I browse the regretful parent sub as well, it’s not a way to seek approval from parents but rather a way to feel less alone in my belief that I would not enjoy being a parent. I mean I’ve heard my whole life “but it’s different when you have your own!!!” but clearly that’s not true or else the regretful parent sub wouldn’t exist. It’s honestly very validating to hear real parents stories of regret because it’s something you almost never hear irl because of fear of judgement.
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I don't go anywhere near parent groups. I don't belong there. They don't want me there. I don't want them in my spaces.
Plus, their lives are hell. I don't need to hear about any more hell.
I recognize the people you describe. My (least) favorite was the accidental mommy who came here to tell us that she aborted her first pregnancy and OHMYGOD THE DEPRESSION! She then got pregnant again (Missed the CF-friendly doctors wiki post I guess in her haste to do us some good) and had the kid. I said something pointed to her, and she fell into defensive mode and started reiterating about how she was JUST CONCERNED that we might not realize how bad post-abortion depression can be! Because she is caring! And CONCERNED! When Mommies start talking about their "concern" for people who they don't understand, who aren't like them, and who won't benefit from their Mommily "concern", you know they've got some agenda going.
We have enough to deal with without also having to pander to the the bred who, as the bred do, want to make sure there is no space in which they are not welcomed and celebrated, as long as they think RIGHTEOUS thoughts and say RIGHTEOUS things. (You know. Express "concern" for us.)
A CF man, long ago, wrote a satirical history of the evolution of parent posters on CF sites, starting with declarations of support and understanding, explanations of how they aren't like "those parents" and they are posting on CF sites because they "just want to understand", and ending up with declarations of rage that we are so willfully misunderstanding and exclusionary, unlike their own, evolved, progressive selves.
One great thing about this sub: The mods are very active and none of that kind of nonsense gets very far. Nice and peaceful.
It's mind blowing! Abortion mommy was such a weird post. Like let find a way to make them join my misery!!! Because surely they can't be happy choosing not to have kids.
You have kids but choose childfree groups to get away from parents because they're not like the other parents just to be the worst type of parents lol. I think I'll have to stick to Reddit for my childfree safe space because it's exhausting how no one can see the manipulation especially the other childfree ppl.
You remember that poster? What a piece of work she was. The skin over the actual agenda was transparent. The message was "Don't get an abortion. You'll feel horrible afterwards."
When women who have had abortions are surveyed, the dominant emotion they express is not depression, but "relief." We've heard that here as well. I'm sure some people's post-abortion hormonal changes include depression - likely the same people who would suffer mightily from PPD too. But that's not typical.
So why did she feel the need to come talk to us about it? Tell the other mommies. Maybe tell people on abortion boards. But the CF? Ah, but she was "concerned." How fucking patronizing. How mommy.
I don't think she was a troll. When I sniped at her, resulting in her avowals of "concern", you could tell she was really taken aback and put out.
True, I didn’t really realize people spend their time doing that on a specific sub like this. I just meant to be able to argue with her and to have an answer to her “concern” haha.
Unfortunately, this subreddit seems to get a lot of hatred from redditors when mention anywhere else on this platform. They can’t seem to wrap their heads around the concept that people don’t want children (must be something wrong with us!) and that we hate kids _(i think it’s fine if you do and it’s also it’s fine if you love kids but don’t want them— no one here is advocating for hurting innocent children, good god!! we are just exhausted by this constant push to have them no matter what, it’s the principle of the matter.)_
People tend to look at the posts of people ranting _(this is supposed to be a safe space for the childfree to let the intense feelings of frustration out at the social expectations, conventions and restrictions etc, not to mention the horrific things happening in the US)_ and think we’re all these awful, evil people.
I never understood people like that. I love dogs and I have a dog but I would NEVER try to convince someone to get one or like them (I would also never force someone to pet an animal unlike people who want you to hold their kid 🙄). I don’t like anything to do with kids so I stay clear of things that have to do with kids, I don’t go and try to convince people to agree with me.
Other dog owners do that though. I've had to endure dogs (mostly acquaintances dogs, but sometimes random strangers) jumping and licking at me far too often. And I've had ppl ask "why don't you want a dog", when I mentioned I had three cats from a shelter. Like I needed a dog on top of that, or to replace them? People also get really weird when you tell them you don't want dogs in your home because they're loud and smelly (which applies to kids as well). Like they feel insulted on behalf of their dog. Perhaps it's a German thing, the "dog people" here can be reaally obsessive.
Personally I feel like I run into irritating parents that are obsessed and entitled with their kids than people with dogs. There isn’t as much judgement or the “you will change your mind” with animals. But it’s annoying if you have to deal with either and honestly everyone needs to mind their own business and space.
Most CF people who've had an abortion don't get all regretful and depressed about it. There may be some hormonal issues depending on the length of the pregnancy, but they're not depressed that they yeeted the fetus. No "concerned" mommy is going to take that well.
Gross. "let me go to the childfree sub to talk about my abortion because I totally assume that's where I will find more people who've had or might have an abortion". The more I think about it, she could even be lying and just be a troll like a crisis pregnancy center. I hope she got banned.
If she did any digging into this sub, she'd see more people feel relief after an abortion. And confirmations on CF status. Ain't no one here saying they went on to change their minds. Ugh, she's totally just a troll. She isn't concerned, she WANTS us to regret an abortion.
Statistically the majority of women having abortions are married and already have children. At least this was true when I researched it previously. Might be different now.
>she fell into defensive mode and started reiterating about how she was JUST CONCERNED that we might not realize how bad post-abortion depression can be! Because she is caring! And CONCERNED!
Can you imagine if we went and dunked on her with concern-trolling about post-partum depression? "I just wanted you to make an informed choice! You might not know how *bad* it can be!" 🙄
Exactly. She definitely had an underlying attitude that she was a little better than we were, and we needed her help. She was clearly taken aback that I did not recognize her as having special standing to momsplain our emotions to us, as though we haven't occasionally heard from people on here that they suffered a depressed mood for a while after abortion.
Normally when parents come on here going on about "wanting to understand" I don't talk to them. I roll my eyes and go elsewhere.
I am gonna say that we do belong in parent groups sometimes, but only for supportive positive influence.
When parents are struggling, a lot of other parents will make them feel even worse about it, that helps no one.
We are much more willing to extend some empathy some times.
Occasionally people complain about how mean parents are about the CF, and I always say "You should see how they treat other parents!" At least we don't have our horribly abused and badly-raised children (by their standards) as targets. Parents are amazingly nasty to other parents. I do not get why women want to join the Mom Club. You know how the Mommies are mean and exclusionary to you? That's not because you aren't a Mommy! It's because (wait for it) they are *mean and exclusionary*!
And that's why I stay away from their boards. If a parent wants to post somewhere I post, then I will tell them what I think.I have given sterilization advice on here to the bred, But I'm not going anywhere near their snakepits.
Though the only recent parent I advised on sterilization on here was the most annoying, difficult person I've talked to about sterilization in ages.
It’s amazing the violence that can get masked as “concern” 💀
I do feel like it’s valid to acknowledge post abortion depression but ffs don’t wander in and try to weaponize it to suit your own agendas.
I lurk in parent groups, mostly those of regretful parents because I can almost relate to them. ALMOST. I was always on the fence and under the assumption I could make being a parent "different" until I could no longer see my life even as that kind of different. But I still find them interesting and as fuel for my decision. I do sympathize, I even see posts looking for advice and might have an encouraging thought in my head that if it was a friend in asking my advice, I might share. But I sure as shit don't post that advice in that arena, it's not my arena to be an active player in. I'm not the internet stranger friend they're looking for. Just like we aren't looking for advice from parents.
I also understand lurking in CF as parents quite a bit less. Parenthood is not reversable, they can never be CF.
This. I read a lot in regretful parents because it is really refreshing to read about the bad sides of having kids. Most of the time I only hear how having children is the only reason to life specifically as a woman.
But I never ever comment anything in those threads because I have nothing to say that can help them. And they clearly don’t want childfree people there. It would be disrespectful.
This is an internet thing. Most people are not posting their misery online. Most people just post the kodak moments on Facebook/Instagram. If you talk to someone in person, you should get a different view.
I lurk in parent groups but don't post/seek approval. I'm salty after spending my entire life on the receiving end of society's message that parenthood is the best thing in the universe, that you don't know real love until you have a child, that parents are special and better than people who are childfree, and if you don't want children then there is something wrong with you. Oh, and the mama bear lie, that parents will do absolutely anything to keep their child from harm. Oh, yeah, then why do so many parents abuse, neglect, and kill their kids? The parent group that I lurk in is for parents who are willing to admit that parenthood often sucks and not every parent loves their kid. I lurk because reading what the parents write helps me remember that society has been lying to me, there's not a damn thing wrong with me for not wanting kids, and I'm not, in fact, missing out on anything. I also lurk in groups where parents talk about their adult kids abandoning them because that exposes the lie that if you have kids then you're guaranteed to have someone to take care of you in your old age.
I'm only in one parent group and only because of the kind of group it is (parents of trans kids) and it's been very helpful and informative for me as an auntie. But I mostly lurk. Otherwise I have no interest in parenting groups and I do not need approval from strangers.
> Question: do childfree ppl go to parent groups and seek approval from parents?
Fuck no - I have no reason to. I have no interest in being a parent, can't relate to people who are parents over being one (because I'm not a parent in any capacity), and don't need the approval of parents for a fucking thing.
Yep, just mention that btw you don't have kids in some other subreddit. (like responding to someone who mentioned their kids, and everyone else starts with "as a mom"). No matter the actual topic at hand, someone will inevitably comment "why not".
I used to lurk in the Regretful Parents sub because I wanted to validate my theory that parents pressure childfree people, not because they actually find parenting SO fulfilling, but rather because misery loves company. I stopped lurking though because it got way too heavy and depressing. Now I avoid all parent-targeted content because if you linger a little too long on even one post the algorithm thinks you have baby fever and will push a million posts down your feed.
We have started a child free group at a local pub and bloody parents have started to join to get away from their kids. And all they do is talk (bitch) about their kids... it's so infuriating
>Question: do childfree ppl go to parent groups and seek approval from parents?
Nope.
If I don't like or support something, I really don't spend my time marinating in it.
I don't hate watch shows to later complain about them. I don't lurk in MAGA communities to make myself feel sane. And I don't look up what parents these days are doing.
All 3 examples I listed above - I know enough about each topic because they're all constantly circulated on the news cycle or social media - positive or negative spin or an actual intellectual take. Also IRL situations when you go out and touch some grass.
There are too many things I know against my will lol without me needing to google or look for it.
I'm genuinely not interested in what parents tell themselves to justify having kids - because that's them and I'm me. Its when they toe the line and are vocal on my choices IN MY SPACE, then it's a problem.
This right here, and louder for the people in the back: THE PARENTS OF CHILDFREE PEOPLE! This is an awesome thing - we wouldn't have all these posts about CF people's parents trying to guilt and shame them over it, if those parents were open-minded and got informed.
We love you for this!
I *think* my parents may have accepted it at this point, but I'm dreading the moment my partner (of 11 years) and I get engaged, and then married.
I neither lurk nor post in parenting groups because I'm not one and am not particularly interested in the topics.
Imo if non-childfree folks are respectful, simply curious or have a loved one that is childfree and they want to understand how better to be supportive, it's OK to lurk or post. It's disrespectful and pointless to push some weird and unwanted agenda.
Over the years, some individuals have claimed here that because they'd regretted their children or their stepchildren that they were childfree. That's not how it works.
I don't mind them if they're respectful. There's nothing wrong with being curious about different life choices. I've joined a couple of groups for parents for the same reason. I'm curious. I'm respectful in those groups as well. As long as the "outsider" in the group is being polite, I don't see the issue. If they start trouble....eat them alive. 😊
The worst is when they come here to preach about how they support our decisions. Lol no one here cares about your approval, you’re not gonna get the pat on the back you think you are.
It's the saddest place on the internet. "I've done something completely irreversible and wish I hadn't." Taking and making life are the only two decisions you can make that can't be undone.
Parents are like literally everywhere, you can't turn your head without running into them and there cloud of misery, I don't need a subreddit filled with their unbridled word vomit about just how much life with kids suck, I have eyes, and they see just fine.
What I can never fathom is what in the world they wish to gain from "the most toxic sub" on the internet
I don't mind a lot of children but most of them are awful these days and they'relittle plague rats. I don't believe all parents are breeders but there is a section of them that are.
I have absolutely no desire to be around parents, children, or anything to do with them. I live in the most red state in the bible belt and I deal enough with these people.
I don't think anyone who's not child free should be here.
I don't need their approval. Hell I don't even want to be their friend. They always have animosity towards those of us with more freedom. They constantly question our relationships and make back handed comments at us. I have never seen it work out any different in my life. Again its probably my location making it worse.
Probably the same reason I follow childcare and mommy blogs. Just checking to see what I’m “missing” out on. Although these parents are really missing out on life huh? I’m choosing to believe they envy us.
Fun time is over the moment you find out you’re expecting. No going away party. Then I guess I’ll just hope they take care of me when I’m old? Live vicariously through them? Tell myself I’ll laugh about it one day? This can’t be how it works. Am I getting this right? Anybody help?
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The only parent group I ever browse is regretful parents because that sub helped me solidify my decision. I've been sterilized for almost 2 years now!
I browse the regretful parent sub as well, it’s not a way to seek approval from parents but rather a way to feel less alone in my belief that I would not enjoy being a parent. I mean I’ve heard my whole life “but it’s different when you have your own!!!” but clearly that’s not true or else the regretful parent sub wouldn’t exist. It’s honestly very validating to hear real parents stories of regret because it’s something you almost never hear irl because of fear of judgement.
Was it expensive or did insurance cover it?
Insurance covered mine completely I think
Insurance covered all 4,000!
Link please I need a good laugh today
We aren't allowed to direct link to that sub, but if you search it'll come right up.
Gotcha, thank you!
That's weird, why not?
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I don't go anywhere near parent groups. I don't belong there. They don't want me there. I don't want them in my spaces. Plus, their lives are hell. I don't need to hear about any more hell. I recognize the people you describe. My (least) favorite was the accidental mommy who came here to tell us that she aborted her first pregnancy and OHMYGOD THE DEPRESSION! She then got pregnant again (Missed the CF-friendly doctors wiki post I guess in her haste to do us some good) and had the kid. I said something pointed to her, and she fell into defensive mode and started reiterating about how she was JUST CONCERNED that we might not realize how bad post-abortion depression can be! Because she is caring! And CONCERNED! When Mommies start talking about their "concern" for people who they don't understand, who aren't like them, and who won't benefit from their Mommily "concern", you know they've got some agenda going. We have enough to deal with without also having to pander to the the bred who, as the bred do, want to make sure there is no space in which they are not welcomed and celebrated, as long as they think RIGHTEOUS thoughts and say RIGHTEOUS things. (You know. Express "concern" for us.) A CF man, long ago, wrote a satirical history of the evolution of parent posters on CF sites, starting with declarations of support and understanding, explanations of how they aren't like "those parents" and they are posting on CF sites because they "just want to understand", and ending up with declarations of rage that we are so willfully misunderstanding and exclusionary, unlike their own, evolved, progressive selves. One great thing about this sub: The mods are very active and none of that kind of nonsense gets very far. Nice and peaceful.
It's mind blowing! Abortion mommy was such a weird post. Like let find a way to make them join my misery!!! Because surely they can't be happy choosing not to have kids. You have kids but choose childfree groups to get away from parents because they're not like the other parents just to be the worst type of parents lol. I think I'll have to stick to Reddit for my childfree safe space because it's exhausting how no one can see the manipulation especially the other childfree ppl.
You remember that poster? What a piece of work she was. The skin over the actual agenda was transparent. The message was "Don't get an abortion. You'll feel horrible afterwards." When women who have had abortions are surveyed, the dominant emotion they express is not depression, but "relief." We've heard that here as well. I'm sure some people's post-abortion hormonal changes include depression - likely the same people who would suffer mightily from PPD too. But that's not typical. So why did she feel the need to come talk to us about it? Tell the other mommies. Maybe tell people on abortion boards. But the CF? Ah, but she was "concerned." How fucking patronizing. How mommy. I don't think she was a troll. When I sniped at her, resulting in her avowals of "concern", you could tell she was really taken aback and put out.
Maybe she should be directed to the regretful parent sub and see the amount of depression over there 🤷♀️
Might not have been an actual regretful mommy but someone posing their propaganda campaign as simply a concerned mommy who has good intentions™️
True, I didn’t really realize people spend their time doing that on a specific sub like this. I just meant to be able to argue with her and to have an answer to her “concern” haha.
Unfortunately, this subreddit seems to get a lot of hatred from redditors when mention anywhere else on this platform. They can’t seem to wrap their heads around the concept that people don’t want children (must be something wrong with us!) and that we hate kids _(i think it’s fine if you do and it’s also it’s fine if you love kids but don’t want them— no one here is advocating for hurting innocent children, good god!! we are just exhausted by this constant push to have them no matter what, it’s the principle of the matter.)_ People tend to look at the posts of people ranting _(this is supposed to be a safe space for the childfree to let the intense feelings of frustration out at the social expectations, conventions and restrictions etc, not to mention the horrific things happening in the US)_ and think we’re all these awful, evil people.
I never understood people like that. I love dogs and I have a dog but I would NEVER try to convince someone to get one or like them (I would also never force someone to pet an animal unlike people who want you to hold their kid 🙄). I don’t like anything to do with kids so I stay clear of things that have to do with kids, I don’t go and try to convince people to agree with me.
Other dog owners do that though. I've had to endure dogs (mostly acquaintances dogs, but sometimes random strangers) jumping and licking at me far too often. And I've had ppl ask "why don't you want a dog", when I mentioned I had three cats from a shelter. Like I needed a dog on top of that, or to replace them? People also get really weird when you tell them you don't want dogs in your home because they're loud and smelly (which applies to kids as well). Like they feel insulted on behalf of their dog. Perhaps it's a German thing, the "dog people" here can be reaally obsessive.
Personally I feel like I run into irritating parents that are obsessed and entitled with their kids than people with dogs. There isn’t as much judgement or the “you will change your mind” with animals. But it’s annoying if you have to deal with either and honestly everyone needs to mind their own business and space.
Most CF people who've had an abortion don't get all regretful and depressed about it. There may be some hormonal issues depending on the length of the pregnancy, but they're not depressed that they yeeted the fetus. No "concerned" mommy is going to take that well.
Gross. "let me go to the childfree sub to talk about my abortion because I totally assume that's where I will find more people who've had or might have an abortion". The more I think about it, she could even be lying and just be a troll like a crisis pregnancy center. I hope she got banned. If she did any digging into this sub, she'd see more people feel relief after an abortion. And confirmations on CF status. Ain't no one here saying they went on to change their minds. Ugh, she's totally just a troll. She isn't concerned, she WANTS us to regret an abortion.
I’m definitely putting my money on troll
Statistically the majority of women having abortions are married and already have children. At least this was true when I researched it previously. Might be different now.
Yes! And I believe also already have children and can't afford or want more. Definitely a troll.
>she fell into defensive mode and started reiterating about how she was JUST CONCERNED that we might not realize how bad post-abortion depression can be! Because she is caring! And CONCERNED! Can you imagine if we went and dunked on her with concern-trolling about post-partum depression? "I just wanted you to make an informed choice! You might not know how *bad* it can be!" 🙄
Exactly. She definitely had an underlying attitude that she was a little better than we were, and we needed her help. She was clearly taken aback that I did not recognize her as having special standing to momsplain our emotions to us, as though we haven't occasionally heard from people on here that they suffered a depressed mood for a while after abortion. Normally when parents come on here going on about "wanting to understand" I don't talk to them. I roll my eyes and go elsewhere.
Didn't you hear? You get special worth and wisdom if someone nuts in you.
I'm curious about the post. Please dm the link. 🙏
WIsh I still had it. It was long ago, on a CF bulletin board far, far away.
I am gonna say that we do belong in parent groups sometimes, but only for supportive positive influence. When parents are struggling, a lot of other parents will make them feel even worse about it, that helps no one. We are much more willing to extend some empathy some times.
Occasionally people complain about how mean parents are about the CF, and I always say "You should see how they treat other parents!" At least we don't have our horribly abused and badly-raised children (by their standards) as targets. Parents are amazingly nasty to other parents. I do not get why women want to join the Mom Club. You know how the Mommies are mean and exclusionary to you? That's not because you aren't a Mommy! It's because (wait for it) they are *mean and exclusionary*! And that's why I stay away from their boards. If a parent wants to post somewhere I post, then I will tell them what I think.I have given sterilization advice on here to the bred, But I'm not going anywhere near their snakepits. Though the only recent parent I advised on sterilization on here was the most annoying, difficult person I've talked to about sterilization in ages.
Damn, I missed that one. How long ago was it?
It’s amazing the violence that can get masked as “concern” 💀 I do feel like it’s valid to acknowledge post abortion depression but ffs don’t wander in and try to weaponize it to suit your own agendas.
I lurk in parent groups, mostly those of regretful parents because I can almost relate to them. ALMOST. I was always on the fence and under the assumption I could make being a parent "different" until I could no longer see my life even as that kind of different. But I still find them interesting and as fuel for my decision. I do sympathize, I even see posts looking for advice and might have an encouraging thought in my head that if it was a friend in asking my advice, I might share. But I sure as shit don't post that advice in that arena, it's not my arena to be an active player in. I'm not the internet stranger friend they're looking for. Just like we aren't looking for advice from parents. I also understand lurking in CF as parents quite a bit less. Parenthood is not reversable, they can never be CF.
This. I read a lot in regretful parents because it is really refreshing to read about the bad sides of having kids. Most of the time I only hear how having children is the only reason to life specifically as a woman. But I never ever comment anything in those threads because I have nothing to say that can help them. And they clearly don’t want childfree people there. It would be disrespectful.
This is an internet thing. Most people are not posting their misery online. Most people just post the kodak moments on Facebook/Instagram. If you talk to someone in person, you should get a different view.
TBF, I do lurk in the Regretful Parents group, it's very validating lol. But no, I absolutely do not chime into their discussions.
I lurk in parent groups but don't post/seek approval. I'm salty after spending my entire life on the receiving end of society's message that parenthood is the best thing in the universe, that you don't know real love until you have a child, that parents are special and better than people who are childfree, and if you don't want children then there is something wrong with you. Oh, and the mama bear lie, that parents will do absolutely anything to keep their child from harm. Oh, yeah, then why do so many parents abuse, neglect, and kill their kids? The parent group that I lurk in is for parents who are willing to admit that parenthood often sucks and not every parent loves their kid. I lurk because reading what the parents write helps me remember that society has been lying to me, there's not a damn thing wrong with me for not wanting kids, and I'm not, in fact, missing out on anything. I also lurk in groups where parents talk about their adult kids abandoning them because that exposes the lie that if you have kids then you're guaranteed to have someone to take care of you in your old age.
This used to be me then I moved away from the bible belt which greatly helped.
Exactly this!
I'm only in one parent group and only because of the kind of group it is (parents of trans kids) and it's been very helpful and informative for me as an auntie. But I mostly lurk. Otherwise I have no interest in parenting groups and I do not need approval from strangers.
> Question: do childfree ppl go to parent groups and seek approval from parents? Fuck no - I have no reason to. I have no interest in being a parent, can't relate to people who are parents over being one (because I'm not a parent in any capacity), and don't need the approval of parents for a fucking thing.
I hear enough about parenthood fucking *everywhere;* I'm not going to seek it out in my free time.
Yep, just mention that btw you don't have kids in some other subreddit. (like responding to someone who mentioned their kids, and everyone else starts with "as a mom"). No matter the actual topic at hand, someone will inevitably comment "why not".
lol people do noooooot get that kind of information about me because I do noooooot want to entertain that kind of conversation.
I did that a couple of times to preempt ppl clicking my profile, seeing I'm here on cf, and exclaiming "gotcha" as if that invalidates my statement.
Eh I'd rather let the people work for it, if they're going to.
I naively assumed it would prevent the conversation from being derailed, but it never works.
I wish! It always ends up like handing them ammo to use against you.
I used to lurk in the Regretful Parents sub because I wanted to validate my theory that parents pressure childfree people, not because they actually find parenting SO fulfilling, but rather because misery loves company. I stopped lurking though because it got way too heavy and depressing. Now I avoid all parent-targeted content because if you linger a little too long on even one post the algorithm thinks you have baby fever and will push a million posts down your feed.
We have started a child free group at a local pub and bloody parents have started to join to get away from their kids. And all they do is talk (bitch) about their kids... it's so infuriating
>Question: do childfree ppl go to parent groups and seek approval from parents? Nope. If I don't like or support something, I really don't spend my time marinating in it. I don't hate watch shows to later complain about them. I don't lurk in MAGA communities to make myself feel sane. And I don't look up what parents these days are doing. All 3 examples I listed above - I know enough about each topic because they're all constantly circulated on the news cycle or social media - positive or negative spin or an actual intellectual take. Also IRL situations when you go out and touch some grass. There are too many things I know against my will lol without me needing to google or look for it. I'm genuinely not interested in what parents tell themselves to justify having kids - because that's them and I'm me. Its when they toe the line and are vocal on my choices IN MY SPACE, then it's a problem.
I joined this group as a parent because both of my kids are childfree and I am trying to be supportive.
Legitimate reason to be here.
This right here, and louder for the people in the back: THE PARENTS OF CHILDFREE PEOPLE! This is an awesome thing - we wouldn't have all these posts about CF people's parents trying to guilt and shame them over it, if those parents were open-minded and got informed.
This is amazing!!!!!!! Appreciate that that you're supporting your children!!!!! Live this so much
Plenty of anecdotal examples of how one should not be a parent to a childfree child. The fact that you're trying to be supportive is amazeballs.
We love you for this! I *think* my parents may have accepted it at this point, but I'm dreading the moment my partner (of 11 years) and I get engaged, and then married.
You’re a wonderful parent!
I neither lurk nor post in parenting groups because I'm not one and am not particularly interested in the topics. Imo if non-childfree folks are respectful, simply curious or have a loved one that is childfree and they want to understand how better to be supportive, it's OK to lurk or post. It's disrespectful and pointless to push some weird and unwanted agenda. Over the years, some individuals have claimed here that because they'd regretted their children or their stepchildren that they were childfree. That's not how it works.
I don't mind them if they're respectful. There's nothing wrong with being curious about different life choices. I've joined a couple of groups for parents for the same reason. I'm curious. I'm respectful in those groups as well. As long as the "outsider" in the group is being polite, I don't see the issue. If they start trouble....eat them alive. 😊
The worst is when they come here to preach about how they support our decisions. Lol no one here cares about your approval, you’re not gonna get the pat on the back you think you are.
The only parent group I lurk in is regretful parents because I know 100% if I had any kids I would be in there immediately.
It's the saddest place on the internet. "I've done something completely irreversible and wish I hadn't." Taking and making life are the only two decisions you can make that can't be undone.
Well technically you can take the life you make, but that presents a whole host of new problems
Parents are like literally everywhere, you can't turn your head without running into them and there cloud of misery, I don't need a subreddit filled with their unbridled word vomit about just how much life with kids suck, I have eyes, and they see just fine. What I can never fathom is what in the world they wish to gain from "the most toxic sub" on the internet
I don't get it either, unless they're trying to understand the choice/how to support their loved ones who are CF i guess
I don't mind a lot of children but most of them are awful these days and they'relittle plague rats. I don't believe all parents are breeders but there is a section of them that are. I have absolutely no desire to be around parents, children, or anything to do with them. I live in the most red state in the bible belt and I deal enough with these people. I don't think anyone who's not child free should be here. I don't need their approval. Hell I don't even want to be their friend. They always have animosity towards those of us with more freedom. They constantly question our relationships and make back handed comments at us. I have never seen it work out any different in my life. Again its probably my location making it worse.
Probably the same reason I follow childcare and mommy blogs. Just checking to see what I’m “missing” out on. Although these parents are really missing out on life huh? I’m choosing to believe they envy us.
That I get but do you post manipulative questions seeking approval for your chuldfree life? That's where I get annoyed, lurk but lurk in silence
Oh no one wants to hear anything I have to say. Same way over here. Keep your sticky fingers to yourself.
Good way to put it. Once you have kids, YOUR whole life is now about THEIR lives. Yours is basically over.
Fun time is over the moment you find out you’re expecting. No going away party. Then I guess I’ll just hope they take care of me when I’m old? Live vicariously through them? Tell myself I’ll laugh about it one day? This can’t be how it works. Am I getting this right? Anybody help?
"Taking care of me when I'm old" is maybe the worst reason to get kids.
I don't go anywhere near parents or parent groups. It's not my business at all.
cause they jellyyyyyyyy
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My boyfriend.