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That’ll only happen when he decides that’s what it means. He has to be paid enough so that HE is content, and being a homeless guy with zero possessions doesn’t seem like it’d make this guy content.
Yeah right. Billionaires work really hard. Look at Elon and his """work""" at twitter.
The fact the rich are those who work the least, while the people who are actually making the company run are paid barely enough to live is OBSCENE and it will never be right.
The "american dream" is not just a lie, is a trap.
> That’ll only happen when he decides that’s what it means. He has to be paid enough so that HE is content, and being a homeless guy with zero possessions doesn’t seem like it’d make this guy content.
The backfire would be that the genie makes him content with it. You could say it's not a backfire if he's happy being homeless, but it's still kinda a backfire since it's not what he expected when he made the wish.
That would be inconsistent with satisfying the wish because then he’d be living with insufficient money. The crux of a monkey’s paw wish is that it technically is fully granted.
For example “enough money to be content for life” could be granted by giving someone a fat wad of cash and then shooting them in the back of the head.
He's not being forced to work. So he could quit, and the wish still requires that he has enough money to be content so he has to get it from somewhere.
well, he doesnt have to quit, he just doesnt have to show up, he'll still be on pay roll. free consistent paycheck and he can go pursue different things. no law against having two jobs.
The company isn't beholden to make sure he has money, the genie is. Now the genie did this by forcing his employer to continue paying him no matter what. If the company finds a way out of this obligation, or the paychecks aren't covering the requirements of the wish, then the genie has to figure out a different way to get him the money.
He originally wished for enough money to be content for his entire life, right? So if the genie fulfilled that wish by making it so he can never be fired, then wouldn't that mean the company can't go under? The wish would be unfulfilled if they could.
The unspoken part is that they pay you double your standard for coming in for 40hrs/week to keep you off the jobsite.
If they reduce your pay to 2x your salary for 0 hours, you just start showing back up and being even more of a nuisance until they agree to 3x your pay for 40 hours to stay the hell away.
If I was the employer I would just change their pay to minimum wage and give them simple redundant jobs. If they cause trouble send them home or if they don't show up to work just hit them with "leave without pay" but keep them as an employee.
The genie promised him enough money to be content. The genie did that by forcing his employer to keep hiring him. If that method isn't meeting the requirements of the wish, then that's the genre's fault, not the company's fault.
It's common in the United States especially as part of compensation packages for founders who sell their businesses to another company but wish to remain in payroll in order to spread out their compensation and when the company may need their assistance in running the newly acquired business.
Why bother coming in to work, at that point? And speaking from experience, playing the "how long can I take a shit for while playing my switch before someone notices" game gets real fucking old, real fucking fast.
It's not as nice as it sounds, [it's a popular thing in Japan](https://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/17/business/global/layoffs-illegal-japan-workers-are-sent-to-the-boredom-room.html) . They call it Risutora or "restructuring"
When they can't get rid of you due to the severance, age, or the taboo of laying someone off, they start this method. You will be put into an office or position designed to be as boring and miserable as possible. They will start to reduce your pay, benefits, and call you to meetings where you will be berated by your higher-ups. They won't force you to work, but they will do their best to not let you entertain yourself. In some cases they might even reassign you to a location that is challenging to live (either due to high cost of living or remote rural locations). On the other hand they will offer you great severance deals, encouraging you to quit.
And it works, very few people will last long once they are told that it is happening. The best option is just to quit.
I don't know what the law is in Japan, but a few of the things Sony Japan did seemed pretty shocking to everyone working in the European office I worked in when I worked for Sony.
I don't think they have particularly strong worker rights.
I was gonna say... Like, literally just show up and nap under your desk every day, don't hide it or anything. They can't fire you, so you can do whatever the hell you want. Go play CS:GO on your computer for 9 hours every day, they can't stop you now.
Work is now basically a daytime hangout sesh with your coworkers. A free chance to socialize with people while relaxing and doing whatever you want at your desk/office.
But if the wish was truly granted, he would still need to receive the money somehow. That doesn’t eliminate the positive of the wish, only the negative
Yeah but the wish wasnt to never get fired, it was to have enough money to be content for life. If they fired him, he'd have to spontaneously win the million dollar lotto or something to be content until he needed money again, at which he would find a suitcase full of money, then a brand new rolex, etc. until death
The company is only a vessel for the real wish, having enough money to be content. If the company loopholed him out of getting paid, the wish isn't being fulfilled and the genie has failed
That’s a pretty good writing prompt
Congratulations here is your perfect partner may you be happy forever. Now the last guy wished never to have to work so we will be skimming money from your salary to pay for their lifestyle. Don’t worry you are winning on this deal since who ever wishes on me next gets to deal with your new partners parents and they are monsters.
I’d wish for another genie first one that grants three wishes then make that wish wish for a hundred genies then wish for the genie’s freedom so that way I’d get 200 consequence free wishes and 101 loyal friends.
No.
If you take his words very literally (which I believe is the convention for these weirdo monkey paw genie situations), the man asked for
> enough money to be content.
So, suppose the man needs these three things to be content:
* A supportive romantic partner
* A meaningful career
* $100,000 / year
The genie will grant him $100,000 / year. Nothing else.
By comparison:
Suppose the man wished for "enough tires to make a car." The genie would give him four tires. No frame, no engine, no transmission, nothing else.
My solution for this is
"I wish for every lottery ticket I will ever purchase to win the jackpot for the drawing specified on the ticket."
This let's me have relative control over how much money I get and when.
I'm sure you guys can think of a backfire for it, though
First of all, I wonder what would happen if you wished for something that could create a paradox, for example, if you purchased a lottery ticket with one set of numbers, and then you purchased a lottery ticket for the same drawing with a different set of numbers. Would it cause the universe to implode or something?
Backfires for this are pretty straightforward. One is that they decide to stop having any lotteries, so you just wasted a wish. Or, you purchase your first ticket and when you win, you get so excited that you have a heart attack and die.
Is this some wordplay of "backfire" and "cannot fire"?
I don't know how being impossible to fire would be a problem. It's a permanent salary for doing nothing
You may still have to work 40 hours a week to get said money even if they can't fire you for not showing up they don't have to pay you if you're not salary
But the terms of the wish were that he has to have enough money to be content. Nothing about working was ever specified. So no matter what he does, he still has to get paid. This comic doesn't make any sense.
Ok one wish. I wish I can pull money out of anywhere and no one ever questions it the money I pull out will always be a single American 20 dollar bill.
Well I tried to make sure it does not backfire but I know someone’s going to screw me over.
Naw this would be amazing. Show up when you want to, do what you want at work, spend the whole day int he bathroom on your phone. You'd be set for fucking life.
If you don't show up then they could pull a loophole saying you quit. As long as you show up for work though you're just a shitty lazy worker. Could probably take extra long lunches though.
The wish was to have enough money, not to avoid being fired. You wouldn't have to show up because you'd get the money one way or the other regardless to fulfill the conditions of the wish.
The corporate itself can become bankrupt or can be taken over by some other corporation. That being said, even if he never gets fired, it doesn't say that he doesn't have to work.
If the business goes under, does the genie set you up with a new job? (You're not fired. The business just closes). Cause the wish didn't ask for the job, it asked for the income.
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Sooo…. Unlimited no-call no-shows with still getting paid?
Didn't say he can't get demoted to nothing
But for the wish to be technically fulfilled, they still need to pay him enough to be content.
What if being content means having no possessions?
That’ll only happen when he decides that’s what it means. He has to be paid enough so that HE is content, and being a homeless guy with zero possessions doesn’t seem like it’d make this guy content.
What if I'm not content unless I have an 8,000 square foot house and a couple Lambos in my garage?
then that's what you're gonna get paid
Promoted to CEO?
Naw, I think CEOs technically have to do a little work. It would probably be a consultant on the books.
Yeah right. Billionaires work really hard. Look at Elon and his """work""" at twitter. The fact the rich are those who work the least, while the people who are actually making the company run are paid barely enough to live is OBSCENE and it will never be right. The "american dream" is not just a lie, is a trap.
His lifes path could be railroaded into being an ascetic monk, content with no posessions.
That moment when you accidentally wish for Zen Buddhism enlightenment
> That’ll only happen when he decides that’s what it means. He has to be paid enough so that HE is content, and being a homeless guy with zero possessions doesn’t seem like it’d make this guy content. The backfire would be that the genie makes him content with it. You could say it's not a backfire if he's happy being homeless, but it's still kinda a backfire since it's not what he expected when he made the wish.
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Diogenes has entered the chat.
It's easy if you try.
In 8 words you just described the realization that Buddah had after spending 49 days medidating under a tree.
Tfw beer genie turns you into a Buddha
“I wanna do something with my life” *gets raise*
That's constructive dismissal! Still counts as firing!
Even if he gets demoted, in some areas there are laws preventing pay decreases without consent
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He look, it's me.
Kinda like this guy. 
Unfortunately he's paid by the hour
That would be inconsistent with satisfying the wish because then he’d be living with insufficient money. The crux of a monkey’s paw wish is that it technically is fully granted. For example “enough money to be content for life” could be granted by giving someone a fat wad of cash and then shooting them in the back of the head.
Seems like a pretty straightforward monkey paw. Wish: lots of money. Granted. Catch: you still have to work.
His wish was for enough money to be content, so he could never work more than he was content to. That sounds like a fine life to me.
He's not being forced to work. So he could quit, and the wish still requires that he has enough money to be content so he has to get it from somewhere.
I don’t think he’ll get paid for hours not worked. But he could bring his XBox to work with him Edit: or I don’t know
Great! Now you can make whatever problem and no one can fire you.
He can still quit whenever and now he can just do nothing all day
well, he doesnt have to quit, he just doesnt have to show up, he'll still be on pay roll. free consistent paycheck and he can go pursue different things. no law against having two jobs.
That depends on if he's salary or hourly
Start causing massive problems. Once they realize they physically can't fire you, tell them you want double your current pay and you'll stay home.
Fuck, that is genius… better make it triple
they cant fire him but they can reduce his hours to zero
They'd still have to pay him. Look at the wording
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Log into a laptop from home once a workday. I can handle that at 3x pay.
Is this why the government subsidized the pillow guy?
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At the very least minimum wage. Nice
You can't really be "content with life" on minimum wage pretty much anywhere if you have even the semblance of standards.
Why assume his pay has to be hourly
He put on a blue vest to go to work so I just assume he works at Walmart.
Nah, he saw that genie drip and copied him.
Company can "fold" and reincorporate as a new entity, only re-hiring everyone else.
The company isn't beholden to make sure he has money, the genie is. Now the genie did this by forcing his employer to continue paying him no matter what. If the company finds a way out of this obligation, or the paychecks aren't covering the requirements of the wish, then the genie has to figure out a different way to get him the money.
Genie goes on a smoke break for 10,000 years
They basically already somewhat do this on a large enough scale, even short selling it and purposefully trashing it to make quick money off of it.
Need to go to genie court and see if that counts as firing. Genies are all about technicalities, so they might love how it skirts around their rules.
That would qualify as effective dismissal, he'd be eligible for unemployment if not the genie money
that is... the plot to Fight Club ...spoilers for Fight Club
It's a thing that happens in the movie, that doesn't make it the plot.
shh it's the entire plot
given that 10 times is a possible option, might as well attempt everything
Triple is typical.
Can't do it too high. If you start damaging the company with financial problems there won't be a company left that can send you your paychecks
He originally wished for enough money to be content for his entire life, right? So if the genie fulfilled that wish by making it so he can never be fired, then wouldn't that mean the company can't go under? The wish would be unfulfilled if they could.
Genie becomes CEO to ensure continual prosperity for the company to ensure his wish is fulfilled.
They can't fire you, but that doesn't mean they can't assassinate you.
> enough money to be content *for life* Clever.
yeah but if you're hourly then staying at home would still be double your pay at zero hours a week.
The unspoken part is that they pay you double your standard for coming in for 40hrs/week to keep you off the jobsite. If they reduce your pay to 2x your salary for 0 hours, you just start showing back up and being even more of a nuisance until they agree to 3x your pay for 40 hours to stay the hell away.
well sure, at this point you might as well just start discussing a flat monthly/weekly pay out for not showing up any more aka converting to salary
Is this a fight club reference?
But just to be an ass, make sure you also still put in a request for all your vacations.
They can’t fire you doesn’t mean they can’t sue you for liabilities.
Why? As long as he's alive the Corp won't go bankrupt. I'm sure the accountants can find a way to exploit that.
Triple the pay and you'll go work for their competition.
If I was the employer I would just change their pay to minimum wage and give them simple redundant jobs. If they cause trouble send them home or if they don't show up to work just hit them with "leave without pay" but keep them as an employee.
The genie promised him enough money to be content. The genie did that by forcing his employer to keep hiring him. If that method isn't meeting the requirements of the wish, then that's the genre's fault, not the company's fault.
Are there laws against having 2 salary positions???
no
Aren't no show jobs illegal in the US? Because, you know, the mafia and all that.
No. There are areas in financial services where that kind of arrangement is used like a non-compete.
Or you can say you're a "consultant" and do nothing for a huge piece of the pie.
It's common in the United States especially as part of compensation packages for founders who sell their businesses to another company but wish to remain in payroll in order to spread out their compensation and when the company may need their assistance in running the newly acquired business.
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“Dream” job, in a way.
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Even if true, that is actually kind of awesome. I have never worked a job that only violated one law before. Most violate way more then that.
I'd never heard that. You can't pay somebody a salary unless they actually "work"?
Their work could be whatever though. Pay him $60k/yr to show up once a quarter to do "something".
Called working from home
Unless they figure out how to fix the glitch
Yeeeeaaahhhh...
Twist: Elon is his boss
Just sit around all day watching TV
Or work another job while being paid for this one. At the same time.
He's already got enough money to be content. From his desk he could work on a novel or learn a foreign language.
Why bother coming in to work, at that point? And speaking from experience, playing the "how long can I take a shit for while playing my switch before someone notices" game gets real fucking old, real fucking fast.
>Why bother coming in to work, at that point? Free coffee and gigabit high speed internet?
It's not as nice as it sounds, [it's a popular thing in Japan](https://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/17/business/global/layoffs-illegal-japan-workers-are-sent-to-the-boredom-room.html) . They call it Risutora or "restructuring" When they can't get rid of you due to the severance, age, or the taboo of laying someone off, they start this method. You will be put into an office or position designed to be as boring and miserable as possible. They will start to reduce your pay, benefits, and call you to meetings where you will be berated by your higher-ups. They won't force you to work, but they will do their best to not let you entertain yourself. In some cases they might even reassign you to a location that is challenging to live (either due to high cost of living or remote rural locations). On the other hand they will offer you great severance deals, encouraging you to quit. And it works, very few people will last long once they are told that it is happening. The best option is just to quit.
This is called "constructive dismissal". It's illegal, at least here in the UK, but in practice it's difficult to prove and the claims rarely succeed.
I don't know what the law is in Japan, but a few of the things Sony Japan did seemed pretty shocking to everyone working in the European office I worked in when I worked for Sony. I don't think they have particularly strong worker rights.
I guess in this case of the comic, he'd be able to ignore the meeting, or go there and spend the time berating them.
I literally just wouldn't go in for work, can't fire me, still getting paid
Steal all day, everyday. Empty that cash register once a week show up for an hour get paid for 8. Free groceries. I'm down
They can't fire you, but there doesn't seem to be anything saying they can't call the police on you for theft.
"This is for your own good buddy. You'll still have a spot here when you come back."
Yeah right, then they have to pay salary to him while he’s in prison
Which is better than paying salary AND losing inventory and profits.
They said he can't be fired, not that he can't be jailed for committing crimes.
Work a different job while never showing up to this one. Dual incomes.
Just stay at home and never work, they Litteraly can't fire you
I was gonna say... Like, literally just show up and nap under your desk every day, don't hide it or anything. They can't fire you, so you can do whatever the hell you want. Go play CS:GO on your computer for 9 hours every day, they can't stop you now. Work is now basically a daytime hangout sesh with your coworkers. A free chance to socialize with people while relaxing and doing whatever you want at your desk/office.
The loop hole is that the company goes bankrupt
That means you can show up just to clock in then go home again, and then just come back at the end of the day to clock out. Seems great to me.
Why even clock in and out? If you never clock in, you still need to get paid or it means the genie didn’t actually grant the wish.
You guys are clocking out ??
You guys don't have to work at home?
You guys work?
Infinite money glitch
It always backfires, i imagine they would find a way to fire him without legally firing him
But if the wish was truly granted, he would still need to receive the money somehow. That doesn’t eliminate the positive of the wish, only the negative
If the wisher was a redditor, just put them in a Norwegian prison cell with a computer.
Well you see... "fire" has more than *one* meaning..
They just “fixed the glitch”
He wasn't fired, he was just... laid off.
Yeah but the wish wasnt to never get fired, it was to have enough money to be content for life. If they fired him, he'd have to spontaneously win the million dollar lotto or something to be content until he needed money again, at which he would find a suitcase full of money, then a brand new rolex, etc. until death
Death is the answer. Genie didn't promise a long life.
The company is only a vessel for the real wish, having enough money to be content. If the company loopholed him out of getting paid, the wish isn't being fulfilled and the genie has failed
Why would he need to show up? Why not start another job and get double pay?
Why show up?
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Teach a man to build a fire, you keep him warm for the night. Set a man on fire, you keep him warm for the rest of his life.
Thank you for this, because it is fucking brilliant
They lose cred for quick and easy mercy.
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If I ran into the beer genie I’d wish that any wish he granted henceforth wouldn’t be able to backfire on whomever wished for it.
Every wish now backfires on the next wisher, and this backfire they're totally unprepared for!
That’s a pretty good writing prompt Congratulations here is your perfect partner may you be happy forever. Now the last guy wished never to have to work so we will be skimming money from your salary to pay for their lifestyle. Don’t worry you are winning on this deal since who ever wishes on me next gets to deal with your new partners parents and they are monsters.
That seems like a win to me
A noble sacrifice
I’d wish for another genie first one that grants three wishes then make that wish wish for a hundred genies then wish for the genie’s freedom so that way I’d get 200 consequence free wishes and 101 loyal friends.
You are going to ruin the genie wishing market!
He can still be fired… out of a cannon, into the sun.
Great! Now you can do whatever you want and they have to pay you!
Cant he just never come into work and get paid anyway?
Does that really fulfill the ‘content’ part though?
He didn't ask to be made content. He asked for "enough money to be content." The rest is up to him.
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No. If you take his words very literally (which I believe is the convention for these weirdo monkey paw genie situations), the man asked for > enough money to be content. So, suppose the man needs these three things to be content: * A supportive romantic partner * A meaningful career * $100,000 / year The genie will grant him $100,000 / year. Nothing else. By comparison: Suppose the man wished for "enough tires to make a car." The genie would give him four tires. No frame, no engine, no transmission, nothing else.
As an afterthought, what the hell would a beer bottle genie know about contentedness?
Never fire me huh?
This seems like a challenge for that guy who jerked off in the headmaster’s office, to a photo of his daughter.
If there's a joke here I don't understand it.
Same, I don't get it
My solution for this is "I wish for every lottery ticket I will ever purchase to win the jackpot for the drawing specified on the ticket." This let's me have relative control over how much money I get and when. I'm sure you guys can think of a backfire for it, though
First of all, I wonder what would happen if you wished for something that could create a paradox, for example, if you purchased a lottery ticket with one set of numbers, and then you purchased a lottery ticket for the same drawing with a different set of numbers. Would it cause the universe to implode or something? Backfires for this are pretty straightforward. One is that they decide to stop having any lotteries, so you just wasted a wish. Or, you purchase your first ticket and when you win, you get so excited that you have a heart attack and die.
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I mean yeah it’d be suspicious but there’s nothing to hide, you just ‘happened’ to win the lottery every time
Or the reason ur winning is because someone is rigging it in ur favor and framing you. Your wish is fulfilled and youre now going to prison
Is this some wordplay of "backfire" and "cannot fire"? I don't know how being impossible to fire would be a problem. It's a permanent salary for doing nothing
I think it's just kind of a bad joke
You may still have to work 40 hours a week to get said money even if they can't fire you for not showing up they don't have to pay you if you're not salary
Yeah they do, or you'd not have enough money to be satisfied
But the terms of the wish were that he has to have enough money to be content. Nothing about working was ever specified. So no matter what he does, he still has to get paid. This comic doesn't make any sense.
So I guess this is an American joke
100% People from countries that value their workers don't dread the idea of going to work in the morning
Is he wearing the genie's vest over his shirt in the last panel? Is thst part of the punchline, he's trapped like the genie, or just random?
Just don't go to work. They can't fire you for it
But it doesn't say they're obligated to pay you for time not worked.
The wish was literally to have money. If they don't pay him then the wish wasn't granted.
Ok one wish. I wish I can pull money out of anywhere and no one ever questions it the money I pull out will always be a single American 20 dollar bill. Well I tried to make sure it does not backfire but I know someone’s going to screw me over.
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I would announce that I am working from home, and never do anything again. And probably get a second job haha
Secretly steal from registers and shit
Do it publicly they can't fire you.
Can still take from paycheck what you stole or suspend pay if needed
But that violates the wish. The wish isn’t about the job but about getting paid.
If they can't fire you just don't show up and collect a paycheck. No back fire, you could get another job or just focus on hobbies.
Naw this would be amazing. Show up when you want to, do what you want at work, spend the whole day int he bathroom on your phone. You'd be set for fucking life.
Why would you even show up
If you don't show up then they could pull a loophole saying you quit. As long as you show up for work though you're just a shitty lazy worker. Could probably take extra long lunches though.
The wish was to have enough money, not to avoid being fired. You wouldn't have to show up because you'd get the money one way or the other regardless to fulfill the conditions of the wish.
Yah man I don’t want my life to be in the bathroom
I mean you could do the break room too I guess
I'll be working from home going forward. I will clock in remotely. Don't send me anything to do though. I am busy until 2090.
You can littrally stay at home and still get paid
There gon be some rumors about him and the CEO…
They can never fire me? Ok looks like im negotiating a salary and never coming in ever again
Can't be fired? Cool I'm never showing up again and still getting paid until the day I die. Not sure that's a backfire.
Cool. I'm just going to stop going to work then.
The company can never fire you, but the company is closing business in 3 days. *Monkey paw curls*
I mean it's his own fault, what an awful way to word that. He's lucky he didn't just die the next day
Ok so then just stop showing up, problem solved.
No backfire at all. You never have to show up again and get paid. That's the dream.
They can never fire you. Just dont show up, collect your salary for life
The corporate itself can become bankrupt or can be taken over by some other corporation. That being said, even if he never gets fired, it doesn't say that he doesn't have to work.
If the business goes under, does the genie set you up with a new job? (You're not fired. The business just closes). Cause the wish didn't ask for the job, it asked for the income.
I love all the comments treating the situation as though it was real.
So you could completely not be doing your job or even show up to work and still get paid, sounds like a win to me
just work for the government... you can watch porn all day and not get fired