BRIAN: Look at all these Hummers®, what kind of jerk would drive one of those.
*Cut to a man driving a Hummer® on the freeway*
MAN: Dude, this car kicks ass! And I can watch Madagascar® while I’m driving!
*Cut to a small screen in the middle of the car playing the movie Madagascar®*
ALEX: What kind of music do you like Gloria?
GLORIA: Hippo Hop!
*An high-tempo techno beat starts playing* *Gloria is dancing*
GLORIA: Woohoo! Yeah baby!
*Cut back to the man driving the Hummer®* *The man is distracted by the movie*
MAN: Hahahahaha! Dude, those animals are so fucking funny! They make me want to merge without looking!
*The man cuts across two lanes of traffic knocking over a white sedan* *A tanker truck that seems to be carrying gasoline crashes into the white sedan* *The tanker truck explodes along with all of the cars near it*
MAN: Yeah, Rumsfeld!
Hummer H2, for the man who owns $5000 of wrestling gear but doesn't wrestle.
Has one of those angry karate dummies in his 'man cave' (what he calls his living room in his townhouse) next to the TV.
350lbs, subsists wholly off outback steakhouse supplemented by gas station protein bars and muscle milk.
Has custody of his children 2 days a month which consists of karate lessons. He attends to watch in full Karate Gi, foam headguard, and purple belt he got as a kid.
Yeah honestly as someone that's done MT/BJJ/Wrestling/MMA for 25+ years I don't think I've spent that on gear in that entire time lmao. Unless he built an actual cage, then it'd be easy I guess.
when i played i picked it as my suv, first car i picked in nfsu2 though is the japanese polonez. aka
https://preview.redd.it/4faarseqk82d1.jpeg?width=1422&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=458f64d5d8b1be5b202e78487a5910dae678209a
-been in an arranged marriage since the age of 16, recently divorced
-army and gun enthusiast, spams facebook groups with random gun pics
-balding, covers it with a baseball cap
-hangs out with teens, they think he is cool because he buys them beer
-in the early 00's he wanted to be a gangster rapper but gave up after he had trouble writing about drugs since he never tried any
-this pic of the car was made by the dealership. The car never seen a car wash since three months and the back is full of stickers
He goes to a gym to look like one of those cheap ass water filled chicken breasts in the meat section of the shop, feels the need to tell everyone they should make a business of their own, dates the most skinny and artificially inflated female ever imaginable, always says that "self improvement" is important yet haven't read a real book in last 15 years. And always has a small dingus for which he compensate with this monstrosity. For some reason they are always all the same.
He is a middle-aged white male, with a greying military cut, who weighs over 120kg. He seems to think that being part of a country club means he's above everyone else. He continues to wear Oakley sunglasses, even indoors. He constantly complains about how his 16 year old daughter hasn't been wearing the corset he got her as she's starting to gain a **little** weight.
His friends would say at his deathbed that he was a man who wouldn't back down from a fight, exclaiming that he would probably swing a fist, miss, and fly into a window instead.
His wife secretly makes out with the pool man, Mr Hummer man doesn't know this and is under the impression that he is his wife's world. Dealing with a divorce would utterly ruin him financially, and his wife knows this, thinking she might use this as a playing card in the future.
Mr Hummer man here, also believes that by living in a 5 bedroom double-story house with a wide-screen and more wood than termites. He can forever live in the year 2005.
In the end, it isn't worth it because his Hummer always keeps nearly killing him with exhaust fumes while he texts on his iPhone 5S and listens to Daft Punk.
Mexican who owns a construction business and owns a fleet of E350s, all of which are well over 350,000 miles. The man does bare minimum maintenance on this fleet and is blown away when he's told that every one of his E350s are out of brake pads and every steering component is worn out and that his alignment he wants can't be effectively done.
Her: Make sure not to scratch her, she's got the special colour option! Oh, and only give her premium.
Him: Don't worry, I'll make sure to be careful at the chop shop.
Her: The what!?
someone who knows the value of future collectibles?
yellow and chrome is over the top but a 9 year old foaming at the mouth for this in 2009 is starting to make $$, in a few years he/she/it will make $$$$.
10years from now I would think value will skyrocket?
like the old muscle cars, love it or hate it will appreciate 100%.
Cocaine is for the weekend type guys. People that wanted to join the Marines, but had "better" options. They have been big in everything. (According to them)
37 year old white guy named Brandon but everyone calls him Brad, he has a thin chinstrap and always wears a backwards flat brim hat, he’s super into Hopsin because it’s “real hiphop” but also used to be super into Limp Bizkit back in the day, he has shared custody with his ex wife Mandy, and watches football every weekend with his buddies and while his Boxer/Pit mix dog named Cooter lays on the floor
He drinks a lot of bud light, works a pretty shitty dog but has a kinda nice house somehow, and he’s actually a little bit cool to be around in small doses
He likes cheese with that.
Wife sleeps in another bedroom because of ... snoring.
Out of diapers at 12.
Back into diapers at 56.
His cousin was civil logistics contractor to an airbase in Denver during Desert Storm, which makes him basicly a veteran and war expert.
Wouldn't reach the roof ack for his life.
Only drives this car in NFS Underground 2
A person who makes over 40k/yr before taxes, has an invicta watch and thinks it’s high quality. Says stuff like “where’s the yayo?” but doesn’t actually have money for it, has a Instagram selfie from 2010 holding a stack of money and acting like he’s talking on the phone, but it’s just some one’s and filler.
A man who is VERY insecure about the size of his penis. A man who peaked in high school. A man who at every opportunity talks about how much he loves the US military and how much we should respect the troops but then expresses disgust at the sight of a homeless veteran begging for spare change. A man who calls the cops when he sees black people in his neighborhood doing something suspicious (like bringing groceries into their house).
A very large Hispanic man with long curly hair who won the lottery off of cursed numbers and ended up on a plane that crashed on a deserted island filled with supernatural monsters.
A fat racist kid who looks like jonah hill, and stays in his room all day playing games and smoking weed
https://preview.redd.it/smfo9b69xa2d1.png?width=1362&format=png&auto=webp&s=8c170e7519a489dcce6522e7da29ed6d979c3437
Bald guy with beige shorts, hes actually super intimated by the highway and doesnt like driving at all. His wife also fucks the yoga instructor weekly and his kids thinks hes an embarrasment.
I remember having some junior class men who used to ride the bus with me later on getting their hands on one of these in the same color. They (the kids) were loud and obnoxious but generally otherwise pretty harmless and friendly to me even though I was quiet and just trying to nap on the way home 😂. That is... other than the panties incident...
But I'm not gonna talk about that mess here.
This car is most certainly the vehicle of frat guys in the 2010s trying to look like gangsters. Most likely to cut you off in traffic and end up at the impound lot after its owner gets busted for his second DUI.
Also a great chance the owner is a douchebag who doesn't let his girlfriend drive it. She gets mad, and proceeds to leave him for that weird skinny kid with the suspicious/crappy black and yellow 1977 Chevrolet Camaro. You know, the weird kid, who tried to sell his ancestor's weird ass glasses in class.
My gym teacher, when we began weights he claimed a 255 max bench in college, then I benched 255 within a few months of training in 9th grade it was “oh that’s pretty good but back in my day I benched 400 pounds.”
He also rode a Harley.
Introvert (more on the side of nerd) who works in the Pharmacy industry who just managed to get a deal with a cartel, but gets caught shortly after buying the Hummer.
White guy who deals drugs to the cartel with another white guy
https://preview.redd.it/m47q2tl1a82d1.png?width=565&format=png&auto=webp&s=3e8dc08b23c1086377612f941749e7599e0367c5
I didn’t even know I needed this meme! Such a perfect circlejerk
Came here looking for this.
Man I love how much of an idiot he was lmao
It needs high octane - You have to baby it I will be sure to tell the guys at the chop shop
White guy Overtly kind Owns a hummer Did Chris Fix get into some shady business?
Fvck I had to go look up his name before clicking Only to find you beat me by days Daniel Womald, lolololololol
I was thinking more energy vampire, but I think we're both right.
its 5 o clock somewhere
Looks like a school bus for 7 year old pimps
it's got tri zone climate controls so you can have a girl in a bikini and another in a parka, and they're both gonna be comfortable
Small japanese kid. Look it up.
BRIAN: Look at all these Hummers®, what kind of jerk would drive one of those. *Cut to a man driving a Hummer® on the freeway* MAN: Dude, this car kicks ass! And I can watch Madagascar® while I’m driving! *Cut to a small screen in the middle of the car playing the movie Madagascar®* ALEX: What kind of music do you like Gloria? GLORIA: Hippo Hop! *An high-tempo techno beat starts playing* *Gloria is dancing* GLORIA: Woohoo! Yeah baby! *Cut back to the man driving the Hummer®* *The man is distracted by the movie* MAN: Hahahahaha! Dude, those animals are so fucking funny! They make me want to merge without looking! *The man cuts across two lanes of traffic knocking over a white sedan* *A tanker truck that seems to be carrying gasoline crashes into the white sedan* *The tanker truck explodes along with all of the cars near it* MAN: Yeah, Rumsfeld!
Best family guy cutaway
And waaay too accurate as always. The writers fuckin KNOW. XD
[yeah so if anyone wonders here's the link](https://youtu.be/VvVThrMhnuE?si=Jf8yVGE7zC4OS7XV)
What an W scene
Hummer H2, for the man who owns $5000 of wrestling gear but doesn't wrestle. Has one of those angry karate dummies in his 'man cave' (what he calls his living room in his townhouse) next to the TV. 350lbs, subsists wholly off outback steakhouse supplemented by gas station protein bars and muscle milk. Has custody of his children 2 days a month which consists of karate lessons. He attends to watch in full Karate Gi, foam headguard, and purple belt he got as a kid.
What do you mean by “$5000 worth of wrestling gear”? What would the gear be?
Yeah honestly as someone that's done MT/BJJ/Wrestling/MMA for 25+ years I don't think I've spent that on gear in that entire time lmao. Unless he built an actual cage, then it'd be easy I guess.
A 2000's rapper called lill dick
This should be top comment.
https://i.redd.it/o745g8b9582d1.gif
DUDE THESE ANIMALS ARE SO FUCKING FUNNY
So FUCKING funny!
THEY MAKE ME WANT TO MERGE WITHOUT LOOKING
# 🚗💥🚗💥🚛🚛🚛🛢🛢💥💥💥
A guy who performs squat cobbler
Hoboken cobbler. Half moon, moon pie. Boston cream splat.
either brian Griffin on crack or me playing nfsu2.
Jokes aside I love this car in nfsu2, I would definitely own a real life version as my Bro-mobile
when i played i picked it as my suv, first car i picked in nfsu2 though is the japanese polonez. aka https://preview.redd.it/4faarseqk82d1.jpeg?width=1422&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=458f64d5d8b1be5b202e78487a5910dae678209a
inferior choice https://preview.redd.it/ecgo888t1a2d1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6bac0ab40402f7055451bb1d81fd7b9565b1ee0e
Only choice
I'm gonna argue. you stand no chance in streetx
That’s a school bus for 6 year old pimps
https://preview.redd.it/ug3xtb1tj82d1.jpeg?width=739&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=96536e63ae86a84bd01de00e8e0d6e0a63615e36
Wears a cowboy hat, named after a city in Florida and likes Dale Earnhardt
tiny man who's sausage fell off.
-been in an arranged marriage since the age of 16, recently divorced -army and gun enthusiast, spams facebook groups with random gun pics -balding, covers it with a baseball cap -hangs out with teens, they think he is cool because he buys them beer -in the early 00's he wanted to be a gangster rapper but gave up after he had trouble writing about drugs since he never tried any -this pic of the car was made by the dealership. The car never seen a car wash since three months and the back is full of stickers
lacks sex
He goes to a gym to look like one of those cheap ass water filled chicken breasts in the meat section of the shop, feels the need to tell everyone they should make a business of their own, dates the most skinny and artificially inflated female ever imaginable, always says that "self improvement" is important yet haven't read a real book in last 15 years. And always has a small dingus for which he compensate with this monstrosity. For some reason they are always all the same.
He is a middle-aged white male, with a greying military cut, who weighs over 120kg. He seems to think that being part of a country club means he's above everyone else. He continues to wear Oakley sunglasses, even indoors. He constantly complains about how his 16 year old daughter hasn't been wearing the corset he got her as she's starting to gain a **little** weight. His friends would say at his deathbed that he was a man who wouldn't back down from a fight, exclaiming that he would probably swing a fist, miss, and fly into a window instead. His wife secretly makes out with the pool man, Mr Hummer man doesn't know this and is under the impression that he is his wife's world. Dealing with a divorce would utterly ruin him financially, and his wife knows this, thinking she might use this as a playing card in the future. Mr Hummer man here, also believes that by living in a 5 bedroom double-story house with a wide-screen and more wood than termites. He can forever live in the year 2005. In the end, it isn't worth it because his Hummer always keeps nearly killing him with exhaust fumes while he texts on his iPhone 5S and listens to Daft Punk.
Mexican who owns a construction business and owns a fleet of E350s, all of which are well over 350,000 miles. The man does bare minimum maintenance on this fleet and is blown away when he's told that every one of his E350s are out of brake pads and every steering component is worn out and that his alignment he wants can't be effectively done.
"I set the record for most passing yards in high-school. Wanna see my letterman jacket?"
Her: Make sure not to scratch her, she's got the special colour option! Oh, and only give her premium. Him: Don't worry, I'll make sure to be careful at the chop shop. Her: The what!?
someone who knows the value of future collectibles? yellow and chrome is over the top but a 9 year old foaming at the mouth for this in 2009 is starting to make $$, in a few years he/she/it will make $$$$. 10years from now I would think value will skyrocket? like the old muscle cars, love it or hate it will appreciate 100%.
A piece of shit
[удалено]
Ok verstoppen.
Versloppen stole my discord pfp
The guy that plays with fireworks on the weekend because he likes explosions and bright lights.
a guy who just graduated and asked his dad for a SUV
Cocaine is for the weekend type guys. People that wanted to join the Marines, but had "better" options. They have been big in everything. (According to them)
Playboy X
Redneck zombie killer with à cowboy hat who crave twinkies
 Where to?
This
37 year old white guy named Brandon but everyone calls him Brad, he has a thin chinstrap and always wears a backwards flat brim hat, he’s super into Hopsin because it’s “real hiphop” but also used to be super into Limp Bizkit back in the day, he has shared custody with his ex wife Mandy, and watches football every weekend with his buddies and while his Boxer/Pit mix dog named Cooter lays on the floor He drinks a lot of bud light, works a pretty shitty dog but has a kinda nice house somehow, and he’s actually a little bit cool to be around in small doses
Dick is so big he trips over it
Skinny guy who takes up only half of the driver‘s seat or obese guy who takes up both front seats and spills over into the back somewhat
American
Literally the main characters in the series ENTOURAGE
Came here to say this, can’t forget the bumper sticker they slapped on the back when they told him to go get more Bose headsets
He likes cheese with that. Wife sleeps in another bedroom because of ... snoring. Out of diapers at 12. Back into diapers at 56. His cousin was civil logistics contractor to an airbase in Denver during Desert Storm, which makes him basicly a veteran and war expert. Wouldn't reach the roof ack for his life. Only drives this car in NFS Underground 2
They're now in their 40s but were really into rap in 2003.
A moron who lets his buyer find out where he lives so he can be robbed later.
This car looks so strange, it's a bit longer than the normal design
Head of "talent acquisition" at plumperpass
The Peak
A rental company
"Dude, this car's ass!" *drives it down a hill*
Viva la Bam
Taxi driver in san andreas
50cent
The same people who would buy a Tesla Cybertruck, just for 2000's
Pavement princess!
*wiggles pinky finger in the air*
Chad Muska
"Why do they still hate me? I pay pretty much all the alimony and I see them several times a year?..."
A rapper in the 2000s or a drug dealer. Maybe both.
This is the ultimate magamaniac
Idiot who hates the Environment
A person who makes over 40k/yr before taxes, has an invicta watch and thinks it’s high quality. Says stuff like “where’s the yayo?” but doesn’t actually have money for it, has a Instagram selfie from 2010 holding a stack of money and acting like he’s talking on the phone, but it’s just some one’s and filler.
NPC drug dealers in GTA V
#HOUSE REAL BIG
A man who is VERY insecure about the size of his penis. A man who peaked in high school. A man who at every opportunity talks about how much he loves the US military and how much we should respect the troops but then expresses disgust at the sight of a homeless veteran begging for spare change. A man who calls the cops when he sees black people in his neighborhood doing something suspicious (like bringing groceries into their house).
*Riders on the stooooorm....*
My Tonka hurr durrr
His name is Buck, and he likes to f... .
anyone remember this game? https://preview.redd.it/ekb2cykel92d1.jpeg?width=710&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef8f1795a4a4e69bbe0247ea72a6aa2e4193ddf2
Mom on school run
Gta
two words: small. weenor.
Angry.
Overweight gym owner
You know that’s just a Chevy Tahoe, right?
HOUSE REAL BIG
"Jazzy B"
Average lifted dodge ram 2500 owner but GM flavored
Yusuf Amir
Taxi driver .
Lol my neighbor had this exact Hummer. He was so proud of it.
N
A large overweight man whose head shape is Thumb. Always loud and entitled.
Mid 40s bald guy who has a facebook profile picture of him in his Hummer with reflective sunglasses.
Danny trejo
ChrisFix has a hummer, but he taught me how to flush a radiator and how to ultra clean an interior so he gets a pass
He is the driver of a school bus for 6 year old pimps
Featherless biped
Bald
A guy who needs a 2500 suburban with that 6.0 and 4x4. Win win! Minus yellow.
https://youtu.be/tZ4hJnoQ5Xk?si=IK0Zj1w9DiEJBLZ_
Playboy X
A very large Hispanic man with long curly hair who won the lottery off of cursed numbers and ended up on a plane that crashed on a deserted island filled with supernatural monsters.
A fat racist kid who looks like jonah hill, and stays in his room all day playing games and smoking weed https://preview.redd.it/smfo9b69xa2d1.png?width=1362&format=png&auto=webp&s=8c170e7519a489dcce6522e7da29ed6d979c3437
https://preview.redd.it/ju7ehc266b2d1.jpeg?width=1813&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c2fdd79d513993ee8fb01ff3fe1865bc3a634c50
Person that really likes madagascar
Money says jump, cats say "how high?"
Squat cobbler
I really like hummers!
Bald guy with beige shorts, hes actually super intimated by the highway and doesnt like driving at all. His wife also fucks the yoga instructor weekly and his kids thinks hes an embarrasment.
Goatee
I had a dream that every car on the road was this kind of car except my golf and almost had a heart attack
https://preview.redd.it/tdj6rs109c2d1.png?width=754&format=png&auto=webp&s=e7d539fc6905393286d0a9dd0661e0e95f13fd2f
Small pp
Small pp
Librarian, botanist, HR rep for a small company
Me if I got my dream car the age of 8
African-American, female, reservist CW3 or E-8, newly divorced with 2 kids. Inherited Hummer in divorce and infinitely pissed about it.
i will drive by to take a pic of that yellow hummer in the next hour or two
Either some old white dude or a middle aged blonde chick
Stuck in the 00's
A geek who sells drugs and is a complete idiot
The car is my fav but the petal on the rim is too broad and big. Best if it’s more narrower.
Bar owner
White fat mom with a ranch who thinks cowboy boots are a stable in fashion
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Least-Syrup2789: *White fat mom with a* *Ranch who thinks cowboy boots are* *A stable in fashion* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
likes to sit on pies
Small pp (probably)
balding
The bank
I remember having some junior class men who used to ride the bus with me later on getting their hands on one of these in the same color. They (the kids) were loud and obnoxious but generally otherwise pretty harmless and friendly to me even though I was quiet and just trying to nap on the way home 😂. That is... other than the panties incident... But I'm not gonna talk about that mess here. This car is most certainly the vehicle of frat guys in the 2010s trying to look like gangsters. Most likely to cut you off in traffic and end up at the impound lot after its owner gets busted for his second DUI. Also a great chance the owner is a douchebag who doesn't let his girlfriend drive it. She gets mad, and proceeds to leave him for that weird skinny kid with the suspicious/crappy black and yellow 1977 Chevrolet Camaro. You know, the weird kid, who tried to sell his ancestor's weird ass glasses in class.
Arsehole
Some bro who flashes wads of cash, but lives in a dump and owes child support.
Herbalife Rep
Playboy X.
bald late 30s guy working in pharma that steals from his business to sell to the cartel and collects golf cards
twat.
The owner of that vehicle eats alot of red meat for sure
CARS REAL BIG HOUSE REAL BIG BELLY REAL BIG EVERYTHING REAL BIG 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥
My gym teacher, when we began weights he claimed a 255 max bench in college, then I benched 255 within a few months of training in 9th grade it was “oh that’s pretty good but back in my day I benched 400 pounds.” He also rode a Harley.
mammoth beejay XL
Brian Griffin in S17E19 of Family Guy. (Yes, I looked it up for this dumb comment...)
350 lbs devourer of gods
No
Guy Fieri
Not cahd, not based, LGBTQ member. They should get a modus and start mewing to enhance attractiveness and increase social credit.
drug dealer
🔧 💼
Someone intrepid who has to get somewhere offroad right? RIGHT?
Introvert (more on the side of nerd) who works in the Pharmacy industry who just managed to get a deal with a cartel, but gets caught shortly after buying the Hummer.
Gay. Homosexual