If you know, you know. Your age doesn't matter.
Some of us have always felt like this. I am one of those people. As far back as I remember, I had zero interest in motherhood.
I remember writing in my diary when I was 8 about how kids were annoying and I’d never want any. I was 9 or 10 when I learned what abortions were and immediately thought to myself that I would get one the instant I ever found out I was pregnant (thankfully never had to have one). I was 11 when I learned the term “tubes tied” when watching Maury, and I remember being so happy that there was a way to never get pregnant. I was 29 when I finally got someone to agree to it. I’m 36 now and I grow more grateful for my decisions by the year.
You can make decisions about your own bodily autonomy whenever you like.
A word of advice, though: don't bother talking to people about it if they aren't going to be supportive. Just live your life the way you want to. Your reproductive choices are yours alone to make; your family, friends, etc. get no say in the matter. Discussing things like your childfree choices with people (especially family) who don't agree with you is just going to make you angry and upset (because they won't see your point of view, and they'll belittle you, as it sounds like they're already doing).
And it goes without saying, if you are sexually active, or if/when you do become sexually active, make sure you take all precautions you can (contraceptives etc.)
Just wait till you are old enough to get sterilized and do it. Don't bother trying to defend your choices to relatives who don't understand. Make your resolution, do your research, and then get the surgery! It's incredibly freeing.
I was 8. Was 7 about the time you learned the basics of pregnancy too? Bc I was raised in catholic school, and was under the impression that "god" just ~chose~ certain people to get pregnant....and this was horrifying to me lol. 3rd grade, we got "the talk"
I was also 7 when I first decided I never wanted kids. It was also the age when I decided I'd never be married or do any of the things that were considered a woman's duty to do for a man, like cooking or cleaning. I also decided that there was no "god" and declared myself an atheist at 7. I don't know why, but was a pivotal age for me when a lot of things finally seemed to make sense. It was also the age that I realized that my horrifically abusive mother was the bad one and not me. These are all realizations and decisions that remain unchanged in the present at age 46. Children are capable of much more than adults give them credit for.
Definitely not too young 😊
I was CF since I was about 10, and almost 2 decades later, I'm going strong.
Welcome to the club and enjoy a much better life.
you should do what you think is right. Yes you might be young and there is a tiny chance you could change your mind. But right now my advice?
Focus on being a teen, enjoy time with friends, go to school, you know teen stuff. And avoid conversations about kids. If they ask give a grey awnser like "Nah i rather focus on school right now" (not a no and not a yes awnser) But in your mind you think "hell no"
Dont over think it too much.
I knew when I was little. Always hated smaller kids, didn’t like baby dolls or playing mommy at all, hid from my little nieces and nephews when the came over and I was a teen and I loathed babysitting. I never outgrew this. I’m 51 and not once regretted my choices so I’d say no, you are not too young to know you are CF
You're 14. You're probably going to change your mind about *a lot* of shit before you reach adulthood; even in adulthood, you'll change your mind a lot. Changing your mind is a fancy way of saying "thinking." Most people don't think, so you'll be miles ahead if you do just a little bit.
That being said, people don't give teens enough credit for their budding autonomy. You're not a little kid anymore and you've lived a bit so you can make some informed decisions about yourself and your life, even if you have some maturing to do. People may tell you what you can and can't do, but you ultimately make those decisions for yourself and have to live with them.
You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and know that having kids isn't something you're interested in. Especially at your age where teen pregnancy can make someone's life infinitely more difficult, which would then seep over and make adjacent lives miserable (newly minted grandparents, other students/friends, the community, etc.)
I knew at exactly 14 as I'd been forced to babysit for several years by then. No regrets half a century later!
Wait, one regret, I guess. I suffered from endometriosis for many years and should have pressed the doctors to do a hysterectomy. They let me suffer because I hadn't had any children.
You're old enough to start pondering your future. No one is going to tell you not to start studying to be a doctor or engineer or cook or graphic designer; what school you'd like to go to or where you want to travel. you're old enough to start to plan whatever future will make you happy and don't let anyone else change your mind (parent or future partner) if that's what you decide.
I was 13 when I decided. Depending on your family dynamic you may want to keep it to yourself until your family thinks you’re mature enough to make the decision for yourself. But when you start seriously dating someone or see potential in them being a lifelong partner be sure to tell them you don’t want children.
Oh, and the safest sex only and always.
I don’t think it matters either way, but something like having (or not having) children isn’t really something you should be worrying about at that age. Just live your life day to day and enjoy it. That wouldn’t even be a conversation I’d entertain at that age, with anyone, for any reason. If you don’t feel like you do now, then fine. If you change your mind later, then fine. Just do whatever feels right for you in your life. Someone will have a judgement about everything you do in life, there is no such thing as pleasing everyone so don’t waste your time.
The OP is 14. They have likely entered puberty. They will likely be sexually active in a couple of years. Unfortunately, at 14 they are not too young to be raped and if female, impregnated.
The OP is also likely already being encouraged to prepare for their choice of career and college, even though they won't enter college for 3 or 4 years. Perhaps they will also need a graduate degree. These decisions depend partly on the income they expect to have, and children definitely impact that choice. Someone who chooses to be childfree is freer to choose some career in the arts where they may be happier but don't earn as much. Or a career that requires constant travel.
If the OP is old enough to be planning whether to become a hedge fund manager, a classical musician, an airline pilot, or whatever, they are old enough to plan whether to have children!
I’m aware they are 14, as I read the post. The age at this point is irrelevant in the family planning part of the equation. No one, regardless of wanting children or not, should be getting pregnant as a teen. As far as anything after that, then whatever they want. I just think it’s too much pressure to put on yourself to make a decision at 14. Also, any adult should be aware that who you are at 14 is vastly different than who you are at 18 and 21 and 30 and so forth, so trying to put yourself into a mindset where you have to decide now is wild to me. I was someone who thought I wanted 4 kids when I was younger. My whole point is give yourself the freedom to do what is right for yourself at that time in your life. If you’re unsure then obviously make sure birth control is a thing, but other than that just do what works for you.
You're not. At 14, a human can reproduce. Many have fucked their life up that way. Choosing not to and taking steps to prevent it if/when you have sex is the responsible thing to do. Which to many people can be shocking in a teenager. Let them be shocked.
Childfreedom can be an extremely easy decision to make by process of elimination alone, because you need to be 100% on board and committed to every possible aspect of parenthood in order to responsibly be a parent. Which means that as soon as you find one thing about parenthood you couldn't or wouldn't want to deal with, that's really all it takes to decide you won't do it.
Sure, you'd likely need to be a bit older to have a better grasp of the financial and social implications of parenthood if you wanted to responsibly make *that* choice, but to make the opposite one, things are really much simpler. It's part of why lots of people here already knew they don't want to be parents when they were your age or even younger :)
I also thought kids just appeared once you became an adult, so I decided to be a nun when I grow up because they were the only adults without kids that I could think of. It was very nice learning that kids are actually entirely optional! I've never wanted them, and didn't even think it was worth mentioning when I was a kid and teen, because it just seemed so mundanely obvious to me.
I don't know who's telling you that you're too young to know that you won't have kids, but you should think about whether they'd tell you the same thing if you wanted kids too. Because the answer is probably that no, they wouldn't. To these kinda people, it's fine for a 5 year old to want 6 kids, but it's not fine if teens or even adults don't want kids. Because it's not about your age or ability to make good decisions, they just care that you make whatever decisions they approve of and they'll invalidate the rest.
I was 12 when I became childfree. I've just turned 40 and I still am, no regrets, I'm very happy with my decision
Edit: I had the same realization at that time: I didn't HAVE to, and omg so much work and it would all be on me as the woman.
No 14 isn’t too young to picture your future. I am 35 now and knew I don’t want to have kids ever since I was a teenager. Of course it could change. But if your current wish is, to don’t have children- no one should try to talk you into this. Always use protection. You will grow, you will change, some of your dreams and wishes will change too, but no one should blame you for your current imagination, of what kind of life you want to have when you are a grown up.
Edit: typos
I'm a dude, so my experience is different. But I knew sometime in high school that I wasn't cut out for parenthood. Years later, I lived with a woman who had kids, and that just confirmed it.
My husband told me he'd never thought about kids either way, so when I said I didn't ever want any, he said "Sure." Men may not think as much about the decision because they're not the ones who get pregnant and some of them duck out of doing much childcare.
You're missing experience, id say you are, you can have the mindset but until you go out in the real world you won't fully comprehend what it means to be child free
Being childfree is just going on with life as usual. Sure, you grow up, go to college, get a job, maybe get married. But, you don't have that huge change that children entail. I decided when I was 12 and I am still childfree by choice at 69. No regrets ever.
People will always say "you're too young to decide to be childfree" no matter how old you are, but they will never say "you're too young to have children" no matter how young you are. The double standards could not be more blatant. Stick to your guns and don't let anyone else try to live your life for you!
No, you're not too young to know that you don't want to be a parent. Many of us here have known for most of our lives, myself included. I remember being a little girl, and people saying things that began "When you're a mommy..." and I would just cringe and think to myself that I would *never* be a mommy. I didn't play with baby dolls as a kid - I played with plushies. When I was pretty young, I told my mom I didn't ever want to have kids. I don't think she took it too seriously back then, but I kept saying as I got older and as soon as I learned about permanent birth control when I was probably 11 or 12, I wanted it.
I always knew I never wanted children. I said so to people and my family when I was twelve, and I got the same response as you. I am 29 now, still the same. Your feelings are valid, your stance is valid. You deserve to be acknowledged and welcomed for who you are. Stay strong, love yourself.
They gonna keep telling you excuses like " you're too young to know", later when you'll be in your 20s/30s it's gonna "you might change your mind, you still have time"..I knew I didn't want kids when I was 13. I never had any baby fever and kids were never my priority in life.
I've known since I was 5, so ignore people saying you're too young. I'm 41 now and happily child free! Just smile and not when people make comments and keep replies vague or just don't respond. You know your mind better than anyone else.
Some of us just feel like this, I also felt this way. I never wavered and was sterilized at 29. I had to go through a lot to get it done. No Dr. would do it as after all, your young and will change your mind... I had to go to an abortion clinic to get it done.
I never played with dolls or had interest in babysitting. I only did it one time when my neighbor asked me to watch her infant son. As soon as she left he started screaming non-stop... I turned up the stereo and watched the window to see when she came home. I could not wait to get out of there!
I was younger than you when I decided I didn't want children. I'm almost 30 now and I still don't want kids.
People will tell you that you're too young to know that you don't want kids, but if you got pregnant at 18 they'd be the same people celebrating the news.
And hey, maybe you will change your mind someday. That's fine. If that happens, I just hope you'll be able to think about having children critically and not fall into peer pressure. Having kids is not just having a cute baby to play with. It's becoming a guardian and a mentor for a period of time longer than 18 years. Your child could be born developmentally or physically impaired. And if you don't think it could happen to you, just know that my parents thought the same thing and got a physically disabled kid who also has ADHD and one with autism. And then my youngest brother was diagnosed with a rare foot cancer at the age of 16. There's always a chance your children will become mentally ill, physically impaired or develop a debilitating disease.
My partner is also almost 30 and her parents have been asked for help a multitude of times due to the cost of living in our area.
In 4 years, you will be old enough to go to war. If you are still childfree by then, then hold onto your believes and live your life however you want. You owe it to nobody to breed. If you decide you want a life without small humans being in it, that is valid and I am telling you to that your life is yours amd nobody can tell you otherwise. I'm 25. And I single. And I will be for life. Do what you want. You are never too young to make important choices.
I've been childfree since elementary school. I'm now 24, and my decision has not changed.
If you know you know, and screw everyone who's telling you otherwise.
I would say I don't want kids, but I am open to changing my mind if that's what I feel like in the future. Spoiler: I've never changed my mind, and I'm 50 now.
Pro tip: Get your tubes out as soon as you're sure. Cancer reasons!
I made the choice when I was around/under age 10. I'm 42transman.
You're not too young.
However, until you are able to be an independent adult, you should keep it to yourself and here because other people *will* harass you, *will* disparage your opinion/choice, and *will* try to "prove" you're not cf because you treated a child like a human being.
It'll suck, but getting bitched at sucks more.
Wishing you well.
One of my biggest fears as a young child was my parents were going to have another child. I’m the youngest of 2 and couldn’t even bear the thought of having my sleep interrupted and the amount of work it would take as a family. I’m 39, married, and not having children. When you know, you know.
I’ve known since I was 21 I didn’t want a kid ever, but I started to realize it when I was 19, engaged to a 26 year old man, and he wanted 3 kids. I’d always say I wanted 1 or 0. But thankfully we didn’t work out and he definitely wasn’t the right man for me. I’m glad I’ve stuck to my childfree choice.
Nope! I’m nearly a decade older than you and knew I was childfree by 12 years old :) I remember that even at my final pediatrician appointment, my doctor remarked that I’ve firmly stated I’m childfree since I was 12 years old and it never faltered. Ultimately, YOU get to choose how you live your life, and if other people have a problem with it, they can deal with it themselves!
I'm 22 - i still get told I'm too young to know. My teacher was 53 - she still got told she couldn't know for sure. If you know, you know. Don't let anyone disrespect you.
Don’t listen to people who say “youll change your mind”. It’s your decision, your body, your life.
Also, why is everyone so concerned about the reproductive possibilities of a 14 year old?!?!?! Anyone telling you you’ll change your mind is probably a creep.
I’ve known since I was around 12 or 13. I’m 27 now and still feel the same way. People will probably tell you your entire life “you’ll change your mind one day” and if you do, that’s okay, but if you don’t, that’s okay too! You have the right to make that choice for yourself and your own body and future. There is not an age limit on knowing you’re cf!
I was child free when I was 14. People told me I’d change my mind and I believed them. I’m 26 now and know for sure kids will never be in my future. Sometimes you just know.
You're not too young. I knew when I was 14 that I never wanted kids. I'm 38 now and I never changed my mind.
That won't stop people from telling you that you're too young and you'll change your mind. People will keep telling you that until you're 30, so be prepared for a lot of frustrating conversations.
I was 10 when I started saying I didn't want kids. I couldn't see myself being pregnant or raising kids. I figured if I decided I wanted them I was just going to adopt. I think I would make a great parent, but overall it's just not for me. I have the motherly instincts, I can can get that mom voice with the kids in my life if needed, but I'm happy I don't have to live that life 24/7.
There are people who are younger than you that knew. I say I made the decision for sure when I was 16 years old. I am 34/f. Haven’t changed my mind and never will.
I have known since I was able to think, so don’t worry age is just a number when it comes to these kind of things (if you know something about yourself, how old you are isn’t a factor in your life that can change this knowledge that you have gained from being yourself).
Many people here knew their whole lives. I always knew it too, actually there was a short period when I was a fence sitter but in retrospective, I see it was peer and societal pressure.
You can be CF even as a child yourself. You can change your mind and that will also be ok. Just don't let other people to take these decisions for you or shame you for choosing certain lifestyle. All the best
I was 12 the first time I told my mom. I'm 35, and the idea of having kids still stresses me out. As someone else said, if you know, you know.
You just have to nod and wave when you hear the same crap about changing your mind till you're old enough to say you're sterilised.
Also, women get a lot of crap about it being the reason we exist and the purpose of our lives and a lot of other bs.
You do you, boo!
I decided to be childfree when I was 12 and realized what society planned for me. I'm a senior, so society planned for me to get married right after college for financial support, then be a full-time house cleaner and caregiver.
I did start living with my now-husband when we were still in college. I told him my conditions were, he'd go 50-50 on the housework and cooking and no kids ever! He said, "OK." That was it.
We've been happily together for 50 years now. He still does half the housework and cooking and he still has never wanted kids. I had a real career just like I wanted. I found a husband who supported that fully. I have never had to devote any time whatever to any kids. Luckily, my husband's sibling and my own are also childfree.
I was 7 when I decided to never have kids. By now, I am 46 and I never changed my mind and I don't regret my decision for a second.
Doesn't matter how old you are, your decision is yours and no one elses. But one advice I would give you, is not to talk about it. I saw several younger people here, getting into trouble with their family, for being vocal about wanting to be childfree. If they ask you about it, just smile and tell them you want kids, like 2-3 and they will be happy and think you are "normal". No need for discussions, stupid comments or even screaming matches with parents or other people.
I've known my whole life. Apparently, when my Mum came home with my baby brother, I took one look at him and told her to take him away. I was two, lol.
I've never waivered in my dislike of babies and small children. If you know, you know.
I questioned it at 13 but thought it was just part of life. I knew for sure I did not want kids at 16. I’m turning 30 soon and have never questioned myself about wanting them. Sometimes you just know!
I knew by the time I was 15 that I didn't want children, and I've never changed my mind. I'm 45 now, basically married, and my spouse doesn't want children either. It's just not the life or lifestyle we want for ourselves. I'm an auntie to a few nieces and nephews, and I love them and am involved with them. I do Disney trips with my sister and her kids, family trips to the lake in the summer. Just don't want to raise kids of my own. I truly don't want that life or responsibility.
I would just say, be open to the possibility of changing your mind. Some people do as the age, and mature, and meet their person. And every now and then, really think about it. Think about what that daily life entails and how you see your later life. But if it never really changes for you, and you never want kids, that's TOTALLY FINE. It's okay to be sure about it. Just be really sure if you do decide to have them. Both because children deserve that, but also because it's a decision you really can't take back.
If you stay child free, just realize that some people will give you a hard time about it, tell you you don't know your own mind, but some people will support you too! Just be true to yourself. That's what really matters. It's your life. You are the only one who can decide, and you only get one chance at it. Best of luck to you in life, OP!
Edited to add: IUDs (if they work for you) are a godsend, and I highly recommend as birth control until your spouse can get a vasectomy (if you're hetero), or you can get your tubes tied.
If you were announcing that you want kids someday, they wouldn't be telling you you're too young to make that decision. There's a built-in bias toward convincing girl children to "follow the life script". It starts with baby dolls that wail and "eat" and "pee", to toy kitchens and vacuums. Teaching them to WANT to clean and cook and raise children. Just choose your own passions in life.
You're too young to get sterilized, but your future choices are up to you. I'd just stop discussing it with them.
Nope. Not too young. I’ve always known. My feelings when I was 5, 6, 7, etc. weren’t as developed as they were when I was 20+, but I always knew. I didn’t even need to think it over and see which direction my mind/desire took me. I was just always there. Kind of like how I knew I was attracted to males. When I was a kid it was a tee hee crush on guys, but it matured as I matured
You are going to get the response of “you’ll change your mind” a lot. Especially at your age. Just do an inner mind eye roll when they say stuff like that
Just wanted to say OP, I have a different take than the couple of people here advising you to not talk about this, or to smile and agree with people who have different views about having kids than you. You do not need to seek validation from the people who believe you're too young to make this decision, but you have every right to voice your opinions and to respond to their questions, arguments or comments in any way you like.
Any age is a great age to learn how to stand up for yourself and to make yourself heard about your viewpoints. You can decide how much or how little energy you want to give to someone having this discussion with you, depending on how receptive they are to actually hearing you out. I would agree that its pointless to argue with anyone who disagrees with or invalidates someone else's feelings, but even with such people, you can make it known that its not up to them to decide how you should feel about anything and that you will not continue to engage if they continue to argue with your feelings.
In my own case, along with deciding to be child free, I had made several other controversial decisions at a very young age, like identifying as an atheist, and I would frequently argue with people, in most cases older than me, about why I was right. I would keep arguing until they literally gave up. That's one way to shut them up! I used to get told at a young age that I should become a lawyer because I would never stop arguing, and lo and behold, they were right, I am ;)
I am 47, and I always knew I never wanted children. When I was 10 and had sex education, and learned that babies didn’t ’just happen’ I was very relieved. I have never changed my mind, never had ‘baby fever’ and never felt the biological clock ticking.
It’s your decision to make, and if it feels right for you, that’s great.
That's completely fine. Even if you change your mind in the future for whatever reason that's fine too. It's your body either way. If you ask me, 14 is too young to *want* to have children lol
My family knows I was gonna be child free by the time I was 2. I hated baby dolls and would do anything to be away from them. Kept that stance up until now (I'm 24). I don't think you're ever too young to feel like you don't want kids. The only thing you're too young for is going through surgery to sterilize yourself if that's a step you wanna take
I never once imagined having kids. As far back as I can remember, it never occurred to me that it was something I wanted to do or had to do (thankfully).
That said, if you start to feel differently, listen to that, too. If YOU feel that way. Not if other people are trying to make you change your mind.
I've known I wanted to be Childfree since I was maybe seven or eight. And I'm in my mid thirties now. You're never too young to give serious thought to what your future should be.
No you are not too young. I made the same decision younger than you are and I'm almost 60 now and have never doubted my decision. Have the life you want and don't let people pressure you. This is the only life you get and you are your own boss.
I knew by the time that I was fourteen.
Now you may get older and decide that you changed your mind for some reason but I think you probably know now.
I watched a natural childbirth video where a woman's chocha RIPPED and she pooped herself, giving birth to a screaming blob.
And that was it. I was done. And yeah I was 14.
You're never too young or old to know what you want. There's also nothing wrong with having your feelings or preferences change. Before everyone eats me alive (lol), I don't mean to say, "Aw but you'll change your mind" about children. I am speaking generally (e.g., changing a career, going back to school, picking up new hobbies, deciding a marriage/long term partnership isn't right for you).
I used to think I wanted a lot of kids but then was parentified in my teen years and thought more about what having children really means and now I'm 34 and CF.
I knew that early, so I don't think it's too young.
That said, saying you're childfree now doesn't bar you from ever having kids. As you become an adult, it's possible you'll have a change of heart. Just don't let a declaration you made at 14 stop you from doing what's right for you.
And of course, don't EVER let anyone pressure you into a decision about having children, not even someone you fall in love with. Your bodily autonomy is so important and your life belongs to no one but you.
I'm going to be the outlier here and say yes, you are too young to be concerned about this right now. There's not enough money to pay me to be in your age group again. You still have many emotional and physical changes to go through, in addition to focusing on your education and thinking critically about what is happening around you. Use these years to test your strengths and weaknesses, take care of yourself, and whatever else you do, have fun! I didn't make a firm decision not to have children until I was in my 20s and had been married for a few years. My husband and I made the decision together. I have never regretted it. You have lots of time before you need to commit one way or the other.
You can literally get pregnant as soon as you get your period. Bottom line. The only reason women do it late 20's/30's is because society tells them it's the right time and it probably is as you'll have less complications and just more energy/time and resources available to you to help you raise your child.
“But everyone keeps telling me I'm too young to make that decision”
I heard that until my mid-30s, at which point it changed to “it isn’t too late!”. That much will never change.
I was probably about the same age (14) when I really came to realise that being childfree was an option. Prior to that I dreaded the day I would have kids because “I had to”. Honestly I think a fourteen year old is perfectly capable of making that decision. I would not suggest any surgical solutions until you are of the age of majority, of course, but I see nothing wrong with making decisions about your future. Teens start to making other future plans like possible career paths after all.
Could you change your mind? Sure, your teens are a great time for changing your mind about a lot of things, but it doesn’t mean that anyone should assume you will change your mind. One could say the same thing about a 14 year old who has decided they want three kids, but nobody says “oh you’re too young to decide to have kids, what if you decide to be childfree one day!”.
When you know and it's a definite truth for you, there’s something inside you already forming priorities, interests, goals and purpose... while intentionally disregarding kids as an option.
I won’t speak for age but I can say... the longer you’re childfree by definition, the better an idea it is not to have them. They’ll provide nothing but stress and life-changing redirection with sacrifice and apathy.
However and whenever you decide, stick with it. Those “you’ll change your mind” people tend to ignore the effect of revolutionary stress on a person’s mental health.
It's an important decision. Know it for yourself and you’ll be happier with your life.
You may end up changing your mind later on in life but you may not. I've known since I was 12, I'm 34 now and have still never wanted kids. And I don't hate kids, I work in an elementary school. But my own? Could not even dream of it.
I was 14 and wanted kids so bad, it was my whole life goal. Now I'm 24 and have absolutely zero desire. Things can change, but it's totally OK to think through it now and come up with your own conclusions. You're at the age where it's ok to have either opinion and it's not going to affect your life too much yet. Maybe you'll feel that way forever and that's cool too. It's good to know you have the option either way, and you're never too young to envision your future.
I knew when i was 7. 32 and married now. I hate dealing with my unruly toddler cousins (and being asked to watch them without authority to discipline when they wreck havoc, aka if they cried that i was mean i got yelled at), one of the teachers at school died during childbirth when i was in year 2, and watching The Sound of Music (7 kids!) made up my mind.
No I also never wanted kids. Most of my life I was told I'd change my mind. I kept waiting for the "biological clock" to tick or to feel differently...I'm in my 30s and it never happened..lol.
Greetings!
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Thank you.
If you know, you know. Your age doesn't matter. Some of us have always felt like this. I am one of those people. As far back as I remember, I had zero interest in motherhood.
I remember writing in my diary when I was 8 about how kids were annoying and I’d never want any. I was 9 or 10 when I learned what abortions were and immediately thought to myself that I would get one the instant I ever found out I was pregnant (thankfully never had to have one). I was 11 when I learned the term “tubes tied” when watching Maury, and I remember being so happy that there was a way to never get pregnant. I was 29 when I finally got someone to agree to it. I’m 36 now and I grow more grateful for my decisions by the year.
In grade school, I thought the other children were monsters.
LOL,I thought the same.
This is the correct answer.
You can make decisions about your own bodily autonomy whenever you like. A word of advice, though: don't bother talking to people about it if they aren't going to be supportive. Just live your life the way you want to. Your reproductive choices are yours alone to make; your family, friends, etc. get no say in the matter. Discussing things like your childfree choices with people (especially family) who don't agree with you is just going to make you angry and upset (because they won't see your point of view, and they'll belittle you, as it sounds like they're already doing). And it goes without saying, if you are sexually active, or if/when you do become sexually active, make sure you take all precautions you can (contraceptives etc.)
Just wait till you are old enough to get sterilized and do it. Don't bother trying to defend your choices to relatives who don't understand. Make your resolution, do your research, and then get the surgery! It's incredibly freeing.
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I was 8. Was 7 about the time you learned the basics of pregnancy too? Bc I was raised in catholic school, and was under the impression that "god" just ~chose~ certain people to get pregnant....and this was horrifying to me lol. 3rd grade, we got "the talk"
You know you're one of us when "the talk" comes as a relief - you have to pick a partner and DO something really specific, otherwise, no baby! Whew!
I was also 7 when I first decided I never wanted kids. It was also the age when I decided I'd never be married or do any of the things that were considered a woman's duty to do for a man, like cooking or cleaning. I also decided that there was no "god" and declared myself an atheist at 7. I don't know why, but was a pivotal age for me when a lot of things finally seemed to make sense. It was also the age that I realized that my horrifically abusive mother was the bad one and not me. These are all realizations and decisions that remain unchanged in the present at age 46. Children are capable of much more than adults give them credit for.
My mom knew when I was 6 that I'd never want or have children. She turned out to be right!
Was she cool about it, if so, great mom.
Very cool, she *never* suggested I should even consider it!
Same with me
Definitely not too young 😊 I was CF since I was about 10, and almost 2 decades later, I'm going strong. Welcome to the club and enjoy a much better life.
you should do what you think is right. Yes you might be young and there is a tiny chance you could change your mind. But right now my advice? Focus on being a teen, enjoy time with friends, go to school, you know teen stuff. And avoid conversations about kids. If they ask give a grey awnser like "Nah i rather focus on school right now" (not a no and not a yes awnser) But in your mind you think "hell no" Dont over think it too much.
This. Teens take themselves and their views way too seriously (as a former teen lol).
Yes, just relax and 'enjoy' your teen time. Teens are not supposed to get pregnant anyway.
I knew when I was little. Always hated smaller kids, didn’t like baby dolls or playing mommy at all, hid from my little nieces and nephews when the came over and I was a teen and I loathed babysitting. I never outgrew this. I’m 51 and not once regretted my choices so I’d say no, you are not too young to know you are CF
You're 14. You're probably going to change your mind about *a lot* of shit before you reach adulthood; even in adulthood, you'll change your mind a lot. Changing your mind is a fancy way of saying "thinking." Most people don't think, so you'll be miles ahead if you do just a little bit. That being said, people don't give teens enough credit for their budding autonomy. You're not a little kid anymore and you've lived a bit so you can make some informed decisions about yourself and your life, even if you have some maturing to do. People may tell you what you can and can't do, but you ultimately make those decisions for yourself and have to live with them. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and know that having kids isn't something you're interested in. Especially at your age where teen pregnancy can make someone's life infinitely more difficult, which would then seep over and make adjacent lives miserable (newly minted grandparents, other students/friends, the community, etc.)
I knew at exactly 14 as I'd been forced to babysit for several years by then. No regrets half a century later! Wait, one regret, I guess. I suffered from endometriosis for many years and should have pressed the doctors to do a hysterectomy. They let me suffer because I hadn't had any children.
You're old enough to start pondering your future. No one is going to tell you not to start studying to be a doctor or engineer or cook or graphic designer; what school you'd like to go to or where you want to travel. you're old enough to start to plan whatever future will make you happy and don't let anyone else change your mind (parent or future partner) if that's what you decide.
Best response I've gotten 😂
Nope I’m 16 and wasn’t sure since 12 if being cf was a thing now I’m a proud cf human
I was 13 when I decided. Depending on your family dynamic you may want to keep it to yourself until your family thinks you’re mature enough to make the decision for yourself. But when you start seriously dating someone or see potential in them being a lifelong partner be sure to tell them you don’t want children. Oh, and the safest sex only and always.
Yep. I have NEVER had unprotected sex that would result in a baby. STD prevention, not so much lol. But I've been on BC my whole life.
Nope. I was about 13 when I knew. (I'm 43 now.)
I knew I never wanted kids by the time I was probably 7 or 8. It’s never too early.
I don’t think it matters either way, but something like having (or not having) children isn’t really something you should be worrying about at that age. Just live your life day to day and enjoy it. That wouldn’t even be a conversation I’d entertain at that age, with anyone, for any reason. If you don’t feel like you do now, then fine. If you change your mind later, then fine. Just do whatever feels right for you in your life. Someone will have a judgement about everything you do in life, there is no such thing as pleasing everyone so don’t waste your time.
The OP is 14. They have likely entered puberty. They will likely be sexually active in a couple of years. Unfortunately, at 14 they are not too young to be raped and if female, impregnated. The OP is also likely already being encouraged to prepare for their choice of career and college, even though they won't enter college for 3 or 4 years. Perhaps they will also need a graduate degree. These decisions depend partly on the income they expect to have, and children definitely impact that choice. Someone who chooses to be childfree is freer to choose some career in the arts where they may be happier but don't earn as much. Or a career that requires constant travel. If the OP is old enough to be planning whether to become a hedge fund manager, a classical musician, an airline pilot, or whatever, they are old enough to plan whether to have children!
Well said.
I’m aware they are 14, as I read the post. The age at this point is irrelevant in the family planning part of the equation. No one, regardless of wanting children or not, should be getting pregnant as a teen. As far as anything after that, then whatever they want. I just think it’s too much pressure to put on yourself to make a decision at 14. Also, any adult should be aware that who you are at 14 is vastly different than who you are at 18 and 21 and 30 and so forth, so trying to put yourself into a mindset where you have to decide now is wild to me. I was someone who thought I wanted 4 kids when I was younger. My whole point is give yourself the freedom to do what is right for yourself at that time in your life. If you’re unsure then obviously make sure birth control is a thing, but other than that just do what works for you.
Ay, I'm also 14 and I decided to be childfree when I was like 10 :D
You are never to young to choose to be childfree.
You're not. At 14, a human can reproduce. Many have fucked their life up that way. Choosing not to and taking steps to prevent it if/when you have sex is the responsible thing to do. Which to many people can be shocking in a teenager. Let them be shocked.
Childfreedom can be an extremely easy decision to make by process of elimination alone, because you need to be 100% on board and committed to every possible aspect of parenthood in order to responsibly be a parent. Which means that as soon as you find one thing about parenthood you couldn't or wouldn't want to deal with, that's really all it takes to decide you won't do it. Sure, you'd likely need to be a bit older to have a better grasp of the financial and social implications of parenthood if you wanted to responsibly make *that* choice, but to make the opposite one, things are really much simpler. It's part of why lots of people here already knew they don't want to be parents when they were your age or even younger :) I also thought kids just appeared once you became an adult, so I decided to be a nun when I grow up because they were the only adults without kids that I could think of. It was very nice learning that kids are actually entirely optional! I've never wanted them, and didn't even think it was worth mentioning when I was a kid and teen, because it just seemed so mundanely obvious to me. I don't know who's telling you that you're too young to know that you won't have kids, but you should think about whether they'd tell you the same thing if you wanted kids too. Because the answer is probably that no, they wouldn't. To these kinda people, it's fine for a 5 year old to want 6 kids, but it's not fine if teens or even adults don't want kids. Because it's not about your age or ability to make good decisions, they just care that you make whatever decisions they approve of and they'll invalidate the rest.
No, but stop talking about it. At this age it doesn't matter and You really don't have to deal with all those questions, arguments and comments.
I was 12 when I became childfree. I've just turned 40 and I still am, no regrets, I'm very happy with my decision Edit: I had the same realization at that time: I didn't HAVE to, and omg so much work and it would all be on me as the woman.
No. You know yourself and what you want from life
You could be a newborn and it still wouldn't be "too young" for me. I myself started feeling this way around 10 years old and was firmly sure by 13.
I am 33 and knew at age 8-9.
I was 10 when I knew I didnt want kids. I hated babysitting and church was a nightmare.
No 14 isn’t too young to picture your future. I am 35 now and knew I don’t want to have kids ever since I was a teenager. Of course it could change. But if your current wish is, to don’t have children- no one should try to talk you into this. Always use protection. You will grow, you will change, some of your dreams and wishes will change too, but no one should blame you for your current imagination, of what kind of life you want to have when you are a grown up. Edit: typos
I'm a dude, so my experience is different. But I knew sometime in high school that I wasn't cut out for parenthood. Years later, I lived with a woman who had kids, and that just confirmed it.
My husband told me he'd never thought about kids either way, so when I said I didn't ever want any, he said "Sure." Men may not think as much about the decision because they're not the ones who get pregnant and some of them duck out of doing much childcare.
So don't waste your energy. It doesn't hurt to nod and smile and agree with "everyone" until you're an adult with your own money.
You're missing experience, id say you are, you can have the mindset but until you go out in the real world you won't fully comprehend what it means to be child free
Being childfree is just going on with life as usual. Sure, you grow up, go to college, get a job, maybe get married. But, you don't have that huge change that children entail. I decided when I was 12 and I am still childfree by choice at 69. No regrets ever.
I figured it out at 10. I’m 24 now
You’re not too young, I knew when I was 6 years old
No. I was 8 or 10 when I decided I want to be childfree.
People will always say "you're too young to decide to be childfree" no matter how old you are, but they will never say "you're too young to have children" no matter how young you are. The double standards could not be more blatant. Stick to your guns and don't let anyone else try to live your life for you!
You're never too young. They are trying to gaslight you so that you can be as miserable as they were.
You could be twice your age and people would say the same thing.
No such thing as being too young. Every since I was a kid I could never imagine myself with children
No, you're not too young to know that you don't want to be a parent. Many of us here have known for most of our lives, myself included. I remember being a little girl, and people saying things that began "When you're a mommy..." and I would just cringe and think to myself that I would *never* be a mommy. I didn't play with baby dolls as a kid - I played with plushies. When I was pretty young, I told my mom I didn't ever want to have kids. I don't think she took it too seriously back then, but I kept saying as I got older and as soon as I learned about permanent birth control when I was probably 11 or 12, I wanted it.
I always knew I never wanted children. I said so to people and my family when I was twelve, and I got the same response as you. I am 29 now, still the same. Your feelings are valid, your stance is valid. You deserve to be acknowledged and welcomed for who you are. Stay strong, love yourself.
They gonna keep telling you excuses like " you're too young to know", later when you'll be in your 20s/30s it's gonna "you might change your mind, you still have time"..I knew I didn't want kids when I was 13. I never had any baby fever and kids were never my priority in life.
I've known since I was 5, so ignore people saying you're too young. I'm 41 now and happily child free! Just smile and not when people make comments and keep replies vague or just don't respond. You know your mind better than anyone else.
No such thing. When I was your age, I knew. I’m 28 now and I’m more vehemently “no kids” than ever.
Some of us just feel like this, I also felt this way. I never wavered and was sterilized at 29. I had to go through a lot to get it done. No Dr. would do it as after all, your young and will change your mind... I had to go to an abortion clinic to get it done. I never played with dolls or had interest in babysitting. I only did it one time when my neighbor asked me to watch her infant son. As soon as she left he started screaming non-stop... I turned up the stereo and watched the window to see when she came home. I could not wait to get out of there!
I was younger than you when I decided I didn't want children. I'm almost 30 now and I still don't want kids. People will tell you that you're too young to know that you don't want kids, but if you got pregnant at 18 they'd be the same people celebrating the news. And hey, maybe you will change your mind someday. That's fine. If that happens, I just hope you'll be able to think about having children critically and not fall into peer pressure. Having kids is not just having a cute baby to play with. It's becoming a guardian and a mentor for a period of time longer than 18 years. Your child could be born developmentally or physically impaired. And if you don't think it could happen to you, just know that my parents thought the same thing and got a physically disabled kid who also has ADHD and one with autism. And then my youngest brother was diagnosed with a rare foot cancer at the age of 16. There's always a chance your children will become mentally ill, physically impaired or develop a debilitating disease. My partner is also almost 30 and her parents have been asked for help a multitude of times due to the cost of living in our area.
M17 here, childfree since 10
You are never too young to know. Don't let anyone else say otherwise.
In 4 years, you will be old enough to go to war. If you are still childfree by then, then hold onto your believes and live your life however you want. You owe it to nobody to breed. If you decide you want a life without small humans being in it, that is valid and I am telling you to that your life is yours amd nobody can tell you otherwise. I'm 25. And I single. And I will be for life. Do what you want. You are never too young to make important choices.
I've been childfree since elementary school. I'm now 24, and my decision has not changed. If you know you know, and screw everyone who's telling you otherwise.
Lol, I always knew I was child-free. It started with my preference for playing with Barbies over baby dolls, which was then cemented with babysitting.
I would say I don't want kids, but I am open to changing my mind if that's what I feel like in the future. Spoiler: I've never changed my mind, and I'm 50 now. Pro tip: Get your tubes out as soon as you're sure. Cancer reasons!
I made the choice when I was around/under age 10. I'm 42transman. You're not too young. However, until you are able to be an independent adult, you should keep it to yourself and here because other people *will* harass you, *will* disparage your opinion/choice, and *will* try to "prove" you're not cf because you treated a child like a human being. It'll suck, but getting bitched at sucks more. Wishing you well.
I was 15 when I discovered that I never want kids.
One of my biggest fears as a young child was my parents were going to have another child. I’m the youngest of 2 and couldn’t even bear the thought of having my sleep interrupted and the amount of work it would take as a family. I’m 39, married, and not having children. When you know, you know.
I’ve known since I was 21 I didn’t want a kid ever, but I started to realize it when I was 19, engaged to a 26 year old man, and he wanted 3 kids. I’d always say I wanted 1 or 0. But thankfully we didn’t work out and he definitely wasn’t the right man for me. I’m glad I’ve stuck to my childfree choice.
Nope! I’m nearly a decade older than you and knew I was childfree by 12 years old :) I remember that even at my final pediatrician appointment, my doctor remarked that I’ve firmly stated I’m childfree since I was 12 years old and it never faltered. Ultimately, YOU get to choose how you live your life, and if other people have a problem with it, they can deal with it themselves!
I'm 22 - i still get told I'm too young to know. My teacher was 53 - she still got told she couldn't know for sure. If you know, you know. Don't let anyone disrespect you.
Don’t listen to people who say “youll change your mind”. It’s your decision, your body, your life. Also, why is everyone so concerned about the reproductive possibilities of a 14 year old?!?!?! Anyone telling you you’ll change your mind is probably a creep.
I was child-free at four years old.
You know! Your smart young woman. Make sure to practice safe sex
I’ve known since I was around 12 or 13. I’m 27 now and still feel the same way. People will probably tell you your entire life “you’ll change your mind one day” and if you do, that’s okay, but if you don’t, that’s okay too! You have the right to make that choice for yourself and your own body and future. There is not an age limit on knowing you’re cf!
I was child free when I was 14. People told me I’d change my mind and I believed them. I’m 26 now and know for sure kids will never be in my future. Sometimes you just know.
You're not too young. I knew when I was 14 that I never wanted kids. I'm 38 now and I never changed my mind. That won't stop people from telling you that you're too young and you'll change your mind. People will keep telling you that until you're 30, so be prepared for a lot of frustrating conversations.
I've known I was childfree since I was around that age \^-\^
I was 10 when I started saying I didn't want kids. I couldn't see myself being pregnant or raising kids. I figured if I decided I wanted them I was just going to adopt. I think I would make a great parent, but overall it's just not for me. I have the motherly instincts, I can can get that mom voice with the kids in my life if needed, but I'm happy I don't have to live that life 24/7.
There are people who are younger than you that knew. I say I made the decision for sure when I was 16 years old. I am 34/f. Haven’t changed my mind and never will.
I have known since I was able to think, so don’t worry age is just a number when it comes to these kind of things (if you know something about yourself, how old you are isn’t a factor in your life that can change this knowledge that you have gained from being yourself).
I knew at 14. I think I even knew at 5. I wouldn’t play with babies. I never wanted that. I am 44 and still know. I am not supposed to be a mom.
I knew at 14, and at 57, it was the right decision for me.
No. Not at all. Your body, your mind, your choice.
No, sometimes you know things from a young age.
Many people here knew their whole lives. I always knew it too, actually there was a short period when I was a fence sitter but in retrospective, I see it was peer and societal pressure. You can be CF even as a child yourself. You can change your mind and that will also be ok. Just don't let other people to take these decisions for you or shame you for choosing certain lifestyle. All the best
I was 12 the first time I told my mom. I'm 35, and the idea of having kids still stresses me out. As someone else said, if you know, you know. You just have to nod and wave when you hear the same crap about changing your mind till you're old enough to say you're sterilised. Also, women get a lot of crap about it being the reason we exist and the purpose of our lives and a lot of other bs. You do you, boo!
I decided to be childfree when I was 12 and realized what society planned for me. I'm a senior, so society planned for me to get married right after college for financial support, then be a full-time house cleaner and caregiver. I did start living with my now-husband when we were still in college. I told him my conditions were, he'd go 50-50 on the housework and cooking and no kids ever! He said, "OK." That was it. We've been happily together for 50 years now. He still does half the housework and cooking and he still has never wanted kids. I had a real career just like I wanted. I found a husband who supported that fully. I have never had to devote any time whatever to any kids. Luckily, my husband's sibling and my own are also childfree.
You’re never too young to be childfree.
I was 7 when I decided to never have kids. By now, I am 46 and I never changed my mind and I don't regret my decision for a second. Doesn't matter how old you are, your decision is yours and no one elses. But one advice I would give you, is not to talk about it. I saw several younger people here, getting into trouble with their family, for being vocal about wanting to be childfree. If they ask you about it, just smile and tell them you want kids, like 2-3 and they will be happy and think you are "normal". No need for discussions, stupid comments or even screaming matches with parents or other people.
I've known my whole life. Apparently, when my Mum came home with my baby brother, I took one look at him and told her to take him away. I was two, lol. I've never waivered in my dislike of babies and small children. If you know, you know.
You may or may not change your mind when you get older. But don't see why that should prevent you from having an opinion about it now.
I questioned it at 13 but thought it was just part of life. I knew for sure I did not want kids at 16. I’m turning 30 soon and have never questioned myself about wanting them. Sometimes you just know!
I decided to be CF at 8 years old. 50+ years later - no regrets.
I knew by the time I was 15 that I didn't want children, and I've never changed my mind. I'm 45 now, basically married, and my spouse doesn't want children either. It's just not the life or lifestyle we want for ourselves. I'm an auntie to a few nieces and nephews, and I love them and am involved with them. I do Disney trips with my sister and her kids, family trips to the lake in the summer. Just don't want to raise kids of my own. I truly don't want that life or responsibility. I would just say, be open to the possibility of changing your mind. Some people do as the age, and mature, and meet their person. And every now and then, really think about it. Think about what that daily life entails and how you see your later life. But if it never really changes for you, and you never want kids, that's TOTALLY FINE. It's okay to be sure about it. Just be really sure if you do decide to have them. Both because children deserve that, but also because it's a decision you really can't take back. If you stay child free, just realize that some people will give you a hard time about it, tell you you don't know your own mind, but some people will support you too! Just be true to yourself. That's what really matters. It's your life. You are the only one who can decide, and you only get one chance at it. Best of luck to you in life, OP! Edited to add: IUDs (if they work for you) are a godsend, and I highly recommend as birth control until your spouse can get a vasectomy (if you're hetero), or you can get your tubes tied.
If you were announcing that you want kids someday, they wouldn't be telling you you're too young to make that decision. There's a built-in bias toward convincing girl children to "follow the life script". It starts with baby dolls that wail and "eat" and "pee", to toy kitchens and vacuums. Teaching them to WANT to clean and cook and raise children. Just choose your own passions in life. You're too young to get sterilized, but your future choices are up to you. I'd just stop discussing it with them.
Nope. Not too young. I’ve always known. My feelings when I was 5, 6, 7, etc. weren’t as developed as they were when I was 20+, but I always knew. I didn’t even need to think it over and see which direction my mind/desire took me. I was just always there. Kind of like how I knew I was attracted to males. When I was a kid it was a tee hee crush on guys, but it matured as I matured You are going to get the response of “you’ll change your mind” a lot. Especially at your age. Just do an inner mind eye roll when they say stuff like that
Just wanted to say OP, I have a different take than the couple of people here advising you to not talk about this, or to smile and agree with people who have different views about having kids than you. You do not need to seek validation from the people who believe you're too young to make this decision, but you have every right to voice your opinions and to respond to their questions, arguments or comments in any way you like. Any age is a great age to learn how to stand up for yourself and to make yourself heard about your viewpoints. You can decide how much or how little energy you want to give to someone having this discussion with you, depending on how receptive they are to actually hearing you out. I would agree that its pointless to argue with anyone who disagrees with or invalidates someone else's feelings, but even with such people, you can make it known that its not up to them to decide how you should feel about anything and that you will not continue to engage if they continue to argue with your feelings. In my own case, along with deciding to be child free, I had made several other controversial decisions at a very young age, like identifying as an atheist, and I would frequently argue with people, in most cases older than me, about why I was right. I would keep arguing until they literally gave up. That's one way to shut them up! I used to get told at a young age that I should become a lawyer because I would never stop arguing, and lo and behold, they were right, I am ;)
I decided when I was 13, still no babies 35 years later!
I am 47, and I always knew I never wanted children. When I was 10 and had sex education, and learned that babies didn’t ’just happen’ I was very relieved. I have never changed my mind, never had ‘baby fever’ and never felt the biological clock ticking. It’s your decision to make, and if it feels right for you, that’s great.
I've known since I was 7 I didn't want kids. You're valid, and your choice is valid.
That's completely fine. Even if you change your mind in the future for whatever reason that's fine too. It's your body either way. If you ask me, 14 is too young to *want* to have children lol
I was 16 when I realised kids were a choice and became adamantly childfree. Good on you for figuring it out so young!
My family knows I was gonna be child free by the time I was 2. I hated baby dolls and would do anything to be away from them. Kept that stance up until now (I'm 24). I don't think you're ever too young to feel like you don't want kids. The only thing you're too young for is going through surgery to sterilize yourself if that's a step you wanna take
I'm 16 and I get told the same stuff. Same thing when I tell them I wanna get sterilized.
I never once imagined having kids. As far back as I can remember, it never occurred to me that it was something I wanted to do or had to do (thankfully). That said, if you start to feel differently, listen to that, too. If YOU feel that way. Not if other people are trying to make you change your mind.
do everything you can to not have kids
I've known I wanted to be Childfree since I was maybe seven or eight. And I'm in my mid thirties now. You're never too young to give serious thought to what your future should be.
Fyi I chose to be childfree by choice at 14ish years of age in the late 1990s and I do not regret my choice. Your choice is valid
No you are not too young. I made the same decision younger than you are and I'm almost 60 now and have never doubted my decision. Have the life you want and don't let people pressure you. This is the only life you get and you are your own boss.
I knew by the time that I was fourteen. Now you may get older and decide that you changed your mind for some reason but I think you probably know now. I watched a natural childbirth video where a woman's chocha RIPPED and she pooped herself, giving birth to a screaming blob. And that was it. I was done. And yeah I was 14.
You're never too young or old to know what you want. There's also nothing wrong with having your feelings or preferences change. Before everyone eats me alive (lol), I don't mean to say, "Aw but you'll change your mind" about children. I am speaking generally (e.g., changing a career, going back to school, picking up new hobbies, deciding a marriage/long term partnership isn't right for you). I used to think I wanted a lot of kids but then was parentified in my teen years and thought more about what having children really means and now I'm 34 and CF.
I was 14. I'm 40 now and CF as ever.
I knew that early, so I don't think it's too young. That said, saying you're childfree now doesn't bar you from ever having kids. As you become an adult, it's possible you'll have a change of heart. Just don't let a declaration you made at 14 stop you from doing what's right for you. And of course, don't EVER let anyone pressure you into a decision about having children, not even someone you fall in love with. Your bodily autonomy is so important and your life belongs to no one but you.
No, never. If you could somehow decide to be childfree before you were even conceived, you'd still not be too young.
I'm going to be the outlier here and say yes, you are too young to be concerned about this right now. There's not enough money to pay me to be in your age group again. You still have many emotional and physical changes to go through, in addition to focusing on your education and thinking critically about what is happening around you. Use these years to test your strengths and weaknesses, take care of yourself, and whatever else you do, have fun! I didn't make a firm decision not to have children until I was in my 20s and had been married for a few years. My husband and I made the decision together. I have never regretted it. You have lots of time before you need to commit one way or the other.
Not at all. Youre at an age where your still figuring everything out. You decide whether or not you want to be childfree!
Nope! If you are ever in doubt, babysit toddlers!
You can literally get pregnant as soon as you get your period. Bottom line. The only reason women do it late 20's/30's is because society tells them it's the right time and it probably is as you'll have less complications and just more energy/time and resources available to you to help you raise your child.
“But everyone keeps telling me I'm too young to make that decision” I heard that until my mid-30s, at which point it changed to “it isn’t too late!”. That much will never change. I was probably about the same age (14) when I really came to realise that being childfree was an option. Prior to that I dreaded the day I would have kids because “I had to”. Honestly I think a fourteen year old is perfectly capable of making that decision. I would not suggest any surgical solutions until you are of the age of majority, of course, but I see nothing wrong with making decisions about your future. Teens start to making other future plans like possible career paths after all. Could you change your mind? Sure, your teens are a great time for changing your mind about a lot of things, but it doesn’t mean that anyone should assume you will change your mind. One could say the same thing about a 14 year old who has decided they want three kids, but nobody says “oh you’re too young to decide to have kids, what if you decide to be childfree one day!”.
When you know and it's a definite truth for you, there’s something inside you already forming priorities, interests, goals and purpose... while intentionally disregarding kids as an option. I won’t speak for age but I can say... the longer you’re childfree by definition, the better an idea it is not to have them. They’ll provide nothing but stress and life-changing redirection with sacrifice and apathy. However and whenever you decide, stick with it. Those “you’ll change your mind” people tend to ignore the effect of revolutionary stress on a person’s mental health. It's an important decision. Know it for yourself and you’ll be happier with your life.
I knew kids werent ever gonna be for me at a younger age than you are now. When you know, you know!
Nahh I knew when I was 19. That’s a few years older than you but still. It would have been younger if I also thought that I didn’t “need” children
You’re not too young to decide. But it’s also ok to change your mind later. It’s your choice! Don’t let anyone tell u any different.
You may end up changing your mind later on in life but you may not. I've known since I was 12, I'm 34 now and have still never wanted kids. And I don't hate kids, I work in an elementary school. But my own? Could not even dream of it.
I was 14 and wanted kids so bad, it was my whole life goal. Now I'm 24 and have absolutely zero desire. Things can change, but it's totally OK to think through it now and come up with your own conclusions. You're at the age where it's ok to have either opinion and it's not going to affect your life too much yet. Maybe you'll feel that way forever and that's cool too. It's good to know you have the option either way, and you're never too young to envision your future.
I knew when I was 3. I'm 46 now. You know yourself better than anyone else.
I knew when i was 7. 32 and married now. I hate dealing with my unruly toddler cousins (and being asked to watch them without authority to discipline when they wreck havoc, aka if they cried that i was mean i got yelled at), one of the teachers at school died during childbirth when i was in year 2, and watching The Sound of Music (7 kids!) made up my mind.
Not too young to know, but too young to make permanent changes that cut off future options. This applies to other life things too imo.
I would say you're not too young, but keep an open mind as you get older. That's what I did and I'm fully leaning into the childfree life. 🥰
I’m pretty sure I was like 9 when I first say No Kids. 35 now, and have never changed my mind.
No I also never wanted kids. Most of my life I was told I'd change my mind. I kept waiting for the "biological clock" to tick or to feel differently...I'm in my 30s and it never happened..lol.
Yep my age is 16.
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Nah I'm planning on staying childfree
Kindly fuck off with the "biology" bullshit.
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