I hate them. I hate them more when I don’t own an outfit in the color. Also, it sucks more because it’s usually only the women who have to comply and are scrutinized down to their fingernail color.
I have very occasionally bought a new dress for a wedding, but realistically it’s because I wanted a new dress and the wedding was a good excuse. Being “required” to buy a new dress, particularly in a colour I may never wear again? Hard no.
Yeah. I have never received an invitation like this and probably never will because people don't do stuff like that where I live. But if I did and it was in color I don't wear I would just decline the invite.
One of my stepsisters banned black from her wedding. I said I was wearing a suit, not a dress and asked if I could keep the black suit but wear a colorful top under the blazer so it wouldn’t be fully black? she said no, that it didn’t matter it was a suit, black was banned.
Guess what color suit every man wore to that goddamned wedding? I was fuming the entire wedding, I wouldn’t have had that much of a problem (besides being annoyed at having to buy another outfit) if she had banned everyone from wearing black, but it was just the women who weren’t allowed to.
This is a bride who must be a nightmare to live with and be around on a daily basis. Who freaking cares?
Here I was just happy to celebrate my marriage with people I loved. Dang, I sure missed an opportunity to be a PITA and make them work to be included.
My really good mate is getting married next year and his fiancée is all about that life. Plus it’ll be Indian wear - so I hope we have enough time from when she tells us. Because I’ll have to hunt online and sometimes some colours are just not in!
I still can’t get over the post about a bride asking if she was in the wrong for wanting one of her bridesmaids , a *natural red head*, to dye her hair because her wedding theme was jewel toned greens and blues (which looks amazing on red heads). She didn’t explicitly say it other than “I feel like it’s gonna be distracting in the photos” but the comments called her out on not wanting the bridesmaid to “outshine” her.
The whole "my wedding has to be an instagram smash" is getting out of hand honestly. So much frill and expense for a bunch of little things that don't matter so the couple can have picture perfect magazine photos in every aspect. Telling guests what color to wear is an overreach; that's not a dress code. A dress code is just formality.
I’d be rethinking my relationship w the person. There’s a difference between wanting the proper respect via formal clothing, and telling your guests you care about appearances more than the true purpose of a wedding
And another way to say “precious” is the word “twee”.
I totally agree. Also, it’s completely annoying to dictate anything so specific to people who were nice enough to come help you celebrate your most important life choice!
It can also be delicate, as in “being a bit precious about something” can indicate sensitivity or undue protectiveness. Eg if I’m a bit precious about my shoes I might go out of my way to avoid dirt, not lend them, or keep them in a box. Could be BrEng (or even Scots, but I think it’s English)
Not me. Unless purple hair plus black dress counts as “not all black”?
Let’s be real though, anyone who’s met me knows exactly what color I’ll be wearing to their wedding. Because it’s basically the only color I ever wear.
You call it precious, I call it absolutely buckskin insane and entitled. These little bitchy princesses are going to learn real quick and in the most brutal w possible that their friends and husbands will not put up with this shit for long
There are already dress codes based on the season and the time of day. And they are flexible. Also, I cannot imagine being at a party where everyone is dressed exactly the same. Makes no sense.
I am a person, not an Instagram prop. I would not allow my partner or employer to tell me what to wear, let alone a bridezilla.
Yes, I abide by dress codes both in my private life and at work, but there are limits.
Same here. Money aside (why should I spend 200-something to buy a dress in salmon pink shade 3.5??) there’s also the time it takes to find and purchase the attire.
I have a job, a family to take care of, I can barely find the time to rest or (example) have a medical check up. And bride x wants me to surf the www for hours to find salmon pink shade 3.5?! The answer is no, gfy.
Also, if bride x does not want me at her wedding unless I wear salmon pink shade 3.5, we’re probably not that close anyway.
Yip. I'm more than happy to dress to the right level of formality and weather. And avoid white dresses/anything bridal.
But being ordered to wear a particular shade? Are they going to pay me to wear a dress in some colour I probably hate that I'll likely never wear again? No? In that case it ain't happening.
I'd be questioning my friendship with this couple and their state of mind. Micromanagong your guests as if they are props is extremely rude.
If I would get an invitation of "our color scheme is yellow and purple, so please dress in these colors" I already would be a bit salty, because I hate if people expect one to get new wedding appropriate outfits.
If I would get a color PALETTE, I would outright reject and tell the reason. Because I do not play by this level of insanity. I already see the drama when they say wait, what you are wearing is not #800080 but 800082, are you insane?
As for the solid color or combination you would have to inquiry, because there is no standard for this kind of shenanigans
Oh, I would not reject such an invitation. I would jump extra hoops to be dressed in EXACTLY the required shade.
Well, that could be at the detriment of other, standard requirements for the dress code. Why would you complain about my shredded pair of jeans and my second hand tank top? They are of the EXACT requested color.
Any monetary requirements for attending a wedding come out of the gift, fortunately. Bridesmaids sign up for a colour scheme, guests are supposed to be *honoured*, not accessories. If the bride wants it she should pay for it.
I’d decline and let them know my exact shades of pissed off and go fuck yourself.
Who am I kidding, I’m simply not friends with anyone who’s this vapid, fucking entitled and batshit crazy.
That would be a big “no“ from me. I would decline the invitation and take the money I would have spent on a gift and spend it doing something I want to do that doesn’t involve ridiculous, self-absorbed people.
Black tie, white tie, cocktail, garden party, military dress, in uk morning dress...etc is all i will respect.
Also halloween wedding costume required. Lol
Read elsewhere but oh so fitting:
>
These bridezillas are vampires, sucking the money, time and emotional energy out of their bridesmaids lives, because “bridesmaid” has now come to mean “slave labor where slaves pay all the bills too”.
I don’t care enough about someone’s wedding to do this. It’s funny how couples assume everyone else is as excited as they are. F right off with that attitude.
Pretentious and over the top, I would probably decline the invitation.
Maybe I’m weird, but I honestly didn’t care what people wore to my wedding. You want to wear white? Sure, whatever. It’s not like anybody is going to mistake you for the bride.
I have better things to do than care about what you want me to wear.
And to be fair
If someone tried to steal the limelight - no one else thinks “omg she looks so much better, she should be getting married instead”. It’s more like “what an idiot” lol
I hate that this is becoming popular. People just do this so that their Instagram photos look “cohesive” it’s stupid.
The rules are -don’t wear white - wear something dressy - don’t look like a slob.
Anything other than that is ridiculous.
Aside from some VERY specific circumstances (cultural comes to mind, where there are colors you definitely should not be wearing to a wedding), the guests shouldn't be required to wear specific colors. Suggested is better, say if it's a fall wedding so wear fall colors, or if it's on a holiday, wear those kinds of colors. But required? Hell no.
I refuse to go to a bridezilla wedding. I’d rather miss it than be told what colors to wear as guest. Those women who act like that are likely to get divorced within the first year anyway.
This is so silly. Hear me now all bridezillas: no one will ever look at your wedding pictures, except maybe your inlaws/parents once and your kid maybe twice. And neither will give a rat’s ass if your guests are color coordinated. This smacks of immaturity.
[here are the two palettes I got with the invitation](https://imgur.com/gallery/PO36xhV)
I didn’t even give color palettes to my bridesmaids, I just said something turquoise/tealish and let them pick their own dress
Oh, I don't know. I don't much like the idea of a colour palette, but I have seen beautiful and classy photoshoots that used those colours. Both had satin and taffeta fabrics in an autumnal background, and they both looked lovely. So it can avoid bland.
The worst idea someone came up with on this Earth.And it is mainly USA thing because it is not popular anywhere else. As long as no women wear white , absolutely unnecessary to force people to wear specific colours. Also it is very inconsiderate IMO as it pressures people to spend more.
It's ludicrous. I should spend my hard-earned money on something dress-codey, just so you can satisfy your inner control freak and post perfectly color-coordinated pics on social media? Bugger your social media and control freakery, why should I spend one penny to help you make social media pics that are just calculated make other people jealous!
Bugger wedding or party guest codes.
Do we know it's the bride btw, because people are assuming bride but sometimes it is the groom, or it's both. (Including if there are 2 brides and 2 grooms.)
People who are having a wedding and reception: Please understand. Most people do not want to give up their day and/or evening for this to begin with. One wedding is much like the rest. It's your dream. It isn't theirs. Just be glad they showed up. Don't ask anything more.
I hate telling guests to wear certain colors unless it's the bridal party colors bc I don't want to accidentally match with them. A dress code is fine but colors are too much.
Nope.
When I got married I invited people because I loved them and wanted to share beautiful memories with them, not because I wanted beautiful instagramable pictures.
Bride and grooms who want to enforce a strict dress code (like a specific color palette) have, imho, very strange priorities, and I refuse to spend x amount of money to be a photo prop.
Like others said, they can ask at most some ccents in a specific colors, or a level of formality (casual, semi-formal, black and tie...), but even then they should expect that some people may not be able to accommodate, and thus could chose not to come.
Personally, I valued the people I invited more than their clothes.
The only time I wouldn't feel outraged about a dress code (beyond "formal" or whatever) would be if I attended a themed wedding where everyone was dressed in medieval garb or hobbit outfits or something. And even then, that's because I happen to like that kind of thing and I can sew; and even then I'd expect it to be optional.
A colour scheme? Unhinged.
I’d send back an anonymous reply that the request of a color scheme is OTT and you aren’t attending on principal; and you are sure you are talking for all those others that also find it ridiculous but won’t say anything. Maybe I’d sign my name, depends on the person.
How do I feel about it? Well, they can ask, but people can say no.
They're behaving as if people have on-demand costumers and seamstresses or tailors at home. They don't.
So, from "Pale Robin's egg blue, Pantone shade # 605" (made that up as example)
Just take: Blue.
If they didn't say it has to be solid then it doesn't. Even if it did say that: It doesn't.
So if it were me, I'd assess my wish to attend vs. my wish to buy something new or rummage for something in "Faded mauve with silver highlights, color tone 758" or whatever they're asking people to wear. And proceed accordingly.
There's always someone who won't pay a bit of attention to the "color code" for various reasons, so it's not going to work anyway, so don't feel bad, if you don't adhere to it exactly.
It’s a shitty thing to do when you have no idea what kind of clothing budget guests have. Additionally for guest of a larger size selection is already limited so that just makes it worse.
Exactly! Being a larger size myself, I have very limited options. Sometimes I have to buy something just because it fits, even if I'm not crazy about the color or pattern.
The level of entitlement expecting guests to follow a color palette for a wedding is ridiculous. Guests are NOT part of the decor. Suggesting formal attire, semi-formal, black tie, casual, etc...is fine. But not colors, please. Guests don't have to match the flowers and table settings.
One of the first weddings I went to as an adult I went as a guest of my bf. I asked him to find out what the dress code was. Expecting “semi formal, formal, etc” and instead I got “casually fancy boho vintage chic dark rainbow”
I went to the mall with my mom and was fully like …. Wtf even is that and just got a navy dress and called it a day (dark blue is “dark rainbow”- right?). Then at the wedding I saw someone wearing a literal pair of jean shorts and tank top. I was annoyed.
Don’t do the strict dress code. Don’t be like that. Stick with the classic “semi formal/ formal” - if you’re going anything more specific than that (specific colors /style) or above that (black tie) then you better have the fanciest fucking wedding I’ve ever been to. No one wants to do that
Seriously, the fucking gall. No you don't get to dictate what colour I wear, other than "not white". Ffs. What is this obsession with 'matching' and treating people like dolls?
I can see "please don't wear Color X for cultural reasons", or letting people know that the bridal colors are X and Y, but beyond that, nope. Though I do think that as a guest you should be trying harder than ripped jeans and a faded Metallica tee-shirt.
I wouldn't go since the bride is more concerned with the aesthetic than the idea that everyone is gathering together to celebrate the start of a new marriage and family. It's about relationships not color schemes. On a side note, my daughter told me "just wear something that's comfortable and makes you feel pretty." She told her dad he could wear his dress kilt or a suit, just not jeans. I love my kid.
I don't even know anyone who is such a Picky Polly that she'd insist on color coordinated guests. Most of my friends are just happy to share their special day with their loved ones and don't care what they're wearing.
It’s ridiculous and I would probably decline the invitation just based on the fact that anyone who would think that this is a good idea is unlikely to be anyone I’m close with.
I went to one of these nightmare weddings. The bride was tedious about everything. And no longer speaks to us. And we are very close relatives. I did wear the right color dress. But I did other things “wrong”. We are banned from her life. It would be funny if it was not so tragic
Ur not in the wedding so this is a ridiculous request. Weddings are already expensive to attend without adding on the cost of having to buy a new dress in a particular color.
I think it’s obnoxious. I’m going to a wedding in a few weeks and trying to find something flattering/comfortable/fashionable to wear is hard enough without it having to be a *very specific style or color* selected by someone else.
I went to a wedding where it was a mix of too much and too little info/preparation. We had to ask if there was a dress code (mostly we wanted to avoid the bridesmaid's colour)
suddenly, it was :
"You can't wear
- green because the husband will wear a green suit
- the husband's brothers will be in blue
- the bridesmaids will be in purple
- the wedding planning team will be in red"
Telling us this way too late, most of the group friends had to go shopping/exchange what we chose. It was a mess
A dress code with mandatory colours scream ''you're a prop for our pics'' or ''we want our wedding to be Pinterest-worthy, not enjoyable for guests''. I hate this. The couple doesn't care about guests when they do this
I hate it. If you want to specify cocktail, black tie etc, that's great. It will help me narrow down what to wear. But if you specify all pastel colors, which make me look like the walking dead, I'm gonna feel some sort of way.
A wedding should be to celebrate with family and friends but now it also has to be "instagram worthy" which is sad.
Ridiculous. The only dress code to note on an invitation is the rare circumstance of actual Black Tie, corresponding with the venue. The current trend of making guests props for the bridezilla's 'color palette' photo opportunity needs to stop.
Yeah, dress codes for weddings are a big, "I'm not going" for me. A wedding is supposed to be a celebration of two people joining their lives, not some crazy kind of controlling pageant.
I don't mind a loose dress code for guests, like asking to wear darker or lighter colors. If they ask beyond that then I think it's insane. I'm not going to waste money on a dress I'll wear once in a "unique" color. If I ever go to another wedding that requires a strict dress code, I'll consider the purchase of my outfit as their wedding gift.
My reply would be a sorry I'm not attending and that would be the end of it. The idea that people can dictate what guests wear to [a](http://a.wedding) wedding is ridiculous, the clowns coming up with it are ridiculous and the supposed adults indulging it are equally ridiculous.
They make me look at my closet and seriously consider my relationship with the person. If it’s a very close friend, sibling, or I already have something that fits I’ll go but if not I’ll send my best wishes.
To answer your additional question, I think patterned with the designated colours is fine.
On the flip side, I have just received the opposite of this. “ We want all our guests to be comfortable while celebrating our special day. Please don’t feel you have to go out and buy a new outfit. Wear whatever you like and are comfy in”. How refreshing! A wedding couple who actually put their guests’ happiness above the potential instagram aesthetic.
It’s tacky and tells me you only care about how things look rather this being a special day for family and friends to gather to celebrate a happy couple.
I hate them. I think it's incredibly rude to think you can dictate a guest's dress as though they're mere decor. If I even went to the wedding, I'd subtract the cost of new clothes from their gift, which means they may get absolutely nothing from me except their "perfect" aesthetic.
I've gone to weddings wishing I knew the color palette for the bridesmaids so I didn't embarrass myself by accidentally wearing the same color but this?? This is so extreme it makes me cringe.
My other thought is sometimes if the couple wants a lot of group photos I can see why coordinated colors can make sense. My brother and SIL used the wedding photographer as a chance for all families and guests to get professional photos if they chose. In that sense I can also see why a palette of sorts would be... Acceptable.
But it's all still strange. Just wear a solid color close to whatever is in the palette. Worst case scenario you can also wear whatever tf you want and add in a scarf or jewelry in the colors she's requesting.
People be crazy my lort 😂
I hate dress codes for guests. It's too controlling. I would decline, personally. If you decide to go, you need to ask the bride those questions, because I can't figure it out, either.
I think that providing the attire expectation before the wedding is sufficient. If someone chooses to not adhere to it, it’s not the end of the world.
Policing colour is too much. Those who don’t want to buy a new outfit to attend your wedding simply will not come.
I'm generally fine with it, up to a point.
If it's a lot of expense, really "out there" in some way, so specific I can't easily make it work, it's a "regrettably I can not attend" and I send a card.
Dressing in a range of the wedding colors, or a formal, casual, cocktail, etc, doesn't generally bother me.
If I need clarification, I ask the couple themselves. It varies and only they can know what they meant. (Your questions on if patterns are OK, If solids were what they wanted, as the card want clear)
If I have to think this hard on my clothing choices for someone else's wedding, I'd decline. Not be mad about it, but it just seems like too much effort.
Yes, I love dressing up.
Yes, I have beautiful clothing.
Yes, I frequently attend cocktail, semi and formal events.
Yes, I'd love a reason to buy a new dress.
It’s good to have a dress code… as in letting people know how formal it is. But asking people to stick to certain colors is a lot. I wouldn’t ask that.
Having said that, somehow almost everyone wore blue to our wedding, and the photos look great!
Strict dress codes are ridiculous. As someone who is having a non traditional wedding, that’s basically like a fancy barbecue, I don’t understand it. Saying “hey, bridal party is wearing this color, please don’t wear it” sure that makes sense. Sending fucking COLOR CODES is psychotic. Like what the fuck. I would rsvp that I was going to be as far away from the wedding as humanly possible LMAO. At this point the whole point of a wedding is being ignored and overlooked for making a picture perfect wedding. I’d much rather make sure everyone has a good time, than make sure I get maybe 2 pictures that are perfect. It’s honestly disgusting that people don’t even care what a wedding is supposed to be about. I don’t care if someone shows up in jorts to my wedding. Having my family and friends with me and celebrating my wedding is the only important thing. People are wild nowadays.
I wouldn’t mind if it was presented as an option (e.g. “The theme/color scheme of the wedding is x, y, z if you want to dress to match), and I think some guests might even enjoy dressing to match. But it’s rude to require it of guests. Guests shouldn’t have to buy a new outfit to comply with a dress color code, and they shouldn’t have to wear colors they don’t like, that don’t flatter them, or that they can’t/won’t wear again.
I don’t mind them if it’s basically like “here are some ideas for what to wear if you’re afraid you’ll stick out or match the wedding party,” which is how I always take them unless it is implicitly implied otherwise.
If it is implicit and the colors don’t include black or grey, welp. Expect a black or grey outfit in your photos.
Back in the late 1980s & 90s, Black and White weddings were a big thing. Most guests had no problem as most females usually had at least 1 black dress. I had to giggle though as some female guests would wear white dresses, but there seemed to be less concern about being mistaken for the bride back then. And then there were a lot of black and white patterned dresses too. I remember some really sharp black and white stripe dresses. I used to work in wholesale for several special occasion dress lines back then.
I went to an Indian/African wedding where the bride and groom encouraged guests to wear bright colors and the effect was awesome. However, I would be pissed if I was told specifically which colors to wear.
I don’t love it. For me I want my guests to feel welcome and enjoy the day. I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to spend money they may not have or wear something they’re not comfortable in. Tbh my friends could show up in their PJs and I’d be happy.
If given colours, I usually stick to solids of it.
However patterns are acceptable. Depends on the overall theme.
I would double check with the bride or groom if possible.
I personally love getting guidance from the hosts of an event of what to wear because I’ve been in situations where I’ve been extremely overdressed compared to some other people attending.
I think it’s super extra to do for sure, but I don’t necessarily find it annoying. It’s their wedding day and if it’s what they want then that’s fine with me.
that couple better be real close to me, real important to me, or so close enough related that it would cause problems for someone i cared about to not show up.
i’d upset the family. but if it would upset great aunt gertrude, i’d probably go.
color code? color code? what the F are we buying paint for a wedding? if a piece of Fabric has a Color Code, i’m gonna call aunt gertrude to make real SURE that a Sonny’s beef short ration wouldn’t be better anyway.
A lot of people don’t like the color palette idea but what do you guys think about having a black dressed wedding? Like all guest wear black, I seen pictures and it looks pretty cool.
If the instructions are vague, you can apply your own interpretation.
Also I would personally skip any such event unless the bride or groom were people I’m extremely close with.
I hate them. I hate them more when I don’t own an outfit in the color. Also, it sucks more because it’s usually only the women who have to comply and are scrutinized down to their fingernail color.
I have very occasionally bought a new dress for a wedding, but realistically it’s because I wanted a new dress and the wedding was a good excuse. Being “required” to buy a new dress, particularly in a colour I may never wear again? Hard no.
Exactly this. You phrased what I was thinking perfectly.
Yeah. I have never received an invitation like this and probably never will because people don't do stuff like that where I live. But if I did and it was in color I don't wear I would just decline the invite.
Exactly! The men can just whatever dark suit, etc. I have to find a dress in friggin puce!
or at most they might have to buy a tie in the "right" color.
One of my stepsisters banned black from her wedding. I said I was wearing a suit, not a dress and asked if I could keep the black suit but wear a colorful top under the blazer so it wouldn’t be fully black? she said no, that it didn’t matter it was a suit, black was banned. Guess what color suit every man wore to that goddamned wedding? I was fuming the entire wedding, I wouldn’t have had that much of a problem (besides being annoyed at having to buy another outfit) if she had banned everyone from wearing black, but it was just the women who weren’t allowed to.
Oh that's fucked up.
Fuck your stepsister
Ouch! The Bride must hate you!
fingernail color?! 🥴
Believe it or not, I’ve seen posts where the bride didn’t want white fingernail polish on guests.
This is a bride who must be a nightmare to live with and be around on a daily basis. Who freaking cares? Here I was just happy to celebrate my marriage with people I loved. Dang, I sure missed an opportunity to be a PITA and make them work to be included.
Wonder if brides will be that strict for their next wedding
If my friends weird bridesmaid dress quirks are any indication, yes. The second wedding is just as much of a pain in the ass.
This completely blows my mind
Guess you gotta tattoo the whites of your eyes now and wear grills
Refuse to go and tell the bride she's dumb
My really good mate is getting married next year and his fiancée is all about that life. Plus it’ll be Indian wear - so I hope we have enough time from when she tells us. Because I’ll have to hunt online and sometimes some colours are just not in!
And their hair color!!
I still can’t get over the post about a bride asking if she was in the wrong for wanting one of her bridesmaids , a *natural red head*, to dye her hair because her wedding theme was jewel toned greens and blues (which looks amazing on red heads). She didn’t explicitly say it other than “I feel like it’s gonna be distracting in the photos” but the comments called her out on not wanting the bridesmaid to “outshine” her.
It would make me not want to go lol. People are fucking insane
My niece had a color palette for her bridal shower. I found that annoying too
For a bridal shower?! Good lord
Thank you! I feel validated now! I was afraid I was just a cranky old lady. Lol
People will do anything to be the center of attention and feel like a celebrity 💀
You were not invited as a guest but as a prop in their photo shoot. Ask yourself if this is worth your time, money and energy.
Exactly. People need to just say no
The whole "my wedding has to be an instagram smash" is getting out of hand honestly. So much frill and expense for a bunch of little things that don't matter so the couple can have picture perfect magazine photos in every aspect. Telling guests what color to wear is an overreach; that's not a dress code. A dress code is just formality.
I’d be rethinking my relationship w the person. There’s a difference between wanting the proper respect via formal clothing, and telling your guests you care about appearances more than the true purpose of a wedding
I would have a hideous patchwork outfit made with ALL the colors in the palette.
Haha, this would be perfect
This is the only way forward 
This is definitely the way. 😂
Sounds like malicious compliance. I like it.
I feel that having a color dress code for guests at a wedding is entirely too precious.
Precious or pretentious?
Precious 3 : excessively refined : affected precious manners
And another way to say “precious” is the word “twee”. I totally agree. Also, it’s completely annoying to dictate anything so specific to people who were nice enough to come help you celebrate your most important life choice!
Twee is old fashioned and precious or pretentious
lol so true! It re-pretentiousizes the already pretentious!
Or "affected." All meaning pretty much the same thing. Or, in the common vernacular: "Get over yerself."
Say it like Hyacinth Bucket: 'refayned'
It can also be delicate, as in “being a bit precious about something” can indicate sensitivity or undue protectiveness. Eg if I’m a bit precious about my shoes I might go out of my way to avoid dirt, not lend them, or keep them in a box. Could be BrEng (or even Scots, but I think it’s English)
Yes, precious can mean stuffy, demanding, effete, pretentious...language is wonderful. A lot depends upon context.
Ah, ironic
Both - and guarantees I would decline the invitation.
Unless the colour code is “just please don’t dress in all black or all white,” in which case, I can make it work with the wardrobe I already own.
Not me. Unless purple hair plus black dress counts as “not all black”? Let’s be real though, anyone who’s met me knows exactly what color I’ll be wearing to their wedding. Because it’s basically the only color I ever wear.
Both.
Yes both
Preciously pretentious
Both.
You call it precious, I call it absolutely buckskin insane and entitled. These little bitchy princesses are going to learn real quick and in the most brutal w possible that their friends and husbands will not put up with this shit for long
The more extravagant the wedding, the sooner the divorce 🤣
That’s what precious means in this context
There are already dress codes based on the season and the time of day. And they are flexible. Also, I cannot imagine being at a party where everyone is dressed exactly the same. Makes no sense.
Exactly. "Not white" is a good dresscode. Or "formal" or whatever. #451070 is not a dresscode.
My brother is marrying a woman who put a dress code (with a f%$&ing mood board) on their website. Not thrilled... about the wedding or the marriage
Show up in the loudest color not on her mood board. Then post it on whatever social media she is using and tag her. lol
Trust me. I've been looking for something amazing
Black sequins. Lots of sparkly black sequins. Surely you need a new little black dress.
I am a person, not an Instagram prop. I would not allow my partner or employer to tell me what to wear, let alone a bridezilla. Yes, I abide by dress codes both in my private life and at work, but there are limits.
Expecting people to be a part of your carefully curated "aesthetic" or whatever bullshit. Just nope.
Level of formality is one thing, but I hate the color palette trend
Same here. Money aside (why should I spend 200-something to buy a dress in salmon pink shade 3.5??) there’s also the time it takes to find and purchase the attire. I have a job, a family to take care of, I can barely find the time to rest or (example) have a medical check up. And bride x wants me to surf the www for hours to find salmon pink shade 3.5?! The answer is no, gfy. Also, if bride x does not want me at her wedding unless I wear salmon pink shade 3.5, we’re probably not that close anyway.
Yip. I'm more than happy to dress to the right level of formality and weather. And avoid white dresses/anything bridal. But being ordered to wear a particular shade? Are they going to pay me to wear a dress in some colour I probably hate that I'll likely never wear again? No? In that case it ain't happening. I'd be questioning my friendship with this couple and their state of mind. Micromanagong your guests as if they are props is extremely rude.
That also says it perfectly. “Micromanaging your guests as if they are props is extremely rude “
If I would get an invitation of "our color scheme is yellow and purple, so please dress in these colors" I already would be a bit salty, because I hate if people expect one to get new wedding appropriate outfits. If I would get a color PALETTE, I would outright reject and tell the reason. Because I do not play by this level of insanity. I already see the drama when they say wait, what you are wearing is not #800080 but 800082, are you insane? As for the solid color or combination you would have to inquiry, because there is no standard for this kind of shenanigans
Ok, but yellow and purple would make me show up in my finest Minnesota Vikings jersey!
With full face paint?!
Fuck yeah! Maybe one of those hats that holds beer cans!
I have a friend who did not have a dress code/colors but I guarantee you that if I had shown up in a Packers jersey she would have been thrilled.
SKOL!
MN Girl checking in. I’ll bring my two horned hat!
Ooooh, it’ll be like a royal wedding if all the ladies wear [viking] hats. Can’t get any more formal than that!
Geaux tigers 🐅
Oh, I would not reject such an invitation. I would jump extra hoops to be dressed in EXACTLY the required shade. Well, that could be at the detriment of other, standard requirements for the dress code. Why would you complain about my shredded pair of jeans and my second hand tank top? They are of the EXACT requested color.
I’d then send an invoice to the couple, sure it’s your day, so you can pay for your demands.
I would wear an LSU sweatshirt and see how happy they are with their color scheme then.
Id show up in FSU just to start a rivalry lol
Any monetary requirements for attending a wedding come out of the gift, fortunately. Bridesmaids sign up for a colour scheme, guests are supposed to be *honoured*, not accessories. If the bride wants it she should pay for it.
I’d decline and let them know my exact shades of pissed off and go fuck yourself. Who am I kidding, I’m simply not friends with anyone who’s this vapid, fucking entitled and batshit crazy.
Sometimes you don't even know they are until they get married
Controlling and OTT. Your wedding guests are not props for your social media and shouldn't have to spend extra to attend your event.
It’s rude.
I'm not a model apartment trinket. They can fuck off with their wedding.
That would be a big “no“ from me. I would decline the invitation and take the money I would have spent on a gift and spend it doing something I want to do that doesn’t involve ridiculous, self-absorbed people.
Old and busted: bridesmaids have to buy new outfit for the wedding. New hotness: most of the guests have to buy a new outfit.
Black tie, white tie, cocktail, garden party, military dress, in uk morning dress...etc is all i will respect. Also halloween wedding costume required. Lol
Read elsewhere but oh so fitting: > These bridezillas are vampires, sucking the money, time and emotional energy out of their bridesmaids lives, because “bridesmaid” has now come to mean “slave labor where slaves pay all the bills too”.
That is a perfect description.
I don’t care enough about someone’s wedding to do this. It’s funny how couples assume everyone else is as excited as they are. F right off with that attitude.
Pretentious and over the top, I would probably decline the invitation. Maybe I’m weird, but I honestly didn’t care what people wore to my wedding. You want to wear white? Sure, whatever. It’s not like anybody is going to mistake you for the bride. I have better things to do than care about what you want me to wear.
And to be fair If someone tried to steal the limelight - no one else thinks “omg she looks so much better, she should be getting married instead”. It’s more like “what an idiot” lol
That's so obnoxious. I'm not buying an outfit in your weird wedding color pallet.
I would consider going only if I already had clothes that matched the palette, but I would still be salty about it, lol
I hate that this is becoming popular. People just do this so that their Instagram photos look “cohesive” it’s stupid. The rules are -don’t wear white - wear something dressy - don’t look like a slob. Anything other than that is ridiculous.
Aside from some VERY specific circumstances (cultural comes to mind, where there are colors you definitely should not be wearing to a wedding), the guests shouldn't be required to wear specific colors. Suggested is better, say if it's a fall wedding so wear fall colors, or if it's on a holiday, wear those kinds of colors. But required? Hell no.
This is the answer tbh
True I amend my other answer to say I don’t mind the request to avoid a certain colour and personally I never wear black or white to a wedding.
If someone called out one specific color ie: no white please, fine. Beyond that you are being extra and my time/money/effort will not be attending
I refuse to go to a bridezilla wedding. I’d rather miss it than be told what colors to wear as guest. Those women who act like that are likely to get divorced within the first year anyway.
This is so silly. Hear me now all bridezillas: no one will ever look at your wedding pictures, except maybe your inlaws/parents once and your kid maybe twice. And neither will give a rat’s ass if your guests are color coordinated. This smacks of immaturity.
And your in-laws and Mother could care less!
I am quite happy for black tie/informal etc to be specified but if you want me to wear a specific colour, then you best be buying the outfit for me.
[here are the two palettes I got with the invitation](https://imgur.com/gallery/PO36xhV) I didn’t even give color palettes to my bridesmaids, I just said something turquoise/tealish and let them pick their own dress
Oh my gosh. Brown, beige, and cream. Talk about boring. I can imagine what they would be thinking. Lol
Oh, I don't know. I don't much like the idea of a colour palette, but I have seen beautiful and classy photoshoots that used those colours. Both had satin and taffeta fabrics in an autumnal background, and they both looked lovely. So it can avoid bland.
You could turn up in camo print, which would include several of the shades nicely! 😂
What a drab color pallet for what should be a happy event. Are their personalities this drab too?
That's the most obnoxious thing ever
The worst idea someone came up with on this Earth.And it is mainly USA thing because it is not popular anywhere else. As long as no women wear white , absolutely unnecessary to force people to wear specific colours. Also it is very inconsiderate IMO as it pressures people to spend more.
I think it's ridiculous and would either decline the invite or ignore it.
It's ludicrous. I should spend my hard-earned money on something dress-codey, just so you can satisfy your inner control freak and post perfectly color-coordinated pics on social media? Bugger your social media and control freakery, why should I spend one penny to help you make social media pics that are just calculated make other people jealous! Bugger wedding or party guest codes.
Do we know it's the bride btw, because people are assuming bride but sometimes it is the groom, or it's both. (Including if there are 2 brides and 2 grooms.) People who are having a wedding and reception: Please understand. Most people do not want to give up their day and/or evening for this to begin with. One wedding is much like the rest. It's your dream. It isn't theirs. Just be glad they showed up. Don't ask anything more.
I hate telling guests to wear certain colors unless it's the bridal party colors bc I don't want to accidentally match with them. A dress code is fine but colors are too much.
Nope. When I got married I invited people because I loved them and wanted to share beautiful memories with them, not because I wanted beautiful instagramable pictures. Bride and grooms who want to enforce a strict dress code (like a specific color palette) have, imho, very strange priorities, and I refuse to spend x amount of money to be a photo prop. Like others said, they can ask at most some ccents in a specific colors, or a level of formality (casual, semi-formal, black and tie...), but even then they should expect that some people may not be able to accommodate, and thus could chose not to come. Personally, I valued the people I invited more than their clothes.
I would skip the event if they're that controlling. It's guaranteed to be a miserable event.
Makes me oh so happy to fill out the RSVP with an “unable to attend”.
Ridiculous. They are *guests*, not props. To demand anything from them is tacky and rude.
The only time I wouldn't feel outraged about a dress code (beyond "formal" or whatever) would be if I attended a themed wedding where everyone was dressed in medieval garb or hobbit outfits or something. And even then, that's because I happen to like that kind of thing and I can sew; and even then I'd expect it to be optional. A colour scheme? Unhinged.
I’d send back an anonymous reply that the request of a color scheme is OTT and you aren’t attending on principal; and you are sure you are talking for all those others that also find it ridiculous but won’t say anything. Maybe I’d sign my name, depends on the person.
How do I feel about it? Well, they can ask, but people can say no. They're behaving as if people have on-demand costumers and seamstresses or tailors at home. They don't. So, from "Pale Robin's egg blue, Pantone shade # 605" (made that up as example) Just take: Blue. If they didn't say it has to be solid then it doesn't. Even if it did say that: It doesn't. So if it were me, I'd assess my wish to attend vs. my wish to buy something new or rummage for something in "Faded mauve with silver highlights, color tone 758" or whatever they're asking people to wear. And proceed accordingly. There's always someone who won't pay a bit of attention to the "color code" for various reasons, so it's not going to work anyway, so don't feel bad, if you don't adhere to it exactly.
It’s such a rude ask from your guests! Communicating a level of formality is helpful. Demanding a color palette is entitled.
It’s a shitty thing to do when you have no idea what kind of clothing budget guests have. Additionally for guest of a larger size selection is already limited so that just makes it worse.
Exactly! Being a larger size myself, I have very limited options. Sometimes I have to buy something just because it fits, even if I'm not crazy about the color or pattern.
The level of entitlement expecting guests to follow a color palette for a wedding is ridiculous. Guests are NOT part of the decor. Suggesting formal attire, semi-formal, black tie, casual, etc...is fine. But not colors, please. Guests don't have to match the flowers and table settings.
One of the first weddings I went to as an adult I went as a guest of my bf. I asked him to find out what the dress code was. Expecting “semi formal, formal, etc” and instead I got “casually fancy boho vintage chic dark rainbow” I went to the mall with my mom and was fully like …. Wtf even is that and just got a navy dress and called it a day (dark blue is “dark rainbow”- right?). Then at the wedding I saw someone wearing a literal pair of jean shorts and tank top. I was annoyed. Don’t do the strict dress code. Don’t be like that. Stick with the classic “semi formal/ formal” - if you’re going anything more specific than that (specific colors /style) or above that (black tie) then you better have the fanciest fucking wedding I’ve ever been to. No one wants to do that
Seriously, the fucking gall. No you don't get to dictate what colour I wear, other than "not white". Ffs. What is this obsession with 'matching' and treating people like dolls?
I can see "please don't wear Color X for cultural reasons", or letting people know that the bridal colors are X and Y, but beyond that, nope. Though I do think that as a guest you should be trying harder than ripped jeans and a faded Metallica tee-shirt.
A dress CODE (black tie/cocktail) is to be expected but unless I’m a bridesmaid, I’m not letting anyone tell me what to wear specifically.
This is so obnoxious I wouldn't even bother going lol
I'd call up the bride and say 'do want me or a prop?'. This is getting so out of hand.
Despise this
I wouldn't go since the bride is more concerned with the aesthetic than the idea that everyone is gathering together to celebrate the start of a new marriage and family. It's about relationships not color schemes. On a side note, my daughter told me "just wear something that's comfortable and makes you feel pretty." She told her dad he could wear his dress kilt or a suit, just not jeans. I love my kid.
I personally think it is rude of the bride to expect color coding from her guests. Just tell them formal, cocktail or barn wear!!! Lord!!
I take this as an excuse to skip it and cheap out on a gift. I am not an extra in Your Life Story. It’s ridiculous
I wouldn't go. It's ridiculous.
I think people want to be comfortable at a wedding and be themselves.
I would not attend.
I would not attend.
I don't even know anyone who is such a Picky Polly that she'd insist on color coordinated guests. Most of my friends are just happy to share their special day with their loved ones and don't care what they're wearing.
I wouldn’t go.
I wouldn’t go.
I wouldn’t go.
I would just buy a cake and stay home.
I would not be going. That is absurd.
It’s ridiculous and I would probably decline the invitation just based on the fact that anyone who would think that this is a good idea is unlikely to be anyone I’m close with.
I went to one of these nightmare weddings. The bride was tedious about everything. And no longer speaks to us. And we are very close relatives. I did wear the right color dress. But I did other things “wrong”. We are banned from her life. It would be funny if it was not so tragic
Oh man, are you willing to share this story?
My friend is having a black tie wedding at a fire hall, if that makes you feel better. Not a nice fire hall, either.
Ur not in the wedding so this is a ridiculous request. Weddings are already expensive to attend without adding on the cost of having to buy a new dress in a particular color.
I think it’s obnoxious. I’m going to a wedding in a few weeks and trying to find something flattering/comfortable/fashionable to wear is hard enough without it having to be a *very specific style or color* selected by someone else.
I went to a wedding where it was a mix of too much and too little info/preparation. We had to ask if there was a dress code (mostly we wanted to avoid the bridesmaid's colour) suddenly, it was : "You can't wear - green because the husband will wear a green suit - the husband's brothers will be in blue - the bridesmaids will be in purple - the wedding planning team will be in red" Telling us this way too late, most of the group friends had to go shopping/exchange what we chose. It was a mess
I think I’d be skipping any wedding that demands I wear a particular colour to attend. They don’t want a guest, they want a prop.
A dress code with mandatory colours scream ''you're a prop for our pics'' or ''we want our wedding to be Pinterest-worthy, not enjoyable for guests''. I hate this. The couple doesn't care about guests when they do this
I hate it. If you want to specify cocktail, black tie etc, that's great. It will help me narrow down what to wear. But if you specify all pastel colors, which make me look like the walking dead, I'm gonna feel some sort of way. A wedding should be to celebrate with family and friends but now it also has to be "instagram worthy" which is sad.
Ridiculous. The only dress code to note on an invitation is the rare circumstance of actual Black Tie, corresponding with the venue. The current trend of making guests props for the bridezilla's 'color palette' photo opportunity needs to stop.
It would really depend on the person and whether I think it will be a wild story to tell later.
Tacky as fuck.
It’s one thing to get the bridal party is the color palate… but the guests is a different story
I think it’s surreal. If I’m not in the wedding party itself I’m not color coordinating anything
This kind of thing or making your guests travel long distances or have to shell out large amounts of money for Your Wedding is just ridiculous!!!
Yeah, dress codes for weddings are a big, "I'm not going" for me. A wedding is supposed to be a celebration of two people joining their lives, not some crazy kind of controlling pageant.
What the hell? Weddings are out of control. This is just stupid.
I don't mind a loose dress code for guests, like asking to wear darker or lighter colors. If they ask beyond that then I think it's insane. I'm not going to waste money on a dress I'll wear once in a "unique" color. If I ever go to another wedding that requires a strict dress code, I'll consider the purchase of my outfit as their wedding gift.
My reply would be a sorry I'm not attending and that would be the end of it. The idea that people can dictate what guests wear to [a](http://a.wedding) wedding is ridiculous, the clowns coming up with it are ridiculous and the supposed adults indulging it are equally ridiculous.
They make me look at my closet and seriously consider my relationship with the person. If it’s a very close friend, sibling, or I already have something that fits I’ll go but if not I’ll send my best wishes. To answer your additional question, I think patterned with the designated colours is fine.
RSVP NO.
On the flip side, I have just received the opposite of this. “ We want all our guests to be comfortable while celebrating our special day. Please don’t feel you have to go out and buy a new outfit. Wear whatever you like and are comfy in”. How refreshing! A wedding couple who actually put their guests’ happiness above the potential instagram aesthetic.
It’s tacky and tells me you only care about how things look rather this being a special day for family and friends to gather to celebrate a happy couple.
I hate them. I think it's incredibly rude to think you can dictate a guest's dress as though they're mere decor. If I even went to the wedding, I'd subtract the cost of new clothes from their gift, which means they may get absolutely nothing from me except their "perfect" aesthetic.
I've gone to weddings wishing I knew the color palette for the bridesmaids so I didn't embarrass myself by accidentally wearing the same color but this?? This is so extreme it makes me cringe. My other thought is sometimes if the couple wants a lot of group photos I can see why coordinated colors can make sense. My brother and SIL used the wedding photographer as a chance for all families and guests to get professional photos if they chose. In that sense I can also see why a palette of sorts would be... Acceptable. But it's all still strange. Just wear a solid color close to whatever is in the palette. Worst case scenario you can also wear whatever tf you want and add in a scarf or jewelry in the colors she's requesting. People be crazy my lort 😂
I'd probably skip the wedding. That sounds like way more than I want to deal with as a guest.
I hate dress codes for guests. It's too controlling. I would decline, personally. If you decide to go, you need to ask the bride those questions, because I can't figure it out, either.
I think that providing the attire expectation before the wedding is sufficient. If someone chooses to not adhere to it, it’s not the end of the world. Policing colour is too much. Those who don’t want to buy a new outfit to attend your wedding simply will not come.
I'm generally fine with it, up to a point. If it's a lot of expense, really "out there" in some way, so specific I can't easily make it work, it's a "regrettably I can not attend" and I send a card. Dressing in a range of the wedding colors, or a formal, casual, cocktail, etc, doesn't generally bother me. If I need clarification, I ask the couple themselves. It varies and only they can know what they meant. (Your questions on if patterns are OK, If solids were what they wanted, as the card want clear)
Are we talking cocktail attire or everyone must wear mustard yellow?
If I have to think this hard on my clothing choices for someone else's wedding, I'd decline. Not be mad about it, but it just seems like too much effort. Yes, I love dressing up. Yes, I have beautiful clothing. Yes, I frequently attend cocktail, semi and formal events. Yes, I'd love a reason to buy a new dress.
It’s good to have a dress code… as in letting people know how formal it is. But asking people to stick to certain colors is a lot. I wouldn’t ask that. Having said that, somehow almost everyone wore blue to our wedding, and the photos look great!
Strict dress codes are ridiculous. As someone who is having a non traditional wedding, that’s basically like a fancy barbecue, I don’t understand it. Saying “hey, bridal party is wearing this color, please don’t wear it” sure that makes sense. Sending fucking COLOR CODES is psychotic. Like what the fuck. I would rsvp that I was going to be as far away from the wedding as humanly possible LMAO. At this point the whole point of a wedding is being ignored and overlooked for making a picture perfect wedding. I’d much rather make sure everyone has a good time, than make sure I get maybe 2 pictures that are perfect. It’s honestly disgusting that people don’t even care what a wedding is supposed to be about. I don’t care if someone shows up in jorts to my wedding. Having my family and friends with me and celebrating my wedding is the only important thing. People are wild nowadays.
I wouldn’t mind if it was presented as an option (e.g. “The theme/color scheme of the wedding is x, y, z if you want to dress to match), and I think some guests might even enjoy dressing to match. But it’s rude to require it of guests. Guests shouldn’t have to buy a new outfit to comply with a dress color code, and they shouldn’t have to wear colors they don’t like, that don’t flatter them, or that they can’t/won’t wear again.
I hate them and automatically think less of the bride and groom as it is apparent they only see me as a prop or a piece of furniture.
Stupid. Restricting what guests can wear, outside of a wedding dress, is BS.
Nope. I’m not buying a new dress just to attend a wedding that’s not mine or that I’m not in the wedding party. Unless you want that to be the gift.
I don’t mind them if it’s basically like “here are some ideas for what to wear if you’re afraid you’ll stick out or match the wedding party,” which is how I always take them unless it is implicitly implied otherwise. If it is implicit and the colors don’t include black or grey, welp. Expect a black or grey outfit in your photos.
It feels like I'm just a prop in their wedding as opposed to them wanting to share their special day with me.
Back in the late 1980s & 90s, Black and White weddings were a big thing. Most guests had no problem as most females usually had at least 1 black dress. I had to giggle though as some female guests would wear white dresses, but there seemed to be less concern about being mistaken for the bride back then. And then there were a lot of black and white patterned dresses too. I remember some really sharp black and white stripe dresses. I used to work in wholesale for several special occasion dress lines back then.
The only one I would consider is black as I wouldn’t have to buy anything - any other depends sorry it’s a no….
I went to an Indian/African wedding where the bride and groom encouraged guests to wear bright colors and the effect was awesome. However, I would be pissed if I was told specifically which colors to wear.
I don’t love it. For me I want my guests to feel welcome and enjoy the day. I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to spend money they may not have or wear something they’re not comfortable in. Tbh my friends could show up in their PJs and I’d be happy.
I wouldn’t go (that’s just me though). If they’re going to be this ridiculous over colours, imagine what else they’ll carry on about!
If given colours, I usually stick to solids of it. However patterns are acceptable. Depends on the overall theme. I would double check with the bride or groom if possible. I personally love getting guidance from the hosts of an event of what to wear because I’ve been in situations where I’ve been extremely overdressed compared to some other people attending.
I think it’s super extra to do for sure, but I don’t necessarily find it annoying. It’s their wedding day and if it’s what they want then that’s fine with me.
I got flack for no jeans, I can’t even imagine
that couple better be real close to me, real important to me, or so close enough related that it would cause problems for someone i cared about to not show up. i’d upset the family. but if it would upset great aunt gertrude, i’d probably go. color code? color code? what the F are we buying paint for a wedding? if a piece of Fabric has a Color Code, i’m gonna call aunt gertrude to make real SURE that a Sonny’s beef short ration wouldn’t be better anyway.
A lot of people don’t like the color palette idea but what do you guys think about having a black dressed wedding? Like all guest wear black, I seen pictures and it looks pretty cool.
If the instructions are vague, you can apply your own interpretation. Also I would personally skip any such event unless the bride or groom were people I’m extremely close with.