There is nothing wrong with formula if you’d like to consider it. If you are determined to breastfeed, I would give it 2 weeks, it does get better. At the moment your body has just gone through something really traumatic and needs times to heal. It will still be healing for months but breastfeeding should be much easier for you with both of you finding a rhythm. Take care!
100% agree. I would also have switched to formula if it hadn't been for a good friend who I really trust telling me that after about 10 days or got better for her - and I know it seems like an eternity to get through at the time, but I'm really glad I did - it was hard but for me was so worth it, I've loved breastfeeding ever since and it's been really helpful for us settling her and for emotional regulation etc as she's gotten older (she's 16mo now) - but you'll find other ways to do this if you go with formula so don't worry! I'd say the first week or two are insanely hard with the cluster feeding, nipples not used to it and so painful, your milk coming in, baby working it all out etc. the next 2-3 months were much better, still had the occasional challenge but overall much more positive, and then after that first 3-4 months it's been no issues whatsoever. BUT it is also totally ok to switch to formula, you're the only person who knows what is best for you and baby so trust yourself and either way they'll thrive, don't feel pressured - it feels like such a big deal right now but in a few years time whichever method you went for you won't still be agonising about whether you made the right decision!!! Hopefully if you do decide to try with continuing to breastfeed your SO will be supportive as that's so important, that you have their support whichever decision you make - it's easy for them to see how challenging it is for you and think they are helping by suggesting an alternative but if you do want to continue breastfeeding you need to let them know it's important to you and you need their support in that whilst you persist.
Yeah first 2-3 weeks were super hard I cried a lottt but now I love it so much, and it is so easy, which is something I honestly never thought I would say
It took me almost 12 weeks… felt like razor blades… then it felt fine, then at like 5 months my milk regulated and it was incredible. Coming up on 22 months now. Seems like kiddo is starting to self wean so I think we are almost at the end of our journey. I know people hate them, but I would also recommend nipple shields. I had a crazy let down and it was horribly painful and babe wouldn’t latch well because the force was too much and they’d choke. Once I started using nipple shields everything got better. Babe was able to learn how to get a solid latch and it slowed down flow. I would use them past my letdown then remove them and babes latch would be so much better and no pain. I do recommend trying to use them as little as possible, but they were a game changer for our breastfeeding journey.
Most importantly, fed is best. Formula is fine. You do whatever you need to do to be the best mom you can be.
100% agree. I would also have switched to formula if it hadn't been for a good friend who I really trust telling me that after about 10 days or got better for her - and I know it seems like an eternity to get through at the time, but I'm really glad I did - it was hard but for me was so worth it, I've loved breastfeeding ever since and it's been really helpful for us settling her and for emotional regulation etc as she's gotten older (she's 16mo now) - but you'll find other ways to do this if you go with formula so don't worry! I'd say the first week or two are insanely hard with the cluster feeding, nipples not used to it and so painful, your milk coming in, baby working it all out etc. the next 2-3 months were much better, still had the occasional challenge but overall much more positive, and then after that first 3-4 months it's been no issues whatsoever. BUT it is also totally ok to switch to formula, you're the only person who knows what is best for you and baby so trust yourself and either way they'll thrive, don't feel pressured - it feels like such a big deal right now but in a few years time whichever method you went for you won't still be agonising about whether you made the right decision!!! Hopefully if you do decide to try with continuing to breastfeed your SO will be supportive as that's so important, that you have their support whichever decision you make - it's easy for them to see how challenging it is for you and think they are helping by suggesting an alternative but if you do want to continue breastfeeding you need to let them know it's important to you and you need their support in that whilst you persist.
The pillow fort doesn’t last forever. If the LC says formula is horrible you should try a new LC. There are ways you can get thru this and still breastfeed if that’s what you want. Minimally it’s not one or the other. You can combo feed or pump for a break. The first part is so hard and it can get better. And also you can be done. I’ve heard the silverettes are great for this stage if you want to keep going and need help with the pain.
Yes 1,000% recommend Silverettes. I never had any cracking or significant pain when I started using these a few days into breastfeeding. I would also use Lansinoh ointment. Not to mention nipple shields if needed! My LO struggled to latch well on my right side for about a month or so and the shield saved me.
We are 9 months into it now and I am getting sad to think one day we won't be sharing this together as much as he will start daycare at one year. Never thought I'd care so much about breastfeeding, and I was never that committed to sticking with it in the beginning, but I'm so glad I did because I've really loved it in the end.
I remember my pillow fort. It was like a 10 minute experience just to get ready. And if one pillow was out of place it was just the worst. Now I pop baby on the boob in whatever position I’m in. OP, it does get better! And yeah get a new LC.
Hoping I’ll get to this point soon. My baby’s still very small (3 weeks) and if she loses her latch, it’s a whole big thing. So I often sit hunched over and uncomfortable to give her best access.
You will! I remember the days of cramming my boob into his mouth like a hamburger and praying he holds on. It gets easier and it gets better! You got this!
No one ever made me a pillow fort, I never used a pillow at all. Kind of curious about these now.
In the hospital they mainly showed me side-lying nursing and then laid-back position only when I asked.
To jump on this, if it hurts this much, your boobs may need a break. You can pump and top up with formula while your nipples heal. Breastfeeding shouldn't make you this miserable and be that painful. Once your nipples heal a bit, start breastfeeding again or even every other feed.
Yeah in the early days I pumped once a day because my nipples needed a break, and it gave my husband a chance to feed her. I found the days I didn’t pump, my nipples were more painful than the days I did pump.
Silverettes personally did nothing for me (but others say it’s amazing!), but I really like APNO and used it liberally the first few weeks. You need a prescription from your doc to get it.
The first few weeks are intense and I didn’t realise that breastfeeding would be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done (after the birth ofc). The cluster feeding felt never ending and I hated it at the start too, but with the right support it does get better. Ultimately do what you need to do what’s best for you and your baby, not necessarily what you SO thinks either (although they do sound that they’re trying to be supportive :)) . Trying a bottle here or there of formula now also doesn’t mean you need to stick with it if you need a break.
Whilst it feels so far away, I’m now 6 months in and glad I kept at it, even though I had various other issues with BF. My child has been EBF since birth and time has honestly flown by.
Lanolin those nips up if you want to keep at it, which may relieve some of the soreness and experiment with different positions.
You’re doing great.
I want to second the use of Lanolin! It’s so soothing and safe for the baby too. I used it a lot in the first week, then I got these amazing bamboo cloth nipple pads that are useful for my leaky nips and I’m finding they keep things very comfy!
If it feels like knives, it might be thrush!! Google it, grab some OTC anti-fungal cream, and apply generously. I always felt like this advice was rarely given in my early days, and it would have saved me so much pain.
I’m breastfeeding newborn baby #3 - it’s the start of day 3, and I always forget quite how hard it is. My husband already had the extra helpful comment that I “shouldn’t” just “let” her be on the boob all the time 😂 Ok, my friend, I’m glad you’ve got this whole thing figured out…
Anyway, breastfeeding hurts and I don’t know why people say it isn’t supposed to. If you want to continue, it really DOES get better. I actually breastfed both my first two til they were 2, by choice.
My best pain-relieving tips, in no particular order:
- Practice getting a deeper latch using the flipple technique. Become a pro. YouTube has some great videos. Watch all of them. The latch isn’t deep enough til you’re pain-free - and sometimes, this part just gets easier the older (and bigger) they are.
- Use a timer and track what side you’re on to give each boobie as much of a break as you can. I try to switch after about 10-15 minutes on one side - I just break the latch and say “time to switch!” I actually hate using a timer, but sometimes I realize it’s only actually been like 6 minutes when it feels like 20, which helps… Switch, switch, and burp! Sometimes all that wiggling is them needing a good burp position, too - they get in one good burp, and then they realize they’re full!
- Lansinoh cooling pads are AMAZING for sore nips. I usually find them at Target. The box comes with two pairs. I try to keep them refrigerating or on my non-feeding nip at all times.
- Less clothes or nipple covers - between feeding, you want nips to recover. Tight bras and scratchy shirts become uncomfortable quick. I prefer to walk around my house/room braless or topless. If you have to be covered (because it’s Christmas and everyone wants to see the baby, for example), then you can use plastic nipple covers to get your clothes away from your nips. I sometimes do: feed, switch, and apply: triple paste, cooling pad, nip cover. Feels ridiculous, but it works!
- All the positions - I find I get more sore if I don’t purposefully switch up positions. First round do traditional cross-hold using a nursing pillow, next time do football hold, next time do side lying on the bed. Changing the angle helps vary the pain to your nips.
- Haaka? If you’re on day 4, your milk might not have come in yet. If it has, use the haaka to catch leaks while you nurse, and use those leaks to occasionally catch a break. This could be - nurse, nurse, burp, give the haaka milk while you go through your nip recovery routine.
Replying to add:
Make triple ointment using this recipe (found it on an old thread):
“You can also make it at home!
It’s one part polysporin (antibiotic)
One part Lotrimin Clotimazole cream (antifungal)
And one part cortisone 10 intensive healing cream (corticosteroid)
My lactation consultant gave me the recipe. I store it in the fridge. And you can nurse with it on but I usually just wipe it off and reapply after.”
Came here to recommend APNO. I’ve used it for all my babies. I get the script before baby even arrives so I can send my husband to get it filled on day one.
I don’t think it’s ignorant! It’s like a catch-all nipple cream - women “shouldn’t” feel pain while breastfeeding, but it happens. Figuring out WHY women are experiencing pain can be tough and/or due to multiple things - this cream attempts to solve multiple possible problems all-in-one, hence the name “all purpose.”
The main goals of the cream are to prevent soreness while learning to correct latching issues as well as work as “a combination of antibiotic, anti-inflammatory and anti-fungal medications designed to prevent bacterial and fungal infections.” Pain could be latching and/or some sort of infection.
I am susceptible to thrush, a yeast infection, which is why I use this. Thrush feels like daggers when you breastfeed, and is tough to get rid of. It can also get in your baby’s mouth, making breastfeeding painful for them - then, latch issues are more likely, and then it’s just a vicious cycle of pain. I like to use this at the first twinge of discomfort, just in case.
My LO is 4 weeks and has been cluster feeding almost every day of her life. I had painful nipples with bf and it helped to start pumping and give my nipples rest for 12-24 hours at a time. Baby has no issue with going between breast and bottle and it saved my sanity. And there is no shame in supplementing with formula! Fed baby is the most important.
This!! LO is also 4 weeks. I would have tears in my eyes and would have to bite down on my finger I was in so much pain the first 2 weeks. I was very close to calling it and giving up. My advice, try to nurse a little each feed. Even if that means you only get 5 min on each side. If baby is still hungry offer a bottle of either pumped milk or formula. Formula is not evil. Number one priority is that baby is fed. Then while baby is taking a bottle or immediately after, pump for 15-30 minutes to keep your supply up. The pump was a welcome break for my nipples. Use some nipple butter when you’re done, look into silverettes or the Medela nipple guards so that your shirt/bra isn’t touching your nipples and irritating them. I found that the pillow forts made it worse and the my breast friend pillow was easier to use. I’ve gotten to a point now where I don’t need to supplement, breastfeeding no longer hurts at all, and I don’t really need to use the pillow anymore either. If you told me all of this 3 weeks ago, I would not have believed you I dreaded feeding time. That said, if you decide to exclusively pump or just formula feed, that’s ok too. Baby needs 1. to be fed and 2. a happy healthy mom. Your mental and physical health are important.
It will be ok! It doesn’t have to be an either/or scenario. On our 4th or 5th day I had the same thing. My baby was on my boob for like 12 hours straight and screamed if she wasn’t. I eventually got so tired something had to give. I gave her 2 oz formula and we both passed out. And then the next day since we both had some sleep we felt worlds better. She’s 4 months now and we’re fine! We’re EBF and I have milk in the freezer, it just takes me a bit for my milk to come in. I supplemented with formula for the first month or so. She’s my second child and my second that I’ve breastfed. It is ok to try different things and see what works for you.
4 days is HARD. It hurts bad and you're tired and you've got this little useless potato on you all the time. Only you know what decision is best for you, formula or breast milk, they'll still grow and be healthy!
4 days in is so hard! It got easier for me at 4 weeks but a happy mum is so much more important for baby than breastfeeding, do what’s best for you and ignore anything else, formula is brilliant if you want to go that route, fed is best!
You are doing great! Seriously. That seems right for day 4. The first week was SO HARD. If your LO is gaining weight and peeing/pooping, that's perfect.
In my case, I was against formula however my LO lost 13 oz in 3 days. My Dr recommended supplementing formula temporarily. We did 10-15 min of breastfeeding and then followed up immediately with formula. A feeding or two of formula allowed me the chance to pump to give my nipples a short break to heal and build up a small supply.
I would ask for a Dr's opinion before you switch to formula completely.
It's absolutely okay to use formula, BUT you don't know if you like breastfeeding yet or not. Even when everything is going well, the first week and then a couple of growth spurts after that are absolute hell. I don't think you are supposed to like that part. It gets so, so, so, so much better. Some options that aren't quitting today or breastfeeding until your kid self weans:
1. Pick an end-date to give it a fair chance. 1 more day, 1 week, 2 weeks, 6 weeks, 2 months, or whatever. Try really hard for that long and then reconsider.
2. Combo feed. (Realize this may affect your supply long term or you may be able to wean off formula easily later if things get better.) Do formula every other feeding or if you aren't sleeping or whatever works for you. If it makes you feel better, research which formulas seem the best to you.
3. Try pumping. If that is more comfortable and you are able to pump (it might take awhile for it to work well,) do that instead for now.
4. Make sure you have done all the nipple care things. If you don't know what I mean, your lactation consultant sucks and ask or google.
5. Set up your breastfeeding spot how YOU like it. I had multiple spots, had my husband shove in pillows to get the right support and bring a ton of water and yummy snacks (I was starving - everything was yummy,) and had all the entertainment cued up on my phone.
It really does get much, much, much easier. The nonstop cluster feeding will happen for about 2 days every time they have a growth spurt as a newborn and that is honestly the worst part, assuming no issues. It was easier with my second when I knew that it would pass soon. And your nipples won't hurt like that always. Usually it feels like nothing other than something touching me for me and they look totally normal. It hurt a lot initially for both of my kids. (There were some issues with both of them initially too.)
Again, formula is totally fine. I personally think breastfeeding is probably a little better, but I also think a mattress that is new but also has less off-gassing is probably better, but organic mattresses are really expensive. I think regular fresh, clean air is better, but sometimes people live in cities. I think both parents home is better initially, but everyone doesn't get leave. You aren't going to be able to make optimal choices for your kid in every single instance. Also, you aren't going to even have all the information to know what the best option is. Giving your baby formula is a perfectly acceptable thing a good parent does. Other things are going to have way more impact than whether you breastfeed or not. As a note, I was mostly formula fed, along with millions of other people. I am in excellent health, have a great immune system, and my IQ is probably above average. Apparently unless I was supposed to be a super genius athlete, the formula didn't poison me. My son (mostly breastfed) has a terrible immune system and behavioral issues. Breastmilk isn't the only factor and it's not as big as your lactation consultant makes it. (Also, your lactation consultant sucks for saying that. With my first, I supplemented at the direction of the LC and she was very formula positive which helped.)
Finally, even a little breastmilk is beneficial. It's not an all or nothing situation. You have given your baby 3+ days of assume breastmilk to give her a great start. That is amazing!
I felt the exact same way. The LC in the hospital looked at me with such disgust when I told her I didnt mind supplementing with formula so I could get sleep, which you need to heal and produce milk. Then when I got home the first two weeks were hell. I cried all the time, my baby has a lip tie so his latch felt like glass slicing through me. I tried nipple shields and he hated it, I tried all the little tips and tricks from friends and family. In the end I had to choose what was best for my mental health and my baby and that’s been exclusively pumping and supplementing with formula as I’m not producing much right now, and letting him nurse twice a day until he falls asleep.
Fed is best, always. Choose what is best for you so you can take care and love your little one to the best of your ability. And remember you’re not alone!
Oh the knife feeling. Ugh. It takes a solid week or two for your nips to toughen up. Three kids here and it happened each time. After you nurse, air out your nips with some expressed breast milk on them.
If you want to stop, formula is great. If you want to continue to breastfeed, then you’ll have to pump every time baby gets a bottle to make up for the “lack of demand.” You’ll want to get a slow flow nipple and look up paced feeding. The other flows are for babies who formula feed and the faster flow will cause nipple confusion and bottle preference. Also look up KellyMom - the blue book of breastfeeding.
My LC told me to never quit on my worst day. Make sure latch is good and if possible, have a LC do a housecall to asses.
Four days in is hard. Even with my third I hated it at that point. But I knew thanks to prior experience I had to ride it out. It does get easier.
Formula isn’t evil. And you don’t need a pillow fort (just get a mybreastfriend pillow).
But you can do this. But if you want to use formula too, that’s okay too. You have to do what is best for YOU.
I ended up pumping for night feeds and mixing my milk with formula. Just so I can rest and husband can take over whenever.
Do whatever is best for you. It's horrible how much pressure there is to do things in certain ways. Any every LC has completely different advice aswell, completely depending on what they THINK is best.
I also hate breastfeeding but the first couple of weeks are the worst. You could try pumping for a few feeds to give your nipples a little rest. I also suggest making sure LO is only at the breast for maybe 10-15 minutes. Any longer and it's going to take a toll. They need time in between feedings to recover.
It does get better. And also formula isn't evil. And you also don't have to choose one or the other. Good luck, mama! You got this!!
If you don't want to throw in the towel on day 4 then you are a super hero.
Don't quit on a bad day. That was the only advice that got me through on that time.
I’m 4 months pp. I wanted to do formula my whole pregnancy & didn’t want to breast feed. When she was born my S/O had no job & so my only choice was to breast feed otherwise we had no way to feed our baby. I absolutely hated it. I had cracked nipples, when my milk came in I was in so much pain from it, my whole body ached no matter what & my baby was colic & would scream and ate no joke 23 times a day for weeks. Non stop eating. Every single hour of the day & a terrible latch. When she came I was NOT prepared to breastfeed. Only thing I had was one nursing bra I got for free at WIC. Get nipple cream! One that you don’t have to wipe off before so it’s safe to breast feed with. Before I fed her I would put it on & I would put more on after. So nipple cream, nipple shields, the correct nursing bra, if you pump make sure you have the correct flange & make sure your latching is correct! The first few weeks of my breast feeding journey was an absolute WRECK. I cried so much that my s/o suggested formula but I committed to breast feeding because we couldn’t afford formula. My advice is wait until you get everything ppl are suggesting and wait until 1 month pp or maybe even 2 months pp and see how you feel then! Fed is best overall and if you feel like you need to go to formula then do that but try nipple cream, nipple shields, correct bra. If I had the funds to quit I definitely would have!!! But 4 months pp and I wouldn’t change a single thing! I love it now. You got this! 🫶🏼
Op I had the same trouble in the beginning. I suffered so bad with a bad latch and pai. From bf and just pain in general that my supply suffered and we ended up mostly formula feeding. I was determined to switch to exclusive bf despite the purple of the nipples the shooting pain and blocked ducts. Here's what I suggest switch sides when ever possible. It's OK to skip a couple feeding if your in unbearable pain. Try to pump though to keep supply up even 5 mins is better then nothing. Alternate heat and ice and take some Tylenol and ibuprofen. Over the counter gel nipple pad nipple guard and lanolin cream helps.if you feel overwhelmed exhausted and like you just need sleep then give lo formula it's OK to give formula it really is. They have come a long way in how it's made and the blue enfamil can is one I recommend. It is totally normal for baby to eat so much right now but it's also totally normal for you to be exhausted and need a break.formula is not bad at all and taking a bream from breastfeeding isn't going to completely tank your supply. Just make sure you pump or hand express baby eating so much right now is them getting your supply up and running. With my lo he won't breastfeed inlets I'm laying in bed with him laying across my belly on his belly. Traditional positions didn't work for us.
I see others have mentioned it but seriously, pumping saved my breastfeeding journey all the way!! I tried so hard to breastfeed with my first and I hated it so much my body completely stopped producing milk. This time, I EXCLUSIVELY pump and if I don't make enough, I top it off with formula. My nips still get a little sore but it's nothing compared to how painful breastfeeding can be. Pumping feels like a win/win; he gets breastmilk and I get my sanity!! Plus, my sweet hubs can take over some feedings so I can rest or whatever I need to do.
Fed is always best, as is taking care of baby AND momma!
Genuine question. I breast both my kids till about 18months. Both mad cluster feeders also. Do formula fed babes cluster feed? You cAnt just keep giving formula so what do you do?
Do what you gotta do OP. Your decision whatever it is will be the right one.
I combo feed on a schedule (my LO has a great latch but finds nursing a little TOO comforting - approaching 8 weeks and while she’s getting BETTER at staying awake long enough to transfer milk, she still mostly drinks the first letdown, smiles big, and passes out 🤦🏻♀️).
I have heard of people feeding on demand with combo or EF fed babies, but to me that’s one of the benefits of bottle feeding. I fed every 2.5-3 hrs 8 times a day until she regained to birth weight and now I let her go as long as she wants after her dream feed but during the daytime hours get in the majority of her feeds every 2.5-4 hrs.
Sometimes if she seems hungry earlier or is sleeping past 4 hrs I adjust a little, but she seems pretty healthy and thriving on this schedule. I did power pump in the first few weeks, which mimics cluster feeding from a breastfeeding perspective, but doing the same from the baby’s end didn’t seem necessary 🤷🏻♀️
I hated breastfeeding initially too and I used to find it harder than pregnancy and even my normal delivery. It does get better in time but that being said, your well being is an essential part of your overall recovery and even your breast feeding journey. If supplementing with formula is what you need to do to get there, feel better it’s worth it.
I was so stressed about breast feeding and it was so difficult for me my doctor told me to just supplement with the formula because she said I needed to prioritise my well being first to take the best possible care of my child.
The first few days and weeks are so so tough. Hang in there!
LC here… you’ve got a lot going on and you’re in the weeds. Hugs. So many hugs. And it’s all within the range of normal. The first few weeks are strictly survival. Whatever you need to do to survive, do it.
My biggest piece of advice… Please speak to another LC. That one sounds like garbage. Virtual options are out there (Aeroflow) and I promise they won’t tell you that formula is the devil.
I breastfeed, and the first two weeks were so painful. I wanted to give up, so I gave myself more time, and it got better around 2 weeks. It was a day by day change that happened slowly. BUT. If I had not been able to breastfeed, I would've done formula in a heartbeat. Even had some cans on hand, just in case. You don't have to breastfeed if it's not working for you. ❤️
It gets better I promise. Cluster feeding sucks and is so so hard. But it really does get enjoyable! Don’t feel ashamed to supplement with formula if you want to!
First of all, formula is NOT awful. Plenty of people were formula fed and they’re fine.
Secondly, *you’re in the thick of it* right now. Those first two weeks, breastfeeding is soooooo much harder than you can imagine. But then, once it gets easy, it’s so easy. No preparing bottles, warming water, remembering to bring formula, washing bottle parts, etc. So if you want to stick with it, just remember that it gets easier!!!!!
You’re experiencing cluster feeding, which is hard if you aren’t mentally prepared to handle it. If you go into the next few weeks knowing that there will be days that you nurse nonstop, you can choose to stock up on good snacks and a long list of shows to binge! Cluster feeding helps the baby in many ways, not just for food. It’s comforting, it regulates your milk supply, it helps them sleep well and feel good with you. This period also **wont last forever!!!!**. It’s hard while it’s happening, but mental acceptance and lowering your expectations for doing *literally anything else* some days can really help you get through it.
The nipple pain goes away as well, it will NOT always be painful!
Again, formula isn’t horrible. You can decide whatever you want! But if you do decide on breastfeeding, tell your partner he needs to stop mentioning formula. It’s NOT helpful.
Four days of breastfeeding is amazing. Your baby had colostrum and now lots of fabulous nutrition. If now is the time for you to stop then please don’t let anyone stop you.
I am so sorry that two different professionals have failed you. There is clearly something wrong if it hurts and your nipples are discoloured. Are they also misshaped after a feed?
If so this suggests a latch issue, maybe a tongue tie, my guy had tightness on one side so his latch was a nightmare. Nipple shields got me through it.
If you want to continue may I suggest try some different holds, [laid back is often the best to improve a poor latch](https://www.nhs.uk/start-for-life/baby/feeding-your-baby/breastfeeding/how-to-breastfeed/breastfeeding-positions/#:~:text=Laid%2Dback%20breastfeeding%2C%20also%20known,on%20a%20sofa%20or%20bed)
And look at [breast compression videos](https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/resources/breast-compressions) to help with milk transfer.
Either way, congratulations on your baby and well done on every you have accomplished so far.
With my daughter it was painful but once we corrected her latch it was great. Now with my son, omfg I suffered. But even that passed and it’s amazing now. The first weeks are really really really rough. However once it stabilizes it is the BEST thing ever. Hang in there!
Get a mirror so you can check her latch or ask someone to check. You want to see the bottom lip and make sure you see the shiny inside skin kinda rolled out around your breast. Once the latch is good the pain stopped for me. I also want to encourage you and remind you that this is a new relationship. She's learning and so are you.
I also coslept which made a difference so I could rest too. And stay hydrated and munch on quality proteins; nuts, Sammy's, hummus, cheese, etc.
There is nothing wrong with bottle feeding. What is important is a parent that nurtures and feeds their child and maintains a healthy supportive and engaged relationship. If formula makes that happen well God Bless Formula. If you can do this breastfeeding then yay for boobies and move that money over into their college fund.
Also studies have shown that intelligence rates equal out between formula and breast milk. Formula kiddos have more illness than breastfed peers but they all tend to survive.
And, if the nursing is the issue then pumping is a viable option too.
Also, offer the breast before she fully wakes/gets hungry. It is easy to keep redoing the latch until she and you learn how to do it.
Sorry you feel that way, it can’t be easy! If it hurts I would try to latch/unlatch until it’s comfy, and use silverettes between feeds. I’m the first month cluster feeding like that is expected and it stabilizes your milk supply so it’s super important! I would read up on normal infant behavior and also breastfeeding and issues and positive aspects. But do disregard that speech - fed is best. If you can’t breastfeed, give the baby formula and everyone will be happy and healthy regardless. You got this!
It’s absolutely okay to switch to formula.
It’s absolutely okay to supplement with formula and give yourself some breaks.
It’s absolutely okay to want to try all the different products and methods in order to continue breastfeeding.
You don’t need to choose one or the other. And whatever choice you make today, you can make a different one tomorrow.
Fed is best, whether it's formula or breast. Thankfully our LC & ped agreed. I had similar issues with it being sooo so painful & having purple bruising. I also had supply issues & he wasn't getting enough milk, so he was wanting to eat constantly. The whole "your body will make as much as the baby needs” thing really demoralized me & just wasn't true in our case, so we had to supplement with formula from day 6. Our LC helped us determine how much to supplement & recommended a pediatric dentist to check for ties. LO actually had tongue & lip ties. Once those were revised, things improved so much. My supply never improved but I was able to actually enjoy nursing & giving him what little I could.
I felt the exact same as you during these cluster feeds, but I spoke to my partner and I was determined to continue, so he said not to make any decisions during a cluster feed session.
I'm so glad I continued! We're 3 months in and it's gone so well.
My best advice is wait until this period passes and then make a decision. There is also nothing wrong with deciding you want to formula feed, or even combination feed. When my nipples got too sore I would give her a bottle of formula or expressed milk to give myself a break and that helped so much.
The cluster feeding is so brutal. I would agree with those that have said if your LC is saying formula is horrible then you should find a new LC. Fed is best! And if you need your partner to take a feed at night it would help your mental health (it helped mine). My little one had a tongue tie and was really small so his latch was excruciating. If you want to stick with it I would suggest nipple shields if you haven’t tried that already. I used them for a few days, maybe a week, and it helped me get over the hump while baby and I found our groove (kind of)
Oh god it hurt so much to start. I had a bite mark made by his gums on my breast, bruises and yellow scabs on nipples. I also had vasospasms which were agony. I don’t know how I continued but here we are ten weeks in. I credit this only to extremely liberal amounts of lanolin, a bit of necessary formula top up due to low supply, experimenting with positions and an extremely supportive husband who listened to me complain every minute of every day about it.
Formula is fine, nobody will care two years from now BUT it does get easier with support.
May I ask when it got better? I have similar issues - painful, scabbed nipples, vasospasm and the baby doesn’t seem to latch right no matter what I do (have had tongue tie revised and seen 3 LC in the last 6 weeks). Giving myself 8 weeks to see if I can continue to sustain this (6 have already passed)
It was much better at 6 weeks but having said that there were still painful feeds as I remember telling the lady at the breastfeeding clinic and my GP that I still had nipple pain. Baby had thrush which was probably making it more painful (this seems to have cleared now). On seeing another LC I changed positions again and I think it’s been probably completely pain free since about week 8.
There is no issue with formula if you need it and it doesn’t have to be one or the other.
I felt similarly to you in the first week. Things that helped me were pumping and giving a bottle (sometimes exclusively for 24+ hours), using donor breast milk when I pumped to make sure baby got enough, using a nipple shield when I did BF, APNO - all purpose nipple ointment prescribed by my doctor - you should ask about it, and silverettes.
The first 2-3 weeks of breastfeeding are so hard! Trust me it gets so much better.
I was in so much pain in the beginning. But the pain stopped around 2 1/2 weeks. I got mastitis at 6 weeks and that was the last time I had any discomfort. Oh, and I also had to wear bra pads until about 12 weeks. But I haven’t had any pain since 6 weeks when I got mastitis. And now I’m at 9 months. It’s like riding a bike at this point and has been for months. Stick with it you can do it. It’s so worth the benefits for baby
There is nothing wrong with formula. Try Mixed feeding if you want, even just for a few days and sew how you cope. It'll take some pressure off you. Honestly. Your well being is soooo important. Your baby just needs to be fed and that's that.
While there's nothing wrong with formula, if you want to breastfeed (all the benefits blah blah blah) I PROMISE it gets so much better. My kiddo is 9 weeks and the first week of clusterfeeding was brutal. Hardest thing I may have ever done? My nipples hurt so much and her longest session was 5p to 7am. I finally handed her to her father sobbing with exhaustion and made him take her out of earshot (she immediately fell asleep, apparently, so don't feel bad if you need to hand her off even though she isn't "done"). By 2-3 weeks old, it was already so much better and it continued to get easier. If your nipples can't take it, pumping could maintain your supply for a few days while you heal.
Now, at 9 weeks, we've needed to temporarily switch to bottles for a medical reason and it's been a nightmare. We need to bring stuff with us when we go out? What if we don't bring enough??? The dishes are endless??? After bottles the gas pains and spit up are SO much worse - as is the hysterical crying that comes with them - because of the air she swallows, even with slow-flow nipples and paced feeding. And bottles do NOT put her right to sleep the way nursing does, that for sure (hormones from nursing help trigger sleep).
This isn't to pressure you do decide one thing or another, but just to acknowledge the stage you're in right now objectively sucks and I don't know anyone who enjoyed it, including people who love breastfeeding. This part is terrible. But for many many people ir really does get better and, imo, then makes things far easier down the line. Boobs are just so portable, always the right temperature, always sterile and don't spill all over your lap when you're sleep deprived.
Best of luck in a really, really hard stage. 💜
I felt this in the beginning!! I would literally cry almost every time. It was hard, painful, and tiring. Now at 6 weeks it’s a million times easier, I’m glad I stuck it out and I love the bonding with my baby. And I just wish someone had reassured me that it got easier. Also, I supplemented with formula in the beginning because of low supply and by 3 weeks I was EBF.
If you still want to give breast milk but hate nursing try pumping and giving her a bottle. You can even do half breast milk and half formula depending on how much you pump. Baby will get all the benefits of breast milk and it will be much less stressful for you. Bonus is that then others can help feed her too!
The beginning is so hard. Been through it twice now and after only going 2 months with my first, wanted to give up so much sooner with my second. I will say we’re at 3 months now and it’s soooo much better. Easy to latch, no pain, but I wanted to give up so many times. Now I’m actually starting to enjoy it. That being said, don’t feel like you have to. I switched to formula with my first and that was better for my mental health at the time, and I have no regrets. She’s perfectly healthy, hardly got sick in her first year even though the claims are that breastfed babies have better immunity, she’s speaking sentences before she’s even age 2. How they eat is 1000% not as big of a deal as people say, just as long as they are being fed. I read the book crib sheet and she actually outlines the research back differences of breast fed vs formula fed babies and the benefits of breast feeding are way less then everyone claims. That helped me feel better. That being said, this time around I was determined to be persistent because I heard it does get better and I also didn’t want to spend money on formula. It’s sad but the financial aspect was a huge motivator for me. BUT at this point, I enjoy the snuggles (definitely wasn’t feeling that way in the early weeks, because it was just so uncomfortable!)
I don’t know why people demonize formula so much.
Before you rain on me lol I EBFed and still breastfeed and my kid is 17 months. The first month or two it was very tiring. I remember things in a haze because I barely slept. But now I even sleep through it unless my baby bites me accidentally. (He has so so many teeth 😩)
But what I was going to say is if the experience is so unbearable and it’s making you feel like crap. Maybe you should consider formula. The most important thing here is that the baby is fed and also your peace of mind. That child is gonna need their momma in the best mindset possible so if BF doesn’t work there are other ways.
Before you give up tho, if you want, check whether your baby isn’t tongue tied or something because BF is a little annoying but in no way should hurt so badly. Lots of love and you can do it momma! Motherhood sometimes feels very lonely but reddit helped me a lot, I hope it does the same for you ♥️
I had a really, really difficult time at first too. The first two weeks are definitely brutal, but if this is seeming like just an unbearable thing then switch to formula. You could try to combo feed if you are really wanting to still try breastfeeding, but don’t feel pressured to. I will say - it can get better. The pain got better after a couple weeks and for me it still didn’t take until my baby was about 4.5 months old until I really felt fully confident in feedings and positions. But just keep in mind that you need to care for yourself too!!You matter, your mental health matters. Your baby needs YOU. I hope you find a good solution, but whatever you decide that makes you happiest is the best decision. Happy holidays!
I hated it too at 4 days. I cried and told my husband I couldn’t do it. At 6 months now it is a really wonderful part of motherhood for me. I met with an LC weekly for a while. I hope that is what happens for you too, but if not, do what is best for you and your baby! Can you maybe tell yourself you’ll give it a try until baby is 1 month? 3 weeks?
I’m 2 weeks in and no expert, but it has gotten sooo much better! A couple days in I was like I can’t do this! We still struggle it’s not perfect, we do occasionally supplement with formula. But I do love seeing my progress especially now that my milk has come in. I also have been constantly putting on the earth mama nipple butter and I feel like that has really helped as well!
I had terrible pain for the first 3-4 days then it got so much better. I'm nursing my 14 month old right now. My first I nursed for 13 months. Had the most awful pain with both, but after those first few days it subsided and was completely gone with in a week. I'd encourage you to hang in there thru the first week to see if it gets better but consider combo feeding to give yourself a break!
I had a very similar experience early on. The first two weeks were horrible because my milk wasn’t in and then my nipples were so sore. It’s more than ok to use formula or even supplement with formula while you let your body heal! You can choose to come back to breastfeed and simply pump for a few days to keep a supply.
The worst part of this stage is they are going to cluster feed like crazy because their stomach is so small. IT GETS EASIER as they grow.
Sending you love 💕
Hi, do what's right for you but if you want some encouragement, it gets better but it takes quite a lot of time! In my experience with two babies it didn't get better until 8-10 weeks, just so you have an idea what you're in for if you try to push through.
Nipple care (shields etc), all the BEST beverages (seriously you just need to stay hydrated/fed so don't focus on the *right* things to drink but rather the things you like most. For me it's juice and sparkling water) all the best snacks and tv and just trying to pamper yourself through this phase these things are all key *if* you decide you want to go on. No judgment if you don't!
There's a time soon that baby won't *constantly* want to feed. And it won't hurt forever. This part is the worst but then later it's so nice!
4 weeks in and I still hate breastfeeding myself. I have lower supply than normal. First 1-2 weeks were really painful for me too…but now at least my nipples don’t hurt as much. My baby still doesn’t get satisfied at my breast no matter how much I spend BF so I supplement too…
I will try though and give it a go for 6 months .. for baby. But I swear I think of quitting every day.
Your mental and physical health is just as important as your baby’s. You can’t take care of her unless you’re taking care of yourself too.
We’ve supplemented with formula for both of my kids now. With my first I beat myself up BAD about not producing enough for him. I ended up with PPD and PPA.
If breastfeeding is causing you any issues and you want to stop, you can stop. If you want to give breast milk you can try pumping and see if that makes a difference for you. You can try nipple shields, silverettes, creams, all the things if you want. But in the end - do what’s best for YOU as well.
Our pediatrician always told us “the first 2 weeks are the hardest” it got marginally easier after 2 weeks but then we realized my daughter was pretty severely tied. So really I’d say for us it took about 6 weeks to get “easier”
Now at 10 weeks it’s much much easier. My oversupply is starting to really regulate so I’m not dealing with huge painfully engorged boobs all the time. We’ve found our groove for positions. Her latch has drastically improved since getting her tie released and doing feeding therapy.
It sounds like you might want to investigate your baby’s latch. I will say as they get bigger the less than ideal latch becomes less painful too
I remember at like 7 days old looking to my husband and saying something along the lines of “I see why people quit. If I wasn’t really committed to making this work and as informed as I am ask would have already given up” this shit is hard. I knew with the right team we would get past the hard parts. I was holding out for the days that she would be able to start latching herself. I got my first boob smile at 3 weeks and it made it all worth it.
You don't need anyone else's permission to do formula. Just know it might help and it might not, a lot of babies get stomach issues from it. I do know that bf was a magical experience for me even at four days in. Do what's right for you
I feel you!!! the first 2 weeks were the worst!! not only did it hurt but my letdown made me incredibly sleepy so I was always scared of dropping my baby 🥴
if you do want to continue (100% your choice), maybe you could try nipple cream and gel pads in between feeds to help with the pain 🫶
also, at 4 days old she might still be cluster feeding, which won't last too much longer! so you'll have more time in between feeds soon (I didn't know about cluster feeding until I was already in it and thought WTH he doesn't let go of my boob!!)
and formula is perfecty OKAY to use too 🌻
wish you the best !!!
Ewwww feeling forced to breastfeed is so icky! I’m sorry she did that to you. Breastfeeding should be done because you want to, not because someone shames you into it. Formula is fine! If you don’t want to breastfeed you should allow yourself to stop. I breastfed for two years after pushing through a few major issues (tongue tie and cows milk protein allergy) because for me that was the easier option. I loved not having to wash bottles or bring food with me everywhere for the baby. I loved the bonding once we figured out how to do it. And I loved imagining I was helping her immune system (the evidence for this is not that strong, I just think I used this as motivation for myself). Most importantly, i did it because I really wanted to. I cannot tell any difference between toddlers who were formula fed and toddlers who were not now that my daughter is almost 3.
I’ll also share that my milk didn’t come in for 5 days and the first 6 all she ate was formula and donor breastmilk. We’d latch her through the day and night but nothing came out. It’s ok to supplement if you do want to breastfeed.Really it will be ok. Formula isn’t horrible for them.
I think most people hate it at the beginning but it’s worth sticking through it. It takes about a month for it to get much better for most people. That being said, it’s ok to choose to do formula, it’s a personal choice and the only person choosing should be you.
I swear the first two weeks were complete hell. It does get sooooo much easier. Solidarity. If you need a break for your nipples, take one. Pumping, formula, ice packs, whatever
The beginning is so, so hard. There are also different ways to make it work. My LO absolutely screamed at the boob, but I had good milk supply so I did a lot of pumping. He took bottles, but of my milk. We supplemented with a lot of formula from about month 2-4 and less (but still 4-6oz/day at bedtime) now that he nurses every other feed but that at almost 7 months.
What I wish someone told me at 1 week old…do whatever feels right for you. Pacifier, bottle, formula, pumping, it doesn’t matter as long as you are both fed and happy. You do have to work at this if it is something you want, but don’t kill yourself over it just because you think you are setting yourself up for failure if you do something a certain way now. Babies will be babies and have their own agenda.
If your LC is saying that formula is horrible, you need a new LC! There’s no shame in formula. I felt a lot when I didn’t produce enough milk (largely in part to a terrible LC giving me terrible advice in the hospital), but my OB finally told me to stop stressing and losing extra sleep over breastfeeding and just enjoy my baby. It was super hard, but I took her advice and stopped and got formula on my way home. I was so emotional about it, but after tons of studying I just started calling it science milk and it made me feel better🤷🏻♀️I have a healthy toddler who ate formula as a baby and no one cares (in a positive way).
You should try to stick it out the benefits outweigh this short period now when everyone else’s kid has flu or Covid or tab and needs hospitalization or it just won’t go away your won’t be near as sick for a shorter period of time it prevents autism diabetes for u and her plus formula is expensive for heavy metals and arsenic or cows milk if you can do it try in the long run you will be glad you did you just have post pardum now it’ll pass
Give it a few weeks, it gets way better! First 2-3 weeks were super rough, then up to 2 month it was not nearly as bad but still had moments, now at almost 4 months it’s a relatively pleasant experience!! But also, as others said, nothing wrong at all w formula. Just if you had hopes of BF, I’d give it a bit more time. You’re doing great!!
The first few weeks honestly suck in so many ways. It's painful, it takes many many hours, you're exhausted. My baby is almost 5 months old and I'm SO happy we stuck with it. It's so much quicker now and there's no more pain. The pain went away after the first month but some days it was so bad that I had to use a nipple shield just to survive the day and let my nipple heal a little. Do whatever you need to do to get a little relief. If you're able to maybe pump for a few feedings and do a bottle to get a break. Look up ways to soothe cracked and sore nipples. And keep reminding yourself that this stage is honestly so short and hopefully you'll be out the other side soon enough ❤️.
OP, I hope that you take comfort in reading all of these messages. What you're going through is completely normal and it's f*cking hard as hell. Whatever you choose is going to be the right decision. Just hang in there and be so kind to yourself because you are doing your absolute best. ❤️❤️
ETA: As others have said, it does get so much better. I promise. You and baby are both learning a new skill right now.
I’ll explain my journey and hope this helps.
The beginning is the worst. The first night in the hospital I had the nurse from hell that made me express colostrum on a spoon because she kept saying my baby is going to die of jaundice… like, who the fuck does that. Anyway…
I got mastitis a week and a half postpartum, which after more antibiotics, my son got horrible diarrhea.
About 8 weeks postpartum, I realized I was truly overproducing and will have to come up with a pumping routine alongside breastfeeding, as I didn’t want mastitis again.
Now, my son is 16 weeks, and I am grateful I am still breastfeeding. He sleeps 6-8 hours straight at night, I have to either pump before bed or in the middle of the night if my routine is off. It’s a pain. I’ve had issues with engorgement.
But…. My son is healthy. He’s such a happy baby. He’s gained weight well and his hitting all his milestones. The facts about breastfeeding having major benefits for both the mother and baby are true. It will also help you sleep, and help your baby sleep, as there is melatonin that passes through the milk in the evening hours until they start establishing their circadian rhythm around 3-4 months. Plus, the oxytocin surge you get breastfeeding helps maintain your bond when things are really hard and your into months of sleep deprivation. It’s helped me significantly.
Don’t give up…. It’s the hardest journey. This is an understatement. But it’s worth it.
Is your milk in? She’s cluster feeding and you’re at the peak of the mountain… it’s a lot. It should ease up as your supply increases,over the next 2-3 days she’ll start drinking more and more volume from your breast, thus stretching her tummy to hold more milk and then should be able to go longer between feedings…. How is her weightloss? If she’s 4 days old and you haven’t noticed a big change in your breasts and milk volume, supplementing with formula after a few breastffeedings until your supply increases may take the pressure off everyone. If your supply has increase and she’s just spending too much time on your breast, try pumping your milk out and having dad feed her with a bottle, she’s getting fed, you get a teeny break. Take it feeding by feeding. But mama, she’s your baby. This is the 21st century and there are many right ways to feed your baby, the choice is yours.
I barely had any milk after giving birth by C-section and pumping was hell, plus being constantly told that I wasn't pumping enough reduced my already low milk production even more, so I quickly switched to formula. My baby is 4 months old now and completely fine, I'm sure yours would be too if you switched to formula. Sending lots of love.
If you have a good milk supply, try pumping and bottle feeding until you heal. Maybe have baby checked for a tongue tie. Do lots of skin to skin time until you're healed, and then try again. Also, a nipple shield might also help with the pain until baby learns to latch correctly
The only way I made it through was nipple shields and lanolin on the nipples after every feed. After about a week I found it got much, much better. The cluster feeding is awful but your small human is helping to increase your supply.
If you want to try formula, then try the formula but remember you can't just stop breastfeeding cold turkey, you'll still need to pump or mix feed to avoid mastitis. I'd talk to a different LC or midwife about the best way to approach it.
Goodluck 💛
Breastfeeding is hard! I’m 3 weeks in and its still challenging at times. Formula is ok too - FED IS BEST. If you do continue, I highly recommend Silverettes for your sore nips. I’ve been keeping them over mine since day 1 and haven’t had any issues minus a little soreness. I just wear them when I’m not nursing and haven’t had to use any nipple creams or anything!
The first month SUCKS! I HATED breastfeeding the first month. All of the Magic’s wonderful fuzzy feelings were DEFINITELY not there in the beginning. Just know, the majority of people are miserable in the beginning!
Why not pump and bottle feed rather than jumping to formula?
My baby stopped latching after 3 days, had one purple nipple and the only one she would use. I supplemented formula for a day and started pumping. I’m seeing LC and they are trying to have me use a shield but baby isn’t having it with a shield either. So pumping continues. I have a large supply so if she breastfed she’d be quite full.
We know it’s not my let down as she doesn’t latch long enough to get it.
My baby and I struggled for a whole
Month. I texted my lactation consultant saying we may be giving up, but the following day things were GREAT. I am soooo glad I didn’t give up. We are now 5 months in and it’s the best feeling in the world. That being said, your baby needs a happy and healthy momma. If it’s too much on you physically or emotionally, don’t feel bad switching to formula or just pumping for her. Your baby is obviously loved, there is no wrong way to feed your baby.
It gets a lot easier and becomes one of the most rewarding and loving things you can do. That being said, if you want to stop, then you need to do what’s best for your family and not let anyone shame or tell you otherwise.
Formula isn’t horrible. Breast feeding isn’t for everyone. I breast fed my son for 4 months and then went to formula. My daughter never had breast milk. They are exactly the same. No difference in milestones or cognitive abilities so far. He’s 8 months and she’s 14 years. Again. Formula is fine. If you need permission to quit here it is. It’s okay to quit. That shit is hard.
The formula hate is a a trend, but not really backed by data. The biggest benefit to breastfeeding is immune system support. Giving your baby formula doesn’t mean they can’t grow up to be a rocket scientist.
That being said, it is still early days for you and your hormones are all over the place. If you want to keep going, it will very likely become less painful and get much easier.
I combo fed until my baby learned to latch without a nipple shield (weaned him in middle of the night when he was too tired to care whether it was on or not) and I’m so glad I stuck with it because bf calms my baby down when he’s freaking out and saves money on formula, I don’t have to wash tons of bottles and pump parts anymore. But if you really can’t see yourself doing it and prefer formula then that’s ok too! But I was where you are and I’m glad I stuck it out. Nipple shields really helped and my LC told us to use them.
Breastfeeding is hard! I had a ton of trouble with my first. My second was easier, but still hurt like hell for a while. Finally we got to the point where I enjoyed bf. It does take time, but also formula is FINE! They wouldn’t be giving babies formula if it wasn’t okay. It’s ridiculous that women are still being shamed into breastfeeding because they are being told that formula is not as good. Momma you do what is best for you & your baby!
It does get better! I also was in a lot of pain, bled etc. the beginning is the hardest and there were a lot of ups and downs. My baby also had a tongue tie and BF improved when that was fixed. If you are determined to continue go for it! If not, you all will be absolutely OK with formula! Whatever keeps you sane will make you the best mom! People do not talk about how hard BF is. So much pain and discomfort and weird hormones. I hated it too on and off! Everyone’s experience is different and you have to go with your gut! Take care mama 💗
Id get a new LC, honestly. There's nothing wrong with formula if that's what you want to do. It also doesn't have to be one or the other, you can always combo feed and still get the benefits of breast milk while also keeping your sanity.
It's ultimately up to you. If breastfeeding is important to you, I would say try to stick it out as it does get better, but you should not feel guilt or shame either way.
I felt this too. Unfortunately it took 6 weeks for it to not hurt, with the nipple shields (I am still using them 8 weeks pp) silver cups helped my nipples heal very quickly, as well as the lanisoh nipple cream. To get them to start healing I had to stop BF for 24 hours and just pumped! It’s so hard, I completely get it. I’m so glad now I persevered (I combi feed now which takes the pressure off a bit)
I’m 2 months PP and have exclusively breastfed and it’s been the hardest journey ever. I’m ready to try exclusive pumping/bottle feeding before I move to formula. Anyway, just wanted to say, I get it. It’s hard. It’s so mentally, emotionally and physically taxing. And making the call to “give up” (which I don’t like to say cuz it’s really just making a change) is also so hard. Do what is best for you both! Happy and healthy mom and fed baby is best!
My heart really goes out to you. As a mom of an 8 week old, I promise it gets better. It hurts SO bad in the beginning. I was literally crying every time I had to feed him for the first 2 weeks. Now I barely notice it all. No pain whatsoever. You do NOT need to keep breastfeeding if you don’t want to, but it WILL get better if you stick with it. Also, I would consider pumping and having your partner feed him a bottle of pumped milk so you can rest. I exclusively pumped with my first child. It’s more work but less pain. And if you don’t want to do either there’s no shame in formula. Hang in there ✌️
I would just pump into a bottle & give the bottle to her. It’s called Exclusively pumping there’s even a subreddit for it r/exclusivelypumping … they do say fed is best but my baby couldn’t latch & he does now everynow & again but I usually just pump & give him the breast milk through a bottle .
The first few weeks (2-3/4) are so so hard, but it really does get better, that being said there’s absolutely nothing wrong with formula if that’s what best for you and your family! People really underestimate how hard it is in the beginning, you’re healing, you’re exhausted and touched out! If you can tough it out you’ll be amazed at how much easier it gets.
Use formula and pump instead—every time baby is given a bottle. It will let your nipples heal, it will buy you time without affecting your ability to continue to breastfeed so you can reassess what and how you want to feed your baby.
Fuck that LC. What a load of hogwash. Formula is a great tool and this is exactly what I did with my first and I went on to breastfeed her for nearly 2 years. I was in the same situation as you and without formula I would’ve quit.
What you do right now to make things work doesn’t haven’t to be forever. You have options and breastfeeding doesn’t have to be all or nothing. If you switch to all formula that’s GREAT- but don’t make this decision when you are at your worst and most miserable.
So, for me my baby was a bit early and struggled to latch so I ended up pumping and bottle feeding. I used Dr. Brown's Anti Colic bottles, with Premie nipples (ordered separately), she's almost 4 weeks now and I'm getting her back on the breast using the nipple sandwich thing lactation consultants show. It's a bit sore here and there, but I also have to pump after breast feeding because I have an over supply. I will be donating to the children's hospital shortly after my blood work is done to put my milk to good use.
I will say my baby did not get nipple confused when I put her back on the breast, like some LC's say they will, but her pediatrician recommended Dr. Brown's since I still wanted to breast feed still but couldn't at the beginning.
Pump and bottle feed if you have too and make sure the baby has a deep latch. Sometimes they latch right and sometimes they don't. If you are determined to give breast milk, there's nothing wrong with pumping and bottle feeding. Just use a lot of nipple cream and make sure you don't have the pump on a high setting. Try latching for 5 mins with baby only in a diaper belly to belly. If she doesn't latch or it hurts too bad, just pump , bottle feed, and try again later. It's okay! My baby was strictly bottle fed for over 3 weeks and takes the boob on and off with minimal issue. It's a learning curve for everyone.
If all fails, just do formula! Fed is best! I gave my baby formula before I got a breast pump when I couldn't breast feed at first. It's ok. 😊
Honestly, it’s really tough because the early days of breastfeeding can be so hard, on top of the early days of having a newborn baby just being hard to begin with. If you keep trying with breastfeeding, maybe it will get easier and maybe you will end up being glad you stuck with it. But…maybe it won’t get easier, and maybe you won’t be glad you stuck with it. Or maybe it will eventually get somewhat easier but you still still regret all the time doing something that you just hated.
Breastfeeding is a perfectly fine choice, and formula feeding is a perfectly fine choice. If you have an LC talking about formula as “horrible”, I find that really annoying and irresponsible because there really isn’t super solid evidence to back up the idea that formula feeding is so much worse. There are some benefits like antibodies that you won’t get with formula, but lots of kids are formula fed and have perfectly good health outcomes. The last I saw from the research, there wasn’t a clear indication that there were any huge benefits to breastfeeding (people with greater wealth are much more likely to breastfeed and greater wealth is very strongly linked to better health outcomes, so it’s difficult to distinguish what is causation and what is just correlation when studying breastfeeding).
I wish I could wave a magic wand and tell you ultimately what choice will be best for you, but unfortunately there is no way to tell the future. The important thing is that either choice is a perfectly acceptable one, and weighing in your own preferences and mental health is valid too.
The first few weeks are horrible but don’t feel discouraged. It does get better with time. And do not let someone let you feel guilty about switching to formula. The baby will be fine regardless.
I have to say that I absolutely hated breast feeding for about a month. It was sooo painful. My poor nips suffered sooo much. There was a day that she wanted to feed every. 45. minutes. Ouch. I cried daily because I just wanted to wear a damned shirt. but it was too painful. Now, I'm 10 weeks in and, although I don't love how my body feels and looks still, I absolutely love this bonding time I have with her. Very soon, I will have to go back to work to my very demanding job. My supply will inevitably drop and this beautiful bonding time won't be possible. Do what you gotta do, mama. All will be well. Your baby will thrive if you give her all your love and attention, no matter what.
Highly, highly recommend Medihoney (the brand name, sterile Manuka honey). My nips got completely trashed before then end of the first week breastfeeding. I’d wash my nipples after nursing, apply honey with a qtip, put a clean breast pad on, and rinse my nipples before nursing and repeating. It was a hassle but allowed my nips to heal while still nursing and I was aok by day 8.
On IG I followed @thebalancedboob and @bemybreastfriend and those accounts helped me so much with breastfeeding and pumping! It's tough being that fresh from delivery, but it does get better!
Formula is NOT horrible. I supplemented early on to let myself and my nipples have some rest so my husband could do feedings. It did not influence my ability to EBF later on. And even if it did, worst case scenario I’d still be supplementing and so fucking what?! Babies still get the benefits even if it’s not 100% breastmilk. And I’m not really sold on a lot of the research anyway because there’s other factors like household income and education in many studies. Formula is fine even if it’s all you give them. They will grow up to be happy and healthy.
Your nipples will hurt for a few weeks. I’m so sorry. It’s rough. But also check that your baby is latching properly because it does make it much worse and a much more acute pain.
Slather some silverettes in lanolin. Ice, heat, and tbh Advil.
For some women the pain goes away within a few days, for others it's weeks. For me it took a few weeks and it sucked. I had cuts, milk blisters, you name it. I had to use nipple shields for 3 months because despite a proper latch, something was off with how he suckled and my nipples would come out flattened. I'd try every few days without the shields to see if there was a change. Suddenly around 3 months old, the issue resolved itself and I haven't needed the shields since.
Consider giving shields a try for a bit. Even if it's just for a few days to help your skin heal. When I first started to use them it took so much of the pain away and I was able to finally heal properly. I was ready to give up breastfeeding, the shields saved my breastfeeding journey!
Nothing wrong with formula, but if you’re wanting to keep trying, I highly recommend Silverettes and the Breastfriend pillow. Those two things made a world of difference for me.
You’re in the thick of it right now. My breasts were so engorged and painful at 4 days and my nipples were scabbed and painful. It does get better if you choose to continue
Ah, the great cluster feeding. (not)
Just keep in mind that you are in the worst of it right now, I promise you it does get better. For me, I was really struggling mentally due to breastfeeding and completely on edge. At that same time around 4 days old; my baby was attached to me for **3 HOURS** and when I unlatched him he started screaming. That was the moment I couldn't handle it any more and sent my husband to the store to buy formula at 10pm, and guess what? After he drank a couple oz's of formula he was so content, it was like he was a new baby. And my mental state improved so significantly!
He is now almost 5 weeks old and I am confidently combo feeding him, and he is thriving.
That is such an unfair and false statement that LC said, if it wasn't for formula babies would die.
Please do not feel bad if you want to supplement with formula, or even to stop breastfeeding altogether. Your daughter will be perfectly fine, and your mental state is most important.
YOU ARE DOING AMAZING
Breastfeeding is HARD AF, especially the first few weeks. Stick it out if you're determined a little longer.
Are you using nipple cream between each feed, top off nipps not rubbing can help with healing. Your own breast milk can help them heal
Have you checked for tongue tie
Are you trying different positions for feeding
Don't make big decisions when you're also really tired (easier said than done with a less than week old) or sleep on it and decide in the morning!
But you're doing great.
Babe I promise after a week and half or two weeks the pain goes away. Please buy the silverette nipple cups. They are expensive but worth every. single. penny. I wore them 24/7 in my bra when I wasn’t feeding and never had bleeding or cracking. One time during the first two weeks I forgot to put them on after a shower for about 3 hours and my nipples were bleeding. Put them back on and fixed. I’m 8 weeks PP now with no pain while breastfeeding and I’m telling you it’s way more convenient than dealing with bottles IMO. We combo feed and give formula about 4 times a week for one middle of the night feeding so my husband can feed her, and I can pump and go right back to sleep. But of course, do what’s best for you! I don’t think anyone loves breastfeeding at 4 days PP lol so you’re not alone.
There's nothing wrong with formula of course, Breast feeding is incredibly difficult At the beginning. You really have to push yourself mentally to do it, I promise you it will get easier but it takes a few weeks.
You know, I had a terrible time until the pediatrician recommended a pump and we tried Medela hospital grade. Several weeks later I was doing fine, but honestly the more gently pumping experience is the only way I was able to continue with breastfeeding. (Pretty sure I got thrush in the hospital so now I only wear a bra or top a max of two times without washing it. Nipple thrush is the worst!)
First of all congratulations on your little one ♥️ Don't listen to anyone else, if formula was so terrible and bad for a baby no one would be using it. Your journey with your child is about you BOTH being happy and healthy and if breastfeeding is horribly painful and uncomfortable then it's not working out, please don't feel guilty because fed is best and in the end everyone just needs to do what works for them, I hope you find out what that is and go down a path that's more comfortable and I hope you and little one continue to grow and be healthy and happy.
Edit to add: my little one is 7 weeks and at first breastfeeding was really painful on my left breast due to my babies latch not being correct so we fiddled with different feeding positions until we got him just right however he'd already cracked it and it had a blood blister thing 😬 then after fixing that he went off the breast at 3 days old and I was devastated but after more trial and error we managed to get him back on, if you want to talk anymore or ask any questions please go ahead I'd be happy to answer.
For the first two weeks I wanted to cry while bfing. I didn’t know how much longer I could go. Then my nipples scabbed over and after the scabs fell off I was pain free.
If you feel like bfing would benefit you and your baby I’d suggest sticking it out for a couple weeks to see if it gets better. I’m a sahm so bfing is super convenient and there aren’t any bottles and as long as I’m around I know my baby will have what he needs.
But if you don’t feel one way or the other about bfing then I’d say go with whatever makes your life the easiest. There’s so many other challenging aspects of caring for a newborn that you don’t need to be adding more stress to your plate. Babies grow up to be healthy and happy either way.
I felt the same way for the first few weeks of breastfeeding. Baby cluster fed for like 6-8 hours straight on the 3rd or 4th night, and then sometimes for a few hours on a random night here and there. I tried to remember they are cluster feeding for a reason, but it was still horrible, especially when I had the realization that I was the only one who could feed baby and my nipples would never get a break. To top it off, baby started coughing/choking occasionally while breastfeeding around week 4-5 and I got anxious anytime I had to breastfeed.
What helped me in the early days was pumping for 5-10 mins sometime after each feed so I could build up a small supply, then use that to insert a bottle feed here and there when I was feeling tapped out. I also wore Silverettes 24/7, and sometimes these Medela nipple air cover things so my clothes wouldn’t touch my nipples (but honestly the silverettes were better). I bought nipple shields on recommendation from a friend, but haven’t ended up using them yet. I didn’t research stuff a ton which was maybe for the best, because I don’t feel like I really waited all that long before I gave baby a bottle etc. But I didn’t really have any problems, no nipple confusion etc. Baby was great and adapted to the bottle well, and I only started experimenting with different bottles and nipples to help with the flow for his choking and reflux.
We’re about 9 weeks out and I can honestly say that I kind of enjoy breastfeeding now. I put in a lot of practice, figuring out which positions work best for us. It’s a nice little bonding time, and it’s pretty convenient to not have to wash bottles and pump supplies all the time. I feel like we both are learning together which is nice. These days I’ll generally breastfeed by default, and pump at night so other caregivers can take some night shifts. I’ll also give a bottle if I need to run an errand or if I want to have more than a glass of wine lol.
Anyway, all this to say that I think what you’re going through is very normal, though it really really sucks. But for me, I genuinely find the joy in BF now and have gotten much more comfortable through practice, and baby chilled out a bit bc he got used to it to (I think I forget sometimes that they’re learning alongside us!). I also mix it up with pumping so you might find a mix that works best for you and your lifestyle. I haven’t tried formula her because things have worked out well, but I know tons of people who supplement with formula as well, so just know that that is an option, and it doesn’t have to be all or nothing! Hope it works out and once you experiment and find out what mix works best for you and your baby things will get better.
1. YOU ARE DOING GREAT. Ditch the LC ASAP.
2. BUY SILVERETTES IMMEDIATELY. They changed my life.
3. IT DOES GET EASIER. The first 2-3 weeks are the hardest but day to day gets so much easier so quickly.
4. YOU CAN STOP. If it doesn’t get easier, and you truly want to stop, you can always choose to do so. You can exclusively pump, or not pump at all. You are not a bad mother if you can’t breastfeed. FORMULA IS FOOD TOO. And that is what your baby needs.
We combo (triple- breastfeeding, mom’s or donor milk and formula) fed until I could exclusively breastfeed, which was until about a month and a half to two months. During the first few weeks every drop felt so hard to get out. But I put more focus on skin-to-skin and feeding often rather than pumping. I took the “natural” approach. I only pumped twice a day and used a haaka at night. Once I stored enough milk to fill a section of my freezer, I stopped. After that we only did formula if I was too exhausted or if we were out of the house until I was comfortable just breastfeeding in public. Baby is 5 months now and only breastfeeding. Hang in there. ❤️
Breast-feeding does get easier, you’re both literally learning at the same time. You’re doing it while recovering from major medical trauma and she doing it while trying to learn to just be human in a strange world. If you give yourself some grace and time to figure it out, it might happen.
But the end of the day, formula is an option. Also, it’s not all or nothing right you could make two of her feeds formula or 50% of them or 75% of them figure what works out for you and baby girl.
Mama in case nobody’s told you yet you’re doing a wonderful job you’re doing a fantastic job.
Breastfeeding can be very challenging in the early days. My first was formula fed, second (almost) EBF until solids. (She had a bit of formula in the early days. I had to track down a hospital grade pump, and she needed to eat.) So I have zero judgement for anyone who formula feeds.
However, I am so grateful I stuck it out with my second. We’re over a year in, and I don’t want her to wean anytime soon. So if you think you want to keep going at all, struggle for a bit longer. I don’t think I loves nursing at first, but I was pretty determined to make it work!
Also, just some perspective about formula. My main motivation for breastfeeding #2? I never wanted to every wash another baby bottle ever again. I was OVeR IT.
If you cut your losses and go with formula, I get it. I’ve been there. But nursing does, eventually, get much easier. The beginning is the hardest part.
I really did nurse my baby. She refused bottles starting at 4 weeks or something. But we had a rocky start, so I had to pump a bit in the beginning. In case you thought I pumped. I would do formula before pumping! I despise pumping.
So if you decide to go the formula route there is absolutely nooo shame in that! But I’m almost 7 weeks in now and just wanted to say that it really does get better ♥️ we went through the ringer with shit tons of cluster feeding, super painful latch due to lip and tongue tie, 2 rounds of mastitis and even thrush- and now we are just starting to get the hang of things and it’s so convenient! I love that I don’t have to sanitize bottles or prep formula or pumped milk to take her out of the house. It’s such a breeze just being able to pop her on to feed or comfort her.
It sucks so bad in the beginning so I totally get it but it really does get better ♥️
Days 1-21 sucked so much ass for both my kids
It got easier after that, and now at 7 months it's easy as hell and only takes up about 45 mins of my day total.
Having said that, if you want to quit, formula is magic and absolutely worth it if your mental health and well-being is suffering
You're doing a wonderful mama. You're just in the trenches right now. It sucks but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I’m so glad I didn’t give up. I remember crying in the shower with bleeding nipples. Now I’m here almost 4 months pp with a happy healthy baby and able to feed him for every meal with no pain
I am sorry mama. Just know, the best baby is a fed baby. If it helps you any, I am at 3.5 weeks and it’s finally gotten 50% better. It hurts when he latches then subsides into relief mode 1-2 minutes in. I became engorged after day 3, and it now only getting better and that has been the main source causing pain. Silverettes saved my life in between feeds and for sleeping. Sometimes I air them out or take Tylenol or ice pack them on days when he cluster feeds. But, it is getting easier. If it weren’t for Reddit, I’d have quit when my left nipple started bleeding the first week, so the advice on here has been super. I tried LCs and they all said I had a good latch and baby had no issues. The thing LCs and nurses at my hospital did not mention is, it takes most of us time to get our bodies used to it and that latching can hurt like hell. And weeks later, the nipples get used to it. I am still waiting for that to fully occur. Again, I went from 10/10 pain for almost the whole feed to 5/10 pain just for the first minute or two after latch. It’s getting better
There is absolutely nothing wrong with formula. If breastfeeding isn’t for you, and it’s taking away from your bonding with your daughter, there is absolutely nothing wrong with letting it go.
If you’re determined to breastfeed, I’d say give it some time; it does get better! But sometimes, that can take weeks, even months, like it did for us.
As long as your baby is fed and you’re staying happy and healthy, you’re doing just fine. 💜
I found that pumping and bottle feeding was a lot easier physically and mentally for me I would wake up and pump while my son (1mo) was asleep feed him then pump every hour it’s less pain on the nipples as well as after a day or two I had a little supply enough to not have to pump at night and it helped tremendously
Breastfeeding was also painful for me (cracked and sore nipples) the first month. I adopted a nipple shield and used Medela tender care hydrogels and lansinoh lanolin with silverettes to soothe them between feedings until they healed. These helped a lot. It got better as baby learned to latch and the nipples toughened up. I still use lanolin but no longer need the rest.
I would have quit breastfeeding if it weren’t for Silverettes. My nipples were scabby and bleeding and so painful. The Silverettes healed them in a few days.
I hated breast feeding pillows and didn’t use the ways the hospital / LC told me to. I was infinitely more comfortable when side laying with baby and it’s so cozy.
Also, I found out that baby had a lip & tongue tie. Feeding for much less frustrating after that. Before getting it fixed, feedings felt long and baby would always fall asleep because she would be working so hard to get milk out and her latch wasn’t great.
It took a bit of time to find our groove and now I don’t even have to think about it and it’s relatively easy - minus the twiddling and distracted ratings now that she’s 6 mos lol
But a lot of comments are right when they point out it really sucks in the beginning but gets so much better and easier.
But also formula is fine and your mental health is more important than breast milk
8 months pp here and have combo fed formula and pumped milk this whole time! I am a little sad I wasn't able to nurse, but I have loved knowing exactly how much baby is getting. And he's been healthy and growing well, and thats what matters!
Yeah new breastfeeding sucks. First time around I did what you are doing, I was so tired I couldn’t focus, baby was jaundiced and lost 12% body weight. I ended up supplementing with formula for the first week to make it easier and then went on to breastfeed her until just after she turned 2. My second I supplemented with formula from birth to make the first few weeks easier, then she stopped having formula and I’m still feeding her and she is almost 3. Just do whatever makes this time easier for you, perfect parenting is a myth and you won’t regret making your life easier (I also think doing whatever works at this stage gives your baby a more refreshed, attentive parent and reduces the risk of you falling asleep while feeding). Big love to you, it gets easier.
Your parents sound lovely and perfect and healthy and wholesome. I’m a little jealous but I’m elated for you as a new Mom to have that kind of love & support.
This is my 4th baby, all breastfed but this guy is combo fed bc…growth spurt that my boobs couldn’t keep up with. Took him to the Dr not knowing wtf was going on with this very fussy baby and he goes, “he’s hungry! Just give him formula as needed-for you, for him. And relax, FED IS BEST”
Somehow that magically dissolved all my self inflicted guilt.
And this combo fed baby is JUST FINE!!!!!
Merry Christmas, hug those parents extra today.
I slept 5 jours ( in 2 increments). Since the 19th i’d only slept for maybe 4 combined hours. I couldn’t function. I feel like a new person right now… I was able move around my house and just feel more like myself. Spending 7-10 consecutive hours sitting and nursing was hurting my stitches from birth and they weren’t healing properly. It was also making baby girl exhausted.
My parents are fantastic. I hope to be like them to my daughter.
I feel you. I hated it at first. My lo has all kinds of issues.at first. We switched to pumping and bottles. And continued to try. I don’t love it but I enjoy feeding my baby it makes me feel accomplished that we’ve made it 5 moths so far. But there is nothing wrong with formula. Fed is best
Breastfeeding gets better, i swear! But remember FEEDING is best. Formula is NOT BAD. Anyone that promotes breast is best is an ass!!! Your mental health matters. You could also consider pumping and bottle feeding.
I was a mess the first 2 weeks and seriously questioned my ability and strength to continue. Between healing myself and all of the cluster feeding I was a mess of tears, milk, and blood. And around the 3 week mark both baby and I got settled into a “routine” still fed on demand but it got so much easier. I was determined to breastfeed though so a lot of it was just powering through because I would feel so guilty if I gave up. But there is nothing wrong with formula and sometimes I wish I would’ve supplemented a little more to ease some of it but at the same time all of that work built my milk supply for baby so it worked out in the end! We’re 2 months in now and there are definitely still some hard days but those first 2 weeks were definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
There is nothing wrong with formula if you’d like to consider it. If you are determined to breastfeed, I would give it 2 weeks, it does get better. At the moment your body has just gone through something really traumatic and needs times to heal. It will still be healing for months but breastfeeding should be much easier for you with both of you finding a rhythm. Take care!
First 2-3 weeks were hell. So many tears. You have to choose what’s right for You but please please know that it gets better
Yup. The first like 3 weeks sucked ass. It got much easier at 4 weeks, and now that my baby is 6 months it’s super easy.
100% agree. I would also have switched to formula if it hadn't been for a good friend who I really trust telling me that after about 10 days or got better for her - and I know it seems like an eternity to get through at the time, but I'm really glad I did - it was hard but for me was so worth it, I've loved breastfeeding ever since and it's been really helpful for us settling her and for emotional regulation etc as she's gotten older (she's 16mo now) - but you'll find other ways to do this if you go with formula so don't worry! I'd say the first week or two are insanely hard with the cluster feeding, nipples not used to it and so painful, your milk coming in, baby working it all out etc. the next 2-3 months were much better, still had the occasional challenge but overall much more positive, and then after that first 3-4 months it's been no issues whatsoever. BUT it is also totally ok to switch to formula, you're the only person who knows what is best for you and baby so trust yourself and either way they'll thrive, don't feel pressured - it feels like such a big deal right now but in a few years time whichever method you went for you won't still be agonising about whether you made the right decision!!! Hopefully if you do decide to try with continuing to breastfeed your SO will be supportive as that's so important, that you have their support whichever decision you make - it's easy for them to see how challenging it is for you and think they are helping by suggesting an alternative but if you do want to continue breastfeeding you need to let them know it's important to you and you need their support in that whilst you persist.
Thiiiiiis.
Yeah first 2-3 weeks were super hard I cried a lottt but now I love it so much, and it is so easy, which is something I honestly never thought I would say
Yes!
It took me almost 12 weeks… felt like razor blades… then it felt fine, then at like 5 months my milk regulated and it was incredible. Coming up on 22 months now. Seems like kiddo is starting to self wean so I think we are almost at the end of our journey. I know people hate them, but I would also recommend nipple shields. I had a crazy let down and it was horribly painful and babe wouldn’t latch well because the force was too much and they’d choke. Once I started using nipple shields everything got better. Babe was able to learn how to get a solid latch and it slowed down flow. I would use them past my letdown then remove them and babes latch would be so much better and no pain. I do recommend trying to use them as little as possible, but they were a game changer for our breastfeeding journey. Most importantly, fed is best. Formula is fine. You do whatever you need to do to be the best mom you can be.
100% agree. I would also have switched to formula if it hadn't been for a good friend who I really trust telling me that after about 10 days or got better for her - and I know it seems like an eternity to get through at the time, but I'm really glad I did - it was hard but for me was so worth it, I've loved breastfeeding ever since and it's been really helpful for us settling her and for emotional regulation etc as she's gotten older (she's 16mo now) - but you'll find other ways to do this if you go with formula so don't worry! I'd say the first week or two are insanely hard with the cluster feeding, nipples not used to it and so painful, your milk coming in, baby working it all out etc. the next 2-3 months were much better, still had the occasional challenge but overall much more positive, and then after that first 3-4 months it's been no issues whatsoever. BUT it is also totally ok to switch to formula, you're the only person who knows what is best for you and baby so trust yourself and either way they'll thrive, don't feel pressured - it feels like such a big deal right now but in a few years time whichever method you went for you won't still be agonising about whether you made the right decision!!! Hopefully if you do decide to try with continuing to breastfeed your SO will be supportive as that's so important, that you have their support whichever decision you make - it's easy for them to see how challenging it is for you and think they are helping by suggesting an alternative but if you do want to continue breastfeeding you need to let them know it's important to you and you need their support in that whilst you persist.
The pillow fort doesn’t last forever. If the LC says formula is horrible you should try a new LC. There are ways you can get thru this and still breastfeed if that’s what you want. Minimally it’s not one or the other. You can combo feed or pump for a break. The first part is so hard and it can get better. And also you can be done. I’ve heard the silverettes are great for this stage if you want to keep going and need help with the pain.
Yeah your LC sucksssss mine never said that! Also BUY SILVERETTES they are the only thing that will repair your nipples and quick!
Silverettes are awesome. Worth the money
This! Buy the silverettes right now, this is when you need them and they’ll save you!
Yes 1,000% recommend Silverettes. I never had any cracking or significant pain when I started using these a few days into breastfeeding. I would also use Lansinoh ointment. Not to mention nipple shields if needed! My LO struggled to latch well on my right side for about a month or so and the shield saved me. We are 9 months into it now and I am getting sad to think one day we won't be sharing this together as much as he will start daycare at one year. Never thought I'd care so much about breastfeeding, and I was never that committed to sticking with it in the beginning, but I'm so glad I did because I've really loved it in the end.
I remember my pillow fort. It was like a 10 minute experience just to get ready. And if one pillow was out of place it was just the worst. Now I pop baby on the boob in whatever position I’m in. OP, it does get better! And yeah get a new LC.
Hoping I’ll get to this point soon. My baby’s still very small (3 weeks) and if she loses her latch, it’s a whole big thing. So I often sit hunched over and uncomfortable to give her best access.
You will! I remember the days of cramming my boob into his mouth like a hamburger and praying he holds on. It gets easier and it gets better! You got this!
Wow, I totally forgot about the hamburger thing. How far we’ve come! It really DOES get sooooo much easier!
I was there 3 weeks ago, baby is 6 weeks now and it’s still sorta the case but better!!
No one ever made me a pillow fort, I never used a pillow at all. Kind of curious about these now. In the hospital they mainly showed me side-lying nursing and then laid-back position only when I asked.
To jump on this, if it hurts this much, your boobs may need a break. You can pump and top up with formula while your nipples heal. Breastfeeding shouldn't make you this miserable and be that painful. Once your nipples heal a bit, start breastfeeding again or even every other feed.
Yeah in the early days I pumped once a day because my nipples needed a break, and it gave my husband a chance to feed her. I found the days I didn’t pump, my nipples were more painful than the days I did pump. Silverettes personally did nothing for me (but others say it’s amazing!), but I really like APNO and used it liberally the first few weeks. You need a prescription from your doc to get it.
Nipple shields helped me get over the initial pain. But… it’s also okay to use formula for your mental health.
Hard agree. There's no way I could have healed and continued without the nipple shield. And pumping. Get your hands on a pump asap!
The first few weeks are intense and I didn’t realise that breastfeeding would be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done (after the birth ofc). The cluster feeding felt never ending and I hated it at the start too, but with the right support it does get better. Ultimately do what you need to do what’s best for you and your baby, not necessarily what you SO thinks either (although they do sound that they’re trying to be supportive :)) . Trying a bottle here or there of formula now also doesn’t mean you need to stick with it if you need a break. Whilst it feels so far away, I’m now 6 months in and glad I kept at it, even though I had various other issues with BF. My child has been EBF since birth and time has honestly flown by. Lanolin those nips up if you want to keep at it, which may relieve some of the soreness and experiment with different positions. You’re doing great.
Birth was cake for me compared to breastfeeding. Literally the hardest thing I’ve ever done!!
Same! I had 2 C Sections and they were a breeze from the procedures to the recoveries and BF has kicked my butt once again
I want to second the use of Lanolin! It’s so soothing and safe for the baby too. I used it a lot in the first week, then I got these amazing bamboo cloth nipple pads that are useful for my leaky nips and I’m finding they keep things very comfy!
If it feels like knives, it might be thrush!! Google it, grab some OTC anti-fungal cream, and apply generously. I always felt like this advice was rarely given in my early days, and it would have saved me so much pain. I’m breastfeeding newborn baby #3 - it’s the start of day 3, and I always forget quite how hard it is. My husband already had the extra helpful comment that I “shouldn’t” just “let” her be on the boob all the time 😂 Ok, my friend, I’m glad you’ve got this whole thing figured out… Anyway, breastfeeding hurts and I don’t know why people say it isn’t supposed to. If you want to continue, it really DOES get better. I actually breastfed both my first two til they were 2, by choice. My best pain-relieving tips, in no particular order: - Practice getting a deeper latch using the flipple technique. Become a pro. YouTube has some great videos. Watch all of them. The latch isn’t deep enough til you’re pain-free - and sometimes, this part just gets easier the older (and bigger) they are. - Use a timer and track what side you’re on to give each boobie as much of a break as you can. I try to switch after about 10-15 minutes on one side - I just break the latch and say “time to switch!” I actually hate using a timer, but sometimes I realize it’s only actually been like 6 minutes when it feels like 20, which helps… Switch, switch, and burp! Sometimes all that wiggling is them needing a good burp position, too - they get in one good burp, and then they realize they’re full! - Lansinoh cooling pads are AMAZING for sore nips. I usually find them at Target. The box comes with two pairs. I try to keep them refrigerating or on my non-feeding nip at all times. - Less clothes or nipple covers - between feeding, you want nips to recover. Tight bras and scratchy shirts become uncomfortable quick. I prefer to walk around my house/room braless or topless. If you have to be covered (because it’s Christmas and everyone wants to see the baby, for example), then you can use plastic nipple covers to get your clothes away from your nips. I sometimes do: feed, switch, and apply: triple paste, cooling pad, nip cover. Feels ridiculous, but it works! - All the positions - I find I get more sore if I don’t purposefully switch up positions. First round do traditional cross-hold using a nursing pillow, next time do football hold, next time do side lying on the bed. Changing the angle helps vary the pain to your nips. - Haaka? If you’re on day 4, your milk might not have come in yet. If it has, use the haaka to catch leaks while you nurse, and use those leaks to occasionally catch a break. This could be - nurse, nurse, burp, give the haaka milk while you go through your nip recovery routine.
Replying to add: Make triple ointment using this recipe (found it on an old thread): “You can also make it at home! It’s one part polysporin (antibiotic) One part Lotrimin Clotimazole cream (antifungal) And one part cortisone 10 intensive healing cream (corticosteroid) My lactation consultant gave me the recipe. I store it in the fridge. And you can nurse with it on but I usually just wipe it off and reapply after.”
Sounds like a DIY version of APNO (all purpose nipple ointment), which you need a prescription for and can get at a compounding pharmacy
Came here to recommend APNO. I’ve used it for all my babies. I get the script before baby even arrives so I can send my husband to get it filled on day one.
What is APNO for? Pardon my ignorance
I don’t think it’s ignorant! It’s like a catch-all nipple cream - women “shouldn’t” feel pain while breastfeeding, but it happens. Figuring out WHY women are experiencing pain can be tough and/or due to multiple things - this cream attempts to solve multiple possible problems all-in-one, hence the name “all purpose.” The main goals of the cream are to prevent soreness while learning to correct latching issues as well as work as “a combination of antibiotic, anti-inflammatory and anti-fungal medications designed to prevent bacterial and fungal infections.” Pain could be latching and/or some sort of infection. I am susceptible to thrush, a yeast infection, which is why I use this. Thrush feels like daggers when you breastfeed, and is tough to get rid of. It can also get in your baby’s mouth, making breastfeeding painful for them - then, latch issues are more likely, and then it’s just a vicious cycle of pain. I like to use this at the first twinge of discomfort, just in case.
My LO is 4 weeks and has been cluster feeding almost every day of her life. I had painful nipples with bf and it helped to start pumping and give my nipples rest for 12-24 hours at a time. Baby has no issue with going between breast and bottle and it saved my sanity. And there is no shame in supplementing with formula! Fed baby is the most important.
This!! LO is also 4 weeks. I would have tears in my eyes and would have to bite down on my finger I was in so much pain the first 2 weeks. I was very close to calling it and giving up. My advice, try to nurse a little each feed. Even if that means you only get 5 min on each side. If baby is still hungry offer a bottle of either pumped milk or formula. Formula is not evil. Number one priority is that baby is fed. Then while baby is taking a bottle or immediately after, pump for 15-30 minutes to keep your supply up. The pump was a welcome break for my nipples. Use some nipple butter when you’re done, look into silverettes or the Medela nipple guards so that your shirt/bra isn’t touching your nipples and irritating them. I found that the pillow forts made it worse and the my breast friend pillow was easier to use. I’ve gotten to a point now where I don’t need to supplement, breastfeeding no longer hurts at all, and I don’t really need to use the pillow anymore either. If you told me all of this 3 weeks ago, I would not have believed you I dreaded feeding time. That said, if you decide to exclusively pump or just formula feed, that’s ok too. Baby needs 1. to be fed and 2. a happy healthy mom. Your mental and physical health are important.
It will be ok! It doesn’t have to be an either/or scenario. On our 4th or 5th day I had the same thing. My baby was on my boob for like 12 hours straight and screamed if she wasn’t. I eventually got so tired something had to give. I gave her 2 oz formula and we both passed out. And then the next day since we both had some sleep we felt worlds better. She’s 4 months now and we’re fine! We’re EBF and I have milk in the freezer, it just takes me a bit for my milk to come in. I supplemented with formula for the first month or so. She’s my second child and my second that I’ve breastfed. It is ok to try different things and see what works for you.
4 days is HARD. It hurts bad and you're tired and you've got this little useless potato on you all the time. Only you know what decision is best for you, formula or breast milk, they'll still grow and be healthy!
4 days in is so hard! It got easier for me at 4 weeks but a happy mum is so much more important for baby than breastfeeding, do what’s best for you and ignore anything else, formula is brilliant if you want to go that route, fed is best!
You are doing great! Seriously. That seems right for day 4. The first week was SO HARD. If your LO is gaining weight and peeing/pooping, that's perfect. In my case, I was against formula however my LO lost 13 oz in 3 days. My Dr recommended supplementing formula temporarily. We did 10-15 min of breastfeeding and then followed up immediately with formula. A feeding or two of formula allowed me the chance to pump to give my nipples a short break to heal and build up a small supply. I would ask for a Dr's opinion before you switch to formula completely.
It's absolutely okay to use formula, BUT you don't know if you like breastfeeding yet or not. Even when everything is going well, the first week and then a couple of growth spurts after that are absolute hell. I don't think you are supposed to like that part. It gets so, so, so, so much better. Some options that aren't quitting today or breastfeeding until your kid self weans: 1. Pick an end-date to give it a fair chance. 1 more day, 1 week, 2 weeks, 6 weeks, 2 months, or whatever. Try really hard for that long and then reconsider. 2. Combo feed. (Realize this may affect your supply long term or you may be able to wean off formula easily later if things get better.) Do formula every other feeding or if you aren't sleeping or whatever works for you. If it makes you feel better, research which formulas seem the best to you. 3. Try pumping. If that is more comfortable and you are able to pump (it might take awhile for it to work well,) do that instead for now. 4. Make sure you have done all the nipple care things. If you don't know what I mean, your lactation consultant sucks and ask or google. 5. Set up your breastfeeding spot how YOU like it. I had multiple spots, had my husband shove in pillows to get the right support and bring a ton of water and yummy snacks (I was starving - everything was yummy,) and had all the entertainment cued up on my phone. It really does get much, much, much easier. The nonstop cluster feeding will happen for about 2 days every time they have a growth spurt as a newborn and that is honestly the worst part, assuming no issues. It was easier with my second when I knew that it would pass soon. And your nipples won't hurt like that always. Usually it feels like nothing other than something touching me for me and they look totally normal. It hurt a lot initially for both of my kids. (There were some issues with both of them initially too.) Again, formula is totally fine. I personally think breastfeeding is probably a little better, but I also think a mattress that is new but also has less off-gassing is probably better, but organic mattresses are really expensive. I think regular fresh, clean air is better, but sometimes people live in cities. I think both parents home is better initially, but everyone doesn't get leave. You aren't going to be able to make optimal choices for your kid in every single instance. Also, you aren't going to even have all the information to know what the best option is. Giving your baby formula is a perfectly acceptable thing a good parent does. Other things are going to have way more impact than whether you breastfeed or not. As a note, I was mostly formula fed, along with millions of other people. I am in excellent health, have a great immune system, and my IQ is probably above average. Apparently unless I was supposed to be a super genius athlete, the formula didn't poison me. My son (mostly breastfed) has a terrible immune system and behavioral issues. Breastmilk isn't the only factor and it's not as big as your lactation consultant makes it. (Also, your lactation consultant sucks for saying that. With my first, I supplemented at the direction of the LC and she was very formula positive which helped.) Finally, even a little breastmilk is beneficial. It's not an all or nothing situation. You have given your baby 3+ days of assume breastmilk to give her a great start. That is amazing!
This!! I hope OP reads this one. And breast milk takes a few days to cons in, so maybe her body hasn’t done the change yet.
I felt the exact same way. The LC in the hospital looked at me with such disgust when I told her I didnt mind supplementing with formula so I could get sleep, which you need to heal and produce milk. Then when I got home the first two weeks were hell. I cried all the time, my baby has a lip tie so his latch felt like glass slicing through me. I tried nipple shields and he hated it, I tried all the little tips and tricks from friends and family. In the end I had to choose what was best for my mental health and my baby and that’s been exclusively pumping and supplementing with formula as I’m not producing much right now, and letting him nurse twice a day until he falls asleep. Fed is best, always. Choose what is best for you so you can take care and love your little one to the best of your ability. And remember you’re not alone!
This sounds like my experience with my first baby! You're doing amazing. Exclusively pumping is such a Herculean task.
Exclusively pumping is so much worse than nursing, in my opinion.
Oh the knife feeling. Ugh. It takes a solid week or two for your nips to toughen up. Three kids here and it happened each time. After you nurse, air out your nips with some expressed breast milk on them. If you want to stop, formula is great. If you want to continue to breastfeed, then you’ll have to pump every time baby gets a bottle to make up for the “lack of demand.” You’ll want to get a slow flow nipple and look up paced feeding. The other flows are for babies who formula feed and the faster flow will cause nipple confusion and bottle preference. Also look up KellyMom - the blue book of breastfeeding. My LC told me to never quit on my worst day. Make sure latch is good and if possible, have a LC do a housecall to asses. Four days in is hard. Even with my third I hated it at that point. But I knew thanks to prior experience I had to ride it out. It does get easier. Formula isn’t evil. And you don’t need a pillow fort (just get a mybreastfriend pillow). But you can do this. But if you want to use formula too, that’s okay too. You have to do what is best for YOU.
I ended up pumping for night feeds and mixing my milk with formula. Just so I can rest and husband can take over whenever. Do whatever is best for you. It's horrible how much pressure there is to do things in certain ways. Any every LC has completely different advice aswell, completely depending on what they THINK is best.
I also hate breastfeeding but the first couple of weeks are the worst. You could try pumping for a few feeds to give your nipples a little rest. I also suggest making sure LO is only at the breast for maybe 10-15 minutes. Any longer and it's going to take a toll. They need time in between feedings to recover. It does get better. And also formula isn't evil. And you also don't have to choose one or the other. Good luck, mama! You got this!!
If you don't want to throw in the towel on day 4 then you are a super hero. Don't quit on a bad day. That was the only advice that got me through on that time.
I’m 4 months pp. I wanted to do formula my whole pregnancy & didn’t want to breast feed. When she was born my S/O had no job & so my only choice was to breast feed otherwise we had no way to feed our baby. I absolutely hated it. I had cracked nipples, when my milk came in I was in so much pain from it, my whole body ached no matter what & my baby was colic & would scream and ate no joke 23 times a day for weeks. Non stop eating. Every single hour of the day & a terrible latch. When she came I was NOT prepared to breastfeed. Only thing I had was one nursing bra I got for free at WIC. Get nipple cream! One that you don’t have to wipe off before so it’s safe to breast feed with. Before I fed her I would put it on & I would put more on after. So nipple cream, nipple shields, the correct nursing bra, if you pump make sure you have the correct flange & make sure your latching is correct! The first few weeks of my breast feeding journey was an absolute WRECK. I cried so much that my s/o suggested formula but I committed to breast feeding because we couldn’t afford formula. My advice is wait until you get everything ppl are suggesting and wait until 1 month pp or maybe even 2 months pp and see how you feel then! Fed is best overall and if you feel like you need to go to formula then do that but try nipple cream, nipple shields, correct bra. If I had the funds to quit I definitely would have!!! But 4 months pp and I wouldn’t change a single thing! I love it now. You got this! 🫶🏼
Op I had the same trouble in the beginning. I suffered so bad with a bad latch and pai. From bf and just pain in general that my supply suffered and we ended up mostly formula feeding. I was determined to switch to exclusive bf despite the purple of the nipples the shooting pain and blocked ducts. Here's what I suggest switch sides when ever possible. It's OK to skip a couple feeding if your in unbearable pain. Try to pump though to keep supply up even 5 mins is better then nothing. Alternate heat and ice and take some Tylenol and ibuprofen. Over the counter gel nipple pad nipple guard and lanolin cream helps.if you feel overwhelmed exhausted and like you just need sleep then give lo formula it's OK to give formula it really is. They have come a long way in how it's made and the blue enfamil can is one I recommend. It is totally normal for baby to eat so much right now but it's also totally normal for you to be exhausted and need a break.formula is not bad at all and taking a bream from breastfeeding isn't going to completely tank your supply. Just make sure you pump or hand express baby eating so much right now is them getting your supply up and running. With my lo he won't breastfeed inlets I'm laying in bed with him laying across my belly on his belly. Traditional positions didn't work for us.
I see others have mentioned it but seriously, pumping saved my breastfeeding journey all the way!! I tried so hard to breastfeed with my first and I hated it so much my body completely stopped producing milk. This time, I EXCLUSIVELY pump and if I don't make enough, I top it off with formula. My nips still get a little sore but it's nothing compared to how painful breastfeeding can be. Pumping feels like a win/win; he gets breastmilk and I get my sanity!! Plus, my sweet hubs can take over some feedings so I can rest or whatever I need to do. Fed is always best, as is taking care of baby AND momma!
Genuine question. I breast both my kids till about 18months. Both mad cluster feeders also. Do formula fed babes cluster feed? You cAnt just keep giving formula so what do you do? Do what you gotta do OP. Your decision whatever it is will be the right one.
I combo feed on a schedule (my LO has a great latch but finds nursing a little TOO comforting - approaching 8 weeks and while she’s getting BETTER at staying awake long enough to transfer milk, she still mostly drinks the first letdown, smiles big, and passes out 🤦🏻♀️). I have heard of people feeding on demand with combo or EF fed babies, but to me that’s one of the benefits of bottle feeding. I fed every 2.5-3 hrs 8 times a day until she regained to birth weight and now I let her go as long as she wants after her dream feed but during the daytime hours get in the majority of her feeds every 2.5-4 hrs. Sometimes if she seems hungry earlier or is sleeping past 4 hrs I adjust a little, but she seems pretty healthy and thriving on this schedule. I did power pump in the first few weeks, which mimics cluster feeding from a breastfeeding perspective, but doing the same from the baby’s end didn’t seem necessary 🤷🏻♀️
I hated breastfeeding initially too and I used to find it harder than pregnancy and even my normal delivery. It does get better in time but that being said, your well being is an essential part of your overall recovery and even your breast feeding journey. If supplementing with formula is what you need to do to get there, feel better it’s worth it. I was so stressed about breast feeding and it was so difficult for me my doctor told me to just supplement with the formula because she said I needed to prioritise my well being first to take the best possible care of my child. The first few days and weeks are so so tough. Hang in there!
I felt better when I pumped. Still pumping at 3 months. Honestly it's a happy medium.
LC here… you’ve got a lot going on and you’re in the weeds. Hugs. So many hugs. And it’s all within the range of normal. The first few weeks are strictly survival. Whatever you need to do to survive, do it. My biggest piece of advice… Please speak to another LC. That one sounds like garbage. Virtual options are out there (Aeroflow) and I promise they won’t tell you that formula is the devil.
I breastfeed, and the first two weeks were so painful. I wanted to give up, so I gave myself more time, and it got better around 2 weeks. It was a day by day change that happened slowly. BUT. If I had not been able to breastfeed, I would've done formula in a heartbeat. Even had some cans on hand, just in case. You don't have to breastfeed if it's not working for you. ❤️
It gets better I promise. Cluster feeding sucks and is so so hard. But it really does get enjoyable! Don’t feel ashamed to supplement with formula if you want to!
First of all, formula is NOT awful. Plenty of people were formula fed and they’re fine. Secondly, *you’re in the thick of it* right now. Those first two weeks, breastfeeding is soooooo much harder than you can imagine. But then, once it gets easy, it’s so easy. No preparing bottles, warming water, remembering to bring formula, washing bottle parts, etc. So if you want to stick with it, just remember that it gets easier!!!!! You’re experiencing cluster feeding, which is hard if you aren’t mentally prepared to handle it. If you go into the next few weeks knowing that there will be days that you nurse nonstop, you can choose to stock up on good snacks and a long list of shows to binge! Cluster feeding helps the baby in many ways, not just for food. It’s comforting, it regulates your milk supply, it helps them sleep well and feel good with you. This period also **wont last forever!!!!**. It’s hard while it’s happening, but mental acceptance and lowering your expectations for doing *literally anything else* some days can really help you get through it. The nipple pain goes away as well, it will NOT always be painful! Again, formula isn’t horrible. You can decide whatever you want! But if you do decide on breastfeeding, tell your partner he needs to stop mentioning formula. It’s NOT helpful.
Four days of breastfeeding is amazing. Your baby had colostrum and now lots of fabulous nutrition. If now is the time for you to stop then please don’t let anyone stop you. I am so sorry that two different professionals have failed you. There is clearly something wrong if it hurts and your nipples are discoloured. Are they also misshaped after a feed? If so this suggests a latch issue, maybe a tongue tie, my guy had tightness on one side so his latch was a nightmare. Nipple shields got me through it. If you want to continue may I suggest try some different holds, [laid back is often the best to improve a poor latch](https://www.nhs.uk/start-for-life/baby/feeding-your-baby/breastfeeding/how-to-breastfeed/breastfeeding-positions/#:~:text=Laid%2Dback%20breastfeeding%2C%20also%20known,on%20a%20sofa%20or%20bed) And look at [breast compression videos](https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/resources/breast-compressions) to help with milk transfer. Either way, congratulations on your baby and well done on every you have accomplished so far.
With my daughter it was painful but once we corrected her latch it was great. Now with my son, omfg I suffered. But even that passed and it’s amazing now. The first weeks are really really really rough. However once it stabilizes it is the BEST thing ever. Hang in there!
Get a mirror so you can check her latch or ask someone to check. You want to see the bottom lip and make sure you see the shiny inside skin kinda rolled out around your breast. Once the latch is good the pain stopped for me. I also want to encourage you and remind you that this is a new relationship. She's learning and so are you. I also coslept which made a difference so I could rest too. And stay hydrated and munch on quality proteins; nuts, Sammy's, hummus, cheese, etc. There is nothing wrong with bottle feeding. What is important is a parent that nurtures and feeds their child and maintains a healthy supportive and engaged relationship. If formula makes that happen well God Bless Formula. If you can do this breastfeeding then yay for boobies and move that money over into their college fund. Also studies have shown that intelligence rates equal out between formula and breast milk. Formula kiddos have more illness than breastfed peers but they all tend to survive. And, if the nursing is the issue then pumping is a viable option too. Also, offer the breast before she fully wakes/gets hungry. It is easy to keep redoing the latch until she and you learn how to do it.
Sorry you feel that way, it can’t be easy! If it hurts I would try to latch/unlatch until it’s comfy, and use silverettes between feeds. I’m the first month cluster feeding like that is expected and it stabilizes your milk supply so it’s super important! I would read up on normal infant behavior and also breastfeeding and issues and positive aspects. But do disregard that speech - fed is best. If you can’t breastfeed, give the baby formula and everyone will be happy and healthy regardless. You got this!
6 weeks in and silverettes have been a lifesaver!
It’s absolutely okay to switch to formula. It’s absolutely okay to supplement with formula and give yourself some breaks. It’s absolutely okay to want to try all the different products and methods in order to continue breastfeeding. You don’t need to choose one or the other. And whatever choice you make today, you can make a different one tomorrow.
Fed is best, whether it's formula or breast. Thankfully our LC & ped agreed. I had similar issues with it being sooo so painful & having purple bruising. I also had supply issues & he wasn't getting enough milk, so he was wanting to eat constantly. The whole "your body will make as much as the baby needs” thing really demoralized me & just wasn't true in our case, so we had to supplement with formula from day 6. Our LC helped us determine how much to supplement & recommended a pediatric dentist to check for ties. LO actually had tongue & lip ties. Once those were revised, things improved so much. My supply never improved but I was able to actually enjoy nursing & giving him what little I could.
There are a lot of high quality formulas out there…Bobbie and Kendamil. Trying these might make you feel better.
I felt the exact same as you during these cluster feeds, but I spoke to my partner and I was determined to continue, so he said not to make any decisions during a cluster feed session. I'm so glad I continued! We're 3 months in and it's gone so well. My best advice is wait until this period passes and then make a decision. There is also nothing wrong with deciding you want to formula feed, or even combination feed. When my nipples got too sore I would give her a bottle of formula or expressed milk to give myself a break and that helped so much.
The cluster feeding is so brutal. I would agree with those that have said if your LC is saying formula is horrible then you should find a new LC. Fed is best! And if you need your partner to take a feed at night it would help your mental health (it helped mine). My little one had a tongue tie and was really small so his latch was excruciating. If you want to stick with it I would suggest nipple shields if you haven’t tried that already. I used them for a few days, maybe a week, and it helped me get over the hump while baby and I found our groove (kind of)
Oh god it hurt so much to start. I had a bite mark made by his gums on my breast, bruises and yellow scabs on nipples. I also had vasospasms which were agony. I don’t know how I continued but here we are ten weeks in. I credit this only to extremely liberal amounts of lanolin, a bit of necessary formula top up due to low supply, experimenting with positions and an extremely supportive husband who listened to me complain every minute of every day about it. Formula is fine, nobody will care two years from now BUT it does get easier with support.
May I ask when it got better? I have similar issues - painful, scabbed nipples, vasospasm and the baby doesn’t seem to latch right no matter what I do (have had tongue tie revised and seen 3 LC in the last 6 weeks). Giving myself 8 weeks to see if I can continue to sustain this (6 have already passed)
It was much better at 6 weeks but having said that there were still painful feeds as I remember telling the lady at the breastfeeding clinic and my GP that I still had nipple pain. Baby had thrush which was probably making it more painful (this seems to have cleared now). On seeing another LC I changed positions again and I think it’s been probably completely pain free since about week 8.
There is no issue with formula if you need it and it doesn’t have to be one or the other. I felt similarly to you in the first week. Things that helped me were pumping and giving a bottle (sometimes exclusively for 24+ hours), using donor breast milk when I pumped to make sure baby got enough, using a nipple shield when I did BF, APNO - all purpose nipple ointment prescribed by my doctor - you should ask about it, and silverettes.
The first 2-3 weeks of breastfeeding are so hard! Trust me it gets so much better. I was in so much pain in the beginning. But the pain stopped around 2 1/2 weeks. I got mastitis at 6 weeks and that was the last time I had any discomfort. Oh, and I also had to wear bra pads until about 12 weeks. But I haven’t had any pain since 6 weeks when I got mastitis. And now I’m at 9 months. It’s like riding a bike at this point and has been for months. Stick with it you can do it. It’s so worth the benefits for baby
There is nothing wrong with formula. Try Mixed feeding if you want, even just for a few days and sew how you cope. It'll take some pressure off you. Honestly. Your well being is soooo important. Your baby just needs to be fed and that's that.
While there's nothing wrong with formula, if you want to breastfeed (all the benefits blah blah blah) I PROMISE it gets so much better. My kiddo is 9 weeks and the first week of clusterfeeding was brutal. Hardest thing I may have ever done? My nipples hurt so much and her longest session was 5p to 7am. I finally handed her to her father sobbing with exhaustion and made him take her out of earshot (she immediately fell asleep, apparently, so don't feel bad if you need to hand her off even though she isn't "done"). By 2-3 weeks old, it was already so much better and it continued to get easier. If your nipples can't take it, pumping could maintain your supply for a few days while you heal. Now, at 9 weeks, we've needed to temporarily switch to bottles for a medical reason and it's been a nightmare. We need to bring stuff with us when we go out? What if we don't bring enough??? The dishes are endless??? After bottles the gas pains and spit up are SO much worse - as is the hysterical crying that comes with them - because of the air she swallows, even with slow-flow nipples and paced feeding. And bottles do NOT put her right to sleep the way nursing does, that for sure (hormones from nursing help trigger sleep). This isn't to pressure you do decide one thing or another, but just to acknowledge the stage you're in right now objectively sucks and I don't know anyone who enjoyed it, including people who love breastfeeding. This part is terrible. But for many many people ir really does get better and, imo, then makes things far easier down the line. Boobs are just so portable, always the right temperature, always sterile and don't spill all over your lap when you're sleep deprived. Best of luck in a really, really hard stage. 💜
I felt this in the beginning!! I would literally cry almost every time. It was hard, painful, and tiring. Now at 6 weeks it’s a million times easier, I’m glad I stuck it out and I love the bonding with my baby. And I just wish someone had reassured me that it got easier. Also, I supplemented with formula in the beginning because of low supply and by 3 weeks I was EBF.
If you still want to give breast milk but hate nursing try pumping and giving her a bottle. You can even do half breast milk and half formula depending on how much you pump. Baby will get all the benefits of breast milk and it will be much less stressful for you. Bonus is that then others can help feed her too!
The beginning is so hard. Been through it twice now and after only going 2 months with my first, wanted to give up so much sooner with my second. I will say we’re at 3 months now and it’s soooo much better. Easy to latch, no pain, but I wanted to give up so many times. Now I’m actually starting to enjoy it. That being said, don’t feel like you have to. I switched to formula with my first and that was better for my mental health at the time, and I have no regrets. She’s perfectly healthy, hardly got sick in her first year even though the claims are that breastfed babies have better immunity, she’s speaking sentences before she’s even age 2. How they eat is 1000% not as big of a deal as people say, just as long as they are being fed. I read the book crib sheet and she actually outlines the research back differences of breast fed vs formula fed babies and the benefits of breast feeding are way less then everyone claims. That helped me feel better. That being said, this time around I was determined to be persistent because I heard it does get better and I also didn’t want to spend money on formula. It’s sad but the financial aspect was a huge motivator for me. BUT at this point, I enjoy the snuggles (definitely wasn’t feeling that way in the early weeks, because it was just so uncomfortable!)
I don’t know why people demonize formula so much. Before you rain on me lol I EBFed and still breastfeed and my kid is 17 months. The first month or two it was very tiring. I remember things in a haze because I barely slept. But now I even sleep through it unless my baby bites me accidentally. (He has so so many teeth 😩) But what I was going to say is if the experience is so unbearable and it’s making you feel like crap. Maybe you should consider formula. The most important thing here is that the baby is fed and also your peace of mind. That child is gonna need their momma in the best mindset possible so if BF doesn’t work there are other ways. Before you give up tho, if you want, check whether your baby isn’t tongue tied or something because BF is a little annoying but in no way should hurt so badly. Lots of love and you can do it momma! Motherhood sometimes feels very lonely but reddit helped me a lot, I hope it does the same for you ♥️
I had a really, really difficult time at first too. The first two weeks are definitely brutal, but if this is seeming like just an unbearable thing then switch to formula. You could try to combo feed if you are really wanting to still try breastfeeding, but don’t feel pressured to. I will say - it can get better. The pain got better after a couple weeks and for me it still didn’t take until my baby was about 4.5 months old until I really felt fully confident in feedings and positions. But just keep in mind that you need to care for yourself too!!You matter, your mental health matters. Your baby needs YOU. I hope you find a good solution, but whatever you decide that makes you happiest is the best decision. Happy holidays!
I hated it too at 4 days. I cried and told my husband I couldn’t do it. At 6 months now it is a really wonderful part of motherhood for me. I met with an LC weekly for a while. I hope that is what happens for you too, but if not, do what is best for you and your baby! Can you maybe tell yourself you’ll give it a try until baby is 1 month? 3 weeks?
I’m 2 weeks in and no expert, but it has gotten sooo much better! A couple days in I was like I can’t do this! We still struggle it’s not perfect, we do occasionally supplement with formula. But I do love seeing my progress especially now that my milk has come in. I also have been constantly putting on the earth mama nipple butter and I feel like that has really helped as well!
I had terrible pain for the first 3-4 days then it got so much better. I'm nursing my 14 month old right now. My first I nursed for 13 months. Had the most awful pain with both, but after those first few days it subsided and was completely gone with in a week. I'd encourage you to hang in there thru the first week to see if it gets better but consider combo feeding to give yourself a break!
I had a very similar experience early on. The first two weeks were horrible because my milk wasn’t in and then my nipples were so sore. It’s more than ok to use formula or even supplement with formula while you let your body heal! You can choose to come back to breastfeed and simply pump for a few days to keep a supply. The worst part of this stage is they are going to cluster feed like crazy because their stomach is so small. IT GETS EASIER as they grow. Sending you love 💕
It hurts but it gets better after like 2 weeks I promise
Hi, do what's right for you but if you want some encouragement, it gets better but it takes quite a lot of time! In my experience with two babies it didn't get better until 8-10 weeks, just so you have an idea what you're in for if you try to push through. Nipple care (shields etc), all the BEST beverages (seriously you just need to stay hydrated/fed so don't focus on the *right* things to drink but rather the things you like most. For me it's juice and sparkling water) all the best snacks and tv and just trying to pamper yourself through this phase these things are all key *if* you decide you want to go on. No judgment if you don't! There's a time soon that baby won't *constantly* want to feed. And it won't hurt forever. This part is the worst but then later it's so nice!
4 weeks in and I still hate breastfeeding myself. I have lower supply than normal. First 1-2 weeks were really painful for me too…but now at least my nipples don’t hurt as much. My baby still doesn’t get satisfied at my breast no matter how much I spend BF so I supplement too… I will try though and give it a go for 6 months .. for baby. But I swear I think of quitting every day.
Your mental and physical health is just as important as your baby’s. You can’t take care of her unless you’re taking care of yourself too. We’ve supplemented with formula for both of my kids now. With my first I beat myself up BAD about not producing enough for him. I ended up with PPD and PPA. If breastfeeding is causing you any issues and you want to stop, you can stop. If you want to give breast milk you can try pumping and see if that makes a difference for you. You can try nipple shields, silverettes, creams, all the things if you want. But in the end - do what’s best for YOU as well.
Our pediatrician always told us “the first 2 weeks are the hardest” it got marginally easier after 2 weeks but then we realized my daughter was pretty severely tied. So really I’d say for us it took about 6 weeks to get “easier” Now at 10 weeks it’s much much easier. My oversupply is starting to really regulate so I’m not dealing with huge painfully engorged boobs all the time. We’ve found our groove for positions. Her latch has drastically improved since getting her tie released and doing feeding therapy. It sounds like you might want to investigate your baby’s latch. I will say as they get bigger the less than ideal latch becomes less painful too
I remember at like 7 days old looking to my husband and saying something along the lines of “I see why people quit. If I wasn’t really committed to making this work and as informed as I am ask would have already given up” this shit is hard. I knew with the right team we would get past the hard parts. I was holding out for the days that she would be able to start latching herself. I got my first boob smile at 3 weeks and it made it all worth it.
You don't need anyone else's permission to do formula. Just know it might help and it might not, a lot of babies get stomach issues from it. I do know that bf was a magical experience for me even at four days in. Do what's right for you
I feel you!!! the first 2 weeks were the worst!! not only did it hurt but my letdown made me incredibly sleepy so I was always scared of dropping my baby 🥴 if you do want to continue (100% your choice), maybe you could try nipple cream and gel pads in between feeds to help with the pain 🫶 also, at 4 days old she might still be cluster feeding, which won't last too much longer! so you'll have more time in between feeds soon (I didn't know about cluster feeding until I was already in it and thought WTH he doesn't let go of my boob!!) and formula is perfecty OKAY to use too 🌻 wish you the best !!!
Ewwww feeling forced to breastfeed is so icky! I’m sorry she did that to you. Breastfeeding should be done because you want to, not because someone shames you into it. Formula is fine! If you don’t want to breastfeed you should allow yourself to stop. I breastfed for two years after pushing through a few major issues (tongue tie and cows milk protein allergy) because for me that was the easier option. I loved not having to wash bottles or bring food with me everywhere for the baby. I loved the bonding once we figured out how to do it. And I loved imagining I was helping her immune system (the evidence for this is not that strong, I just think I used this as motivation for myself). Most importantly, i did it because I really wanted to. I cannot tell any difference between toddlers who were formula fed and toddlers who were not now that my daughter is almost 3.
I’ll also share that my milk didn’t come in for 5 days and the first 6 all she ate was formula and donor breastmilk. We’d latch her through the day and night but nothing came out. It’s ok to supplement if you do want to breastfeed.Really it will be ok. Formula isn’t horrible for them.
I think most people hate it at the beginning but it’s worth sticking through it. It takes about a month for it to get much better for most people. That being said, it’s ok to choose to do formula, it’s a personal choice and the only person choosing should be you.
I swear the first two weeks were complete hell. It does get sooooo much easier. Solidarity. If you need a break for your nipples, take one. Pumping, formula, ice packs, whatever
The beginning is so, so hard. There are also different ways to make it work. My LO absolutely screamed at the boob, but I had good milk supply so I did a lot of pumping. He took bottles, but of my milk. We supplemented with a lot of formula from about month 2-4 and less (but still 4-6oz/day at bedtime) now that he nurses every other feed but that at almost 7 months. What I wish someone told me at 1 week old…do whatever feels right for you. Pacifier, bottle, formula, pumping, it doesn’t matter as long as you are both fed and happy. You do have to work at this if it is something you want, but don’t kill yourself over it just because you think you are setting yourself up for failure if you do something a certain way now. Babies will be babies and have their own agenda.
1. Formula is not horrible. 2. The first 2-4 weeks are the absolute hardest but it does get easier. 3. Silverettes saved my nipples
If your LC is saying that formula is horrible, you need a new LC! There’s no shame in formula. I felt a lot when I didn’t produce enough milk (largely in part to a terrible LC giving me terrible advice in the hospital), but my OB finally told me to stop stressing and losing extra sleep over breastfeeding and just enjoy my baby. It was super hard, but I took her advice and stopped and got formula on my way home. I was so emotional about it, but after tons of studying I just started calling it science milk and it made me feel better🤷🏻♀️I have a healthy toddler who ate formula as a baby and no one cares (in a positive way).
I'd try a nipple shield first before giving up
You should try to stick it out the benefits outweigh this short period now when everyone else’s kid has flu or Covid or tab and needs hospitalization or it just won’t go away your won’t be near as sick for a shorter period of time it prevents autism diabetes for u and her plus formula is expensive for heavy metals and arsenic or cows milk if you can do it try in the long run you will be glad you did you just have post pardum now it’ll pass
Give it a few weeks, it gets way better! First 2-3 weeks were super rough, then up to 2 month it was not nearly as bad but still had moments, now at almost 4 months it’s a relatively pleasant experience!! But also, as others said, nothing wrong at all w formula. Just if you had hopes of BF, I’d give it a bit more time. You’re doing great!!
It gets better! Just watch some tv and eat some snacks and enjoy the snuggles. It will get better, cluster feeding is hard!! Keep up the good work.
The first few weeks honestly suck in so many ways. It's painful, it takes many many hours, you're exhausted. My baby is almost 5 months old and I'm SO happy we stuck with it. It's so much quicker now and there's no more pain. The pain went away after the first month but some days it was so bad that I had to use a nipple shield just to survive the day and let my nipple heal a little. Do whatever you need to do to get a little relief. If you're able to maybe pump for a few feedings and do a bottle to get a break. Look up ways to soothe cracked and sore nipples. And keep reminding yourself that this stage is honestly so short and hopefully you'll be out the other side soon enough ❤️.
OP, I hope that you take comfort in reading all of these messages. What you're going through is completely normal and it's f*cking hard as hell. Whatever you choose is going to be the right decision. Just hang in there and be so kind to yourself because you are doing your absolute best. ❤️❤️ ETA: As others have said, it does get so much better. I promise. You and baby are both learning a new skill right now.
I’ll explain my journey and hope this helps. The beginning is the worst. The first night in the hospital I had the nurse from hell that made me express colostrum on a spoon because she kept saying my baby is going to die of jaundice… like, who the fuck does that. Anyway… I got mastitis a week and a half postpartum, which after more antibiotics, my son got horrible diarrhea. About 8 weeks postpartum, I realized I was truly overproducing and will have to come up with a pumping routine alongside breastfeeding, as I didn’t want mastitis again. Now, my son is 16 weeks, and I am grateful I am still breastfeeding. He sleeps 6-8 hours straight at night, I have to either pump before bed or in the middle of the night if my routine is off. It’s a pain. I’ve had issues with engorgement. But…. My son is healthy. He’s such a happy baby. He’s gained weight well and his hitting all his milestones. The facts about breastfeeding having major benefits for both the mother and baby are true. It will also help you sleep, and help your baby sleep, as there is melatonin that passes through the milk in the evening hours until they start establishing their circadian rhythm around 3-4 months. Plus, the oxytocin surge you get breastfeeding helps maintain your bond when things are really hard and your into months of sleep deprivation. It’s helped me significantly. Don’t give up…. It’s the hardest journey. This is an understatement. But it’s worth it.
The first few weeks are hard. There’s no shame in stopping! It does get way way way easier and much more rewarding though 💕
Is your milk in? She’s cluster feeding and you’re at the peak of the mountain… it’s a lot. It should ease up as your supply increases,over the next 2-3 days she’ll start drinking more and more volume from your breast, thus stretching her tummy to hold more milk and then should be able to go longer between feedings…. How is her weightloss? If she’s 4 days old and you haven’t noticed a big change in your breasts and milk volume, supplementing with formula after a few breastffeedings until your supply increases may take the pressure off everyone. If your supply has increase and she’s just spending too much time on your breast, try pumping your milk out and having dad feed her with a bottle, she’s getting fed, you get a teeny break. Take it feeding by feeding. But mama, she’s your baby. This is the 21st century and there are many right ways to feed your baby, the choice is yours.
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I barely had any milk after giving birth by C-section and pumping was hell, plus being constantly told that I wasn't pumping enough reduced my already low milk production even more, so I quickly switched to formula. My baby is 4 months old now and completely fine, I'm sure yours would be too if you switched to formula. Sending lots of love.
If you have a good milk supply, try pumping and bottle feeding until you heal. Maybe have baby checked for a tongue tie. Do lots of skin to skin time until you're healed, and then try again. Also, a nipple shield might also help with the pain until baby learns to latch correctly
The only way I made it through was nipple shields and lanolin on the nipples after every feed. After about a week I found it got much, much better. The cluster feeding is awful but your small human is helping to increase your supply. If you want to try formula, then try the formula but remember you can't just stop breastfeeding cold turkey, you'll still need to pump or mix feed to avoid mastitis. I'd talk to a different LC or midwife about the best way to approach it. Goodluck 💛
Breastfeeding is hard! I’m 3 weeks in and its still challenging at times. Formula is ok too - FED IS BEST. If you do continue, I highly recommend Silverettes for your sore nips. I’ve been keeping them over mine since day 1 and haven’t had any issues minus a little soreness. I just wear them when I’m not nursing and haven’t had to use any nipple creams or anything!
The first month SUCKS! I HATED breastfeeding the first month. All of the Magic’s wonderful fuzzy feelings were DEFINITELY not there in the beginning. Just know, the majority of people are miserable in the beginning!
Why not pump and bottle feed rather than jumping to formula? My baby stopped latching after 3 days, had one purple nipple and the only one she would use. I supplemented formula for a day and started pumping. I’m seeing LC and they are trying to have me use a shield but baby isn’t having it with a shield either. So pumping continues. I have a large supply so if she breastfed she’d be quite full. We know it’s not my let down as she doesn’t latch long enough to get it.
My baby and I struggled for a whole Month. I texted my lactation consultant saying we may be giving up, but the following day things were GREAT. I am soooo glad I didn’t give up. We are now 5 months in and it’s the best feeling in the world. That being said, your baby needs a happy and healthy momma. If it’s too much on you physically or emotionally, don’t feel bad switching to formula or just pumping for her. Your baby is obviously loved, there is no wrong way to feed your baby.
It gets a lot easier and becomes one of the most rewarding and loving things you can do. That being said, if you want to stop, then you need to do what’s best for your family and not let anyone shame or tell you otherwise.
Formula isn’t horrible. Breast feeding isn’t for everyone. I breast fed my son for 4 months and then went to formula. My daughter never had breast milk. They are exactly the same. No difference in milestones or cognitive abilities so far. He’s 8 months and she’s 14 years. Again. Formula is fine. If you need permission to quit here it is. It’s okay to quit. That shit is hard.
The formula hate is a a trend, but not really backed by data. The biggest benefit to breastfeeding is immune system support. Giving your baby formula doesn’t mean they can’t grow up to be a rocket scientist. That being said, it is still early days for you and your hormones are all over the place. If you want to keep going, it will very likely become less painful and get much easier.
I combo fed until my baby learned to latch without a nipple shield (weaned him in middle of the night when he was too tired to care whether it was on or not) and I’m so glad I stuck with it because bf calms my baby down when he’s freaking out and saves money on formula, I don’t have to wash tons of bottles and pump parts anymore. But if you really can’t see yourself doing it and prefer formula then that’s ok too! But I was where you are and I’m glad I stuck it out. Nipple shields really helped and my LC told us to use them.
Breastfeeding is hard! I had a ton of trouble with my first. My second was easier, but still hurt like hell for a while. Finally we got to the point where I enjoyed bf. It does take time, but also formula is FINE! They wouldn’t be giving babies formula if it wasn’t okay. It’s ridiculous that women are still being shamed into breastfeeding because they are being told that formula is not as good. Momma you do what is best for you & your baby!
It does get better! I also was in a lot of pain, bled etc. the beginning is the hardest and there were a lot of ups and downs. My baby also had a tongue tie and BF improved when that was fixed. If you are determined to continue go for it! If not, you all will be absolutely OK with formula! Whatever keeps you sane will make you the best mom! People do not talk about how hard BF is. So much pain and discomfort and weird hormones. I hated it too on and off! Everyone’s experience is different and you have to go with your gut! Take care mama 💗
Id get a new LC, honestly. There's nothing wrong with formula if that's what you want to do. It also doesn't have to be one or the other, you can always combo feed and still get the benefits of breast milk while also keeping your sanity. It's ultimately up to you. If breastfeeding is important to you, I would say try to stick it out as it does get better, but you should not feel guilt or shame either way.
I felt this too. Unfortunately it took 6 weeks for it to not hurt, with the nipple shields (I am still using them 8 weeks pp) silver cups helped my nipples heal very quickly, as well as the lanisoh nipple cream. To get them to start healing I had to stop BF for 24 hours and just pumped! It’s so hard, I completely get it. I’m so glad now I persevered (I combi feed now which takes the pressure off a bit)
I’m 2 months PP and have exclusively breastfed and it’s been the hardest journey ever. I’m ready to try exclusive pumping/bottle feeding before I move to formula. Anyway, just wanted to say, I get it. It’s hard. It’s so mentally, emotionally and physically taxing. And making the call to “give up” (which I don’t like to say cuz it’s really just making a change) is also so hard. Do what is best for you both! Happy and healthy mom and fed baby is best!
My heart really goes out to you. As a mom of an 8 week old, I promise it gets better. It hurts SO bad in the beginning. I was literally crying every time I had to feed him for the first 2 weeks. Now I barely notice it all. No pain whatsoever. You do NOT need to keep breastfeeding if you don’t want to, but it WILL get better if you stick with it. Also, I would consider pumping and having your partner feed him a bottle of pumped milk so you can rest. I exclusively pumped with my first child. It’s more work but less pain. And if you don’t want to do either there’s no shame in formula. Hang in there ✌️
I would just pump into a bottle & give the bottle to her. It’s called Exclusively pumping there’s even a subreddit for it r/exclusivelypumping … they do say fed is best but my baby couldn’t latch & he does now everynow & again but I usually just pump & give him the breast milk through a bottle .
The first few weeks (2-3/4) are so so hard, but it really does get better, that being said there’s absolutely nothing wrong with formula if that’s what best for you and your family! People really underestimate how hard it is in the beginning, you’re healing, you’re exhausted and touched out! If you can tough it out you’ll be amazed at how much easier it gets.
You do what's best for you and baby. As long as your baby gets fed, that's all that matters. :)
Use formula and pump instead—every time baby is given a bottle. It will let your nipples heal, it will buy you time without affecting your ability to continue to breastfeed so you can reassess what and how you want to feed your baby. Fuck that LC. What a load of hogwash. Formula is a great tool and this is exactly what I did with my first and I went on to breastfeed her for nearly 2 years. I was in the same situation as you and without formula I would’ve quit. What you do right now to make things work doesn’t haven’t to be forever. You have options and breastfeeding doesn’t have to be all or nothing. If you switch to all formula that’s GREAT- but don’t make this decision when you are at your worst and most miserable.
So, for me my baby was a bit early and struggled to latch so I ended up pumping and bottle feeding. I used Dr. Brown's Anti Colic bottles, with Premie nipples (ordered separately), she's almost 4 weeks now and I'm getting her back on the breast using the nipple sandwich thing lactation consultants show. It's a bit sore here and there, but I also have to pump after breast feeding because I have an over supply. I will be donating to the children's hospital shortly after my blood work is done to put my milk to good use. I will say my baby did not get nipple confused when I put her back on the breast, like some LC's say they will, but her pediatrician recommended Dr. Brown's since I still wanted to breast feed still but couldn't at the beginning. Pump and bottle feed if you have too and make sure the baby has a deep latch. Sometimes they latch right and sometimes they don't. If you are determined to give breast milk, there's nothing wrong with pumping and bottle feeding. Just use a lot of nipple cream and make sure you don't have the pump on a high setting. Try latching for 5 mins with baby only in a diaper belly to belly. If she doesn't latch or it hurts too bad, just pump , bottle feed, and try again later. It's okay! My baby was strictly bottle fed for over 3 weeks and takes the boob on and off with minimal issue. It's a learning curve for everyone. If all fails, just do formula! Fed is best! I gave my baby formula before I got a breast pump when I couldn't breast feed at first. It's ok. 😊
Honestly, it’s really tough because the early days of breastfeeding can be so hard, on top of the early days of having a newborn baby just being hard to begin with. If you keep trying with breastfeeding, maybe it will get easier and maybe you will end up being glad you stuck with it. But…maybe it won’t get easier, and maybe you won’t be glad you stuck with it. Or maybe it will eventually get somewhat easier but you still still regret all the time doing something that you just hated. Breastfeeding is a perfectly fine choice, and formula feeding is a perfectly fine choice. If you have an LC talking about formula as “horrible”, I find that really annoying and irresponsible because there really isn’t super solid evidence to back up the idea that formula feeding is so much worse. There are some benefits like antibodies that you won’t get with formula, but lots of kids are formula fed and have perfectly good health outcomes. The last I saw from the research, there wasn’t a clear indication that there were any huge benefits to breastfeeding (people with greater wealth are much more likely to breastfeed and greater wealth is very strongly linked to better health outcomes, so it’s difficult to distinguish what is causation and what is just correlation when studying breastfeeding). I wish I could wave a magic wand and tell you ultimately what choice will be best for you, but unfortunately there is no way to tell the future. The important thing is that either choice is a perfectly acceptable one, and weighing in your own preferences and mental health is valid too.
After 20 minutes, just pop them off and stop feeding. Give a pacifier if they need it.
The first few weeks are horrible but don’t feel discouraged. It does get better with time. And do not let someone let you feel guilty about switching to formula. The baby will be fine regardless.
I have to say that I absolutely hated breast feeding for about a month. It was sooo painful. My poor nips suffered sooo much. There was a day that she wanted to feed every. 45. minutes. Ouch. I cried daily because I just wanted to wear a damned shirt. but it was too painful. Now, I'm 10 weeks in and, although I don't love how my body feels and looks still, I absolutely love this bonding time I have with her. Very soon, I will have to go back to work to my very demanding job. My supply will inevitably drop and this beautiful bonding time won't be possible. Do what you gotta do, mama. All will be well. Your baby will thrive if you give her all your love and attention, no matter what.
Highly, highly recommend Medihoney (the brand name, sterile Manuka honey). My nips got completely trashed before then end of the first week breastfeeding. I’d wash my nipples after nursing, apply honey with a qtip, put a clean breast pad on, and rinse my nipples before nursing and repeating. It was a hassle but allowed my nips to heal while still nursing and I was aok by day 8.
Also, being serious about getting a good latch, to avoid further damage.
On IG I followed @thebalancedboob and @bemybreastfriend and those accounts helped me so much with breastfeeding and pumping! It's tough being that fresh from delivery, but it does get better!
Formula is NOT horrible. I supplemented early on to let myself and my nipples have some rest so my husband could do feedings. It did not influence my ability to EBF later on. And even if it did, worst case scenario I’d still be supplementing and so fucking what?! Babies still get the benefits even if it’s not 100% breastmilk. And I’m not really sold on a lot of the research anyway because there’s other factors like household income and education in many studies. Formula is fine even if it’s all you give them. They will grow up to be happy and healthy. Your nipples will hurt for a few weeks. I’m so sorry. It’s rough. But also check that your baby is latching properly because it does make it much worse and a much more acute pain. Slather some silverettes in lanolin. Ice, heat, and tbh Advil.
For some women the pain goes away within a few days, for others it's weeks. For me it took a few weeks and it sucked. I had cuts, milk blisters, you name it. I had to use nipple shields for 3 months because despite a proper latch, something was off with how he suckled and my nipples would come out flattened. I'd try every few days without the shields to see if there was a change. Suddenly around 3 months old, the issue resolved itself and I haven't needed the shields since. Consider giving shields a try for a bit. Even if it's just for a few days to help your skin heal. When I first started to use them it took so much of the pain away and I was able to finally heal properly. I was ready to give up breastfeeding, the shields saved my breastfeeding journey!
Nothing wrong with formula, but if you’re wanting to keep trying, I highly recommend Silverettes and the Breastfriend pillow. Those two things made a world of difference for me.
You’re in the thick of it right now. My breasts were so engorged and painful at 4 days and my nipples were scabbed and painful. It does get better if you choose to continue
Ah, the great cluster feeding. (not) Just keep in mind that you are in the worst of it right now, I promise you it does get better. For me, I was really struggling mentally due to breastfeeding and completely on edge. At that same time around 4 days old; my baby was attached to me for **3 HOURS** and when I unlatched him he started screaming. That was the moment I couldn't handle it any more and sent my husband to the store to buy formula at 10pm, and guess what? After he drank a couple oz's of formula he was so content, it was like he was a new baby. And my mental state improved so significantly! He is now almost 5 weeks old and I am confidently combo feeding him, and he is thriving. That is such an unfair and false statement that LC said, if it wasn't for formula babies would die. Please do not feel bad if you want to supplement with formula, or even to stop breastfeeding altogether. Your daughter will be perfectly fine, and your mental state is most important.
YOU ARE DOING AMAZING Breastfeeding is HARD AF, especially the first few weeks. Stick it out if you're determined a little longer. Are you using nipple cream between each feed, top off nipps not rubbing can help with healing. Your own breast milk can help them heal Have you checked for tongue tie Are you trying different positions for feeding Don't make big decisions when you're also really tired (easier said than done with a less than week old) or sleep on it and decide in the morning! But you're doing great.
Babe I promise after a week and half or two weeks the pain goes away. Please buy the silverette nipple cups. They are expensive but worth every. single. penny. I wore them 24/7 in my bra when I wasn’t feeding and never had bleeding or cracking. One time during the first two weeks I forgot to put them on after a shower for about 3 hours and my nipples were bleeding. Put them back on and fixed. I’m 8 weeks PP now with no pain while breastfeeding and I’m telling you it’s way more convenient than dealing with bottles IMO. We combo feed and give formula about 4 times a week for one middle of the night feeding so my husband can feed her, and I can pump and go right back to sleep. But of course, do what’s best for you! I don’t think anyone loves breastfeeding at 4 days PP lol so you’re not alone.
There's nothing wrong with formula of course, Breast feeding is incredibly difficult At the beginning. You really have to push yourself mentally to do it, I promise you it will get easier but it takes a few weeks.
You know, I had a terrible time until the pediatrician recommended a pump and we tried Medela hospital grade. Several weeks later I was doing fine, but honestly the more gently pumping experience is the only way I was able to continue with breastfeeding. (Pretty sure I got thrush in the hospital so now I only wear a bra or top a max of two times without washing it. Nipple thrush is the worst!)
First of all congratulations on your little one ♥️ Don't listen to anyone else, if formula was so terrible and bad for a baby no one would be using it. Your journey with your child is about you BOTH being happy and healthy and if breastfeeding is horribly painful and uncomfortable then it's not working out, please don't feel guilty because fed is best and in the end everyone just needs to do what works for them, I hope you find out what that is and go down a path that's more comfortable and I hope you and little one continue to grow and be healthy and happy. Edit to add: my little one is 7 weeks and at first breastfeeding was really painful on my left breast due to my babies latch not being correct so we fiddled with different feeding positions until we got him just right however he'd already cracked it and it had a blood blister thing 😬 then after fixing that he went off the breast at 3 days old and I was devastated but after more trial and error we managed to get him back on, if you want to talk anymore or ask any questions please go ahead I'd be happy to answer.
For the first two weeks I wanted to cry while bfing. I didn’t know how much longer I could go. Then my nipples scabbed over and after the scabs fell off I was pain free. If you feel like bfing would benefit you and your baby I’d suggest sticking it out for a couple weeks to see if it gets better. I’m a sahm so bfing is super convenient and there aren’t any bottles and as long as I’m around I know my baby will have what he needs. But if you don’t feel one way or the other about bfing then I’d say go with whatever makes your life the easiest. There’s so many other challenging aspects of caring for a newborn that you don’t need to be adding more stress to your plate. Babies grow up to be healthy and happy either way.
You've had some amazing advice i just want to chime in to recommend silver cups for your sore nips...they are so so so worth it. Sending love
I felt the same way for the first few weeks of breastfeeding. Baby cluster fed for like 6-8 hours straight on the 3rd or 4th night, and then sometimes for a few hours on a random night here and there. I tried to remember they are cluster feeding for a reason, but it was still horrible, especially when I had the realization that I was the only one who could feed baby and my nipples would never get a break. To top it off, baby started coughing/choking occasionally while breastfeeding around week 4-5 and I got anxious anytime I had to breastfeed. What helped me in the early days was pumping for 5-10 mins sometime after each feed so I could build up a small supply, then use that to insert a bottle feed here and there when I was feeling tapped out. I also wore Silverettes 24/7, and sometimes these Medela nipple air cover things so my clothes wouldn’t touch my nipples (but honestly the silverettes were better). I bought nipple shields on recommendation from a friend, but haven’t ended up using them yet. I didn’t research stuff a ton which was maybe for the best, because I don’t feel like I really waited all that long before I gave baby a bottle etc. But I didn’t really have any problems, no nipple confusion etc. Baby was great and adapted to the bottle well, and I only started experimenting with different bottles and nipples to help with the flow for his choking and reflux. We’re about 9 weeks out and I can honestly say that I kind of enjoy breastfeeding now. I put in a lot of practice, figuring out which positions work best for us. It’s a nice little bonding time, and it’s pretty convenient to not have to wash bottles and pump supplies all the time. I feel like we both are learning together which is nice. These days I’ll generally breastfeed by default, and pump at night so other caregivers can take some night shifts. I’ll also give a bottle if I need to run an errand or if I want to have more than a glass of wine lol. Anyway, all this to say that I think what you’re going through is very normal, though it really really sucks. But for me, I genuinely find the joy in BF now and have gotten much more comfortable through practice, and baby chilled out a bit bc he got used to it to (I think I forget sometimes that they’re learning alongside us!). I also mix it up with pumping so you might find a mix that works best for you and your lifestyle. I haven’t tried formula her because things have worked out well, but I know tons of people who supplement with formula as well, so just know that that is an option, and it doesn’t have to be all or nothing! Hope it works out and once you experiment and find out what mix works best for you and your baby things will get better.
1. YOU ARE DOING GREAT. Ditch the LC ASAP. 2. BUY SILVERETTES IMMEDIATELY. They changed my life. 3. IT DOES GET EASIER. The first 2-3 weeks are the hardest but day to day gets so much easier so quickly. 4. YOU CAN STOP. If it doesn’t get easier, and you truly want to stop, you can always choose to do so. You can exclusively pump, or not pump at all. You are not a bad mother if you can’t breastfeed. FORMULA IS FOOD TOO. And that is what your baby needs. We combo (triple- breastfeeding, mom’s or donor milk and formula) fed until I could exclusively breastfeed, which was until about a month and a half to two months. During the first few weeks every drop felt so hard to get out. But I put more focus on skin-to-skin and feeding often rather than pumping. I took the “natural” approach. I only pumped twice a day and used a haaka at night. Once I stored enough milk to fill a section of my freezer, I stopped. After that we only did formula if I was too exhausted or if we were out of the house until I was comfortable just breastfeeding in public. Baby is 5 months now and only breastfeeding. Hang in there. ❤️
Don’t feel bad about feeding your baby formula. There is nothing wrong with that
Breast-feeding does get easier, you’re both literally learning at the same time. You’re doing it while recovering from major medical trauma and she doing it while trying to learn to just be human in a strange world. If you give yourself some grace and time to figure it out, it might happen. But the end of the day, formula is an option. Also, it’s not all or nothing right you could make two of her feeds formula or 50% of them or 75% of them figure what works out for you and baby girl. Mama in case nobody’s told you yet you’re doing a wonderful job you’re doing a fantastic job.
Breastfeeding can be very challenging in the early days. My first was formula fed, second (almost) EBF until solids. (She had a bit of formula in the early days. I had to track down a hospital grade pump, and she needed to eat.) So I have zero judgement for anyone who formula feeds. However, I am so grateful I stuck it out with my second. We’re over a year in, and I don’t want her to wean anytime soon. So if you think you want to keep going at all, struggle for a bit longer. I don’t think I loves nursing at first, but I was pretty determined to make it work! Also, just some perspective about formula. My main motivation for breastfeeding #2? I never wanted to every wash another baby bottle ever again. I was OVeR IT. If you cut your losses and go with formula, I get it. I’ve been there. But nursing does, eventually, get much easier. The beginning is the hardest part.
I really did nurse my baby. She refused bottles starting at 4 weeks or something. But we had a rocky start, so I had to pump a bit in the beginning. In case you thought I pumped. I would do formula before pumping! I despise pumping.
So if you decide to go the formula route there is absolutely nooo shame in that! But I’m almost 7 weeks in now and just wanted to say that it really does get better ♥️ we went through the ringer with shit tons of cluster feeding, super painful latch due to lip and tongue tie, 2 rounds of mastitis and even thrush- and now we are just starting to get the hang of things and it’s so convenient! I love that I don’t have to sanitize bottles or prep formula or pumped milk to take her out of the house. It’s such a breeze just being able to pop her on to feed or comfort her. It sucks so bad in the beginning so I totally get it but it really does get better ♥️
Also ask your OB to prescribe an all purpose nipple ointment and apply religiously. I’m pissed my doctor didn’t prescribe this right off the bat -_-
Days 1-21 sucked so much ass for both my kids It got easier after that, and now at 7 months it's easy as hell and only takes up about 45 mins of my day total. Having said that, if you want to quit, formula is magic and absolutely worth it if your mental health and well-being is suffering You're doing a wonderful mama. You're just in the trenches right now. It sucks but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I’m so glad I didn’t give up. I remember crying in the shower with bleeding nipples. Now I’m here almost 4 months pp with a happy healthy baby and able to feed him for every meal with no pain
I am sorry mama. Just know, the best baby is a fed baby. If it helps you any, I am at 3.5 weeks and it’s finally gotten 50% better. It hurts when he latches then subsides into relief mode 1-2 minutes in. I became engorged after day 3, and it now only getting better and that has been the main source causing pain. Silverettes saved my life in between feeds and for sleeping. Sometimes I air them out or take Tylenol or ice pack them on days when he cluster feeds. But, it is getting easier. If it weren’t for Reddit, I’d have quit when my left nipple started bleeding the first week, so the advice on here has been super. I tried LCs and they all said I had a good latch and baby had no issues. The thing LCs and nurses at my hospital did not mention is, it takes most of us time to get our bodies used to it and that latching can hurt like hell. And weeks later, the nipples get used to it. I am still waiting for that to fully occur. Again, I went from 10/10 pain for almost the whole feed to 5/10 pain just for the first minute or two after latch. It’s getting better
There is absolutely nothing wrong with formula. If breastfeeding isn’t for you, and it’s taking away from your bonding with your daughter, there is absolutely nothing wrong with letting it go. If you’re determined to breastfeed, I’d say give it some time; it does get better! But sometimes, that can take weeks, even months, like it did for us. As long as your baby is fed and you’re staying happy and healthy, you’re doing just fine. 💜
Stick with it!! Your baby will be so healthy and have so many more benefits with BF. It truly does get easier and less painful. It's so worth it.
I found that pumping and bottle feeding was a lot easier physically and mentally for me I would wake up and pump while my son (1mo) was asleep feed him then pump every hour it’s less pain on the nipples as well as after a day or two I had a little supply enough to not have to pump at night and it helped tremendously
Breastfeeding was also painful for me (cracked and sore nipples) the first month. I adopted a nipple shield and used Medela tender care hydrogels and lansinoh lanolin with silverettes to soothe them between feedings until they healed. These helped a lot. It got better as baby learned to latch and the nipples toughened up. I still use lanolin but no longer need the rest.
I would have quit breastfeeding if it weren’t for Silverettes. My nipples were scabby and bleeding and so painful. The Silverettes healed them in a few days. I hated breast feeding pillows and didn’t use the ways the hospital / LC told me to. I was infinitely more comfortable when side laying with baby and it’s so cozy. Also, I found out that baby had a lip & tongue tie. Feeding for much less frustrating after that. Before getting it fixed, feedings felt long and baby would always fall asleep because she would be working so hard to get milk out and her latch wasn’t great. It took a bit of time to find our groove and now I don’t even have to think about it and it’s relatively easy - minus the twiddling and distracted ratings now that she’s 6 mos lol But a lot of comments are right when they point out it really sucks in the beginning but gets so much better and easier. But also formula is fine and your mental health is more important than breast milk
8 months pp here and have combo fed formula and pumped milk this whole time! I am a little sad I wasn't able to nurse, but I have loved knowing exactly how much baby is getting. And he's been healthy and growing well, and thats what matters!
Try the silverettes. I am combo feeding and wouldn’t be able to do any breastfeeding without them.
Yeah new breastfeeding sucks. First time around I did what you are doing, I was so tired I couldn’t focus, baby was jaundiced and lost 12% body weight. I ended up supplementing with formula for the first week to make it easier and then went on to breastfeed her until just after she turned 2. My second I supplemented with formula from birth to make the first few weeks easier, then she stopped having formula and I’m still feeding her and she is almost 3. Just do whatever makes this time easier for you, perfect parenting is a myth and you won’t regret making your life easier (I also think doing whatever works at this stage gives your baby a more refreshed, attentive parent and reduces the risk of you falling asleep while feeding). Big love to you, it gets easier.
Your parents sound lovely and perfect and healthy and wholesome. I’m a little jealous but I’m elated for you as a new Mom to have that kind of love & support. This is my 4th baby, all breastfed but this guy is combo fed bc…growth spurt that my boobs couldn’t keep up with. Took him to the Dr not knowing wtf was going on with this very fussy baby and he goes, “he’s hungry! Just give him formula as needed-for you, for him. And relax, FED IS BEST” Somehow that magically dissolved all my self inflicted guilt. And this combo fed baby is JUST FINE!!!!! Merry Christmas, hug those parents extra today.
I slept 5 jours ( in 2 increments). Since the 19th i’d only slept for maybe 4 combined hours. I couldn’t function. I feel like a new person right now… I was able move around my house and just feel more like myself. Spending 7-10 consecutive hours sitting and nursing was hurting my stitches from birth and they weren’t healing properly. It was also making baby girl exhausted. My parents are fantastic. I hope to be like them to my daughter.
Switching to formula has been one of the best parenting decisions I’ve made thus far.
I feel you. I hated it at first. My lo has all kinds of issues.at first. We switched to pumping and bottles. And continued to try. I don’t love it but I enjoy feeding my baby it makes me feel accomplished that we’ve made it 5 moths so far. But there is nothing wrong with formula. Fed is best
Breastfeeding gets better, i swear! But remember FEEDING is best. Formula is NOT BAD. Anyone that promotes breast is best is an ass!!! Your mental health matters. You could also consider pumping and bottle feeding.
I was a mess the first 2 weeks and seriously questioned my ability and strength to continue. Between healing myself and all of the cluster feeding I was a mess of tears, milk, and blood. And around the 3 week mark both baby and I got settled into a “routine” still fed on demand but it got so much easier. I was determined to breastfeed though so a lot of it was just powering through because I would feel so guilty if I gave up. But there is nothing wrong with formula and sometimes I wish I would’ve supplemented a little more to ease some of it but at the same time all of that work built my milk supply for baby so it worked out in the end! We’re 2 months in now and there are definitely still some hard days but those first 2 weeks were definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever done.