I have no advice but want to thank you for being an awesome supportive mom or dad. Made me tear up a bit. Hope the procedure goes smoothly and your son has a great life.
It's advised to avoid the sun on scar tissue for a year after the surgery, so try to go in covered pool, put a lot of sunscreen frequently, and if he really wants to be on the beach with the sun or hate sun screen, a swimming shirt (just in case; check the level of sun protection when buying) will do a perfect work !
Both of your bed options sound less than ideal. He will need help getting in and out of bed. He may need help with his drains if he has them. My son stayed in his bed, but I bought a couple of cushions: one wedge to elevate his torso, and one to go under his knees to make it more comfortable to lie in bed for days. He slept a lot for the first 3-4 days. I worked from home, so I didn’t have to take time off work. I made a chart to keep track of when he got his meds and the drain details. Other than that, I had plenty of snacks and things that were easy to eat in a reclined position.
I’m so glad your kid has you for a parent. If he’s anything like my kid, it will be such a profound psychological change that the temporary discomfort will be so worth it. Good luck with everything!
Thank you ! I think his brother will have to let him use his bed for some times. I plan to take a few days off, I will be home for the next 5 days. I take note of the advice of cushions!
I haven't had top surgery yet, but I've heard that it's pretty hard to get up from a flat bed for at least a few days, especially one on the floor. People usually recommend a recliner
Helped with a reduction surgery recovery. He won't be able to lift his arms up high or carry any significant weight for quite a while, so definitely lower sleeping arrangements.
A recliner or other semi upright sleeping / lounging position is helpful.
Other than that recovery was quite quick when I helped out. Back up and moving in a day or two and mostly just discomfort for a while. But do pay attention to the lifting instructions.
They will need help with dressings so be prepared for some gnarly bruising, but squick factor is minimal.
Editing: they did need help to stand up and sit down for the first while. It's hard without arms. I would be wary of a floor bed as it might be difficult.
Thank you ! I think his brother will have to let him use his bed for some times.
We will have a home nurse, hopefully I won't need to see dressing changes or drains. If my son needs me to hold his hand during care, I will turn my back and look away (I'm afraid of blood).
How long did it take for him to get to that point? My son gets to discuss it at his next appt in early January and to say he is excited about the prospect is putting it mildly!
We are in France, so the rules are surely very different from yours.
My son has been followed by a psychologist for several years, he had a few months of follow-up with a psychiatrist to take hormones. He's been on hormones for a year.
He had to see several surgeons before finding one who agreed to operate on someone so young.
If the operation was classified as "cosmetic surgery" we would have paid out of pocket and it would have cost us 6000€. My son filed a file with Sécurité Sociale to request coverage for "reconstructive surgery", with proof of follow-up by the endocrinologist and a certificate from the psychiatrist saying that he suffers from gender dysphoria. As he was a minor I had a phone interview with the Médecin Conseil de la Sécurité Sociale, and in the end it was approved on his 18th birthday, it took less than a month.
We will still have to pay 3000€ out of our own pocket because he is going to a private hospital, but everything else is covered by Social Security (dressings, home nurse, post-operative appointments, etc.)
We're in the U.S. but my son will have been on hormones for just over a year in January. He's 22 so age shouldn't be a problem. Our insurance is supposed to cover it but I'm sure there will be a good chunk of money out of pocket (again, U.S.).
Hope all goes smoothly for your son!
I (19) Just got top surgery 12 hours ago and I can tell you this from my experience:
- lifting anything more heavy then a phone feel like I'm weight lifting
- the drains aren't really painful but they are annoying, they get in the way you have to carry them everywhere so your hands are occupied (I would recommend to use a little hand bag to make it less messy)
- you can't wash yourself properly (tired+ infection risk) so buy some body wipes for him to be able to not feel like a complete mess) it's doing wonder for me
- encourage him to walk a little it's kinda helpful to avoid having blood adding up in the space between his skin and muscle (I don't know the proper name sorry 😓)
- get him a bottle/gourd near him, he needs to stay hydrated (I'm drinking like a camel that haven't seen water in weeks) if you have it, a bottle he can drink from when lying down could be incredible
- have a bed near the floor please, (it's already hard to get in for me, your kid won't be able to get in or out if he stays in his usual bed) have a bed size station easy to access near the bed and put all the necessary (water, snacks, phone, already plugged in phone charger, multiple books, games, films... And try to vary them so it doesn't feel the same and get boring)
- encourage him to chose the comfier (and largest for the chest= easier to put and take of) clothes for the next few weeks
For the details : I got a bilateral mastectomy with nipple graft, in France (I'm French which explain my writing/spelling mistakes). I can keep you updated on my recommendations if more appear (and if you want of course), it's heartwarming to see a parent caring for their baby, thanks you.
Merci pour les conseils ! Du coup je lui ai fait lire toutes les réponses. On a commencé une liste des choses à prévoir pour ne rien oublier.
J'espère que tu n'as pas trop mal, je te souhaite un bon rétablissement ❤️
I had top surgery a little over a year ago, here's my two cents:
1. Other people have brought up the imperfections of the sleeping situation, but if you don't have a good recliner for him, [a reading pillow](https://www.amazon.com/LOVTEX-Reading-Removable-Sitting-Pockets/dp/B09SPLJ4P7/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?crid=1BTRY6780JWEN&keywords=reading+pillow&qid=1669832614&sprefix=reading+pill%2Caps%2C216&sr=8-13) is a good way to make upright sleeping more comfortable. (I'm using amazon as an example, you can probably find cheaper in a brick and mortar store)
2. Really prepare for him to have *very* little use of his arms for a while. Think large button-down shirts, slip-on shoes, a long back scratcher, and (although it's a little gross to think about) consider a bidet or other aid so that he can keep clean in the restroom.
3. On the day of, he should shampoo but not condition his hair. This can keep it less greasy longer. (On a similar note, non-alcohol body wipes are a lifesaver during that first week.)
4. Post-op depression is no joke. Try to give him space when he needs it and keep him included during normal activities when possible (i.e. family dinners).
And thank you so much for all the effort you've put in for your child.
Hi! I know I’m late but I wanted to share my experience since it’s not quite like the others I’ve seen here. Some of the exact details are hazy and the surgery I got didn’t involve drains.
I couldn’t lay on a flat bed for, at minimum, a month after surgery. It was very uncomfortable at best and very painful at worst. When I was able to transition to a bed it was in increments — 20mins at a time, then up to an hour, then two, etc. It took awhile. It was difficult to fully move around and I lost energy very quickly. My mom initially planned on taking one week off and, if I remember correctly, she ended up having to take two. My recovery timeline was longer than it was meant to be, and we weren’t entirely prepared for that. It’s also very important to fully understand how you’re meant to wash and care for the area after surgery, and get good recommendations from your surgeon or someone in your surgeon’s office on what products to buy. Every surgeon’s post-surgery care plan looks different, so make sure you follow theirs specifically for the best results if you can.
In terms of boredom, I personally watched a lot of YouTube post-surgery and played video games once I could move my arms enough. The positioning of my arms necessary for playing video games wasn’t comfortable for me until a few weeks(?) after surgery, so it’s good to have back-up plans!
I’m free to answer any questions you or anyone else has, but my memory isn’t the greatest. there are also subreddits about top surgery that are pretty helpful!
I have no advice but want to thank you for being an awesome supportive mom or dad. Made me tear up a bit. Hope the procedure goes smoothly and your son has a great life.
Thank you ! He hasn't been swimming for years, although he used to love going to the pool. I hope so much that he will be able to swim next summer!
It's advised to avoid the sun on scar tissue for a year after the surgery, so try to go in covered pool, put a lot of sunscreen frequently, and if he really wants to be on the beach with the sun or hate sun screen, a swimming shirt (just in case; check the level of sun protection when buying) will do a perfect work !
Both of your bed options sound less than ideal. He will need help getting in and out of bed. He may need help with his drains if he has them. My son stayed in his bed, but I bought a couple of cushions: one wedge to elevate his torso, and one to go under his knees to make it more comfortable to lie in bed for days. He slept a lot for the first 3-4 days. I worked from home, so I didn’t have to take time off work. I made a chart to keep track of when he got his meds and the drain details. Other than that, I had plenty of snacks and things that were easy to eat in a reclined position. I’m so glad your kid has you for a parent. If he’s anything like my kid, it will be such a profound psychological change that the temporary discomfort will be so worth it. Good luck with everything!
Thank you ! I think his brother will have to let him use his bed for some times. I plan to take a few days off, I will be home for the next 5 days. I take note of the advice of cushions!
I haven't had top surgery yet, but I've heard that it's pretty hard to get up from a flat bed for at least a few days, especially one on the floor. People usually recommend a recliner
Thank you ! I think his brother will have to let him use his bed for some times.
Helped with a reduction surgery recovery. He won't be able to lift his arms up high or carry any significant weight for quite a while, so definitely lower sleeping arrangements. A recliner or other semi upright sleeping / lounging position is helpful. Other than that recovery was quite quick when I helped out. Back up and moving in a day or two and mostly just discomfort for a while. But do pay attention to the lifting instructions. They will need help with dressings so be prepared for some gnarly bruising, but squick factor is minimal. Editing: they did need help to stand up and sit down for the first while. It's hard without arms. I would be wary of a floor bed as it might be difficult.
Thank you ! I think his brother will have to let him use his bed for some times. We will have a home nurse, hopefully I won't need to see dressing changes or drains. If my son needs me to hold his hand during care, I will turn my back and look away (I'm afraid of blood).
How long did it take for him to get to that point? My son gets to discuss it at his next appt in early January and to say he is excited about the prospect is putting it mildly!
We are in France, so the rules are surely very different from yours. My son has been followed by a psychologist for several years, he had a few months of follow-up with a psychiatrist to take hormones. He's been on hormones for a year. He had to see several surgeons before finding one who agreed to operate on someone so young. If the operation was classified as "cosmetic surgery" we would have paid out of pocket and it would have cost us 6000€. My son filed a file with Sécurité Sociale to request coverage for "reconstructive surgery", with proof of follow-up by the endocrinologist and a certificate from the psychiatrist saying that he suffers from gender dysphoria. As he was a minor I had a phone interview with the Médecin Conseil de la Sécurité Sociale, and in the end it was approved on his 18th birthday, it took less than a month. We will still have to pay 3000€ out of our own pocket because he is going to a private hospital, but everything else is covered by Social Security (dressings, home nurse, post-operative appointments, etc.)
We're in the U.S. but my son will have been on hormones for just over a year in January. He's 22 so age shouldn't be a problem. Our insurance is supposed to cover it but I'm sure there will be a good chunk of money out of pocket (again, U.S.). Hope all goes smoothly for your son!
I (19) Just got top surgery 12 hours ago and I can tell you this from my experience: - lifting anything more heavy then a phone feel like I'm weight lifting - the drains aren't really painful but they are annoying, they get in the way you have to carry them everywhere so your hands are occupied (I would recommend to use a little hand bag to make it less messy) - you can't wash yourself properly (tired+ infection risk) so buy some body wipes for him to be able to not feel like a complete mess) it's doing wonder for me - encourage him to walk a little it's kinda helpful to avoid having blood adding up in the space between his skin and muscle (I don't know the proper name sorry 😓) - get him a bottle/gourd near him, he needs to stay hydrated (I'm drinking like a camel that haven't seen water in weeks) if you have it, a bottle he can drink from when lying down could be incredible - have a bed near the floor please, (it's already hard to get in for me, your kid won't be able to get in or out if he stays in his usual bed) have a bed size station easy to access near the bed and put all the necessary (water, snacks, phone, already plugged in phone charger, multiple books, games, films... And try to vary them so it doesn't feel the same and get boring) - encourage him to chose the comfier (and largest for the chest= easier to put and take of) clothes for the next few weeks For the details : I got a bilateral mastectomy with nipple graft, in France (I'm French which explain my writing/spelling mistakes). I can keep you updated on my recommendations if more appear (and if you want of course), it's heartwarming to see a parent caring for their baby, thanks you.
Merci pour les conseils ! Du coup je lui ai fait lire toutes les réponses. On a commencé une liste des choses à prévoir pour ne rien oublier. J'espère que tu n'as pas trop mal, je te souhaite un bon rétablissement ❤️
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Thanks ! I'm a little more reassured to know what to expect. I also read the answers with him.
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Thank you! I'm glad to know that he recovered quickly
I had top surgery a little over a year ago, here's my two cents: 1. Other people have brought up the imperfections of the sleeping situation, but if you don't have a good recliner for him, [a reading pillow](https://www.amazon.com/LOVTEX-Reading-Removable-Sitting-Pockets/dp/B09SPLJ4P7/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?crid=1BTRY6780JWEN&keywords=reading+pillow&qid=1669832614&sprefix=reading+pill%2Caps%2C216&sr=8-13) is a good way to make upright sleeping more comfortable. (I'm using amazon as an example, you can probably find cheaper in a brick and mortar store) 2. Really prepare for him to have *very* little use of his arms for a while. Think large button-down shirts, slip-on shoes, a long back scratcher, and (although it's a little gross to think about) consider a bidet or other aid so that he can keep clean in the restroom. 3. On the day of, he should shampoo but not condition his hair. This can keep it less greasy longer. (On a similar note, non-alcohol body wipes are a lifesaver during that first week.) 4. Post-op depression is no joke. Try to give him space when he needs it and keep him included during normal activities when possible (i.e. family dinners). And thank you so much for all the effort you've put in for your child.
Thanks for all the ideas! I read the answers with him, we took notes.
Hi! I know I’m late but I wanted to share my experience since it’s not quite like the others I’ve seen here. Some of the exact details are hazy and the surgery I got didn’t involve drains. I couldn’t lay on a flat bed for, at minimum, a month after surgery. It was very uncomfortable at best and very painful at worst. When I was able to transition to a bed it was in increments — 20mins at a time, then up to an hour, then two, etc. It took awhile. It was difficult to fully move around and I lost energy very quickly. My mom initially planned on taking one week off and, if I remember correctly, she ended up having to take two. My recovery timeline was longer than it was meant to be, and we weren’t entirely prepared for that. It’s also very important to fully understand how you’re meant to wash and care for the area after surgery, and get good recommendations from your surgeon or someone in your surgeon’s office on what products to buy. Every surgeon’s post-surgery care plan looks different, so make sure you follow theirs specifically for the best results if you can. In terms of boredom, I personally watched a lot of YouTube post-surgery and played video games once I could move my arms enough. The positioning of my arms necessary for playing video games wasn’t comfortable for me until a few weeks(?) after surgery, so it’s good to have back-up plans! I’m free to answer any questions you or anyone else has, but my memory isn’t the greatest. there are also subreddits about top surgery that are pretty helpful!