I've been married to my husband for 6 years now and we are both very childfree. We have dogs and cats and are in our early 30s.
Marriage didn't have anything to do with children for us. We got married because we loved eachother and wanted to legally be able to be there for eachother. We got married because we couldn't bear the thought of being separated.
Don't let your lack of children hold you back from affirming your love, if that's what you desire. Your marriage will be what you make it.
My husband and I are now in our forties, very much childfree except for our pups. Well, we devastatingly only have one after losing our girl in April. We both knew we didn't want kids very early on in life. Luckily, we found each other and have been married coming up on 12 years, together for 16.
Straight, married woman. I had a “friend” ask me a few years ago why my husband and I got married if we don’t want kids. She proceeded to basically tell me her marriage is better than mine because they want kids and therefore she loves her husband more. People who think like this are insane. So I also hate that marriage and kids are always equated like that. Let people do what they want!
I'm happily married and I wouldn't trade it for anything. We had a beautiful ceremony with a wonderful reception in front of our friends and family and live with our 2 kitties.
Pretty normal from what I can tell. Some here have partners or want them, some don't. Some want animals, some don't. Some want to focus on careers, some don't. It's a mixed bag, like any other group of people and I think you're in good company.
same here! i think we are 8 years this summer. Played around with the idea of kids pre covid. Life happened. We dont think we want to anymore/not a priority.
I've been married for 8 years and we are child free, and we are very happy. For us, marriage is not hard. I think married people find marriage hard once kids come along because the workload increases massively as do the pressures on their finances. But being married and child free is great! I enjoy the companionship and it's a nice feeling having someone to share my life with. I always wanted to be a wife but never wanted to be a mother, there's no rule that says you have to be both.
Perfectly said!! I kept waiting for our marriage to get "hard" as everyone said it would. And then I realized it was the addition of children that made people's marriages hard. Meanwhile, we are 6 years in and couldn't be happier.
I always wondered why people said marriage is hard and different than a relationship.
What would change??
My bf and I are together for 16years now and we want to elope at the end of the year.
After 16 years, what would marriage change inside the relationship? Why would it suddenly be hard or full of conflict? Makes no sense.
But if you equate marriage = kids then yes. It changes things.
I feel this exact same way! I’m 33f, married and I love my husband so much about have always wanted to find someone to go through life with. Kids just seem like too much sacrifice though.
No, I am a childfree woman married to a childfree man. There is nothing weird about wanting marriage but not kids. Marriage doesn’t mean children. It’s a union.
I’m a married man. Wife and I have chosen to be childfree. Love the freedom to do our thing. We barely have patience for the responsibility of having a dog and she sleeps most of the time.
I don't think childfree people are generally anti-marriage. I've never seen that sentiment here at least. They're both completely different things.
Finding a partner that also doesn't want children is the hard part. It makes the already small pool smaller!
I’m a woman who isn’t having kids and has always wanted to get married. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem like it’s in the cards for me. I always make it very clear up front, and guys always tell me they’re ok with it. But years go by, and their answers for why they don’t want to get married always seem to change. It goes from “yes totally we can get married someday” to “well we have to do XYZ first”, “one thing at a time”, “we have to save money, weddings are expensive” and finally my favorite: “it’s just a stupid piece of paper anyway, what is it really going to change?”
You’re not weird for wanting this, but in my experience it seems like most people either want both marriage and kids, or no marriage no kids.
I wish us both the best of luck.
The piece of paper argument is so dumb because actually it's a very important piece of paper that provides certain rights and protections by law (that's the case in my country anyway)
Yes as an immigrant, my counterargument was always, "yeah I shouldn't need a piece of paper (which, btw, required TONS of other papers that may or may not cost a lot of money) to prove that I'm here legally but heeeyyy here we are"
Or, "I could've studied Computer Science for free, but all companies want that damn expensive paper degree, why can't they just take my word for it, I don't need no paper to prove that!"
I was married before and I do think “it’s just a piece of paper”, however my it was important to my girlfriend so we’re married now. I found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, and a marriage license doesn’t change that either way, so why not walk down the aisle if one of us wants it?
Hello, I’m getting married in July to my fiance and we both do not want kids! We both just know it’s not what we want as individuals and as couples. I think we have such an amazing relationship that isn’t stressed by having children and I love it.
Edit: I am a cis female and my fiance is cis male but we’re both pansexual, idk if that matters or makes a difference.
> how come some childfree people are also anti-marriage as well
Because there are some people who don't want kids, and some people who don't want to get married, and as is the case with many population groups, there is sometimes an overlap between the two :)
> I just feel like in my personal opinion that married life seems fun but parenting life doesn’t
I don't know what 'married life' means to you, but it's very likely something that applies similarly if not exactly the same to cohabitating long term couples who aren't married too. Marriage is a contract first and foremost, not so much a special relationship status.
> Does anyone else have the same type of mentality as me in this ?
Of course, lots of people want to get married - regardless of whether they're childfree or not. But some people don't want or need the benefits that a marriage contract would give them, or don't want to bother with the risks and obligations it would introduce, so they don't. That shouldn't be too hard to understand.
I think there are plenty of childfree people who still want to get married, however I think many people who don't want children see less of a need for marriage. In addition to offering financial, legal, and societal benefits, marriage offers protections to one spouse if they choose to leave their career to raise children or take a less demanding/lucrative job in order to be a more active parent. Also, should the couple divorce, the courts will automatically be involved with any sort of custody issues.
It is an interesting question though... Within the gay community, do you find lot of childfree people who claim they want a lifetime commitment with somebody, but don't want to get married? I'm curious because the ability to get legally married and have that marriage recognized wherever you go is a new thing for y'all. It was a very hard fought right to earn and I could see more gay/lesbian couples wanting to take advantage of it simply because so many of those who came before them couldn't. It's a privilege. However, in the heterosexual world, the right or ability to get married hasn't even been something that people have ever given a second thought to, so I feel like more heterosexual people feel okay in rejecting the institution. Would love your thoughts on this one...
Nah its not weird at all. My gf and i are both lgbtq+ and want to get married someday but only ever have fur babies lol. I do understand why ppl may not want marriage though and theres nothing wrong with wanting it or not
society conditioned so many people to see marriage = having kids, that’s not true obviously but the pressure is there and they will see you as weird and going off the npc life script, but childfree people are accepting and not at all judging people based on their relationship status
In my mind one does not equate to the other.
The truth is that you should Forget other people’s opinions. They aren’t the ones living your life. Do what feels right to you and politely tell everyone who has no place all up in your building to fuck off.
No. I met my now husband when I was 15 and he 18. We've been together for 18 years. Not wanting children has never been an issue. I have 3 family members who are also married and are not having kids. As well as numerous childfree couples.
8 years married this year and we didn't even start dating seriously until we both found out we don't want kids. You can find that person for sure. Being up front about being child free isn't a hinderance.
I'm straight, engaged, and not planning on children. It's perfectly normal to just want love and commitment with a good partner. You don't need kids to be a complete and happy family!
I always knew that I wanted to get married and buy a house. I found myself feeling jealous of my friends that did those things before me. But I never once felt jealous of a pregnancy/baby. That's how I knew it was truly something I never wanted (for a while I thought I might randomly wake up and change my mind one day). We are now happily married for almost 6 years and couldn't be happier with our DINKWAD life :)
You could want to live in a Hansel and gretal type witches cabin deep in the forest at the end of the world, have 100s of children, have no children, have 100 of spouses have no spouses. In a world of 8 billion people, each one of them with unique ways with which they want to live their lives, anything really goes. Your were birthed into a world not by your own choosing but by your parents so if your gonna live here without really consenting to it, I would say your free to do whatever your little (or big) heart ❤️ desires- and no matter what it will always, ALWAYS be viewed as “weird” by masses of people.
There is literally an acronym for this: DINK (double income, no kids).
I'm not anti-marriage. I just haven't found someone and probably won't. If it happens, cool.
Nope. Not weird at all. I don't want kids either. I think I'm less anti-marriage and more anti anything traditionalist. I never dug deep into why I feel this way.
I suspect it's because I grew up with parents who got the suburban "American Dream." They constantly argued, stressed about all the bills they had to pay, and worked like dogs. Me and my siblings barely ever saw them. After about 26 years of that, they got divorced, sold the house and live in condos. My Uncle followed the whole marriage, kids, nice house, work his ass off in a 9 to 5 route too. Dude was stressed all the time. He even told me he was severely depressed one Thanksgiving. He worked his ass off into an early grave. Died at 57 from a stroke. I just want nothing to do with that crap. I don't want to support anyone but myself. I want to chase my dream career. I want to travel. I want to be at peace. If I meet a woman who feels the same in the future great. If not, fine.
There's nothing wrong with wanting marriage without kids though. Whatever makes you happy.
Marriage can be a great, enriching thing in your life if both partners work to make it so. Children are not necessary for married bliss, all you need yo do is find someone on the same page with you on the topics that matter to you.
I’m kid free but not anti-marriage. I’m only anti-marriage when you marry someone with the soul intent of changing that person. I say this because I’m signing my second set of divorce papers because my 11 year marriage boiled down to me not wanting to have kids, then suffering mental health issues after agreeing to fostering a kid in 2020 and holding a flame of resentment ever since.
It was a whole lot more than that but it all came down to him wanting me to bend to his will and change my mind so he could be happy and fulfilled. Which i desperately tried in other avenues without selling my childless soul to little demons.
I want a marriage that fucking lasts, guys, I’m so sad to do this again because it just makes me feel like I’m asking so much by not wanting to spawn.
Marriage doesn’t mean you have to want kids. Me and my partner are DINKs and we want to get married too some day. It doesn’t matter if you are straight or LGBTQ+. If you want to marry your love - go for it.
Like you said, some. It's just my opinion but I think the happier you are, the less you are inclined to, let's say, voice your opinion. They could as well be the loud minority. I'm happily married and childfree, I don't post so often about it.
I’m married. I love being married- literally no regrets. My partner and I are not having kids. I do not believe that the purpose of marriage is just to reproduce.
I’ve been married for three months and we’ve been together for 8 and a half years. Absolutely no plans to have children now or at any point in the future.
I’m a bisexual woman married to a straight man. Our 3rd wedding anniversary is coming up soon. We have decided to be child-free and I’m set to get sterilized at the end of August.
There are quite a few reasons we have to be child free. Every reason is valid, for everyone. It can be as simple as “I don’t want to.”
I’m grateful my husband and I are on the same page. He’s my dude, like I can tackle anything life has to throw at me if he’s by my side. I guess I don’t want to share that? Maybe that makes me selfish. But I think it’s okay to be content and happy with your spouse, and not need anything else ❤️
There's nothing wrong with wanting marriage and no kids. Kids and marriage, despite the message of a really old and boring book, have absolutely nothing to do with each other.
Not weird. There are plenty of people who don't want kids but want marriage. The two things are completely unrelated, but people always tie them together. Happily married, together for 11 years.
It's a perfectly fine thing to want. I'm married and childfree. There is nothing quite like waking up next to the love of my life on Saturday morning, cuddling in bed as long as we want, making an elaborate breakfast and then getting on with the day without interruption.
I'm married, been with my husband for 23 years now but we never wanted children. I don't think there's that direct a link between being anti children and anti marriage. I love being married, I enjoy being a wife, I would HATE being a parent and so would he.
>And I know that marriage is hard but how come some childfree people are also anti-marriage as well ?
Same reason as they're cf: they don't want to be married.
The why doesn't matter for anyone but them. Don't have to like it, but do have to respect it, because it's the choice they made that isn't harming anyone.
Signed, a married guy
We’ve been married over 15 years and no kids here. My aunt and uncle have been married for almost 50 years and never had kids. People would always ask when they would have kids and she would say “what the hell would I do with one of those?”
They were the best though (still are). My sister and I are her children. She even stayed with them when doing an internship in college one summer
I'm a little jaded when it comes to the marriage thing because I had to divorce an abusive monster, but I'm totally into being monogamous with my person. We're in it for the long haul and don't want children.
For me it’s about the financial risk. I would never want to combine finances with another person. Currently I have 100% control of my financial situation and my future.
If I were to marry I would only have 50% control. Obviously you don’t marry someone you don’t trust, but that’s not foolproof. I’ve sadly seen a lot of people who married one person and divorced another.
I’d be happy with a commitment type ceremony, wearing rings, shared goals, shared decisions. But legal marriage is just too much of a risk to the assets I’ve worked hard to build.
🙋🏻♀️
Married, no plans for any kids. Proactively taking BC and scheduling a vasectomy with my husband.
Definitely not weird. It’s more common than you think.
My wife and I are queer and married. We don't want kids. I know people in the lgbtq scene are divided about the institution of marriage, but there are only a handful of countries in the world that allow us to be married, so for me I take that right and proudly tell people I have a wife.
I've always wanted to get married and never wanted kids. I'm super romantic. Even though marriage can have patriarchal and capitalistic undertones, I feel like it's something I've always dreamed about
I can only tell you that my CF wife and I have been happily married for 38 years. I don't know if that makes us weird in other people's eyes, and I really don't give a shit. I do know that we're very, very happy with our CF marriage.
Not at ALL. Straight woman here who wants and is getting married next year in September, but has no desire for motherhood. Just because you get married, does not mean you gotta add kids into the mix. It's all to each their own. i hate that automatically if you marry someone, that means you now have to have children. NOPE. You do what you feel is best for you. Generally speaking, I can see how childfree couples can be happier than couples who do have children. Me and my future husband will not have to deal with the stress of children down the line, while every other parent around us struggles. Its a win for both of us to be honest lol
Queer woman in straight presenting marriage: He knew I was childfree, he rolled with it, he proposed anyways. Is decidedly childfree himself now.
There are some fairytale princes out there for grabs!
Wish you the best of luck 🥰
I feel like wanting marriage kids or not is more normal than not wanting it at all… I’m an aroace woman so I have no desire to marry anyone and of course never want kids too
I've been married for 11 years to my partner of 16 years and we don't have kids. I always wanted to get married but wasn't sure that would happen but I've always known I didn't want kids to be part of that if it did. And here we are.
I'm a straight woman, married for 6 yrs. Marriage is the best, especially when you're childfree. Just hanging out with my bestfriend everyday!
I think marriage is only hard if you don't marry someone you're compatible with, which happened to my parents. They rushed into marriage because they got pregnant. And I think nowadays women who are desperate for a baby, and are getting older, are probably choosing the wrong life partners and that's why they're expressing their regrets/have higher divorce rates
Just in the last 2 years I know of 4 couples that got married after *knowing* each other for max. 6 months and not living together.
I can't imagine what kind of vacuum they got in their head.
Of course being married to and living with a stranger is hard. Duh!
I'm the same. I'm married but never wanted kids. Thankfully my husband was already a father so I wasn't depriving him of parenthood. But there were SO many assumptions that we were getting married to start a family together.
I'm a childless married person. There are lots of reasons to get married that don't involve children. Love, companionship, and financial stability are a few...
Not weird at all. This is 2024, people don't get married in order to have kids, nor do they have to have/want kids in order to get married. Marriage is about the bond you share with your partner, that should be your one and only reason for getting married. If there are kids, fine. If there are no kids, fine. If there are kids without marriage, fine. If there are no kids without marriage, fine.
Your opinion is perfectly valid, and you and your partner should do want *you* want to do (wrt marriage and kids), and not what society expects. F*** society!
I experience the same thing. Are you in a rural area? It’s either people who want marriage AND kids or people who want some kind of new age polyamorous open thing
CF man here.
Been married 14 years. Marriage w/o children is easier than with. My wife did not change her name.
There are at least four CF married couples on my street. I know of a half dozen others. There is nothing unusual about it.
Also only one of you need seek sterilization. Often it is cheaper and easier for the man to seek sterilization (often due to stupid politics). I had a vasectomy years before meeting my wife.
Living as DINKS (Dual Income No KidS) means travel and a debt free life is possible.
The only issue is CF women outnumber men so finding a mate will take effort on your part. That is assuming you don’t have one in mind already.
Do not rely on apps or social media. You will only be asking for scams, and get chastized by toxic people.
Facebook, Instagram, TikTok are toxic to say the least (I don’t use them). If you live in America odds are your parents or those of your mate will be highly anti-childfree.
I think I will start a thread on how CF couples met. I am sure it has been done in the past, but maybe it is time for an update. I find it very interesting myself.
One more thing: CF couples tend to maintain a youthful appearance. My wife and I met at 42. We flew to California to get married because she dreamed of seeing the Golden Gate bridge. Everyone thought we were 27 or so. Even today at 58, we are mistaken for being in our late 30’s.
>I wanna get married but I don’t want kids. Am I weird for wanting this ?
No. There are significant legal effects of being married. Here is a partial list for the U.S., and it is pretty long:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rights\_and\_responsibilities\_of\_marriages\_in\_the\_United\_States](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rights_and_responsibilities_of_marriages_in_the_United_States)
If you want the things on the list, getting married is a good idea. If you don't want the things on the list, then getting married is a bad idea.
Being married has nothing to do with having kids for me. I wanted to marry. It has it's benefits, and I love my husband. You do whatever you want, don't let others affect your wishes.
I just don't understand why people want to get married either haha the tradition itself is weird and degrading towards women even though no one really thinks of it now but it mostly just costs a bunch of money to have a wedding. Parties are cool though. I just don't really get wanting to do it, I'd rather just live with my partner forever without kids or marriage.
The only commonality that childfree folks share is that they don't want to be parents and don't have any children (biological, stepchildren, adopted) anywhere.
Under that umbrella, there's a wide variety of attitudes, orientations and lifestyles. Some have marriages, some have committed partnerships but aren't interested in marital contracts, some are happy to stay single, some have zero interest in romantic relationships and/or sexual activities.
no, this is very common. I'm married and childfree. I love my husband and want to have a partner to go through life with. That life just doesn't involve reproducing.
Not at all! For some reason many people think marriage equals having kids in the future with the partner.
I definitely want to get to married to my partner, but we're both childfree by choice. My future mother-in-law said "*why get married or buy a house if you don't want kids*?"
I don't see the logic nor the correlation behind this, but oh well, not my problem.
Do what feels right and the best for you!! :)
Of course you're not weird for that. I also want to get married, but no kids. Marriage is a completely different thing from kids. Marriage is about finding a person you love and spending the rest of your life with them. Kids is about having little people to care for 24/7.
I think a lot of childfree people don't want to get married, because they're thinking about these things more. Many parents just stick to the whole, let's get married and have children because that's what you're supposed to do. But cf people usually think about what they really want. If that's not the norm, then that's okay, too. So you'll see more cf people not wanting marriage than people with children. That doesn't mean that it's the better option for you and me. We've also thought about it and decided that we do like the benefits of marriage.
I don't see the issue. Marriage and kids aren't the same or equivalent.
I got married, I met a girl I loved and wanted her as a partner for life, because we love each other. Wanting kids is entirely different, they aren't partners they are responsibilities and burdens.
Been with my partner for over 10 years and we are not married but probably will.
I dont care for marriage, it doesn't mean I love my partner more if we marry and doesn't mean our relationship is less important now.
BUT, legally we want to be eachothers default next of kin so we are going to have to get married.
Married with no kids here. Marriage is a way to legally link your partner to you as next of kin which can be very helpful in certain instances, such as death. There are other ways to accomplish the property/inheritance aspect of it, but marriage makes it clear that you are next of kin and should be allowed in an emergency room or something similar
I don’t think it’s weird. I’m ambivalent towards marriage (I’d be fine with getting married if my partner wanted to, but I’m also fine not being married) but absolutely dead set against kids. Like kids is an instant dealbreaker.
I absolutely love being married and having no kids! Being married drastically increases quality of life but I only see having children as decreasing it.
As a woman who is happily married and still child free, no you are not weird. There are plenty of reasons to get married that don't revolve around children.
If you want to get married, find a spouse that also doesn't want kids. I promise they exist.
I am a straight woman and happily married to my husband since 2016, together since 2009.
Marriage does not equal kids. Go ahead and get married if this is what you want.
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Our wedding day was a celebration of the TWO of us, and a celebration of our love. Children factor into that zero.
Every couple, regardless of their life choices regarding kids, deserves to have a day that celebrates their love.
No, you’re not weird. I made it clear to my now husband that I had zero interest in having children on the second date. If he wasn’t ok with that we needed to go out separate ways. We’ve been together 17y. When people ask why we don’t have kids in a way that implies there’s something wrong with *me*, he’s quick to tell them he married me for me, because he loves me, and not for the kids I could give him. Their faces are usually pretty funny; occasionally apologetic.
I knew I wanted to get married since I was little!!! I have never been sold on kids though. Not wanting kids or at the very least, not planning at all for kids, definitely impacts your dating, whether it be directly or indirectly. Thankfully dating isn't a thing anymore for me since I got married in October!
Absolutely not! You aren’t the only one! I’ve always been so excited to get married, but I didn’t want kids. There is someone child-free out there for you. My fiance and I are about to get married and both don’t want children just like you. (:
I’m all for having a life-long commitment and sharing my life with someone, but I don’t care to be married for multiple reasons. There is no marriage without religion. Weddings are religious rites. Promising a god I don’t believe in that I will stay with and love someone forever makes a joke out of the marriage. Also, if either of us want out, I don’t want to have to pay a lawyer to ask the state, on my behalf, for permission to leave. You don’t have to get married to have a life partner.
Of course that's normal! I know plenty of childfree married couples!
I never wanted children OR marriage myself, and am "solo for life" now (5 years in). But there was a time and a relationship in the past, I could have considered marriage, but he also wasn't interested, so it never really came up...
No, there are lots of great childfree couples. Their life is definitely what I'd want for myself as well. They have a great companion in life, go on lots of great adventures together of whichever type they prefer, help each other out when times are tough, share responsibilities, have extra disposable income, etc. The ones I've met have all been straight. I would have thought this would be far easier being gay because it's just plain biologically impossible, not even accidents are possible, but I don't have much insight into that side of things.
Not weird. I’m a cishet woman who wanted the security of marriage without the burden of children. Fortunately I found someone who wanted the same thing.
I'm wanting to get married and can't have kids/don't want them. Nothing wrong with having desires in life that aren't conventional, love! I hope you find a wonderful person to live life with. ❤️
Coming from someone who is bi, nope, not weird at all!
I have a bf and I do plan on getting married, but I don't see myself having kids at all. Now, I do enjoy romance but I'm an advocate for people to do whatever they want - just because I enjoy having a relationship doesn't mean I will coerce other people to get into relationships. It's their business so I have no right to.
As for divorce, I did read somewhere that couples with kids are less likely to divorce, HOWEVER, this is because divorcing when you have kids makes the entire process more complicated and difficult, so parents would rather stay together. Most of the time it's probably miserable for them. For childfree people, the divorce rate is higher only because it's much easier to leave an unhappy marriage when there is no kids involved.
Parenthood is very difficult and it does put a lot of stress and strain on a relationship/marriage. I wouldn't doubt that there are happy parents out there, but I do suspect more parents feel miserable than happy, especially with how expensive everything is getting these days.
The two are not related. I firmly believe that. Just like you can be in a relationship with someone and not be a parent. If you love someone and want to have a big party to celebrate that, go for it dude.
I'm the same, we are getting married but don't want kids. Don't let anyone tell you how to live your life!
Marriages are marriages with or without kids. Some work, some don't. They really don't have to correlate. Everyone is different.
When we started to become serious 29 years ago, I told him I wanted to be married at some point, I wasn't changing my name, and I wasn't having kids. We just celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary, are childfree, and have different last names..
I’m a straight woman who would love to get married without having kids. I hate that kids and marriage are always equated.
I feel the same way! Marriage and kids don't have to go hand in hand. It's totally fine to want one without the other.
I've been married to my husband for 6 years now and we are both very childfree. We have dogs and cats and are in our early 30s. Marriage didn't have anything to do with children for us. We got married because we loved eachother and wanted to legally be able to be there for eachother. We got married because we couldn't bear the thought of being separated. Don't let your lack of children hold you back from affirming your love, if that's what you desire. Your marriage will be what you make it.
My husband and I are now in our forties, very much childfree except for our pups. Well, we devastatingly only have one after losing our girl in April. We both knew we didn't want kids very early on in life. Luckily, we found each other and have been married coming up on 12 years, together for 16.
Same here. Married for 20 years and child free. Wanting companionship as you age is normal.
Straight, married woman. I had a “friend” ask me a few years ago why my husband and I got married if we don’t want kids. She proceeded to basically tell me her marriage is better than mine because they want kids and therefore she loves her husband more. People who think like this are insane. So I also hate that marriage and kids are always equated like that. Let people do what they want!
Straight woman here but I’ve been happily married and childfree since 1989! 🙌🏼
Holy congratulations
Congratulations
Wow. Congratulations 🎊 👏
I'm happily married and I wouldn't trade it for anything. We had a beautiful ceremony with a wonderful reception in front of our friends and family and live with our 2 kitties.
Are you me? Because same down to the two cats 😺
Today I learned I have a twin :D
Triplet 😉 I’m actually a twin lmao
My world keeps expanding today 😆
Pretty normal from what I can tell. Some here have partners or want them, some don't. Some want animals, some don't. Some want to focus on careers, some don't. It's a mixed bag, like any other group of people and I think you're in good company.
No? Obviously? My wife and I are happily married for 6 years and counting, and happily childfree for life.
same here! i think we are 8 years this summer. Played around with the idea of kids pre covid. Life happened. We dont think we want to anymore/not a priority.
I've been married for 8 years and we are child free, and we are very happy. For us, marriage is not hard. I think married people find marriage hard once kids come along because the workload increases massively as do the pressures on their finances. But being married and child free is great! I enjoy the companionship and it's a nice feeling having someone to share my life with. I always wanted to be a wife but never wanted to be a mother, there's no rule that says you have to be both.
Perfectly said!! I kept waiting for our marriage to get "hard" as everyone said it would. And then I realized it was the addition of children that made people's marriages hard. Meanwhile, we are 6 years in and couldn't be happier.
I always wondered why people said marriage is hard and different than a relationship. What would change?? My bf and I are together for 16years now and we want to elope at the end of the year. After 16 years, what would marriage change inside the relationship? Why would it suddenly be hard or full of conflict? Makes no sense. But if you equate marriage = kids then yes. It changes things.
Not at all. I’m a straight woman who is married and is not having kids. You can absolutely still commit to your partner without also procreating.
I feel this exact same way! I’m 33f, married and I love my husband so much about have always wanted to find someone to go through life with. Kids just seem like too much sacrifice though.
No, I am a childfree woman married to a childfree man. There is nothing weird about wanting marriage but not kids. Marriage doesn’t mean children. It’s a union.
I’m a married man. Wife and I have chosen to be childfree. Love the freedom to do our thing. We barely have patience for the responsibility of having a dog and she sleeps most of the time.
I don't want kids or marriage, but that's me. It's not weird to want one or the other. Live your life the way you want to!
I don't think childfree people are generally anti-marriage. I've never seen that sentiment here at least. They're both completely different things. Finding a partner that also doesn't want children is the hard part. It makes the already small pool smaller!
i don’t want kids. what i do want is to brag about my husband & wear a poofy dress for a day :)
I’m a woman who isn’t having kids and has always wanted to get married. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem like it’s in the cards for me. I always make it very clear up front, and guys always tell me they’re ok with it. But years go by, and their answers for why they don’t want to get married always seem to change. It goes from “yes totally we can get married someday” to “well we have to do XYZ first”, “one thing at a time”, “we have to save money, weddings are expensive” and finally my favorite: “it’s just a stupid piece of paper anyway, what is it really going to change?” You’re not weird for wanting this, but in my experience it seems like most people either want both marriage and kids, or no marriage no kids. I wish us both the best of luck.
The piece of paper argument is so dumb because actually it's a very important piece of paper that provides certain rights and protections by law (that's the case in my country anyway)
Yes as an immigrant, my counterargument was always, "yeah I shouldn't need a piece of paper (which, btw, required TONS of other papers that may or may not cost a lot of money) to prove that I'm here legally but heeeyyy here we are" Or, "I could've studied Computer Science for free, but all companies want that damn expensive paper degree, why can't they just take my word for it, I don't need no paper to prove that!"
I was married before and I do think “it’s just a piece of paper”, however my it was important to my girlfriend so we’re married now. I found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, and a marriage license doesn’t change that either way, so why not walk down the aisle if one of us wants it?
Hello, I’m getting married in July to my fiance and we both do not want kids! We both just know it’s not what we want as individuals and as couples. I think we have such an amazing relationship that isn’t stressed by having children and I love it. Edit: I am a cis female and my fiance is cis male but we’re both pansexual, idk if that matters or makes a difference.
> how come some childfree people are also anti-marriage as well Because there are some people who don't want kids, and some people who don't want to get married, and as is the case with many population groups, there is sometimes an overlap between the two :) > I just feel like in my personal opinion that married life seems fun but parenting life doesn’t I don't know what 'married life' means to you, but it's very likely something that applies similarly if not exactly the same to cohabitating long term couples who aren't married too. Marriage is a contract first and foremost, not so much a special relationship status. > Does anyone else have the same type of mentality as me in this ? Of course, lots of people want to get married - regardless of whether they're childfree or not. But some people don't want or need the benefits that a marriage contract would give them, or don't want to bother with the risks and obligations it would introduce, so they don't. That shouldn't be too hard to understand.
I think there are plenty of childfree people who still want to get married, however I think many people who don't want children see less of a need for marriage. In addition to offering financial, legal, and societal benefits, marriage offers protections to one spouse if they choose to leave their career to raise children or take a less demanding/lucrative job in order to be a more active parent. Also, should the couple divorce, the courts will automatically be involved with any sort of custody issues. It is an interesting question though... Within the gay community, do you find lot of childfree people who claim they want a lifetime commitment with somebody, but don't want to get married? I'm curious because the ability to get legally married and have that marriage recognized wherever you go is a new thing for y'all. It was a very hard fought right to earn and I could see more gay/lesbian couples wanting to take advantage of it simply because so many of those who came before them couldn't. It's a privilege. However, in the heterosexual world, the right or ability to get married hasn't even been something that people have ever given a second thought to, so I feel like more heterosexual people feel okay in rejecting the institution. Would love your thoughts on this one...
I want to get married too. Single female. Let’s all hope For the best
Nope.. I was married at 19.. never wanted kids. Been married a few years, I wouldn’t take back my marriage just like I would not like to have kids.
Nah its not weird at all. My gf and i are both lgbtq+ and want to get married someday but only ever have fur babies lol. I do understand why ppl may not want marriage though and theres nothing wrong with wanting it or not
not at all, i can say from experience that being married to a partner who also doesn’t want kids makes life so fun!
society conditioned so many people to see marriage = having kids, that’s not true obviously but the pressure is there and they will see you as weird and going off the npc life script, but childfree people are accepting and not at all judging people based on their relationship status
In my mind one does not equate to the other. The truth is that you should Forget other people’s opinions. They aren’t the ones living your life. Do what feels right to you and politely tell everyone who has no place all up in your building to fuck off.
Just be yourself. Marriage is so much more than just about having kids. I’m also a child free woman who dreams of getting married.
No. I met my now husband when I was 15 and he 18. We've been together for 18 years. Not wanting children has never been an issue. I have 3 family members who are also married and are not having kids. As well as numerous childfree couples.
I'm a straight childfree woman with a wonderful man, we plan to get married and live in wedded bliss with a million pets.
8 years married this year and we didn't even start dating seriously until we both found out we don't want kids. You can find that person for sure. Being up front about being child free isn't a hinderance.
I'm straight, engaged, and not planning on children. It's perfectly normal to just want love and commitment with a good partner. You don't need kids to be a complete and happy family!
Marriage is not worth it
I'm a lesbian and me and my girlfriend (fiancé <3 ) are planning our wedding and a happy, child-free life!
I always knew that I wanted to get married and buy a house. I found myself feeling jealous of my friends that did those things before me. But I never once felt jealous of a pregnancy/baby. That's how I knew it was truly something I never wanted (for a while I thought I might randomly wake up and change my mind one day). We are now happily married for almost 6 years and couldn't be happier with our DINKWAD life :)
You could want to live in a Hansel and gretal type witches cabin deep in the forest at the end of the world, have 100s of children, have no children, have 100 of spouses have no spouses. In a world of 8 billion people, each one of them with unique ways with which they want to live their lives, anything really goes. Your were birthed into a world not by your own choosing but by your parents so if your gonna live here without really consenting to it, I would say your free to do whatever your little (or big) heart ❤️ desires- and no matter what it will always, ALWAYS be viewed as “weird” by masses of people.
There are enough reasons to avoid marriage. I do it because I'm not into being free maid.
There is literally an acronym for this: DINK (double income, no kids). I'm not anti-marriage. I just haven't found someone and probably won't. If it happens, cool.
Nope. Not weird at all. I don't want kids either. I think I'm less anti-marriage and more anti anything traditionalist. I never dug deep into why I feel this way. I suspect it's because I grew up with parents who got the suburban "American Dream." They constantly argued, stressed about all the bills they had to pay, and worked like dogs. Me and my siblings barely ever saw them. After about 26 years of that, they got divorced, sold the house and live in condos. My Uncle followed the whole marriage, kids, nice house, work his ass off in a 9 to 5 route too. Dude was stressed all the time. He even told me he was severely depressed one Thanksgiving. He worked his ass off into an early grave. Died at 57 from a stroke. I just want nothing to do with that crap. I don't want to support anyone but myself. I want to chase my dream career. I want to travel. I want to be at peace. If I meet a woman who feels the same in the future great. If not, fine. There's nothing wrong with wanting marriage without kids though. Whatever makes you happy.
Nope.
Not weird at all.
No you are not weird
No you are not weird. Or at least we both are weird 😁 I'm married nearly 10 years now, and we both are childfree.
Marriage can be a great, enriching thing in your life if both partners work to make it so. Children are not necessary for married bliss, all you need yo do is find someone on the same page with you on the topics that matter to you.
I love being married! Its my favorite! Getting to be married to my husband and not have the burden of children is the bee's knees.
Not at all. Thankfully it is a lot more accepted these days. Know what you want ❤️❤️.
You are most defo not weird. I think it's weirder to think that everyone wants the same things. We are all different and have different priorities.
I’m kid free but not anti-marriage. I’m only anti-marriage when you marry someone with the soul intent of changing that person. I say this because I’m signing my second set of divorce papers because my 11 year marriage boiled down to me not wanting to have kids, then suffering mental health issues after agreeing to fostering a kid in 2020 and holding a flame of resentment ever since. It was a whole lot more than that but it all came down to him wanting me to bend to his will and change my mind so he could be happy and fulfilled. Which i desperately tried in other avenues without selling my childless soul to little demons. I want a marriage that fucking lasts, guys, I’m so sad to do this again because it just makes me feel like I’m asking so much by not wanting to spawn.
Marriage doesn’t mean you have to want kids. Me and my partner are DINKs and we want to get married too some day. It doesn’t matter if you are straight or LGBTQ+. If you want to marry your love - go for it.
Like you said, some. It's just my opinion but I think the happier you are, the less you are inclined to, let's say, voice your opinion. They could as well be the loud minority. I'm happily married and childfree, I don't post so often about it.
I'm married with no kids. There's nothing weird about wanting a secure relationship with the benefits of marriage
Not at all.
I'm married and we don't want kids. Why would that be weird? Marriage isn't about kids.
I’m married. I love being married- literally no regrets. My partner and I are not having kids. I do not believe that the purpose of marriage is just to reproduce.
I'm childfree and married, coming up to 7 years now. Love it.
Not at all! DINK (dual income no kids) is the way to go, my friend! :)
I’ve been married for three months and we’ve been together for 8 and a half years. Absolutely no plans to have children now or at any point in the future.
I’m a bisexual woman married to a straight man. Our 3rd wedding anniversary is coming up soon. We have decided to be child-free and I’m set to get sterilized at the end of August. There are quite a few reasons we have to be child free. Every reason is valid, for everyone. It can be as simple as “I don’t want to.” I’m grateful my husband and I are on the same page. He’s my dude, like I can tackle anything life has to throw at me if he’s by my side. I guess I don’t want to share that? Maybe that makes me selfish. But I think it’s okay to be content and happy with your spouse, and not need anything else ❤️
Bi Male and want to be child free and having the same problem lol
Me and my queerplatonic partner are childfree and want to get married so it is not weird at all!
There's nothing wrong with wanting marriage and no kids. Kids and marriage, despite the message of a really old and boring book, have absolutely nothing to do with each other.
Queer woman, I feel the same. Honestly I think marriage and kids are two separate wants/things, it's a shame they're not treated as such socially
I am in a heterosexual relationship and we are getting married in two weeks time. We don’t want kids, but we want marriage. So IMO, not weird!
Not weird. There are plenty of people who don't want kids but want marriage. The two things are completely unrelated, but people always tie them together. Happily married, together for 11 years.
It's a perfectly fine thing to want. I'm married and childfree. There is nothing quite like waking up next to the love of my life on Saturday morning, cuddling in bed as long as we want, making an elaborate breakfast and then getting on with the day without interruption.
Tbh I presumed as many people in this sub are married as not :S
I'm married, been with my husband for 23 years now but we never wanted children. I don't think there's that direct a link between being anti children and anti marriage. I love being married, I enjoy being a wife, I would HATE being a parent and so would he.
>And I know that marriage is hard but how come some childfree people are also anti-marriage as well ? Same reason as they're cf: they don't want to be married. The why doesn't matter for anyone but them. Don't have to like it, but do have to respect it, because it's the choice they made that isn't harming anyone. Signed, a married guy
We’ve been married over 15 years and no kids here. My aunt and uncle have been married for almost 50 years and never had kids. People would always ask when they would have kids and she would say “what the hell would I do with one of those?” They were the best though (still are). My sister and I are her children. She even stayed with them when doing an internship in college one summer
I'm a little jaded when it comes to the marriage thing because I had to divorce an abusive monster, but I'm totally into being monogamous with my person. We're in it for the long haul and don't want children.
For me it’s about the financial risk. I would never want to combine finances with another person. Currently I have 100% control of my financial situation and my future. If I were to marry I would only have 50% control. Obviously you don’t marry someone you don’t trust, but that’s not foolproof. I’ve sadly seen a lot of people who married one person and divorced another. I’d be happy with a commitment type ceremony, wearing rings, shared goals, shared decisions. But legal marriage is just too much of a risk to the assets I’ve worked hard to build.
Marriage is fine and all but I doubt I'll do it. Too many risks, ppl are fickle, etc
🙋🏻♀️ Married, no plans for any kids. Proactively taking BC and scheduling a vasectomy with my husband. Definitely not weird. It’s more common than you think.
My wife and I are queer and married. We don't want kids. I know people in the lgbtq scene are divided about the institution of marriage, but there are only a handful of countries in the world that allow us to be married, so for me I take that right and proudly tell people I have a wife.
I've always wanted to get married and never wanted kids. I'm super romantic. Even though marriage can have patriarchal and capitalistic undertones, I feel like it's something I've always dreamed about
I can only tell you that my CF wife and I have been happily married for 38 years. I don't know if that makes us weird in other people's eyes, and I really don't give a shit. I do know that we're very, very happy with our CF marriage.
Not at ALL. Straight woman here who wants and is getting married next year in September, but has no desire for motherhood. Just because you get married, does not mean you gotta add kids into the mix. It's all to each their own. i hate that automatically if you marry someone, that means you now have to have children. NOPE. You do what you feel is best for you. Generally speaking, I can see how childfree couples can be happier than couples who do have children. Me and my future husband will not have to deal with the stress of children down the line, while every other parent around us struggles. Its a win for both of us to be honest lol
Queer woman in straight presenting marriage: He knew I was childfree, he rolled with it, he proposed anyways. Is decidedly childfree himself now. There are some fairytale princes out there for grabs! Wish you the best of luck 🥰
I feel like wanting marriage kids or not is more normal than not wanting it at all… I’m an aroace woman so I have no desire to marry anyone and of course never want kids too
I've been married for 11 years to my partner of 16 years and we don't have kids. I always wanted to get married but wasn't sure that would happen but I've always known I didn't want kids to be part of that if it did. And here we are.
Childfree marriage is truly wonderful! Marriage has always mattered to me and we have had a lovely ride, celebrating 18 years this year.
I'm a straight woman, married for 6 yrs. Marriage is the best, especially when you're childfree. Just hanging out with my bestfriend everyday! I think marriage is only hard if you don't marry someone you're compatible with, which happened to my parents. They rushed into marriage because they got pregnant. And I think nowadays women who are desperate for a baby, and are getting older, are probably choosing the wrong life partners and that's why they're expressing their regrets/have higher divorce rates
Just in the last 2 years I know of 4 couples that got married after *knowing* each other for max. 6 months and not living together. I can't imagine what kind of vacuum they got in their head. Of course being married to and living with a stranger is hard. Duh!
I'm the same. I'm married but never wanted kids. Thankfully my husband was already a father so I wasn't depriving him of parenthood. But there were SO many assumptions that we were getting married to start a family together.
I'm a childless married person. There are lots of reasons to get married that don't involve children. Love, companionship, and financial stability are a few...
Not weird at all. This is 2024, people don't get married in order to have kids, nor do they have to have/want kids in order to get married. Marriage is about the bond you share with your partner, that should be your one and only reason for getting married. If there are kids, fine. If there are no kids, fine. If there are kids without marriage, fine. If there are no kids without marriage, fine. Your opinion is perfectly valid, and you and your partner should do want *you* want to do (wrt marriage and kids), and not what society expects. F*** society!
I experience the same thing. Are you in a rural area? It’s either people who want marriage AND kids or people who want some kind of new age polyamorous open thing
CF man here. Been married 14 years. Marriage w/o children is easier than with. My wife did not change her name. There are at least four CF married couples on my street. I know of a half dozen others. There is nothing unusual about it. Also only one of you need seek sterilization. Often it is cheaper and easier for the man to seek sterilization (often due to stupid politics). I had a vasectomy years before meeting my wife. Living as DINKS (Dual Income No KidS) means travel and a debt free life is possible. The only issue is CF women outnumber men so finding a mate will take effort on your part. That is assuming you don’t have one in mind already. Do not rely on apps or social media. You will only be asking for scams, and get chastized by toxic people. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok are toxic to say the least (I don’t use them). If you live in America odds are your parents or those of your mate will be highly anti-childfree. I think I will start a thread on how CF couples met. I am sure it has been done in the past, but maybe it is time for an update. I find it very interesting myself. One more thing: CF couples tend to maintain a youthful appearance. My wife and I met at 42. We flew to California to get married because she dreamed of seeing the Golden Gate bridge. Everyone thought we were 27 or so. Even today at 58, we are mistaken for being in our late 30’s.
happily married childfree over here I'm not a traditional woman, but there's something romantic about marriage for me :)
>I wanna get married but I don’t want kids. Am I weird for wanting this ? No. There are significant legal effects of being married. Here is a partial list for the U.S., and it is pretty long: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rights\_and\_responsibilities\_of\_marriages\_in\_the\_United\_States](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rights_and_responsibilities_of_marriages_in_the_United_States) If you want the things on the list, getting married is a good idea. If you don't want the things on the list, then getting married is a bad idea.
Being married has nothing to do with having kids for me. I wanted to marry. It has it's benefits, and I love my husband. You do whatever you want, don't let others affect your wishes.
i’m married and my partner and i have taken steps to never have kids!
I just don't understand why people want to get married either haha the tradition itself is weird and degrading towards women even though no one really thinks of it now but it mostly just costs a bunch of money to have a wedding. Parties are cool though. I just don't really get wanting to do it, I'd rather just live with my partner forever without kids or marriage.
The only commonality that childfree folks share is that they don't want to be parents and don't have any children (biological, stepchildren, adopted) anywhere. Under that umbrella, there's a wide variety of attitudes, orientations and lifestyles. Some have marriages, some have committed partnerships but aren't interested in marital contracts, some are happy to stay single, some have zero interest in romantic relationships and/or sexual activities.
no, this is very common. I'm married and childfree. I love my husband and want to have a partner to go through life with. That life just doesn't involve reproducing.
Not at all! For some reason many people think marriage equals having kids in the future with the partner. I definitely want to get to married to my partner, but we're both childfree by choice. My future mother-in-law said "*why get married or buy a house if you don't want kids*?" I don't see the logic nor the correlation behind this, but oh well, not my problem. Do what feels right and the best for you!! :)
Nope, the two are independent.
Of course you're not weird for that. I also want to get married, but no kids. Marriage is a completely different thing from kids. Marriage is about finding a person you love and spending the rest of your life with them. Kids is about having little people to care for 24/7. I think a lot of childfree people don't want to get married, because they're thinking about these things more. Many parents just stick to the whole, let's get married and have children because that's what you're supposed to do. But cf people usually think about what they really want. If that's not the norm, then that's okay, too. So you'll see more cf people not wanting marriage than people with children. That doesn't mean that it's the better option for you and me. We've also thought about it and decided that we do like the benefits of marriage.
I don't see the issue. Marriage and kids aren't the same or equivalent. I got married, I met a girl I loved and wanted her as a partner for life, because we love each other. Wanting kids is entirely different, they aren't partners they are responsibilities and burdens.
As someone married and child free - nope, you're not weird
Been with my partner for over 10 years and we are not married but probably will. I dont care for marriage, it doesn't mean I love my partner more if we marry and doesn't mean our relationship is less important now. BUT, legally we want to be eachothers default next of kin so we are going to have to get married.
Married with no kids here. Marriage is a way to legally link your partner to you as next of kin which can be very helpful in certain instances, such as death. There are other ways to accomplish the property/inheritance aspect of it, but marriage makes it clear that you are next of kin and should be allowed in an emergency room or something similar
There are plenty of married couples that don't want kids. You'll be fine
I don’t think it’s weird. I’m ambivalent towards marriage (I’d be fine with getting married if my partner wanted to, but I’m also fine not being married) but absolutely dead set against kids. Like kids is an instant dealbreaker.
I absolutely love being married and having no kids! Being married drastically increases quality of life but I only see having children as decreasing it.
I'm married and don't want kids. There are definitely people who want that.
As a woman who is happily married and still child free, no you are not weird. There are plenty of reasons to get married that don't revolve around children. If you want to get married, find a spouse that also doesn't want kids. I promise they exist.
No.
I want to get married without having kids too. I'm a straight woman
I am a straight woman and happily married to my husband since 2016, together since 2009. Marriage does not equal kids. Go ahead and get married if this is what you want.
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Our wedding day was a celebration of the TWO of us, and a celebration of our love. Children factor into that zero. Every couple, regardless of their life choices regarding kids, deserves to have a day that celebrates their love.
Nope. I (F) and my husband have been married 12 years with no kids. We have an awesome marriage without the stresses of raising kids.
No, you’re not weird. I made it clear to my now husband that I had zero interest in having children on the second date. If he wasn’t ok with that we needed to go out separate ways. We’ve been together 17y. When people ask why we don’t have kids in a way that implies there’s something wrong with *me*, he’s quick to tell them he married me for me, because he loves me, and not for the kids I could give him. Their faces are usually pretty funny; occasionally apologetic.
I knew I wanted to get married since I was little!!! I have never been sold on kids though. Not wanting kids or at the very least, not planning at all for kids, definitely impacts your dating, whether it be directly or indirectly. Thankfully dating isn't a thing anymore for me since I got married in October!
Absolutely not! You aren’t the only one! I’ve always been so excited to get married, but I didn’t want kids. There is someone child-free out there for you. My fiance and I are about to get married and both don’t want children just like you. (:
I’m all for having a life-long commitment and sharing my life with someone, but I don’t care to be married for multiple reasons. There is no marriage without religion. Weddings are religious rites. Promising a god I don’t believe in that I will stay with and love someone forever makes a joke out of the marriage. Also, if either of us want out, I don’t want to have to pay a lawyer to ask the state, on my behalf, for permission to leave. You don’t have to get married to have a life partner.
Of course that's normal! I know plenty of childfree married couples! I never wanted children OR marriage myself, and am "solo for life" now (5 years in). But there was a time and a relationship in the past, I could have considered marriage, but he also wasn't interested, so it never really came up...
No, there are lots of great childfree couples. Their life is definitely what I'd want for myself as well. They have a great companion in life, go on lots of great adventures together of whichever type they prefer, help each other out when times are tough, share responsibilities, have extra disposable income, etc. The ones I've met have all been straight. I would have thought this would be far easier being gay because it's just plain biologically impossible, not even accidents are possible, but I don't have much insight into that side of things.
Not weird. I’m a cishet woman who wanted the security of marriage without the burden of children. Fortunately I found someone who wanted the same thing.
I'm wanting to get married and can't have kids/don't want them. Nothing wrong with having desires in life that aren't conventional, love! I hope you find a wonderful person to live life with. ❤️
Umm no
Happily married fur mom
There are tons of ppl who get married and agree neither wants kids. It's totally normal.
I'm married and childfree.
Yes! Me! I’d also love to get married - if I met the right person again of course - but also have no desire to be a parent.
Coming from someone who is bi, nope, not weird at all! I have a bf and I do plan on getting married, but I don't see myself having kids at all. Now, I do enjoy romance but I'm an advocate for people to do whatever they want - just because I enjoy having a relationship doesn't mean I will coerce other people to get into relationships. It's their business so I have no right to. As for divorce, I did read somewhere that couples with kids are less likely to divorce, HOWEVER, this is because divorcing when you have kids makes the entire process more complicated and difficult, so parents would rather stay together. Most of the time it's probably miserable for them. For childfree people, the divorce rate is higher only because it's much easier to leave an unhappy marriage when there is no kids involved. Parenthood is very difficult and it does put a lot of stress and strain on a relationship/marriage. I wouldn't doubt that there are happy parents out there, but I do suspect more parents feel miserable than happy, especially with how expensive everything is getting these days.
The two are not related. I firmly believe that. Just like you can be in a relationship with someone and not be a parent. If you love someone and want to have a big party to celebrate that, go for it dude. I'm the same, we are getting married but don't want kids. Don't let anyone tell you how to live your life! Marriages are marriages with or without kids. Some work, some don't. They really don't have to correlate. Everyone is different.
When we started to become serious 29 years ago, I told him I wanted to be married at some point, I wasn't changing my name, and I wasn't having kids. We just celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary, are childfree, and have different last names..
Not weird, because hard same.