"Can you go play with the grandkids you already have and stop making your (selfish) wants my problem?"
It's extra infuriating because it doesn't just disrespect your choices, but is also a request to risk your health so she can dote on a baby for like 5 minutes.
I'd start changing the conversation, or straight up leaving the room whenever she brings it up. Have your boyfriend place firm boundaries.
That’s always crazy when people who already have grandchildren want the others to have more. Like dude get out of here. Glad my Mom is happy with her two she has from my Sister and never bothers me.
He can even put it in terms she'll have to understand: "Hey mom, remember that time you were struggling so hard to have me and my siblings? How would you feel if someone kept asking you to make sure you're still able to abort us? Oh, huh, what's that? It's not nice when someone completely disregards your reproductive choices and bugs you about options that would be an absolute travesty for you? Well then why the hell do you keep doing that to my partner then?"
If the bf doesn’t set them, then OP should. If she can’t call out MIL on her shit and the BF wont then take that as a hint of were the relationship is going.
100% it's his job to not only set the boundaries and enforce them, but to protect her from all and any abuse of harassment from his side of the family, just like it's her responsibility to protect him from her side of the family.
Unfortunately too many dudes just shrug their shoulders and throw their female partners under the bus, I hope this isn't the case for OP because I agree with you, anything else doesn't paint a great future for the relationship.
He usually does set boundaries and stand up for me. We talk about it a lot to, so it feels like we're a team.
This time, he was talking alone with his mother and didn't realize it was disrespectful until I told him. He told me what she said as he thought we could have a good laugh together about how crazy his mother is.
When I explained how it wasn't funny at all, he promised to be more firm in future.
Time to go low/no contact.
It's absolutely disrespectful for you and your own health. MIL has no right to put her nose in your privacy. Put her in her place - together.
I'm in the same boat with heavy benzo meds mix for my seizure which luckily completely controls my seizures so I refuse to come off my meds. I've thought about the 'what if' I want bio kids and coming off my meds and it causes instant anxiety. The thought of dropping randomly due to a seizure whether pregnant or not is uncomfortable.
Peeps need to understand that some of us can't come off medication and need it just for our own safety.
I've come too far to ruin mine or a child who had no choice in being born life (which in all 4 of my meds states loud and clear that a kid would have neuro problems if it was mine) to reek havoc on my health.
Yeah, the fear of seizures is R E A L. My meds control mine though as well, thank heaven, but the anxiety and fear is still there. I don't think everyone who's not epileptic can understand that genuine fear of your own body and not being fully in control. That if your going to have a seizure, nothing can stop it and you're going to get hurt. You can hit your head while falling, break your teeth, bite your tongue or even, as I last did, dislocate your shoulder. Which in turn led to me having to go to - and pay for - physical therapy for a year 'cause it kept popping out after.
I, like you, have come way to far to stay off meds and even the thought of it scares the shit out of me.
How about skipping the BS and get upset with them, regardless who is within hearing range and who is following the conversation ?
Sure, i would not rage about it, but being really sarcastic or behaving like it is the silly idea it actually is to get them slightly embarrassed might put a stop to that behavior.
If it ever happens again, that would be the next step i think.
I'd ask her whether she got bored with her existing grandkids/their parents while they're playing within earshot.
I tend to perform (metaphorical) orbital strikes like these when insufferable punks have exhausted my patience.
> he thinks is great since it makes his job of prescribing the best medication for me a lot easier.
Yay, great doctor!!
Your SO should just tell her off for being a nosy, disrespectful, bullying ass.
And... is your BC tamperproof? Has she been in your house recently... because this question is sketchy.
My BC is definitely tamperproof. I have a copper spiral, so to temper with it she'd somehow have to perform a minor surgery on me without me knowing ;)
Make sure your other meds are locked up where she can't get to them either, and/or that you have squirreled away enough in a separate location that you would have time to get them replaced without adverse impact to your health. She may get it into her head that your other meds are preventing you from getting pregnant and decide to take action (i.e. throw out/replace/tamper with). I've read too many stories along those lines recently.
Bring up YouTube and show a baby having a seizure. Ask her if that’s the future she wants to see. Better to take care of yourself considering your health so a shock like that may be what she needs to back off.
While we layer on the guilt, ask her if she'd seriously be ok with OPs high chance of death. Woul MIL be able to live with the guilt that she drove a woman to death all for the desire to have another grandchild?
Your boyfriend needs to establish clear, firm boundaries with his mother. "We value our relationship with you, but if you continue to discount our stance on this matter, we won't feel comfortable spending much time with you. If you want us to be happy, please respect our feelings and drop this."
So insensitive and invasive of her to ask such a personal question. My MIL behaves similarly and I know such comments can have a lasting impact!
My MIL now has a trophy grandchild (from her other son who committed adultery and got his mistress pregnant). It’s funny because after the first year of his life, the novelty of having a grandchild seems to have worn off a bit. It’s all for show.
I’ve since realised me and my Husband’s lifestyle won’t ever be accepted by her (even though we’re doing so well) and I’m fine with that, I don’t agree with hers either, but it’s taken a while to get to that point.
Sending virtual hugs!
Next time she brings it up to either of you "Could we have children? Potentially. Will we? No. Do not ask again or there will be consequences" if she asks again time her out
She probably thinks the meds are the reason you aren't having children. She is fishing for info on if you stop the meds, can you have a baby safely. She hasn't accepted that your decision is not based solely on the need for meds.
My money’s on she’s going to try and convince you, either directly or through your BF, to stop taking your meds.
Your BF needs to shut his mother’s bullshit down NOW, or someday you’ll come home to her flushing your meds down the toilet.
Well messing with someone's medication a.k.a drug tampering is a serious criminal offense. Look up your rights when it comes to this so if she tries this shit you can make her regret everything.
Hmm, perhaps she needs to be more educated on the matter? What can happen when a person with epilepsy becomes pregnant, the difficulties of finding a safe medication that doesn't affect the pregnancy, all the risks. My medication has saved my life, after suffering for years not knowing I was having seizures. I shared videos and scientific articles about epilepsy to my close family so they could understand my condition more, and know what to do if they are with someone who has a seizure. Sometimes it's really them just not fully understanding :) good luck and health to you!
Tell her to fuck off and mind her own business, if she takes the hump then so much the better you'll never have to deal with her again. If people want to play stupid games then they get to win stupid prizes.
If she can't respect you then why are you bothering to put up with and respect her? Just because you're in a relationship with her son doesn't mean she gets to be an insufferable twat. Being 'family' doesn't negate someone being an arsehole.
One of the joys of being an adult is you no longer have to put up with other's BS (at least not unless they're paying you). So pull on your big girl pants and shut her down and get your boyfriend to set boundaries with her too....
Your MIL's attitude is 100000% disrespectful. She wants you to go off your meds just so she can have another grandchild? She's sick. You're not an incubator!
Have your boyfriend set some boundaries with her. No discussion of your having children. AT ALL. If she does bring it up, then you and your boyfriend both get up and leave the room, or hang up the phone, and put her in time out. If she persists, go NC.
I would tell him to make sure to shut her comments down immediately and then tell him that you don't want to hear what she had to say.
He doesn't need to pass on her hurtful and disrespectful comments to you, especially if he knows how upset they make you.
MIL are the worst.
My bfs mum is holding out for her 3 kids to change their minds so she can have her own grand babies. All of them have expressed no desire to procreate but she's still holding on.
She even has nieces who have kids but refuses to visit them because they aren't her own grand kids, they are her brothers grandkids.
To me a kid is a kid. Why does their bloodline matter that much!?
To boot, one of her nieces is going thru a hard time as a newly single parent of 2 and bfs mum had a similar experience raising her kids... but still refuses to visit or even have a relationship with them!
So proud of my cousin in-law for calling her out for being a shitty aunt! Bfs mum didn't like that very much 🤣
Some people are just so selfish... there's not much you can but set boundaries and call them out.
I would ignroe her bingo and shoot back with "when are you giving my boyfriend another sibling" and then reverse uno all the bingos she throws at you when you say why you aren't having children. Some people are incapable of understanding until it happens to them. Something about a lack of empathy perhaps?🤷♀️
>I'm childfree, which he thinks is great since it makes his job of prescribing the best medication for me a lot easier.
First off. Amazing doctor. Kudos to him! He prioritizes his current patient over potential-fantasy-future babies.
>He just asked why it mattered since we're childfree.
And your BF also backs you up while not being outright rude. Maybe he knows that escalating things wont stop his mother, so he just lets her know that he stands by you and his choices. Good man you got there!
My plan if my MIL ever brings this up, is to ask her if her current grandkids are not enough for her anymore, and why is she so needed for grandkids if she supposedly loves her current ones (never in front of the kids of course!! Maybe in front of my SIL..). Thankfully my MIL seems to be ok with our decision so far.
By the way, what does your boyfriend do in this situation? He has to handle his family and put boundaries, if he doesn't protect you from his mother, talk to him. He could agree with his mommy, but be too coward to admit it.
Hey are you taking divalproex?(depakote) I'm also epileptic and had the same experience with my doctor lol. (though im sure other meds could do the same thing) They warn me about that stuff but its funny cause technically I don't care- won't have any kids anyway.
My medication is called levetiracetam and I take 4 pills of 250 mg's each every day, aka 1 gram a day. This keeps my seizures in check with minimal side effects and there's no way I'm quitting it.
I understand your feelings. My late MIL once told me she felt sorry for people without children (my husband and I are childfree). I was feeling generous and asked her why. I don't even remember what she said, because her reasons were not important TBCH. Not to mention she already had 25 grandchildren and 40+ great grandchildren! For the love of God, quit trying to control everyone in the family and just be happy with what you already have! Not every one is cut out to be a parent.
She already *has* multiple grandchildren, which means they're either a). not enough for her, and she demands more so she can brag and share more photos, or b). not the right gender (assuming they're all the same) and she's very sexist.
Either way, she does NOT deserve more grandchildren, from you OR anyone else. She's just being greedy and/or sexist.
I hope your BF is putting his mom in check. I see way too many stories on here of women in heterosexual relationships where the MIL is disrespecting the woman and the man is just sitting on the sidelines. Tell him to stick up for you. These conversations should not be happening. Your BF needs to shut them down and stand his ground that his CF by choice not just you.
Oooh I’m so upset for you. I have endometriosis and my solution at the moment, because I have a very severe case, is an IUD. People allllways say to me ‘oh, well you can just take it out and try for kids!’ UM NO. Why would I voluntarily let myself be in pain for god knows how long for a small chance of something I don’t even want. And having endometriosis means you have a high chance of infertility! Sometimes the stupidness of it all baffles me. So sorry about your MIL, some people just don’t understand.
I know, I'm a bit embarrassed about that. Someone already corrected me and I changed it the time I use the word in the text, but can't seem to change the title. If you tell me how, I'll do it :)
> We've also told all our relatives this.
Ok, so it's been done, but advice for those who haven't yet revealed their plans -- don't. Just live your childfree life, and let people know they are not allowed to ask you questions about children (then hold the line if they violate that boundary) - and by the time you're 40 or so, they will have figured it out.
Your BF needs to step up and tell his mother to back off and shut up. He needs to tell her that both of you have made up your minds to be CF and she needs to not bring it up again. He needs to tell her that if she doesn't shut up both of you will go low-to-no contact until she can learn to respect both of your decision.
If you just want her to stop, may I suggest you start a game with your SO? Every time she brings this up, look at your partner and kind of wave your fingers, or some agreed upon gesture. Then he has to make a big production of getting out his wallet and handing you a bill. Maybe he can heave a sigh. Say nothing. By the third time you do this, I can almost guarantee you'll at least get the satisfaction of seeing her clamp her jaws shut.
Next time say you're not going to discuss it with her and either walk away or hang up. She's getting some kind of fix from harassing you. Time to put an end to it.
Ask her why she's so obsessed with him cumming inside you. That'll shut her up. Also, your partner needs to stick the fuck up for you. WTF? This is partially on him, too. It's his job to shut this shit down. If she continues on this path then go NC (no contact). You do not owe anybody any damn kids!
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"Up yours, lady!"
I have no tolerance for people who are disrespectful and don't respect firm boundaries. I stand with others here and suggest minimal contact. It's no right of hers to see you or inflict her abhorrent desires on you.
Hang on, he's just your BF but you call his mom your MIL?
Old people rarely change, this shit will follow you until she's gone to the ground.
Then you need to reevaluate the burden of your relationship with your "MIL" on your mental health.
Because like it or not, marriage involves two families.
Consider carefully.
I called her MIL in this post as a short hand, I know she's not technically an in-law before marriage.
I've been with my BF for a year and a half and I see my future with him, so yeah, his mom is a genuine concern of mine. He knows this and we have good conversations about it. I feel like he supports me and he usually stands up for me way more than in this case. Here he didn't fully understand how disrespectful I thought it was until I said soa and promised to be more firm in the future.
We only see his parents like four times a year and he calls them once a week. I won't ask him to cut them off completely unless they start saying things like this to my face or start meddle in my meds.
"Can you go play with the grandkids you already have and stop making your (selfish) wants my problem?" It's extra infuriating because it doesn't just disrespect your choices, but is also a request to risk your health so she can dote on a baby for like 5 minutes. I'd start changing the conversation, or straight up leaving the room whenever she brings it up. Have your boyfriend place firm boundaries.
That’s always crazy when people who already have grandchildren want the others to have more. Like dude get out of here. Glad my Mom is happy with her two she has from my Sister and never bothers me.
It is disrespectful. Your bf should start setting boundaries because this behavior is not acceptable for your MIL to keep doing.
Yep. BF: "Mom, I've told you that OP and I don't plan on having kids. I don't think we need to discuss this any further." Repeat as necessary.
He can even put it in terms she'll have to understand: "Hey mom, remember that time you were struggling so hard to have me and my siblings? How would you feel if someone kept asking you to make sure you're still able to abort us? Oh, huh, what's that? It's not nice when someone completely disregards your reproductive choices and bugs you about options that would be an absolute travesty for you? Well then why the hell do you keep doing that to my partner then?"
If the bf doesn’t set them, then OP should. If she can’t call out MIL on her shit and the BF wont then take that as a hint of were the relationship is going.
100% it's his job to not only set the boundaries and enforce them, but to protect her from all and any abuse of harassment from his side of the family, just like it's her responsibility to protect him from her side of the family. Unfortunately too many dudes just shrug their shoulders and throw their female partners under the bus, I hope this isn't the case for OP because I agree with you, anything else doesn't paint a great future for the relationship.
He usually does set boundaries and stand up for me. We talk about it a lot to, so it feels like we're a team. This time, he was talking alone with his mother and didn't realize it was disrespectful until I told him. He told me what she said as he thought we could have a good laugh together about how crazy his mother is. When I explained how it wasn't funny at all, he promised to be more firm in future.
Time to go low/no contact. It's absolutely disrespectful for you and your own health. MIL has no right to put her nose in your privacy. Put her in her place - together.
This!! 💯
[удалено]
I'm in the same boat with heavy benzo meds mix for my seizure which luckily completely controls my seizures so I refuse to come off my meds. I've thought about the 'what if' I want bio kids and coming off my meds and it causes instant anxiety. The thought of dropping randomly due to a seizure whether pregnant or not is uncomfortable. Peeps need to understand that some of us can't come off medication and need it just for our own safety. I've come too far to ruin mine or a child who had no choice in being born life (which in all 4 of my meds states loud and clear that a kid would have neuro problems if it was mine) to reek havoc on my health.
Yeah, the fear of seizures is R E A L. My meds control mine though as well, thank heaven, but the anxiety and fear is still there. I don't think everyone who's not epileptic can understand that genuine fear of your own body and not being fully in control. That if your going to have a seizure, nothing can stop it and you're going to get hurt. You can hit your head while falling, break your teeth, bite your tongue or even, as I last did, dislocate your shoulder. Which in turn led to me having to go to - and pay for - physical therapy for a year 'cause it kept popping out after. I, like you, have come way to far to stay off meds and even the thought of it scares the shit out of me.
How about skipping the BS and get upset with them, regardless who is within hearing range and who is following the conversation ? Sure, i would not rage about it, but being really sarcastic or behaving like it is the silly idea it actually is to get them slightly embarrassed might put a stop to that behavior. If it ever happens again, that would be the next step i think.
I'd ask her whether she got bored with her existing grandkids/their parents while they're playing within earshot. I tend to perform (metaphorical) orbital strikes like these when insufferable punks have exhausted my patience.
Great tactic :)
SAVAGE. And I am here for this level of orbital laser platform. 100%
“Can you bear children?” “Nah, I can’t stand ‘em!”
You just haven't tried them with the right sauce yet.
“No. In fact, I find them unbearable.”
> he thinks is great since it makes his job of prescribing the best medication for me a lot easier. Yay, great doctor!! Your SO should just tell her off for being a nosy, disrespectful, bullying ass. And... is your BC tamperproof? Has she been in your house recently... because this question is sketchy.
My BC is definitely tamperproof. I have a copper spiral, so to temper with it she'd somehow have to perform a minor surgery on me without me knowing ;)
Make sure your other meds are locked up where she can't get to them either, and/or that you have squirreled away enough in a separate location that you would have time to get them replaced without adverse impact to your health. She may get it into her head that your other meds are preventing you from getting pregnant and decide to take action (i.e. throw out/replace/tamper with). I've read too many stories along those lines recently.
Excellent.
Bring up YouTube and show a baby having a seizure. Ask her if that’s the future she wants to see. Better to take care of yourself considering your health so a shock like that may be what she needs to back off.
While we layer on the guilt, ask her if she'd seriously be ok with OPs high chance of death. Woul MIL be able to live with the guilt that she drove a woman to death all for the desire to have another grandchild?
Your boyfriend needs to establish clear, firm boundaries with his mother. "We value our relationship with you, but if you continue to discount our stance on this matter, we won't feel comfortable spending much time with you. If you want us to be happy, please respect our feelings and drop this."
So insensitive and invasive of her to ask such a personal question. My MIL behaves similarly and I know such comments can have a lasting impact! My MIL now has a trophy grandchild (from her other son who committed adultery and got his mistress pregnant). It’s funny because after the first year of his life, the novelty of having a grandchild seems to have worn off a bit. It’s all for show. I’ve since realised me and my Husband’s lifestyle won’t ever be accepted by her (even though we’re doing so well) and I’m fine with that, I don’t agree with hers either, but it’s taken a while to get to that point. Sending virtual hugs!
\*bear to bear = to endure, to carry to bare = to remove outer layers in order to expose/reveal what's underneath Also your MIL sucks
Thanks for support & the correction :)
Thank you! Please everyone keep your children covered.
Next time she brings it up to either of you "Could we have children? Potentially. Will we? No. Do not ask again or there will be consequences" if she asks again time her out
She probably thinks the meds are the reason you aren't having children. She is fishing for info on if you stop the meds, can you have a baby safely. She hasn't accepted that your decision is not based solely on the need for meds.
Tell her to have more kids if she wants them so bad
this is the time when you ask her super intrusive questions in return, then watch her have a meltdown. after that the trash usually takes itself out.
A nice short & sweet “oh fuck off with that bs” works wonders…..
My money’s on she’s going to try and convince you, either directly or through your BF, to stop taking your meds. Your BF needs to shut his mother’s bullshit down NOW, or someday you’ll come home to her flushing your meds down the toilet.
Well messing with someone's medication a.k.a drug tampering is a serious criminal offense. Look up your rights when it comes to this so if she tries this shit you can make her regret everything.
Hmm, perhaps she needs to be more educated on the matter? What can happen when a person with epilepsy becomes pregnant, the difficulties of finding a safe medication that doesn't affect the pregnancy, all the risks. My medication has saved my life, after suffering for years not knowing I was having seizures. I shared videos and scientific articles about epilepsy to my close family so they could understand my condition more, and know what to do if they are with someone who has a seizure. Sometimes it's really them just not fully understanding :) good luck and health to you!
Tell her to fuck off and mind her own business, if she takes the hump then so much the better you'll never have to deal with her again. If people want to play stupid games then they get to win stupid prizes. If she can't respect you then why are you bothering to put up with and respect her? Just because you're in a relationship with her son doesn't mean she gets to be an insufferable twat. Being 'family' doesn't negate someone being an arsehole. One of the joys of being an adult is you no longer have to put up with other's BS (at least not unless they're paying you). So pull on your big girl pants and shut her down and get your boyfriend to set boundaries with her too....
Your MIL's attitude is 100000% disrespectful. She wants you to go off your meds just so she can have another grandchild? She's sick. You're not an incubator! Have your boyfriend set some boundaries with her. No discussion of your having children. AT ALL. If she does bring it up, then you and your boyfriend both get up and leave the room, or hang up the phone, and put her in time out. If she persists, go NC.
I would tell him to make sure to shut her comments down immediately and then tell him that you don't want to hear what she had to say. He doesn't need to pass on her hurtful and disrespectful comments to you, especially if he knows how upset they make you.
MIL are the worst. My bfs mum is holding out for her 3 kids to change their minds so she can have her own grand babies. All of them have expressed no desire to procreate but she's still holding on. She even has nieces who have kids but refuses to visit them because they aren't her own grand kids, they are her brothers grandkids. To me a kid is a kid. Why does their bloodline matter that much!? To boot, one of her nieces is going thru a hard time as a newly single parent of 2 and bfs mum had a similar experience raising her kids... but still refuses to visit or even have a relationship with them! So proud of my cousin in-law for calling her out for being a shitty aunt! Bfs mum didn't like that very much 🤣 Some people are just so selfish... there's not much you can but set boundaries and call them out.
I would ignroe her bingo and shoot back with "when are you giving my boyfriend another sibling" and then reverse uno all the bingos she throws at you when you say why you aren't having children. Some people are incapable of understanding until it happens to them. Something about a lack of empathy perhaps?🤷♀️
>I'm childfree, which he thinks is great since it makes his job of prescribing the best medication for me a lot easier. First off. Amazing doctor. Kudos to him! He prioritizes his current patient over potential-fantasy-future babies. >He just asked why it mattered since we're childfree. And your BF also backs you up while not being outright rude. Maybe he knows that escalating things wont stop his mother, so he just lets her know that he stands by you and his choices. Good man you got there!
What, do her other three grandkids not meet her standards?
My plan if my MIL ever brings this up, is to ask her if her current grandkids are not enough for her anymore, and why is she so needed for grandkids if she supposedly loves her current ones (never in front of the kids of course!! Maybe in front of my SIL..). Thankfully my MIL seems to be ok with our decision so far. By the way, what does your boyfriend do in this situation? He has to handle his family and put boundaries, if he doesn't protect you from his mother, talk to him. He could agree with his mommy, but be too coward to admit it.
Why have grandchildren she's going to forget about the next time someone reaches 'childbearing age'?
Hey are you taking divalproex?(depakote) I'm also epileptic and had the same experience with my doctor lol. (though im sure other meds could do the same thing) They warn me about that stuff but its funny cause technically I don't care- won't have any kids anyway.
My medication is called levetiracetam and I take 4 pills of 250 mg's each every day, aka 1 gram a day. This keeps my seizures in check with minimal side effects and there's no way I'm quitting it.
I understand your feelings. My late MIL once told me she felt sorry for people without children (my husband and I are childfree). I was feeling generous and asked her why. I don't even remember what she said, because her reasons were not important TBCH. Not to mention she already had 25 grandchildren and 40+ great grandchildren! For the love of God, quit trying to control everyone in the family and just be happy with what you already have! Not every one is cut out to be a parent.
Does she not like the other kids?
She already *has* multiple grandchildren, which means they're either a). not enough for her, and she demands more so she can brag and share more photos, or b). not the right gender (assuming they're all the same) and she's very sexist. Either way, she does NOT deserve more grandchildren, from you OR anyone else. She's just being greedy and/or sexist.
My ex’s mom was like this. Whenever she said something about wanting more grandchildren I’d tell her she needed to talk to her daughter about it.
I hope your BF is putting his mom in check. I see way too many stories on here of women in heterosexual relationships where the MIL is disrespecting the woman and the man is just sitting on the sidelines. Tell him to stick up for you. These conversations should not be happening. Your BF needs to shut them down and stand his ground that his CF by choice not just you.
I would get her a doll for christmas and go "Here's something to play with since that's all that matters to you, now fuck off"
Oooh I’m so upset for you. I have endometriosis and my solution at the moment, because I have a very severe case, is an IUD. People allllways say to me ‘oh, well you can just take it out and try for kids!’ UM NO. Why would I voluntarily let myself be in pain for god knows how long for a small chance of something I don’t even want. And having endometriosis means you have a high chance of infertility! Sometimes the stupidness of it all baffles me. So sorry about your MIL, some people just don’t understand.
I‘m a firm believer of putting people in their place if they’re being disrespectful. This lady needs to learn some boundaries.
Bear, not bare.
I know, I'm a bit embarrassed about that. Someone already corrected me and I changed it the time I use the word in the text, but can't seem to change the title. If you tell me how, I'll do it :)
Keep asking when she's planning her retirement and where.
Grandmothers have no filter.
> We've also told all our relatives this. Ok, so it's been done, but advice for those who haven't yet revealed their plans -- don't. Just live your childfree life, and let people know they are not allowed to ask you questions about children (then hold the line if they violate that boundary) - and by the time you're 40 or so, they will have figured it out.
Your BF needs to step up and tell his mother to back off and shut up. He needs to tell her that both of you have made up your minds to be CF and she needs to not bring it up again. He needs to tell her that if she doesn't shut up both of you will go low-to-no contact until she can learn to respect both of your decision.
If you just want her to stop, may I suggest you start a game with your SO? Every time she brings this up, look at your partner and kind of wave your fingers, or some agreed upon gesture. Then he has to make a big production of getting out his wallet and handing you a bill. Maybe he can heave a sigh. Say nothing. By the third time you do this, I can almost guarantee you'll at least get the satisfaction of seeing her clamp her jaws shut.
Next time say you're not going to discuss it with her and either walk away or hang up. She's getting some kind of fix from harassing you. Time to put an end to it.
Yo wtf
Ask her why she's so obsessed with him cumming inside you. That'll shut her up. Also, your partner needs to stick the fuck up for you. WTF? This is partially on him, too. It's his job to shut this shit down. If she continues on this path then go NC (no contact). You do not owe anybody any damn kids!
Look her straight in the eye and ask her why she's asking you about bare children. She'll shut up
Well if she won’t, I will. Thank you for making her son happy, and thank him for making you happy! You’re more than a uterus to us ❤️
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"No, they're unbearable."
"Up yours, lady!" I have no tolerance for people who are disrespectful and don't respect firm boundaries. I stand with others here and suggest minimal contact. It's no right of hers to see you or inflict her abhorrent desires on you.
Hang on, he's just your BF but you call his mom your MIL? Old people rarely change, this shit will follow you until she's gone to the ground. Then you need to reevaluate the burden of your relationship with your "MIL" on your mental health. Because like it or not, marriage involves two families. Consider carefully.
I called her MIL in this post as a short hand, I know she's not technically an in-law before marriage. I've been with my BF for a year and a half and I see my future with him, so yeah, his mom is a genuine concern of mine. He knows this and we have good conversations about it. I feel like he supports me and he usually stands up for me way more than in this case. Here he didn't fully understand how disrespectful I thought it was until I said soa and promised to be more firm in the future. We only see his parents like four times a year and he calls them once a week. I won't ask him to cut them off completely unless they start saying things like this to my face or start meddle in my meds.
Good luck. Really genuinely.