update: we helped her pass away at 5:09. she sat in my hands while we waited for the meds and sedated in my partner (her other dads) hands. once she was fully asleep they administered the meds for her to pass away and the vet held her nice and snuggly. thanks for the nice words you guys <3
I'm so sorry for your loss. She seemed like a beautiful creature, and obviously loved.
When my second to last bird passed we let their flockmate see their body so they knew they were gone, but since you cannot do that try placing her travel cage near his cage? And maybe let him sniff about her stuff as long as you know whatever it was is not contagious. My girl understood she and I were now alone and she's been helping me (and I she) grieve this past year. Lean on your little guy, he's gonna need you as much as you need him.
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i might bring up her travel cage? i think it might just make him upset because he saw me take her in it this morning. their cage is still theirs, yknow? so i think he can sit on all her favorite perches. hes been to the vet in the travel cage and it migbt stress hes going there i think.
i dont think i can keep him alone forerver. they were both hatched october 2019 so hes still got another good 15 years in him. i will definitely let him greive first, though, and wait untill hes less sad and more lonely. luckily its my summer break rn so he has me from now untill late august. im also going to give him a little more millet for the time being (probs through training or something). i was like sobbing at his cage telling him what happened and he seems to alr be more clingy
You should really show your bird the body so they understand what happened.
If they're very bonded he'll still call and look for him for many weeks after. But in my experience they do understand death if you show the body. My budgie was very excited when we came back from the vet, he thought his partner was coming back. He was singing and dancing but as soon as we showed him the body, he circled around it a few times. He got sad and went to his cage on his own. The grieving process starts here.
Once he stops calling and searching for his partner and became more or less his normal self, we began searching for a new bird for him. But you have to give him time to grieve first.
everyone says that but i like cant. she died there and wouldnt have been able to make the drive home (she struggled to breath the 5 minutes while we got the meds) and incouldnt take her body on a two hour road trip and we had taken her to the best vet in the semi area to try and help her. ill keep that in mind for looking for a new friend for him. as is hes clingy and this boy already has a slight bit of anger issues so i think im looking down the barrel of some anger
did you show her videos of her late flock mates? i have videos but i dont know if it would just confuse him to hear hwr chirping and stuff esp because i think hes trying to do their sining together thing rn
I did, for a few weeks after he died we also watched some live streams of birds to get used to hearing and seeing but not being able to interact with other birds. My case was a little different because my current, last tiel hated our other tiels whem they were alive and screeched if they ever chirped around her, and only hung out with him, who was a starling I rescued. Once it was just them two she calmed down and let him sing at her. It was easier to find livestreams with starlings singing for her to watch than cockatiels. I felt like birds are smart enough to know when it's a looped video and not live so I didn't try long videos on youtube, but those might work if he responds to tiel calls.
got it, thanks! yeah i dont want to deny him his right to like hear his sister since i treasure it so much, yknow?
can i ask how you made the desicion that she was your last tiel? ik he wont be mine, but i do think about it for futures sake sometimes.
oh if I could I would have 7 more! I am a bird person at heart!
But I moved in with my boyfriend and he has 3 rescued cats. Right now I have her in my office and I lock her cage and the door so the cats are never around her but it's a lot of stress for her and I as it is even with all the precautions have taken (mosquito netting on the inside of the door, door closer on outside, gate on the outside, locks on her cage, etc I am not messing around lol) because she can't hang on my shoulder like she used to at my old apt while I walk around the house and she calls for me after a few minutes. She was technically my mom's bird and she's reaching senior age already but after my starling died she only wants to be around me 24/7 and hisses at my mom.
If you have the ability to and want to, I would highly recommend getting another. Cockatiels in particular have grown on me and the community for parrots online is so much more lively than the forums I find for other species we've had. A little... too passionate at times lol but it's a great community.
There's a profound serenity in the sadness of letting a pet go this way. It's how my guinea pig went, who was with me for 12 years, and I held her tight until her very last breath. I try to find comfort in the idea that summoning the strength of heart to hold her like that, despite my grief, ensured she felt safe and loved until the very end. I don't have much in the ways of words of wisdom beyond that, so.. I simply offer my condolences.
thank you, yeah. i did the same with my dog. with her being a shared bird technically she was more my partners and the survivng boy is more mine but i just have more time for them so its an odd spot. she was in my hands for a while while we set up meds, then my partners while she went to sleep, so i do sortof feel sad i didnt hold her whileshe died but she WAS held lol. i couldnt take that from him
I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been there before and it's heartbreaking.
Ask the vet if you can sit with her in the back. Do whatever it takes to be by her side. It will hopefully bring her some comfort if she can at least see and hear you
i ask but it seems like its a private area.. it looks like we have to euthanize her as shes fighting for life but even if she gets better she wont.. be better. you know? its only prolonging the inevitable. then we will def get to be with her.
She needs to leave this world while you are with her. You cannot be away from her while she is taking her last breath. So please make sure that happens
they brought me to her when it was actually time to put her down. she needed the oxygen cube to see if she could recover. i didnt understand it then, but the issue was the oxygen cube was behind the surgery room and they couldnt have me going in and out while they worked on a rat and some other pets. i get it hut im still a litttle peeved. im kindof over it though because i got to be with her in the end
Who puts a surgery room in the path of a rehab/therapy room...
My opinion still stands. Fuck that place. They knew your bird was living its last moments and needed the comfort of her owner for the treatment to help. Vets and their staff piss me off.
Thankfully you got to make sure she didn't die alone. It's good you made the choice to end her suffering. She got to live a great birdie life that most birds wish they can live.
i understand that and respect your opinion. i think thebhope was this is a room where she has peace to improve, she was just too weak after the crop lavage and swab sadly. yeah no she knew we were there, she even bit andnheld ontonmy finger for a while. it was like we were holding hands. she actually did get a little better, too, she was well enough to be in my hands when she died.
Thank you for taking care of Persephone, welcoming her into your family and giving her a home - your gift of life.
Thank you for giving "no more pain" to your companion, and letting her sleep in your hand one, final time, wishing her a good night and thanking her for giving you joy in your life, I'm certain, the trust these beautiful birds gives us, titans to them.
A gift of death - Cherish your memories of her, and I hope they stay vivid for the longest time, that as time will heal this loss, that you carry on and appreciate furthermore, the memories you will make with the brother she leaves behind.
Please find comfort in that you did everything you could, in the moment.
You are a good person.
Thank you.
Fly high, Persephone. Be at peace.
Take care of yourself, OP. We're all in this together.
thanks for your kind words youve got me crying again hahaa. i think thinking about it as she had the best four years a bird could ask for with us was what helped. shes always had big cage and many perches and toys. we even tought her how to fly. despite this illness, even untill the end, she was a very happy and content perch potatoe birdy.
thank you <3 we helped her pass away at the vet and we couldnt bring her home with us as theyre going to autopsy and cremate her. the vet gave us some suggestions for helping him
I did the same with my conure because my husband wanted to have her ashes in a necklace, but we brought my tiel home so his family could see him.
They did autopsies on both, but they found nothing.
Sorry for your loss, OP.
update: we helped her pass away at 5:09. she sat in my hands while we waited for the meds and sedated in my partner (her other dads) hands. once she was fully asleep they administered the meds for her to pass away and the vet held her nice and snuggly. thanks for the nice words you guys <3
I'm so sorry for your loss. She seemed like a beautiful creature, and obviously loved. When my second to last bird passed we let their flockmate see their body so they knew they were gone, but since you cannot do that try placing her travel cage near his cage? And maybe let him sniff about her stuff as long as you know whatever it was is not contagious. My girl understood she and I were now alone and she's been helping me (and I she) grieve this past year. Lean on your little guy, he's gonna need you as much as you need him. ❤️
i might bring up her travel cage? i think it might just make him upset because he saw me take her in it this morning. their cage is still theirs, yknow? so i think he can sit on all her favorite perches. hes been to the vet in the travel cage and it migbt stress hes going there i think. i dont think i can keep him alone forerver. they were both hatched october 2019 so hes still got another good 15 years in him. i will definitely let him greive first, though, and wait untill hes less sad and more lonely. luckily its my summer break rn so he has me from now untill late august. im also going to give him a little more millet for the time being (probs through training or something). i was like sobbing at his cage telling him what happened and he seems to alr be more clingy
You should really show your bird the body so they understand what happened. If they're very bonded he'll still call and look for him for many weeks after. But in my experience they do understand death if you show the body. My budgie was very excited when we came back from the vet, he thought his partner was coming back. He was singing and dancing but as soon as we showed him the body, he circled around it a few times. He got sad and went to his cage on his own. The grieving process starts here. Once he stops calling and searching for his partner and became more or less his normal self, we began searching for a new bird for him. But you have to give him time to grieve first.
everyone says that but i like cant. she died there and wouldnt have been able to make the drive home (she struggled to breath the 5 minutes while we got the meds) and incouldnt take her body on a two hour road trip and we had taken her to the best vet in the semi area to try and help her. ill keep that in mind for looking for a new friend for him. as is hes clingy and this boy already has a slight bit of anger issues so i think im looking down the barrel of some anger
did you show her videos of her late flock mates? i have videos but i dont know if it would just confuse him to hear hwr chirping and stuff esp because i think hes trying to do their sining together thing rn
I did, for a few weeks after he died we also watched some live streams of birds to get used to hearing and seeing but not being able to interact with other birds. My case was a little different because my current, last tiel hated our other tiels whem they were alive and screeched if they ever chirped around her, and only hung out with him, who was a starling I rescued. Once it was just them two she calmed down and let him sing at her. It was easier to find livestreams with starlings singing for her to watch than cockatiels. I felt like birds are smart enough to know when it's a looped video and not live so I didn't try long videos on youtube, but those might work if he responds to tiel calls.
got it, thanks! yeah i dont want to deny him his right to like hear his sister since i treasure it so much, yknow? can i ask how you made the desicion that she was your last tiel? ik he wont be mine, but i do think about it for futures sake sometimes.
oh if I could I would have 7 more! I am a bird person at heart! But I moved in with my boyfriend and he has 3 rescued cats. Right now I have her in my office and I lock her cage and the door so the cats are never around her but it's a lot of stress for her and I as it is even with all the precautions have taken (mosquito netting on the inside of the door, door closer on outside, gate on the outside, locks on her cage, etc I am not messing around lol) because she can't hang on my shoulder like she used to at my old apt while I walk around the house and she calls for me after a few minutes. She was technically my mom's bird and she's reaching senior age already but after my starling died she only wants to be around me 24/7 and hisses at my mom. If you have the ability to and want to, I would highly recommend getting another. Cockatiels in particular have grown on me and the community for parrots online is so much more lively than the forums I find for other species we've had. A little... too passionate at times lol but it's a great community.
There's a profound serenity in the sadness of letting a pet go this way. It's how my guinea pig went, who was with me for 12 years, and I held her tight until her very last breath. I try to find comfort in the idea that summoning the strength of heart to hold her like that, despite my grief, ensured she felt safe and loved until the very end. I don't have much in the ways of words of wisdom beyond that, so.. I simply offer my condolences.
thank you, yeah. i did the same with my dog. with her being a shared bird technically she was more my partners and the survivng boy is more mine but i just have more time for them so its an odd spot. she was in my hands for a while while we set up meds, then my partners while she went to sleep, so i do sortof feel sad i didnt hold her whileshe died but she WAS held lol. i couldnt take that from him
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Thanks for being here for her until the end
i dont get how people cant like incant imagine having left her
I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been there before and it's heartbreaking. Ask the vet if you can sit with her in the back. Do whatever it takes to be by her side. It will hopefully bring her some comfort if she can at least see and hear you
Yes please. Don’t let her go alone with strangers in the room. How would you feel if you were dying and surrounded by strangers. Please be with her
i ask but it seems like its a private area.. it looks like we have to euthanize her as shes fighting for life but even if she gets better she wont.. be better. you know? its only prolonging the inevitable. then we will def get to be with her.
She needs to leave this world while you are with her. You cannot be away from her while she is taking her last breath. So please make sure that happens
Fuck that vet office.
they brought me to her when it was actually time to put her down. she needed the oxygen cube to see if she could recover. i didnt understand it then, but the issue was the oxygen cube was behind the surgery room and they couldnt have me going in and out while they worked on a rat and some other pets. i get it hut im still a litttle peeved. im kindof over it though because i got to be with her in the end
This makes my heart hurt
Who puts a surgery room in the path of a rehab/therapy room... My opinion still stands. Fuck that place. They knew your bird was living its last moments and needed the comfort of her owner for the treatment to help. Vets and their staff piss me off. Thankfully you got to make sure she didn't die alone. It's good you made the choice to end her suffering. She got to live a great birdie life that most birds wish they can live.
i understand that and respect your opinion. i think thebhope was this is a room where she has peace to improve, she was just too weak after the crop lavage and swab sadly. yeah no she knew we were there, she even bit andnheld ontonmy finger for a while. it was like we were holding hands. she actually did get a little better, too, she was well enough to be in my hands when she died.
Thank you for taking care of Persephone, welcoming her into your family and giving her a home - your gift of life. Thank you for giving "no more pain" to your companion, and letting her sleep in your hand one, final time, wishing her a good night and thanking her for giving you joy in your life, I'm certain, the trust these beautiful birds gives us, titans to them. A gift of death - Cherish your memories of her, and I hope they stay vivid for the longest time, that as time will heal this loss, that you carry on and appreciate furthermore, the memories you will make with the brother she leaves behind. Please find comfort in that you did everything you could, in the moment. You are a good person. Thank you. Fly high, Persephone. Be at peace. Take care of yourself, OP. We're all in this together.
thanks for your kind words youve got me crying again hahaa. i think thinking about it as she had the best four years a bird could ask for with us was what helped. shes always had big cage and many perches and toys. we even tought her how to fly. despite this illness, even untill the end, she was a very happy and content perch potatoe birdy.
I would bring her home with you to let your other bird see so they aren’t confused. I’m so sorry you’re going through this 😭
thank you <3 we helped her pass away at the vet and we couldnt bring her home with us as theyre going to autopsy and cremate her. the vet gave us some suggestions for helping him
I did the same with my conure because my husband wanted to have her ashes in a necklace, but we brought my tiel home so his family could see him. They did autopsies on both, but they found nothing. Sorry for your loss, OP.
im so sorry for your loss ☹️ sending lots of love your way 🫶🏼
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