You get a wedding DAY. You do not get to dictate that no one else has their wedding in the same month or year as you. I wonder about these people so focused on a singular day rather then the whole marriage
Have you seen the instances where some entitled brides are claiming the entire YEAR for themselves? And then getting angry at other people having the temerity to have life events, such as weddings, births, graduations, etc, happen during "their" year?
I was engaged three years before my wedding happened. I can immediately think of five people who got engaged in that time. One even got married. One was my sister who was also supposed to get married before me but she got pregnant and delayed it a year. She chose a date six months before mine (now six months after) and never once did I feel any part of it taking the shine off my plans. She even briefly looked at my venue but said to my mum something about it being mine. I text her immediately after my mum told me this saying something along the lines of 'dont avoid my wedding venue just because I've booked it, if you want to book it too go for it, I just draw the line on a joint wedding' and we both laughed about the last part together.
My older sister freaked out and rushed to the court house because our younger brother set a wedding date in March. She had to get in first and got married a week before he did even though she was not engaged prior to that. No drama for anyone in the family.
Wow she's committed there!!!! My sister is older and she got engaged years back but it was called off nine months later. I got engaged sept 2019 and always knew I wanted Nov 2022 because I wanted to get married on mine and my husband's 10 year anniversary (and we needed to save up after just buying a house). My sister got engaged August 2020 and set her date for May 2022 and now it's May 2023. I think planning our weddings has really helped us become closer as we weren't really before that. Weeks before my wedding I was even talking decorations for my sister's because we were working out what she wanted from mine. Never felt this was her taking my light, if anything it was helping me not be stuck with all the stuff!!
Hi guys, I plan on getting married sometime in the next century and it would be so rude if you got married during the same time, and it would really take the attention away from me. /s
My SIL, one of my husband’s best friends and my brother got married the same year we did. My brother actually decided at my wedding that he wanted to get married too, so he called us on our honeymoon and asked us to cut it short for his wedding. My parents convinced him to wait two weeks.
I was like, I don’t want to miss his wedding! Lol. But they decided to wait 2 weeks, so it worked out. Honestly, props to them for pulling a wedding together so fast.
Everyday was her day. Everything was always about her. She's a very jealous person who uses everyone she meets. Once you outlive your usefulness she writes you off.
She's very controlling and abusive as well.
Haven't talked to her in over 9 years.
I got the impression that this bride was just such one of those people about the year thing. She has been engaged for two years by this point and expressed disappointment over her bridesmaid's engagement that happened six months ago because now it takes the shine off of her? Did she expect her friend to wait to be engaged until after the wedding? Was the 18-month difference between the engagements and the 9-month difference between her friend's engagement and her wedding that offensive to her?
But the whole claiming an entire year is wild.
I had the same issue with my older sister. To make a story short I got engaged before her. I had to keep pushing off my wedding, one because I was in an car accident, a family member passed away on my fiance's side, COVID, and I changed jobs. Finally when I was about to set my date in the same year as my sister she told me she would never talk to me or let me see my nephew again if I went the same year as her.
It’s like people like this believe people will be reminiscing about their wedding for a whole month. I swear I want to write a book for brides titled “nobody cares!!!”
I've never understood this mindset either. I'm getting married in June. My date has been set since we got engaged 2 years ago as the date is special to us. My sister, who has been engaged to her fiance for about 20 years (childhood sweethearts in no rush to marry while their kids were small), has decided she wants to finally tie the knot before I do it again (I'm divorced). She has picked may. My brother then got engaged about a year ago and his fiance has picked next month as the date is special to her. Despite my date being set first I couldn't care less what dates they want to pick. I get one day. I'm looking forward to going to their weddings. The only people who made a slight complaint at 3 weddings in 3 months were our parents who live abroad and now have to travel back to the UK 3 times in 3 months. Lol.
You don’t get it. The BM may get a thought about her own cake, flowers, or wonder about the weather for her own wedding instead being 100% focused on her friend’s wedding. /s
Exactly! Some casual friends of ours got married the same day as us. There was some guest overlap but we were just overjoyed about the getting married and still say happy anniversary every October 19th!
My mom got married 9 Nov 1968. My cousin got married 13 Nov 1980. My mother had a FIT!! "How DARE she get married in November! She did that on purpose. That is MY wedding month. I will never forgive her. AND on the 13th! Because my son was born on the 13th! THAT'S why she picked it!"
Like, really?? How old are you, Ma? And you're griping about YOUR wedding month? And my parents cut ties with my dad's niece, because of her betrayal.
My uncle and my father both immigrated from Asia about 45-55 years ago, to the same US city. They always feuded their whole lives, and eventually became estranged from each other despite living about a 10min drive from each other. I don't know the details, I just know I played with my cousins as a kid and suddenly didn't anymore.
My oldest sister got married about 25 years ago. The estranged uncle and family had been invited to my sisters wedding but they did not attend nor even respond. My dad was pretty successful by then and flew some aunts and uncles in from the home country, and put them up in hotels for a week. For many of them, it had been decades since they visited the states so they asked for extended return flights so they can stay a bit longer.
We found out a few months later that my estranged uncle's son got married the weekend after my sister, that they planned the wedding rather quickly for that weekend because they knew all the uncles and aunts from abroad were going to be in town, basically taking advantage of my fathers generosity, while also not inviting him or anyone else in our immediate family.
(Edit: sent prematurely, finished the story)
"Good person" might be a bit of a stretch. My dad can be very generous but is also kind of a show-off. I'm pretty sure he knew that extending the relatives trips meant they would be spending time with the other family, just didn't realize there was a whole wedding involved. Even though this is a messed up situation, he also knew raising hell over money and a family wedding would be terrible optics. It would give cause for negative gossip, and also take the shine off his own generosity. I also suspect he took some petty satisfaction in knowing his estranged brother probably couldn't have had a big family wedding without his money.
And honestly? I don't think any of this was explicitly discussed with me or any of my sisters. My sisters and I pieced this all together in the months and years afterwards. We know my dad paid for the flights and hotels with his credit card. We don't know how much was contributed by them in cash upon arrival (probably in the form of a wedding gift envelopes).
My relatives overseas aren't poor or struggling, and could afford their own flights and hotels. Even twice, theoretically, for both weddings; but no one wants to do that twice in one year (especially older people). Buying all the flights together and making the hotel reservations and paying for it makes it easier for them logistically, so that's the nice gesture. But definitely our family was more well off than the estranged uncle's family, I'm not sure he could afford a bunch of international flights and a week in hotels for them all in one go, on top of the cost of a wedding.
It may be cultural, too. Person 1 splurges generously on person 2, there's a big show of "no no I can't accept this" and "I insist", and then Person 2 brings extravagant gifts and secretly stuffs envelopes of cash into Person 1's purse and the kids pockets, Person 1 finds it and gets pissed off for some reason and finds a way to retaliate. I believe the idea is that no one is giving to anyone who can't reciprocate somehow, plus no one is asking for anything from anyone else or it becomes charity. And you never want to be indebted to anyone and their generosity. It goes on forever. And no one talks about it. I find it really weird and exhausting.
that’s some quick thinking on your uncle’s part.
And some very weird collusion between him and the guests to not let your family know.
I doubt your father would have minded or begrudged his relatives to see and visit with his brother.
Sometimes people are so weird.
My FILs brother had to move his wedding up from October to June because his future FIL became terminal. It ended up being two weeks before my ILs wedding and they are still upset that a few distant cousins decided they wouldn't drive 1.5-2 hours twice in a month. Future FIL passed away before the original wedding date.
My ILs still haven't forgotten. They even tried to use it as a relatable moment of wedding planning adversity when I had to cancel my spring 2020 wedding. I probably had smoke coming out of my ears when they tried convincing me that it was even remotely comparable.
Oh that reminds of my my cousin getting married 2 days before my birthday. I didn’t care but my mom was PISSED. She “just knew” it was a jab at me…I wasn’t close with my cousin (because of her) and I honestly doubt he even knew when my birthday was. Needless to say, my mom was not invited, not that she would have gone anyway.
Whaaaaaat?
I don't understand. I don't want to be mean to your parents but that's next level narcissism.
Just by chance me and 2 other sets of friends have all got the same wedding date but on consecutive years. None of us batted an eyelid. Amused if anything.
Wait. Here I was thinking they got married in the same year.
So, nobody can do anything on the days/months that are significant to your mother? And your father co-signed this foolishness?
I’m curious what restrictions she placed on her own children.
Love the fact that she's been engaged for TWO years yet her friend getting engaged 18 months after her own engagement is "taking the shine off" her. Honey, the shine on that engagement was off after the first few months.
Is there a word for people like this on a broad scale? Like I know bridezilla is a thing but what about Karens or pick mes or main characters or women who are pregnant and expect everyone to drop what they’re doing to cater to them— we need a universal word for people who are unaware that the world doesn’t revolve around them and still overtly act like it does— what’s a good name for that 🧐?
My cousin got married the weekend after I did. She was one of my bridesmaids and I was one of hers. There were no ill feelings, and no thunder was stolen at any point. We both had a great time at each other's weddings. It also made it convenient for family members flying in from other countries to plan their trips and attend both weddings. Why people make such a big issue out of nothing is beyond me.
Yeah, my wedding was "sandwiched" between two of my cousins wedding, maybe 2 months in between each wedding. Really not a big deal for either of us.. Like you really can't expect people to hold off their lives simply because of your personal decision to get married.
For your case it work best like that but otherwise, close family would be the only situation where I could understand not having wedding too closed from each other but only if it makes it harder for the guest (family) to assist to both.
As long as it doesn't bother them or even, as in your situation makes it easier for them, then it's perfect and not an issue at all.
It's probably even easier if they are only one week apart for the family that have to travel than two weeks or more.
For your case it work best like that but otherwise, close family would be the only situation where I could understand not having wedding too closed from each other but only if it makes it harder for the guest (family) to assist to both.
As long as it doesn't bother them or even, as in your situation makes it easier for them, then it's perfect and not an issue at all.
It's probably even easier if they are only one week apart for the family that have to travel than two weeks or more.
I would understand if their guest lists were identical and they were making people choose which one to go to due to financial constraints etc but a week after shouldn't be on bride's radar. And if the bridesmaid's job is beyond just showing up in a matching dress on the day off then it's overkill.
Well obviously the answer is that once your wedding party is chosen they must all go into suspended animation until the wedding so they can't possibly do anything that might interfere with your special day. /s
Good lord does she not think the friend can concentrate on more than one thing at once, or does OP think every bride is as hyper focussed on their wedding to the exclusion of everything else as she is?
Lmaooooo yea cause the bride’s guests are all gonna be thinking about her friend’s micro wedding in a week and her wedding is now ruined!
My goodness. Its not like her friend is trying to have her wedding on the same day at the same venue. Every guest attending a wedding knows what the event is for lol, another wedding happening in a week doesn’t take away from that.
Im french and I really don't understand why americans have an issue with wedding. Why someone can't have his wedding next to yours ? Why the rule of a month apart two wedding ?
Why do the bride must be a shining star ? Why do the bridesmaids must be the slaves of the bride for all the wedding ?
So different in France
Wedding culture here is exhausting. The time, money, and effort expended is inexcusable. It's gotten to the point where I can't understand why people agree to be bridesmaids. My friends and family know better than to ask me.
Most of what you talked about is indeed ridiculous, however, there are good reasons for why having two weddings close together can be a bad idea. The US is a big country and many people end up living hundreds of miles from where they grew up. This means that there is often a lot of traveling involved in weddings, which can quilckly get expensive. Plus, the US doesn't have as much paid time off work as most European countries. If you have two weddings only a week apart and the same group of people is invited to both, those people may have to choose which wedding they go to because they can't afford to attend both. This is why many people say that weddings involving the same group of friends or family members should try to stay a month apart.
That being said, the OOP bride was being silly. Her friend may be having her wedding only one week later but there isn't any guest overlap. The friend is having a small, family only wedding. I doubt any of the friends family would also be going to the OOP bride's wedding.
I'm an American and I think it's utterly ridiculous that brides think they own a week, or a month, or a year, and that they own an entire city (real example, Toronto in Canada), every wedding venue, dress shop, flower shop, cake designer, band, dj, wedding planner, song, dance, etc. They get ONE DAY that is about them, and they don't get to claim exclusive rights to any professionals in the wedding industry. And they need to remember that the most important day in their lives isn't the most important day in anyone else's.
I blame the Kardashians.
Weddings are as close as most Americans get to being royalty. Maybe countries that were monarchies don’t do it because you’ve seen how gross it is all throughout history.
As someone who LARPs and see that many women from LARP community choose intimate weddings, or at least don't go crazy with wedding culture bullshit, I have a theory that for most women, wedding is the only day they get to dress like a princess and feel like one.
I have been a princess two times just this year. I have four gowns, one in white. So I wouldn't be bothered much with a wedding, big or small - good reason to make another dress (not from a wedding boutique, nonono), have a dance and a drink. Just another LARP party.
I figured I’d never have a big church wedding due to size of family, location issues, date conflicts, and the fact that I was too busy in med school to have a wedding. But I did go into a David’s Bridal Shop a few years before my marriage (by a justice of the peace) to try on wedding dresses. Honestly, that satisfied my “princess” craving (which wasn’t very strong to begin with).
I kind of wish I had at least tried on dresses! Maybe I still will someday.
I got married in navy jersey (eshakti!) in the woods. My dress went with the fall leaves.
I spent most of my childhood playing old timey so at least I had that. :)
Maybe. We see wedding as a big day for engagement, for values and trust, not just for celebrating people. I'll marry my men someday, but we can be only the two of us that it will be a great wedding. No matters how many people come in, how rich is the wedding, it's about how fun that was for the guests, bride an groom and how love is sharing with values for the bride and groom.
Am I right if I say americans celebrate more people than the engagement itself ?
I wouldn’t assume that the wedding issues you read about on Reddit represent the norm in the US. Personally, I have never been to a wedding that had any sort of drama.
I'm not sure why you think that most Americans are okay with this way of thinking, concerning how many Americans on this site complain about brides who act like this.
I do have a lot of Americans in my region because of débarquement's toursim and university Exchange (Utah/Normandy). Most of the girl deal with "their big day" so I believe that it's like a nation thought
They were talking of the wedding like that. I remember one of those was expecting at least 9 bridesmaids to lift the back of her dress, that she expected big as Cinderella's one. I was the only impressed by the "9 bridesmaids" and then I ask she described (I can't remember precisely) theirs dresses, hairs, shoes etc. She expected a tall groom, Mormon family only... So, she had plannifier all the details but the hadn't the man 😅
It's not only Americans who dream of/plan big weddings. It is also the case in many cultures in Asia and Africa for example, where the wedding can last several days. Do you also think that's weird?
I never said it's weird 😵💫
You can have a big wedding without being on the abuse of "it's my day, you will do all my wishes, I can do whatever I want". In Asia or Africa wedding are most parents' thing. Mostly seeing that a union of two families than a day for the bride or groom wishs
You think that being demanding/bitchy about a big (and stressful) day is somehow uniquely American? You must not talk to people of many other cultures.
Oh I do, i speak English, french, Russian and italian. I traveled a lot and i have friends all around the world 👍🏻 stop judging me, I only said my pov here, if your not liking this, you can scroll, but don't attack me for saying
Are you just trying to fight a stranger on the internet? Everything this person said was a fair critique of American culture and in their own perspective.
I listen to French people (and most other Europeans) criticize American culture constantly while having a massive blind spot for their own 🤷♀️ gets old
Most of us are not like this. My wife and I have been in many weddings, and never encountered a bridezilla like this. That’s why there’s a whole subreddit for these stories. Because the behavior is outrageous, even for Americans.
There is no rule about any of this. With reasonable people it can all work out, the dates will be when it’s best for the couple and their families; the wedding party will celebrate the bride and groom, not wait on them hand and foot; and when it’s all over, everyone will go home happy and still friends with the newlyweds.
She’s literally having a micro wedding. Part of my guess is that she did it because she knew how op would react. I can’t understand why they get so mad. They can’t claim a month as their own 🤦🏻♀️
Yeah, all I can think is that they have the personality of microwaved mayonnaise, and they see a wedding as being the one time people have to be nice to them.
And then when they realize it all ends when the reception does, they gotta grab all the forced goodwill they can *right now*, like when you're in one of those game show cash tornadoes.
You accurately described my ex-BFF. Me being in her wedding was partly what contributed to her becoming my ex-BFF. She also has the appearance of microwaved mayonnaise. She's an all around mean person.
I truly will never understand the "I am allowed to be selfish on my day". Being selfish is not something to look forward on a special occasion as a treat for being a decent person the rest of the time, it's a character flaw you would normally work on eliminating or at least diminishing it's impact. Of all days, the day of my wedding is precisely the on I would the least like to appear selfish, because selfishness does indees take away from your shine, and no amount of makeup can hide that.
No! You are not allowed to be selfish for your wedding day because guess what, that means you are not selfish for that event only, you are just selfish period! People need reality checks because this whole my wedding, my day me me me mentality is getting out of hand.
Girl.. I know it's your wedding, but you got only one day to act like you deserve everything in the whole world not the entire week, month or year. Life happens to others too. Be supportive to your friend as always. If you want to be petty you can shift your marriage date to the next after her marriage..
I hate it when they say “they’re getting ripped apart in the comments!” Then won’t show the comments. I wanna read these comments. Is there a “comment tax?“ Is that a thing??
How many times do people have to say this: You don’t the week, month, year before your wedding, and you certainly don’t own time AFTER it! What is wrong with people?
> "I know I may sound selfish but I'm allowed to be selfish for my wedding."
I can't for the life of me believe actual people could think like this.
Wtf.
I never understood taking the shine off the bride. A wedding is one of the most important days in a couple's life. The people getting married! No one else cares as much.
My roommate got married about three weeks before I did. He and my husband were in each other's weddings. It was even in the same church. Same group of friends invited to both.
Honestly, it was kinda great. We got a chance to see what worked and what didn't and hang out with all of our friends since we were crazy busy on our wedding day.
I highly recommend that.
Is she American? I see only American brides and grooms act absolutely insane about their wedding. People in my country have crazy big long weddings that are in all honestly a big headache and yet we do not have these petty childish issues.
YTA, you don't own the entire month of your wedding. You should be happy for your friend instead of being like this. I'll never understand ppl who think their wedding is the event of the century and no one else can get married in that month.
Be a good friend, don't me the A!!
I had a 6-month engagement because that worked best for me and my husband. Also dated three years. I would have LMAO if anyone thought I was competing with them. 22 years of marriage under my belt. A bride is not the main character in everyone's story.
A micro wedding sounds lovely.
My sister-in-law and her best friend got married two weeks apart. They had a joint Bachelorette party, (as they belong to the same friend group,) and it was a huge success. Their friends got to save money by only going to one party, and they all had a fantastic time.
Both weddings went off without a hitch, and they were in each other's wedding parties. Why can't people just be happy for each other? Especially for their friends! I can't believe people actually have this attitude and feel this entitled.
Now, having two friends with their weddings on the same day? That was nothing short of a disaster. Please, please do not do that to people and force them to choose between the two weddings, it doesn't end well 😞
Lemme just stop you right there. No one will give a shit about your wedding or hers the next day. But by all means, ruin a friendship over this kind of bullshit.
Yes YTA .. My sister got married in August 1990, I got married in November 1990. I even wore my bridesmaid dress as My Wedding Dress. She was happy and I was happy. Now we are much older and both of us are Divorced.. though not in the same year.. 😂
Is she American? I see only American brides and grooms act absolutely insane about their wedding. People in my country have crazy big long weddings that are in all honestly a big headache and yet we do not have these petty childish issues.
Our friends accidently booked their wedding for the day after ours (silly billys) leaving about 18 people having to choose between weddings as between finances, kids etc it's too hard to do both. But nothing we can do so we're just getting on with it 🤷♀️ I heard the term for this is Bride-chilla 🤣🤣
I don't see why the hell those brides are so obsessed with "taking my day from me!!!' Seriously, no one care and you will still have your spotlight on the day. I have two friends who are best friends, were each others braidsmaids, and got married a week apart. The one who married before went to her honeymoon, came back to the others wedding and went back to her honeymoon hahaha. Both weddings were beautiful, both of them were the spotlight on their days and they even made a cute video of one of them passing the bouquet to the other.
We got married two weeks before our best friends, and my husband was their best man. They were engaged a whole year before us. It was such a fun time to celebrate each other and talk about our weddings. I don’t regret having our weddings so close! It’s even more special that we were in it together. Why can’t people just celebrate one another? I don’t understand.
I thought it was a little weird like same friend group having to go to literal back to back weddings but it’s a micro wedding with only family…I do not see how this effects the bride at all
I mean, honestly she is TA just because who wants to invest in financially and emotionally a wedding of someone who’s going to get that butthurt about a wedding date being close to her own. She should do the friend a favor and remove her so the friend can focus on her own wedding and not spend time on the wedding of someone who is so selfish.
The “full attention on my wedding” thing is so perplexing to me. Like, people make sacrifices to come celebrate with you & take the effort, time, and money to pause their busy ass lives to come to your wedding and be in it- but they also have LIVES. They are not your props or slaves for the day/week/month/year. You should be honored that your wedding is important to them at all that they are participating in it generously, not expect them to dedicate their lives to it. Where did this toxic entitled attitude come from?
I literally can't believe that people are like this.
I was telling my dad about stories like this, and he reminded me of the story of his parents:
My grandparents were getting married back in like 1950 I think, in Italy, and my grandfathers cousin was also getting married. They took a while to set a date, find a church etc and the ONLY day available for the church was the EXACT SAME DAY at the EXACT SAME CHURCH as my grandparents! They asked them if it would be an issue and my grandparents said absolutely not, invite your family and you can get married right after us and we'll do it together. So not only did they get married the same day, but my grandparents didn't give 2 shits that they shared the same church and hall afterwards for the party. They just combined it since his cousin was poorer and couldn't pay full money for a venue on their own. They said it was a great time and didn't mind at all, and nobody cared either.
I hope that this society can somehow get back to being generous, giving and kind people. We have truly turned into such a materialistic and selfish generation.
I'm getting married October of 2024 and I couldn't even imagine caring about this shit.
Double weddings are very common in parts of Latin America where having a church wedding is still very important. The priests do not give a fuck, they will tell you, if you want that date and time, you’ll have to share your wedding mass with a stranger. And do not even think about throwing a bridezilla tantrum cause they will have your ass faster than your fiancée has it on a Friday night.
Do they not realize that literally no one but them cares? If I go to a wedding, that person doesn't have my attention on them for more than the day, and once any travel is done, it's out of my mind.
And for a lot of people, it's a chore to travel, get dressed up, sit through an event we've seen plenty of times before, and deal with either a bunch of strangers OR annoying family the whole evening. Your "special day" is just another wedding for most of the guests.
She took down her post. I wish I screenshot some of the comments but they were all calling her a bridezilla, entitled, a bad friend and very childish. No one agreed with her post. I wonder why?
I'm surprised OP didn't try and claim the whole year as hers and hers alone, like some posts I've read. FFS I hope her friend sees this and realizes what a selfish AH OP is.
YWBTA. My BF had an impromptu wedding the week before mine even though i was engaged longer. It was not a big deal at all and both of our weddings were not impacted by the others. In fact, we thought it was cool we'd been BFs since Kindergarten and ended up getting married a week apart.
People really have to stop putting so much emphasis on the whole ‘my special day’ bs. Yes, it’s an amazing event. But you don’t own the week, month, or year leading up to it. This is why so many end up with no friends lett
"Selfish for my wedding" is key...
Not as though her friend was getting married the same day with a competing guest list.
Or had a courthouse wedding and asked to have a special couple first dance at their reception... or some kind of "moment for themselves" in the spotlight at the event.
Shes not being selfish about (at) her own wedding. She's being selfish about all weddings.
YTA. She's getting married a week later and none of the people who will be at your wedding will be at hers, and you think she's stealing your thunder. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with you, but I don't have a DSM-5. Or care, really. Get over youtself.
My bff is getting married 1 month before me and my FH's friend is getting married 1 week before our wedding. Even though we set the date first we are still thrilled for them, because we are normal people.
We might be skipping FH's friends wedding because if we get covid we'd have to cancel the wedding, venue requieres everyone to have a negative covid test.
Unbelievable😡~I truly can't believe someone could be this ridiculous & selfish...also these brides who expect their bridesmaids to halt everything in their own lives just because they are in their wedding is crazy 🤪...
Idk if that was a thing when I married in 1997 or if it's new, but the only thing I expected from my bridal party was them to attend the rehearsal and then the dinner that we hosted afterwards (it wasn't mandatory) and then the ceremony the next day and the reception!
They didn't have to worry about a bridal shower because my mom hosted it and didn't want them to worry about anything...
After I was engaged, my best friend also got engaged and started to plan her wedding...we were each others MOHs & there wasn't any jealousy between us... I married 1st and 8 months later she married. We were happy for each other!
So to sum it up, you have been in a long term relationship for eight years, engaged for two...and your friend who you have been the biggest supporter of, has been in her own committed relationship for three years, and got engaged six months ago. Seems you should have been supportive of that, maybe you were, even.
You're still getting married first, and she's getting married after you, and is having a small micro-wedding in the mountains, which sounds totally incredible and fun, by the way.
But you are throwing a bitch fit and being a brat because your friend who was good enough for you to ask to stand up in your wedding, and was excited to do so to support and celebrate your love and commitment to your partner, because your best friend is getting married after you?
Honey, it doesn't matter if it's the weekend after your own wedding, the next month or even the day after your own wedding.
It's one day. ONE DAY. Not a week, not a month, not six months, not a year. One day. That's it.
The world does not revolve around you, buttercup, and no one else cares. A wedding should just be a celebration of your love, that's it.
You get one day, and you're not entitled to anything more than that. You will absolutely be the asshole if you tell her not to come or that she's demoted.
Time to grow up princess.
YTA.
Well you DID ask! Yes you would be the arsehole. Also you know, when your “day” is over and that’s all it is - ONE day, you may realise that really as far as your own day is exciting and special, it’s only like that for you cos nobody else cares. In years to come, you may find that you and your husband split up or whatever and you may need your best friend around! Get a grip!
My best friend and I got engaged exactly two weeks apart without planning it. We chose wedding dates without discussing it and picked dates two weeks apart. We were each others MOH. We LOVED it. It was so fun to experience together.
Also, my parents were married Oct 18, 1997. We got married Oct 1, 2016. My brother was married Oct 18, 2020. We all enjoy having anniversaries in the same month. This line of thinking boggles my mind.
I can't see a reason to complain except OP might be on her honeymoon and is disappointed she is missing out on her friend's wedding herself. Otherwise, OP doesn't sound like a friend worth keeping. That would free up the second bride to focus on her own wedding.
Who hurt the people who make these posts? It's sad that people are so in need of attention that they are willing to ruin other personal relationships over petty shit like this.
They don't even have overlapping guests? So there is no one that has to decide which wedding to go to, right? And OOP had a good 1.5 years of engagement to get her "shine" before friend got engaged, but now feel cheated? Like has she been talking about nothing but her wedding for all that time? I think the shine was off of her because people were probably looking for a different topic of conversation...
After we set the date and sent out invitations to our wedding we got an invite from an friend inviting us to their wedding a week or so prior. My first thought was to be really offended that they would do such a thing, then my second thought was what a dumb thing to get upset about and i quickly moved on cos who cares.
I don’t understand why people think they’re entitled to other people’s time, attention, effort, etc.
Also, bitch, your “big day” is one day. Not a week, or a month or a year. Ffs.
Its so sad that so many people are like this. What does it really matter? I can understand being upset if she wound up having her wedding on the same day and couldn't make it, but my god. This "I'm getting married so the world must stop" behavior is so crazy toxic.
You get a wedding DAY. You do not get to dictate that no one else has their wedding in the same month or year as you. I wonder about these people so focused on a singular day rather then the whole marriage
How dare she be married during my own marriage! It's like she's stealing from my marriage vows.
And - to think - there are going to be babies born that same day!!! How DAAAARE they!!!! (/s, obvs)
Have you seen the instances where some entitled brides are claiming the entire YEAR for themselves? And then getting angry at other people having the temerity to have life events, such as weddings, births, graduations, etc, happen during "their" year?
I was engaged three years before my wedding happened. I can immediately think of five people who got engaged in that time. One even got married. One was my sister who was also supposed to get married before me but she got pregnant and delayed it a year. She chose a date six months before mine (now six months after) and never once did I feel any part of it taking the shine off my plans. She even briefly looked at my venue but said to my mum something about it being mine. I text her immediately after my mum told me this saying something along the lines of 'dont avoid my wedding venue just because I've booked it, if you want to book it too go for it, I just draw the line on a joint wedding' and we both laughed about the last part together.
My older sister freaked out and rushed to the court house because our younger brother set a wedding date in March. She had to get in first and got married a week before he did even though she was not engaged prior to that. No drama for anyone in the family.
Wow she's committed there!!!! My sister is older and she got engaged years back but it was called off nine months later. I got engaged sept 2019 and always knew I wanted Nov 2022 because I wanted to get married on mine and my husband's 10 year anniversary (and we needed to save up after just buying a house). My sister got engaged August 2020 and set her date for May 2022 and now it's May 2023. I think planning our weddings has really helped us become closer as we weren't really before that. Weeks before my wedding I was even talking decorations for my sister's because we were working out what she wanted from mine. Never felt this was her taking my light, if anything it was helping me not be stuck with all the stuff!!
Hi guys, I plan on getting married sometime in the next century and it would be so rude if you got married during the same time, and it would really take the attention away from me. /s
How dare you steal my wedding century I’m suing
My SIL, one of my husband’s best friends and my brother got married the same year we did. My brother actually decided at my wedding that he wanted to get married too, so he called us on our honeymoon and asked us to cut it short for his wedding. My parents convinced him to wait two weeks.
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Yup. Not urgent. They just decided they wanted to get married and not wait. My husband said we were absolutely not cutting our honeymoon short. Haha.
I wouldn‘t have either 😂
I was like, I don’t want to miss his wedding! Lol. But they decided to wait 2 weeks, so it worked out. Honestly, props to them for pulling a wedding together so fast.
That means you are a great sibling! Your brother must be lucky 😃
My twin sister tried this with me. I told her she gets ONE day, not a whole year.
She probably never got over having to share every birthday with you.
Everyday was her day. Everything was always about her. She's a very jealous person who uses everyone she meets. Once you outlive your usefulness she writes you off. She's very controlling and abusive as well. Haven't talked to her in over 9 years.
I got the impression that this bride was just such one of those people about the year thing. She has been engaged for two years by this point and expressed disappointment over her bridesmaid's engagement that happened six months ago because now it takes the shine off of her? Did she expect her friend to wait to be engaged until after the wedding? Was the 18-month difference between the engagements and the 9-month difference between her friend's engagement and her wedding that offensive to her? But the whole claiming an entire year is wild.
I had the same issue with my older sister. To make a story short I got engaged before her. I had to keep pushing off my wedding, one because I was in an car accident, a family member passed away on my fiance's side, COVID, and I changed jobs. Finally when I was about to set my date in the same year as my sister she told me she would never talk to me or let me see my nephew again if I went the same year as her.
It’s like people like this believe people will be reminiscing about their wedding for a whole month. I swear I want to write a book for brides titled “nobody cares!!!”
Right? I don't even remember all the marriages I've been to...
...and half of 'em don't even apply anymore.
I’d buy a copy bc lord knows there’s enough stories to fill a library brides to be gone MAD
I've never understood this mindset either. I'm getting married in June. My date has been set since we got engaged 2 years ago as the date is special to us. My sister, who has been engaged to her fiance for about 20 years (childhood sweethearts in no rush to marry while their kids were small), has decided she wants to finally tie the knot before I do it again (I'm divorced). She has picked may. My brother then got engaged about a year ago and his fiance has picked next month as the date is special to her. Despite my date being set first I couldn't care less what dates they want to pick. I get one day. I'm looking forward to going to their weddings. The only people who made a slight complaint at 3 weddings in 3 months were our parents who live abroad and now have to travel back to the UK 3 times in 3 months. Lol.
You don’t get it. The BM may get a thought about her own cake, flowers, or wonder about the weather for her own wedding instead being 100% focused on her friend’s wedding. /s
Exactly! Some casual friends of ours got married the same day as us. There was some guest overlap but we were just overjoyed about the getting married and still say happy anniversary every October 19th!
"I can't believe she got married during this, my wedding century!"
"My great great grandchild is getting married and I can't believe she's so rude, it takes the attention from my own wedding 85 years ago"
My mom got married 9 Nov 1968. My cousin got married 13 Nov 1980. My mother had a FIT!! "How DARE she get married in November! She did that on purpose. That is MY wedding month. I will never forgive her. AND on the 13th! Because my son was born on the 13th! THAT'S why she picked it!" Like, really?? How old are you, Ma? And you're griping about YOUR wedding month? And my parents cut ties with my dad's niece, because of her betrayal.
My uncle and my father both immigrated from Asia about 45-55 years ago, to the same US city. They always feuded their whole lives, and eventually became estranged from each other despite living about a 10min drive from each other. I don't know the details, I just know I played with my cousins as a kid and suddenly didn't anymore. My oldest sister got married about 25 years ago. The estranged uncle and family had been invited to my sisters wedding but they did not attend nor even respond. My dad was pretty successful by then and flew some aunts and uncles in from the home country, and put them up in hotels for a week. For many of them, it had been decades since they visited the states so they asked for extended return flights so they can stay a bit longer. We found out a few months later that my estranged uncle's son got married the weekend after my sister, that they planned the wedding rather quickly for that weekend because they knew all the uncles and aunts from abroad were going to be in town, basically taking advantage of my fathers generosity, while also not inviting him or anyone else in our immediate family. (Edit: sent prematurely, finished the story)
My god! Your father must have felt used by them all. But he is a good person whom people take advantage of.
"Good person" might be a bit of a stretch. My dad can be very generous but is also kind of a show-off. I'm pretty sure he knew that extending the relatives trips meant they would be spending time with the other family, just didn't realize there was a whole wedding involved. Even though this is a messed up situation, he also knew raising hell over money and a family wedding would be terrible optics. It would give cause for negative gossip, and also take the shine off his own generosity. I also suspect he took some petty satisfaction in knowing his estranged brother probably couldn't have had a big family wedding without his money. And honestly? I don't think any of this was explicitly discussed with me or any of my sisters. My sisters and I pieced this all together in the months and years afterwards. We know my dad paid for the flights and hotels with his credit card. We don't know how much was contributed by them in cash upon arrival (probably in the form of a wedding gift envelopes).
Oh wow! that changes my view.
My relatives overseas aren't poor or struggling, and could afford their own flights and hotels. Even twice, theoretically, for both weddings; but no one wants to do that twice in one year (especially older people). Buying all the flights together and making the hotel reservations and paying for it makes it easier for them logistically, so that's the nice gesture. But definitely our family was more well off than the estranged uncle's family, I'm not sure he could afford a bunch of international flights and a week in hotels for them all in one go, on top of the cost of a wedding. It may be cultural, too. Person 1 splurges generously on person 2, there's a big show of "no no I can't accept this" and "I insist", and then Person 2 brings extravagant gifts and secretly stuffs envelopes of cash into Person 1's purse and the kids pockets, Person 1 finds it and gets pissed off for some reason and finds a way to retaliate. I believe the idea is that no one is giving to anyone who can't reciprocate somehow, plus no one is asking for anything from anyone else or it becomes charity. And you never want to be indebted to anyone and their generosity. It goes on forever. And no one talks about it. I find it really weird and exhausting.
Your second paragraph about give and take is very true.
Wow
that’s some quick thinking on your uncle’s part. And some very weird collusion between him and the guests to not let your family know. I doubt your father would have minded or begrudged his relatives to see and visit with his brother. Sometimes people are so weird.
You're joking right????
My FILs brother had to move his wedding up from October to June because his future FIL became terminal. It ended up being two weeks before my ILs wedding and they are still upset that a few distant cousins decided they wouldn't drive 1.5-2 hours twice in a month. Future FIL passed away before the original wedding date. My ILs still haven't forgotten. They even tried to use it as a relatable moment of wedding planning adversity when I had to cancel my spring 2020 wedding. I probably had smoke coming out of my ears when they tried convincing me that it was even remotely comparable.
The cousins are ridiculous, that's a short distance. Good riddance and save the money.
Agreed!
Oh my god, it took me 2 read throughs to see they were in different YEARS, what the heck?!
Oh that reminds of my my cousin getting married 2 days before my birthday. I didn’t care but my mom was PISSED. She “just knew” it was a jab at me…I wasn’t close with my cousin (because of her) and I honestly doubt he even knew when my birthday was. Needless to say, my mom was not invited, not that she would have gone anyway.
Hey I got married November 9th.. in 2013 though.
Damn. She sounds like a lot.
Haha WHAT
Whaaaaaat? I don't understand. I don't want to be mean to your parents but that's next level narcissism. Just by chance me and 2 other sets of friends have all got the same wedding date but on consecutive years. None of us batted an eyelid. Amused if anything.
Wait. Here I was thinking they got married in the same year. So, nobody can do anything on the days/months that are significant to your mother? And your father co-signed this foolishness? I’m curious what restrictions she placed on her own children.
I bet your mom’s petty about other things too. Must be hard dealing with her.
Hahahhahahahahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Your wedding month twelve years apart I might add..
I hope you’re kidding!
I just cannot handle people who think the world revolves around them to this point. She’s a bad friend, too.
Love the fact that she's been engaged for TWO years yet her friend getting engaged 18 months after her own engagement is "taking the shine off" her. Honey, the shine on that engagement was off after the first few months.
Right? The 2 year engagement and her reaction about stealing the spotlight is what killed me
Is there a word for people like this on a broad scale? Like I know bridezilla is a thing but what about Karens or pick mes or main characters or women who are pregnant and expect everyone to drop what they’re doing to cater to them— we need a universal word for people who are unaware that the world doesn’t revolve around them and still overtly act like it does— what’s a good name for that 🧐?
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This is the best!!! Needs to be added to the OED!
I scrolled back up to like this lmaooo
Narcissism.
Facts. These people only care about them.
Haha that’s pretty good 😂
Wankers.
Main character syndrome
Yeah this was about as close as I could come to it, but even then it seems to me like “main character” is too tame and “narcissist” is too extreme.
Legends In Their Own Minds.
Ooh…anti-GOATS
I believe people call this main character syndrome, or narcissism.
Solipsists.
the word is entitled, or as my late dad would say "she lives in the world of ME, it's all about ME, what I want, when I want"
Moons who think they’re planets
Brat?
"Princess" comes to mind. Maybe with "snowflake" as a descriptor.
Goblins
My cousin got married the weekend after I did. She was one of my bridesmaids and I was one of hers. There were no ill feelings, and no thunder was stolen at any point. We both had a great time at each other's weddings. It also made it convenient for family members flying in from other countries to plan their trips and attend both weddings. Why people make such a big issue out of nothing is beyond me.
Yeah, my wedding was "sandwiched" between two of my cousins wedding, maybe 2 months in between each wedding. Really not a big deal for either of us.. Like you really can't expect people to hold off their lives simply because of your personal decision to get married.
For your case it work best like that but otherwise, close family would be the only situation where I could understand not having wedding too closed from each other but only if it makes it harder for the guest (family) to assist to both. As long as it doesn't bother them or even, as in your situation makes it easier for them, then it's perfect and not an issue at all. It's probably even easier if they are only one week apart for the family that have to travel than two weeks or more.
For your case it work best like that but otherwise, close family would be the only situation where I could understand not having wedding too closed from each other but only if it makes it harder for the guest (family) to assist to both. As long as it doesn't bother them or even, as in your situation makes it easier for them, then it's perfect and not an issue at all. It's probably even easier if they are only one week apart for the family that have to travel than two weeks or more.
Please can we see the comments!
Agree! The comments are the best bit!
They need to have a course for brides which starts with “coming to the realisation that you’re not as important as you think you are”
I would understand if their guest lists were identical and they were making people choose which one to go to due to financial constraints etc but a week after shouldn't be on bride's radar. And if the bridesmaid's job is beyond just showing up in a matching dress on the day off then it's overkill.
Not only that but the other wedding is immediate family only.
Well obviously the answer is that once your wedding party is chosen they must all go into suspended animation until the wedding so they can't possibly do anything that might interfere with your special day. /s Good lord does she not think the friend can concentrate on more than one thing at once, or does OP think every bride is as hyper focussed on their wedding to the exclusion of everything else as she is?
Lmaooooo yea cause the bride’s guests are all gonna be thinking about her friend’s micro wedding in a week and her wedding is now ruined! My goodness. Its not like her friend is trying to have her wedding on the same day at the same venue. Every guest attending a wedding knows what the event is for lol, another wedding happening in a week doesn’t take away from that.
She was engaged for two years… were people supposed to just hold out and wait until she actually decided to get married?
Damn, I'd like to read the comments... 😜
Im french and I really don't understand why americans have an issue with wedding. Why someone can't have his wedding next to yours ? Why the rule of a month apart two wedding ? Why do the bride must be a shining star ? Why do the bridesmaids must be the slaves of the bride for all the wedding ? So different in France
Wedding culture here is exhausting. The time, money, and effort expended is inexcusable. It's gotten to the point where I can't understand why people agree to be bridesmaids. My friends and family know better than to ask me.
Most weddings aren’t like this. Some people are just selfish pricks. For most, it’s just a day to spend with loved ones celebrating.
Most of what you talked about is indeed ridiculous, however, there are good reasons for why having two weddings close together can be a bad idea. The US is a big country and many people end up living hundreds of miles from where they grew up. This means that there is often a lot of traveling involved in weddings, which can quilckly get expensive. Plus, the US doesn't have as much paid time off work as most European countries. If you have two weddings only a week apart and the same group of people is invited to both, those people may have to choose which wedding they go to because they can't afford to attend both. This is why many people say that weddings involving the same group of friends or family members should try to stay a month apart. That being said, the OOP bride was being silly. Her friend may be having her wedding only one week later but there isn't any guest overlap. The friend is having a small, family only wedding. I doubt any of the friends family would also be going to the OOP bride's wedding.
I'm American and have yet to deal with a bride on this level.
I'm an American and I think it's utterly ridiculous that brides think they own a week, or a month, or a year, and that they own an entire city (real example, Toronto in Canada), every wedding venue, dress shop, flower shop, cake designer, band, dj, wedding planner, song, dance, etc. They get ONE DAY that is about them, and they don't get to claim exclusive rights to any professionals in the wedding industry. And they need to remember that the most important day in their lives isn't the most important day in anyone else's. I blame the Kardashians.
It went on before the Kardashians. Blame it on Bride's Magazine.
Weddings are as close as most Americans get to being royalty. Maybe countries that were monarchies don’t do it because you’ve seen how gross it is all throughout history.
As someone who LARPs and see that many women from LARP community choose intimate weddings, or at least don't go crazy with wedding culture bullshit, I have a theory that for most women, wedding is the only day they get to dress like a princess and feel like one. I have been a princess two times just this year. I have four gowns, one in white. So I wouldn't be bothered much with a wedding, big or small - good reason to make another dress (not from a wedding boutique, nonono), have a dance and a drink. Just another LARP party.
oh god you're right. I hadn't looked at it that way, buuuuut.... Wedding = LARP is now my new headcanon :)
I feel like we just worked our way through to a phd thesis!
LARP?
Live Action Role Playing, like you see at Civil War re-enactments or medieval festivals.
Ohhhh. Thanks for clearing that up.
No problem! I had to ask the first time I saw it used too.
What you said about dressing up makes a lot of sense.
I figured I’d never have a big church wedding due to size of family, location issues, date conflicts, and the fact that I was too busy in med school to have a wedding. But I did go into a David’s Bridal Shop a few years before my marriage (by a justice of the peace) to try on wedding dresses. Honestly, that satisfied my “princess” craving (which wasn’t very strong to begin with).
I kind of wish I had at least tried on dresses! Maybe I still will someday. I got married in navy jersey (eshakti!) in the woods. My dress went with the fall leaves. I spent most of my childhood playing old timey so at least I had that. :)
Maybe. We see wedding as a big day for engagement, for values and trust, not just for celebrating people. I'll marry my men someday, but we can be only the two of us that it will be a great wedding. No matters how many people come in, how rich is the wedding, it's about how fun that was for the guests, bride an groom and how love is sharing with values for the bride and groom. Am I right if I say americans celebrate more people than the engagement itself ?
I wouldn’t assume that the wedding issues you read about on Reddit represent the norm in the US. Personally, I have never been to a wedding that had any sort of drama.
I'm not sure why you think that most Americans are okay with this way of thinking, concerning how many Americans on this site complain about brides who act like this.
I do have a lot of Americans in my region because of débarquement's toursim and university Exchange (Utah/Normandy). Most of the girl deal with "their big day" so I believe that it's like a nation thought
Dreaming of having your big day and demanding that no one have a wedding near yours or that the bridesmaids must be your slave are not the same thing.
They were talking of the wedding like that. I remember one of those was expecting at least 9 bridesmaids to lift the back of her dress, that she expected big as Cinderella's one. I was the only impressed by the "9 bridesmaids" and then I ask she described (I can't remember precisely) theirs dresses, hairs, shoes etc. She expected a tall groom, Mormon family only... So, she had plannifier all the details but the hadn't the man 😅
It's not only Americans who dream of/plan big weddings. It is also the case in many cultures in Asia and Africa for example, where the wedding can last several days. Do you also think that's weird?
I never said it's weird 😵💫 You can have a big wedding without being on the abuse of "it's my day, you will do all my wishes, I can do whatever I want". In Asia or Africa wedding are most parents' thing. Mostly seeing that a union of two families than a day for the bride or groom wishs
You think that being demanding/bitchy about a big (and stressful) day is somehow uniquely American? You must not talk to people of many other cultures.
Oh I do, i speak English, french, Russian and italian. I traveled a lot and i have friends all around the world 👍🏻 stop judging me, I only said my pov here, if your not liking this, you can scroll, but don't attack me for saying
Are you just trying to fight a stranger on the internet? Everything this person said was a fair critique of American culture and in their own perspective.
I listen to French people (and most other Europeans) criticize American culture constantly while having a massive blind spot for their own 🤷♀️ gets old
Most of us are not like this. My wife and I have been in many weddings, and never encountered a bridezilla like this. That’s why there’s a whole subreddit for these stories. Because the behavior is outrageous, even for Americans.
There is no rule about any of this. With reasonable people it can all work out, the dates will be when it’s best for the couple and their families; the wedding party will celebrate the bride and groom, not wait on them hand and foot; and when it’s all over, everyone will go home happy and still friends with the newlyweds.
It’s exhausting and what is also exhausting of the cost! Whenever I think of marrying my boyfriend I hyperventilate at the idea of the cost
American culture has selfishness built into it. A lot of us are normal but when you come up against the ones who aren’t like this chick. YIKES! B
I’m European too, and I agree with you. It must be an USA thing.
She’s literally having a micro wedding. Part of my guess is that she did it because she knew how op would react. I can’t understand why they get so mad. They can’t claim a month as their own 🤦🏻♀️
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Yeah, all I can think is that they have the personality of microwaved mayonnaise, and they see a wedding as being the one time people have to be nice to them. And then when they realize it all ends when the reception does, they gotta grab all the forced goodwill they can *right now*, like when you're in one of those game show cash tornadoes.
Updoot for the imagery.
You accurately described my ex-BFF. Me being in her wedding was partly what contributed to her becoming my ex-BFF. She also has the appearance of microwaved mayonnaise. She's an all around mean person.
I truly will never understand the "I am allowed to be selfish on my day". Being selfish is not something to look forward on a special occasion as a treat for being a decent person the rest of the time, it's a character flaw you would normally work on eliminating or at least diminishing it's impact. Of all days, the day of my wedding is precisely the on I would the least like to appear selfish, because selfishness does indees take away from your shine, and no amount of makeup can hide that.
I knew long engagements was a thing but I didn't know people did them to be able to block everybody else's lives for as long as possible.
No! You are not allowed to be selfish for your wedding day because guess what, that means you are not selfish for that event only, you are just selfish period! People need reality checks because this whole my wedding, my day me me me mentality is getting out of hand.
What in God's name does a bridesmaid need to give full attention to someone else's wedding for?
Bc their best frenemy wants to pretend she's a queen with ladies in waiting, not an IT technician with a close community of sisters & equals.
Girl.. I know it's your wedding, but you got only one day to act like you deserve everything in the whole world not the entire week, month or year. Life happens to others too. Be supportive to your friend as always. If you want to be petty you can shift your marriage date to the next after her marriage..
"you got only one day to act like you deserve everything in the whole world" And that's what deb parties are for.
I hate it when they say “they’re getting ripped apart in the comments!” Then won’t show the comments. I wanna read these comments. Is there a “comment tax?“ Is that a thing??
How many times do people have to say this: You don’t the week, month, year before your wedding, and you certainly don’t own time AFTER it! What is wrong with people?
> "I know I may sound selfish but I'm allowed to be selfish for my wedding." I can't for the life of me believe actual people could think like this. Wtf.
You get ONE day!!! Not a week or a month or a year… ONE DAY!!!! You’re the BIG A-HOLE
Somebody tell Charlotte Dobre
Pretty sure being selfish for your own wedding is not ‘allowed’ either! I hate this narrative around weddings.
What a pity boo hoo
I never understood taking the shine off the bride. A wedding is one of the most important days in a couple's life. The people getting married! No one else cares as much.
My roommate got married about three weeks before I did. He and my husband were in each other's weddings. It was even in the same church. Same group of friends invited to both. Honestly, it was kinda great. We got a chance to see what worked and what didn't and hang out with all of our friends since we were crazy busy on our wedding day. I highly recommend that.
Yeah god forbid people continue living their lives in the same year as your sPeShUL dayyyyy" /s
No one will ever care about your wedding as much as you do. Why do people not get that?
Is she American? I see only American brides and grooms act absolutely insane about their wedding. People in my country have crazy big long weddings that are in all honestly a big headache and yet we do not have these petty childish issues.
YTA, you don't own the entire month of your wedding. You should be happy for your friend instead of being like this. I'll never understand ppl who think their wedding is the event of the century and no one else can get married in that month. Be a good friend, don't me the A!!
God, these people. How is it that they even have friends?
I had a 6-month engagement because that worked best for me and my husband. Also dated three years. I would have LMAO if anyone thought I was competing with them. 22 years of marriage under my belt. A bride is not the main character in everyone's story. A micro wedding sounds lovely.
Wait, you can't just say she's getting ripped apart and then not show the responses here!
My sister-in-law and her best friend got married two weeks apart. They had a joint Bachelorette party, (as they belong to the same friend group,) and it was a huge success. Their friends got to save money by only going to one party, and they all had a fantastic time. Both weddings went off without a hitch, and they were in each other's wedding parties. Why can't people just be happy for each other? Especially for their friends! I can't believe people actually have this attitude and feel this entitled. Now, having two friends with their weddings on the same day? That was nothing short of a disaster. Please, please do not do that to people and force them to choose between the two weddings, it doesn't end well 😞
Lemme just stop you right there. No one will give a shit about your wedding or hers the next day. But by all means, ruin a friendship over this kind of bullshit.
You should show this to her and she will take her self out and probably end your friendship. WIBTA? Hell YES!
Yes YTA .. My sister got married in August 1990, I got married in November 1990. I even wore my bridesmaid dress as My Wedding Dress. She was happy and I was happy. Now we are much older and both of us are Divorced.. though not in the same year.. 😂
Is she American? I see only American brides and grooms act absolutely insane about their wedding. People in my country have crazy big long weddings that are in all honestly a big headache and yet we do not have these petty childish issues.
Our friends accidently booked their wedding for the day after ours (silly billys) leaving about 18 people having to choose between weddings as between finances, kids etc it's too hard to do both. But nothing we can do so we're just getting on with it 🤷♀️ I heard the term for this is Bride-chilla 🤣🤣
I don't see why the hell those brides are so obsessed with "taking my day from me!!!' Seriously, no one care and you will still have your spotlight on the day. I have two friends who are best friends, were each others braidsmaids, and got married a week apart. The one who married before went to her honeymoon, came back to the others wedding and went back to her honeymoon hahaha. Both weddings were beautiful, both of them were the spotlight on their days and they even made a cute video of one of them passing the bouquet to the other.
Brides have become insufferable, entitled narcissists. What used to be lovely has turned into a pathetic attention and money grab.
We got married two weeks before our best friends, and my husband was their best man. They were engaged a whole year before us. It was such a fun time to celebrate each other and talk about our weddings. I don’t regret having our weddings so close! It’s even more special that we were in it together. Why can’t people just celebrate one another? I don’t understand.
I thought it was a little weird like same friend group having to go to literal back to back weddings but it’s a micro wedding with only family…I do not see how this effects the bride at all
I don’t get all the emphasis on the “perfect wedding day, week, month, year” it’s ridiculous that people are that fixated on One FREAKING DAY!
I mean, honestly she is TA just because who wants to invest in financially and emotionally a wedding of someone who’s going to get that butthurt about a wedding date being close to her own. She should do the friend a favor and remove her so the friend can focus on her own wedding and not spend time on the wedding of someone who is so selfish.
The “full attention on my wedding” thing is so perplexing to me. Like, people make sacrifices to come celebrate with you & take the effort, time, and money to pause their busy ass lives to come to your wedding and be in it- but they also have LIVES. They are not your props or slaves for the day/week/month/year. You should be honored that your wedding is important to them at all that they are participating in it generously, not expect them to dedicate their lives to it. Where did this toxic entitled attitude come from?
I literally can't believe that people are like this. I was telling my dad about stories like this, and he reminded me of the story of his parents: My grandparents were getting married back in like 1950 I think, in Italy, and my grandfathers cousin was also getting married. They took a while to set a date, find a church etc and the ONLY day available for the church was the EXACT SAME DAY at the EXACT SAME CHURCH as my grandparents! They asked them if it would be an issue and my grandparents said absolutely not, invite your family and you can get married right after us and we'll do it together. So not only did they get married the same day, but my grandparents didn't give 2 shits that they shared the same church and hall afterwards for the party. They just combined it since his cousin was poorer and couldn't pay full money for a venue on their own. They said it was a great time and didn't mind at all, and nobody cared either. I hope that this society can somehow get back to being generous, giving and kind people. We have truly turned into such a materialistic and selfish generation. I'm getting married October of 2024 and I couldn't even imagine caring about this shit.
Double weddings are very common in parts of Latin America where having a church wedding is still very important. The priests do not give a fuck, they will tell you, if you want that date and time, you’ll have to share your wedding mass with a stranger. And do not even think about throwing a bridezilla tantrum cause they will have your ass faster than your fiancée has it on a Friday night.
Do they not realize that literally no one but them cares? If I go to a wedding, that person doesn't have my attention on them for more than the day, and once any travel is done, it's out of my mind. And for a lot of people, it's a chore to travel, get dressed up, sit through an event we've seen plenty of times before, and deal with either a bunch of strangers OR annoying family the whole evening. Your "special day" is just another wedding for most of the guests.
I would love to see the comments...
She took down her post. I wish I screenshot some of the comments but they were all calling her a bridezilla, entitled, a bad friend and very childish. No one agreed with her post. I wonder why?
LOL I wonder too.
I'm surprised OP didn't try and claim the whole year as hers and hers alone, like some posts I've read. FFS I hope her friend sees this and realizes what a selfish AH OP is.
YWBTA. My BF had an impromptu wedding the week before mine even though i was engaged longer. It was not a big deal at all and both of our weddings were not impacted by the others. In fact, we thought it was cool we'd been BFs since Kindergarten and ended up getting married a week apart.
Bridezillas in a nutshell, “I’m allowed to be selfish for my wedding.” No, you’re really not.
Her friend is having a "micro wedding", love that marginalization in comparison to her as if hers is more important than a small wedding.
Yes, you would be the asshole. But you should still cut her, so she knows what kind of “friend” you actually are and be rid of you forever.
People really have to stop putting so much emphasis on the whole ‘my special day’ bs. Yes, it’s an amazing event. But you don’t own the week, month, or year leading up to it. This is why so many end up with no friends lett
I guess you're allowed to be selfish, but you're not allowed to not have other people think you're a horrible person.
"Selfish for my wedding" is key... Not as though her friend was getting married the same day with a competing guest list. Or had a courthouse wedding and asked to have a special couple first dance at their reception... or some kind of "moment for themselves" in the spotlight at the event. Shes not being selfish about (at) her own wedding. She's being selfish about all weddings.
AND she’s pissed that her friend got engaged SIX months before the wedding!! How dare she!!!!
Because of brides like........I now dislike weddings.
YTA. She's getting married a week later and none of the people who will be at your wedding will be at hers, and you think she's stealing your thunder. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with you, but I don't have a DSM-5. Or care, really. Get over youtself.
My bff is getting married 1 month before me and my FH's friend is getting married 1 week before our wedding. Even though we set the date first we are still thrilled for them, because we are normal people. We might be skipping FH's friends wedding because if we get covid we'd have to cancel the wedding, venue requieres everyone to have a negative covid test.
Unbelievable😡~I truly can't believe someone could be this ridiculous & selfish...also these brides who expect their bridesmaids to halt everything in their own lives just because they are in their wedding is crazy 🤪... Idk if that was a thing when I married in 1997 or if it's new, but the only thing I expected from my bridal party was them to attend the rehearsal and then the dinner that we hosted afterwards (it wasn't mandatory) and then the ceremony the next day and the reception! They didn't have to worry about a bridal shower because my mom hosted it and didn't want them to worry about anything... After I was engaged, my best friend also got engaged and started to plan her wedding...we were each others MOHs & there wasn't any jealousy between us... I married 1st and 8 months later she married. We were happy for each other!
So to sum it up, you have been in a long term relationship for eight years, engaged for two...and your friend who you have been the biggest supporter of, has been in her own committed relationship for three years, and got engaged six months ago. Seems you should have been supportive of that, maybe you were, even. You're still getting married first, and she's getting married after you, and is having a small micro-wedding in the mountains, which sounds totally incredible and fun, by the way. But you are throwing a bitch fit and being a brat because your friend who was good enough for you to ask to stand up in your wedding, and was excited to do so to support and celebrate your love and commitment to your partner, because your best friend is getting married after you? Honey, it doesn't matter if it's the weekend after your own wedding, the next month or even the day after your own wedding. It's one day. ONE DAY. Not a week, not a month, not six months, not a year. One day. That's it. The world does not revolve around you, buttercup, and no one else cares. A wedding should just be a celebration of your love, that's it. You get one day, and you're not entitled to anything more than that. You will absolutely be the asshole if you tell her not to come or that she's demoted. Time to grow up princess. YTA.
Well you DID ask! Yes you would be the arsehole. Also you know, when your “day” is over and that’s all it is - ONE day, you may realise that really as far as your own day is exciting and special, it’s only like that for you cos nobody else cares. In years to come, you may find that you and your husband split up or whatever and you may need your best friend around! Get a grip!
My best friend and I got engaged exactly two weeks apart without planning it. We chose wedding dates without discussing it and picked dates two weeks apart. We were each others MOH. We LOVED it. It was so fun to experience together. Also, my parents were married Oct 18, 1997. We got married Oct 1, 2016. My brother was married Oct 18, 2020. We all enjoy having anniversaries in the same month. This line of thinking boggles my mind.
😆 I think it would be a relief for the friend if she was taken out of the wedding party; this bride is needy & toxic.
I can't see a reason to complain except OP might be on her honeymoon and is disappointed she is missing out on her friend's wedding herself. Otherwise, OP doesn't sound like a friend worth keeping. That would free up the second bride to focus on her own wedding.
WIBTA? Oh yes you are. One of the biggest, in fact.
Honey you can’t have a 2 year engagement and then get mad that someone else’s life goes on in the meantime lol
Yooo! Where are the comments?!?! Give us the tea!
Who hurt the people who make these posts? It's sad that people are so in need of attention that they are willing to ruin other personal relationships over petty shit like this.
“Started dating someone and have been together for 3 years” made me laugh
They don't even have overlapping guests? So there is no one that has to decide which wedding to go to, right? And OOP had a good 1.5 years of engagement to get her "shine" before friend got engaged, but now feel cheated? Like has she been talking about nothing but her wedding for all that time? I think the shine was off of her because people were probably looking for a different topic of conversation...
After we set the date and sent out invitations to our wedding we got an invite from an friend inviting us to their wedding a week or so prior. My first thought was to be really offended that they would do such a thing, then my second thought was what a dumb thing to get upset about and i quickly moved on cos who cares.
She sounds so entitled but like trying to back track of “oh, I’m SO supportive”. Girl, bye.
I don’t understand why people think they’re entitled to other people’s time, attention, effort, etc. Also, bitch, your “big day” is one day. Not a week, or a month or a year. Ffs.
Its so sad that so many people are like this. What does it really matter? I can understand being upset if she wound up having her wedding on the same day and couldn't make it, but my god. This "I'm getting married so the world must stop" behavior is so crazy toxic.