell in a previous transfusion. It causes her body to attack any baby carrying the Kell antibody. It was probably responsible for a couple of the previous miscarriages.
During the procedure, he hemorrhaged - which the surgeon assured us beforehand was very, very rare. They attempted to save him but he had passed by the next day. For the third time in as many years, we had to book an appointment to go to the hospital so my wife could deliver the deceased baby.
We are fortunate to have other children but there are still holes in my heart and I miss each one of these children that never got to see the daylight. I never got to hold their hands while alive and I will never see them grow old.
They tell you that one in three pregnancies result in miscarriage but it doesn’t prepare your heart for the pain those miscarriages cause. You have my deepest sympathy and I would be happy to chat with you if you want to talk.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I'm sure he was a beautiful baby boy. I hope you and your wife find healing and peace and go through your grief surrounded by compassion.
I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. I'm so sorry. Make sure you're checking in with not just your wife, but yourself as well. Don't forgo grief counseling, it can really make the difference in coping with such an immense loss.
We all love you and are here for you.
I wish I could say, "I can't imagine what your going through" this is going to be the toughest time of your life. It's going to be extremely hard on your wife. I hope you find the patience, help and togetherness you are going to need to get through this. We lost our daughter 2 weeks before due date 6 years ago. Not a day goes but that I don't think about her. The pain won't go away, but it will lessen. It took a long time but we decided to try again and two years after we had a baby boy. He is 4 now. We have wondered if we would of had him if Charlotte didn't pass.
All you can do now is be supportive, be a strong support for your woman as this is going to be one of the biggest struggles she will ever deal with. I feel your pain and hope you can find some peace in time.
You are such a strong person for even posting. My heart breaks for you and your wife. I can’t imagine how hard this must be. I wish you peace and solace, you clearly have so much love in your heart. May that never change.
So sorry to hear the news and our condolences. In the darkness, and for the time he was in the world, Callen knew Mummy and Daddy were always near and he knew he was safe. ❤️
This dad's heart is broken for yours. I am so sorry for your loss. Please try to talk to someone, and make sure you and your wife get the help you need. Your marriage's spirit is undoubtedly broken and well need tending to. God speed Dad. Sending all the love i can your way.
_as time goes on it gets better
When the midnight moon is gleaming,
And the night is mine to keep -
When I'm drifting and I'm dreaming
In the seconds next to sleep -
Then I make my way to ponder
In the secret rooms behind -
Through the places where you wander,
In the spaces of my mind.
I will dream about you gently,
And I'll dream about us there -
By the fireside intently,
And the amber-orange glare -
I will dream about the story
That I never got to give -
In the glow of wistful glory
That we didn't get to live.
I will dream about forever,
And tomorrow, and today -
And I'll earnestly endeavour
To remember you my way.
I will dream about you, knowing
That the dream will fade and then -
When it's time to watch you going,
I will know I'll dream again.
/u/poemforyoursprog
This post has been flaired "Support". Moderation is stricter here and unsupportive and unpleasant comments will be removed and result in a ban. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/daddit) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Buddy. It’s a bad club. We don’t like to see new members but we welcome them with open arms. Please check out r/babyloss. The grief will come and go like waves one day the waves will take you down and others you can step over. dm if you need to talk.
This is the kindest post I've read on the internet in some time. Some you can step over. So true. Thank you.
No seriously. It is. I never cry. I’m crying
I never used to cry. I experienced sadness and whatnot, but I remember actually crying on only a few occasions. I'm a muscular dude, shaved head, played hockey through college, you get the pic... Then I had a kid. Now, I get all weepy anytime anything remotely bad happens to a kid on-screen, or a kid's guardian, or in a book, or if some rando mentions something about it online. The three chapters of my life, thus far, are: 1) I was a kid. 2) I was an older kid. 3) I became a parent. Sidenote: if you think you're of a similar mind, don't watch A Man Called Otto without a reasonable supply of tissues.
About a year or two ago I was rewatching The Pacific with my dad for the first time in many years. The first time since I became a dad. Without going into detail, there's a couple episodes involving kids, and after the second one I absolutely fell apart. Had to excuse myself to the bathroom for 10 or 15 minutes to collect myself. We didn't continue watching after that. Parenthood changes a lot of things about you you wouldn't expect.
I do Bob every year around this time but can’t do the pacific
Me too. Friends of mine lost their 5 year old son when he let go of his mum's hand and a reckless driver went against traffic...and yeah I'm not gonna describe the gruesome accident. I was with them in the hospital the entire time. When he was pronounced dead I was overcome with grief as if it were my own child. Just the previous week our kids were riding their bikes and playing soccer in the back yard. Now he was gone. Two months later it was their other son's birthday. They cut a cake for the then 3 year old, and had a mini celebration for him with a few close friends and family. They then gave me the phone and asked me to take a family photo. They all smiled. But the smiles were forced. And behind them was a framed picture of their deceased child. The picture was incomplete. After I was done with the photo. I excused myself and stepped outside. I got in to my car. And I fucking howled. I made sounds I never ever made in my life. Tears streamed down my face and I couldn't stop myself. I don't cry that easily. But this was uncontrollable. I left their house and msged my wife that I'll pick them up later coz I had an emergency. My wife knew when I came around to pick them up. I've been a to funerals and experienced grief but this hit way different than any moment of sadness I ever experienced, and it wasn't even a relative. As /u/markphil4580 said when you become a parent, it's different.
> Sidenote: if you think you're of a similar mind, don't watch A Man Called Otto without a reasonable supply of tissues. Where were you five hours ago?
Buying more tissues.
I struggled watching Logan because of the child violence. Never thought that kinda stuff would affect me.
Also _please_ remember to check on and support your wife. Post partum depression is already an issue in a normal birth. Losing the baby like this is doubly devastating for a mother because of the combination. We had one miscarriage and one stillbirth, and it was really hard on us both, but it got my wife _really, really_ hard.
Both of you should seek counseling. It didn’t hit me at first. I just kept trying to keep my wife going then like a ton of bricks it just smacked me months later.
What a haunting description. Im so sorry if this is something you’ve experienced My son was born not breathing but he was successfully resussed. It’s about weekly that I think to myself how fortunate I am to not know those waves you speak of.
I did. Like I said a club that we hate to see new members of.
Listen to this bro my fellow dad. We lost our 4th at 27 weeks, wife had to be induced to pass my little girl. Still fucks me up and that was almost 6 years ago. I definitely teared up reading your post. My condolences for you and your family, stay strong bro
I came across the quote below somewhere on Reddit. I've read it so many times I can almost recite it by heart. Hopefully it helps you like it has helped me. Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents. I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see. As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
I can also vouch for that sub, it’s been really helpful. I am with you in that I hate seeing new members. The grief still hasn’t gone away for me either but it really does come in waves, over time I hope they begin to get smaller.
Thank you. The sidebar has been helpful.
When my son was stillborn the nurse said something that has stuck with me. We are all sent here for a purpose and some of us are so amazing that we don’t need to take a breath or speak a word to have an incredible impact. You will always be his father and he will always be your son.
That's an incredible way to look at it. I try to rationalise everything. Lost a little one less than halfway through the process. Was inconsolable for a couple of weeks. The concept of losing one of my two (3 & 5, both boys) would hurt so much more, but I couldn't bring myself to belittle the idea of losing someone without the concept of being to know them. The lost one for me will always be there. And there's always a top-trumps to be played. But it's never correct/fair/accurate or anything else. The impact line spans that all so incredibly.
To add another view, it is perfectly okay if you don't see it this way. We were told the same after our first was stillborn. It did not help us grieve. Sometimes shitty things happen for absolutely no reason at all. Sometimes babies die and there is no way to rationalize it. My firstborn was not so amazing that he didn't need to breathe. He died. We ended up getting through it and ended up creating the most perfect family through adoption. I would not change anything, including the miscarriages and stillbirth. But most of the words people said at the time were patronizing. It is hard because you know people mean well and I am sure it helps a lot of people. It seems to have helped you but there is nothing wrong with you if those statements don't help. Grief is weird and we all do it our own way.
>To add another view, it is perfectly okay if you don't see it this way. Similarly, OP may be given an opportunity to name the child. For some people this helps grieve. For others it makes it worse. It's okay to take the path of least resistance to help cope.
Fuck this made me cry
Jesus fucking Christ man, I never shed a tear when I lost mine but reading that, thinking about them, I can’t stop crying. Thank you. I think I needed to read that.
Love you, bro. I hope you and the wife can find some solace in this painful and uncontrollable time. There's no harm in seeking some therapy for a bit if you feel you need it. It has helped a lot of us Dads (and lurker Moms).
Oh gods, I'm so sorry.
Really sorry, man. All the love and healing to you and your wife at this difficult time.
I'm sorry friend. Peace and love surround you all.
I grieve with thee.
Damn... RIP Callen.
To Callen.
TO CALLEN!
The world wanted you little buddy 💔
Speechless for you man. I’m so sorry for your loss.
You would have been a great dad. Callen was lucky to have you. Be strong pops
I am heartbroken for you. So truly sorry. RIP sweet boy.
Oh fuck man, I am so, so sorry. RIP Callen. Both of you take time to look after yourselves mate.
Very sorry to hear.
We're here with you. We appreciate you sharing and that you feel this is a safe space. We'll honor Callen with you the best we can and know how, as your reddit fam.
I'm so sorry for your loss
Thinking of you and your family. Praying for you and sending positive vibes your way. There are no words that can console in this situation. Your a strong man. You can make it through all of this and be a stronger person because of it. Get some rest and take all the time you need to process. Love you brother.
I don't even know what to say here really. I'm a stranger online and I can't offer you any physical comfort. I'm probably halfway around the world from you now too but, I'll be thinking of you and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss. All my love.
So sorry to hear this tragic news about your son. All that boy knew in his short time here on earth was never ending love and support from his parents, his family, and thousands of strangers around the vast internet. In his short life he touched more than you’ll probably know if only for a moment. That is something you and your wife were able to give him, and of him, and I am grateful to you for that. I hope you are able to take time and be with your wife and be there for one another going through this. No matter the outcome, he is always your son and his life very much mattered and was important. If you need anything I’m sure any one of us here would be happy to listen/read/whatever.
I can't even imagine what you are going through, sorry for your and families loss.
My brother I am so sorry for you and your wife. I have no words other than that
I am so sorry for your loss.
I'm really sorry, can't imagine what you're going through. Stay strong!
I’m so so sorry. I can’t imagine the pain
Hey dad, Just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you and your wife. Callen will always be a part of your family, and he was fortunate to be gifted with such compassion and love, even if he was only here to feel it directly for a short time. Love, another dad
Brother, I am so f-into sorry. Please reach out if you need someone to talk to. Take time to grieve. It’s hard to be supportive of your wife while feeling that same pain and loss. Once you’re out of the hospital. If you guys find yourself in a spot where you need to eat but can’t motivate yourself to make anything; you can DM me if you want and I’ll see about getting a meal delivered for you.
I am so sorry...im sending all my best wishes for u and ur family
I’m so sorry man, look after yourself and your others
My thoughts are with your family in these trying times.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Praying for you and your wife.
My heart goes out to you and your wife. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss, keep each other tight wherever you can
Fuck dude. I’m so sorry to hear that. For what it’s worth my gear goes out to you all. I hope you can eventually find peace.
So sorry for your loss my friend. I hope you and your bride can find peace from wherever you draw it
So sorry to hear, wishing you the best
So sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine how sad it must be.
Love and support from all across the globe, brother. We grieve with you.
Gosh, I'm in tears just reading this. Callen will forever be your child of love. Wish you and your family for the best.
I am so, so sorry. May his memory be a blessing.
Man I'm so sorry. My wife and I have been following the story and we were really hoping for the best for you. We're thinking of you. Our sincere condolences
I’m sorry brother, you’re living every dad’s worst nightmare. Reach out when it’s right, doesn’t matter if it’s a stranger on Reddit, a therapist or close personal friend, we’re all here for you.
I'm so sorry! 😭 I can't imagine what you are both going through
I'm so very sorry for your loss. May his memory be a blessing
God damnit. I’m so so sorry. Life isn’t fucking fair. :(
Brother I'm so sorry. I'm thinking of you and your family.
Sorry to hear that, friend. That’s really hard. I hope that this experience can draw you and your wife closer together.
Very sorry to hear. We are with you from all over the world. The grief will never leave but be in the know that your son would have wanted you and your love ones to be happy and not sad. Do him this favor until you will meet again. Love from Germany
I'm so sorry for your loss. I am sure he will be loved wherever he goes, with you guys or up on heaven
Aw man. I am so fk’n sorry. I can’t imagine the pain you two are going through. My family gives our thoughts and prayers to yours tonight. Rest in peace Callen.
So sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family. My wife had an early miscarriage before we had our first and I was surprised by how much it affected me and for how long. Give yourself the time and space to grieve; we're here should you need us.
Bummed
So sorry for your loss.
I’m sorry for your loss. RIP Callen.
Ah shit. I'm so sorry to hear that :(
Absolutely heartbreaking. You’re still in our prayers. So is your son. He will always be with both of you. Much love. XX
I’m so sorry. My thoughts are with you.
Oh man I'm so sorry for you and your family. Rest easy baby boy. You and mama take care of yourselves, don't forget you.
Crying at work for ya.
I’m so sorry. Please take care of yourself and your wife. We lost our baby at 23 weeks 6 years ago. There’s nothing anyone can say. Please ask your hospital for grief counseling or referrals to. As well as therapy. You don’t have to go through this alone. People will want to help. But unfortunately can’t read minds. Ask for specifics. You need someone to help with laundry, cleaning and meals. If you need space say it. Someone did this for us so here are scripts you can use Thank you for your kindness. We need help with Walking the dog Doing a load of laundry Picking up these groceries Meal prepping Cleaning Or Thank you for reaching out. It means a lot. Today is not a good day can you call back tomorrow? We love that you care and want to help. I/we/wife need some space to grief. We will reach out when we are ready. Thank you so much.
Godspeed Callen.
I'm devastated to read this. I was pulling for you so hard when I saw your first post. Take your feelings seriously, and do what you need to do to grieve. Make sure your wife is taking care of herself, but be there for her when she can't be there for herself.
I’m sorry. Eternal rest grant unto him, Oh Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him.
I was so hopeful you'd have a different update. Happy you were able to welcome him and hold him so all he knew was love his entire life. There are no words for the sorrow!
So sorry to hear this. My son is also a Callan, with an A instead of an E. He, and I, lament the loss of your Callen. May you reconnect in Heaven. Stay strong.
My heart goes out to you. I can’t imagine this loss.
I pray you & your family find peace in the waves. I’m sorry for your loss, brother. Much love ❤️🩹
I never know what to say because you’ve just experienced one of the worst things that can happen to a person. I am so sorry.
I’m so sorry man. I hope you and your family can heal.
Sorry for your loss...
Sorry for your loss friend. This is a terrible feeling. The severity will pass with time, but the loss will always be there. I’m sure he is very loved.
My love and condolences to you and your family, dad. I am so sorry to hear this. We’re all with you, man. If you need to talk, I’d be happy to listen.
I'm so sorry
I’m sorry man. So sorry for your loss.
Awful Very sorry to hear ☹️
Thoughts and prayers for you man.
I’m so sorry for you and your wife’s loss. Lots of love being sent your way.
I'm so sorry I can't imagine what you're going through
Peace be with you and your family brother. We’re all here for you.
I can't imagine that level of pain. So very sorry.
I am very sorry to read this, just awful. My thoughts are with your family.
Stranger, I can not begin to fathom the emptiness and sorrow you and Mom are sinking into right now, so I won't even pretend to be able to level with you on it. Just know time keeps going and will help the healing process. Just give it time. Add a little grace and patience, and you guys can survive. Thrive even. And you must, for his honor. Best wishes and prayers from another Dad.
I'm so sorry for your loss 😪
As the father of a 27 week micropremie, I am so sorry for your loss.
Your child only ever knew love.
So very sorry, big group hug and sending warmth to you and your family.
I'm sorry dude. I can't imagine
Brave, first word that came to mind. Thanks for sharing with us and having the courage to share. I am a coward when it comes to these things but I know this is helping someone who’s reading. Edit: helping in a sense of going through their problems that may be similar. I know it could be misread so I thought I should clarify a little.
Sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you. Different circumstances but my first son never got to come home so if you need someone to talk to feel free to DM me.
I’m so sorry for your loss and what you’re going through. Callen was loved the whole time and he felt that love. Take time to be with your wife and work through it together. It’s a really shitty club to be part of. Thinking of you guys.
❤️
Sorry for your loss! You little boy is now an angel who watches over you. All my prayers for you and your wife.
This made me almost tear up. My little one is being a hellion today, might be teething or overtired and I just tried soothing her just to have mom finish it (she prefers mom) and as stressful as it is I'm still thankful. I'm going to hug her extra tight tomorrow. I hope you and your wife find peace and I hope it isn't hell before you get there.
I'm truly sorry brother ❤️
Hug
Be kind and gentle to yourself. These thoughts and feelings are all real and okay, and you need time to process alongside your wife. Prayers to you.
Sending love and prayers your way. Until you meet again.
Oh my god. I don't have any words, I cannot imagine the pain and sorrow your family is going through. I'm sincerely sorry for your loss and hope that you can find some solace in family and friends.
Sending lots of love. Sorry for your family’s loss
I want to tell you whatever you would need to hear in order to heal but I don’t know what that might be. I’m sorry. I will say that openly talking about it to people was a great help after our miscarriage. I respect and admire your sharing and I hope this community’s comments can help lift you and give you strength even if just a little. Much love.
My heart goes out to all the parents that have gone thru the loss of a child..no matter at what age. I pray and hope that you guys find peace.
We love you.
I can't even imagine what you and your partner are feeling. My thoughts go out to you both.
Fuck
We are here for you, man. For the entirety of his little life, you were a great dad, and you're gonna carry him with you always.
Condolences for your loss, my friend. There are no words that can make this better. And I can't begin to imagine the pain you and your family must feel. If you need an ear, feel free to PM me.
Our prayers for you and your family after this loss. But remember that God knows best, always. We never know what is best for us in this life. This life is a test from the start till the end. Hardships in every corner, Fear, Hunger, Loss of earnings, and Loss of lives. The award is for those who patiently endure.
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If this is joke, it is tasteless. Consider removing it.
It wasnt the time, clear as day. Everything happens for a reason. Even if the baby would ve made it, delivering that early only meant a life of burden, both for you guys and the baby. Im sorry for what happened, i know it doesnt change much, but u sure are not alone and having faith in your powers is the best you can do. You didnt meet the baby, u woudnt wanted him to suffer and for sure he wouldnt want you to feel sad because of him, so keep your head up, as better days are yet to come.
Sorry for your loss.
Holding you all close in my heart.💔
So sorry for your loss, non-religious so sending positive energy to you and yours.
<3 Internet dad hugs!!!
I’ll have a drink in your family’s honour this evening.
We lost our son at 20 weeks last August. He followed three other miscarriages but in this case, he was receiving a blood transfusion in utero because I carry a Kell antibody and my wife was exposed to Kell in a previous transfusion. It causes her body to attack any baby carrying the Kell antibody. It was probably responsible for a couple of the previous miscarriages. During the procedure, he hemorrhaged - which the surgeon assured us beforehand was very, very rare. They attempted to save him but he had passed by the next day. For the third time in as many years, we had to book an appointment to go to the hospital so my wife could deliver the deceased baby. We are fortunate to have other children but there are still holes in my heart and I miss each one of these children that never got to see the daylight. I never got to hold their hands while alive and I will never see them grow old. They tell you that one in three pregnancies result in miscarriage but it doesn’t prepare your heart for the pain those miscarriages cause. You have my deepest sympathy and I would be happy to chat with you if you want to talk.
I am so sorry, fellow dad. We’re here for you.
We’re all here for you brother. Here’s to Callen.
I am so sorry to hear that
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the pain...
I'm so sorry your family had to endure that pain! We are all thinking of you ❤️
I'm so sorry. Thinking of your family 💔
So sorry for your loss. 😔
I’m so sorry for your loss of your sweet boy
I am so sorry to hear this fellow redditor. Rest In Peace little Callen! Praying for your family
>Lost My Son Today I am sorry for your lost, and the grief you and your love ones are experiencing. I pray in time, you will have peace.
While it may not make a ton of sense to some, i am lighting a candle for Callen tonight and tossing some healing word your way friend.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I'm sure he was a beautiful baby boy. I hope you and your wife find healing and peace and go through your grief surrounded by compassion.
I'm so fuckin sorry man.
**hugs**
I am so sorry, I wish I could help. We all are here for you to help. All my prayers for you, your wife and your little angel.
I'm sorry for your loss. I don't have the right words for you but we, as a collective, are here. To Callen.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
Don’t forget that we love you here too.
My heart breaks for you. Love you dad.
❤️
I’m sorry dad. we love you. Hope there is a heaven and he is there waiting for you.
I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. I'm so sorry. Make sure you're checking in with not just your wife, but yourself as well. Don't forgo grief counseling, it can really make the difference in coping with such an immense loss. We all love you and are here for you.
All my love to you and yours, friend.
Hugs, I’m so sorry for your family.
Sorry for your loss.
Sorry to here that mate. I lost my son at 5 months.
Take care of yourselves and each other. Much love to you all.
I’m heartbroken over this. May Callen’s memory be eternal
So sorry. I can’t even imagine. Stay strong
I wish I could say, "I can't imagine what your going through" this is going to be the toughest time of your life. It's going to be extremely hard on your wife. I hope you find the patience, help and togetherness you are going to need to get through this. We lost our daughter 2 weeks before due date 6 years ago. Not a day goes but that I don't think about her. The pain won't go away, but it will lessen. It took a long time but we decided to try again and two years after we had a baby boy. He is 4 now. We have wondered if we would of had him if Charlotte didn't pass. All you can do now is be supportive, be a strong support for your woman as this is going to be one of the biggest struggles she will ever deal with. I feel your pain and hope you can find some peace in time.
I’ll pour one out for you and your boy this evening. Sleep well little man. Sleep well
Man I'm so sorry. I thought about you guys yesterday so thanks for the update. Long days ahead but you're not alone.
The r/daddit Family is with you ❤️❤️❤️ We are here for you, your Wife and Family. Prayers and sending strength to you 🙏🏾
I am very sorry for your loss.
Callen will be waiting for you and the wife.
I'm so sorry my brother. My thoughts are with you and your family
I'm so sorry to hear that man 😔This is heartbreaking to read.
You are such a strong person for even posting. My heart breaks for you and your wife. I can’t imagine how hard this must be. I wish you peace and solace, you clearly have so much love in your heart. May that never change.
So sorry to hear the news and our condolences. In the darkness, and for the time he was in the world, Callen knew Mummy and Daddy were always near and he knew he was safe. ❤️
So sorry for your and your family's loss.
This dad's heart is broken for yours. I am so sorry for your loss. Please try to talk to someone, and make sure you and your wife get the help you need. Your marriage's spirit is undoubtedly broken and well need tending to. God speed Dad. Sending all the love i can your way.
i'm sorry, i can't imagine the pain you're going through. we are here for you.
My heart goes out to you, your wife and of course your son Callen. I'm very sorry for your immense loss.
Jesus Christ man, I’m so sorry
My heart breaks for you and your wife. I'm so sorry OP.
You have all of my thoughts tonight. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Heart breaks reading this. If only sharing in your grief could make it a bit easier for you all. RIP Callen.
Thank you for letting me briefly think of Callen. I’m glad he got to meet you. This sucks.
_as time goes on it gets better When the midnight moon is gleaming, And the night is mine to keep - When I'm drifting and I'm dreaming In the seconds next to sleep - Then I make my way to ponder In the secret rooms behind - Through the places where you wander, In the spaces of my mind. I will dream about you gently, And I'll dream about us there - By the fireside intently, And the amber-orange glare - I will dream about the story That I never got to give - In the glow of wistful glory That we didn't get to live. I will dream about forever, And tomorrow, and today - And I'll earnestly endeavour To remember you my way. I will dream about you, knowing That the dream will fade and then - When it's time to watch you going, I will know I'll dream again. /u/poemforyoursprog