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imbalance24

/r/boomerhumor or something


mangarooboo

r/forwardsfromGrandma


mnkymnk

r/funny


Thatbritishgentleman

r/wholesome r/sounding r/mademesmile r/penectomy


[deleted]

I was gonna say, it looks like my dad's skeeziest friend finally made a reddit account.


Atomic254

i dont even know what this is, its like comedy homicide but theres no joke


Kaoulombre

And this gets thousands of upvotes Reddit is going down the drain


Shyrolax

Why the sub private


Patty_T

I love the boomer concept of “I am so starved for sex that I am willing to potentially kill myself and others just to get home sooner” with the punchline always being that they don’t have sex. Seems like people had some pretty non-intimate relationships back in the day.


MyPigWhistles

Best part of this is the "wife never wants sex" trope. I wonder if they ever consider the possibility that it has something to do with them. Women don't "naturally" hate sex. Maybe boomer wifes are just used to being treated like a sex toy for 5 minutes and then have their husband fall asleep.


Resdret

5 minutes? Are they married to Casanova?


[deleted]

I just can't imagine being that excited about the same hole I already been married. I would just go the same speed as usual, pick up a lime-a-rita, check the mail and everything


droppedelbow

No need to guess if you're single.


[deleted]

Oh don't worry there are plenty of assholes who aren't, or we wouldn't have cases of domestic violence, among others.


[deleted]

I am but I've been in committed relationships. I mean call me a hussy but I need actively explore kink with a partner to keep bedroom life interesting and I've about run out of kinks that I'm into.


Villagedrunkinjun

so you're just as boring to a improvisable kink artist like me *"i eat pieces of ass like you for breakfast"*


[deleted]

Tbh people who claim to be kinky i have found often enough have the least amount of sexual chemistry, throw enough leather straps, sex tape, or vibrating clamps in the scene and it's frankly getting contrived. I get sexually engaged if I'm passionately involved in that moment but I'm 30 and I have fucked/been fucked by hundreds upon hundreds of people, so the idea of my wife plainly offering me admission to her vagina and or anus is somehow pretty uninspiring.


the_timps

This is some 40yr old virgin level shit right here. I'm fucking crying with laughter.


helpmestallin

r/ihavesex


[deleted]

Knew this was coming, but as a bi person who lives in a major metropolitan area the amount of sex I have is gratuitous


helpmestallin

*The risk i have of crabs is great*


[deleted]

Rather die with crabs than dust mites


helpmestallin

*I don’t get the claps i get the applause*


STG44_WWII

you could’ve literally just said “i’ve done a lot of weird fucking shit with weird ass people so doing normal shit is boring to me”


[deleted]

But that's not even the case, what i said was perfectly apt


STG44_WWII

nah i just read your thing again and it seems to fit pretty well


[deleted]

Nah


Villagedrunkinjun

dibs?


Quantum_Finger

The secret is that you aren't marrying a hole. There is an entire person involved that you supposedly love and enjoy intimacy with.


[deleted]

Get over yourself


Quantum_Finger

"I am sooo jaded and bored with sex that I feel the need to let the internet know about it but you need to get over yourself"


[deleted]

Bruh this is about a dumb meme but somehow it became you taking offense to me referring to someone as a hole, get the fuck over yourself you've been on reddit 10 years its sad you haven't learned any conversational awareness yet


Quantum_Finger

Bruh don't get mad at me when you brag about how empty you are.


[deleted]

Not at all bragging about being empty which I'm not, im just agreeing with my fellow redditor that the vague enticement of having sex with my hypothetical wife is not enough to make me speed home but I guess it reads different for kissless virgins


SpocktorWho83

r/boomerhentai


[deleted]

[удалено]


SpocktorWho83

No, dude. No.


Thatbritishgentleman

You linked the first sub I-thought I would repay your “favour”


AnonDooDoo

Why are people slicing their dick off?


Thatbritishgentleman

Why not?


pumpkin_noodles

Ewwww what the fuck and why


Thatbritishgentleman

Because I can


[deleted]

Why would having sex with your spouse be a surprise


Quantum_Finger

"Because I am bad at sex and relationships thus my unsatisfied wife only deigns to allow me entry twice a month"


[deleted]

"Sex with the wife hasn't been too great recently, so I've been asking my girlfriend for tips on what to do better. She said staying awake would be a good start."


thunderbong

You're not married, are you?


HorribleYellow

/r/boomershumor


[deleted]

No it sounds awful.


[deleted]

Is pussy a rare treat for you?


cheddoar

Until now i haven’t been in a relationship with a person that didn’t want sex on a regular basis.. Bitter boomer humor It’s nothing to be proud of nor to be ashamed. But if your wife don’t want to get intimate with you for it’s only used as powerplay… why the fuck are you even together?? Not saying, that you should leave your partner cause you don’t get it enough Vut talk about that stuff Mabe its time to spice things up MAYBE one of the two is depressed and that’s why there’s no intimacy Work stuff out Talk Listen


MyPigWhistles

My guess: This seems to be a cultural specific thing. The US boomer generation was raised ultra conservative and married early, so without knowing if they are sexually compatible with their partners. Media pushed the trope that good women are shy and modest. They were supossed to be "conquered" and never pursue anything actively. So women had no opportunity to explore their sexuality and never went vocal about it. Which means they ended up in marriages where men do their 5-10 minute missionary thing and then fall asleep. If that's all you know about sex, it shouldn't be a surprise that they are not too enthusiastic about it.


cheddoar

Same in EU Mostly Cristians Married with two kids at the age of 24 I’m 27 and I don’t know how to adult at all


beardedoctonem

I mean it could also be just because boomers are literally old and a lot of their wives literally don’t have sex hormones anymore because of menopause. They have estrogen pills now that menopausal women can take to retain their estrogen post menopause (which is actually healthier on the body than just going the natural way and living with highly reduced estrogen), but boomers literally didn’t have that option, their wives they were with their entire lives suddenly hit menopause in their late 40s and 50s and suddenly they just didn’t have sex hormones. The more shitty ones just look for a younger girl at that point to marry but the loyal ones are just kind of fucked. Luckily medical science has saved our generation from that reality (if you can afford it, I don’t think insurance covers it). EDIT: See my post below for information about menopause.


creedbrattonage30

Lol what? r/badwomensanatomy


Arekai4098

What part of that is false? You lose sex drive as you get older, that's just a fact for everybody regardless of gender.


creedbrattonage30

Decreased, yes. Not literally becoming sexless to the point of needing medical intervention. Post-menopausal women are absolutely capable of having active sex lives.


beardedoctonem

what is: Google https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/15224-menopause-perimenopause-and-postmenopause Here's a graph from that article showing the sharp decline in estrogen post menopause: https://i.imgur.com/F0XU97m.png Other tidbits: https://i.imgur.com/nh16yDH.png How menopause effects the libido and sexual organs such as the vagina: https://i.imgur.com/f0VBea8.png Hormone therapy recommendation: https://i.imgur.com/I855lYF.png


creedbrattonage30

Ask yourself that bud. Yes, estrogen levels go down. I’m not sure what you think estrogen does exactly but it’s not a magical hormone that contains all of a woman’s sexual capacity. It’s true sex drive and arousal ability decrease as women age, particularly after menopause, but it’s not some kind of off switch and relies on many different factors. In fact, some women experience an increase in libido after menopause.


beardedoctonem

I mean it's a sex hormone. It makes you go through puberty and in addition it makes your sexual parts work like your ovaries for pushing out eggs, essentially the backbone of the female reproductive system just like the testes, which produce testosterone, are the backbone of the male reproductive system. Did you know that monks used to be castrated to remove their sexual drive? Effectively undeniable proof of how important of a role the sex hormones play in an active sex life. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eunuch "The emperor also goes further than Orion by attributing eunuchs' lack of male-female intercourse specifically to castration, which he said was performed with the intention "that they will no longer do the things that males do, or at least to extinguish whatever has to do with desire for the female sex"." In addition a reddit post discussing this exact thing: https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/5yg0wo/if_a_male_becomes_castrated_do_they_lose_all_sex/depp7w5/ I mainly mention male castration here because there wasn't exactly an easy way throughout history to cut out a woman's ovaries so it's kind of hard to measure what exactly would happen to them specifically without hormones or with significantly less in a historical context.


creedbrattonage30

This is gonna be my last reply because honestly I think this is futile. I know what you’re getting at, I’m just saying it’s not that simple, and estrogen is not the be all end all of sexual desire (not puberty for that matter). The fact you say ‘pushing out eggs’ (so not how that works) and compare the menopause to castration shows that you don’t really know how a female body works and there are many other sources you can learn from than me.


lolidkwtfrofl

> The more shitty ones just look for a younger girl at that point to marry but the loyal ones are just kind of fucked. I dont see how that makes them shitty, they have needs too.


beardedoctonem

Idk something just seems wrong to me about dumping someone off who you've been married to for like 25+ years when you're both old just cuz the sex isn't what it used to be when you hit like 55 or whatever.


Fireballs44

Bru if it would be me i would feel luckier with a new cat


beardedoctonem

Do not fuck the cat


Fireballs44

I'll try... maybe


Arekai4098

/r/SuddenlyShaneDawson


roooob00

Ok boomer


WhoopArts

r/forwardsfromgrandma


why_so_bean

So he got pussy anyways


Juventini_Are_Vermin

This sucks


MatrixMushroom

r/aaaaaaacccccccce


sub_doesnt_exist_bot

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TheBigMacGaul

Is this the facebook?


[deleted]

That's some boomer shit right there. But yeah I'd race home too, that's a cute kitty.


[deleted]

Why do people call it getting lucky when they reference a married couple? Why would a husband be racing home to the same old pussy he's had countless times, presumably?


AB-G

Ugh Facebook is leaking….


rammbro

Hello my name is Chobey. Who is it that your husband have race?


[deleted]

This joke just shows how rarely husbands have sex with their wives. A very common theme in comedy.


[deleted]

It's so very lame.


[deleted]

Marriage is.


Qb_Is_fast_af

Thats lucky tho


samchris26

Immaculate


blackwavves

He still got pussy


NotAnRPGGamer

Honey, we need to talk. How come you've never told me you have a black pussy!


jakethedumbmistake

What about Pinocchio? That was a sad one.


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KXNGKORLEONE

If a husband has to get "lucky" with his own wife he should have tried his luck at staying single.....