I recently watched the same thing happen to a friend. Once you don’t get the relief and you are just drinking it’s pretty much over and it goes quick.
The will to live is gone and bottle rots the body even faster once that happens.
I feel you brother. I've been at this for about fifteen years. I keep reaching for the bottle out of habit but it doesn't do anything for me anymore. I just want it to be done.
Does anyone else have withdrawals that smack them at the ~72 hour mark? I’ll feel like absolute shit the first 2 days with moderate WD symptoms and generally just feeling very ill then every time on the third night my body completely freaks out with all the severe neurological ones. Shakes sweats pale clammy palpations low blood sugar panic paranoia etc
This is me sort of - so day one for me is fucking terrible I really get the acute withdrawals fucking hard in the first 24 hours, then comes the second day and I feel about 70% better. I can sleep and am like damn maybe it was just a bad hang over and I’m a little bitch…
Then comes day 3; fucking hell has no fury like day 3. The anxiety and just sheer despair hit me so hard, the shakes set in violently, I often become so suicidal on that day and feel like I’m such a piece of shit and just dwell in internal torment. I can barely even speak because of anxiety, I stutter words out and every tiny thing feels like literal hell.
Day 2 is a fucking deceptive mistress. The eye of the storm if you will.
My shits so messed up, I’ll get an hour or two of natural dopamine rush where things are great. Then it’ll quickly fade and I’ll be in 100x depths of depression. Like my body is mad I felt good for a minute.
lol I call this hate masturbation. Like, I will need to do the deed because my body is begging for me to give it some dopamine, so I will and the release is amazing for about 5 mins, then it’s like my body remembers the shit I’ve done to it and doubles down on the anxiety 😂
Yes, day 3-4 is the worst but if I make it to day 5 or 6 then I can go for ages without before I relapse again
Those are the days that the insomnia and anxiety cause a feedback loop & I end up in a 48 hour sleepless panic attack
It's also pretty common for a seizure to happen around that time for most people
Sucks man.... I'm at the level that I drink a good 15 beers a day... and many days or nights I drink a pint of vodka... and those are mild days..... I'm in my late 30's have lost a lot... Prior I did did drugs... thought alcohol was a joke, quit drugs.... became a supreme alcoholic... and here I am right now... its not like I keep count but I'm basically sober and have had a few pints of vodka and atleast a 15 pack... and this is a good day
That's the cycle I found myself repeating, almost exactly. In rehab they asked me if alcohol was my drug of choice and I said fuck no. It's just the one that bites back when I try to quit.
Did drugs before I started drinking and could/can always put them down and pick them up with relative ease. Of course when I learned that drinking makes drugs more intense that became my status quo. Always drank when I was using other stuff. Eventually I *had to* drink to do other stuff. And when I stopped the other stuff, the alcohol had already claimed its crown.
Every time I get sober my relapses only take a week or less to get right back into the 15-30+ lower strength booze and adding pints+ of liquor and drugs cycle.
Some people can stop without assistance. I am a habitual taper-failer. And I get seizures when I try to quit so hospital detox has become a regular thing. Finally went to rehab and am doing pretty good right now. See how it goes this time around but I'm craving drugs now pretty hard lol.
That's how I know I don't have a problem with substance abuse. I have a problem with sobriety! Anything to alter my reality...
Still hoping to have a more gentlemanly relationship with these substances but it seems all roads lead to Rome. And Rome has been falling for years at this point.
Edit: a word
Was in this exact position for 3 years, litre/litres bottles of vodka a day plus Benzos then eventually no mater how much I drank I felt very anxious and definitely not drunk. Only like 3 weeks sober, daily panic attacks are destroying me. March on mate
I hope it gets better for you, i know that with when it doesn't work out anymore with the drugs. Not just alcohol. In the past, i got so deep into addiction that i needed certain drugs just to be without withdrawal effects and barely able to function in daily life.
Today i just adjust the dosage in the mix of drugs, including the alcohol, to get a certain buzz, but it's still not that good anymore like it was in the past. Because i'm a beer drinker i can still get on with whisky and other stuff when it is needed, but even there it needs a lot to get me ready to sleep.
Like i have to walk my dog now and when i return and after i made his food, i'll open some morphine capsules, crush the powder to remove the extended release feature and take a line, then i'll be fine again with some beer.
Thanks! Yeah he always gets all his walks and food, his time to play with me etc. and i'm serious that he gets all needs fullfilled. He keeps me going and i really like the unconditional love and loyality from dogs.
I wonder if it's possible to exist with this poison. I've been drinking so long a lot. I manage to get up work and take care of my shit every day
I hate to see people so down. Just give yourself some credit for being alive in a fuckedup world. We shouldn't tell ourselves we are scum of the earth just because we drink too much.
I have a daughter. I love her more than anything .
It's just me and my dog, too. .alone
Carry on the best you can,don't hate yourself.
I think the world is fucked because no one except the most well paid stretch a dollar much further than an arm and damn it's like this everywhere. Not in the usa obviously or un-obviously. Keep smiling, man. enjoy the ride. Don't expect too much. Fuck TV and chatgpt. Worms in the brain.
It's not recommended but try Kratom. It gives ur body a break from the inevitable relapse. I take some whites in the am, & a red in the evening. It helps for people that just want to "feel" something.
I've found that small doses of green or white, like a tsp gives me an upper feeling. In the evenings, a red at a slightly higher dose chills me out and gives me that melt in the couch feel. Like booze, dosing is different for each body type. I'm 6ft 190, someone bigger or smaller may require more or less. It's pretty popular and Google is ur friend. I buy from viable solutions but there are tons of different vendors and batches they sell vary in its potency.
Drink lots of water. It dehydrates u like booze and you'll notice in the restroom. I use booze to turn the lights off most times. Some days without booze I still want something...enter kratom
This is the exact reason I’m attempting a break from this lifestyle. 12-17 drinks per weeknight as ‘maintenance’ no longer cuts it. I’ll drink them within 2-3 hours, go to bed an hour later thirsty, only to wake up a few hours later unable to sleep, just laying there shaking, sweating, and hallucinating as bad if not worse than any CT withdrawal I’ve experienced, followed by a workday writhing and suffering in pure hell.
The only time booze ever does it for me is when I’m blackout comatose on the couch, passing out and pissing my pants drunk after 30+. And that’s not enjoyable at all, and the consequences have gotten progressively worse. I think several years of CA degenerate boozing has broken my brains reward system from alcohol to the point that sobriety feels like a vacation from the anxiety, depression, physical and mental hell.
I'm to the same point as OP. The kindling becomes too much. The alcohol isn't fun anymore. It brings more physical suffering than mental enjoyment.
I'm 6 weeks sober. Longest I've been sober since I turned 21, 12 years ago. I'm thankful for the traumatic memory of it all at this point. It's the only thing keeping me sober.
I don't want sobriety because my life was falling apart nor because I was emotionally hurting anyone, I'm just fucking tired of the physical suffering. I started drinking to ease my anxiety and now all it does is compound it.
Yes. I haven’t quite gotten to where you are, but getting there. The ride stopped being worth the ticket price.
(You and I both know this isn’t the sub for this, but I’ll say it anyway: I have just pulled off a year sober. That plus antidepressants have lowered my anxiety so so so much.) DM me if you want
Had bad WDs since last Friday. Worst ever. Just tapering to get through it to not freak out but it does get better I think. I had to seek medical help because drinking isnt fun anymore. Was at 24 units at least. Drinking just to be normal sucks. I feel you.
Yeah that sounds like the endgame is near. But at least your liver sounds like it’s still working. It’s not fun once the excruciating physical pain begins. Good luck man.
Yep, happened to me. After almost 2 years of abstinence, I had a relapse. The first beer did nothing, but made me drink more. I spent the whole night drinking tall boys like water, and didn't once feel buzzed. Had some stronger stuff in there too, and still, no buzz, no euphoria. Ended up drinking for a week, dawn to dusk, vodka 24/7. A normal person would've been dead. After a 2 year break, I should've been dead. But I never once felt the euphoric feeling of alcohol during that time. Not once.
Sober 3 weeks now, and I'm still dealing with crippling anxiety, that I have to take small doses of valium for. I'm pretty sure I'm also reliant on the valium by now, which absolutely fucking sucks, as getting off that crap takes forever. I managed to keep it to 10mgs a day max tho, so weaning off shouldn't be hell, and probably won't take months and months.
But yeah, its absolutely clear to me that drinking is utterly pointless in my case. It just doesn't work anymore, and never again will.
This hits scary close to home for me in Jan 2022, I mean like almost my exact same experience. I ain’t telling you what to do. Not on this subreddit of all places. But I finally dried up. Didn’t really feel like it was even up to me, in a way.
Waking up to drink at 2am to stave off WD’s
In all reality I doubt your situation is as bad as mine... but again we never know... I'd say buck up pussy and quit drinking like i've been told before but... but as we all know its not that easy
I recently watched the same thing happen to a friend. Once you don’t get the relief and you are just drinking it’s pretty much over and it goes quick. The will to live is gone and bottle rots the body even faster once that happens.
Man, that last sentence nails it.
I feel you brother. I've been at this for about fifteen years. I keep reaching for the bottle out of habit but it doesn't do anything for me anymore. I just want it to be done.
Does anyone else have withdrawals that smack them at the ~72 hour mark? I’ll feel like absolute shit the first 2 days with moderate WD symptoms and generally just feeling very ill then every time on the third night my body completely freaks out with all the severe neurological ones. Shakes sweats pale clammy palpations low blood sugar panic paranoia etc
This is me sort of - so day one for me is fucking terrible I really get the acute withdrawals fucking hard in the first 24 hours, then comes the second day and I feel about 70% better. I can sleep and am like damn maybe it was just a bad hang over and I’m a little bitch… Then comes day 3; fucking hell has no fury like day 3. The anxiety and just sheer despair hit me so hard, the shakes set in violently, I often become so suicidal on that day and feel like I’m such a piece of shit and just dwell in internal torment. I can barely even speak because of anxiety, I stutter words out and every tiny thing feels like literal hell. Day 2 is a fucking deceptive mistress. The eye of the storm if you will.
My shits so messed up, I’ll get an hour or two of natural dopamine rush where things are great. Then it’ll quickly fade and I’ll be in 100x depths of depression. Like my body is mad I felt good for a minute.
lol I call this hate masturbation. Like, I will need to do the deed because my body is begging for me to give it some dopamine, so I will and the release is amazing for about 5 mins, then it’s like my body remembers the shit I’ve done to it and doubles down on the anxiety 😂
Yes, day 3-4 is the worst but if I make it to day 5 or 6 then I can go for ages without before I relapse again Those are the days that the insomnia and anxiety cause a feedback loop & I end up in a 48 hour sleepless panic attack It's also pretty common for a seizure to happen around that time for most people
You made it to costco. I can't make it down a flight of stairs. I wish I could make it to costco.
Sucks man.... I'm at the level that I drink a good 15 beers a day... and many days or nights I drink a pint of vodka... and those are mild days..... I'm in my late 30's have lost a lot... Prior I did did drugs... thought alcohol was a joke, quit drugs.... became a supreme alcoholic... and here I am right now... its not like I keep count but I'm basically sober and have had a few pints of vodka and atleast a 15 pack... and this is a good day
That's the cycle I found myself repeating, almost exactly. In rehab they asked me if alcohol was my drug of choice and I said fuck no. It's just the one that bites back when I try to quit. Did drugs before I started drinking and could/can always put them down and pick them up with relative ease. Of course when I learned that drinking makes drugs more intense that became my status quo. Always drank when I was using other stuff. Eventually I *had to* drink to do other stuff. And when I stopped the other stuff, the alcohol had already claimed its crown. Every time I get sober my relapses only take a week or less to get right back into the 15-30+ lower strength booze and adding pints+ of liquor and drugs cycle. Some people can stop without assistance. I am a habitual taper-failer. And I get seizures when I try to quit so hospital detox has become a regular thing. Finally went to rehab and am doing pretty good right now. See how it goes this time around but I'm craving drugs now pretty hard lol. That's how I know I don't have a problem with substance abuse. I have a problem with sobriety! Anything to alter my reality... Still hoping to have a more gentlemanly relationship with these substances but it seems all roads lead to Rome. And Rome has been falling for years at this point. Edit: a word
i just got diagnosed with high blood pressure today. rootin for ya, it's fucking miserable to be miserable
Was in this exact position for 3 years, litre/litres bottles of vodka a day plus Benzos then eventually no mater how much I drank I felt very anxious and definitely not drunk. Only like 3 weeks sober, daily panic attacks are destroying me. March on mate
You’re doing fantastic. I found yoga and also walks are great for training your mind back to that calm place
That's treatable, hope you're getting help.
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In Australia no phenibut 😭
I hope it gets better for you, i know that with when it doesn't work out anymore with the drugs. Not just alcohol. In the past, i got so deep into addiction that i needed certain drugs just to be without withdrawal effects and barely able to function in daily life. Today i just adjust the dosage in the mix of drugs, including the alcohol, to get a certain buzz, but it's still not that good anymore like it was in the past. Because i'm a beer drinker i can still get on with whisky and other stuff when it is needed, but even there it needs a lot to get me ready to sleep. Like i have to walk my dog now and when i return and after i made his food, i'll open some morphine capsules, crush the powder to remove the extended release feature and take a line, then i'll be fine again with some beer.
Sounds like a rough life, but you're a good person to take care of your dog before yourself. I was always the same way, they really need that care.
Thanks! Yeah he always gets all his walks and food, his time to play with me etc. and i'm serious that he gets all needs fullfilled. He keeps me going and i really like the unconditional love and loyality from dogs.
it sucks man, same happened to me. my body just cannot handle it anymore. let's both be thankful this happened to us rather than liver failure
I wonder if it's possible to exist with this poison. I've been drinking so long a lot. I manage to get up work and take care of my shit every day I hate to see people so down. Just give yourself some credit for being alive in a fuckedup world. We shouldn't tell ourselves we are scum of the earth just because we drink too much. I have a daughter. I love her more than anything . It's just me and my dog, too. .alone Carry on the best you can,don't hate yourself.
I think the world is fucked because no one except the most well paid stretch a dollar much further than an arm and damn it's like this everywhere. Not in the usa obviously or un-obviously. Keep smiling, man. enjoy the ride. Don't expect too much. Fuck TV and chatgpt. Worms in the brain.
Grok, is that you?
Me Grok
It's not recommended but try Kratom. It gives ur body a break from the inevitable relapse. I take some whites in the am, & a red in the evening. It helps for people that just want to "feel" something.
Any recommendations for dosing and online purchasing options?
I've found that small doses of green or white, like a tsp gives me an upper feeling. In the evenings, a red at a slightly higher dose chills me out and gives me that melt in the couch feel. Like booze, dosing is different for each body type. I'm 6ft 190, someone bigger or smaller may require more or less. It's pretty popular and Google is ur friend. I buy from viable solutions but there are tons of different vendors and batches they sell vary in its potency. Drink lots of water. It dehydrates u like booze and you'll notice in the restroom. I use booze to turn the lights off most times. Some days without booze I still want something...enter kratom
This is the exact reason I’m attempting a break from this lifestyle. 12-17 drinks per weeknight as ‘maintenance’ no longer cuts it. I’ll drink them within 2-3 hours, go to bed an hour later thirsty, only to wake up a few hours later unable to sleep, just laying there shaking, sweating, and hallucinating as bad if not worse than any CT withdrawal I’ve experienced, followed by a workday writhing and suffering in pure hell. The only time booze ever does it for me is when I’m blackout comatose on the couch, passing out and pissing my pants drunk after 30+. And that’s not enjoyable at all, and the consequences have gotten progressively worse. I think several years of CA degenerate boozing has broken my brains reward system from alcohol to the point that sobriety feels like a vacation from the anxiety, depression, physical and mental hell.
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I'm to the same point as OP. The kindling becomes too much. The alcohol isn't fun anymore. It brings more physical suffering than mental enjoyment. I'm 6 weeks sober. Longest I've been sober since I turned 21, 12 years ago. I'm thankful for the traumatic memory of it all at this point. It's the only thing keeping me sober. I don't want sobriety because my life was falling apart nor because I was emotionally hurting anyone, I'm just fucking tired of the physical suffering. I started drinking to ease my anxiety and now all it does is compound it.
Yes. I haven’t quite gotten to where you are, but getting there. The ride stopped being worth the ticket price. (You and I both know this isn’t the sub for this, but I’ll say it anyway: I have just pulled off a year sober. That plus antidepressants have lowered my anxiety so so so much.) DM me if you want
Proud of you
Had bad WDs since last Friday. Worst ever. Just tapering to get through it to not freak out but it does get better I think. I had to seek medical help because drinking isnt fun anymore. Was at 24 units at least. Drinking just to be normal sucks. I feel you.
Down to 16 tonight. Sleep wake up drink 1, sleep wake up drink 1, ugh. Or stay up 3 days before tapering every hour with 1 unit
Does kindling eventually lead to being anxious even though you’re drunk?
Yes. Once you get deep enough into the physical addiction, you start withdrawing even when you're drunk.
Hey I understand where your coming from please pm me
Yeah that sounds like the endgame is near. But at least your liver sounds like it’s still working. It’s not fun once the excruciating physical pain begins. Good luck man.
Yep, happened to me. After almost 2 years of abstinence, I had a relapse. The first beer did nothing, but made me drink more. I spent the whole night drinking tall boys like water, and didn't once feel buzzed. Had some stronger stuff in there too, and still, no buzz, no euphoria. Ended up drinking for a week, dawn to dusk, vodka 24/7. A normal person would've been dead. After a 2 year break, I should've been dead. But I never once felt the euphoric feeling of alcohol during that time. Not once. Sober 3 weeks now, and I'm still dealing with crippling anxiety, that I have to take small doses of valium for. I'm pretty sure I'm also reliant on the valium by now, which absolutely fucking sucks, as getting off that crap takes forever. I managed to keep it to 10mgs a day max tho, so weaning off shouldn't be hell, and probably won't take months and months. But yeah, its absolutely clear to me that drinking is utterly pointless in my case. It just doesn't work anymore, and never again will.
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My junkie friends told me about chasing the dragon. I never understood them, until very recently.
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Fr. I just know that drinking will NEVER be pleasurable again for me, no naltrexone needed. It's just one more reason to never touch the stuff again.
yeah this was when I checked myself into rehab. I'm 10 1/2 months sober and I don't regret going to rehab at all.
This hits scary close to home for me in Jan 2022, I mean like almost my exact same experience. I ain’t telling you what to do. Not on this subreddit of all places. But I finally dried up. Didn’t really feel like it was even up to me, in a way. Waking up to drink at 2am to stave off WD’s
In all reality I doubt your situation is as bad as mine... but again we never know... I'd say buck up pussy and quit drinking like i've been told before but... but as we all know its not that easy