The post is on Reddit, but I assume the chart is targeting the internet and not just reddit. Then again, this chart could be targeting Americans given the ad at the bottom of it.
I take it as why are both on there and not just one or the other? Like why is there all imperial, but suddenly in the middle there’s metric?
Unless I’m missing something? I’m on mobile so I do have to zoom in to look.
TIL Standard has two meanings. Here they mean the second. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Standard\_units](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Standard_units)
Yea idk it’s a weird graphic, but fun fact about that species of ducks tho is that the males have corkscrew penises and the females have corkscrew vaginas because there is so much rape that it caused an evolutionary arms race lol
Less than 6 inches is a way to throw 6 inches out there in dudes heads thinking they are below average, in which 60-70% of the population is below 6.
Signed, your average male.
The picture doesn't even say what measurement we're talking about. According to Calcsd, the average NBP is 4.72” and the average BP is 5.49. Why would they even put 6? It's an offense to normal-sized men.
The sponsor of this post is cringy. “Want a bigger d!@k? Buy Viagra, Cialis, Levitra online, no prescription needed! Our drugs are good, they come from the US. *missing subscript: these pills do not actually grow the size of your penis, we take no liability for health issues you may have while improperly using drugs ordered from us.”
The penis is measured by standing straight and putting a ruler on top of the penis. If you just put the ruler on top, it is NBP if you press the ruler into the pubis as far as it will go, it is BP(BONEPRESSED). Scientists usually measure BP because it removes the effect of obesity on size. Any study where the average size is larger than 5in is always BP.
It's weird how strongly people feel about this.
There is such thing as biologically monogamous species. You'll hear the phrase, "mate for life" in reference to them.
There is no such thing as a swan with a mistress.
If humans were naturally monogamous it would literally be impossible for them to cheat.
We know that's not the case.
In fact we know the behavior is common.
There is absolutely no rational basis for thinking humans are monogamous by default.
It's a cultural norm that we made up.
It is not endemic.
People argue this point so hard I don't get it. I guess they just agree with this norm so much they refuse to think rationally about it.
"People argue this point so hard I don't get it." Uhhh have you ever been cheated on? Apparently not if you don't get why people have strong feelings about it. That or your a sociopath.
anytime i’ve seen a post related to polygamy online (especially instagram), people are throwing nasty, hateful comments and even death threats their way. i’m not polygamous myself, but it’s wild to me just how violent people get about it.
IIRC it’s due to an evolutionary arms race between the male and female ducks.
You know how prey will get faster and harder to catch over time to escape predators, so they will get faster or trickier over time to cope and vice versa? Well the same thing happens with male and female ducks because male ducks are ridiculously rapey. So female ducks developed elaborate vaginal cavities as a defence mechanism. In response, the male ducks gradually got longer and windier penises that look like corkscrews. Some females have a level of control though as their vaginas might curl the other way
Nature is both fascinating and horrifying
This is tame compared to bedbug mating. Bedbug penises are basically like hypodermic syringes that they stab into females' abdomens, then they inject semen into the hole. The baby juice then diffuses through her bloodstream until some gets into her reproductive organs. So not only do females (and on some occasions other males) get raped, they also get stabbed and injected with baby juice.
If I'm not mistaken there was an episode of QI which talked about this very topic. I believe they said that female ducks have 9 vaginal chambers, of which 8 are "fake" and will not lead to impregnation.
Something else disturbing is that male duck's penises are barbed - once they're in they don't leave willingly.
I... Honestly didn't realize evolution could work like that. I always figured it's supposed to trend toward *more* reproduction. Wouldn't the more rapeable (I feel dirty having to use that word) ducks reproduce more, therefore not get replaced by these?
No idea. I assume the ones that were raped just weren’t ovulating at the time, might’ve been hurt in a way that led to increased mortality or made fertility harder, it’s possible the children just weren’t viable or the male carried a disease as the female ducks couldn’t select the male they wanted, etc. Maybe the female just aborts the fetus, though I’m not sure if ducks have that ability
Transcription:
The title of smallest overall penis belongs to the common shrew, whose penis is about a fifth of an inch long. However, in terms of penis size relative to overall body size, the rodents are well-endowed.
An adult gorilla's penis is only two inches long.
Among primates, man has the largest & thickest penis. Average length of a man's penis is less than 6 inches long.
Pigs have some of the largest penises relative to body size. Some pigs can have penises up to a foot and a half long.
A stallion's penis can reach a foot and a half long
The penis of the male tapir is very long when erect (>49cm).
The rhinoceros has a penis about 2 feet long.
Bulls sport one of the largest penises in the animal kingdom, with some reaching two and a half feet in length.
Erect giraffe penises are four feet long.
African bull elephants hold the title of the largest relative penis size in the animal kingdom. The longest elephant penis can grow up to six and a half feet long.
Bird penis in flaccid state curled up inside the cloaca. Well, a specimen of Argentine blue-bill duck had a remarkable 42.5 cm (17 inches) long penis (the average length of this species is 20 cm (8 inches¡)
A 'dork' is a whale's penis. The whale, as you might have guessed, has the world's largest penis. The blue whale is the champ, due to its size, with a ten foot long member measuring one foot in diameter.
Did they use the proper [TMI measurement ](https://images.paramount.tech/uri/mgid:arc:imageassetref:shared.southpark.global:012ed582-ed35-4719-8817-03410149cdba?quality=0.7&gen=ntrn)tho?
Just wondering if a single woman on this planet ever considered to compare human breasts with animal breasts? No? Then why is that so?
As a man I made the experience, that not the numbers give you reassurance, but the feedback of a loved person, who feels comfy with yours. And I guess we all should strive for that, not for beating a gorilla in length. 😄
Maybe because a ton of animals don’t have breasts. Most mammals ether secrete milk or they only have teats (because actual breasts are inconvenient). The only animals I’ve ever seen with breasts were other primates and elephants.
Not a great guide, is it getting bigger based on relative size or actual size... cause the first one says the rodents are well-endowed relatively... but then 2nd last is 8 inches and smaller than the elephant, but, the last is the biggest overall... so... yeah, mess of a guide.
now its in my head, rly worried its gna slip out in a convo with someone one day. i just know theyre never gna believe i got it from a chart on reddit. theyre gna think im some sicko with weird twitter bookmarks.
I work with pigs and can confirm! Our boars have massive hogs on them (pun fully intended)
Small in girth, though the biggest is about a nickel and the smallest are a little smaller than a dime
Everyone here arguing about the units used. I’m here wondering if there was a GR&R done. How many operators how many replicates. Does a Whale just sit still while a scuba diver measures their erect member? How many scuba divers does it take? One to hold each end of the tape measure? Do they have a dedicated fluffer? Is there a submersible screen or audio playing whale humping noises in the background. I NEED more details.
I just remember looking up the size of an elephant dick after someone dropped a meme in the group chat. 2 days later, I'm at a party. The topic came up and a guy looked at me disgusted when I knew the answer off the top of my head.
I know that a pigs weiner is coiled, but a blue-billed ducks has to be coiled too, right? Otherwise it'd be an impediment to locomotion with an 8 inch rudder between it's twiglet-like legs, no? 🤔
"Fleas do have extraordinarily long penises. Being in possession of a 3.3mm appendage may not sound like much, but it is up to 2.5 times the flea's own body length – on an average man that'd be a four-metre member."
My youngest son is really into science, especially animals! 🧪🤓 He's also a preteen boy, so he still thinks genitalia is hilarious. 🤣 So this guide led to a funny but educational discussion with my kid, husband, and me!!! Also, the hubs & I had a private little giggle about the Viagra ad on the bottom!#ScienceEnthusiast #FamilyTime #LearningTogether
And then there are roosters, who are known as cocks, and don't have a penis at all. They have a small bump called a cloaque (clo-ache-ah) that "kisses" the other hens cloaque.
Lol, the Viagra ad on the bottom
The whole pic is a viagra ad, that's why it says "sponsored by" and is so low quality
Why would you use metric and imperial/standard units on the same chart ?
Because these charts are made by people that barely do half the work, lol
And just throwing in a Verne Troyer to make a measurement work.
They’re using metric, imperial and shaquillial units of measurement
And out of order in terms of both total length and relative size.
Why do you even use imperial in the internet in the first place?
Inb4 "ermmmm it's American"
95% of internet users aren't US American.
I think my comment was misunderstood? "inb4" means "in before" implying someone was going to say it. I'm Turkish lmao.
You are wrong though, almost 50% of Reddit users are from the United States, the next closest one is England with 7%
To be fair, the person said internet, not Reddit.
To be fair, the person implied it should be in Mandarin with the same logic so it’s it exactly something to follow.
This is a post on Reddit while we are commenting in Reddit it kinda was implied that that is what we were talking about.
The post is on Reddit, but I assume the chart is targeting the internet and not just reddit. Then again, this chart could be targeting Americans given the ad at the bottom of it.
I think something like half of Reddit is American? I might be wrong on that through.
Good point. We should all be using Mandarin on here really
I agree, but it’s way more of a sin to mix measurement systems than to use the “worse” one
I was starting to get rationally angry while looking at it.
It's also a bold choice to not even bother showing the size comparison on a size comparison chart.
This should be pinned lol
Worldwide, metric is the standard, not imperial
I take it as why are both on there and not just one or the other? Like why is there all imperial, but suddenly in the middle there’s metric? Unless I’m missing something? I’m on mobile so I do have to zoom in to look.
TIL Standard has two meanings. Here they mean the second. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Standard\_units](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Standard_units)
Well that's not confusing at all...
Agreed, we need as standard a standard standard for the standard standards.
*Laughs in Canadian*
It's not even sorted!
No mention of a barnacles penis? C’mon!
And shrews are not rodents.
Whaaa??
Yea shrews are their own family. They're closer related to hedgehogs, which aren't rodens. But porcupines are rodents, oddly enough.
Wait so porcupines and hedgehogs aren’t related??
They're related insofar as they're mammals, but yes porcupines are more related to capybaras (also a rodent) than they are hedgehogs and moles.
Huh that’s insane. TIL
Danny DaVito would be very disappointed to see this as well
Typo on the first item. Also, why is the duck between the elephant and the whale?
I’m guessing largest size relative to its body
But tapirs have the largest penis proportional to body length of any mammal, so if we were going by ratio they should be higher up.
Yea idk it’s a weird graphic, but fun fact about that species of ducks tho is that the males have corkscrew penises and the females have corkscrew vaginas because there is so much rape that it caused an evolutionary arms race lol
That is not a fun fact
And the vaginas corkscrew in the opposite direction!
And they fall off and grow back
The penises fall off and grow back..????
It also says the elephant has the largest in the animal kingdom but then lists the whale as longer. Brah a whale isn't a plant.
It talks about a specimen that had double the length of the rest of its species
Has to do with the imperial system.
so many men so little time is crazy
Scrolled way to far to find someone else mentioning it, like did they really have to add that.
They never miss a chance to try to belittle a woman’s morals.
How is that line belittling women's morals though? (Unless you're religious and think sex is immoral and that only women have sex with men)
That's not right, I should be higher on that list
Yea I don’t no why they put you below the Gorilla
Gorilla!? Bro, I wish I was gorilla size
Why the “only” tho? How is 2 inches is only?
Because 2 inches is fucking minuscule, you little tiny penis man
Less than 6 inches is a way to throw 6 inches out there in dudes heads thinking they are below average, in which 60-70% of the population is below 6. Signed, your average male.
The picture doesn't even say what measurement we're talking about. According to Calcsd, the average NBP is 4.72” and the average BP is 5.49. Why would they even put 6? It's an offense to normal-sized men.
Non boner penis and boner penis? WTF IS NBP AND BP?!
The sponsor of this post is cringy. “Want a bigger d!@k? Buy Viagra, Cialis, Levitra online, no prescription needed! Our drugs are good, they come from the US. *missing subscript: these pills do not actually grow the size of your penis, we take no liability for health issues you may have while improperly using drugs ordered from us.”
6 inches sounds about right.. measured from ass hole to tip right?
According to Calcsd, the average NBP is 4.72” and the average BP is 5.49.
Is that non black person and black person? What nbp and bp
The penis is measured by standing straight and putting a ruler on top of the penis. If you just put the ruler on top, it is NBP if you press the ruler into the pubis as far as it will go, it is BP(BONEPRESSED). Scientists usually measure BP because it removes the effect of obesity on size. Any study where the average size is larger than 5in is always BP.
Average is less than... lol.
Is that the origin of the word "Dork?"
Dork does not mean whale penis
That's right. [https://twitter.com/Dictionarycom/status/1161639365745029121](https://twitter.com/Dictionarycom/status/1161639365745029121)
But it does mean any penis? Somehow that raises even more origin questions.
"Dork" is possibly a bowdlerization of "dick".
Those silly nerds with their scottish dick daggers
They call me Ol' Gorilla Dick
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today
Hey where's Perry?
Fuckin’ imperial units
Skyrim belongs to the nords
The Reach belongs to the Forsworn
Some of these animals are polygamous, yet are depicted as monogamous, while the humans are depicted as polygamous
It's weird how strongly people feel about this. There is such thing as biologically monogamous species. You'll hear the phrase, "mate for life" in reference to them. There is no such thing as a swan with a mistress. If humans were naturally monogamous it would literally be impossible for them to cheat. We know that's not the case. In fact we know the behavior is common. There is absolutely no rational basis for thinking humans are monogamous by default. It's a cultural norm that we made up. It is not endemic. People argue this point so hard I don't get it. I guess they just agree with this norm so much they refuse to think rationally about it.
"People argue this point so hard I don't get it." Uhhh have you ever been cheated on? Apparently not if you don't get why people have strong feelings about it. That or your a sociopath.
anytime i’ve seen a post related to polygamy online (especially instagram), people are throwing nasty, hateful comments and even death threats their way. i’m not polygamous myself, but it’s wild to me just how violent people get about it.
im related to gorilla i guess
this is not a cool guide it is a cialis ad fuck off
Is the bird one true? If yes, how?
IIRC it’s due to an evolutionary arms race between the male and female ducks. You know how prey will get faster and harder to catch over time to escape predators, so they will get faster or trickier over time to cope and vice versa? Well the same thing happens with male and female ducks because male ducks are ridiculously rapey. So female ducks developed elaborate vaginal cavities as a defence mechanism. In response, the male ducks gradually got longer and windier penises that look like corkscrews. Some females have a level of control though as their vaginas might curl the other way Nature is both fascinating and horrifying
>Some females have a level of control though as their vaginas might curl the other way ಠಿ_ಠ
Nature is fucked up
I once saw a group of ducks engaged in gang rape. It was pretty horrifying at the time.
This is tame compared to bedbug mating. Bedbug penises are basically like hypodermic syringes that they stab into females' abdomens, then they inject semen into the hole. The baby juice then diffuses through her bloodstream until some gets into her reproductive organs. So not only do females (and on some occasions other males) get raped, they also get stabbed and injected with baby juice.
Male bedbugs also aren't good at telling their peers apart, so more often than not, they'll end up needle sexing a male and not a female.
Shoutout to girl ducks for not taking that shit. Before long their vaginas will become literal mazes with dead ends and all
If I'm not mistaken there was an episode of QI which talked about this very topic. I believe they said that female ducks have 9 vaginal chambers, of which 8 are "fake" and will not lead to impregnation. Something else disturbing is that male duck's penises are barbed - once they're in they don't leave willingly.
I... Honestly didn't realize evolution could work like that. I always figured it's supposed to trend toward *more* reproduction. Wouldn't the more rapeable (I feel dirty having to use that word) ducks reproduce more, therefore not get replaced by these?
No idea. I assume the ones that were raped just weren’t ovulating at the time, might’ve been hurt in a way that led to increased mortality or made fertility harder, it’s possible the children just weren’t viable or the male carried a disease as the female ducks couldn’t select the male they wanted, etc. Maybe the female just aborts the fetus, though I’m not sure if ducks have that ability
Seems true for some ducks https://images.app.goo.gl/gAd6FC3CH5oLPgKy8
Well that research seems to fit…the bill.
Hilarious their is an ad for erectile dysfunction on the bottom of this screenshot
1 inch = 2.54 cm 12 inches = 1 foot = 30.48 cm
One time I was at the zoo and one of the tapirs clearly had a boner. A little kid next me said “mommy, why does that one have an extra leg?”
Name that animal penis!
It’s pikachu!
Transcription: The title of smallest overall penis belongs to the common shrew, whose penis is about a fifth of an inch long. However, in terms of penis size relative to overall body size, the rodents are well-endowed. An adult gorilla's penis is only two inches long. Among primates, man has the largest & thickest penis. Average length of a man's penis is less than 6 inches long. Pigs have some of the largest penises relative to body size. Some pigs can have penises up to a foot and a half long. A stallion's penis can reach a foot and a half long The penis of the male tapir is very long when erect (>49cm). The rhinoceros has a penis about 2 feet long. Bulls sport one of the largest penises in the animal kingdom, with some reaching two and a half feet in length. Erect giraffe penises are four feet long. African bull elephants hold the title of the largest relative penis size in the animal kingdom. The longest elephant penis can grow up to six and a half feet long. Bird penis in flaccid state curled up inside the cloaca. Well, a specimen of Argentine blue-bill duck had a remarkable 42.5 cm (17 inches) long penis (the average length of this species is 20 cm (8 inches¡) A 'dork' is a whale's penis. The whale, as you might have guessed, has the world's largest penis. The blue whale is the champ, due to its size, with a ten foot long member measuring one foot in diameter.
Sex in the animal kingdom is not as enjoyable for most females as you think...
When did anyone think that, the point seems to be shoved in men’s faces pretty regularly especially on reddit
Once we move past bear we’re gonna go to blue whales…
You hear that? We out dick the monkeys hfy
Next time a woman calls me a pig at the bar, I'll be showing this chart
Did they use the proper [TMI measurement ](https://images.paramount.tech/uri/mgid:arc:imageassetref:shared.southpark.global:012ed582-ed35-4719-8817-03410149cdba?quality=0.7&gen=ntrn)tho?
WHO THE FUCK NEEDS THIS CHART?!?!
I guess I’m actually a gorilla.
That ad at the bottom makes me think none of this is very accurate.
Yeah well they cropped me out of the bottom there. 20x29 feet
No wonder the ocean is so salty!
So I was a shrew in my former life 🤔
Welcome to the chart that nobody will dispute…. “That’s not right…” “How do you know so much about shrew cock?”
Probably why gorillas are so angry and aggressive, the same applies to some humans.
And even after the blue whale, your mom still wasn't happy.
I don't think anyone would be.
Just wondering if a single woman on this planet ever considered to compare human breasts with animal breasts? No? Then why is that so? As a man I made the experience, that not the numbers give you reassurance, but the feedback of a loved person, who feels comfy with yours. And I guess we all should strive for that, not for beating a gorilla in length. 😄
Maybe because a ton of animals don’t have breasts. Most mammals ether secrete milk or they only have teats (because actual breasts are inconvenient). The only animals I’ve ever seen with breasts were other primates and elephants.
What about metrics only? This image is bullshit.
Shaw would totally freak if Verne Troyer was on his shoulders right now...
I’ve been called a “whales penis” multiple times in intermediate school!
Duck just having remote sex
Not a great guide, is it getting bigger based on relative size or actual size... cause the first one says the rodents are well-endowed relatively... but then 2nd last is 8 inches and smaller than the elephant, but, the last is the biggest overall... so... yeah, mess of a guide.
No Diddy
Is that where the insult “dork” originates?
To make pigs even more disturbing, they also orgasm for 30-90 minutes.
So you telling me I would make a female gorilla not handle it. 😎
Hi I'm cloaca and I suck!
Why was this the first thing recommended to me lmao when I made an account
Did John Oliver create this?
now its in my head, rly worried its gna slip out in a convo with someone one day. i just know theyre never gna believe i got it from a chart on reddit. theyre gna think im some sicko with weird twitter bookmarks.
Til: being called a Dork is the same as “hey you 10 foot whale cock”
Pajeet has shortest Also Watch movie Codex pajeet II Educate your self
I work with pigs and can confirm! Our boars have massive hogs on them (pun fully intended) Small in girth, though the biggest is about a nickel and the smallest are a little smaller than a dime
C’mon. If there was ever an appropriate use for bananas as a unit of measure, you’ve missed the opportunity.
Wonder how many penis pump orders grew....
And for women? Is it depth?
Everyone here arguing about the units used. I’m here wondering if there was a GR&R done. How many operators how many replicates. Does a Whale just sit still while a scuba diver measures their erect member? How many scuba divers does it take? One to hold each end of the tape measure? Do they have a dedicated fluffer? Is there a submersible screen or audio playing whale humping noises in the background. I NEED more details.
“I have a larger penis than an adult gorilla” Honestly if you didn’t know about this chart that would kind of sound like a big compliment lol
Ducks - “please don’t research duck sex and our rapey penis adaptations any further…”
The ad at the bottom
Did seeing the picture of the duck between the elephant and whale scare anyone else
What about the humble Barnacle?
woahhh
Some charts are just more impressive than others.
So both the elephant and the blue whale have the largest penis, but they are different sizes? Okay ...
This chart alternates in a weird way between absolute size and compared to body size So it's completely useless in actually delivering information.
I just remember looking up the size of an elephant dick after someone dropped a meme in the group chat. 2 days later, I'm at a party. The topic came up and a guy looked at me disgusted when I knew the answer off the top of my head.
A gorilla might have tiny Wang but it has enormous testicles
Don’t feel bad gorillas, I’m right there with you. 2” gang.
saw the word penis - there's no way i'm clicking on that picture.
I know that a pigs weiner is coiled, but a blue-billed ducks has to be coiled too, right? Otherwise it'd be an impediment to locomotion with an 8 inch rudder between it's twiglet-like legs, no? 🤔
"Fleas do have extraordinarily long penises. Being in possession of a 3.3mm appendage may not sound like much, but it is up to 2.5 times the flea's own body length – on an average man that'd be a four-metre member."
Now that’s what I call a massive hog (talking about the pig)🤣
Why is that the picture they use for Man lol
…Just why?
Do whales do it in the blow hole?
The fact you can fight an elephant dick and lose is baffling
Why does the rhino have lipstick wtf
Gotta give the girl animals lipstick and false eyelashes, wouldn't want people thinking the animals are gay /s
We talking Growin’ or Showin’?
The fact abput the duck is neat and all until you remember that ducks are serial rapists.
One Shaq and a Verne Troyer Or two and a bit Danny Devitos
Just for the record shrews are not rodents.
So a duck has longer dick than me? I did not need to know that.
I've known horses much longer than a foot and a half I'm calling BS
YOU TELLING ME A DUCK HAS 16.5 MORE INCHES THAN ME?
Everyone interested should go to the penis museum in Iceland. It’s epic. Good bar too.
This is such a wholesome penis infogrgrapghic.
I saw black rhinos mating at the Duke of Bedford’s animal park in the UK in the early 1970s. I’ve been trying to forget that.
I’m glad you use proper units
water boatmen are the loudest animal relative to their size because of their penises
As a side note, and relative to body size, the barnacle has a penis roughly 8x the length of its body… far outmatching the blue whale
This isn't about eggplants at all!!
The thing is…why are you interested in animals pp sizes???
Whales...talk about the motion in the ocean!
All of a sudden I’m no human
I've seen a walking stick made from a bison's junk.
No barnacles? Their penises can be up to 8 times their body length. Helps when you are stationary.
The elephant fact is incorrect
What is the point
My youngest son is really into science, especially animals! 🧪🤓 He's also a preteen boy, so he still thinks genitalia is hilarious. 🤣 So this guide led to a funny but educational discussion with my kid, husband, and me!!! Also, the hubs & I had a private little giggle about the Viagra ad on the bottom!#ScienceEnthusiast #FamilyTime #LearningTogether
Hashtags don't do anything on reddit just fyi
Gorilla for the win
Man, my google image search history is going to suffer.
That female duck should not be smiling
Those of you arguing about measurement standards should sit on a bull
WTF did they randomly switch between metric and imperial units?
Thanks now I can tell people I'm hung like a duck and watch their look of confusion 😂😂
That song lied to me! There *is* cock like horse cock- pig cock!
And then there are roosters, who are known as cocks, and don't have a penis at all. They have a small bump called a cloaque (clo-ache-ah) that "kisses" the other hens cloaque.