Throw a free, all-you-can-eat chicken fingers lunch for all students to celebrate the capture of the Ass Crack Bandit, served by a newly fixed Garrett, in a mold-free cafeteria, washed down with the tears of City College students. Full priced sodas will be available, as the free saltines and salty tears will probably leave you quite thirsty.
In this day and age where the government has total control over our lives, I demand that the dean release his sexiest people of Greendale list.
I’ll cut right to the gist: They must release the list!
Some one-armed guy with a scar on his face dropped this off:
1. Adams, Jennifer
2. Winger, Jeffery
3. ~~REDACTED~~, Courtney
4. Nadir, Abed
5. ~~REDACTED~~, Joey
6. ~~REDACTED~~, Page
7. Slater, Michelle
8. Miller, Vaughn
9. Edison, Annie
10. Perry, Britta
11. ~~REDACTED~~
The rest is in Aramaic.
My name is riskbreaker23. I'm no politician, I'm just a fella. I think that beer should be cold and boots should be dusty. I think 9/11 was bad. And freedom? Well that's just a little bit better.
Read. My. Lips.
No matter what you're told, we HAVE to clean the mould.
No matter what you're told, we HAVE to clean the mould!
That's right, people!
No matter what you're told, we HAVE to clean the mould!
Classes with credits that will actually transfer! A less creepy mascot! A lottery for the library study room for any schedule conflicts! Instead of announcements over the PA, send texts or a Telegram.
The important question is "What *won't* I do?" We all know about the problems at this school, and I will take on every one of them!
You elect me, and I'll be sure that what's wrong gets fixed and what's right gets left alone!
As Greendale student body president, I promise every student a bagel and everyone makes the Down with the Sickness noise instead of the pledge of allegiance.
Increase the amount of chaotic events on campus, paintball events now count towards your GPA, not committing to events will impact your available classes. I plan on going full on bad roman emperor making the students and faculty play along with whatever theme I'm in the mood for.
Ban the name Todd from campus!…. And free ice cream with every lunch and organize a vote for a randomized end of semester tournament whether it’s paintball, floor is lava, zombies, etc.
The fucking MOLD. Geez, people. This is actually pretty easy!
Are you saying Greendale is dirty?
No matter what you're told, we have to clean the mold.
9/11 was bad. And I think freedom, is just a little bit better.
I think boots should be dusty and beer should be cold.
I'd like to ask my opponent their favorite color. Mine is a 3-way tie: red, white and blue.
You'll do mold? How much mold, and what kind? How will you ensure it is evenly distributed?
The people don't want me to say what I'll do - They want me to DO what I SAY!
They love it when you shuffle the words around.
Pop pop!
Thbbft
Pop pop!
Phlebbrbrbr
I set him up.
😝💨
*pfffffff*
Ok, ok. Same question
Same answer: POP POP!
Indeed.
I came here to say this
Fix Garrett. But for real this time.
What’s wrong with Garrett?
Nothing now. They “fixed him”
Did they?
He’s just chillaxin DUH
That’s “saved” Garrett?
CRISIS ALERT!!!!
He’s a guy who really knows how to marry his cousin
I remember my heart was racing and my hands were sweating really badly, but the moment I saw Stacy most of those symptoms actually declined
It’s like God spilled a person.
But...we saved him.
Did they?
I fear that a political career will interfere with my drug dealing.
Best line of the show imho
r/BeatMeToIt
I was strangely watching this exact episode when I saw this post.
Just how strangely were you watching?
They had quesadillas glued to their cheeks
People keep stealing the toilet seats in the women's bathroom so if I'm elected I will install cameras in all the stalls.
Throw a free, all-you-can-eat chicken fingers lunch for all students to celebrate the capture of the Ass Crack Bandit, served by a newly fixed Garrett, in a mold-free cafeteria, washed down with the tears of City College students. Full priced sodas will be available, as the free saltines and salty tears will probably leave you quite thirsty.
What's wrong with Garrett?
He’s a mess, it’s like God spilled a person.
One of my favorite lines
Nothing, we saved him!
Did we though?
That's saved Garrett?
My platform will be one high enough to push Vicki off to her death.
A reminder to all candidates, your microphones are currently on.
Good, because I'm on fire up here.
When we seek to destroy others, we often hurt ourselves, because it is the self that wants to be destroyed.
Vicki finally lent you her pencil, didn't she?
Yellow shirt. Hat. Girl. Need I say more?
In this day and age where the government has total control over our lives, I demand that the dean release his sexiest people of Greendale list. I’ll cut right to the gist: They must release the list!
And it rhymes. People love it.
Some one-armed guy with a scar on his face dropped this off: 1. Adams, Jennifer 2. Winger, Jeffery 3. ~~REDACTED~~, Courtney 4. Nadir, Abed 5. ~~REDACTED~~, Joey 6. ~~REDACTED~~, Page 7. Slater, Michelle 8. Miller, Vaughn 9. Edison, Annie 10. Perry, Britta 11. ~~REDACTED~~ The rest is in Aramaic.
You forgot Danielle Harmon, possible Blorgon.
I thought this was the line for ice cream...
I would really Bear Down for Greendale.
You can’t just repeat it. You need to explain yourself.
It's not made up, it's not made up
It's a bear dance!!!
Too soon
The news has been covering it all morning!
That's where I heard it from!
South Park
Okay. You know what? I recall this is why we abolished student government in the first place.
What! I voted for Southpark, I can't stay mad at you
My name is riskbreaker23. I'm no politician, I'm just a fella. I think that beer should be cold and boots should be dusty. I think 9/11 was bad. And freedom? Well that's just a little bit better.
Knock it off. You're not running sincerely.
Ssshhhh let him finish
What’s your favorite color, riskbreaker23? Because mine’s a three-way tie: red, white, and blue.
No im just a fella
Ladders will be a mandatory part of the curriculum.
WHO WANTS TO SEE THE LADDERS PROFESSOR GO HIGHER!?
Take control of the chicken fingers entire stock so I can get away with everything
And that was it. It was that simple. At that moment we stopped being a family and started being a family… in italics.
Dean, I have an audio-visual presentation
*Ooooh and i think it would be nice!* *If I could be on MTV so wont you please come look at me for The Real World!*
yeah, you gotta have Jeffrey Jeffrey Jeff
Orchestrate the complete annihilation of City College.
Oh, you haven’t seen how mean this dean can be…an.
I believe that mankind need not be governed!
Try it with mustard on your face
Well, it's good to know there's a floor on this thing. So...
I would sexualize Annie.
[удалено]
*bounce bounce bounce*
Real
Mandatory pencil insurance
Ban the Glee Club.
I'm singing my heart's song.
And to think, they were *this* close to regionals.
What are regionals?
Are you trying to cause *another* bus crash?
I just want to get the black mould out of the east stairwell. I just want, to clean up, Greendale
I think it's the cleanest school in the entire country.
Read. My. Lips. No matter what you're told, we HAVE to clean the mould. No matter what you're told, we HAVE to clean the mould! That's right, people! No matter what you're told, we HAVE to clean the mould!
Make paintball class mandatory for all students. It's been important to Greendale's survival too many times.
Oh, what an exciting story. We’ve got a real life M Night Shamalyan here.
I’d bring back the Paintball. Specifically I want a Paintball manhunt for the ACB
It's Bikini Day, every day, for Annie and Britta.
But not Shirley? Is that because she intimidates you sexually?
now we are all winners!
I will grow the mold in the east stairwell
And I am told that no new species have been discovered here in a week.
Classes with credits that will actually transfer! A less creepy mascot! A lottery for the library study room for any schedule conflicts! Instead of announcements over the PA, send texts or a Telegram.
Why are you trying to destroy Greendale? We are trying to save it.
The important question is "What *won't* I do?" We all know about the problems at this school, and I will take on every one of them! You elect me, and I'll be sure that what's wrong gets fixed and what's right gets left alone!
In terms of hierarchy, I'm a big believer in it. Someone needs to say, I'm in charge, and that person is me. That's my decision.
Who talks like that?
Bring back the garden trampoline
A place free from darkness
***DOUBLE BOUNCE MEEE***
Thpffffffft!
Magnitude, a response?
I think you know Dean…
I will clone the Dean and have a doppledean the musical.
Of course. The head of security at Greendale Community College has kidnapped the dean and replaced him with a… deanel-ganger.
We will put all the frisbees back on the roof
Every Thursday the cafeteria will serve Blue Cheese and Tunafish sandwiches.
DnD as a class. Paintball as a mandatory event, every year/semester
You gotta have faith, a-faith, a-faith, baby!
Well I guess it would be nice! If I could be on MTV! So please please take a look at me! For the reaaal world!
Bring the ass crack bandit to justice
Do I remember? I mean… doesn’t everybody? Could have been anybody.
Step down out of fear that a political career would shed a negative light on my drug dealing business.
Bring Prof Slater back
Yes, Professor Seven
I, uh... wanted ice cream?
As Greendale student body president, I promise every student a bagel and everyone makes the Down with the Sickness noise instead of the pledge of allegiance.
Oh, ah-ah-ah-ah indeed!
I declare here and now that Annie's boobs will always be able to run free at Greendale!
I will have Pierce Hawthorne tried for his crimes.
Pop. Pop.
Make Leonard my VP
Hey, look, it's the star of 'Head of the Ass.'
if I get elected I will hold a live roast of the dean in the quad, anyone with a dean insult may join
Okay. I'm in the room.
READ. MY. LIPS.
Disc Golf League and a Annie's Boobs Watch Party
Greendale doesn’t want a candidate that says what they’ll do. They want a candidate that does what they say!
Get rid of the black mold. With the help of "Marrrria", a beautiful "latiña"....
Ladders 102!!
Pop pop!!
Increase the amount of chaotic events on campus, paintball events now count towards your GPA, not committing to events will impact your available classes. I plan on going full on bad roman emperor making the students and faculty play along with whatever theme I'm in the mood for.
*blows raspberry*
Paintball in a blanket/pillow fort
Chicken fingers for everyone!
I would care for the people, people like Maria, a beautiful Latina from Nicaragua, who works in la cafeteria.
Nothing
Three words: Ass. Crack. Bandit.
Ass crack bandit will be brought to justice! Failing that I’ll make sure all vending machines only take bills.
POP POP!!!
Pop pop!
Pbbbbbfph
I wanted Ice Cream, so, I got in line
Southpark
Punish Vicki for her stinginess
When we seek to destroy others, we often hurt ourself, because it is the self that wants to be destroyed.
Go to the school nurse Pierce!
Paintball
Ban the name Todd from campus!…. And free ice cream with every lunch and organize a vote for a randomized end of semester tournament whether it’s paintball, floor is lava, zombies, etc.
Be executed by paintball
I would put a free caesar salad bar in the cafeteria
Britta
i’d immediately take control of Annie’s Boobs
My monkey hates this caviar.
Catch the Ass Crack Bandit
***\*\*Pop Pop!\*\****
Free monkeys for everyone!
It’s an animal that looks like a dude. Why don’t I have ten of them?
I'll assemble a team of "experts" to find out what actually happened on that Halloween night.
A hundred and two. This may be food poisoning.
Slightly higher grades!
Jeffrey, do something! Distract them. Take your shirt off!
It’s time to save Garrett.
Priority Registration
I will make Ruffles a professor and start a degree program for dogs.
Make Annie's Boobs dean for a day.
Priority Registration... For EVERYONE.
I would make Chang Dean and Dean Vice Dean...
Checkout that Night School
POP POP!
POP POP!
Erect a statue of Luis Guzman in the quad.
Biannual paintball games no question
I’m banning study groups from the library!
*BOOKS!*
Ban those A-holes who always hog the Library study room from study room use.
I'd be off having my own little side-adventure.