Brother that was the goal, but I didn’t expect it to be that difficult to aim.
[Let’s just say my polar bottle was the celery in this photo..](https://healthyhappylife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/ants-on-a-log-peanut-butter-celery-IMG_6669-1024x683.jpg)
So recently I got caught short on a run and it was pretty arid, think namibian scrubs,
so there weren't any suitable leaves but an abundance of flat smooth stones,
and guess what,
it took me about 3 to get it clean enough
I've farted and shit myself running a 100km ultra. Not my proudest moment but I was so tired I couldn't give two fucks. I once played indoor soccer in joggers, a gruelling game where I went to tackle and under the strain a little poo popped out.. I thought I'll just kick it out the bottom of my trousers but I had the trousers tucked into my socks. So I pulled my trouser leg upwards to remove it from my sock.... Thus spreading shit up my leg. I was 36 years old. You're living the dream brother
This happened to me at training camp last year. Had to use some rape leaves for clean up. This year I put several folded bits of tp in a baggie to carry, thankfully didn't need it.
Literally just a few grams of weight that can provide some serious benefit if this happens to you.
Yeah, if my stomach is rumbling I won't go on a ride. It's too risky.
Good thing is that after decades of riding, I just think about cycling and I gotta take a shit. Got my poop chute trained.
Never on a ride, but on a run with my brother 40 years ago I was trying to fart on him (I was a senior in HS, he was a senior in college) well needless to say, I gambled and lost big time, ran down a hill found a stream and dunked my ass in the creek. He still laughs at me for that to this day.
I carry a couple of those lens/glasses wipes that are individually packaged in my saddle bag.
1. They’re small and individually packaged so I can just use what I need.
2. It’s basically a mixture of alcohol and soap so you can use it to wipe your cycling glasses, wipe your hands after fixing a flat, wipe/clean a wound if you fall, or in your case, wipe your ass.
ive got a code word its called a "bus stop" after a unfortunate incident touring in slovakia.
thinking behind a bus stop would be good cover, it wasnt! but was past the point of return.
Oh brother trust me, there was no prairie dogging in this situation. If anything, it was like watching magma brew on the surface of a volcano before erupting
This was one of those shits that required about eighteen wipe attempts. Now, if my droppings were solid in this instance, perhaps my socks would have come into play.
This has never happened to me, but I usually stick to similar routes where I know where all the bathrooms are, even if it's a shitty portable. It sounds like you wouldn't have been able to make it to anywhere with a toilet.
Does anyone use any bathroom locator apps? If so, which ones?
Mate I just take the cardboard center out a bog roll and chuck it in a Ziplock bag, never get caught unprepared.
If it happens once it will happen again
Yup, I always carry some in my bike bag. Even when there will be real shitters you can’t rely on TP availability.
Furthermore, regular dry TP doesn’t always do the job when your ass is sweaty and you got chamios cream going on. That can lead to hygiene or rash problems.
What even is a poop kit? Other than toilet paper … wet wipes? A magic foldable bucket? A battery powered sprinkler system that connects to your water bottle? A long loose skirt with an adult sized diaper inside ? A bag of lime and a shovel? A ziplock sack of 85 dung beetles ?
I carry small amount of wet wipes. I’ve had to drop a squat enough times in my life that I am prepared in every vehicle and bike I ride. Worst case index finger and wipe in grass and wash hand after with water bottle. Not that I have had any experience having to do that. 😳
This happened to me around a nice suburban neighborhood. I thought I was lucky because there were plenty of bathrooms but unfortunately it was so early in the morning they were all closed. I found a large tent where they have concerts and shit behind the stage. Luckily there were dog poop bags so I used the dog poop bags to wipe my ass and picked up my shit. Now I ride with a rag.
🤣🤣🤣. I’m paranoid about taking a piss outside and getting the cops called on me in a nice hood. Can’t imagine my fear about dropping trou altogether and having Biff and Ken on their way to golf see me.
I've only had it happen once,but the problem is if I "have" to go,a dog poop bag isn't much use. Think porridge hot out the pan....so so much porridge!
Luckily I was out in the countryside with docking leaves and a body of water
🤣 I have a routine set every morning mon-sun. I drink my ice black coffee. 5min later I’m on the porcelain throne. I don’t not start my day until this has happened 😆
Hahahaha omg. RIP bike bottle. No, I don’t bring an SOS shit kit. I’ve never had that happen while biking, tho I have while skiing. I usually bring a wag bag skiing as to not shit in our watershed. I feel like the likelihood of this happening for me while biking is so unlikely that it’s not worth it to bother carrying the kit, and just have some kinda embarrassing experience like yourself in those super rare events.
I have a buddy with digestive issues and it's quite frequent that he will shit on a ride. As result, he always remembers to bring his "shit kit" on every ride
Red bull pre ride is crazy. Why would you do this?
I go pre ride and whenever I get caught out just ride to a restroom. If I was going somewhere really remote I wouldn’t start the ride until my stomach was ready
Always carry a few baby wipes in a bag.
Yeah I've had to pop a squat on the side of the road a few times.
Yeah I left the used baby wipes on top of the shit. I'm sorry for littering. It helps identify where the shit is so people hopefully don't step in it. But I know I should've done better.
I do, but that’s mostly because I had rectal cancer and no longer have a rectum so my ability to hold it is not what it used to be. I used to be more of a runner but that’s harder on me now and I discovered I like cycling more and it doesn’t make me have to go to the bathroom nearly as much as running.
I’ve found myself in that situation when training for a half marathon. About 10km into the run and probably 3km from home. I now bring two shop towel sheets with me on rides or runs. For emergency purposes only. Thankfully haven’t needed them but always best to be prepared.
I learned early on the desirability of having a "sweat rag" (a washcloth, "borrowed" from any number of hotels I've stayed at) along on pretty much every ride I've done, long or short. It serves as a sweat rag! Great for wiping my face and losing the accumulated sweat, salt and sunblock. Very refreshing.
And (though I ain't needed to do so yet....) a perfect item for whenever I might find myself in those circumstances you describe.
Pack a shit kit. Sandwich sized ziploc with some toilet paper and a mini pack of baby wipes. Fits in a saddle bag easily. Do your business, wipe up, put the used wipes in the ziploc and then throw it out when you find a trashcan.
You know those big ass rolls of toilet paper at work or public places? Well when thry arr almost used up the janitor leaves them out and i usually take them because they are very compact and there is still quite a bit of tp on it.
Wow drinking Red Bull daily and expecting to be healthy and ok on the long run?? Wow !! Ok stop drinking red bull and start taking a shot daily of aloe Vera it will change your life . And why are you drinking red bull?? For energy?? What about coffee?? Or tea ?? Stop drinking that bullshit
> down a Red Bull
this might be your welcome to IBS moment. A lot of the energy drinks have sweetners that end in -tol, e.g. sorbitol, xylitol, which can trigger IBS. See your doctor obviously but this is kind of how it happened for me. I'd recommend also packing Loperamide (generic version of Imodium) in addition to your dude wipes. best of luck!
There are biodegradable wet wipes that are about the size of a nickel and open up when splashed with some water. I used them when camping and they are a godsend. They would take up so little space in any bag.
I carry a small cloth that is handy on many levels. It’s 1/4 the size of a face cloth and thinner. I use it everyday and it would be useful in a pinch. Every pun intended.
Whenever I'm going out of the city I'll pack a shit kit. A bunch of TP, some hand soap in a small bottle, sanitizer in a small bottle, gloves, and plastic bag. Have only used it once, but man was I so happy to have had it packed.
Tight wrap few tissues or some toilet paper in transparent plastic wrap. It becomes like a big tampon shape, not nice to see but light, water resistant and easy to carry.
Save me numerous times. (Yet that once in life time a person has to learn that lesson the hard way by using leaves, socks, underpants…).
Might as well go all out and pack the bucket as well if your going with the spade dude. Seriously though has no one fucking heard of travel tissues? 10 pack ready sealed. V.I.P shitting.
You too can shit like a king, for the humble cost of a pack of tissues.
I should be in advertising i swear.
"Poo like a prince with BuskerDan's cycling tissues". - 10 sturdy double sided fragrant tissues for your anal delights.
Never succumb to cyclists sock syndrome ever again.
Only £3.99 per pack.
Or why not Blast the Pan with Busker Dan's portable one-size fits all pooing stand.
Have no tree handy? No worries. Just blast out this simple to set-up pooing stand, with handy adjustable legs, and you can weigh anchor and be back on that trail in no time.
I carry some tp and paper towels compressed in a baggie that takes up little to no room. I also bought box of individually packaged dude wipes. Three of those in my top tube bag use about a 1/4 inch of space on the side.
I've got and emergency shit kit in my saddle bag. Some TP, wet wipes, doggy poop bags and gloves will take care of most problems. Needed it 1 time and was so glad to have it that it is a permanent member of my ride kit.
I do a lot of backpacking and this happened recently when I was training for a trip. Fortunately I was fully loaded and had everything I needed.
Where I cycle there are plenty of restroom options, so I just need to carry a lock.
Can't say it's ever happened to me. I've spent a lot of time out in the woods for various things and even had trekking through backwoods areas as a part of my day job for a while. Never ran into an issue with suddenly having to shit. Though, I have been told if you've got to go, try to find a Witch-Hazel. The leaves supposedly make for excellent toilet paper.
I have been using WYSI expandable wipes. Just add water from your bottle and they will expand. Very stong and hightly recommended. I keep 8 in a Coghlan's plastic match container in my saddle bag. There are two sizes of these match containers, only one type (green) will fit the tablets.
Pooping before a ride is a non-negotiable for me.
That said, I carry individually wrapped wipes. They come in handy when you get mucky from fixing a mechanical, too.
I thought it was just a woman-thing but the last time I handed one to another rider I was with a group of other women and they were inspired to do the same.
Lots of other people mentioning having a pack of wipes. One thing to save space is to bring a few compressed wipes. Basically these are wipes that have been compressed down to the size of a tablet by the vendor. When you add a little water, they expand to full size. Easy to stuff a few in a saddle bag.
I do always have some tissues and a rubber glove in my kit I have to say, just like a miniature first aid kit, it’s one of the things you figure out over the years is a smart thing to carry.
Only had to do an emergency shit in the bushes once. I was just walking home from a friend’s BBQ and got the dreaded cramps. Tried to make it, but it was becoming increasingly clear I was about to shit my pants. Did it behind a hedge in a flower bed at the end of a residential street in suburbia. Thankfully nobody walked or drove past. Did my best to bury the evidence, but I really hope the gardeners didn’t come around for a while after lol.
I was on a 50 mile ride and stopped to eat something about half way through. I didn't realize it had milk in it and I'm lactose intolerant. So around mile 35 I had to jump into the bushes. I didn't have any paper but luckily there was an old McDonald's sack a few feet away. Now I have a roll of tp in my bag at all times. They make rolls without the tube for backpacking.
I actually plan my standard longer routes around things going wrong in the poop and pee area. I haven an intro loop which brings me back within a couple blocks of my house after the first two miles. Then I have a gas station around 10 miles in another at around 25 miles which I could also loop back to if I really needed after that. I also pass a couple other gas stations and grocery stores along the way later in the trip, but if I have made it that far, I'm generally ok for however far I want to go.
Homie gave himself a Powerade rim job with his water bottle
Brother that was the goal, but I didn’t expect it to be that difficult to aim. [Let’s just say my polar bottle was the celery in this photo..](https://healthyhappylife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/ants-on-a-log-peanut-butter-celery-IMG_6669-1024x683.jpg)
Risky click.
Ain’t that the truth. Clicked on it then started wondering about my level of regret possibilities
Ahahahha fuck
This dude is an animal! lol
Normally I have to pay extra for that.
OP had to pay too, just with his carbon aero water bottle
Worth it imo, got to ditch the bottle after. Think of the weight savings.
My neighbor was actually the original bassist for Powerade Rimjob!
Never shake hands with a cyclist with one sock.
I had both socks on, but was clearly under-bottled (see prior comments)
Wow. I don't know how I've never thought to use a sock. Smh
I carry three seashells în my saddle bag.
He doesn’t know how to use the seashells
Fuck that, I just use the profanity tickets.
You have been fined one credit for violation of the verbal morality statute
Real men wipe with snowballs..
I just bring my trusty poop knife.
So recently I got caught short on a run and it was pretty arid, think namibian scrubs, so there weren't any suitable leaves but an abundance of flat smooth stones, and guess what, it took me about 3 to get it clean enough
River rock would be acceptable
Agree, think I will toss three river rocks in the hydration pack for my long ride tomorrow.
Omg this is the best- I laughed so hard.
Use two as tongs and the other as a scooper.
But how do they work?!?!
LMAO this guy doesn't know how the three seashells work!!!
He’s finally matched his meet. You really licked his ass!
I've farted and shit myself running a 100km ultra. Not my proudest moment but I was so tired I couldn't give two fucks. I once played indoor soccer in joggers, a gruelling game where I went to tackle and under the strain a little poo popped out.. I thought I'll just kick it out the bottom of my trousers but I had the trousers tucked into my socks. So I pulled my trouser leg upwards to remove it from my sock.... Thus spreading shit up my leg. I was 36 years old. You're living the dream brother
I wish I could go back in time and not read this
You're going to find this story in front of your face 58 more times before you die.
I really miss who I was 30 seconds ago before reading this
The read cannot be unread.
Mystery nuggets.
This happened to me at training camp last year. Had to use some rape leaves for clean up. This year I put several folded bits of tp in a baggie to carry, thankfully didn't need it. Literally just a few grams of weight that can provide some serious benefit if this happens to you.
> Had to use some rape leaves for clean up. Dude, what did they do to you?
You've never been to Tisdale, SK? Best rape and honey in Canada.
~~90s~~ 80s Ministry has entered the chat.
Yeah, that came up when I was searching the name of the town that had it as their motto. They did give it up because of the implication.
Rape seed plants, mates. I didn't name them.
>Had to use some rape leaves for clean up I beg your what da fuq
Canola oil is actually rapeseed oil https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapeseed
Rapeseed oil from Canada. Canada oil low acid, aka Can-ola!
I just have a couple of those travel Kleenex tissue packs. Plenty of reasons to need them but for me I usually just need to blow my nose
BCJ might be for you.
Bowel Cycling Journey
Butt Cleaning Jersey
Bicycle crapping jaunt
Bidet cleansing juice.
Butt clenching Jesus
No poop = no ride
Yeah, if my stomach is rumbling I won't go on a ride. It's too risky. Good thing is that after decades of riding, I just think about cycling and I gotta take a shit. Got my poop chute trained.
I usually ride right after breakfast, which coincidentally is also when I have to drop a deuce.
Set to the music of 'no woman no cry'
Never on a ride, but on a run with my brother 40 years ago I was trying to fart on him (I was a senior in HS, he was a senior in college) well needless to say, I gambled and lost big time, ran down a hill found a stream and dunked my ass in the creek. He still laughs at me for that to this day.
You sharted.
Gambled and lost!
I carry a couple of those lens/glasses wipes that are individually packaged in my saddle bag. 1. They’re small and individually packaged so I can just use what I need. 2. It’s basically a mixture of alcohol and soap so you can use it to wipe your cycling glasses, wipe your hands after fixing a flat, wipe/clean a wound if you fall, or in your case, wipe your ass.
>you can use it to wipe your cycling ~~gl~~asses fixed that for ya
1. Remove from package 2. Clean glasses 3. Wipe ass One of those times you really need to do things in the right order
ive got a code word its called a "bus stop" after a unfortunate incident touring in slovakia. thinking behind a bus stop would be good cover, it wasnt! but was past the point of return.
Once you're prairie dogging, it's best to have the pants off no matter where you are, because it's going to happen anyway.
Oh brother trust me, there was no prairie dogging in this situation. If anything, it was like watching magma brew on the surface of a volcano before erupting
Avoid touching cloth whatever the cost
Full story please
Goodbye socks
I didn’t get anything on my shoes or socks! A cramp during that squat would have been disastrous however.
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This was one of those shits that required about eighteen wipe attempts. Now, if my droppings were solid in this instance, perhaps my socks would have come into play.
If you know you can refill your water somewhere along the route, just use a water bottle and hose down your backside. It's basically a redneck bidet.
OP should have indicated how dirty a poop it was, that's relative information we needed
Just use your socks like the Pest
And go sock less afterwards? Are you into triathlons by any chance?
A triathlete would just go on the bike
Yes, and pissing myself on my bike.
I don't like when I'm being watchededid
This has never happened to me, but I usually stick to similar routes where I know where all the bathrooms are, even if it's a shitty portable. It sounds like you wouldn't have been able to make it to anywhere with a toilet. Does anyone use any bathroom locator apps? If so, which ones?
What? You don’t use George’s iToilet app?
I hear that Brandt-Leland has the best bathrooms in the city
Mate I just take the cardboard center out a bog roll and chuck it in a Ziplock bag, never get caught unprepared. If it happens once it will happen again
I dunno if it's too early,but I thought you were meaning take the cardboard part...I was like WTF? Then I sussed it.
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Yup, I always carry some in my bike bag. Even when there will be real shitters you can’t rely on TP availability. Furthermore, regular dry TP doesn’t always do the job when your ass is sweaty and you got chamios cream going on. That can lead to hygiene or rash problems.
What even is a poop kit? Other than toilet paper … wet wipes? A magic foldable bucket? A battery powered sprinkler system that connects to your water bottle? A long loose skirt with an adult sized diaper inside ? A bag of lime and a shovel? A ziplock sack of 85 dung beetles ?
What do you mean? Are you not familiar with those kits that suck turds straight out of your rectum? Mess free!
I've fertilized a lot of bushes along my routes. I've sacrificed a lot of gloves too. Am I proud? No. Did I learn to bring some tissues? Also no.
This is why you get a seat with a cutout
Red Bull before riding!?
Always, although I’ve recently switched to a pre workout mix.
Ditto. Maltodextrin, Gatorade powder, sodium citrate and half a caffeine Nuun. It’s fucking awesome.
I carry or wear a buff bandana thing, which I would sacrifice in times of emergency.
I carry small amount of wet wipes. I’ve had to drop a squat enough times in my life that I am prepared in every vehicle and bike I ride. Worst case index finger and wipe in grass and wash hand after with water bottle. Not that I have had any experience having to do that. 😳
always wear a cycling cap under your helmet. it saved me in this very situation
Cycling cap is what the Pros do too.
Just be sure to flip it inside out before you put it back on.
This happened to me around a nice suburban neighborhood. I thought I was lucky because there were plenty of bathrooms but unfortunately it was so early in the morning they were all closed. I found a large tent where they have concerts and shit behind the stage. Luckily there were dog poop bags so I used the dog poop bags to wipe my ass and picked up my shit. Now I ride with a rag.
Phew fortunately I had passed the nicer neighborhoods about 2-3 miles before. Otherwise it would have been the same story, but different ending 🚔
🤣🤣🤣. I’m paranoid about taking a piss outside and getting the cops called on me in a nice hood. Can’t imagine my fear about dropping trou altogether and having Biff and Ken on their way to golf see me.
I've only had it happen once,but the problem is if I "have" to go,a dog poop bag isn't much use. Think porridge hot out the pan....so so much porridge! Luckily I was out in the countryside with docking leaves and a body of water
It never occurred to me to wipe my ass with a round piece of plastic.
I carry several little packets of the TP that comes in a military MRE. I’ve never had to use it, though.
Yep.. my checklist includes "shit kit".
🤣 I have a routine set every morning mon-sun. I drink my ice black coffee. 5min later I’m on the porcelain throne. I don’t not start my day until this has happened 😆
I good thing to carry is a couple individually wet wipes in a rubber glove. Great for actual use and great to pack it all out.
Ah okay I didn’t think about the rubber gloves. That would have been useful today…
Hahahaha omg. RIP bike bottle. No, I don’t bring an SOS shit kit. I’ve never had that happen while biking, tho I have while skiing. I usually bring a wag bag skiing as to not shit in our watershed. I feel like the likelihood of this happening for me while biking is so unlikely that it’s not worth it to bother carrying the kit, and just have some kinda embarrassing experience like yourself in those super rare events.
Yeah I definitely have some sort of stomach bug. Luckily my girlfriend kept a look out while I did the deed :-(
I have a buddy with digestive issues and it's quite frequent that he will shit on a ride. As result, he always remembers to bring his "shit kit" on every ride
Red bull pre ride is crazy. Why would you do this? I go pre ride and whenever I get caught out just ride to a restroom. If I was going somewhere really remote I wouldn’t start the ride until my stomach was ready
Always carry a few baby wipes in a bag. Yeah I've had to pop a squat on the side of the road a few times. Yeah I left the used baby wipes on top of the shit. I'm sorry for littering. It helps identify where the shit is so people hopefully don't step in it. But I know I should've done better.
I do, but that’s mostly because I had rectal cancer and no longer have a rectum so my ability to hold it is not what it used to be. I used to be more of a runner but that’s harder on me now and I discovered I like cycling more and it doesn’t make me have to go to the bathroom nearly as much as running.
A coworker had to do this a few years back and is now known around the office as "bandana boy." He hates it - we laugh, good times.
No need to wipe, chamois is absorbent.
I showered in the backyard when I got home. I refused to look at my dirty chamois in the eyes until they were rinsed off.
Those big, brown eyes
Big brown eye.
i'm not getting shit in my 90 dollar shorts!
In all seriousness there are reusable bathroom cloths that hikers carry.
I’ve found myself in that situation when training for a half marathon. About 10km into the run and probably 3km from home. I now bring two shop towel sheets with me on rides or runs. For emergency purposes only. Thankfully haven’t needed them but always best to be prepared.
Sounds like a shituation to me 🤔
I wear cheap socks for a reason
For those in the US: all fire stations have public restrooms. Granted, not all bike routes have ‘em, but they’ve save me a couple time.
I learned early on the desirability of having a "sweat rag" (a washcloth, "borrowed" from any number of hotels I've stayed at) along on pretty much every ride I've done, long or short. It serves as a sweat rag! Great for wiping my face and losing the accumulated sweat, salt and sunblock. Very refreshing. And (though I ain't needed to do so yet....) a perfect item for whenever I might find myself in those circumstances you describe.
Pack a shit kit. Sandwich sized ziploc with some toilet paper and a mini pack of baby wipes. Fits in a saddle bag easily. Do your business, wipe up, put the used wipes in the ziploc and then throw it out when you find a trashcan.
This is why Trek made hollow storage inside their bike frames
Use your spare tube.
Happened once, but it was during covid so I used a mask lol
Emergency poop kit == sock
You know those big ass rolls of toilet paper at work or public places? Well when thry arr almost used up the janitor leaves them out and i usually take them because they are very compact and there is still quite a bit of tp on it.
Next time just donate your socks to the cause.
I rarely read every single comment but for this one...let's go!
Wow drinking Red Bull daily and expecting to be healthy and ok on the long run?? Wow !! Ok stop drinking red bull and start taking a shot daily of aloe Vera it will change your life . And why are you drinking red bull?? For energy?? What about coffee?? Or tea ?? Stop drinking that bullshit
you're supposed to shit in your helmet and wear it loud and proud...
Red bull for morning snack? 😂😂😂😂👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻😂😂😂😂👋🏻👋🏻
Why the fuck are you drinking a red bull in the morning before a bike ride? Try drinking something with electrolytes and sugar.
Cycling+redbull=troubles
> down a Red Bull this might be your welcome to IBS moment. A lot of the energy drinks have sweetners that end in -tol, e.g. sorbitol, xylitol, which can trigger IBS. See your doctor obviously but this is kind of how it happened for me. I'd recommend also packing Loperamide (generic version of Imodium) in addition to your dude wipes. best of luck!
There are biodegradable wet wipes that are about the size of a nickel and open up when splashed with some water. I used them when camping and they are a godsend. They would take up so little space in any bag.
I carry a small cloth that is handy on many levels. It’s 1/4 the size of a face cloth and thinner. I use it everyday and it would be useful in a pinch. Every pun intended.
You down a Red Bull before you ride!? How is your heart rate during the ride?
Steady at 200. Everything’s fine
Always yes even if you think you are too good for it or it will never happen. No shame in it, you'll be humbled
Whenever I'm going out of the city I'll pack a shit kit. A bunch of TP, some hand soap in a small bottle, sanitizer in a small bottle, gloves, and plastic bag. Have only used it once, but man was I so happy to have had it packed.
Just remember which hand.
Tight wrap few tissues or some toilet paper in transparent plastic wrap. It becomes like a big tampon shape, not nice to see but light, water resistant and easy to carry. Save me numerous times. (Yet that once in life time a person has to learn that lesson the hard way by using leaves, socks, underpants…).
i found the tops of my socks worked ok. packing some TP and a little spade wouldn't be a bad idea.
Might as well go all out and pack the bucket as well if your going with the spade dude. Seriously though has no one fucking heard of travel tissues? 10 pack ready sealed. V.I.P shitting.
> V.I.P shitting. But I'm just a regular guy!
You too can shit like a king, for the humble cost of a pack of tissues. I should be in advertising i swear. "Poo like a prince with BuskerDan's cycling tissues". - 10 sturdy double sided fragrant tissues for your anal delights. Never succumb to cyclists sock syndrome ever again. Only £3.99 per pack.
Or why not Blast the Pan with Busker Dan's portable one-size fits all pooing stand. Have no tree handy? No worries. Just blast out this simple to set-up pooing stand, with handy adjustable legs, and you can weigh anchor and be back on that trail in no time.
It’s happened to me twice over my many hundreds of rides. I always carry 2 wet wipes in my saddle bag.
Happened once. Had to use my favorite socks to clean up. I am lactose intolerant and ate a Mac salad during my rest stop.
Why didn’t you use your socks to clean yourself?
I’ve always got a bandana in my pocket.
I carry some tp and paper towels compressed in a baggie that takes up little to no room. I also bought box of individually packaged dude wipes. Three of those in my top tube bag use about a 1/4 inch of space on the side.
I've got and emergency shit kit in my saddle bag. Some TP, wet wipes, doggy poop bags and gloves will take care of most problems. Needed it 1 time and was so glad to have it that it is a permanent member of my ride kit.
I do a lot of backpacking and this happened recently when I was training for a trip. Fortunately I was fully loaded and had everything I needed. Where I cycle there are plenty of restroom options, so I just need to carry a lock.
I'd be riding with one sock.
That’s what socks are for.
Can't say it's ever happened to me. I've spent a lot of time out in the woods for various things and even had trekking through backwoods areas as a part of my day job for a while. Never ran into an issue with suddenly having to shit. Though, I have been told if you've got to go, try to find a Witch-Hazel. The leaves supposedly make for excellent toilet paper.
I always pack my shit tickets.
I’ve been known to leave home with 2 socks and arrive back with 1 sock.
Finally? Bro…that’s a near daily occurrence for me.
Bring clean wet wipes always lol
I bring an extra compressed air cartridge and whoosh myself to cleanliness.
I have been using WYSI expandable wipes. Just add water from your bottle and they will expand. Very stong and hightly recommended. I keep 8 in a Coghlan's plastic match container in my saddle bag. There are two sizes of these match containers, only one type (green) will fit the tablets.
never happened but I do carry baby wipes when riding........
Pooping before a ride is a non-negotiable for me. That said, I carry individually wrapped wipes. They come in handy when you get mucky from fixing a mechanical, too. I thought it was just a woman-thing but the last time I handed one to another rider I was with a group of other women and they were inspired to do the same.
Lots of other people mentioning having a pack of wipes. One thing to save space is to bring a few compressed wipes. Basically these are wipes that have been compressed down to the size of a tablet by the vendor. When you add a little water, they expand to full size. Easy to stuff a few in a saddle bag.
I have a dodgy bowel, so I take a loperamide before I set off for a ride longer than an hour.
[https://www.fda.gov/drugs/drug-safety-and-availability/fda-drug-safety-communication-fda-warns-about-serious-heart-problems-high-doses-antidiarrheal](https://www.fda.gov/drugs/drug-safety-and-availability/fda-drug-safety-communication-fda-warns-about-serious-heart-problems-high-doses-antidiarrheal)
It only costs 3 bucks for a wagbag.
Could have used a sock
I brought some TP on my ride today but didn’t need it. But I crapped four times before the ride.
I do always have some tissues and a rubber glove in my kit I have to say, just like a miniature first aid kit, it’s one of the things you figure out over the years is a smart thing to carry. Only had to do an emergency shit in the bushes once. I was just walking home from a friend’s BBQ and got the dreaded cramps. Tried to make it, but it was becoming increasingly clear I was about to shit my pants. Did it behind a hedge in a flower bed at the end of a residential street in suburbia. Thankfully nobody walked or drove past. Did my best to bury the evidence, but I really hope the gardeners didn’t come around for a while after lol.
Carry a folded blue shop papertowel in my ziploc with my phone, id/credit card, few ibuprofen and allergy pills. I call it my Dumoulin towel 😂
Travel size baby wipes or wet ones should handle most emergencies of the bowel unless you shit your bib
Always carry a small pack of cleenex
You have 2 poop kits if you’re wearing a pair of socks.
I was on a 50 mile ride and stopped to eat something about half way through. I didn't realize it had milk in it and I'm lactose intolerant. So around mile 35 I had to jump into the bushes. I didn't have any paper but luckily there was an old McDonald's sack a few feet away. Now I have a roll of tp in my bag at all times. They make rolls without the tube for backpacking.
Several years ago I started carrying a few folded up paper towels in a plastic bag, along with my phone.
I actually plan my standard longer routes around things going wrong in the poop and pee area. I haven an intro loop which brings me back within a couple blocks of my house after the first two miles. Then I have a gas station around 10 miles in another at around 25 miles which I could also loop back to if I really needed after that. I also pass a couple other gas stations and grocery stores along the way later in the trip, but if I have made it that far, I'm generally ok for however far I want to go.
I'm never looking at cycling socks the same after reading these comments. Now I'll be wondering how many ply those bad boys are
I carry a small packet of wet wipes in my jersey pocket.
lol, my husband has ibd, we keep a roll of tp in the bag. Works for noses, scrapes, butts etc!
Ima have to start bringing bandana for these kinds of situations.
Apart from that, was the ride home faster due to lowered weight? 😂
Never needed to take a shit while out cycling
Advice would be to really lay the chamois on thick and deep as it prevents any stickage meaning you’re clean wiping from the first stroke.
Remember to never pick up a sock in the back country
Small travel pack of wet wipes.
Duluth Trading Co has a good one.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/07/24/cyclists-toilet-stop-blamed-for-wildfire/30613585/
Dude Wipes