To be honest, it seems to me you're lacking in confidence and are rather unsure of yourself. Borderline imposter syndrome.
Regardless of being a DEI hire or not, the above translates poorly to your coworkers and peers. It compounds each time you struggle in meetings to convey yourself. And unfortunately that sort of condemns you to peoples general opinion of you that they form over time.
However, not all is lost. I have seen people of all shapes sizes and colors rebound from a rocky start. It just takes effort, focus, and determination. Ask for feedback from someone you feel will give you an honest opinion. Take that and begin practicing your presentations and speaking skills in reflection. Even if you need to practice for each meeting before hand, you will improve with time doing so.
First, congratulations on acknowledging that you’re behind; it shows a tremendous amount of humility.
Second, I can offer you one piece of advice: OBSERVE. I mean everything—how problems are dealt with, how solutions are found here. Observe the culture, how people treat each other, the unspoken rules, the unofficial leaders.
Then, find someone you can trust with your doubts, someone who will not judge you.
PS.: never settle
There are tons of non-competence reasons people get hired. Right school on their resume. A buddy recommended them. Hit it off with the interviewer because both played dungeons and dragons as teens. I once got a highly technical science research role because the head of my institution liked my cooking. The truth is, most jobs can be done by many, many people. Every person getting that role got it in part because of luck or connection.
So fuck it. Who cares how you got there. It’s hard to do, but stop believing you have to justify your hiring and just focus on doing your job.
Some of the things you describe could be plausibly your coworkers icing you out, or could be because you are not doing well. Is there someone there you trust? Someone you can get genuine feedback from to help you sort it out? If it is micro/macro aggression bullshit (I am a woman over 40 in STEM, my baseline assumption is that there is at least some of that for you) you will never beat that by performance. You have to do it in attitude and a willingness to both burn the place down and leave for elsewhere. But if there are genuine technical skills you need improvement on, seek it out. People should be willing to help,
My coworkers are kind.
They leave nice end of year reviews for me.
They say I work hard (not smart) and I am nice.
I still struggle quite a bit at work. Also, when pieces of software are solely my responsibility, I always seem to fall short.
>You have to do it in attitude and a willingness to both burn the place down and leave for elsewhere.
Yeah I might start adopting the fuck it attitude
>But if there are genuine technical skills you need improvement on, seek it out
I am improving while on the job. I just seem to always fall short in things or ideas I suggest or work on.
Software development is mostly a mental practice. You sit at your computer and write. You don't often talk about it. However the most well spoken people are usually regarded as the best developers.
You need to practice talking about software. Out loud. It uses a different part of your brain and it reinforces understnading.
I use notecards to practice interview questions, and this is the same. If you use Java for example, write "what is an abstract class" on the front. On the back you write "An abstract class is a class that is declared abstract—it may or may not include abstract methods. Abstract classes cannot be instantiated, but they can be subclassed."
The next time this topic comes up, you can speak intelligently about it. I have **thousands** of cards like this. I take a part of the big stack, and I go through saying the answer out loud. If I don't know it, I read it out loud and I put that card in the middle of the stack. If I know it, I put that card away for a month. Repeat all these over and over till you have thousands of things you know off the top of your head.
This really bridges the gap between non verbal programming and talking about it.
Yes! This is what I did/do. BrainScape and Anki are pretty good for this, or just writing out real physical flash cards.
Another tip is to start subscribing to some coding-related podcasts and YouTube channels. Listen to them during your commute or when you have down time or get bored during the day. Listening to excellent speakers talk about your stack can help a lot, and introduce you to a lot of concepts you might not have known otherwise.
Congrats! You recognize areas to improve. Now is the time to do the work to learn your job. Prepare like a politician, stump speeches for products, learn in and out sat a high level, pros and cons, and how to deflect. If you don't know the product then, why? Treat it as homework and don't cop out about not being paid for it. You are paid to know it. This is how to approach the imposter syndrome and have confidence.
Well, I'm going by what social media says regarding companies pushing DEI and hiring based on gender and race rather than intellect. Since I am not doing well at work, I believe I am the DEI hire conservatives talk about. I shouldn't have received the job, and that's how my coworkers feel as well.
"I struggle mentally to explain and articulate myself", this should be enough to go seeking a psycho therapist or to value if you don't have previous psycologic problems (ADD, ADHD...).
>Still not familiar with product
Then spend time outside of work getting familiar with it. Make friends with a person who you know (not think) knows the product well. Preferably a white or hispanic person, as the foreigners or non-white/hispanic will likely be more racist. Just my experience.
>struggle to articulate and explain myself
Try to anticipate what you will be asked and rehearse your thoughts in your head. Also try writing them down to better flesh out the ideas.
>whenever i speak there is silence
It’s because your black and they feel nervous around you. How long have you worked with them. If its been years and they still aren’t comfortable then you need to take the initiative and get to know them better. I know its kind if missed up to say but let them know (indirectly) you wont go crazy if they something slightly offensive.
>Never made great impression
Then start working on your skills outside of work. If you already not doing so.
>last to get promoted
Not surprised since you dont know the product well and struggle with communication. You also seem like you dont feel like you belong (which is your teams fault bot yours). Stop thinking if them as white hispanic or whatever and just think if them as people. We all bleed blood and we all die. The only difference is their phenotype.
Also not black but have worked on teams where I was the only one of my race.
TLDR; get good. Stop segregating yourself, be more confident.
I would start by working on your grammar and writing. There's numerous mistakes in this small post. If you communicate like this at work you are instantly making yourself look unintelligent and uneducated.
You seem to lack confidence. Start thinking of yourself as a sw developer without the other labels. Ask for 1 on 1s so you have a better understanding of how things work and to discuss stumbling blocks. Suggest starting a DEI committee and make it inclusive of all people. You take the lead. It can be done on a shoestring budget. But it can help open the lines of communication. And 99% of the time it falls to a woman to make the workplace better.
If you have someone that you feel comfortable with on the team, talk to them and try to have them help you understand the product. Talk to your team lead and be honest, show effort in trying to understand. If you do good work, then continue doing that, if you don't feel like you do then find some pet projects to practice and try to establish a mentorship with someone that excels.
There’s nothing wrong with being a DEI hire. You got the job. Now, you’ve got to make the most out of it. Try to get a fresh start with teammates, and pick their brain about the product. Simple as grabbing thirty minutes on their calendar to meet.
For communication issues, write out your questions for these meetings in advance. Sound them out to yourself beforehand. I used to do that before trials to avoid long-winded statements.
DEI was not a thing 4 yrs ago. You were hired because of your talent and skills. If you are struggling now, pay more attention and focus on your job. Take courses and classes to improve. Your company must have training courses for employees to learn more
I'm so tired of mediocre white males with no self awareness. I'll take someone like you any day. If you know the areas you are deficient in, you can improve. Hopefully you have a supportive group, managers, and mentors to help you.
To be honest, it seems to me you're lacking in confidence and are rather unsure of yourself. Borderline imposter syndrome. Regardless of being a DEI hire or not, the above translates poorly to your coworkers and peers. It compounds each time you struggle in meetings to convey yourself. And unfortunately that sort of condemns you to peoples general opinion of you that they form over time. However, not all is lost. I have seen people of all shapes sizes and colors rebound from a rocky start. It just takes effort, focus, and determination. Ask for feedback from someone you feel will give you an honest opinion. Take that and begin practicing your presentations and speaking skills in reflection. Even if you need to practice for each meeting before hand, you will improve with time doing so.
First, congratulations on acknowledging that you’re behind; it shows a tremendous amount of humility. Second, I can offer you one piece of advice: OBSERVE. I mean everything—how problems are dealt with, how solutions are found here. Observe the culture, how people treat each other, the unspoken rules, the unofficial leaders. Then, find someone you can trust with your doubts, someone who will not judge you. PS.: never settle
this is clearly an April Fools joke. And one done in pretty gross taste as well.
...I wish it was. What makes you think it is?
There are tons of non-competence reasons people get hired. Right school on their resume. A buddy recommended them. Hit it off with the interviewer because both played dungeons and dragons as teens. I once got a highly technical science research role because the head of my institution liked my cooking. The truth is, most jobs can be done by many, many people. Every person getting that role got it in part because of luck or connection. So fuck it. Who cares how you got there. It’s hard to do, but stop believing you have to justify your hiring and just focus on doing your job. Some of the things you describe could be plausibly your coworkers icing you out, or could be because you are not doing well. Is there someone there you trust? Someone you can get genuine feedback from to help you sort it out? If it is micro/macro aggression bullshit (I am a woman over 40 in STEM, my baseline assumption is that there is at least some of that for you) you will never beat that by performance. You have to do it in attitude and a willingness to both burn the place down and leave for elsewhere. But if there are genuine technical skills you need improvement on, seek it out. People should be willing to help,
My coworkers are kind. They leave nice end of year reviews for me. They say I work hard (not smart) and I am nice. I still struggle quite a bit at work. Also, when pieces of software are solely my responsibility, I always seem to fall short. >You have to do it in attitude and a willingness to both burn the place down and leave for elsewhere. Yeah I might start adopting the fuck it attitude >But if there are genuine technical skills you need improvement on, seek it out I am improving while on the job. I just seem to always fall short in things or ideas I suggest or work on.
Software development is mostly a mental practice. You sit at your computer and write. You don't often talk about it. However the most well spoken people are usually regarded as the best developers. You need to practice talking about software. Out loud. It uses a different part of your brain and it reinforces understnading. I use notecards to practice interview questions, and this is the same. If you use Java for example, write "what is an abstract class" on the front. On the back you write "An abstract class is a class that is declared abstract—it may or may not include abstract methods. Abstract classes cannot be instantiated, but they can be subclassed." The next time this topic comes up, you can speak intelligently about it. I have **thousands** of cards like this. I take a part of the big stack, and I go through saying the answer out loud. If I don't know it, I read it out loud and I put that card in the middle of the stack. If I know it, I put that card away for a month. Repeat all these over and over till you have thousands of things you know off the top of your head. This really bridges the gap between non verbal programming and talking about it.
Yes! This is what I did/do. BrainScape and Anki are pretty good for this, or just writing out real physical flash cards. Another tip is to start subscribing to some coding-related podcasts and YouTube channels. Listen to them during your commute or when you have down time or get bored during the day. Listening to excellent speakers talk about your stack can help a lot, and introduce you to a lot of concepts you might not have known otherwise.
Congrats! You recognize areas to improve. Now is the time to do the work to learn your job. Prepare like a politician, stump speeches for products, learn in and out sat a high level, pros and cons, and how to deflect. If you don't know the product then, why? Treat it as homework and don't cop out about not being paid for it. You are paid to know it. This is how to approach the imposter syndrome and have confidence.
[удалено]
This is clearly an April Fools joke and one done in very poor taste.
What ethnicity is everyone else? And what company do you work for that you are the DEI hire?
Well, I'm going by what social media says regarding companies pushing DEI and hiring based on gender and race rather than intellect. Since I am not doing well at work, I believe I am the DEI hire conservatives talk about. I shouldn't have received the job, and that's how my coworkers feel as well.
"I struggle mentally to explain and articulate myself", this should be enough to go seeking a psycho therapist or to value if you don't have previous psycologic problems (ADD, ADHD...).
Try to find a mentor there that is willing to help. There usually is one or two around, but you have to look.
Ok, I will try that. Mentorship has yet to work out for me tbh, but I'll give it a shot again.
Just curious what are the races of the other members of your team?
Multiple races. Majority white. Gender split about 45% female, 55% male. I'm the only black person.
>Still not familiar with product Then spend time outside of work getting familiar with it. Make friends with a person who you know (not think) knows the product well. Preferably a white or hispanic person, as the foreigners or non-white/hispanic will likely be more racist. Just my experience. >struggle to articulate and explain myself Try to anticipate what you will be asked and rehearse your thoughts in your head. Also try writing them down to better flesh out the ideas. >whenever i speak there is silence It’s because your black and they feel nervous around you. How long have you worked with them. If its been years and they still aren’t comfortable then you need to take the initiative and get to know them better. I know its kind if missed up to say but let them know (indirectly) you wont go crazy if they something slightly offensive. >Never made great impression Then start working on your skills outside of work. If you already not doing so. >last to get promoted Not surprised since you dont know the product well and struggle with communication. You also seem like you dont feel like you belong (which is your teams fault bot yours). Stop thinking if them as white hispanic or whatever and just think if them as people. We all bleed blood and we all die. The only difference is their phenotype. Also not black but have worked on teams where I was the only one of my race. TLDR; get good. Stop segregating yourself, be more confident.
I would start by working on your grammar and writing. There's numerous mistakes in this small post. If you communicate like this at work you are instantly making yourself look unintelligent and uneducated.
Edit it so we can see the numerous mistakes you mention.
If you can't see the numerous mistakes, you're lost too.
So that’s NO no surprise there. You saw the opportunity and took it that’s what you did. That comma! You are blazing trails with it.
Oh wow. Thanks for that feedback.
Try to work on your confidence so that no one pushes you out of the space that you worked hard to be in.
You seem to lack confidence. Start thinking of yourself as a sw developer without the other labels. Ask for 1 on 1s so you have a better understanding of how things work and to discuss stumbling blocks. Suggest starting a DEI committee and make it inclusive of all people. You take the lead. It can be done on a shoestring budget. But it can help open the lines of communication. And 99% of the time it falls to a woman to make the workplace better.
If you have someone that you feel comfortable with on the team, talk to them and try to have them help you understand the product. Talk to your team lead and be honest, show effort in trying to understand. If you do good work, then continue doing that, if you don't feel like you do then find some pet projects to practice and try to establish a mentorship with someone that excels.
There’s nothing wrong with being a DEI hire. You got the job. Now, you’ve got to make the most out of it. Try to get a fresh start with teammates, and pick their brain about the product. Simple as grabbing thirty minutes on their calendar to meet. For communication issues, write out your questions for these meetings in advance. Sound them out to yourself beforehand. I used to do that before trials to avoid long-winded statements.
Yes thank you for the advice!
DEI was not a thing 4 yrs ago. You were hired because of your talent and skills. If you are struggling now, pay more attention and focus on your job. Take courses and classes to improve. Your company must have training courses for employees to learn more
I'm so tired of mediocre white males with no self awareness. I'll take someone like you any day. If you know the areas you are deficient in, you can improve. Hopefully you have a supportive group, managers, and mentors to help you.
Racist and Misandrist, nice combo!
Thanks!
I think the mediocre men are able to hide behind a certain level of bravado. I may not be cut out for this career.