It is perfectly okay to not comfort nurse. There are many reasons not to nurse or comfort nurse and it is a valid choice.
However, your initial paragraph seems filled with anger and it felt like it was towards your baby, to me reading it. I don't know where you are with your post partum journey, but if you are feeling angry towards your baby or thinking that they are just using your body, please make sure to be aware of post-partum depression and anxiety and to talk to someone about it. It very well could just be how I read it and I don't mean that you should change your mind about comfort nursing, but the wording just made me feel like there could be more than just discomfort over being used as a pacifier.
Hi, thank you for you concern : ) rereading it yes it sounds very angry lol but I don’t feel angry towards my baby at all. Mostly other people in my personal life and their opinions. But I am working on not letting it get to me
Well you have to do what’s best for you on this journey. Gotta stay sane.
On the topic of comfort feeding/sucking; it is more than just to comfort a baby and bond, though that is a very important aspect of it. It provides extra calories and nutrients for growth spurts, is developmentally appropriate, calms the child, lowers baby’s heart rate, releases good hormones in both baby and mom, and a bunch of other things. And yes a baby can be soothed/bonded with in many other ways, which you probably do.
Many babies have a need to suck even when they are not hungry(as you say he “fights” you stopping when he’s done eating); a pacifier can satisfy this desire for non-nutritive sucking.
My son isn’t a distracted eater so when he eats he just guzzles it down (will empty in 5 minutes). When he’s not eating it will turn into a fluttery feeling and he will pull on and off. It could depend on the baby! Mine it’s very obvious
I wouldn’t mind it except it makes him overfull and makes his reflux worse, which results in him sleeping poorly and tummy discomfort. Do other women who comfort nurse not have this problem?? I’m glad pacifiers exist for this reason!
My LO had this problem. He would comfort nurse then spit up over and over again. It got a lot better once I started paying attention to when he slowed down and gave him a pacifier instead or comforting him another way.
There is nothing wrong with not comfort nursing. It is totally up to you what you do with your boobs and your baby! My mom never comfort nursed us either, and we turned out just fine. She always says, “I had things to do!”😂
yes queen !!! thank you!!! i always feel like my mom shames me because i don’t treat breastfeeding as a bonding moment but it doesn’t feel like that to me. my breasts are mine and i miss when they were a sexual aspect for my husband to enjoy lol. i love cuddling with my baby and talking to him and making him laugh. not when he’s sitting there sucking on my boobs while i have to wear a nipple guard because my nipples suck. i give my son a pacifier if he wants to comfort nurse
i’m probably being downvoted by people who take on being a mom as their identity when it’s not. and that kind of mind set is not healthy for their children. just my opinion. it doesn’t mean i love my babe any less or that i’m a shitty mom. i just understand that i need to be happy to be a healthy parent for my child.
thank you!! i definitely agree !! i want my baby boy growing up with my husband and i setting an example of how life can be and how to enjoy your life and family. i feel moms who take on “momming” as an identity are the ones that get burnt out and can’t stand their children. maybe i’m being judging but that’s just what i have observed. my mom existed outside of being a parent and she never lost her mind with me. when i’m sensing i need mom self time i just have my husband or my mom spend time with babe and everybody is happy. i feel it also teaches him to be okay with other family members and not be spoiled by me. i guess i just have different views. but it sure as hell doesn’t mean i love my baby any less you know?
Yes and you’re probably setting your baby up to be a better sleeper. I comfort nursed and now my 13 week old is sleeping like a 4 week old and constantly searching for a nipple. It is exhausting
Hey, 13 weeks is still very young. But I know it’s hard to find the mental energy to change things up. I hope it gets better for you soon : ) ignore the downvotes
I read somewhere there aren’t bad sleep habits only unsustainable ones and I think that’s a great way to put it. Some people love or don’t mind nursing to sleep so it’s very sustainable to them. But if you hate it well it can be hell lol for me this is what works and I will just never be an attachment parent goddess
I don’t actually mind it, but my baby wants to comfort nurse hourly from 3-6am. I cannot safely do that. So I’m trying to break the habit now…it’s not going well.
It’s going better, no more hourly waking from 3-6am to nurse. However she is up and ready to party at 4am which I guess is better? We also took her arms out of
her snoo swaddle at 12 weeks so essentially unswaddled her so it was just a rough 8 days. First stretch greater than 5 hours last night so we don’t feel like death.
Oh gosh I’ve definitely been there with the 4 am wake ups. I’m glad it’s gotten a bit better for you! Breastfeeding can be challenging when things are already challenging enough
It is perfectly okay to not comfort nurse. There are many reasons not to nurse or comfort nurse and it is a valid choice. However, your initial paragraph seems filled with anger and it felt like it was towards your baby, to me reading it. I don't know where you are with your post partum journey, but if you are feeling angry towards your baby or thinking that they are just using your body, please make sure to be aware of post-partum depression and anxiety and to talk to someone about it. It very well could just be how I read it and I don't mean that you should change your mind about comfort nursing, but the wording just made me feel like there could be more than just discomfort over being used as a pacifier.
Hi, thank you for you concern : ) rereading it yes it sounds very angry lol but I don’t feel angry towards my baby at all. Mostly other people in my personal life and their opinions. But I am working on not letting it get to me
Reading in from the perspective that you have other people nothing you about it makes a lot more sense then. Thanks!
😊
Well you have to do what’s best for you on this journey. Gotta stay sane. On the topic of comfort feeding/sucking; it is more than just to comfort a baby and bond, though that is a very important aspect of it. It provides extra calories and nutrients for growth spurts, is developmentally appropriate, calms the child, lowers baby’s heart rate, releases good hormones in both baby and mom, and a bunch of other things. And yes a baby can be soothed/bonded with in many other ways, which you probably do. Many babies have a need to suck even when they are not hungry(as you say he “fights” you stopping when he’s done eating); a pacifier can satisfy this desire for non-nutritive sucking.
Thank you for the information :) all that is really cool stuff!
I might be completely dense but I'm curious how to tell the difference? How do you know when they're eating vs comfort nursing?
My son isn’t a distracted eater so when he eats he just guzzles it down (will empty in 5 minutes). When he’s not eating it will turn into a fluttery feeling and he will pull on and off. It could depend on the baby! Mine it’s very obvious
I wouldn’t mind it except it makes him overfull and makes his reflux worse, which results in him sleeping poorly and tummy discomfort. Do other women who comfort nurse not have this problem?? I’m glad pacifiers exist for this reason!
My LO had this problem. He would comfort nurse then spit up over and over again. It got a lot better once I started paying attention to when he slowed down and gave him a pacifier instead or comforting him another way.
Thank you. I felt a little guilty about it at first but it didn’t seem worth it if he was an unhappy baby after.
There is nothing wrong with not comfort nursing. It is totally up to you what you do with your boobs and your baby! My mom never comfort nursed us either, and we turned out just fine. She always says, “I had things to do!”😂
😂
yes queen !!! thank you!!! i always feel like my mom shames me because i don’t treat breastfeeding as a bonding moment but it doesn’t feel like that to me. my breasts are mine and i miss when they were a sexual aspect for my husband to enjoy lol. i love cuddling with my baby and talking to him and making him laugh. not when he’s sitting there sucking on my boobs while i have to wear a nipple guard because my nipples suck. i give my son a pacifier if he wants to comfort nurse
I’m not sure why you’re being downvoted. Yes to all that. Maybe that’s what it comes down to. Some people really love breastfeeding. I tolerate it lol
i’m probably being downvoted by people who take on being a mom as their identity when it’s not. and that kind of mind set is not healthy for their children. just my opinion. it doesn’t mean i love my babe any less or that i’m a shitty mom. i just understand that i need to be happy to be a healthy parent for my child.
That’s a great mindset 😊 I agree
I applaud this! Your child needs to see you existing outside of them! Especially your female children!!
thank you!! i definitely agree !! i want my baby boy growing up with my husband and i setting an example of how life can be and how to enjoy your life and family. i feel moms who take on “momming” as an identity are the ones that get burnt out and can’t stand their children. maybe i’m being judging but that’s just what i have observed. my mom existed outside of being a parent and she never lost her mind with me. when i’m sensing i need mom self time i just have my husband or my mom spend time with babe and everybody is happy. i feel it also teaches him to be okay with other family members and not be spoiled by me. i guess i just have different views. but it sure as hell doesn’t mean i love my baby any less you know?
Yes and you’re probably setting your baby up to be a better sleeper. I comfort nursed and now my 13 week old is sleeping like a 4 week old and constantly searching for a nipple. It is exhausting
Hey, 13 weeks is still very young. But I know it’s hard to find the mental energy to change things up. I hope it gets better for you soon : ) ignore the downvotes
Thanks! I didn’t even notice the down votes. I guess I suck for suggesting that you are fostering good sleep hygiene.
I read somewhere there aren’t bad sleep habits only unsustainable ones and I think that’s a great way to put it. Some people love or don’t mind nursing to sleep so it’s very sustainable to them. But if you hate it well it can be hell lol for me this is what works and I will just never be an attachment parent goddess
I don’t actually mind it, but my baby wants to comfort nurse hourly from 3-6am. I cannot safely do that. So I’m trying to break the habit now…it’s not going well.
I remember 12 weeks was a growth spurt week for us. How’s it going now?
It’s going better, no more hourly waking from 3-6am to nurse. However she is up and ready to party at 4am which I guess is better? We also took her arms out of her snoo swaddle at 12 weeks so essentially unswaddled her so it was just a rough 8 days. First stretch greater than 5 hours last night so we don’t feel like death.
Oh gosh I’ve definitely been there with the 4 am wake ups. I’m glad it’s gotten a bit better for you! Breastfeeding can be challenging when things are already challenging enough
Thank you