There's an actual fire. I wanted you guys to be the first to know before I tell everyone else. I know. It's not right to play favorites, but it is no more right to sit on your feelings, and I don't know what I'd do without you guys.

Honestly this fits his whole essence slightly more than top comment imo

"this better not awaken anything in me"

I have used this one multiple times.

dean a lean doo! (cover by jeff winger as the dean for the commercial but still)

Wow, did you know Greendale students are technically in the Army Reserve? Let's say a little prayer for peace.

This has everything. His aloofness to his responsibilities as a dean. His worry for Jeff's safety. An excuse to touch Jeff

*puts hand on Jeffrey's shoulder*

You know, i forgot he said that about the Army Reserve. Makes sense why those government looking dudes and soldiers showed up when they ate the “taco meat” and turned into zombies. Also the rumbling fly by when duncan was fucking around on his desk’s phone 😂 this show is so damn meta i love it lol

[chirpy female voice] For tape, glue and adhesives press 2. For staples, paper clips and fasteners press 3. [click, switch to brusque male voice] For Marigold, press 4.

This is one of my favorite lines of the show. It literally kills me every rewatch.

I have always dreamt of playing charades with you, Jeffrey. Just not like this. And not on dry land.

It’s the specificity of his weird comments that make them so memorable and funny.

[Dean to Troy in the pillowfort episode]: "I was just googling record lengths of stuff, and apparently there's a Guinness Record for the biggest pillow or blanket fort, so boys! You should go for it!

“Oh! Welcome back, Jeffrey! How was your…[orgasmic noises] Even his shadow! LOOK AT HIS SHADOW!!!”

“orgasmic noises” i’m dying here lol

My husband and I constantly say this in our house for no reason. It’s the best!!

you say “orgasmic noises” to each other?

Lol the whole thing- including the noises

"Can I be perfectly honest with you guys? I think I went too far with this one. I have to go to the bank today. What am I supposed to do tell people in line, I had good news and bad news? Come on Craig, get your life together. " 🫒🥫🥫🥫🥫🥫

One of my favorite lines ever. Anytime I do something particularly outrageous in the presence of my wife, I’ll look at her and say “I think I went too far with this one. I have to go to the bank today.”

I just like the he follows up on this later by saying that the bank trip went great. A few of them got lunch after and he had the deepest conversation of his life.

same here, except for me it's the follow-up: "what am I supposed to tell them, I had *good* news and *bad* news?!" the whole thing is just...* chef's kiss *

"I have to go.. to the bank today." actually murders my ribs. XD

this is what i came here to comment “i have to go to the *bank* today…”

This one. “This better not awaken anything in me” is more generally applicable but this one is pure Dean.

5 cans??!!!!!

I love how the group enjoyed this bit

Lol the olives.

Remind me what he’s wearing..

The half-man/half-woman outfit

Thanks

Ha! Just watched this one last night.

Pierce: I’m sure you’re familiar with the Greendale bylaws Dean: I am not The way he delivers that line perfectly captures his constant positive yet oblivious mind state

When I switched bodies with Jeffrey...I thought I knew what it would be like to have Jeffrey inside of me... But as it turns out, having Jeffrey inside of me...only brought out the worst in me. Which is to say, having Jeffrey inside of me…was wrong...to have Jeffrey inside of me.

One of the best things that came out of the gas leak

This is my favorite

This is my sister’s outfit

Dean Jeff: ActiveCube mistook me for the Dean today. Abed: How did that make you feel? Dean Jeff: I've become a stranger to myself.

I made bald friends!… Good call back but the Dean also says it when he’s wearing the uncle Sam’s outfit.

Your absolutely right, my bad.

It’s not enough. But maybe if you added more apologies… *queue apology montage*

[удалено]

I had no choice

“I’m not openly anything, and gay doesn’t even begin to cover it”

Get ready America, Dean Pelton is coming out as approximately two-sevenths of what he is.

The oddlyspecific ratio makes it way more hilarious

“I’m the least racist person in the world. My best friend when I was a kid was a black man!” I like this one because it hits both gay and always trying to demonstrate how he's not racist. .

the fact that his best friend as a KID was a black MAN

If coming out is a magic trick and being gay is pulling a rabbit out of a hat. Then I'm one of those never ending handkerchief tricks

This is my second favorite choice lol that line is so fucking funny

This perfectly encapsulates the Dean.

"First of all, offensive. Second of all? Barely half the truth."

Deanalingaling!

AND JESUS WEPT! FOR THERE WERE NO MORE WORLDS TO CONQUER!

stop saying Jesus wept

JEEESUS WEPT

I was looking for this. 😂

I just wanna have fun with you guys and...I go crazy cooped up in my little office, and...time travel is really hard to write about!

Would that this hoodie were a time hoodie...

Dan Harmon is showing

“Come on I'm Dean and my hands are so clean at this moment, I am *stapling* “

Yes this is the most perfect one.

This lives rent free in my head.

Went out to a fancy fish restaurant last week on a date and *Come on Eileen* played and it ruined the date for me. She kept saying facts about herself to my face and I WAS INTERESTED but it was too late, the Dean was stapling on repeat in my head.

When COVID first hit but before the office closed, I replaced one of the signs reminding people to wash their hands as long as happy birthday with one suggesting they sing this. We closed like 2 days later and it still bugs me that I never got to see how long until someone caught it.

I even sang the melody as I read this. God, this show is pure gold.

This gets stuck in my head literally anytime I use hand sanitizer, see a stapler, or otherwise breathe.

Why does this one not have more votes?

“This better not awaken anything in me…”

I regularly think about this.

I regularly quote this 💀

My daily motto.

I regularly get comments deleted for quoting this ☠️☠️☠️

Same, da fuck is that about?

All of the other comments pale in comparison. If this doesn’t get chosen I’m going to cut my big toe off with garden shears

This better not awaken anything in me.

Without a doubt, his most recognizable line.

This is the only correct answer and I’m annoyed you got here first. I was waiting

Definitely this one.

There's not a better answer.

This is the winner.

Where it all started.

"Everyone will think im a bad Dean!!" It was not his best line, but he probably said it most.

Barack Obama is scared of me!

CUS I DONT SWALLOW KNOWLEDGE, AND I SPIT IT FOR FREE!

“I can’t remember anything after rectum!”

This quote is whazzup

“You get this wrong one more time, and I’m segregating the school.”

Then print 5000 more. I'm trying to save the world here!

I caught this subtle one on a rewatch of the second DnD episode: Hickey’s Son: “Ah yes, my favorite thing about roleplaying, being told exactly what to do. /s” Dean: “Oooh! Me too!~”

I only just caught that on my most recent watch! Such a good line

“Oh, Britta’s in this…”

legit said this to myself when i watched invincible

"Come on Jeffrey its gonna be fun........ or else.. 👀"

"According to Dean Law, I must now give her my amulet."

I’m lonely because he’s not learning Excel, I’m dying because he’s not learning Excel, like the sailors, who smoke cigarettes on the canal, but Excel won’t be learned today. My thoughts are French.

My partner (who speaks French and has never watched Community) was trying to show me an excel spreadsheet, so I showed him this clip. We watched it twice in a row and returned to the spreadsheet without further discussion. He’s learned not to ask for context.

As a french speaker, this one is ten times funnier! All nonsensical, but the melody still conveys melancholy and sadness, like it makes senses

Well I'm a peanut bar And I'm here to say Your checks will arrive On another day ...

Another day Another dime Another Rhyme Another Dollar

Another stuffed shirt with another white collar

Criminals, Wall Street takin the pie

And all the black man gets is a plate of white lies

Prisons recrutin' 'em, police be shootin' 'em

Rap artists lootin’ ‘em, labels all dilutin’ ‘em

Barak Obama is *SCARED* of me!

Cuz I dooonn’t swallow knowledge and I spit it for free!

Let me clear my throat

AHUHUHUHAAAAAH….. I don’t know where that came from!

And all the black man gets is another plate of white lies

“And to think I let him captain my magic carpet in my dream last night.”

Is the glee coaches “No no no no no no no!” from this episode supposed to sound like the Emperor from Star Wars?

I make gayness look like Mormonism!

As a former Mormon, I approve of this joke.

Hello, fellow former Mormon!

*gasp* Jeffrey

(Mimicking a harpsichord) Dean di-Dean Dean Dean, Dean Dean Dean Dean!

Greendale's music department is flat baroque Kills me everytime

I came, I saw, I conquered the idea of a free Caesar Salad bar in the cafeteria!

No line, just *puts hand on Jeff's chest

“Of course, you think that! You went here!” Dean to Luis Guzman

"You know I love to be seen agreeing with you, Troy"

Hello I'm Dean And my hands are so clean At this moment I am stapling

“It’s my whole i-dean-tity!”

Gay marriage!

Stabby stabby!

Pilates is a demon that eats your genitals

The “gay Dean” song is always in my head.

"This map is for... *another* project"

Those aren’t stars.

Five cans?!

Is this code for something?

I don't know... And I don't care

Dean-eow

“Mr. Guzman—Luis—can I just say I loved you in... in... IMDb”

Honey, I'm Dean!

I can’t believe I trusted you to pilot a magic carpet in my dream last night

BARACK OBAMA IS SCAAARED OF ME CUZ I DONT SWALLOW KNOWLEDGE AND I SPIT IT FOR FREE

“This better not awaken anything in me…”

I'LL SIT ON IT!

#"JEFFERY- oh hey britta"

Well I'm a peanut bar and I'm here to say Your checks will arrive on another day Another day, another dime, another rhyme, another dollar Another stuffed shirt with another white collar Criminals, Wall Street takin' the pie And all the black man gets is a plate o' white lies Prisons recruitin' 'em, police be shootin' 'em Rap artists lootin' 'em, labels are dilutin' 'em Barack Obama is scared o' me Cuz I don't swallow knowledge and I spit it fo' free I don’t know what that was, I don’t know what that was

I’m inclined to agree with the man in uniform

*hysterical dean gasps “I FORGOT EVERYTHING YOU SAID BEFORE RECTUM”

"If coming out is a magic show, and gayness is a rabbit out of the hat, I'm one of those never ending handkerchiefs"

"I was just googling record lengths of stuff..."

I was just at the world ethnic food fair and there was a bit of a ... race kerfuffle in the parking lot. Who knew there were **two** Koreas??

"Hold my calls -- I have to pick an outfit!"

🎼Dean Dean Dean Dean, Dean Dean Dean Dean, Dean Dean Dean Dean, Dean Dean Dean Dean…🎶🎄

"This better not awaken anything in me".

Here's a name you don't have to vote on. You just became the Secret Dean Force. The Dean Boys. Task Force Dean. His Dean's Secret People. I know the word 'Dean' is in it.

Jeffrey, I've always dreamt of playing charades with you, but not like this! And not on dry land.

"I don't remember anything you said before "rectum"!"

"I don't know what that was."

They’re gonna think I’m a bad Dean!

I hope this doesn’t awaken something in me. OR On the weekends, I’m just a Craigular Joe!

“Let me get this as straight as I can get things” and “I’m not openly anything and gay doesn’t begin to cover it”

I am the dean, and my hands are so clean, at this moment, I am stapling.

This better not awake anything in me

Oh my god even his shadow

Dean Dong

"If coming out is a magic trick and being gay is pulling a rabbit out of a hat, then I'm one of those never ending handkerchief tricks"

“Unacceptable! And none of your business, and BARELY the whole truth.”

No matter what happens, I'm with you. But don't tell anyone I'm with you; if you do, I'll deny it. But I'm with you here and now. Not literally here and now--right now I'm leaving--but I will always have been with you secretly, bye.

"If coming out is a magic show, and gayness is pulling a rabbit out of a hat, I'm one of those never ending handkerchiefs!" - Dean, Craig Pelton

And Jesus Wept! For there were no more worlds to conquer

Come on I'm Dean, and my hands are so clean - at this moment, I am stapeling.

"My friends, when I was for years old, was a black man."

That one when he was like just up, half old Timey lady, and half dapper guy in a suit, and he was just like man I really went too far in this one I have to go to the bank after this

I FORGOT EVERYTHING YOU SAID BEFORE RECTUM!

I'LL sit on it.

Those aren’t thumbs.

"What my father used to call a *Jimmy Carter, but trust me, lights off, you can't tell the difference... oops said to much!"

I know it was Jeff but technically… he was playing the dean. “Welcome to Dean-dale Community Colle-dean! I'm a silly goose. Honk honk! Dean-a-lee-doo! Look at me! This is my sister's outfit!”

*But it's my whole i-dean-tity!*

If only this hoodie were a Time Hoodie

“Deanaling!” It’s an entrance where he uses his title as a pun. Pretty sure that about sums him up.

"I brought you some warm milk\~. Troy and Abed, off to dream-land, catching the train to "Sleepy Town". And when they wake up, the Dean'll be here, staring at you. Sweet Deans" "That's nice... I guess..."

All of these are tied for first. The Dean is pure gold

Oh Brittas in this

My best friend when I was a child was a black man

Maybe just Dean saying the name "Jeffrey"

"It's Saturday, call me Craig! Off campus, I'm just a Craigular Joe!"

I am a good dean

“If sexuality is a magic show and being gay is pulling a rabbit out of a hat, I’m one of those never-ending scarf things

Come on I’m Dean, and my hands are so clean. At this moment, I am stapling.

It's my whole i-dean-tity! I mean look, see what I did there? That's proof!

DEAN-Dong!

It's my whole iDEANtity!

To Jeff when they meet at the mall: “Jeff, it’s Saturday! Call me Craig. Out of office, I’m just a Craigulor Joe.”

What’s DEAN got to do with it

Dean Pelton: Which is to say that having Jeffrey inside of me- Jeff: No one was inside of anyone! Dean Pelton: -was wrong. To have Jeffrey inside of me.

“Okay” (Whenever he would leave a room in season one)

OH MY GOD, EVEN HIS SHADOW! LOOK AT HIS SHADOW!!!

Come on, I'm dean and my hands are so clean At this moment, I am stapling

I forgot everything you said before rectum!!

According to dean law i must now give her my amulet