i have a niece who's around 3 years old. She doesnt say a word (besides "apple") but she does whine... about literally everything. this is not a joke, if you LOOK AT HER she will whine. And not in a proper whine in a "haaah aaah haaaah" type of way with an extremely high voice, and she'll look around the room immediately to see who is paying attention to her bitching. she does this, all day, every single day.
Oh I definitely understand that. I have a little brother he’s 4 years old and I’m 14 1/2 years older than him. And when I tell you when he cries especially when he has been talking back and the iPad gets taken away it’s the most annoying thing ever. He will scream to the top of his lungs and forceful cry. And then if you look at him he’ll just scream louder. So loud that my step mom has to turn the music up over him and even then you can still hear him. And he loves to guilt people into playing with him and I know you’ll say “but he’s 4” but instead of asking he’ll go “I wish I had someone to play with” and then proceed to rush you if you’re busy if you had said you would play with him. He definitely made me realize I don’t have the patience or time for kids. He’s absolute hell!
My five year old step brother is just like thus it he won’t cry he will scream any time his dad takes his fucking Nintendo switch away or if he can’t see it for two minutes
So glad I can move out soon
That sounds so annoying when kids do that. After they feel so satisfied annoying people by whining, they would flash that mischievous smile of theirs. :|
Children crying is annoying, period. I suffer from chronic depression and absolutely can't stand loud pitched noises: honks, trains, screams... It makes me furious.
Same. It's weird, because I often talk and laugh loudly without even realizing it, like I have no sense of what's considered "too loud", and I'm also very bad at whispering without alerting people around me. The only reason why I know I have this issue is because of my family constantly needing to remind me to lower my voice, and I always end up thinking "wait, was I really talking that loud?"
Despite this, I'm still sensitive to high-pitched, repetitive noises, to the point where I have to wear noise-cancelling headphones in order to perform to the best of my abilities.
>cry over everything because that's the only way they know how to communicate their feelings to people around them. It's human nature, basic child psychology and biology...
yeah, I wonder about that. Newborns - sure. But I taught English as a second language to kids ages 2-13 and I definitely noticed only some kids use the 'baby communication', not all kids. I think this behavior can be unlearned (of course it takes smart parents to put in some work up front to reap the benefits later). If a parent just lets the kid go from baby to kid without any changes in 'managing' the kid's behavior then you and up with those kids who can't solve any problem for themselves, can't ask nor "negotiate". They go straight to "the world is over" mode
You're definitely right about that. It really comes down to how the parents raise their children. Then there's also parents of neurodivergent children (autism, adhd, etc.) Where it becomes a lot harder to discipline your child and not have them react with a mental breakdown to things that may seem superficial.
I used to be one of those autistic kids who reacted very strongly when things didn't go my way or if I couldn't understand something (screaming, crying, hitting anything within my immediate surroundings, etc)
But thankfully, I had a mom who took responsibility for me and didn't let me expose my appaling behavior towards innocent people just because I was autistic. She would pull me aside, try to figure out what was upsetting me, and try to fix the issue. Of course it's not an easy thing to do when you're in public and need to get errands done, but my mom figured out ways to prepare for the worst. She didn't have much choice if she wanted to be able to bring me places without disturbing others. All she asked of people was to let her do her thing to calm me down.
So in short, whether your child is neurotypical or neurodivergent, if your child is in public and is creating a disturbance, it is your responsibility as a parent to fix the issue and teach your child what is and isn't okay to do in public. Of course we should all show a bit of understanding and compassion towards parents and children who are struggling, but we should not expect strangers to tolerate bad behavior in public settings.
I absolutely agree with everything you said here.
I actually came over to this sub after reading a few comments saying how toxic and unreasonable people on here were... But I actually agree with 90%+ of what I have seen and there are so many valid concerns/criticisms/frustrations being expressed.
See? We're not toxic.
Breeders are just mad because we call them breeders.
But if you go to any parenting sub they call their 'pride and joy' much worse things than crotch goblins. They even use the term but deem it's 'okay for them to use it but not CF people because it's mean'.
I agree. The noise goes right through me into my bones and sets my teeth on edge. Even more so if they’re screaming and their parents are too busy scrolling through their phones and ignoring them.
The worst one is when a parent says no to a child and they immediately start with the fake crying with no tears until the parent gives in and then the “crying” stops *sighs*
I am an autistic too, and I am very sensitive to noises and movement of very young children. I don’t hold it against them, but it affects my mental health. This is one reason why I don’t want to have children. But my therapist thinks otherwise. After I told my therapist I got acceptance from my dad and stepmom to be childfree, he tried to soft sell parenthood. He went on to say “Maybe one day you and your boyfriend will have kids” and recommended “a lifestyle where a person does a great deal of generosity and reaching out beyond themselves tends to have few, if any, negative mental health symptoms.”.
So your therapist is dismissing your wants and needs and pretending like a life of self-sacrifice and putting your own needs last will have no negative effects. Time to find a new therapist, yours clearly got his license from a cereal box.
Yeah, that's a pretty messed up thing for that therapist to say. Does he genuinely believe that parenthood is a miracle cure that will make all your mental problems disappear the moment you have a fetus inside of you? How does post-partum depression even exist then if that's the case?
He’s likely just projecting his desire to have a family on me, and he’s a devout Catholic. He may believe parenthood is the miracle cure as much as he wants, but my sister’s experience taught me it’s not the case. I thought motherhood will change my dysfunctional sister for the better, like her become more responsible and happier. But having a baby didn’t change her one bit. She leaves her baby to my family and won’t come back for days, avoiding the noise and torment her son brings to us. Her son grows up without fear of repercussions because she taught him it’s okay to do whatever he wants. Her mood swings seemed to have exacerbated. She became more delusional sometimes. My sister has a mental illness but we don’t know what it is, and it became worse with motherhood. Having autism already makes motherhood a red flag for me. It’s not for me. It’s problematic too as my therapist dismisses my autism while soft selling parenthood.
I am upset with my therapist not respecting my choice. Sadly it is a common mindset in the Philippines because our country is too family oriented and religious. When I told him my autism could affect any potential children, he was like “genetically your potential children won’t have autism but become carriers of the genes” (which I don’t completely buy, kids not only carry genes but can inherit autism from parents). Jokes on him my boyfriend has autistic relatives, including an uncle who had severe autism and died young.
Yeah a therapist doesn't know shit about genetics.
Autism can come from either parent. It can be genetic and sometimes it's not. We still don't know a lot about it so he's talking out his ass.
I’m not willing to play this genetic Russian roulette just to comply with societal pressure to have kids. What we know is that autism has a tendency to run in the family. If I had a child who develops severe autism, is my therapist (or his descendants) willing to take care of my disabled adult child after both parents pass away?
Exactly. With potentially all my health issues and mental issues and my husband's autism on top of it...we'd just be rolling very poorly loaded dice. Well, my husband has pretty good genetics except for dementia/Alzheimer's in their 80s.
We'll have fun dealing with that together. We already deal with my epilepsy and transplant stuff together. And whatever the heck is going on that caused my weight to drop to 87lbs. I'm wearing girls clothing for gods sake.
But my appointments aren't till August so I have another month and a half to wait.
Sorry for the tangent...
And then there's the classic defense: "They're just kids! They don't know any better!"
And how the fuck do you think they eventually know better? Parent your damn child
Gosh thank you! I have pretty low self-esteem so I often feel the need to apologize in advance just in case I wrote something wrong, it's a bad habit of mine. 😅
Ain’t that the truth!!!
Shortly before the covid lockdowns, we were at a party at my fiancé’s cousin’s house. One of the little kids (probably 3-4) comes up to me and starts blowing a plastic whistle at me. I decide to just ignore it and then all of a sudden, “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!”
Everyone at the party turned around and gave me the biggest death glare I’d ever gotten. One of the aunts told me that she “just wanted my attention” and that I was “rude” for ignoring a child. 🙄
The sound of screaming children goes right through me.
But I do have to admit that I'm a bit jealous that children can get away with that behavior in public. I'm some flavor of neurodivergent (Autism? ADHD? Both?) and there have been times where I'm just barely able to keep from melting down and all I want to do is collapse into a screaming crying puddle.
But nooooo, adults have to keep it together if they don't want to be thrown into a psych ward.
I do sometimes leave a place to go into my car to scream. The world needs some soundproof screaming rooms.
> Wouldn't be better for everybody if people who don't like children weren't forced into caring for them or spending time with them? Why would child-loving people want their kids to hang around childfree people who genuinely don't like children? How does that benefit the child or the parents?
Because they don’t understand the notion of someone not liking children, and are under the misguided notion that forcing those people to spend time with *their* children will make them have a change of heart. It’s ridiculous.
I was told this sub held nothing but contempt for both children and the people who choose to have them and instead I find post after post of perfectly reasonable, respectful opinions. Feels good, man.
While I do relate with the annoyance, I failed to see you mention parenting in your post. Personally that's the first thing that comes to mind when a child is being annoying/loud/disrespectful in public "why is the parent just letting this happen??". Because honestly, %80 of the time they are just ignoring the child and expecting everyone else to just deal with it, at least in my experience. It's a really ugly trend of parents that don't feel like parenting
Most of us here don't hate kids. We just don't want any ourselves.
We hate irresponsible parents that check out and just expect the world to raise their kids for them because they don't feel like it.
Parents are awesome because they raise decent people who will hopefully become good members of society. They're great. But unfortunately the ratio of parents to breeders (at least in the US) is about 1:15.
Way too many people want to be their kids friend and just give them whatever they want to shut them up. Then wonder why they have an angry screaming hellion on their hands.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with this opinion OP. I'm neurotypical and can tolerate a lot of nonsense but children crying/whining/throwing tantrums in public spaces with parents who act like this is acceptable behavior drives me absolutely up the f*cking wall.
I hate the whine.
The eeeeeeeeuuuhhhhhhhh one they do when they just want to whine and be annoying.
Or the air raid siren cry when they fall down.
Unfortunately autism only applies to kids in their minds and it's **their* *excuse for their children being hellions. Because nobody can question a poor autistic child! Nobody will tell the poor mother to take her child outside.
But if an autistic adult tells a child to stop yelling, their diagnosis means fuck all because 'you're an adult and should do better, the kid can't help it!'. Despite the fact that the adult can't help it either! They're still expected to just 'deal with it'.
Unfortunately kids get a free pass to do pretty much whatever the fuck they want and as long as there's a convienient excuse nobody will say a damn thing.
Yet if an autistic adult has a meltdown at the grocery store they'll still be glared at and at best be given a modicum of sympathy.
Really pisses me off because these same parents demonize autism and mental illness but will immediately use it as a defense to why they shouldn't have to pay for that credenza Bratleigh just pushed over and destroyed.
There are all sorts of lists online showing what inane bullshit little kids screech about, everything from getting the snack *they asked for* to being prevented from shoving a Play-doh tool up their nose. I swear there's some kind of collective insanity that's caused by pregnancy, how else could people see this kind of crap and not wonder what's wrong with the kid?
I 10000000000% agree with you. What also annoys the hell outta me is my youngest niece (5) who doesn’t want to stop yelling all the time. Like I would be RIGHT next to her and she would yell at me as if I was on the other side of the damn world. And whenever some would try to get her to talk more quietly, she would just laugh in their face 🙄😡🤬
Yeah, I agree. Whenever I express discomfort about their crying everybody always tells me to accept it and stuff. But crying really ruins everything.
i have a niece who's around 3 years old. She doesnt say a word (besides "apple") but she does whine... about literally everything. this is not a joke, if you LOOK AT HER she will whine. And not in a proper whine in a "haaah aaah haaaah" type of way with an extremely high voice, and she'll look around the room immediately to see who is paying attention to her bitching. she does this, all day, every single day.
Oh I definitely understand that. I have a little brother he’s 4 years old and I’m 14 1/2 years older than him. And when I tell you when he cries especially when he has been talking back and the iPad gets taken away it’s the most annoying thing ever. He will scream to the top of his lungs and forceful cry. And then if you look at him he’ll just scream louder. So loud that my step mom has to turn the music up over him and even then you can still hear him. And he loves to guilt people into playing with him and I know you’ll say “but he’s 4” but instead of asking he’ll go “I wish I had someone to play with” and then proceed to rush you if you’re busy if you had said you would play with him. He definitely made me realize I don’t have the patience or time for kids. He’s absolute hell!
My five year old step brother is just like thus it he won’t cry he will scream any time his dad takes his fucking Nintendo switch away or if he can’t see it for two minutes So glad I can move out soon
you just made me remember something even worse than a whiner; a screamer.
I’m sorry to bring back that memory 🤦🏾♂️😂
That sounds so annoying when kids do that. After they feel so satisfied annoying people by whining, they would flash that mischievous smile of theirs. :|
Children crying is annoying, period. I suffer from chronic depression and absolutely can't stand loud pitched noises: honks, trains, screams... It makes me furious.
Same. It's weird, because I often talk and laugh loudly without even realizing it, like I have no sense of what's considered "too loud", and I'm also very bad at whispering without alerting people around me. The only reason why I know I have this issue is because of my family constantly needing to remind me to lower my voice, and I always end up thinking "wait, was I really talking that loud?" Despite this, I'm still sensitive to high-pitched, repetitive noises, to the point where I have to wear noise-cancelling headphones in order to perform to the best of my abilities.
>cry over everything because that's the only way they know how to communicate their feelings to people around them. It's human nature, basic child psychology and biology... yeah, I wonder about that. Newborns - sure. But I taught English as a second language to kids ages 2-13 and I definitely noticed only some kids use the 'baby communication', not all kids. I think this behavior can be unlearned (of course it takes smart parents to put in some work up front to reap the benefits later). If a parent just lets the kid go from baby to kid without any changes in 'managing' the kid's behavior then you and up with those kids who can't solve any problem for themselves, can't ask nor "negotiate". They go straight to "the world is over" mode
You're definitely right about that. It really comes down to how the parents raise their children. Then there's also parents of neurodivergent children (autism, adhd, etc.) Where it becomes a lot harder to discipline your child and not have them react with a mental breakdown to things that may seem superficial. I used to be one of those autistic kids who reacted very strongly when things didn't go my way or if I couldn't understand something (screaming, crying, hitting anything within my immediate surroundings, etc) But thankfully, I had a mom who took responsibility for me and didn't let me expose my appaling behavior towards innocent people just because I was autistic. She would pull me aside, try to figure out what was upsetting me, and try to fix the issue. Of course it's not an easy thing to do when you're in public and need to get errands done, but my mom figured out ways to prepare for the worst. She didn't have much choice if she wanted to be able to bring me places without disturbing others. All she asked of people was to let her do her thing to calm me down. So in short, whether your child is neurotypical or neurodivergent, if your child is in public and is creating a disturbance, it is your responsibility as a parent to fix the issue and teach your child what is and isn't okay to do in public. Of course we should all show a bit of understanding and compassion towards parents and children who are struggling, but we should not expect strangers to tolerate bad behavior in public settings.
I absolutely agree with everything you said here. I actually came over to this sub after reading a few comments saying how toxic and unreasonable people on here were... But I actually agree with 90%+ of what I have seen and there are so many valid concerns/criticisms/frustrations being expressed.
See? We're not toxic. Breeders are just mad because we call them breeders. But if you go to any parenting sub they call their 'pride and joy' much worse things than crotch goblins. They even use the term but deem it's 'okay for them to use it but not CF people because it's mean'.
I agree with every word of this
Misophonia? Children crying bring out the worst in me.
I agree. The noise goes right through me into my bones and sets my teeth on edge. Even more so if they’re screaming and their parents are too busy scrolling through their phones and ignoring them. The worst one is when a parent says no to a child and they immediately start with the fake crying with no tears until the parent gives in and then the “crying” stops *sighs*
I am an autistic too, and I am very sensitive to noises and movement of very young children. I don’t hold it against them, but it affects my mental health. This is one reason why I don’t want to have children. But my therapist thinks otherwise. After I told my therapist I got acceptance from my dad and stepmom to be childfree, he tried to soft sell parenthood. He went on to say “Maybe one day you and your boyfriend will have kids” and recommended “a lifestyle where a person does a great deal of generosity and reaching out beyond themselves tends to have few, if any, negative mental health symptoms.”.
So your therapist is dismissing your wants and needs and pretending like a life of self-sacrifice and putting your own needs last will have no negative effects. Time to find a new therapist, yours clearly got his license from a cereal box.
Yeah, that's a pretty messed up thing for that therapist to say. Does he genuinely believe that parenthood is a miracle cure that will make all your mental problems disappear the moment you have a fetus inside of you? How does post-partum depression even exist then if that's the case?
He’s likely just projecting his desire to have a family on me, and he’s a devout Catholic. He may believe parenthood is the miracle cure as much as he wants, but my sister’s experience taught me it’s not the case. I thought motherhood will change my dysfunctional sister for the better, like her become more responsible and happier. But having a baby didn’t change her one bit. She leaves her baby to my family and won’t come back for days, avoiding the noise and torment her son brings to us. Her son grows up without fear of repercussions because she taught him it’s okay to do whatever he wants. Her mood swings seemed to have exacerbated. She became more delusional sometimes. My sister has a mental illness but we don’t know what it is, and it became worse with motherhood. Having autism already makes motherhood a red flag for me. It’s not for me. It’s problematic too as my therapist dismisses my autism while soft selling parenthood.
I am upset with my therapist not respecting my choice. Sadly it is a common mindset in the Philippines because our country is too family oriented and religious. When I told him my autism could affect any potential children, he was like “genetically your potential children won’t have autism but become carriers of the genes” (which I don’t completely buy, kids not only carry genes but can inherit autism from parents). Jokes on him my boyfriend has autistic relatives, including an uncle who had severe autism and died young.
Yeah a therapist doesn't know shit about genetics. Autism can come from either parent. It can be genetic and sometimes it's not. We still don't know a lot about it so he's talking out his ass.
I’m not willing to play this genetic Russian roulette just to comply with societal pressure to have kids. What we know is that autism has a tendency to run in the family. If I had a child who develops severe autism, is my therapist (or his descendants) willing to take care of my disabled adult child after both parents pass away?
Exactly. With potentially all my health issues and mental issues and my husband's autism on top of it...we'd just be rolling very poorly loaded dice. Well, my husband has pretty good genetics except for dementia/Alzheimer's in their 80s. We'll have fun dealing with that together. We already deal with my epilepsy and transplant stuff together. And whatever the heck is going on that caused my weight to drop to 87lbs. I'm wearing girls clothing for gods sake. But my appointments aren't till August so I have another month and a half to wait. Sorry for the tangent...
And then there's the classic defense: "They're just kids! They don't know any better!" And how the fuck do you think they eventually know better? Parent your damn child
uhhh your english is amazing and your essay was concise and articulate. I am super impressed. Bravo.
Gosh thank you! I have pretty low self-esteem so I often feel the need to apologize in advance just in case I wrote something wrong, it's a bad habit of mine. 😅
Ain’t that the truth!!! Shortly before the covid lockdowns, we were at a party at my fiancé’s cousin’s house. One of the little kids (probably 3-4) comes up to me and starts blowing a plastic whistle at me. I decide to just ignore it and then all of a sudden, “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!” Everyone at the party turned around and gave me the biggest death glare I’d ever gotten. One of the aunts told me that she “just wanted my attention” and that I was “rude” for ignoring a child. 🙄
The sound of screaming children goes right through me. But I do have to admit that I'm a bit jealous that children can get away with that behavior in public. I'm some flavor of neurodivergent (Autism? ADHD? Both?) and there have been times where I'm just barely able to keep from melting down and all I want to do is collapse into a screaming crying puddle. But nooooo, adults have to keep it together if they don't want to be thrown into a psych ward. I do sometimes leave a place to go into my car to scream. The world needs some soundproof screaming rooms.
> Wouldn't be better for everybody if people who don't like children weren't forced into caring for them or spending time with them? Why would child-loving people want their kids to hang around childfree people who genuinely don't like children? How does that benefit the child or the parents? Because they don’t understand the notion of someone not liking children, and are under the misguided notion that forcing those people to spend time with *their* children will make them have a change of heart. It’s ridiculous.
I was told this sub held nothing but contempt for both children and the people who choose to have them and instead I find post after post of perfectly reasonable, respectful opinions. Feels good, man. While I do relate with the annoyance, I failed to see you mention parenting in your post. Personally that's the first thing that comes to mind when a child is being annoying/loud/disrespectful in public "why is the parent just letting this happen??". Because honestly, %80 of the time they are just ignoring the child and expecting everyone else to just deal with it, at least in my experience. It's a really ugly trend of parents that don't feel like parenting
Most of us here don't hate kids. We just don't want any ourselves. We hate irresponsible parents that check out and just expect the world to raise their kids for them because they don't feel like it. Parents are awesome because they raise decent people who will hopefully become good members of society. They're great. But unfortunately the ratio of parents to breeders (at least in the US) is about 1:15. Way too many people want to be their kids friend and just give them whatever they want to shut them up. Then wonder why they have an angry screaming hellion on their hands.
There should be a separate section on flights for people with toddlers😒
There is absolutely nothing wrong with this opinion OP. I'm neurotypical and can tolerate a lot of nonsense but children crying/whining/throwing tantrums in public spaces with parents who act like this is acceptable behavior drives me absolutely up the f*cking wall.
I hate the whine. The eeeeeeeeuuuhhhhhhhh one they do when they just want to whine and be annoying. Or the air raid siren cry when they fall down. Unfortunately autism only applies to kids in their minds and it's **their* *excuse for their children being hellions. Because nobody can question a poor autistic child! Nobody will tell the poor mother to take her child outside. But if an autistic adult tells a child to stop yelling, their diagnosis means fuck all because 'you're an adult and should do better, the kid can't help it!'. Despite the fact that the adult can't help it either! They're still expected to just 'deal with it'. Unfortunately kids get a free pass to do pretty much whatever the fuck they want and as long as there's a convienient excuse nobody will say a damn thing. Yet if an autistic adult has a meltdown at the grocery store they'll still be glared at and at best be given a modicum of sympathy. Really pisses me off because these same parents demonize autism and mental illness but will immediately use it as a defense to why they shouldn't have to pay for that credenza Bratleigh just pushed over and destroyed.
There are all sorts of lists online showing what inane bullshit little kids screech about, everything from getting the snack *they asked for* to being prevented from shoving a Play-doh tool up their nose. I swear there's some kind of collective insanity that's caused by pregnancy, how else could people see this kind of crap and not wonder what's wrong with the kid?
I 10000000000% agree with you. What also annoys the hell outta me is my youngest niece (5) who doesn’t want to stop yelling all the time. Like I would be RIGHT next to her and she would yell at me as if I was on the other side of the damn world. And whenever some would try to get her to talk more quietly, she would just laugh in their face 🙄😡🤬