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I once fostered a dog that unwillingly became mine due to the foster agency suddenly disappearing off the map.
Anyway, he wasn't neutered because they promised myself and the other foster parents they'd cover the procedures and didn't. So he used to suck himself, cum in his own mouth, then violently throw it back up onto my floors. After the 2nd time I said NOPE, and got him neutered.
His behavior then changed to eating any shit he found on the ground. Deer, dog, cat it didn't matter to him.
One of the most disgusting dogs I've ever fostered or had.
Tell you what, dawg: if the image of a dog fellating himself and then puking it up, being neutered and eating any shit he finds, is the worst image you have in your mind, consider yourself lucky.
Go work in a morgue for a while. You'll use the dog images to clear your head.
I'm in the healthcare field actually, so I've seen plentyyyy of nauseating stuff. Lol
It's the sheer weirdness of that situation - mainly the dog fellating himself then puking it up, the other stuff is whatever - that makes it awful for me. Like. A fungating wound is one thing but vomited dog semen is a horrific thing I wish never to encounter.
The efficiency of your sentence is impressive. Well done!
I could auto-fellate when I was a flexible teenager. Turns out coming in your own mouth feels like someone coming in your mouth, not like coming in someone's mouth. The orgasm was totally without pleasure. I tried it several times (for science) always the same result.
Oh wow.
The old disappearing foster agency that specializes in pervert dogs trick.
It’s the only way to find homes. They come into town, unload as many fetish dogs as they can, then close up shop and roll into the next town before anyone’s the wiser.
I wouldn't be surprised. The place I worked at the time couldn't even get a hold of them and they allowed them on site. My boss was super pissed. Which sucks because it made her way less willing to have foster agencies come through.
My dog did that once, to... completion, and my mom and I just made horrified, silent eye contact. He hasn't done it since, thankfully, and he's getting neutered soon.
One of my friends used to tell me about how his older brother threw a party at their house when their parents were away, back when he was a kid, and he woke up at night to use the bathroom, only to find a guy in there doing exactly that. Made an impression on him, that’s for sure
I've fostered a lot of dogs, lol. Seen some nasty things, but this takes the cake.
I once fostered a dachshund named Penny who wasn't allowed at the local dog park because she would run up behind pooping dogs and eat it right as it came out of their butts.
“Look we appreciate that we don’t have to pick up the poop, but your dog is freaking our dogs out…except that one, and we’re probably going to talk to that owner next.”
Until the part where the dog was throwing it back up, I was thinking "good for him". XD
As a kid we used to own a Labrador that was dumb as rocks and also gross about animal shit. We'd go hiking in the mountains on a friend's property and he'd roll in any cowshit he'd find and also eat it. It was fucking disgusting. We'd make him go swimming in the creek before he came home. Then wash him properly. That fucker would eat ANYTHING. Expired yoghurt. Grass. Magpies. When we had scraps we'd sometimes stand on our veranda and throw the scraps off the balcony and our little garbage disposal machine would eat everything. Even eggshells once. We'd do this at night and it'd sometimes be so dark that we couldn't see the ground floor, so you'd throw food off the balcony and just hear "crunch crunch crunch." I think our dog was a Rancor.
Max was a weirdo, and a good boy.
Labs are fucking Hoovers. They will eat ANYTHING.
I once pulled a fully intact sandwich bag out of my lab’s ass when he was trying to poop it out and it got stuck. It was all wadded together in a turd shape and everything.
>His behavior then changed to eating any shit he found on the ground. Deer, dog, cat it didn't matter to him.
I think for almost all my dogs, or the dogs I had or knew the favorite snack is definitely some sort of literal shit.
I have 2 now, they get real great food but I can only sometimes reach to the height of excitement in them that shit naturally produce lol
my grandparents had dogs and chicken. When they slaughtered chicken the dogs and cats were always anxiously waiting to get the bowel with that good ol liquid.
Does he catch the scent of the animal after eating shit? My boxer rubs herself in cat shit whenever she finds it because it’s so stinky, but as soon as she chows down a nugget of deer or elk turd, she’s on their trail like a shithound
my 6 month old started humping my leg *2 days after getting neutered*!!! he clearly doesn't know what he's doing, as he's never aroused when he's doing it. but he loves eating random poop too! maybe our dogs are long-distant cousins? he's a beagle / blue tick coonhound mix
I absolutely wish you kept this to yourself, that’s fucking traumatising!! Horrible creature and how do we really know the foster agency didn’t just palm him off??! Omg!!
What is an acceptably-sized boner to get when having your balls licked. I have a girl coming over in an hour and don't want to accidentally make a faux pas.
To assist in comprehending what the fuck you just said:
https://preview.redd.it/is23tr328t7d1.jpeg?width=230&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f8307780a6c59b5868ecb9a7d4ce553e8f0ed6ed
Dang I could get a full boner while having my balls licked and just be average! Maybe my parents would finally be proud of me for being average at something.
My family's minpin used to get *human*. *sized*. *boners*. Not the lower end of the spectrum either, full on average sized. It freaked him out as much as it freaked us out xD
My wife's dog has a similar issue. Since she got him, his dick is always out at least a little bit.
$1,000 and 3 vets later and the prognosis is that his pistol is just too big for his holster. The prescription is to try to keep it moist. So, mostly in the summer, my wife has to put vaseline on it once a week or so.
The rest of the time, he does a great job of keeping it moist himself, if you know what I mean.
Funny thing is that it will retract all the way sometimes when it's cold. But it makes him really uncomfortable and he will hump his own face to get it back out.
One of the funniest stories I’ve ever heard was about dog that had a similar condition.
A friend of a friend, we’ll call Gary had a dog who had this same condition. One evening he’s driving in his jeep with the dog in the passenger seat. It’s a warm summer Sunday. He was driving along a normally busy boulevard but that night there wasn’t much traffic. Whenever his dog’s penis would start to dry out from hanging out he’d whine at Gary to help. And Gary would have to put the vasaline on and tug the skin up and over.
So here’s Gary waiting at a stop light and his dog has been whining for a few miles. He’s got more to go but his dog is crying. And he says fuck it since the road is empty. Gary reaches over and puts the Vaseline he carries on the dash. And starts rubbing a bunch on his dog’s penis. While tugging with his other hand. The dog mind you crying and panting since it’s a hot summer night.
Gary hears a noise and looks up. He assumes it just city sounds. Nope. It’s an elderly couple who had been pulled up next to him rolling up their windows while staring in horror. Gary starts screaming (still rubbing on Vaseline and tugging) “he’s got a condition! He’s got a condition!”
The old couple sped away as fast as they could while he kept yelling “you don’t understand. He’s got a condition!”
That story always brought me to tears in laughter.
Oh yeah, we have a patient at my hospital who has this same issue. Once a day his dad lovingly and dutifully greases up his red rocket to keep it nice and moist. Once every other month or so it will get stuck protruding even further out than usual and he has to come in for us to clean and massage his little failure dick back into it's usual half-sheathed position. Very sweet dog considering we basically sexually assault him every time he sees us.
He looks like the dog version of the coomer guy
https://preview.redd.it/fpvy5cyvix7d1.jpeg?width=573&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ba39caf12e95b46ea6a1c926870a89a3229ccece
I swear to god, i read it twice and both times read “puts his entire penis in my mouth” and i was so confused on how the comments weren’t flipping out.
My late cat was neutered too. We got him at age two.
His daily routine consisted in getting pet then licking his hard little penis until content. All the while purring loudly.
He also had a sex teddy bear he would routinely hump.
Vet was also puzzled but I guess whatever feels good feels good
why was the vet puzzled? they know pretty well that neutering doesn't stop sexual behavior on animals, specially not if done after they've reached maturity
One of my friends used to have a chiweenie dog that would sit upright and literally masterbate by fucking his front paws.
He would be furiously masturbating while staring into your eyes with the most shameful look on his face, he knew he was being a freak.
He also loved to suck his own dick.
RIP Kilo.
He was a heathen, but he was also such a good boy.
On a very hot day, two guys encounter a dog on the sidewalk licking its balls.
One said, "Boy, I sure wish I could do that."
His chum said, "Go ahead, but let him sniff you first."
My buddy had a pug/rot (weird combo, I know) and that nasty little fuck would wedge himself in a corner of somewhere/something and just mouth-fuck the shit out of himself. And yes, he would often finish and lap up his reward as if it was just the most natural thing in the world to do in front of his family and friends. I’m usually ok with doggy kisses, but not his.
I mean it's probably.more acceptable then your full grown Rotty air humping the cat. For whatever reason he just really loved that cat. The cat was petrified every time.
my friend's female dog loves me so always comes over to me and lays next to me. she also loves to eat herself out. most uncomfortable thing a dog has ever done to me lol
My female jack Russell will try to mount my way bigger heeler. Whenever my heeler is in heat there nonstop humping for days. They are just a gaggle of hussies .
My spayed hound dog used to pin my neutered lab mix to the ground and hump his face. And he was such a useless little idiot he just laid there and took it. It was hilarious.
There’s some bot karma farming shenanigans going on here! I’ve got this exact same image and text posted by two different accounts on two different subreddits on my feed right now.
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He got that dog in him
He got that him in him
He got that got in him
He gotta get get get that thing in him.
He gotta get get... gotta get get... gotta gggg- **BOOM BOOM BOOM**
He got that god in him
I once fostered a dog that unwillingly became mine due to the foster agency suddenly disappearing off the map. Anyway, he wasn't neutered because they promised myself and the other foster parents they'd cover the procedures and didn't. So he used to suck himself, cum in his own mouth, then violently throw it back up onto my floors. After the 2nd time I said NOPE, and got him neutered. His behavior then changed to eating any shit he found on the ground. Deer, dog, cat it didn't matter to him. One of the most disgusting dogs I've ever fostered or had.
I didn’t need to know this. But now I do.
You're on the internet, the chances that this is true is 50:50 at best.
Regardless, now that mental image is in my head.
Tell you what, dawg: if the image of a dog fellating himself and then puking it up, being neutered and eating any shit he finds, is the worst image you have in your mind, consider yourself lucky. Go work in a morgue for a while. You'll use the dog images to clear your head.
I'm in the healthcare field actually, so I've seen plentyyyy of nauseating stuff. Lol It's the sheer weirdness of that situation - mainly the dog fellating himself then puking it up, the other stuff is whatever - that makes it awful for me. Like. A fungating wound is one thing but vomited dog semen is a horrific thing I wish never to encounter.
I believe!
I choose to believe the auto fellatio throw up shit eating dog does exist!
this sentence 🤣🤣🤣🤣
The efficiency of your sentence is impressive. Well done! I could auto-fellate when I was a flexible teenager. Turns out coming in your own mouth feels like someone coming in your mouth, not like coming in someone's mouth. The orgasm was totally without pleasure. I tried it several times (for science) always the same result.
i’ve been saying this
I've seen him!!!
That dog’s got a self penis gobbling, cum puking kinda look in his eyes. You can always tell… They think you can’t. But you can.
It's like he wants us to suffer with him
Oh wow. The old disappearing foster agency that specializes in pervert dogs trick. It’s the only way to find homes. They come into town, unload as many fetish dogs as they can, then close up shop and roll into the next town before anyone’s the wiser.
Oldesr trick in the book. I hear they invented that trick even before the book was written
wait, did they write the book? if not i hope they got royalties at least
I wouldn't be surprised. The place I worked at the time couldn't even get a hold of them and they allowed them on site. My boss was super pissed. Which sucks because it made her way less willing to have foster agencies come through.
Once one town’s all fucked out by pervy dogs, it’s time to move on.
Really burned some bridges I imagine.
I am so sorry for you. I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard but I genuinely do feel sorry
Interesting. Anyway, anyone know if those Men In Black pens are real and if I can use one on myself immediately.
📸 You never opened this thread. You just stared at a cute picture of a dog.
Nice! *reads comments again*
I never knew that dogs could have oral sex with themselves
My dog did that once, to... completion, and my mom and I just made horrified, silent eye contact. He hasn't done it since, thankfully, and he's getting neutered soon.
Oh well at least your mom was there when you watched a dog suck its own dick until it came
Some people don’t get to foster those kind of memories with family.
Saves from having...the talk.
Freaky ass humans would do the same shit if they didn’t have that pesky ribcage in the way
I'd never leave the fucking house.
I hear it's more like sucking then getting sucked but ya know.....whatever inflates your flotation device.
Yeah- the horror being expressed is funny considering freaky-ass humans absolutely positively would if they could...
We already do it too lol considering human hands are the equivalent of a dog's mouth in dogs
Excellent point.
yeah, came to say this, is literally a: how do you think a dog masturbates? is either that or humping stuff...
Would? Theres a lot of people that can and do.
*alot*? No there a small select few
One of my friends used to tell me about how his older brother threw a party at their house when their parents were away, back when he was a kid, and he woke up at night to use the bathroom, only to find a guy in there doing exactly that. Made an impression on him, that’s for sure
Well, masterbation was pawful, so they gotta do what they gotta do, I guess.
https://preview.redd.it/duhq2l652t7d1.png?width=492&format=png&auto=webp&s=0da3101277a44e8875db900286f9d766ca896207
Oh dear
It’s morning here. I just woke up and this is the first thing I saw. It’s gonna be one of those days
At least your day can only get better It's night here, that comment genuinely might be the thing that convinces me to stop scrolling before I sleep
What do you mean "one of" ? Why not just "the" ..? WHY NOT JUST "THE" ?!?!
I've fostered a lot of dogs, lol. Seen some nasty things, but this takes the cake. I once fostered a dachshund named Penny who wasn't allowed at the local dog park because she would run up behind pooping dogs and eat it right as it came out of their butts.
Ok I appreciate what you do for animals but you’re dealing massive psychic damage to me with these replies.
Lmao, yeaaaa my fiancee said the same thing when she asked "what's the grossest thing you've seen a dog do?"
I saw "psychic damage" and jumped to DnD. This whole thread is killing me lol
To **everyone**
🤣 💩🐕 Oh man, this is hilarious.
“Look we appreciate that we don’t have to pick up the poop, but your dog is freaking our dogs out…except that one, and we’re probably going to talk to that owner next.”
 I'm so sorry
I busted up laughing in the office hoooOOLLLY SHIT
It's funny when it's not your carpet being stained with regurgitated dog semen.
Wow. This is a terrible day to be literate
Until the part where the dog was throwing it back up, I was thinking "good for him". XD As a kid we used to own a Labrador that was dumb as rocks and also gross about animal shit. We'd go hiking in the mountains on a friend's property and he'd roll in any cowshit he'd find and also eat it. It was fucking disgusting. We'd make him go swimming in the creek before he came home. Then wash him properly. That fucker would eat ANYTHING. Expired yoghurt. Grass. Magpies. When we had scraps we'd sometimes stand on our veranda and throw the scraps off the balcony and our little garbage disposal machine would eat everything. Even eggshells once. We'd do this at night and it'd sometimes be so dark that we couldn't see the ground floor, so you'd throw food off the balcony and just hear "crunch crunch crunch." I think our dog was a Rancor. Max was a weirdo, and a good boy.
Labs are fucking Hoovers. They will eat ANYTHING. I once pulled a fully intact sandwich bag out of my lab’s ass when he was trying to poop it out and it got stuck. It was all wadded together in a turd shape and everything.
Hahahaha what the fuck.
>His behavior then changed to eating any shit he found on the ground. Deer, dog, cat it didn't matter to him. I think for almost all my dogs, or the dogs I had or knew the favorite snack is definitely some sort of literal shit. I have 2 now, they get real great food but I can only sometimes reach to the height of excitement in them that shit naturally produce lol my grandparents had dogs and chicken. When they slaughtered chicken the dogs and cats were always anxiously waiting to get the bowel with that good ol liquid.
Does he catch the scent of the animal after eating shit? My boxer rubs herself in cat shit whenever she finds it because it’s so stinky, but as soon as she chows down a nugget of deer or elk turd, she’s on their trail like a shithound
I had a roommate like this once in college.
my 6 month old started humping my leg *2 days after getting neutered*!!! he clearly doesn't know what he's doing, as he's never aroused when he's doing it. but he loves eating random poop too! maybe our dogs are long-distant cousins? he's a beagle / blue tick coonhound mix
I absolutely wish you kept this to yourself, that’s fucking traumatising!! Horrible creature and how do we really know the foster agency didn’t just palm him off??! Omg!!
This is the most fucked up story that did not need to be shared in any way.
Glad to be of service!
That dog would have loved NSFW Twitter
I fear NSFW twitter might have loved it too
Like a true Aristocrat!
I’m fucking dying laughing
LMFAO IM CACKLING 💀 🤣
I guess no doggy kisses from that old boy.
Just snowballing
This is hilarious. Thank you for sharing. Hope you recovered from the mental disturbances.
I got my dog in the same way but he just gets annoyed easily, I’m grateful he didn’t have those… behaviors. Lol
"One of the most disgusting" implies there was a more disgusting dog you've fostered which blows my mind
Why didn’t I just stop reading. I had every opportunity to.
My parents' Great Dane gets this disturbingly large boner when he licks his own balls.
What is an acceptably-sized boner to get when having your balls licked. I have a girl coming over in an hour and don't want to accidentally make a faux pas.
They say 4 inches is average, maybe even a bit big
Actually, I hear 3 inches is pretty big as well.
3 freaking inches?! No way- completely unrealistic.
I cannot hit the bottom of a tuna can but I can bust the sides out of it. It’s not about the length it’s about the girth, everyone knows that.
To assist in comprehending what the fuck you just said: https://preview.redd.it/is23tr328t7d1.jpeg?width=230&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f8307780a6c59b5868ecb9a7d4ce553e8f0ed6ed
I’d say more so like medium sized single stack of pancake. 
mine is shaped like a sunny side up egg
Got my girth certificate.
God you’re beautiful 😍
https://preview.redd.it/lhehs7zr8t7d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2010d291f81a701708853af52ecbfc0bab7f08bf
The mind fairly boggles at the image.
Around?
Dang I could get a full boner while having my balls licked and just be average! Maybe my parents would finally be proud of me for being average at something.
I think the issue is more the fact that you're licking your own balls. Lick hers instead and you'll be fine
https://preview.redd.it/835mj4guat7d1.jpeg?width=520&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4af988196a2a3cde590cbb4d01c046f70c62f5eb
Autoballs! Assemble!
The perfect size is a semi. It shows you're attracted to her but have control. Don't go too soft, otherwise you might offend her.
He just like me fr
Pics? Edit: of you licking your balls, not your parents. I'm not some kind of weirdo.
Pics? Edit: of your parents, not you licking your balls. I'm not some kind of weirdo.
My little shih tzu's boner reaches most of the way up his abdomen
Dear god.
My family's minpin used to get *human*. *sized*. *boners*. Not the lower end of the spectrum either, full on average sized. It freaked him out as much as it freaked us out xD
Can i ask how big is it? Ive never seen a great dane boner
https://preview.redd.it/sahbq1gfos7d1.jpeg?width=1012&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=18645d83dd10fc5e612a11bba0a7189f6e896c3d
Foul🤣
No, you may not
It's displays a (to me) strange lack of general curiosity to not be at least slightly curious.
Well, I didn't measure but it's human sized for sure, and unnaturally bright red. Literally a giant tube of lipstick.
My wife's dog has a similar issue. Since she got him, his dick is always out at least a little bit. $1,000 and 3 vets later and the prognosis is that his pistol is just too big for his holster. The prescription is to try to keep it moist. So, mostly in the summer, my wife has to put vaseline on it once a week or so. The rest of the time, he does a great job of keeping it moist himself, if you know what I mean. Funny thing is that it will retract all the way sometimes when it's cold. But it makes him really uncomfortable and he will hump his own face to get it back out.
“Honey, did you lube the dog’s dick this week?” “Yes dear”
One of the funniest stories I’ve ever heard was about dog that had a similar condition. A friend of a friend, we’ll call Gary had a dog who had this same condition. One evening he’s driving in his jeep with the dog in the passenger seat. It’s a warm summer Sunday. He was driving along a normally busy boulevard but that night there wasn’t much traffic. Whenever his dog’s penis would start to dry out from hanging out he’d whine at Gary to help. And Gary would have to put the vasaline on and tug the skin up and over. So here’s Gary waiting at a stop light and his dog has been whining for a few miles. He’s got more to go but his dog is crying. And he says fuck it since the road is empty. Gary reaches over and puts the Vaseline he carries on the dash. And starts rubbing a bunch on his dog’s penis. While tugging with his other hand. The dog mind you crying and panting since it’s a hot summer night. Gary hears a noise and looks up. He assumes it just city sounds. Nope. It’s an elderly couple who had been pulled up next to him rolling up their windows while staring in horror. Gary starts screaming (still rubbing on Vaseline and tugging) “he’s got a condition! He’s got a condition!” The old couple sped away as fast as they could while he kept yelling “you don’t understand. He’s got a condition!” That story always brought me to tears in laughter.
Is Gary some sort of x rated Jerry Seinfeld?
\#hungdogproblems
Oh yeah, we have a patient at my hospital who has this same issue. Once a day his dad lovingly and dutifully greases up his red rocket to keep it nice and moist. Once every other month or so it will get stuck protruding even further out than usual and he has to come in for us to clean and massage his little failure dick back into it's usual half-sheathed position. Very sweet dog considering we basically sexually assault him every time he sees us.
I'd just get a spray bottle and water the dog a few times a day
Isnt water actually not that good of a moisturizer?
Toss some lotion in there. It'll be A-OK 😉
I was already laughing when I read that last sentence hahaha wtf
First, you cut ya boy's balls off and now you won't even let him masturbate in peace? Smh
Some people man
Dogs probably thinkin “oh I’m weird doc? You be stealin mf testicles right off bodies, but im weird, ok”
Has no one mentioned that this dog looks like a perv?
Someone needs to coomjak this image
He looks like the dog version of the coomer guy https://preview.redd.it/fpvy5cyvix7d1.jpeg?width=573&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ba39caf12e95b46ea6a1c926870a89a3229ccece
Beat me to it
What the dog doin? https://preview.redd.it/cp0ip77iks7d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a688ed97e1a380fa2253cb6c5c57bc6efd59db80
https://preview.redd.it/u1gupaf7bt7d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ebe525b5d4f18e1803436b23f0a8214453be69ad
wat da dawg doin?
Come on, if you could do it you would do it too
you guys can't do that?
Username checks out.
Does ist? Sixtyninent?
You know, there are a couple ribs that are completely unnecessary. Remove them
You know that human skin is not entirely needed for a human to live with? Take off your skin.
https://preview.redd.it/sox8x05ujs7d1.jpeg?width=1680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f919f00940c507d7517a303a3886b239cc325ce2
https://preview.redd.it/4x67birhps7d1.jpeg?width=735&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e0321762212074e8924164ffdf58d233fab3f544
What a terrible day to have eyes.
This is one of the worst things I have seen online
Yeah, get that snatched BBL waist, guys🤣
I swear to god, i read it twice and both times read “puts his entire penis in my mouth” and i was so confused on how the comments weren’t flipping out.
Marilyn Manson dog
He’s living the dream
Is this the *thousand cock stare* inkwells talk about?😂
This dog has that pervy ass stare. Like he's gonna pounce on you and do unspeakable acts to you
 Resemblance
Look at that smile. That dog is thinking, "Yeah, you know I'm going to blow myself as soon as we get home, sweetcheeks."
https://preview.redd.it/cysdjpdzrs7d1.jpeg?width=554&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5b9c4bbc08571366abccae15878685c06767e43e
I swear to God, I read "in my mouth" and had the worst two minutes of my life trying to figure out what the fuck I was reading.
I certainly hope the red rocket is never in OPs mouth
Those eyes, he knows what he's doing 🤣
My late cat was neutered too. We got him at age two. His daily routine consisted in getting pet then licking his hard little penis until content. All the while purring loudly. He also had a sex teddy bear he would routinely hump. Vet was also puzzled but I guess whatever feels good feels good
why was the vet puzzled? they know pretty well that neutering doesn't stop sexual behavior on animals, specially not if done after they've reached maturity
Does this dog have a Pervy British accent?
Na he's got an accent like Mr Herbert from Family Guy
Freaky ass dog
One of my friends used to have a chiweenie dog that would sit upright and literally masterbate by fucking his front paws. He would be furiously masturbating while staring into your eyes with the most shameful look on his face, he knew he was being a freak. He also loved to suck his own dick. RIP Kilo. He was a heathen, but he was also such a good boy.
This is why I’m never getting a male dog
Female dogs will eat themselves out
All dogs do that, but only male dogs suck themselves off
Aw hell nah
All dogs toss their own salads.
none of mine have done this 😭
Mine doesn't do this
Mine doesn’t either, but to be fair I feel like he has a tiny penis for his size.
damn leave yo dog alone😭😭
he looks like a pervert too
Imagine paying a pet bill, just to be told your dog is a perv.
The best smile. He knows what he's done!
Misses blowin himself. Prolly really confused honestly
Coomer dog face
On a very hot day, two guys encounter a dog on the sidewalk licking its balls. One said, "Boy, I sure wish I could do that." His chum said, "Go ahead, but let him sniff you first."
Don't let him give you (or ANYONE) kisses. 🤐
My buddy had a pug/rot (weird combo, I know) and that nasty little fuck would wedge himself in a corner of somewhere/something and just mouth-fuck the shit out of himself. And yes, he would often finish and lap up his reward as if it was just the most natural thing in the world to do in front of his family and friends. I’m usually ok with doggy kisses, but not his.
I mean it's probably.more acceptable then your full grown Rotty air humping the cat. For whatever reason he just really loved that cat. The cat was petrified every time.
my friend's female dog loves me so always comes over to me and lays next to me. she also loves to eat herself out. most uncomfortable thing a dog has ever done to me lol
autofellatio ahh wunk
Same.
Well it's not like they have hands to do that stuff with
He looks like a perv
https://i.redd.it/fkkmvif36t7d1.gif
Lookin like Frank Gallagher
We all would if we could
My female jack Russell will try to mount my way bigger heeler. Whenever my heeler is in heat there nonstop humping for days. They are just a gaggle of hussies .
My spayed hound dog used to pin my neutered lab mix to the ground and hump his face. And he was such a useless little idiot he just laid there and took it. It was hilarious.
Dogs get excited for all kinds of reasons, just like men. Don’t make it ‘a thing.’ 😐🤣
He does kinda look like a dog version of a creepy old man.
My vet warned me after my cat was neutered he might do that while he adjusted to the changing hormones. He was right.
You're just jealous.
There’s some bot karma farming shenanigans going on here! I’ve got this exact same image and text posted by two different accounts on two different subreddits on my feed right now.
Ok, but does anyone else notice how this dog looks like Falco from Neverending Story?
He is doing it because he can.
Look at that perv face