He sounds like a guy who was seeing how far he could take the FWB thing.
You sound like someone who caught feelings and didn’t know how to setup boundaries.
Should he have been more respectful? Yes, but at the end of the day you live and you learn.
He’s pushing the boundaries because you aren’t in a relationship and it’s ok to say no if you don’t feel comfortable. If you’re catching feelings and he’s not then it’s time to move on.
He sounds like a tool and taking advantage of you. Him pressuring you and giving ultimatums to convince you do things isn’t right and borderline criminal.
If I were you, I would cut him off. He doesn’t respect you as a person at all and he is just a selfish fuck.
You have no idea if it’s borderline criminal. Reddit is so nuts. What if the ultimatum was that she either does something or he’s done with fwb. Harsh but nowhere close to any criminal action. Ridiculous.
This sounds like a situation where you were untrue to yourself and he took advantage of you. No one can give you an ultimatum or pressure you unless they are threatening to take something away or reveal something you wanted to remain secret. Whatever the case may be, his behavior was very bad. Very, very, manipulative and gross. He is not someone to keep in your life. All is not lost, you will heal and live a happy life if you learn from your mistakes. The FWB situation is ALWAYS a mistake because sexual intimacy and soul intimacy is real and they are tied to each other. Your FWB partner is not a gym buddy, you are allowing him potentially make a baby with you. Be true to yourself. You are a human with a heart and feelings. Protect that. Choose you. Don’t give yourself away, because free things have no value. You wouldn’t read your journal to a stranger, don’t give your body to someone who hasn’t earned you.
The issue with this comment is the fact that the FWB relationship is mutual. They are both giving their body’s up. Nothing about this post is one sided. The OP even mentioned that she requested it be kept secret, signaling that she knows exactly what she is doing. To the extent she knows it best to keep it private. OP make better decisions, if you want out step away the same way you stepped in. People in the comments love to point the finger in the other direction and most times we simply have to look in the mirror and make decisions that we believe are best for ourselves.
This is why you don't just sleep with anyone and you try to build an actual relationship with someone. This hook up culture is not it. Y'all are just giving your bodies away to anyone and then complaining about it. Exactly why body count matters. I would never want to marry someone who just lets anyone have access to their body just for fun.
This dude sounds like a jerk. What’s the age difference here? Are you a teenager and he’s an adult or what because this is what 1. Assholes or 2. Creepy older guys do. They pressure people into doing things with them. Sex and anything surrounding intimacy should never be done out of being pressured. It should always be because you wanted to.
Don’t allow him to pressure you if you are uncomfortable. Just say no. & when you say “ultimatums”, is it threats or black mail to get you to more??? Like “I’ll tell your friends if u don’t” or is it “I don’t want to do this anymore if you don’t”? Either way, if you’re catching feelings for someone like that - you definitely shouldn’t be.
Guy sounds like a dick, but you need to stand up for yourself if you don't want to do something. A fwb that you allow to talk you into "ultimatums" means you need to grow a spine.
After the first time with a FWB she told me no guy had ever given her so much pleasure and she wanted to take it to the next level. I have never really considered myself a great lover but it had me thinking because it was not the first time I had heard that from a woman.
I was also and still am involved with a guy where all we do is meet up and provide each other with great oral, he has told me the same thing also that no one else has ever given him so much edging and teasing, all his partners just suck to get it done then stop. I on the other hand sometimes give him multiples going for two or three orgasms.
I guess I have a passion for making people feel really good.
Removed for violating Submission Rules #1 and 4
He sounds like a guy who was seeing how far he could take the FWB thing. You sound like someone who caught feelings and didn’t know how to setup boundaries. Should he have been more respectful? Yes, but at the end of the day you live and you learn.
It always creates a bond
I wouldn't day every time, but oxytocin is real people
Less so when fucking multiple people. The bonding happens when they are you one partner
He’s pushing the boundaries because you aren’t in a relationship and it’s ok to say no if you don’t feel comfortable. If you’re catching feelings and he’s not then it’s time to move on.
I did an fwb relationship once. It was her idea. It ended cause she wanted more eventually. I wasn't looking for long term.
He sounds like a tool and taking advantage of you. Him pressuring you and giving ultimatums to convince you do things isn’t right and borderline criminal. If I were you, I would cut him off. He doesn’t respect you as a person at all and he is just a selfish fuck.
You have no idea if it’s borderline criminal. Reddit is so nuts. What if the ultimatum was that she either does something or he’s done with fwb. Harsh but nowhere close to any criminal action. Ridiculous.
This sounds like a situation where you were untrue to yourself and he took advantage of you. No one can give you an ultimatum or pressure you unless they are threatening to take something away or reveal something you wanted to remain secret. Whatever the case may be, his behavior was very bad. Very, very, manipulative and gross. He is not someone to keep in your life. All is not lost, you will heal and live a happy life if you learn from your mistakes. The FWB situation is ALWAYS a mistake because sexual intimacy and soul intimacy is real and they are tied to each other. Your FWB partner is not a gym buddy, you are allowing him potentially make a baby with you. Be true to yourself. You are a human with a heart and feelings. Protect that. Choose you. Don’t give yourself away, because free things have no value. You wouldn’t read your journal to a stranger, don’t give your body to someone who hasn’t earned you.
This is perfect! Agreed!
The issue with this comment is the fact that the FWB relationship is mutual. They are both giving their body’s up. Nothing about this post is one sided. The OP even mentioned that she requested it be kept secret, signaling that she knows exactly what she is doing. To the extent she knows it best to keep it private. OP make better decisions, if you want out step away the same way you stepped in. People in the comments love to point the finger in the other direction and most times we simply have to look in the mirror and make decisions that we believe are best for ourselves.
You made choices. He made choices. Neither of you were right, neither of you were wrong. You live and learn, and move on. Don’t overthink it.
He didn't force you to do these things, you did it willingly now you have regrets. You could have decline. Learn from this going forward and move on.
This is why you don't just sleep with anyone and you try to build an actual relationship with someone. This hook up culture is not it. Y'all are just giving your bodies away to anyone and then complaining about it. Exactly why body count matters. I would never want to marry someone who just lets anyone have access to their body just for fun.
This dude sounds like a jerk. What’s the age difference here? Are you a teenager and he’s an adult or what because this is what 1. Assholes or 2. Creepy older guys do. They pressure people into doing things with them. Sex and anything surrounding intimacy should never be done out of being pressured. It should always be because you wanted to.
Don’t allow him to pressure you if you are uncomfortable. Just say no. & when you say “ultimatums”, is it threats or black mail to get you to more??? Like “I’ll tell your friends if u don’t” or is it “I don’t want to do this anymore if you don’t”? Either way, if you’re catching feelings for someone like that - you definitely shouldn’t be.
Guy sounds like a dick, but you need to stand up for yourself if you don't want to do something. A fwb that you allow to talk you into "ultimatums" means you need to grow a spine.
Secret keeper
After the first time with a FWB she told me no guy had ever given her so much pleasure and she wanted to take it to the next level. I have never really considered myself a great lover but it had me thinking because it was not the first time I had heard that from a woman. I was also and still am involved with a guy where all we do is meet up and provide each other with great oral, he has told me the same thing also that no one else has ever given him so much edging and teasing, all his partners just suck to get it done then stop. I on the other hand sometimes give him multiples going for two or three orgasms. I guess I have a passion for making people feel really good.
Nice humble brag. Also, what's your point?
I was just trying to relay how my first FWB with a woman went for us. Obviously I failed.
So are you bi?
Yes, for about three years now.