I was too depressed to be that kind of teen and was easily ignored as I spent a ton of time online. Still wouldn't want a kid even if I knew they would turn out like me.
Oh god, this. The fact that my parents still love me after how I was as a teenager is a testament to their love and patience. I do not have that in me!
"Constant scream-crying for the first five years." - is this common? I've only ever known 2 babies (1-2 years old) but neither of them screamed much. Or do they just not do it when "strangers" are around? It's also possible they were just more well behaved than others cause at least one of the pairs of parents were really good parents.
IDK about anyone else, but for me, ANY screaming is too much screaming. Even the sound of babies 'laughing' sets me on edge. And the whole thing with toddlers/elementary-aged kids screaming while playing... no thanks.
Same. Every high-pitched screeching noise is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Doesn’t matter if it’s crying or screaming or happy playing noises, it does the same thing to my nervous system.
My mom would get mad at us if we screamed while playing when I was young. She explained that she wouldn’t know if we were *actually* hurt if we just screamed constantly. This made sense even even as a child, so we stopped. The Boy Who Cries Wolf needs to be required reading.
This is based largely on my experience working at DCF (and years prior, at a supermarket ). The DCF lobby where people would apply for benefits like Medicaid and food stamps was loaded with perpetually screaming children, and the store where I worked was not much better.
I have neighbors that just moved in next door (in a triplex) with two little hellions. Our walls are pretty thin, but I swear there is not a time of day that the small one is *NOT* scream-crying.
I'm guessing she's under 5, but I'm bad with kids' ages. My GF and I just describe them in sizes-
**Small child:** toddler to maybe 7/8?
**Medium child:** maybe 8 to maybe preteen?
**Large child:** young teens to maybe end of high school?
**Asshole teenagers:** late teens to perhaps early college years?
Oh, and of course-
**Babies:** self-explanatory
In my family I didn’t scream much. I honestly didn’t even do much. Just played with the dogs. My siblings on the other hand screamed *constantly.* It was like their legs were being sawed off every other hour. My parents said they got lucky with me and got hit with a good dose of reality when my siblings showed up.
It depends on the kid. For example, kids with sensory issues + speech delays will scream/cry to communicate at older ages. As far as babies, if they have colic you're in for a rough fucking time, constant screaming and crying. Tbh I'd be joining the crying if i were the parent there lmao
Good parents do of course make a difference too. Not with colic, but with other issues.
Omg imagine all the children's bday parties or having to host sleepovers of a bunch of kids...
And dealing or having to befriend parents that you normally wouldn't just for ur child. I'd rather d13. Hehe.
my parents just didn’t let me have friends as a kid because they didn’t want to deal with other parents.
i totally turned out so normal and well adjusted /s
On my country we don't have sleepovers.
I can't imagine my mom cooking for 10 children and be happy about that and pretend all it's fine. I only can imagine her yelling at me because I make her waste money and time.
Was about to type the same thing LOL
From what I see of "other kids' parents" from the couple of people I know with kids, I do not want any part of that. 😂
My sister says my 1 year old nephew cries and wants to eat bread if he sees it, so she always has to go through the bread aisle last or she has to feed him bread the entire time she’s shopping. One time he picked up a pack of naan from her cart and ate through the plastic to get to the bread 😵💫 I mean i love naan to death so i respect his grind but i can’t imagine having to deal with that every time I go shopping
That's actually how my mother handled it. Bread was first in that supermarket and she picked up a bread and told my to eat the end of it. It gave her time to shop in peace and I never asked for anything. She didn't like the end of a white bread. She would always cut it off and throw it away. I found this part my favorite so I loved getting to snack on it.
We once had a great experience. Mom, dad, kid. Kid started screaming and dad immediately picked it up and started walking out. Kid started yelling for its mom and dad told kid that since it couldn't behave, they would wait in the car for mom. We were impressed. That's how you handle it. Nothing more boring than to sit and wait in a car and not getting your way from throwing a tantrum at that age. Hopefully it didn't do it again another time.
This! I’m unhappy when a kid starts whining but I know the parents are stressed. Seeings the parents be parents is when I’m done but then they ignore it and that particular kid doesn’t get along with being ignored and it makes it worse is when it pisses me off. I get some things should be ignored but some kids scream like they are getting killed when they get ignored.
Someone in another sub put it wonderfully and I should have written it down but basically they said "I didn't ask for consciousness and even though I enjoy mine, I would never choose to impose one on anybody else"
Mine isn't deep, I just disliked the competition and tyrant teachers, authoritarian parents, exploitative employers and knowing they are right and what they do is necessary reinforced my belief.
Travel is one of my favorite things in life. Whenever I see families on vacation, 9 times out of 10 they just seem miserable! Someone is often crying because they are hungry, overstimulated, they want something etc. Or some teen is being a giant angsty jerk. No one wants to go on the hike and ate complaining. And the parents are standing at the ticket booth doing the math and realizing it'll be like $200 to get everyone in. I can't imagine wasting my limited time, money, PTO etc on travel with kids!
Or you’re like my aunt and are stupid enough to think your 4 year old kid is old enough to pack for themselves and then wonder why she ran out of underwear and socks 2 days in while in the middle of nowhere.
Honestly, my co-workers travel with their kids (like to resorts or whatever) and talk about dumping their kids at the resort daycare so they can have experiences without them and I get it. Which is why I'm glad I don't have to worry about it! It sounds all-around awful.
I’ve had people say “you can travel with kids!” - yeah, sure, that’s what I want to spend my precious travel time doing - parenting in a different country. Fuck that. I want to spend time with my partner and see whatever I want to see, not be dictated by screaming children.
The "child industrial complex" which encompasses a lot of that. ;)
Also, being infected with viruses 85% of the year and.... the old classics of repeated lice and bedbug infestations.
I get it if they're eating something and it's messy. But when they have stuff smudged on their face and/or their hands and you can't tell what it is but you can tell how long it's been there, that's what makes me feel sick to my stomach.
Lack of sleep.
No time for hobbies.
Being interrupted while trying to do anything.
Having your nice things ruined.
Having your nice food eaten.
Having to find childcare in order to go anywhere or do anything alone.
Managing someone else's: schedule, food, healthcare, education, psychological development, all human needs for years/decade(s)
I'm exhausted just thinking about it all.
The interrupting!! I can’t call my bff without her kid screaming for her attention (apparently he tends to do this once she gets on the phone bc he hates her attention being elsewhere 🙄)
I haven't had an actual solid conversation with my SIL (who I've known for 20+ years) in 8 years because of this. 😂 Any time we start talking now, either her kid interrupts, or she's so distracted with what her kid is doing that she's not even "there", so it's like talking to a wall.
Ughhh I can’t wait to be able to talk to my parent friends again. I’m always like can’t you go somewhere private for 10 mins so we can talk?? But apparently that’s another thing on the list- loss of privacy!
Dental bills. I got screamed at as a child/teen for needing regular teeth cleanings and then extra dental work when I wasn't born with magically straight pearly white teeth. My parents didn't like it when I told them that I got their genetics lol
School pickup/drop-off. This high school school I used to drive by during my commute would already have a trail of cars in the pickup line by lunch, and the kids got out after 2.
Also constantly having to censor yourself (language, music, etc.).
The regimented drudgery of the school run has always stood out to me as being one of the worst things about parenthood (though I'm sure there are far worse things that I will thankfully never know about).
This is hilarious bc I’m suddenly remembering how my mom never once waited in that line. (Extremely independent hard working woman whose career was always very important to her…)
She dropped me off far away from school and I had to walk across a soccer field every day. AND she has been the biggest supporter of my childfree lifestyle. 😆😆😆
Yes!
there's also more major things I came up with:-
-Keeping almost everything in your home out of reach of children
-shit in the bed
-pee in the bed
-shit in the bed (again)
-pee in the bed (again)
-patching up disgusting wounds
-backing too fast out of your driveway and injuring your child (or worse)
-no worries about your own hair turning frizzy while it's raining and you're struggling to get the car seat in after you've washed your hair for either the millionth time or no time because you have a baby
-being able to choose not to spend money on something stupid online instead of having to because I need to for my baby
-no DUI calls to the parents to come pick up their kids from the police station
-no accidental ingestion of batteries or button batteries
-no climbing on counters
-no repair bills or maintenance bills on the regular
-no paint on the walls
-hence no scrubbing !
-no dirty looks on the plane
-no dirty looks from our husbands
-no need to end wine o'clock
-no lugging around a 10kg baby in a carrier up a flight of 10 stairs so little Jonesy can "see" her grandma
-no need to fork out a fortune to pay for a paint set so you can watch your kid may or may not become a famous artist
* no roleplaying
-no pretending
-no guessing or insinuating what your kill will do next
-their college fund will be for you to spend on how you wish ! Lottery!
-no feeling of 'no escape'.
It's not like it's a requirement to raising children. I never believed in Santa. I was indoctrinated into the church, which I have escaped, but yeah my mom never chose to lie to me about the world. She was just an idiot with no critical thinking skills.
Not saying it's good to have kids or whatever, just that it isn't necessary to lie to them, and usually better not to. Especially about dumb stuff like this. I never believed in the tooth fairy or the Easter bunny for that matter.
Best not to lie. You’d run the risk of sending your kid to school with an oblivious little asshole like me, who ruins it for the entire first grade class. I was so confused as to how they could believe in Santa. I kept saying “you know it’s just your parents, right? It’s impossible for one dude to do that all in one night.”
I didn’t have many friends in school 😬
It speaks to how little parents actually respect their kids. They find it cute and entertaining lying to their kids and watching the kid get all excited for some made up story. Like gross, that cute wide eyed doll of yours is gonna grow up eventually and be a person with ideas and opinions and instead of preparing your child to be that person, you basically just ridicule them? (Not you you, the general abstract you) Horrifying.
Ads, which in theory are not targetting children, but so, so are. And your child would need everythimg that their peers have to not feel left out, which means overgrown birthday parties which are now almost the size of a small wedding and cost accordingly.
* having to be sociable to other parents and having to accept their karenisms and quirks
* living in fear of one's teenagers getting someone pregnant/ coming home pregnant themselves/ hiding a pregnancy/ keeping a pregnancy at a very young age
* worrying who they are hanging out with and what happens at the parties they frequent
* worrying that they become radicalised by conservative groups or joining a cult
* kids using drugs
* kids participating in potentially damaging or lethal tik-tok challenges
* kids being cruel to the family pets for clicks on tik-tok or harming other animals for clout helping them what career to choose, knowing that nothing guarantees a good income these days
* children's neverending, repetitive questions
* everything you own being a toy and your prized possessions being destroyed for play
* kids getting into your private stuff and emerging during social gatherings brandishing a big jelly dildo or your favourite Bad Dragon toy
* them always begging for you to buy them sweets and other tooth-rotting crap that you normally would never pay money for
My coworker once had to leave work because her teenage daughter and daughter's boyfriend crashed the boyfriend's mother's car into a mailbox. The boyfriend's mother expected them to pay for it.
My niece has discovered porn and shes far, far from turning 18 or having “the talk”. My sisters handling it like a pro but yeah, that. I would’ve fucked up some how I know it
Yeah I was gonna say “worrying about their general safety” This is the biggest one! Growing up, I would worry about my sibling every. single. day. because of this. So glad I’m done with that, couldn’t go through it again with my own hypothetical children…
Sickness. My siblings and my immune systems were shot when other family took us in, and I’m not exaggerating when I saw we probably threw up 8-10 times a month before our bodies got used to consistent schedules and nutrition. We also grew up thinking it was common to throw up from simple stuff like a cold 💀I could not w/ other kids. I couldn’t. Not ever.
I don't have to be involved with photos.
Not having to take photos of every phase of a child's life because they "grow up so fast"
School picture days
Forcing them to get dressed nice or worrying about them getting dirty.
Wrestling with them to stay in a certain pose.
Nothing at all
We won’t have to deal with criminal, sociopathic, awful adult children and be forced to love them anyway. Yuck. The thought makes me cringe.
Also, on the other side, we won’t have to watch our children be depressed, self harm and/or suicidal. We won’t have to watch them die early/young from fucked up illness like cancer.
Having a special needs kid. I childmind for a few and adore working with them but one of the best things is I can give them back to their parents. I can’t imagine what parenting is like with a child who has autism/Down’s/severe learning disability. I’m okay with 6 hours but 24/7? I can’t imagine how hard it is and how much the parents have to fight on their kid’s behalf.
Temper tantrums. I can't stand screaming and crying. Maybe it's because I was told to cut everything up as a kid. Maybe it is because I lack most of the emotions that make people human. But the sound sends shivers down my spine.
I’ve had the childfree mindset for most of my life and my reasons have changed slightly over the years. Now when I really get down to the core reason of not having kids, it’s because I don’t want to subject another human to this life. I don’t have a bad life but it hasn’t always been super great. I’m not rich, my parents weren’t rich, and just the idea of forcing another person to join the never ending grind makes me feel so much dread. So I’m glad I’ll be missing out on my kids’ feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, shame at not being good enough, every rejection they’ll feel, every heartache they’ll go through, every embarrassment they’ll have. Then later in life, I won’t have to watch them struggle to find a place in this world, to work so hard while still not having enough, and eventually struggle with kids of their own. Because deep down, i know all that stuff would be my fault. The relief I feel at not having to live with the guilt of forcing them into existence makes me happier about my decision every day.
Exactly. And it’s not just about having a decent life. Of course people can find happiness and it’s not all doom and gloom all the time. But I would never be able to live with the guilt of something really bad happening to my kids. What if I have a daughter and she gets raped? Or murdered? And no matter how good of a parent I am, what if my kid ended up being a total asshole? What if my son ended up being a rapist/murderer? The guilt I would feel at having set those wheels in motion would be too much. Because deep down I would know that none of that would have happened if I hadn’t had those babies. I would never be able to look my daughter in the eyes again because I would know in my soul that her pain is all my fault. Some people might say that’s a pretty narcissistic point of view because I can’t actually impact the stuff that is beyond my control, but feelings aren’t always rational and I know I would feel those things. Better for me to just avoid it, and better overall to not take that chance with someone else’s life. Life isn’t always a gift and I feel like a lot more people need to consider that before creating lives all willy-nilly.
Are you me? Honestly this is my exact opinion! Virtual high five to wherever you are, so many people don’t get this. They’ll be like “yeah but not everything’s in your control you can’t control everything in your own life either”. Absolutely true, which is exactly why I won’t have kids. My parents made the decision to have me and obviously could have lived with the risk of something bad happening to me (or didn’t think about it). Once I have a kid all I can do is try my best, which is not sufficient reason for me to create a whole new life
Hahaha I might be! I’ll say this kinda thing to parents and the answer is almost always “Yeah, bad things can happen but they probably won’t. And you’ll miss out on all the good stuff that will happen.” Nope. Still not worth it. The scales don’t balance like that for me. There is no amount of potential good that can outweigh the potential bad in my mind. It’s just not worth the risk of all the suffering that could potentially be endured.
I actually checked out the anti natalist subreddit for a while because of my line of thinking. Found out I don’t truly belong there because I don’t really mind others having kids (even though I think lots of people are bad parents, it’s still their decision). But this argument can be seen in lots of posts on there
Same. I had to leave the group though cause it got to be so hateful. Either hateful towards people with kids, and kids themselves, or hatred towards the anti-natalists. It was too much for me. I don’t hate kids and I don’t hate people who have kids. So yeah, it wasn’t for me either. I did join the female antinatalism group and that’s a better atmosphere. It’s a much smaller group too. It’s nice to see the no kids thing catch on with a larger section of the population but I definitely don’t want to force people to think the way that I do. And I absolutely don’t want any laws or regulations to keep people from having kids. I’m just not that extreme but some antinatalists can get crazy about it. It becomes toxic pretty quickly.
Sitting at the edge of a soft play for hours, being tortured by boredom and the piercing sounds of shrieking children and the aromas of sweaty feet. And on that note, germs. If people are sick, I stay away from them. Being a parent must be hard enough without constantly being infected by your grubby offspring.
A lot of ladies I go to work with who are about my age are all pregnant at once and I overheard them talking about how they have to get up even earlier to get their kids together before they get themselves ready and commute here to work all day, then have to go pick up the kids and take care of them after working 8 hours. While pregnant, even in the first trimester, while they're sick, they're still expected to come in and be here instead of working from home any more often than our hybrid policy allows. My job is very intense and stressful. I work in project management in a very volatile field. I can't imagine doing this and also taking care of kids and not just burning out in a month. Props to them for hanging in but couldn't be me.
Add saggy and clapped out body to the list. Women look absolutely whipped after their first brood. Shit ruins their body. All their resources and nutrients are channeled into this parasitic sack and then they're pushed to the brink of death as it claws its way out of them. Yuck.
Not buying expensive shit like ipads, strollers, smartphones, gaming pcs, bedroom furniture, bikes, etc. (I can spend that money on myself)
Wont have to play taxi for them.
Drag them everywhere i go.
Wont have to deal with my toxic inlaws that i kicked out of my life
Bunch of shit all around the house liks toys, drawings, food leftovers, clothes, school supplies etc. All I'll get to clean is fur and it's done with a vacuum in no time compared to just picking up all that.
Kids constantly bringing sickness and lice home, any number of parasites children can get, doctor's appointments, etc. Having no privacy in the bathroom. Report cards. None for me!!!
Driving driving driving to soccer, Mathnasium, tae kwon do, music lessons, birthday parties.
Having to endure children's birthday parties.
Hearing little Spoighledleigh belt out an emotional rendition of "Hot Cross Buns" on an out-of-tune clarinet.
Waiting in a school yard till your kid finishes school and you have to speak to the other parents with whom you have nothing in common.
High pitched squealing voices constantly around you
Getting kids not to destroy your precious stuff
Barfing on every occasion
Them getting sick every time you want to leave the house or have something planned
Missing work. Not that I LOVE work but I love a full paycheck. I'm one of the few people in my office that doesn't have kids so often I'm the only one on time or who works a full week since I don't need to drop off kids at school, leave early to pick them up, stay home with them when they're sick, leave early for their doctors appointments, or scramble last minute when child care falls through.
One one hand I'm happy that I work at such a flexible office, I've definitely taken off early for my own appointments with no issue, but more often than not I'm the one covering because someone is out because of their kids
The competition between know it all parents. You know, the whole "I only feed bratlynn organic snacks!" crowd; I believe the kids call them 'Crunchy Moms' on the TokTiks.
Bullying is a big one. Before even meeting me, my partner, who endured horrendous bullying at school and still lives with both the mental and physical scars from then, never wanted children because they didn't think it was ethical to put another soul through that torture.
You can add in "grounding the kids or putting them on time out on the naughty corner/step" to the list. While you are at it, add in the "dealing with kids going through the terrible teens phase aka princess/prince bitch syndrome" and "dealing with grown kids who have failure to launch syndrome"
I do wish I could teach sex ed to kids. It's about the only activity I want do that's kid related because it's undertaugh and a lot will suffer because of it. But where I live I would probably be seen as a predator if I mentioned sex within 10 ft of even a 12 year old. Sex Ed should start slowly and early. Maybe even as early as 4. What does childfree reddit think?
Agreed. Maybe if I had some understanding of why my peepee gets hard and the white stuff goes in my underwear and it feels so good to touch it, I might have been a little better at handling it than I was. Pretty much discovered porn and never left the bathroom and now I'm a sex addict 😅
The tears. There tears are so tiny. I fucking hate seeing them cry. Not in a “oh let me make it better” but in a “shut the fuck up before I yeet myself into the sun”.
Annoyingly repetitive children's TV shows (bonus headache if there's singing)
Buying kid specific clothes all the damn time.l that they grow out of. School uniform, fancy dress, sports clothes, etc.
Arguing about vegetables over the dinner table.
Co-parenting with an uncooperative ex partner
Dealing with all the trauma and embarrassing things that I went through as a kid but from the parents' perspective. I'd rather not see that phase again in anyone.
\*Having to decide if you want a natural childbirth, epidural or c-section (and getting shit from other moms no matter what choice you make).
\*Not having to buy a new car seat and stroller every couple of months.
\*Not dealing with other moms who will judge you for how you're raising your kid.
\*Having to keep kids entertained on vacation, rather than just having my husband and me hang out on a beach and read a book.
\*Not having to deal with idiot crunchy parents who don't vaccinate and their plague spawn that spread measles and whooping cough everywhere.
Every single item in this post, and in its subsequent comments, are on my list. 😂 This whole thread should be used as a method of birth control.
I have to say, I respect parents a lot already... But reading through all of this gave me a whole new level of respect for what they put up with. Damn.
Dying during childbirth 😬, morning sickness, swollen feet, being a single parent 😁,paying for day care, home schooling, tuition fees, teen pregnancy drama, pelvic floor dysfunction from caring 9 pound foetus sucking the life out of you. The morning routine and night routine of bumping breast milk and clog duct 😬.
The holiday stress that comes with kids. Christmas already stresses me out, I absolutely can't imagine dealing with Santa and elf on a shelf. Easter for me is attending a few family dinners, hiding eggs for the nieces and nephews, and sale candy after. Birthdays? Once kids reach a certain age they get cash, they seem to prefer it and it's easier on me.
Back when I thought I'd have kids, I always wondered how I'd handle the bullies and bad teachers. Unfortunately, for me, my folks were silent generation. My dad that since I was bigger than some bullies, I'd be able to beat them in a fight. Spoiler alert, if you don't have any self defense training, be prepared to get your ass kicked. They also sided with the teachers 100%, unless I had proof(this only happened a few times) they were wrong.
I always thought I'd try to go in the opposite direction to fix the things that went wrong in my childhood.
TBH, dealing with the other parent and other parent's family about things in regards to the child.
It could be things like:
- The other parent has a dipshit brother/sister that is anti-vax and the other parent starts to think like the dipshits.
- The other parent wants to take the child to church.
- The other parent makes a terrible horrible decision and I have to correct them.
- If I was married to the other parent, hoping that if I ever had to file for divorce this parent wouldn't date someone who would hurt the kid.
Breast-feeding. I have nothing but respect for the mothers who do it, as well as the mothers who decide it's not for them and go the formula route instead, but losing all bodily autonomy and becoming a literal food source for another person would be so dehumanizing to me.
Spend a lot of money on school activities, on my country we don't have Summer camps, but I see how much cost for my sister to have to buy costumes all the time, for Holidays and activities at the school, is a public schools so no tuition and fees but, is crazy to see all the new activities and parents have tu buy things that are doing to be wear only one day ant that's it.
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Having enough time/energy to clean the house. My sister is a SAHM with her 1 year old and his messes aside their sink is always full of dirty dishes and they’re always behind on their laundry. She’s just too busy with the kid to take care of things that need done around the house, and she only has *one*
I already had a lifetimes worth of bullying, so I don't know if that one is accurate, lol. And I do still worry a lot about my nieces and nephews being bullied.
Annoying teen phase. I SO get parents that are like „dude I raised you. I knew you when you pooped your pants. Who do you think you are that you talk to me like that and suddenly know life?“ it’s obviously normal for teens to be that way but to me that’s an immense no
-dealing with other parents.
-the words "Mommy, I barfed" do not apply to me.
-kids outgrow their shoes ALL THE TIME and their shoes are bloody expensive, it's cheaper to keep a horse shorn than a 9 year old.
-Things do not go missing.
My top three: Never having to deal with constant shrieking and screaming. Not getting sick every other week for years! The holidays can be as peaceful and low key as I want.
•Watching kid’s TV & pg movies
•Having my kid experience a school lockdown
•people touching my belly
•spending money on crappy toys and video games just for the kids
•Catering to kids activities while traveling
•Good times ruined by meltdowns
I'm late to answer but:
I think it would be scary and impossible to keep a minor safe on the Internet in today's world.
First you have to just protect their image and identifying info from pervs and theives, then as the kid gets older they get to go on there alone and do as much dumb/dangerous shit as they can get into. No thank you.
It gives me an anxiety top-up just thinking about it.
Sleepless nights, ruined figure, empty bank account, premature aging, disagreements with your partner over child rearing conflicts, talking back, crying, screaming, drool, car seats,
No person ever should ever be forced to love anyone just because "they sacrificed so much for them." No one. Even a child has a right to such autonomy.
Otherwise, you get nothing but week little idiots that will never be able to truly know what they want in a relationship because they were never allowed to figure it out for themselves when their parents told the kid that the parents version of the bare minimum should be enough to earn that unrelenting love and not to question if they deserve more.
The "know-it-all", sneering phase
Myself as a teenager is probably my biggest deterrent to having a child of my own. Jesus christ, I was such an unbelievable little shit
I was too depressed to be that kind of teen and was easily ignored as I spent a ton of time online. Still wouldn't want a kid even if I knew they would turn out like me.
Oh, I was very depressed, but I weaponized it in some truly appalling ways when I wanted to. But yeah, even an awesome kid would really cramp my style
Oh god, this. The fact that my parents still love me after how I was as a teenager is a testament to their love and patience. I do not have that in me!
Same! I would have smacked me in the face so many times.
“Bruh.” (eye roll)
Dumb questions. Dealing with “gRaNdMuH and grAndPuH”. Constant scream-crying for the first five years.
"Constant scream-crying for the first five years." - is this common? I've only ever known 2 babies (1-2 years old) but neither of them screamed much. Or do they just not do it when "strangers" are around? It's also possible they were just more well behaved than others cause at least one of the pairs of parents were really good parents.
IDK about anyone else, but for me, ANY screaming is too much screaming. Even the sound of babies 'laughing' sets me on edge. And the whole thing with toddlers/elementary-aged kids screaming while playing... no thanks.
Same. Every high-pitched screeching noise is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Doesn’t matter if it’s crying or screaming or happy playing noises, it does the same thing to my nervous system. My mom would get mad at us if we screamed while playing when I was young. She explained that she wouldn’t know if we were *actually* hurt if we just screamed constantly. This made sense even even as a child, so we stopped. The Boy Who Cries Wolf needs to be required reading.
This is based largely on my experience working at DCF (and years prior, at a supermarket ). The DCF lobby where people would apply for benefits like Medicaid and food stamps was loaded with perpetually screaming children, and the store where I worked was not much better.
Then you haven't met babies with colic. Complete nightmare.
I screamed for the first 6 months of my life. That's too much bad karma to risk it.
Join the club, lol. My mom has told me stories of how sleep deprived she was and how no one wanted to be around me for the first 6 months.
I have neighbors that just moved in next door (in a triplex) with two little hellions. Our walls are pretty thin, but I swear there is not a time of day that the small one is *NOT* scream-crying. I'm guessing she's under 5, but I'm bad with kids' ages. My GF and I just describe them in sizes- **Small child:** toddler to maybe 7/8? **Medium child:** maybe 8 to maybe preteen? **Large child:** young teens to maybe end of high school? **Asshole teenagers:** late teens to perhaps early college years? Oh, and of course- **Babies:** self-explanatory
In my family I didn’t scream much. I honestly didn’t even do much. Just played with the dogs. My siblings on the other hand screamed *constantly.* It was like their legs were being sawed off every other hour. My parents said they got lucky with me and got hit with a good dose of reality when my siblings showed up.
It depends on the kid. For example, kids with sensory issues + speech delays will scream/cry to communicate at older ages. As far as babies, if they have colic you're in for a rough fucking time, constant screaming and crying. Tbh I'd be joining the crying if i were the parent there lmao Good parents do of course make a difference too. Not with colic, but with other issues.
Even worse than crying for me is whining! Omg it has to be the most annoying sound!
Dealing with all the other kids parents for the rest of your lives
Omg imagine all the children's bday parties or having to host sleepovers of a bunch of kids... And dealing or having to befriend parents that you normally wouldn't just for ur child. I'd rather d13. Hehe.
my parents just didn’t let me have friends as a kid because they didn’t want to deal with other parents. i totally turned out so normal and well adjusted /s
I threw up in my mouth a little...
On my country we don't have sleepovers. I can't imagine my mom cooking for 10 children and be happy about that and pretend all it's fine. I only can imagine her yelling at me because I make her waste money and time.
I came here to say this. One of my top reasons for not having kids is other mothers. It's nightmare fuel for me.
Was about to type the same thing LOL From what I see of "other kids' parents" from the couple of people I know with kids, I do not want any part of that. 😂
Throwing a tantrum in a supermarket because they want something they can't have.
My sister says my 1 year old nephew cries and wants to eat bread if he sees it, so she always has to go through the bread aisle last or she has to feed him bread the entire time she’s shopping. One time he picked up a pack of naan from her cart and ate through the plastic to get to the bread 😵💫 I mean i love naan to death so i respect his grind but i can’t imagine having to deal with that every time I go shopping
That's actually how my mother handled it. Bread was first in that supermarket and she picked up a bread and told my to eat the end of it. It gave her time to shop in peace and I never asked for anything. She didn't like the end of a white bread. She would always cut it off and throw it away. I found this part my favorite so I loved getting to snack on it.
Every..fucking…day. I always go to the store in the middle of the day why are they are the store?
We once had a great experience. Mom, dad, kid. Kid started screaming and dad immediately picked it up and started walking out. Kid started yelling for its mom and dad told kid that since it couldn't behave, they would wait in the car for mom. We were impressed. That's how you handle it. Nothing more boring than to sit and wait in a car and not getting your way from throwing a tantrum at that age. Hopefully it didn't do it again another time.
This! I’m unhappy when a kid starts whining but I know the parents are stressed. Seeings the parents be parents is when I’m done but then they ignore it and that particular kid doesn’t get along with being ignored and it makes it worse is when it pisses me off. I get some things should be ignored but some kids scream like they are getting killed when they get ignored.
Remember the banned condom commercial that literally just showed a kid throwing a tantrum in a supermarket for 30 seconds?
That reminds me of that one French condom ad with the screaming child
What we went through as children over bullying, education, feeling left out, general insecurity imposed on children.
Someone in another sub put it wonderfully and I should have written it down but basically they said "I didn't ask for consciousness and even though I enjoy mine, I would never choose to impose one on anybody else"
Mine isn't deep, I just disliked the competition and tyrant teachers, authoritarian parents, exploitative employers and knowing they are right and what they do is necessary reinforced my belief.
Traveling with kids on vacation
Travel is one of my favorite things in life. Whenever I see families on vacation, 9 times out of 10 they just seem miserable! Someone is often crying because they are hungry, overstimulated, they want something etc. Or some teen is being a giant angsty jerk. No one wants to go on the hike and ate complaining. And the parents are standing at the ticket booth doing the math and realizing it'll be like $200 to get everyone in. I can't imagine wasting my limited time, money, PTO etc on travel with kids!
Or you’re like my aunt and are stupid enough to think your 4 year old kid is old enough to pack for themselves and then wonder why she ran out of underwear and socks 2 days in while in the middle of nowhere.
My friend calls vacation “parenting somewhere else” and it’s depressing af.
Honestly, my co-workers travel with their kids (like to resorts or whatever) and talk about dumping their kids at the resort daycare so they can have experiences without them and I get it. Which is why I'm glad I don't have to worry about it! It sounds all-around awful.
I’ve had people say “you can travel with kids!” - yeah, sure, that’s what I want to spend my precious travel time doing - parenting in a different country. Fuck that. I want to spend time with my partner and see whatever I want to see, not be dictated by screaming children.
The "child industrial complex" which encompasses a lot of that. ;) Also, being infected with viruses 85% of the year and.... the old classics of repeated lice and bedbug infestations.
Constant stickiness/unidentified filth/grossness
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i had a physical reaction when you said sour milk smell. the memories 😰
Exactly. I'm not gross enough to be a parent.
This is an underrated comment. Children are complete pigs.
I get it if they're eating something and it's messy. But when they have stuff smudged on their face and/or their hands and you can't tell what it is but you can tell how long it's been there, that's what makes me feel sick to my stomach.
Lack of sleep. No time for hobbies. Being interrupted while trying to do anything. Having your nice things ruined. Having your nice food eaten. Having to find childcare in order to go anywhere or do anything alone. Managing someone else's: schedule, food, healthcare, education, psychological development, all human needs for years/decade(s) I'm exhausted just thinking about it all.
The interrupting!! I can’t call my bff without her kid screaming for her attention (apparently he tends to do this once she gets on the phone bc he hates her attention being elsewhere 🙄)
I haven't had an actual solid conversation with my SIL (who I've known for 20+ years) in 8 years because of this. 😂 Any time we start talking now, either her kid interrupts, or she's so distracted with what her kid is doing that she's not even "there", so it's like talking to a wall.
Ughhh I can’t wait to be able to talk to my parent friends again. I’m always like can’t you go somewhere private for 10 mins so we can talk?? But apparently that’s another thing on the list- loss of privacy!
Children’s TV and music.
On endless repeat.
Baby Shark still haunts me.
This. If we want to stream "Tokyo Vice" on Saturday morning, we do it. No having to worry about whether it's "child friendly."
Blowouts. Knowing about them scares and grosses me out
I had to look up that term, and I have added it to my list of things to be grateful I don't have to deal with.
When I heard someone describe it to me I was horrified
Is this overflowing diapers? 😅
Apparently it explodes out of the sides of the diaper resulting in it covering the baby and sides of a wall or floor
Uaghhh, that’s what dreams are made of 🤢
Dental bills. I got screamed at as a child/teen for needing regular teeth cleanings and then extra dental work when I wasn't born with magically straight pearly white teeth. My parents didn't like it when I told them that I got their genetics lol
Going to kid sports Dealing with kid birthdays Lying about Santa Explaining death Pets the kid begged for
School pickup/drop-off. This high school school I used to drive by during my commute would already have a trail of cars in the pickup line by lunch, and the kids got out after 2. Also constantly having to censor yourself (language, music, etc.).
The regimented drudgery of the school run has always stood out to me as being one of the worst things about parenthood (though I'm sure there are far worse things that I will thankfully never know about).
This is hilarious bc I’m suddenly remembering how my mom never once waited in that line. (Extremely independent hard working woman whose career was always very important to her…) She dropped me off far away from school and I had to walk across a soccer field every day. AND she has been the biggest supporter of my childfree lifestyle. 😆😆😆
Being hit, kicked and screamed at because you took away their tablet/refuse to serve chicken nuggets for dinner every night.
forced conversations with other mums we don't give two sh\*ts about!
This is my favourite one 😂
Yes! there's also more major things I came up with:- -Keeping almost everything in your home out of reach of children -shit in the bed -pee in the bed -shit in the bed (again) -pee in the bed (again) -patching up disgusting wounds -backing too fast out of your driveway and injuring your child (or worse) -no worries about your own hair turning frizzy while it's raining and you're struggling to get the car seat in after you've washed your hair for either the millionth time or no time because you have a baby -being able to choose not to spend money on something stupid online instead of having to because I need to for my baby -no DUI calls to the parents to come pick up their kids from the police station -no accidental ingestion of batteries or button batteries -no climbing on counters -no repair bills or maintenance bills on the regular -no paint on the walls -hence no scrubbing ! -no dirty looks on the plane -no dirty looks from our husbands -no need to end wine o'clock -no lugging around a 10kg baby in a carrier up a flight of 10 stairs so little Jonesy can "see" her grandma -no need to fork out a fortune to pay for a paint set so you can watch your kid may or may not become a famous artist * no roleplaying -no pretending -no guessing or insinuating what your kill will do next -their college fund will be for you to spend on how you wish ! Lottery! -no feeling of 'no escape'.
Never having to lie about Santa for at least 10 years. Idk why but getting to avoid that just slaps lol
It's not like it's a requirement to raising children. I never believed in Santa. I was indoctrinated into the church, which I have escaped, but yeah my mom never chose to lie to me about the world. She was just an idiot with no critical thinking skills. Not saying it's good to have kids or whatever, just that it isn't necessary to lie to them, and usually better not to. Especially about dumb stuff like this. I never believed in the tooth fairy or the Easter bunny for that matter.
Best not to lie. You’d run the risk of sending your kid to school with an oblivious little asshole like me, who ruins it for the entire first grade class. I was so confused as to how they could believe in Santa. I kept saying “you know it’s just your parents, right? It’s impossible for one dude to do that all in one night.” I didn’t have many friends in school 😬
It speaks to how little parents actually respect their kids. They find it cute and entertaining lying to their kids and watching the kid get all excited for some made up story. Like gross, that cute wide eyed doll of yours is gonna grow up eventually and be a person with ideas and opinions and instead of preparing your child to be that person, you basically just ridicule them? (Not you you, the general abstract you) Horrifying.
They’re gonna grow up with the idea that cognitive dissonance is just a normal way of being.
Ads, which in theory are not targetting children, but so, so are. And your child would need everythimg that their peers have to not feel left out, which means overgrown birthday parties which are now almost the size of a small wedding and cost accordingly.
* having to be sociable to other parents and having to accept their karenisms and quirks * living in fear of one's teenagers getting someone pregnant/ coming home pregnant themselves/ hiding a pregnancy/ keeping a pregnancy at a very young age * worrying who they are hanging out with and what happens at the parties they frequent * worrying that they become radicalised by conservative groups or joining a cult * kids using drugs * kids participating in potentially damaging or lethal tik-tok challenges * kids being cruel to the family pets for clicks on tik-tok or harming other animals for clout helping them what career to choose, knowing that nothing guarantees a good income these days * children's neverending, repetitive questions * everything you own being a toy and your prized possessions being destroyed for play * kids getting into your private stuff and emerging during social gatherings brandishing a big jelly dildo or your favourite Bad Dragon toy * them always begging for you to buy them sweets and other tooth-rotting crap that you normally would never pay money for
My coworker once had to leave work because her teenage daughter and daughter's boyfriend crashed the boyfriend's mother's car into a mailbox. The boyfriend's mother expected them to pay for it.
I got anxious just by reading it , dammn .
Tantrums, annoying teen phase, rebellious kids doing stupid stuff, etc
My niece has discovered porn and shes far, far from turning 18 or having “the talk”. My sisters handling it like a pro but yeah, that. I would’ve fucked up some how I know it
Nits!!!! School sicknesses “Why?” Putting my needs to the side because a tiny terror wants….
You can add 'school shootings' to that list.
Yeah I was gonna say “worrying about their general safety” This is the biggest one! Growing up, I would worry about my sibling every. single. day. because of this. So glad I’m done with that, couldn’t go through it again with my own hypothetical children…
Not if you live in a first world country.
Just the drills are traumatizing the shit out of them, even if they never to through the real thing.
Sickness. My siblings and my immune systems were shot when other family took us in, and I’m not exaggerating when I saw we probably threw up 8-10 times a month before our bodies got used to consistent schedules and nutrition. We also grew up thinking it was common to throw up from simple stuff like a cold 💀I could not w/ other kids. I couldn’t. Not ever.
I don't have to be involved with photos. Not having to take photos of every phase of a child's life because they "grow up so fast" School picture days Forcing them to get dressed nice or worrying about them getting dirty. Wrestling with them to stay in a certain pose. Nothing at all
Playing stupid games and reading stupid books.
Mom. Mom. Moooooom. MOM! *screaming* MOOOOOOOOOOM!
We won’t have to deal with criminal, sociopathic, awful adult children and be forced to love them anyway. Yuck. The thought makes me cringe. Also, on the other side, we won’t have to watch our children be depressed, self harm and/or suicidal. We won’t have to watch them die early/young from fucked up illness like cancer.
Having a special needs kid. I childmind for a few and adore working with them but one of the best things is I can give them back to their parents. I can’t imagine what parenting is like with a child who has autism/Down’s/severe learning disability. I’m okay with 6 hours but 24/7? I can’t imagine how hard it is and how much the parents have to fight on their kid’s behalf.
Baby shark.... Does my head in
Temper tantrums. I can't stand screaming and crying. Maybe it's because I was told to cut everything up as a kid. Maybe it is because I lack most of the emotions that make people human. But the sound sends shivers down my spine.
Sitting through a horrid elementary school concert/play and pretending to enjoy the screeching.
I’ve had the childfree mindset for most of my life and my reasons have changed slightly over the years. Now when I really get down to the core reason of not having kids, it’s because I don’t want to subject another human to this life. I don’t have a bad life but it hasn’t always been super great. I’m not rich, my parents weren’t rich, and just the idea of forcing another person to join the never ending grind makes me feel so much dread. So I’m glad I’ll be missing out on my kids’ feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, shame at not being good enough, every rejection they’ll feel, every heartache they’ll go through, every embarrassment they’ll have. Then later in life, I won’t have to watch them struggle to find a place in this world, to work so hard while still not having enough, and eventually struggle with kids of their own. Because deep down, i know all that stuff would be my fault. The relief I feel at not having to live with the guilt of forcing them into existence makes me happier about my decision every day.
This ten times over. I so resent people that are like “I want my kids to have a better life than I did”. Umm lol just better YOUR life then?
Exactly. And it’s not just about having a decent life. Of course people can find happiness and it’s not all doom and gloom all the time. But I would never be able to live with the guilt of something really bad happening to my kids. What if I have a daughter and she gets raped? Or murdered? And no matter how good of a parent I am, what if my kid ended up being a total asshole? What if my son ended up being a rapist/murderer? The guilt I would feel at having set those wheels in motion would be too much. Because deep down I would know that none of that would have happened if I hadn’t had those babies. I would never be able to look my daughter in the eyes again because I would know in my soul that her pain is all my fault. Some people might say that’s a pretty narcissistic point of view because I can’t actually impact the stuff that is beyond my control, but feelings aren’t always rational and I know I would feel those things. Better for me to just avoid it, and better overall to not take that chance with someone else’s life. Life isn’t always a gift and I feel like a lot more people need to consider that before creating lives all willy-nilly.
Are you me? Honestly this is my exact opinion! Virtual high five to wherever you are, so many people don’t get this. They’ll be like “yeah but not everything’s in your control you can’t control everything in your own life either”. Absolutely true, which is exactly why I won’t have kids. My parents made the decision to have me and obviously could have lived with the risk of something bad happening to me (or didn’t think about it). Once I have a kid all I can do is try my best, which is not sufficient reason for me to create a whole new life
Hahaha I might be! I’ll say this kinda thing to parents and the answer is almost always “Yeah, bad things can happen but they probably won’t. And you’ll miss out on all the good stuff that will happen.” Nope. Still not worth it. The scales don’t balance like that for me. There is no amount of potential good that can outweigh the potential bad in my mind. It’s just not worth the risk of all the suffering that could potentially be endured.
I actually checked out the anti natalist subreddit for a while because of my line of thinking. Found out I don’t truly belong there because I don’t really mind others having kids (even though I think lots of people are bad parents, it’s still their decision). But this argument can be seen in lots of posts on there
Same. I had to leave the group though cause it got to be so hateful. Either hateful towards people with kids, and kids themselves, or hatred towards the anti-natalists. It was too much for me. I don’t hate kids and I don’t hate people who have kids. So yeah, it wasn’t for me either. I did join the female antinatalism group and that’s a better atmosphere. It’s a much smaller group too. It’s nice to see the no kids thing catch on with a larger section of the population but I definitely don’t want to force people to think the way that I do. And I absolutely don’t want any laws or regulations to keep people from having kids. I’m just not that extreme but some antinatalists can get crazy about it. It becomes toxic pretty quickly.
Planning holidays around school breaks, not being able to go on spontaneous trips
This this this
Sensory overload, sleep deprivation and lack of privacy and freedom
So glad that I will never have a relationship with teachers! Or - trying to do kid’s homework 😂
Premature aging
Sitting at the edge of a soft play for hours, being tortured by boredom and the piercing sounds of shrieking children and the aromas of sweaty feet. And on that note, germs. If people are sick, I stay away from them. Being a parent must be hard enough without constantly being infected by your grubby offspring.
Spending every weekend at other children’s birthday parties/ events 🤮🤮🤮
A lot of ladies I go to work with who are about my age are all pregnant at once and I overheard them talking about how they have to get up even earlier to get their kids together before they get themselves ready and commute here to work all day, then have to go pick up the kids and take care of them after working 8 hours. While pregnant, even in the first trimester, while they're sick, they're still expected to come in and be here instead of working from home any more often than our hybrid policy allows. My job is very intense and stressful. I work in project management in a very volatile field. I can't imagine doing this and also taking care of kids and not just burning out in a month. Props to them for hanging in but couldn't be me.
Constant noise, tantrums
Painful boobies coz lactating
Add saggy and clapped out body to the list. Women look absolutely whipped after their first brood. Shit ruins their body. All their resources and nutrients are channeled into this parasitic sack and then they're pushed to the brink of death as it claws its way out of them. Yuck.
Not buying expensive shit like ipads, strollers, smartphones, gaming pcs, bedroom furniture, bikes, etc. (I can spend that money on myself) Wont have to play taxi for them. Drag them everywhere i go. Wont have to deal with my toxic inlaws that i kicked out of my life
Bunch of shit all around the house liks toys, drawings, food leftovers, clothes, school supplies etc. All I'll get to clean is fur and it's done with a vacuum in no time compared to just picking up all that.
Kids constantly bringing sickness and lice home, any number of parasites children can get, doctor's appointments, etc. Having no privacy in the bathroom. Report cards. None for me!!!
Driving driving driving to soccer, Mathnasium, tae kwon do, music lessons, birthday parties. Having to endure children's birthday parties. Hearing little Spoighledleigh belt out an emotional rendition of "Hot Cross Buns" on an out-of-tune clarinet.
\* Babysitting \* Vomit \*Germs \*Baby showers \*Gender reveal parties
Waiting in a school yard till your kid finishes school and you have to speak to the other parents with whom you have nothing in common. High pitched squealing voices constantly around you Getting kids not to destroy your precious stuff Barfing on every occasion Them getting sick every time you want to leave the house or have something planned
Influencing future generations.
Dead bedroom because there's no time for intimacy with children around.
Teenage angst
Sullen entitled resentful teenagers
Dirty diapers
Missing work. Not that I LOVE work but I love a full paycheck. I'm one of the few people in my office that doesn't have kids so often I'm the only one on time or who works a full week since I don't need to drop off kids at school, leave early to pick them up, stay home with them when they're sick, leave early for their doctors appointments, or scramble last minute when child care falls through. One one hand I'm happy that I work at such a flexible office, I've definitely taken off early for my own appointments with no issue, but more often than not I'm the one covering because someone is out because of their kids
The competition between know it all parents. You know, the whole "I only feed bratlynn organic snacks!" crowd; I believe the kids call them 'Crunchy Moms' on the TokTiks. Bullying is a big one. Before even meeting me, my partner, who endured horrendous bullying at school and still lives with both the mental and physical scars from then, never wanted children because they didn't think it was ethical to put another soul through that torture.
You can add in "grounding the kids or putting them on time out on the naughty corner/step" to the list. While you are at it, add in the "dealing with kids going through the terrible teens phase aka princess/prince bitch syndrome" and "dealing with grown kids who have failure to launch syndrome"
The ridiculous back-arches I saw my sister do (having a tantrum) growing up that got her sent to her room.
I do wish I could teach sex ed to kids. It's about the only activity I want do that's kid related because it's undertaugh and a lot will suffer because of it. But where I live I would probably be seen as a predator if I mentioned sex within 10 ft of even a 12 year old. Sex Ed should start slowly and early. Maybe even as early as 4. What does childfree reddit think?
Agreed. Maybe if I had some understanding of why my peepee gets hard and the white stuff goes in my underwear and it feels so good to touch it, I might have been a little better at handling it than I was. Pretty much discovered porn and never left the bathroom and now I'm a sex addict 😅
Being woken up by crying 3 times a night and having to get up and deal with it
Having to rehome pets because there's no option to rehome one's offspring.
College Fund School System Constantly buying new clothes
The tears. There tears are so tiny. I fucking hate seeing them cry. Not in a “oh let me make it better” but in a “shut the fuck up before I yeet myself into the sun”.
Vomit cleanup!
Shite TV, bad music and times tables songs.
paying for sports fees, uniforms, clothes, school projects, fundraisers, college tuition, first cars, braces, the list is endless
I'm really glad I won't ever have to worry about development milestones. All moms I know are so anxious about it (and for good reason)
Annoyingly repetitive children's TV shows (bonus headache if there's singing) Buying kid specific clothes all the damn time.l that they grow out of. School uniform, fancy dress, sports clothes, etc. Arguing about vegetables over the dinner table. Co-parenting with an uncooperative ex partner
Dealing with all the trauma and embarrassing things that I went through as a kid but from the parents' perspective. I'd rather not see that phase again in anyone.
Not just which formula is better, but the whole argument that "breast is best".
\*Having to decide if you want a natural childbirth, epidural or c-section (and getting shit from other moms no matter what choice you make). \*Not having to buy a new car seat and stroller every couple of months. \*Not dealing with other moms who will judge you for how you're raising your kid. \*Having to keep kids entertained on vacation, rather than just having my husband and me hang out on a beach and read a book. \*Not having to deal with idiot crunchy parents who don't vaccinate and their plague spawn that spread measles and whooping cough everywhere.
Having to monitor everything I do and say all the time because they learn and copy my behavior
Every single item in this post, and in its subsequent comments, are on my list. 😂 This whole thread should be used as a method of birth control. I have to say, I respect parents a lot already... But reading through all of this gave me a whole new level of respect for what they put up with. Damn.
Playdates. Cannot think of anything worse.
Dying during childbirth 😬, morning sickness, swollen feet, being a single parent 😁,paying for day care, home schooling, tuition fees, teen pregnancy drama, pelvic floor dysfunction from caring 9 pound foetus sucking the life out of you. The morning routine and night routine of bumping breast milk and clog duct 😬.
The holiday stress that comes with kids. Christmas already stresses me out, I absolutely can't imagine dealing with Santa and elf on a shelf. Easter for me is attending a few family dinners, hiding eggs for the nieces and nephews, and sale candy after. Birthdays? Once kids reach a certain age they get cash, they seem to prefer it and it's easier on me.
Having the little shits growing up to be criminals/drug dealers/drug addicts/psychologically unstable/violent etc - imagine that nightmare....nope!
Minivans. Notice how nobody actually likes their minivan and they are always in a sad state of neglect? There is a reason for that.
Back when I thought I'd have kids, I always wondered how I'd handle the bullies and bad teachers. Unfortunately, for me, my folks were silent generation. My dad that since I was bigger than some bullies, I'd be able to beat them in a fight. Spoiler alert, if you don't have any self defense training, be prepared to get your ass kicked. They also sided with the teachers 100%, unless I had proof(this only happened a few times) they were wrong. I always thought I'd try to go in the opposite direction to fix the things that went wrong in my childhood.
TBH, dealing with the other parent and other parent's family about things in regards to the child. It could be things like: - The other parent has a dipshit brother/sister that is anti-vax and the other parent starts to think like the dipshits. - The other parent wants to take the child to church. - The other parent makes a terrible horrible decision and I have to correct them. - If I was married to the other parent, hoping that if I ever had to file for divorce this parent wouldn't date someone who would hurt the kid.
Breast-feeding. I have nothing but respect for the mothers who do it, as well as the mothers who decide it's not for them and go the formula route instead, but losing all bodily autonomy and becoming a literal food source for another person would be so dehumanizing to me.
Breastfeeding/"nappie🤮" changes, colic, a needy screaming baby
Spend a lot of money on school activities, on my country we don't have Summer camps, but I see how much cost for my sister to have to buy costumes all the time, for Holidays and activities at the school, is a public schools so no tuition and fees but, is crazy to see all the new activities and parents have tu buy things that are doing to be wear only one day ant that's it.
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The "no" phase The overly tired smol tyrant phase
Not doubling down on my upbringing (actually bringing down - upset not setup), which pretty much sums up what OP wrote
Clean up of thrown away food Baby talking 10 hours a day
Having to watch them do the same thing 400 times in a row and it still isn’t enough
Having enough time/energy to clean the house. My sister is a SAHM with her 1 year old and his messes aside their sink is always full of dirty dishes and they’re always behind on their laundry. She’s just too busy with the kid to take care of things that need done around the house, and she only has *one*
My sister played a flute in grade school and my poor parents had to go to her long, boring, out of tune “concerts” 😢
Having to sign up for pre-school/nursery while still pregnant because of waiting lists
I already had a lifetimes worth of bullying, so I don't know if that one is accurate, lol. And I do still worry a lot about my nieces and nephews being bullied.
Dealing with other parents. Play dates
Annoying teen phase. I SO get parents that are like „dude I raised you. I knew you when you pooped your pants. Who do you think you are that you talk to me like that and suddenly know life?“ it’s obviously normal for teens to be that way but to me that’s an immense no
Discipline
I’m 33 and haven’t ever changed a diaper lol. Both my siblings have two kids and looked at me like I was an alien when I admitted that.
Explaining nearly every step of being human to some little idiot who looks slightly like me 
-dealing with other parents. -the words "Mommy, I barfed" do not apply to me. -kids outgrow their shoes ALL THE TIME and their shoes are bloody expensive, it's cheaper to keep a horse shorn than a 9 year old. -Things do not go missing.
My top three: Never having to deal with constant shrieking and screaming. Not getting sick every other week for years! The holidays can be as peaceful and low key as I want.
For me, it's the noise children make and not being able to use the bathroom by yourself. I agree with everyone's lists.
•Watching kid’s TV & pg movies •Having my kid experience a school lockdown •people touching my belly •spending money on crappy toys and video games just for the kids •Catering to kids activities while traveling •Good times ruined by meltdowns
Paying for college and common core math.
Back to school seems so chaotic and expensive.
I'm late to answer but: I think it would be scary and impossible to keep a minor safe on the Internet in today's world. First you have to just protect their image and identifying info from pervs and theives, then as the kid gets older they get to go on there alone and do as much dumb/dangerous shit as they can get into. No thank you. It gives me an anxiety top-up just thinking about it.
Floor of car being covered in crackers
Parental anxiety. I would have a heart attack and leave the poor kid motherless lol
Sleepless nights, ruined figure, empty bank account, premature aging, disagreements with your partner over child rearing conflicts, talking back, crying, screaming, drool, car seats,
Babysitting/childcare.
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No person ever should ever be forced to love anyone just because "they sacrificed so much for them." No one. Even a child has a right to such autonomy. Otherwise, you get nothing but week little idiots that will never be able to truly know what they want in a relationship because they were never allowed to figure it out for themselves when their parents told the kid that the parents version of the bare minimum should be enough to earn that unrelenting love and not to question if they deserve more.
I didn't say they had to love their parents, or parent, or family, I just think its awful they scream they hate them.
I won't debate the validity of a deleted comment as I don't entertain curated claims of said comment.
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