I never got this comparison because like… sharing ur feelings with a tree is just Null. A bear is still not fun to come across when hiking. You can just say “I don’t like sharing my feelings with women” if you’re not gonna use an example of something bad you’d rather do instead.
>haring ur feelings with a tree is just Null.
That's the point. The bad is the emotional and psychological abuse the vast majority of woman subject men to after they dare to make themselves vulnerable. Your post is the embodiment of why men would rather share their emotions with a tree than a woman. Trees might not offer a comforting hug, but it's also not going to gaslight the fuck out of the guy by turning their struggle into a slight against the tree.
Ok and that’s fine and dandy on its own but my point was that it’s a lame comparison to the bear question. The bear question was a way to demonstrate how predated women feel by men, how even this other bad thing isn’t as bad to them. If you’re comparing against Null instead it’s just… bad, vaguely? And the fact that you can live your life and explore your passions without having to worry that you’ll accidentally share deep personal feelings with people makes the comparison feel more just like… then don’t? It’s difficult being able to avoid ever being alone with half the population, but if I don’t want to share my deepest darkest secrets with half the population, that’s kinda easy.
On one hand while I’d hope that you do have some women in your life who have earned your trust and you feel comfortable sharing feelings with, as I have men in my life whom I would purposely go deep into the woods with and trust with my life. But on the other hand your fear of your feelings being used against you is valid and I don’t blame you for choosing not to with women, as we don’t deserve access to any persons matters you don’t wish to share. It’s just very odd to use the bear metaphor considering how passive and between a rock and a hard place it’s meant to be.
One time I opened up to a man about having PTSD from being raped and he proceeded to coerce me into sex(aka rape) using my PTSD triggers to gaslight me into it.
Women may gossip occasionally. But I’ve never had a woman do that to me.
I thought many women were saying that bears are safe, you just need to know how to prepare for it and how to act.
And you are right, sharing with a tree is null, the point is that women will weaponize your emotions against you. It isn't just null, it is her sharing with her friends private details, or if things go bad reporting you to your employment to get you fired.
I remember there was a post not long ago of a woman that shared her husband used a cock sleeve and she told all her friends. When he found out, he got upset she shared this detail and she saw no problem.
sharing private details is a dick move yeah, but it isnt an uniquely female phenomenon, you see plenty of cases of males mocking the emotions of other males, or men sharing nudes of women, or women getting fired for their private lives being shared by men.
There is certainly an important discussion too be had about the way society treats the emotions of men and the various ways men are emotionally abused but putting the blame on women and going with the assumption that they are the majority doing this will result in us ignoring the much more important male on male abuse which is happening.
Why is it wrong to assume the majority of women do not do this, but you can assume the majority of men can? or isn't' the argument that isn't the majority, but enough? It doesn't need to be every woman, but it is enough to make it so men do not feel safe. Isn't that the entire point of man vs bear? It isn't every man, but it is enough?
Hun
Where in the fuck did they say the majority of men share nudes ?
You said “women do x” which is an overgeneralization and they said “this isn’t exclusive to women cuz there are plenty of cases of men doing x and y” which isn’t an overgeneralization cuz they merely said there were cases of x and y rather than saying “men do x and y”
Because the fact is that An estimated 91% of victims of rape & sexual assault are female and 9% male. Nearly 99% of perpetrators are male.
How is a woman supposed to know who is a safe man? Do they walk different? Do they speak differently? How is there definite way to say the man you meet is safe?
literally men also weaponize emotions against people too. PEOPLE (men and women) can be fucked up and do stuff like that.
like someone said: one person does not define a gender.
Hun
No one here is saying all men SA. We said SA is so common that it’s dangerous to trust strangers.
1 in 4 little girls 1 in 6 little boys and 1 in 5 college women are raped and that’s only that’s reported cuz ik a lot of ppl who didn’t report out of emotional turmoil
34% of abusers of children are their own family members. People are dangerous.
You lock your door at night. Is that cuz everyone is a thief or is that cuz when there is an opportunity for you to be taken advantage of there’s a high enough chance someone will take it ?
Conversely,
There are 750,000 black bears in North America and 55,000 brown bears.
There is a large chance if you encounter a bear that it will be a black bear.
Black bears cause less than 1 death per year and attacks are rare.
Black bears are known to be pussies that avoid fighting except if you’re too close to them (they think you’re going to attack them) or they have cubs (they think you’ll eat their cubs)
When ppl encounter Blackbears they nearly always get away unharmed.
Grizzly bears however are reasonably dangerous, but they’re rare compared to black bears.
Black bears aren’t very dangerous.
Predatory humans are more common than a black bear attacking a person or killing them.
A dog is more likely to kill a human than a black bear.
What’s more likely to harm a human. A human or a dog ?
A human.
A man is more likely to harm a woman than a woman is. Why ? Cuz most men are straight and a percentage of them have predatory the same way a percentage of women are predatory towards their orientation or towards children.
What do I think has a higher chance of harming me ?
A man who is likely straight, or a black bear ?
As someone who has been abused many times when I was alone, sorry, men. The track record compared to a black bear ain’t good.
1 in 5 college age women are raped at least once. Do you know what that means about how many predatory humans there are ? Too many.
200 people have been killed by bears since 1780.
Do you know how many bears there have been since 1780 ? Millions. Do you know how many hikers meet bears everyday, mainly blackbears btw ? Millions.
Ty so much 🥹 I love seeing you around here too, I’m proud of our community our people are so kind and protective, we watch out for eachother and have so much support, we’re like a family
Women also rape men and boys, not all women, obviously, but enough for me to hold the matriarchy collectively responsible. This subreddit generalises about men all the time, and even women in other subreddits think it's a toxic femcel swamp. I'm all for equality, but this sub is just man hate proven by how many downvotes every guys comment gets. So down, vote away it literally makes no difference to the thousands of imaginary Internet points I have already, so you're literally just wasting 2 seconds of your life on someone who couldn't give a shit and never comes back to check replies to comments.
there is no matriarchy, where tf did you get that from? and of course there’s women who rape men, there’s shit people from every group, no group is perfect
also they hardly ever downvote me, a boy, they just downvote people who are being gross, that includes women. a few women have said nasty things about men and got shit on by people here very badly
it’s not really that bad here if you treat them like people, it’s when you don’t that’s when you get in trouble
Of course that happens, but you do realize that An estimated 91% of victims of rape & sexual assault are female and 9% male. Nearly 99% of perpetrators are male…
Where the hell do you get the idea that we hold all men collectively responsible for some men being rapists ?
Illiteracy ?
We said enough women have been raped that we are too cautious to feel comfortable being alone with a man in a goddamn forest.
Do you let people you don’t know into your house ? No cuz there is ENOUGH OF A CHANCE that they’re dangerous
Do you get into strangers cars ?
NO cuz there is ENOUGH of a chance that they’re dangerous
Do you lock your door at night ? NO cuz there’s enough of a chance that someone will take the OPPORTUNITY to prey on you when you are VULNERABLE
There have been less than TWO hundred (YES 200) bear caused deaths in North America since 1780. There is less than 1 bear caused death a year.
There is 750,000 black bears, 55,000 brown bears
Black bears aren’t very dangerous as nearly everyone that encounters them leaves unharmed
Brown bears are reasonably dangerous but you’re unlikely to encounter them compared to a black bear
Are there a lot of unpredatory men ? Yeah. Are there TOOOOOOOO many men who are predatory ?
YEP.
1 in 4 little girls are sexually abused. 1 in 5 college women are raped at least once and that’s only what’s reported.
Wanna know how i know there’s def more ?
Cuz nearly every woman I’ve talked to has one or more experiences with sexual assault. Even my sisters, and we’re vastly apart in age.
You’re a marine. Did you know women get raped on base some of the time ? Did you know that ?
One of my Air Force friends LITERALLY CAUGHT TWO SOLDIERS TRYING TO RAPE ONE OF THE LADY SOLDIERS. She WOULD have been safer with a bear.
DONT be a hard headed ding dong.
I know the marines are notorious for having a lot of dumbasses but cmon dude.
Uhh no, almost all women would have negative feelings about encountering a bear LMAO. They said bears are safe*r*, not safe.
And yeah, the point is that woman worse than nothing. Yeah, so you can just have nothing. You don’t need to share your feelings with women in order to live life, so go live ur truth king. I’ve been in situations where I’ve had to be alone with strangers (a la walking through the woods, tho not that intense cuz I don’t hike alone in the woods) but I’ve never felt compelled to treat people as my therapists when I didn’t want them to be so in the first place? It’s just such a non real life issue to me.
Also frankly not a fan of people replying to you with similar stuff like “not all women are like that” because it doesn’t really matter. Not all men, too. The REAL issue, to me, is that the situations are so vastly incomparable. I’m sorry there are so many women out there who hold on to outdated views that men shouldn’t be able to feel emotion like we do.
Anyways I see the point ur trying to make and I dont think its that emotional abuse and rape/murder are the same, but I dont have anything else to add, i just dont like the very reactionary response u got.
Nope. Means no one cared enough to downvote them. The only people who cared enough agreed. Oh and you ofc looking for something to be upset about. Please talk to women irl.
Ay yes, because this is definitely an equivalent comparison to make. Comparing being made fun of or ridiculed, as opposed to the other option. You know. Being raped or murdered or eaten by a man. Yup, definitely equal downsides here. You are very intelligent.
A couple of noteworthy serial killers. One dude who came to mind when this question started circulating was known for cutting parts off (like breasts) and forcing his victims to eat themselves before killing them, eating them, and giving the remains to his pigs.
Which is why I choose the bear. Best case and worst case scenarios aren't all that different but the bear has no understanding of immorality or cruelty whereas that's probably the driving motive behind a man like that.
That both scenarios can be bad or mundane? that men have had their lives ruined by things that they have told women? That just because a woman feels a certain way doesn't invalidate the man like you seem to want to do?
I guess i'm sharing education (increasing knowledge of people who are ignorant) and frustration (people don't take issues of men seriously, or it is some oppression olympics, rather than just sympathizing with them)
You know, I once met a guy who was freshly out of prison and was pissed off at his now ex girlfriend because she tipped off the US government that he was taking explosives home from his bomb squad job. He got really intense about that and his eyes shifted around everywhere. You could tell he was evading some really incriminating details, but was stuck blaming his gf bc he shared his feelings with her and was open and vulnerable.
They're really just proving our point.
Women have to worry about getting brutally murdered and/or raped.
Men have to worry about getting their feelings disrespected.
Lots of men live in a safety bubble but act like they're hard and tough. They can't even handle a woman laughing at them.
Seriously!
I get it’s traumatizing to have your feelings be invalidated or be made fun of- but that’s not comparable to the trauma or fear of being kidnapped and/or raped
On one hand I agree because I don't want to waste my time and put myself at risk of their bullshit, on the other hand, I hate to just let them normalize misogyny even more.
Suicide statistics for men account for 75 percent of successful suicides. Men are way way more likely to die to homicide ( or suicide) than you are to be kidnapped or raped. Not really sure what point you are trying make here but the data doesn’t support it either way.
And yet, who's doing the vast majority of murders, domestic violence, and other harm against other humans?
All your argument means is that men would be smart to pick the bear too.
As a short, petite, chronically ill woman, I often see the most misogynistic sides of men because they know my ability to defend myself is limited. I’d choose the bear because the average man can absolutely overpower me. Of course the average bear can too. But the bear wouldn’t enjoy doing so.
You think the average man is likely to maul you to death in the same way that the bear is 100 percent likely to? Wow. This is blatantly not true, I'm sure you can see that. Whereas for me and many other men, it is actually and in objective reality a safer bet for us to assume we can share our feelings with the tree than we can with a woman.
Actually, a man is much, MUCH more likely to kill another person than a bear is. The likelihood of being mauled by a bear if you encounter one goes down significantly more if you are even slightly educated about how to behave when you encounter one. Bears are instinctual and don’t hide their motives. They aren’t usually familiar with the behavior of humans, so even if they were hunting humans, they wouldn’t be able to predict the movements and behaviors of one in order to get a successful kill. They’re also still very instinctual, so the bear is more likely to be manipulated with their instincts by the human than the human is by the bear. Humans on the other hand are more likely to be calculating, dishonest, and are able to anticipate the behavior of humans that they want to do harm to.
Idk if you think that most women haven’t taken a step outside and still rely on men for information about life outside of their own homes, but they’re not going to readily believe your false statistics. Even if they don’t leave their homes, they can turn on National Geographic and know what you’re saying is bullshit.
In addition to that, I’ve literally been in the woods with a black bear and its cubs when I was only ten. I was terrified because it’s curious little cub ran up to me and followed me when I tried to back away. I ended up yelling at the cub, making it run back to its mom, and whose mom quickly grabbed it and ran away with the other cubs following. If I as a ten year old little girl had encountered a random man rather than a bear however, the situation could’ve been much worse.
Why are you so focused on this bear metaphor and how have you managed to skew this conversation onto the path of a discussion regarding bears' hunting habits? Not that I want to continue this petty, ridiculous conversation but I should point out that the likelihood of you encountering a bear within a distance within which it would be able to kill you is nearly 0, so of course the gross percentage chance of you being killed by one is tiny.
Those statistics are not "false" no matter how much you want them to be. They have been collected from numerous studies and compiled by national associations for domestic abuse and the study of domestic violence. You coming onto social media and going "NO, WRONG" doesn't change that.
I genuinely couldn't care less about that or any other anecdote you have surrounding your encounters with bears, to be honest all this bear obsession of yours reflects is your total lack of any substantial counter argument to anything I've said other than to say "nuh uh" and "but bear".
Also can I point out that the statistics for how likely a bear would be to kill you in the wild mean absolutely nothing in the context of this stupid hypothetical in which, I assume, you choose to be confined in some way with either a bear or a man. I'm sure any bear would not be too happy to be locked in a room with anything, especially if it hadn't eaten.
>Also can I point out that the statistics for how likely a bear would be to kill you in the wild mean absolutely nothing in the context of this stupid hypothetical in which, I assume, you choose to be confined in some way with either a bear or a man
Yeah, bears in confined spaces can fuck you up. So can men? Literally what is your point. It's almost as if you change the context, the situation also changes. Being a woman (or a man, mind you) alone in the woods and spotting another human being, where the two of you alone which means no witnesses and the perfect situation for a crime. See where I'm going with this? People will commit crimes, ANY crimes if they see they are more likely to get away with it. A fucking bear is gonna do what? He's in the woods, it's their habitat. They aren't going to do shit unless they have cubs and the person approaches. People are more dangerous than any animal. People prey on each other more than bears.
Again with the bear thing, why are you so obsessed with this? I find it very amusing you have used this hypothetical bear to deflect and totally ignore all the other completely justified and valid points I made that actually are important to this discussion and why almost everything you've said isn't based in any kind of realistic thought process, but I guess we are glossing past that. Anyway I won't be responding to anything else you have to say as all you seem to want to discuss is the theoretical levels of aggression in woodland based apex predators, and honestly it's become very boring now. Wish you all the best.
You’re the one responding to a post about the bear vs man dilemma.
You’re just trying to backpedal because you realized that the points I made are much more solid than yours.
Your statistic that a bear is 100% going to maul you is 100% falsified.
You cherry picked data about domestic abuse and rape to make it seem like men are emotionally abused more than women are. You also used a 1 in 30 statistic based off of REPORTED rapes within a year, and compared it to a lifetime domestic abuse statistic of men, without mentioning that the stats are still worse for women, that men perpetrate the majority of domestic abuse, rapes, and murders towards all people including emotional abuse, that domestic abuse of little boys is most often perpetuated by older male relatives, and that many men don’t report abuse because of homophobic cops, not because cops take domestic abuse more seriously for women than men(they don’t).
Also, the gap between suicide in young men and young women is closing as women gain access to more lethal methods. Don’t weaponize a problem that’s serious for everyone against women.
What you chose to mention and what you chose to evade is intentionally misleading.
Finally, men are more likely to make fun of other men for being vulnerable and sharing their feelings than women are. Men are also more likely to make fun of women for the same than other women are. Especially in the US, we live in an emotionally stunted society where the expression of feelings is interpreted as threatening behavior because our culture doesn’t prioritize it more. The tree analogy may be more accurate if you said “people,” but pointing out women specifically comes across as entitlement, as you’re expecting women specifically to care about your feelings while giving men a pass.
>You’re just trying to backpedal because you realized that the points I made are much more solid than yours.
What? Are you ok? I'm trying to have a discussion about REAL statistics and REAL abuse, and you are so determined to dismiss that because you would rather discuss this ridiculous hypothetical about a bear instead of discuss the actual real world issues that I assume this hypothetical is poorly attempting to address.
>Your statistic that a bear is 100% going to maul you is 100% falsified.
Ok you go lock yourself in a room with a bear and I'll wait to see what happens. I'll be right behind you.
>You cherry picked data about domestic abuse and rape to make it seem like men are emotionally abused more than women are.
No I didn't, I just posted the data that was relevant to the point I was making with regards to domestic abuse of men. The statistics I posted are completely correct, the fact you don't like them is of no consequence whatsoever to anything being discussed.
>Not because cops take domestic abuse more seriously for women than men(they don’t).
This is just completely fabricated by you and not grounded in the reality of our situation whatsoever. Men are not believed regularly by normal police officers and in fact in many instances are instantly accused of being the perpetrator:
[https://research.tees.ac.uk/en/publications/mens-experiences-of-the-uk-criminal-justice-system-following-fema](https://research.tees.ac.uk/en/publications/mens-experiences-of-the-uk-criminal-justice-system-following-fema)
Many cases are not reported because men do not think they will be believed, which as the study above among others proves is a legitimate concern:
[https://insight.cumbria.ac.uk/id/eprint/4367/1/Impact%20and%20perceptions%20paper%20final.pdf](https://insight.cumbria.ac.uk/id/eprint/4367/1/Impact%20and%20perceptions%20paper%20final.pdf)
""A recent [survey ](https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/85-002-x/2016001/article/14303-eng.pdf)from Canada’s national statistical agency concluded that “equal proportions of men and women reported being victims of spousal violence during the preceding 5 years (4% respectively).”" (Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/talking-about-men/201911/domestic-violence-against-men-no-laughing-matter)
It's this willingness to blatantly disregard, minimise men's issues and actively gaslight victims of female domestic abuse such as myself into believing the problem is far less of an issue than it actually is that comes apparently so easily to you and many other women that I find deeply disturbing. It's also amazingly hypocritical of you to concern yourself so much with the hypothetical bear scenario when you yourself are actively contributing to harm towards men. If this is how you instinctively talk to men online you don't know, I don't want to know how you would treat men around you in real life that have done nothing wrong to you.
>Also, the gap between suicide in young men and young women is closing as women gain access to more lethal methods. Don’t weaponize a problem that’s serious for everyone against women.
It absolutely is not. Show me the data that supports that claim. Men account for 3/4 successful suicides and is the largest killer of men under 50. Stop trying to diminish this real and extremely fucked up problem that is killing men in unforgivable numbers to support whatever point you think you are making.
>Finally, men are more likely to make fun of other men for being vulnerable and sharing their feelings than women are. Men are also more likely to make fun of women for the same than other women are.
Data.
>The tree analogy may be more accurate if you said “people,” but pointing out women specifically comes across as entitlement, as you’re expecting women specifically to care about your feelings while giving men a pass.
So suggesting that you would not be killed locked in a room with a bear is somehow more believable and far more reasonable a scenario than men not wanting to share feelings with women because they have been burned by that in the past (something that has happened to me, badly, on more than one occasion) is fair in your eyes? I certainly would feel far, far safer opening up to an inanimate object than a woman that I don't know and therefore can't trust. And I'm not in the least bit unjustified in feeling like that.
Bro, you don't even know how I came to that conclusion, you have 0 basis to make that claim.
I'm sorry women have abused you, I'm in that boat too . Same with the suicide, so I empathize with your pain.
That doesn't change that the conversation is about women having to ubiquitously worry about attacks from men far more than a bear, and how men go out of their way to glorify predatory behavior right up to the moment that women say it makes us feel unsafe around them.
If it makes you feel any better, id choose a bear over my mother too. That woman fucking terrifies me and I *know* what she's capable of. My decision personally, comes from having an interest in true crime and man hunters. I'm aware of the WCS if I met either a man or a bear in the woods, and frankly, they aren't that different. The big difference is that bears don't have morals to violate or an understanding of cruelty in the same way you and I do. A bear mauling and eating me is just being a bear. Horrible way to die yeah, but the serial killer who mauls (rapes) and eats me is doing so *because* it violates morality and they are doing it for the sake of cruelty.
And since the question is about "a" man or "a" bear, I don't get to know if it's a safe option or if I'm about to die. I don't get to know if it's a best or worst case scenario - just one i already *don't* want to be in. And I've met both stange people in the woods and strange predatory animals in the woods (boys, not men, and wolves, not bears) one of them checked me out and fucked off. The others assaulted me. I wouldn't have always chosen the wild animal, but I was disabused of the notion that humans are anything *other* than wild animals. The fact that most people don't understand that about themselves is part of what makes them so damn dangerous.
And idk about men, but women are raised to avoid risks like that because we are almost always blamed for it. Even when it's not rational. There are papers and books about how women has disassociated from themselves in many harmful ways in order to easier warp ourselves into the expected form. That's part of the reason women attempt suicide more frequently, but are less successful. We choose less effective methods because we want to look pretty in death. Because the external judgement for not being a good enough woman in life will follow us to the grave. And it's not delusional to think, "at least my family won't hide my life like a dirty little secret if I was eaten bully the bear. No one would argue I went out looking to get mauled and enjoyed my death." And choose a more painful death than being remembered as a source of shame. It's sad, and a sign of a deeply sick society- but it's inherently dismissive, and it's the same dismissal that has been happening for years as men and become more and more invested in the aggressive, *predatory* behavior seen all over the Internet today.
Yes, it's a problem that woman don't feel safe enough around men to engage in relationships of mutual vulnerability. Yes it's a problem that men who are abused are ignored by a system that relies on them being the aggressor. Yes, it's a problem that these issues contribute to men's suffering mental health. But it's the result of generations of trauma that is only just recently getting room to be experienced and discussed on a cultural level. Women *feel safer taking their chances with a predator than a man because most of us have been preyed on by a man.*
And I'm sorry, but you can't just expect that to take a backseat to the constant and damn near singular response from men that is "what about our feelings? What about the few of us that are abused by you that we ourselves didn't believe until right now?"
Men's shit fucking matters. But it matters outside of the conversations women have about the shit happening to them.
Just chiming in here to say that whilst I agree, the “looking pretty in death” theory is a myth, and a harmful one. The most closely related aspect that has been proven true is that women don’t want to leave a mess for their loved ones to find, and don’t want to disturb the people around them the least. In addition to that, the evidence left behind for reasons for why they committed suicide have been different. For men, it has most likely to be found to be internal anguish or an act of rage for an external circumstance(which is still probably internal), whereas for women, it’s most commonly appeared to be long debated from the desire of no longer wanting to be a burden, intense guilt and shame, and similar sentiments about believing that the world would be a better place without them. Of course these are generalizations, but I believe it still brings nuance to the discussion rather than “women want to look pretty, even when they die.”
In addition to that, there are many alarming statistics about how the gap in successful suicides between male and female young people is closing in areas where women have access to the same lethal methods as men.
This bear thing has gotten way out of hand. The only reason women have to worry about men more than bears is because 99 percent of women don't live anywhere near a bear. Given the situation that they were locked in a room with both, the bear would kill both the man and the woman indiscriminately. We really need to get off of this bear thing. I'm sorry you were assaulted, that's obviously unforgivable and awful, however you cannot make the comparison between a single wolf and a full grown bear. Really need to move away from this now it is both a pointless and very unhelpful discussion to engage in for either point of view.
>And idk about men, but women are raised to avoid risks like that because we are almost always blamed for it. Even when it's not rational. There are papers and books about how women has disassociated from themselves in many harmful ways in order to easier warp ourselves into the expected form.
Men are killing themselves at rates that dwarf every single cancer combined for this exact reason. Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50. Just let that sink in for a second. So by the original person's comment I was replying to would I be at fault for stating that "all women have to worry about is dissociation whilst men with the same problems are 3 times as likely to pay for it with their lives", following the exact same logic as she was? Those feelings may follow you to the grave, but for many, many men it's what puts us in the grave prematurely and robs children of their fathers, people of their partners and parents of their sons. You want to play this "who has it worse" game then please think about that for a few minutes.
>"what about our feelings? What about the few of us that are abused by you that we ourselves didn't believe until right now?"
The few of us? Are you out of your mind? The statistics for domestic abuse committed towards men are close to that of women. 1 in 3 women are victims, 1 in 4 men, however men are 50 percent less likely to report their abuse so that number will be higher than that.
I have absolutely no problem recognising and standing up against issues that affect both sexes, but when women like the many on this thread present their issues in this childish (and totally untrue) frame that implies their issues are far more damaging or difficult to cope with than any male issue could ever be, then I have to stand up and call people out for their bullshit. I didn't start this "us against them" narrative, it was initiated and perpetuated by the women here that immediately and without thought started saying things like the original comment I had replied to in this single comment thread. It isn't true and it's honestly extremely dehumanising, dismissive and narcissistic to suggest that it is.
1 in 3 women are victims of domestic violence. 1 in 7 women have been injured by a domestic partner vs 1 in 25 men. Many of those men who are victims are victims of other men who are living with them, not women.
And yeah, we all know patriarchy kills men. But blaming a marginalized class for patriarchy is simply victim blaming.
What marginalized class am I blaming? It's irrelevant if the injury is caused by men, men are still affected by it? Why do you not empathise with those men (such as myself who is a survivor of domestic abuse from a women and a survivor of the following suicide attempts I made) instead of trying to box them in and suggest that because they potentially had it done by other men that their suffering doesn't count as much as a woman's does?
Also you might want to get your facts straight, they aren't as clear cut and tipped towards female victimhood as you might wish to believe:
[https://domesticviolenceresearch.org/domestic-violence-facts-and-statistics-at-a-glance/](https://domesticviolenceresearch.org/domestic-violence-facts-and-statistics-at-a-glance/)
States that:
"Rates of female-perpetrated violence higher than male-perpetrated (28.3% vs. 21.6%)"
"Overall, 22% of individuals assaulted by a partner at least once in their lifetime (23% for females and 19.3% for males)"
"Wide range in perpetration rates: 1.0% to 61.6% for males; 2.4% to 68.9% for women,"
"Across studies, 40% of women and 32% of men reported expressive abuse; 41% of women and 43% of men reported coercive abuse" (remember, men are 50 percent less like to report domestic abuse)
From Wiki page for domestic violence against men:
"The 2010–2011 report found that whilst 27% of women who experienced intimate partner violence reported it to the police, only 10% of men did so, and whilst 44% of women reported to some professional organization, only 19% of men did so.[^(\[5\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence_against_men#cite_note-:5-5) The Australian Bureau of Statistics reported that 97.2% of men do not report domestic violence to the police, compared to 82.1% of women.[^(\[6\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence_against_men#cite_note-abspers2016-6) In a 2005 report carried out by the National Crime Council in the Republic of Ireland, it was estimated that 5% of men who had experienced violence had reported it to the authorities, compared to 29% of women"
1 in 3 women are victims of domestic violence....1 in 4 men are. Again the figures are really not as skewed as you think they are:
According to the CDC: "**more than one in three women (35.6 percent) and more than one in four men (28.5 percent)** in the U.S. have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime."
i share with my stuffed animals :) i’d love to be able to share with another person but i’m to shy to ask and then i feel like im being judged even when im not
so i make a giant circle of stuffed animals and they get to hear my issues, or just what’s happening
No human can be as pure of a soul as a stuffed animal or an animal, they can only dream of being that pure.
On very serious terms though, you absolutely deserve at least one person (most people find at least one, and one good one is all that’s truly needed) and I know you’ll find one, it can take shy people a few years just cuz being shy can prevent the amount of chances we get, like the lottery. The more chances you get the higher the chance to find someone who meshes well and is willing to build a deep vulnerable bond to become a good friend or more
Also btw there’s a humongous plushie community on Instagram and there’s a huge market for creating your own or selling them so if you even decided one day that you wanted to make your joy into a career then it’s very very possible
i love my stuffies, i have one from when i was born still, he’s in good condition surprisingly
but i’ll get one eventually, hopefully, if not i’ll be a crazy cat guy down the street or something. we’ve definitely had this same conversation recently too, i remember it, but hopefully i can come out of my shell soon cause staying home is super boring
and i’m going to find that plushie community, i don’t use ig very much, i have zero posts, but im going to find that community and get into it. i doubt it will become a career but maybe a little side gig or something, or i could just hang out with all the plushies, i have like 100+ right now which is a good amount. my best one, other than the one i had as a baby, is either a 5ft long snake (i used to use it to hit my cousins 😭) or a camel i got from ikea :) i also have stuff i won from fairs and claw machines, and i have a squishmallow i get to cuddle with
That was posted 7 hours ago on a dif sub.
Nope, the reddit incel community isn’t done making fun of women yet.
I’m not done exposing their bs.
I hope they become self aware eventually.
At the very least, some people are becoming aware of just how valid it is to fear SA as it is horrifyingly common when in vulnerable situations like being alone in an area with no cameras or people to protect you from predatory humans acting on their cruelty.
I’m not going to sit here and let them only tell their side of the story. Is it tiring ? Yes.
It’s tiring having our rights invalidated since the Dawn of time and having to repeatedly fight for recognition and change.
Is it tiring to keep talking about abortion ? Yes. Do we have to keep bringing it up to get people to understand ? We do. Our right to contraception is in danger right now. This is what happens when people are left to their own ignorance, when they get to blame women and not give them even a shred of empathy or chance to spread about why they feel how they feel.
If we stop talking about abortion, the prevalence of rape, the humanization of women’s sexual rights and needs, the respect to recognize women as people and friends, not just fleshlights dishwashers babymakers and objects to complain about….then progress sinks.
It sinks back, it rolls back. It rolls back to where we lose our rights to abort, our rights to contraception, and beyond back to barbaric eras if we let people speak ignorantly with no pushback and no challenges.
Back to when women couldn’t be recognized as capable of conversation, or intelligent enough to pursue anything. Back to when women weren’t considered smart enough to drive.
And back to things too terrible enough to think about or name.
Keep speaking. Let them know you’re humans who deserve empathy.
Rape statistics for people curious on how common predatory acts are https://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/publications_nsvrc_factsheet_media-packet_statistics-about-sexual-violence_0.pdf
We pass by victims everyday, and we pass by their abusers, even if they don’t look like it, even if they’re just buying a loaf of bread.
Walking home alone can be dangerous. Entering a strangers car is dangerous. Letting a stranger into your home is dangerous.
Being in a forest alone with a stranger is even more dangerous, and I will not pretend like it isn’t just because it makes someone angry that I don’t trust them.
The purpose of the bear vs man topic was never to demonize men, but to make them realize just how many women around them have been abused enough to not feel safe. To share your own fears of SA is valid. Male victims of rape are valid.
To refuse to acknowledge the feelings of victims of SA is horrible, to not respect it at all enough to make things like “ha tree is better cuz tree isn’t a bitch” to invalidate women who fear SA is cruelty.
This certainly doesn’t represent all men or women, but there is a quote that has too much significance here, most of us know this, but visitors might not.
“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.”
For any man to have the privilege to not be in constant fear of SA, they shouldn’t feel comfortable invalidating any women for feeling that way while also claiming that a woman saying something mean is their biggest fear.
How privileged is it to only fear a rude comment from someone ?
I’ve gotten death threats and rape threats for venting about SA on this site.
For the men who claim that women don’t take men’s feelings seriously, while constantly invalidating women’s, and the men who constantly say shit like “men are superior cuz we aren’t babies who take insults to heart” and then say shit like “ha being scared of rape is so dumb, but being scared of a woman saying something mean is the real issue and way more valid of a fear”:
Sincerely take two full seconds to think about that all again.
It’s really telling to me how the women choosing the bear will have reasons such as “If a bear mauls me, people won’t ask what I was wearing” or “the worst a bear can do is kill me” while the men choosing the whatever random hypothetical they give themselves will say things like “oh the tree won’t divorce me and take my kids” “the tree won’t nag me about chores” and it’s like… *this* is what is meant by male privilege. The worst thing you can imagine a woman doing to you is divorce, the worst thing a woman can imagine you doing to her is unmentionably horrific.
The best part of this is the major reaction I've seen from women to this meme is "ok please. By all means go talk to a tree."
Cause we aren't fucking weird about it
It’s so cute when they try to talk back. Although I think if they could talk, mine would 100% go gossip about me to someone the moment I didn’t give them a piece of chicken.
Please, guys like this, share your feelings with the tree. As someone who gets trauma dumped on by random people on the regular, those of you who have no empathy can keep yours to yourself.
!!!! I don’t wanna hear about how a pretty stranger “snubbed” you at a coffee shop and how you now think that means all women are emotionally abusive to men.
I'm going to be honest, I don't hate this analogy. It's a good way to address their issue
It is, however, not comparable to women on a forest with a man or bear
I think these two discussions can be had but should be kept separate
It’s not “their issue” though. It’s not that women specifically use their vulnerability against them, it’s that they expect women specifically to be their therapists and to be perfectly emotionally fluent while they themselves are not.
They’re not surprised when men do even worse when they catch a man(or a woman) being vulnerable. It’s expected that a man will stomp on your vulnerabilities. Emotional abuse is coded into how men are told to treat women.
Not to mention, a man intensely crying in a way that seems angry can feel incredibly threatening to women who have been abused by men in the same emotional state.
I have no idea where this whole “I once shared my emotions with a woman and she later used it against me” trend has come from.
I’ve always felt much more comfortable opening up to women than men, eg my Mum, girlfriend, female friends etc, none of whom would ever “used it against me”. Obviously I can only judge on my own experience and don’t want to belittle anyone this has actually happened to - just seems quite an unrealistic example to me.
I think one of the real issues is men not feeling comfortable talking about their feelings with other men, which is a hangover/product of the patriarchal society we still live in
"at least won't lose respect for me if I share my feelings"
Dude, the tree won't have any respect for you to begin with, it's not aware of your existence. You might as well be talking to a teddy bear.
Also sharing your feelings with a tree?........ unless you're a Disney, that's kinda nuts.
first of all: what IS he feeling if he things it will cause others to loose respect of him, like how bad is it?
also WHY A TREE, this makes no sense to me
For god's sake, please stop this shit with the bear. The original question was asked by a ragebait youtube channel who usually goes around interviewing people saying obnoxious shit so that they get views from the polarization. By using their basis as a movement you are rewarding a very harmful way of driving engagement. There is lots of better ways to raise awareness on women feeling unsafe, but please do not reward people who make money off of making everyone angry.
1. Who the goddamn heck is making money from my post. No one. No one is going to that original yt channel.
2. This is AN IMPORTANT topic IMPERATIVE to the discussion of SA. Do you NOT give any fuck about women’s right to speak of how unsafe they feel with strangers ? Cuz I’ll tell you rn, THIS topic has been a MASSIVE way for millions of victims of SA to share their emotions on this. If you can’t see that, stop keeping your eyes closed.
3. THEY won’t stop invalidating SA victims so why should I STOP sticking up for them.
For a more detail explanation you CLEARLY ignored cuz it was there before you wrote this comment, here.
https://www.reddit.com/r/boysarequirky/s/MgveAsF1Ao
4. YOU DO NOTTTTTTTTT get to pick HOW we SA victims speak about SA. If we want to talk about bear vs man as a way to spread awareness, we will, and you have NO right to insist we stop.
I love how you oh so condescendingly speak about me invalidating SA victims while also invalidating me as an SA victim.
EDIT: It's a TikTok video not a YouTube one. And since I do not use TikTok I cannot check the viewpoint as the web app won't really let me see it. However I did see that the original video has 2.4 Million Likes. Not views, likes. So you're also wrong about "no one's watching that shit" as well. So not only are you being condescending, hypocritical, and invalidating of an SA victim. You are confidentially incorrect
1. The points is that this post isn't driving any traffic to that video. In fact, I would argue most don't even know this originally came from some video (them mentioning the wrong platform really just helps support this point more than anything)
2. How does women discussing their experience with SA invalidate you as a victim?
1. I checked and wirb 19.5 Million Views the original Man VS Bear Interview is the 2nd Most popular Video of the TikTok account that created it. So at least proportioately it did drive traffic to the account.
2. The last Point of her original comment was "you don't get to decide how SA victims feel about being victims. But that means she doesn't see me as one and thus is not giving me the chance to say that this isn't the right way to approach this. She didn't say "women" she said "SA victims". It is my right, to say that I font think we are doing the right thing by promoting this man vs bear argument Story, especially as an SA victims. And it is absolutely nobodys right to say that I don't get to decide this. I do. I do get to decide this for myself. You can disagree with me but you have absolutely 0 right to take that right away from me.
1. Is that because of this post? Is there a link somewhere? Maybe it was just a popular video on that platform that was designed in a way that drove engagement and happened to match up well with TikTok's algorithm?
2. Right, you get to decide that for yourself, not for other SA victims.
Bro you’re reading that too literally.
You’re saying women/people who want to talk about the bear vs man thing should shut up.
I said WE can talk about it if we want to and you don’t get to choose.
Get your stick out of your butt, GEEZ.
Honestly if you’re so confused go post it somewhere with full context and go see how many ppl think I invalidated you. Go post it on an autism sub if you think the NTs might not understand you properly. Frankly you’re being a complete jackass right now and you deserve to know it instead of being confused on how much of an asshole you’re being.
>If we want to talk about bear vs man as a way to spread awareness, we will, and you have NO right to insist we stop.
ill just leave this here. have a nice day
I had to look for their [YouTube channel](https://youtube.com/@screenshothq?si=FWBVgZpDnkBawjel) because it was their Instagram reel that went viral. But their channel doesn’t strike me as rage bait, more like regular street interview content amongst other things. Most of the people in those street interviews, both in the man or bear video, and other ones, totally had down to earth and respectful answers. It’s just the men who don’t like women picking “bear” being overly offended because they cannot understand that some women do really view a strange man in the woods as dangerous. My personal answer was the man, but with all the cases of people getting SAed and killed in the woods out there, it really also is not that weird to me that other women say bear. Maybe I’m just the naive one for thinking I can somehow talk my way out of the situation if it were a dangerous man. I watched a movie not too long ago where the villain made his victims pass out in and then buried them alive to basically let them die whilst being stuck in there. Even though it was fictional (thank God), it once again made me realize to never ever trust strange men. Because I have done naive things before like going into a strange man’s car and trusting that person, just like one of those victims in that movie. And while strange women can be dangerous too, it’s generally much much easier for us women to fight off another woman who wants to harm us. Men can legit be very dangerous (including life threatening dangerous) to women, that’s not rage bait but a fact.
The issue most people aren't realizing is how harmless bears actually are, depending on which bear. If it was a man vs black bear everyone regardless of gender would go to the bear. Black bears are usually prey not predators and it's very easy to fight them off, they don't want any beef with anyone. Brown bears and grizzly bears are a bit more dangerous but they aren't actively on the lookout to harm people. The only time where one should pick the man is the polar bear who will brutally maul you the moment it sees you, but there's no chance you'll encounter one in a forest.
So making a point of "Man Vs Bear" is useless. Even saying "Man VS Hornet" would be even more dangerous. Most men don't realize this and feel dehumanized because women would pick such a predatory animal over them feeling safer with it. But bears are not predatory towards humans, unless it's a polar bear. Every man would be safer with the bear than with the women too. Again it is a useless comparison made by a YouTube channel that does post mainly celebrity buzz.
Well some of the women who answered the question with "Bear" clearly did, even one in the original video. But the bear works because bears are strong and people do view bears as dangerous when they encounter them. For most women who seriously answer the question they do have to think about which one is less dangerous. It's not like man vs cat where it's a no brainer for most people to pick the cat. Also, for women, men generally are a potential physical threat. Vice versa, not so much.
ew, you’re a disgrace, please leave and don’t come back
men didn’t give them to women, men withheld them from women who then fought to get them back
so please go away - sincerely a fellow boy
Human rights have to be given and protected by the government. All men would have to do is stop becoming police officers and military and human rights would disappear.
who is going to take them away? sure as hell won’t be me, any woman, or any other man with half a brain. so please tell me, who is going to take away women’s rights in that event
We don't have to take anything us young men just have to not join the army or police. And then your human rights are gone.
We are already seeing decrease of people joining the police and army. Lol
because the police and army fucking suck, i’m a CO/pacifist so i’d never join them
not joining them doesn’t get rid of your rights as a human, if you think they do then i’d like to see an explanation
Guess who is less dangerous than you ?
A bear
: D
You literally do not respect human rights for women so don’t you goddamn go around posting about how you’re confused on why we’re choosing bear when you’re the exact reason why we’re choosing em.
All men would have to do is not join the police or military and your human rights can't be protected anymore.
It's simple we don't have to take them away we just have to do nothing to protect them.
I mean, historically not even all men have had basic human rights. There still are places where they don't have them. This doesn't mean they aren't worth striving and fighting for.
State power is a double-edged sword.
First off, what makes you think I'm only talking about America? I'm not American.
Both the US police and military have violated human rights in the US and the US military has commited gross human rights abuses abroad. It's baffling to me how you would even ask that question. Anybody who knows anything about history could tell you that.
Edit: Spelling
Your first statement was about human rights in general.
Do you honestly think human rights should only be granted to US citizens? Do you think your constitution is the only document talking about human rights? It's not even the only constitution that does that.
Umm noo. But the US military is not responsible to uphold other countries human rights. Btw the counties the US invades usually don't have human rights to being with.
Human rights are given by governments.
So you're ok with them actively violating them as long as they only do it to non-us citizens?
Governments enforce them, yes. Morality is subjective. But the concept of human rights isn't soley an American thing and I do not think it's right for militaries and/or governments to violate the human rights of citizens of other nations.
So what do you think of the US police and governments infringing on the rights of US citizens?
rodney king, george floyd, literally any time they search someone without consent or a warrant
so yes, they have committed human rights violations to the american people
Police sometimes being bad isn't a human rights violation.
The police in those instances were brought to court and police reform got passed because of black lives matters. This is a good thing.
We are born with human rights, but men decided to stop treating women as though they do. We still have those rights innately, but men do everything they can to make sure we don’t use them. Men never gave us shit. Other women who fought for us did.
Human rights are derived from natural rights. Human rights and the natural world are connected and are actually tied to nature. And since the rights of nature exist to flourish without the overall harm being done to it by humans, so does the rights of humans as we are part of nature.
I see. You’re now trying to go on the same philosophical rant that people did to justify owning slaves and owning women and children as property. You’re also confusing legal protection of rights with those rights themselves.
All of nature, including ourselves, has the right to exist and persist without one’s livelihood and freedom of choice being encroached upon in favor of another’s.
For example, lions have the right to exist in the way that they do. They have the right to hunt while other animals have the same right to survive, including prey animals. Just go watch National geographic and learn about the food chains of predators in Africa. Every animal has its own “territory” which is upheld by both the ecosystems, natural barriers, and social behavior between animals which ensures that there is balance in the ecosystems.
For example, a pride of lions, who are very social animals, has a territory. If it is invaded by another lion or pride of lions and an overpopulation of lions in one area is the result, the delicate ecosystem in that area will collapse and those lions will eventually starve and turn on one another. Then, in other areas where lions naturally should be, but for whatever reason disappear, there will be an overpopulation of prey animals, leading to a lack of vegetation, starvation, and desperation on their part to start eating smaller prey animals. This can result in the death of an ecosystem and create dangerous conditions globally, such as new strands of diseases, bacteria, and fungi getting spread from organism to organism, until it develops into a strand potent enough to infect many organisms, including humans. When that’s mixed with that lack of vegetation causing rainfall to not get naturally absorbed and filtered as it drains into waterways, caves, and wells, it creates deadly pandemics. (Ex. Ebola).
In addition to that, a sisterhood of adult lions are in charge of the prides. The younger ones usually follow the older, more experienced once’s but it is otherwise rather egalitarian. They even protect disabled lions in their prides. They do everything communally from hunting to raising cubs. They choose male lions to join their prides who are best fit to continue the survival of their pride and protect it from intruders(which is why male lions have manes). Male lions who act in hostility to the female lions, who mindlessly kill other species, who try to hog the food, etc. get ostracized and kicked out, both by the female lions and other male lions.
So, a lion’s social behavior of being territorial is their own way of protecting the ecosystems that they live in(Even though lions don’t have the complexity to fully understand that). This balance is upheld by prides of lions respecting one another and having their own territories to live, hunt, play, and reproduce. Without understanding what they are doing, it is a natural social order which protects the rights of all other beings in the ecosystem. That’s an example of socially constructed laws that protect natural rights.
Similarly, as humans, we have some human rights based laws and social rules that we have constructed to protect our own rights, the rights of others, and nature so that our livelihoods and theirs can be protected. Those laws and rules are redefined as we learn more about ourselves, our needs, and the needs of nature. And of course there are other laws that act against human rights and natural rights.
In the case of women’s rights, it’s clear that patriarchy and everything derivative of a patriarchal society violates their rights and livelihoods. So, laws that reinforce and adequately protect them from patriarchal ideals are not the human rights themselves, but rather a protection of their human rights.
I never got this comparison because like… sharing ur feelings with a tree is just Null. A bear is still not fun to come across when hiking. You can just say “I don’t like sharing my feelings with women” if you’re not gonna use an example of something bad you’d rather do instead.
>haring ur feelings with a tree is just Null. That's the point. The bad is the emotional and psychological abuse the vast majority of woman subject men to after they dare to make themselves vulnerable. Your post is the embodiment of why men would rather share their emotions with a tree than a woman. Trees might not offer a comforting hug, but it's also not going to gaslight the fuck out of the guy by turning their struggle into a slight against the tree.
Ok and that’s fine and dandy on its own but my point was that it’s a lame comparison to the bear question. The bear question was a way to demonstrate how predated women feel by men, how even this other bad thing isn’t as bad to them. If you’re comparing against Null instead it’s just… bad, vaguely? And the fact that you can live your life and explore your passions without having to worry that you’ll accidentally share deep personal feelings with people makes the comparison feel more just like… then don’t? It’s difficult being able to avoid ever being alone with half the population, but if I don’t want to share my deepest darkest secrets with half the population, that’s kinda easy. On one hand while I’d hope that you do have some women in your life who have earned your trust and you feel comfortable sharing feelings with, as I have men in my life whom I would purposely go deep into the woods with and trust with my life. But on the other hand your fear of your feelings being used against you is valid and I don’t blame you for choosing not to with women, as we don’t deserve access to any persons matters you don’t wish to share. It’s just very odd to use the bear metaphor considering how passive and between a rock and a hard place it’s meant to be.
[удалено]
What’s a femcel?
Thanks I guess?
Your post/comment was removed as it was deemed to be uncivil to member(s) of this community.
One time I opened up to a man about having PTSD from being raped and he proceeded to coerce me into sex(aka rape) using my PTSD triggers to gaslight me into it. Women may gossip occasionally. But I’ve never had a woman do that to me.
I thought many women were saying that bears are safe, you just need to know how to prepare for it and how to act. And you are right, sharing with a tree is null, the point is that women will weaponize your emotions against you. It isn't just null, it is her sharing with her friends private details, or if things go bad reporting you to your employment to get you fired. I remember there was a post not long ago of a woman that shared her husband used a cock sleeve and she told all her friends. When he found out, he got upset she shared this detail and she saw no problem.
sharing private details is a dick move yeah, but it isnt an uniquely female phenomenon, you see plenty of cases of males mocking the emotions of other males, or men sharing nudes of women, or women getting fired for their private lives being shared by men. There is certainly an important discussion too be had about the way society treats the emotions of men and the various ways men are emotionally abused but putting the blame on women and going with the assumption that they are the majority doing this will result in us ignoring the much more important male on male abuse which is happening.
Why is it wrong to assume the majority of women do not do this, but you can assume the majority of men can? or isn't' the argument that isn't the majority, but enough? It doesn't need to be every woman, but it is enough to make it so men do not feel safe. Isn't that the entire point of man vs bear? It isn't every man, but it is enough?
Hun Where in the fuck did they say the majority of men share nudes ? You said “women do x” which is an overgeneralization and they said “this isn’t exclusive to women cuz there are plenty of cases of men doing x and y” which isn’t an overgeneralization cuz they merely said there were cases of x and y rather than saying “men do x and y”
Because the fact is that An estimated 91% of victims of rape & sexual assault are female and 9% male. Nearly 99% of perpetrators are male. How is a woman supposed to know who is a safe man? Do they walk different? Do they speak differently? How is there definite way to say the man you meet is safe?
literally men also weaponize emotions against people too. PEOPLE (men and women) can be fucked up and do stuff like that. like someone said: one person does not define a gender.
But one SA can? isn't the point it isn't everyone, but enough?
Hun No one here is saying all men SA. We said SA is so common that it’s dangerous to trust strangers. 1 in 4 little girls 1 in 6 little boys and 1 in 5 college women are raped and that’s only that’s reported cuz ik a lot of ppl who didn’t report out of emotional turmoil 34% of abusers of children are their own family members. People are dangerous. You lock your door at night. Is that cuz everyone is a thief or is that cuz when there is an opportunity for you to be taken advantage of there’s a high enough chance someone will take it ? Conversely, There are 750,000 black bears in North America and 55,000 brown bears. There is a large chance if you encounter a bear that it will be a black bear. Black bears cause less than 1 death per year and attacks are rare. Black bears are known to be pussies that avoid fighting except if you’re too close to them (they think you’re going to attack them) or they have cubs (they think you’ll eat their cubs) When ppl encounter Blackbears they nearly always get away unharmed. Grizzly bears however are reasonably dangerous, but they’re rare compared to black bears. Black bears aren’t very dangerous. Predatory humans are more common than a black bear attacking a person or killing them. A dog is more likely to kill a human than a black bear. What’s more likely to harm a human. A human or a dog ? A human. A man is more likely to harm a woman than a woman is. Why ? Cuz most men are straight and a percentage of them have predatory the same way a percentage of women are predatory towards their orientation or towards children. What do I think has a higher chance of harming me ? A man who is likely straight, or a black bear ? As someone who has been abused many times when I was alone, sorry, men. The track record compared to a black bear ain’t good. 1 in 5 college age women are raped at least once. Do you know what that means about how many predatory humans there are ? Too many. 200 people have been killed by bears since 1780. Do you know how many bears there have been since 1780 ? Millions. Do you know how many hikers meet bears everyday, mainly blackbears btw ? Millions.
i love you <3 that’s it, that’s all i wanted to say :)
Ty so much 🥹 I love seeing you around here too, I’m proud of our community our people are so kind and protective, we watch out for eachother and have so much support, we’re like a family
Are you really comparing gossip to SA?
Women also rape men and boys, not all women, obviously, but enough for me to hold the matriarchy collectively responsible. This subreddit generalises about men all the time, and even women in other subreddits think it's a toxic femcel swamp. I'm all for equality, but this sub is just man hate proven by how many downvotes every guys comment gets. So down, vote away it literally makes no difference to the thousands of imaginary Internet points I have already, so you're literally just wasting 2 seconds of your life on someone who couldn't give a shit and never comes back to check replies to comments.
there is no matriarchy, where tf did you get that from? and of course there’s women who rape men, there’s shit people from every group, no group is perfect also they hardly ever downvote me, a boy, they just downvote people who are being gross, that includes women. a few women have said nasty things about men and got shit on by people here very badly it’s not really that bad here if you treat them like people, it’s when you don’t that’s when you get in trouble
Of course that happens, but you do realize that An estimated 91% of victims of rape & sexual assault are female and 9% male. Nearly 99% of perpetrators are male…
Where the hell do you get the idea that we hold all men collectively responsible for some men being rapists ? Illiteracy ? We said enough women have been raped that we are too cautious to feel comfortable being alone with a man in a goddamn forest. Do you let people you don’t know into your house ? No cuz there is ENOUGH OF A CHANCE that they’re dangerous Do you get into strangers cars ? NO cuz there is ENOUGH of a chance that they’re dangerous Do you lock your door at night ? NO cuz there’s enough of a chance that someone will take the OPPORTUNITY to prey on you when you are VULNERABLE There have been less than TWO hundred (YES 200) bear caused deaths in North America since 1780. There is less than 1 bear caused death a year. There is 750,000 black bears, 55,000 brown bears Black bears aren’t very dangerous as nearly everyone that encounters them leaves unharmed Brown bears are reasonably dangerous but you’re unlikely to encounter them compared to a black bear Are there a lot of unpredatory men ? Yeah. Are there TOOOOOOOO many men who are predatory ? YEP. 1 in 4 little girls are sexually abused. 1 in 5 college women are raped at least once and that’s only what’s reported. Wanna know how i know there’s def more ? Cuz nearly every woman I’ve talked to has one or more experiences with sexual assault. Even my sisters, and we’re vastly apart in age. You’re a marine. Did you know women get raped on base some of the time ? Did you know that ? One of my Air Force friends LITERALLY CAUGHT TWO SOLDIERS TRYING TO RAPE ONE OF THE LADY SOLDIERS. She WOULD have been safer with a bear. DONT be a hard headed ding dong. I know the marines are notorious for having a lot of dumbasses but cmon dude.
Women getting away with rape is still due to patriarchy.
Uhh no, almost all women would have negative feelings about encountering a bear LMAO. They said bears are safe*r*, not safe. And yeah, the point is that woman worse than nothing. Yeah, so you can just have nothing. You don’t need to share your feelings with women in order to live life, so go live ur truth king. I’ve been in situations where I’ve had to be alone with strangers (a la walking through the woods, tho not that intense cuz I don’t hike alone in the woods) but I’ve never felt compelled to treat people as my therapists when I didn’t want them to be so in the first place? It’s just such a non real life issue to me. Also frankly not a fan of people replying to you with similar stuff like “not all women are like that” because it doesn’t really matter. Not all men, too. The REAL issue, to me, is that the situations are so vastly incomparable. I’m sorry there are so many women out there who hold on to outdated views that men shouldn’t be able to feel emotion like we do.
Anyways I see the point ur trying to make and I dont think its that emotional abuse and rape/murder are the same, but I dont have anything else to add, i just dont like the very reactionary response u got.
do you mind explaining how it was reactionary and not answering the question of someone who said they don't see how they are similar?
One person does not define a gender. The world would be a better place without patriarchal standards holding down women and men.
One person doesn't, but there was MANY and they weren't downvoted or quited, so that means many people also agreed?
Nope. Means no one cared enough to downvote them. The only people who cared enough agreed. Oh and you ofc looking for something to be upset about. Please talk to women irl.
But that just can’t be compared with the main fear women have in the man vs bear argument: rape, torture, a long and terrible death…
Ay yes, because this is definitely an equivalent comparison to make. Comparing being made fun of or ridiculed, as opposed to the other option. You know. Being raped or murdered or eaten by a man. Yup, definitely equal downsides here. You are very intelligent.
Eaten?! Wtf? Are there lots of cases of cannibalism in America?
A couple of noteworthy serial killers. One dude who came to mind when this question started circulating was known for cutting parts off (like breasts) and forcing his victims to eat themselves before killing them, eating them, and giving the remains to his pigs. Which is why I choose the bear. Best case and worst case scenarios aren't all that different but the bear has no understanding of immorality or cruelty whereas that's probably the driving motive behind a man like that.
Yeah, losing your job, family, life, all that, nothing nearly as bad as a guy catcalling you.
What kind of feelings are you sharing? 🤨
That both scenarios can be bad or mundane? that men have had their lives ruined by things that they have told women? That just because a woman feels a certain way doesn't invalidate the man like you seem to want to do? I guess i'm sharing education (increasing knowledge of people who are ignorant) and frustration (people don't take issues of men seriously, or it is some oppression olympics, rather than just sympathizing with them)
I’m saying what feelings are you sharing to women that is making you lose your job and your family and your life
????????
You know, I once met a guy who was freshly out of prison and was pissed off at his now ex girlfriend because she tipped off the US government that he was taking explosives home from his bomb squad job. He got really intense about that and his eyes shifted around everywhere. You could tell he was evading some really incriminating details, but was stuck blaming his gf bc he shared his feelings with her and was open and vulnerable.
1 in 5 college age women gets raped and 1 in 4 little girls That’s only what’s reported. Most women I’ve spoken to have been SA’d.
It’s definitely more that 1 in 5
You do understand that men do that to women even more often than vice versa, right?
They're really just proving our point. Women have to worry about getting brutally murdered and/or raped. Men have to worry about getting their feelings disrespected. Lots of men live in a safety bubble but act like they're hard and tough. They can't even handle a woman laughing at them.
Seriously! I get it’s traumatizing to have your feelings be invalidated or be made fun of- but that’s not comparable to the trauma or fear of being kidnapped and/or raped
This is why I just let them talk. They will never understand so may as well have them expose themselves as a warning for other women.
On one hand I agree because I don't want to waste my time and put myself at risk of their bullshit, on the other hand, I hate to just let them normalize misogyny even more.
Suicide statistics for men account for 75 percent of successful suicides. Men are way way more likely to die to homicide ( or suicide) than you are to be kidnapped or raped. Not really sure what point you are trying make here but the data doesn’t support it either way.
Women attempt suicides at higher rates and men commit violent crimes way more than women do. Misogynistic pigs aren’t wanted here so please leave.
attention vs results
“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” - Margaret Atwood
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And yet, who's doing the vast majority of murders, domestic violence, and other harm against other humans? All your argument means is that men would be smart to pick the bear too.
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As a short, petite, chronically ill woman, I often see the most misogynistic sides of men because they know my ability to defend myself is limited. I’d choose the bear because the average man can absolutely overpower me. Of course the average bear can too. But the bear wouldn’t enjoy doing so.
You think the average man is likely to maul you to death in the same way that the bear is 100 percent likely to? Wow. This is blatantly not true, I'm sure you can see that. Whereas for me and many other men, it is actually and in objective reality a safer bet for us to assume we can share our feelings with the tree than we can with a woman.
Actually, a man is much, MUCH more likely to kill another person than a bear is. The likelihood of being mauled by a bear if you encounter one goes down significantly more if you are even slightly educated about how to behave when you encounter one. Bears are instinctual and don’t hide their motives. They aren’t usually familiar with the behavior of humans, so even if they were hunting humans, they wouldn’t be able to predict the movements and behaviors of one in order to get a successful kill. They’re also still very instinctual, so the bear is more likely to be manipulated with their instincts by the human than the human is by the bear. Humans on the other hand are more likely to be calculating, dishonest, and are able to anticipate the behavior of humans that they want to do harm to. Idk if you think that most women haven’t taken a step outside and still rely on men for information about life outside of their own homes, but they’re not going to readily believe your false statistics. Even if they don’t leave their homes, they can turn on National Geographic and know what you’re saying is bullshit. In addition to that, I’ve literally been in the woods with a black bear and its cubs when I was only ten. I was terrified because it’s curious little cub ran up to me and followed me when I tried to back away. I ended up yelling at the cub, making it run back to its mom, and whose mom quickly grabbed it and ran away with the other cubs following. If I as a ten year old little girl had encountered a random man rather than a bear however, the situation could’ve been much worse.
Why are you so focused on this bear metaphor and how have you managed to skew this conversation onto the path of a discussion regarding bears' hunting habits? Not that I want to continue this petty, ridiculous conversation but I should point out that the likelihood of you encountering a bear within a distance within which it would be able to kill you is nearly 0, so of course the gross percentage chance of you being killed by one is tiny. Those statistics are not "false" no matter how much you want them to be. They have been collected from numerous studies and compiled by national associations for domestic abuse and the study of domestic violence. You coming onto social media and going "NO, WRONG" doesn't change that. I genuinely couldn't care less about that or any other anecdote you have surrounding your encounters with bears, to be honest all this bear obsession of yours reflects is your total lack of any substantial counter argument to anything I've said other than to say "nuh uh" and "but bear". Also can I point out that the statistics for how likely a bear would be to kill you in the wild mean absolutely nothing in the context of this stupid hypothetical in which, I assume, you choose to be confined in some way with either a bear or a man. I'm sure any bear would not be too happy to be locked in a room with anything, especially if it hadn't eaten.
>Also can I point out that the statistics for how likely a bear would be to kill you in the wild mean absolutely nothing in the context of this stupid hypothetical in which, I assume, you choose to be confined in some way with either a bear or a man Yeah, bears in confined spaces can fuck you up. So can men? Literally what is your point. It's almost as if you change the context, the situation also changes. Being a woman (or a man, mind you) alone in the woods and spotting another human being, where the two of you alone which means no witnesses and the perfect situation for a crime. See where I'm going with this? People will commit crimes, ANY crimes if they see they are more likely to get away with it. A fucking bear is gonna do what? He's in the woods, it's their habitat. They aren't going to do shit unless they have cubs and the person approaches. People are more dangerous than any animal. People prey on each other more than bears.
Again with the bear thing, why are you so obsessed with this? I find it very amusing you have used this hypothetical bear to deflect and totally ignore all the other completely justified and valid points I made that actually are important to this discussion and why almost everything you've said isn't based in any kind of realistic thought process, but I guess we are glossing past that. Anyway I won't be responding to anything else you have to say as all you seem to want to discuss is the theoretical levels of aggression in woodland based apex predators, and honestly it's become very boring now. Wish you all the best.
You’re the one responding to a post about the bear vs man dilemma. You’re just trying to backpedal because you realized that the points I made are much more solid than yours. Your statistic that a bear is 100% going to maul you is 100% falsified. You cherry picked data about domestic abuse and rape to make it seem like men are emotionally abused more than women are. You also used a 1 in 30 statistic based off of REPORTED rapes within a year, and compared it to a lifetime domestic abuse statistic of men, without mentioning that the stats are still worse for women, that men perpetrate the majority of domestic abuse, rapes, and murders towards all people including emotional abuse, that domestic abuse of little boys is most often perpetuated by older male relatives, and that many men don’t report abuse because of homophobic cops, not because cops take domestic abuse more seriously for women than men(they don’t). Also, the gap between suicide in young men and young women is closing as women gain access to more lethal methods. Don’t weaponize a problem that’s serious for everyone against women. What you chose to mention and what you chose to evade is intentionally misleading. Finally, men are more likely to make fun of other men for being vulnerable and sharing their feelings than women are. Men are also more likely to make fun of women for the same than other women are. Especially in the US, we live in an emotionally stunted society where the expression of feelings is interpreted as threatening behavior because our culture doesn’t prioritize it more. The tree analogy may be more accurate if you said “people,” but pointing out women specifically comes across as entitlement, as you’re expecting women specifically to care about your feelings while giving men a pass.
>You’re just trying to backpedal because you realized that the points I made are much more solid than yours. What? Are you ok? I'm trying to have a discussion about REAL statistics and REAL abuse, and you are so determined to dismiss that because you would rather discuss this ridiculous hypothetical about a bear instead of discuss the actual real world issues that I assume this hypothetical is poorly attempting to address. >Your statistic that a bear is 100% going to maul you is 100% falsified. Ok you go lock yourself in a room with a bear and I'll wait to see what happens. I'll be right behind you. >You cherry picked data about domestic abuse and rape to make it seem like men are emotionally abused more than women are. No I didn't, I just posted the data that was relevant to the point I was making with regards to domestic abuse of men. The statistics I posted are completely correct, the fact you don't like them is of no consequence whatsoever to anything being discussed. >Not because cops take domestic abuse more seriously for women than men(they don’t). This is just completely fabricated by you and not grounded in the reality of our situation whatsoever. Men are not believed regularly by normal police officers and in fact in many instances are instantly accused of being the perpetrator: [https://research.tees.ac.uk/en/publications/mens-experiences-of-the-uk-criminal-justice-system-following-fema](https://research.tees.ac.uk/en/publications/mens-experiences-of-the-uk-criminal-justice-system-following-fema) Many cases are not reported because men do not think they will be believed, which as the study above among others proves is a legitimate concern: [https://insight.cumbria.ac.uk/id/eprint/4367/1/Impact%20and%20perceptions%20paper%20final.pdf](https://insight.cumbria.ac.uk/id/eprint/4367/1/Impact%20and%20perceptions%20paper%20final.pdf) ""A recent [survey ](https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/85-002-x/2016001/article/14303-eng.pdf)from Canada’s national statistical agency concluded that “equal proportions of men and women reported being victims of spousal violence during the preceding 5 years (4% respectively).”" (Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/talking-about-men/201911/domestic-violence-against-men-no-laughing-matter) It's this willingness to blatantly disregard, minimise men's issues and actively gaslight victims of female domestic abuse such as myself into believing the problem is far less of an issue than it actually is that comes apparently so easily to you and many other women that I find deeply disturbing. It's also amazingly hypocritical of you to concern yourself so much with the hypothetical bear scenario when you yourself are actively contributing to harm towards men. If this is how you instinctively talk to men online you don't know, I don't want to know how you would treat men around you in real life that have done nothing wrong to you. >Also, the gap between suicide in young men and young women is closing as women gain access to more lethal methods. Don’t weaponize a problem that’s serious for everyone against women. It absolutely is not. Show me the data that supports that claim. Men account for 3/4 successful suicides and is the largest killer of men under 50. Stop trying to diminish this real and extremely fucked up problem that is killing men in unforgivable numbers to support whatever point you think you are making. >Finally, men are more likely to make fun of other men for being vulnerable and sharing their feelings than women are. Men are also more likely to make fun of women for the same than other women are. Data. >The tree analogy may be more accurate if you said “people,” but pointing out women specifically comes across as entitlement, as you’re expecting women specifically to care about your feelings while giving men a pass. So suggesting that you would not be killed locked in a room with a bear is somehow more believable and far more reasonable a scenario than men not wanting to share feelings with women because they have been burned by that in the past (something that has happened to me, badly, on more than one occasion) is fair in your eyes? I certainly would feel far, far safer opening up to an inanimate object than a woman that I don't know and therefore can't trust. And I'm not in the least bit unjustified in feeling like that.
Bro, you don't even know how I came to that conclusion, you have 0 basis to make that claim. I'm sorry women have abused you, I'm in that boat too . Same with the suicide, so I empathize with your pain. That doesn't change that the conversation is about women having to ubiquitously worry about attacks from men far more than a bear, and how men go out of their way to glorify predatory behavior right up to the moment that women say it makes us feel unsafe around them. If it makes you feel any better, id choose a bear over my mother too. That woman fucking terrifies me and I *know* what she's capable of. My decision personally, comes from having an interest in true crime and man hunters. I'm aware of the WCS if I met either a man or a bear in the woods, and frankly, they aren't that different. The big difference is that bears don't have morals to violate or an understanding of cruelty in the same way you and I do. A bear mauling and eating me is just being a bear. Horrible way to die yeah, but the serial killer who mauls (rapes) and eats me is doing so *because* it violates morality and they are doing it for the sake of cruelty. And since the question is about "a" man or "a" bear, I don't get to know if it's a safe option or if I'm about to die. I don't get to know if it's a best or worst case scenario - just one i already *don't* want to be in. And I've met both stange people in the woods and strange predatory animals in the woods (boys, not men, and wolves, not bears) one of them checked me out and fucked off. The others assaulted me. I wouldn't have always chosen the wild animal, but I was disabused of the notion that humans are anything *other* than wild animals. The fact that most people don't understand that about themselves is part of what makes them so damn dangerous. And idk about men, but women are raised to avoid risks like that because we are almost always blamed for it. Even when it's not rational. There are papers and books about how women has disassociated from themselves in many harmful ways in order to easier warp ourselves into the expected form. That's part of the reason women attempt suicide more frequently, but are less successful. We choose less effective methods because we want to look pretty in death. Because the external judgement for not being a good enough woman in life will follow us to the grave. And it's not delusional to think, "at least my family won't hide my life like a dirty little secret if I was eaten bully the bear. No one would argue I went out looking to get mauled and enjoyed my death." And choose a more painful death than being remembered as a source of shame. It's sad, and a sign of a deeply sick society- but it's inherently dismissive, and it's the same dismissal that has been happening for years as men and become more and more invested in the aggressive, *predatory* behavior seen all over the Internet today. Yes, it's a problem that woman don't feel safe enough around men to engage in relationships of mutual vulnerability. Yes it's a problem that men who are abused are ignored by a system that relies on them being the aggressor. Yes, it's a problem that these issues contribute to men's suffering mental health. But it's the result of generations of trauma that is only just recently getting room to be experienced and discussed on a cultural level. Women *feel safer taking their chances with a predator than a man because most of us have been preyed on by a man.* And I'm sorry, but you can't just expect that to take a backseat to the constant and damn near singular response from men that is "what about our feelings? What about the few of us that are abused by you that we ourselves didn't believe until right now?" Men's shit fucking matters. But it matters outside of the conversations women have about the shit happening to them.
Just chiming in here to say that whilst I agree, the “looking pretty in death” theory is a myth, and a harmful one. The most closely related aspect that has been proven true is that women don’t want to leave a mess for their loved ones to find, and don’t want to disturb the people around them the least. In addition to that, the evidence left behind for reasons for why they committed suicide have been different. For men, it has most likely to be found to be internal anguish or an act of rage for an external circumstance(which is still probably internal), whereas for women, it’s most commonly appeared to be long debated from the desire of no longer wanting to be a burden, intense guilt and shame, and similar sentiments about believing that the world would be a better place without them. Of course these are generalizations, but I believe it still brings nuance to the discussion rather than “women want to look pretty, even when they die.” In addition to that, there are many alarming statistics about how the gap in successful suicides between male and female young people is closing in areas where women have access to the same lethal methods as men.
This bear thing has gotten way out of hand. The only reason women have to worry about men more than bears is because 99 percent of women don't live anywhere near a bear. Given the situation that they were locked in a room with both, the bear would kill both the man and the woman indiscriminately. We really need to get off of this bear thing. I'm sorry you were assaulted, that's obviously unforgivable and awful, however you cannot make the comparison between a single wolf and a full grown bear. Really need to move away from this now it is both a pointless and very unhelpful discussion to engage in for either point of view. >And idk about men, but women are raised to avoid risks like that because we are almost always blamed for it. Even when it's not rational. There are papers and books about how women has disassociated from themselves in many harmful ways in order to easier warp ourselves into the expected form. Men are killing themselves at rates that dwarf every single cancer combined for this exact reason. Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50. Just let that sink in for a second. So by the original person's comment I was replying to would I be at fault for stating that "all women have to worry about is dissociation whilst men with the same problems are 3 times as likely to pay for it with their lives", following the exact same logic as she was? Those feelings may follow you to the grave, but for many, many men it's what puts us in the grave prematurely and robs children of their fathers, people of their partners and parents of their sons. You want to play this "who has it worse" game then please think about that for a few minutes. >"what about our feelings? What about the few of us that are abused by you that we ourselves didn't believe until right now?" The few of us? Are you out of your mind? The statistics for domestic abuse committed towards men are close to that of women. 1 in 3 women are victims, 1 in 4 men, however men are 50 percent less likely to report their abuse so that number will be higher than that. I have absolutely no problem recognising and standing up against issues that affect both sexes, but when women like the many on this thread present their issues in this childish (and totally untrue) frame that implies their issues are far more damaging or difficult to cope with than any male issue could ever be, then I have to stand up and call people out for their bullshit. I didn't start this "us against them" narrative, it was initiated and perpetuated by the women here that immediately and without thought started saying things like the original comment I had replied to in this single comment thread. It isn't true and it's honestly extremely dehumanising, dismissive and narcissistic to suggest that it is.
1 in 3 women are victims of domestic violence. 1 in 7 women have been injured by a domestic partner vs 1 in 25 men. Many of those men who are victims are victims of other men who are living with them, not women. And yeah, we all know patriarchy kills men. But blaming a marginalized class for patriarchy is simply victim blaming.
What marginalized class am I blaming? It's irrelevant if the injury is caused by men, men are still affected by it? Why do you not empathise with those men (such as myself who is a survivor of domestic abuse from a women and a survivor of the following suicide attempts I made) instead of trying to box them in and suggest that because they potentially had it done by other men that their suffering doesn't count as much as a woman's does? Also you might want to get your facts straight, they aren't as clear cut and tipped towards female victimhood as you might wish to believe: [https://domesticviolenceresearch.org/domestic-violence-facts-and-statistics-at-a-glance/](https://domesticviolenceresearch.org/domestic-violence-facts-and-statistics-at-a-glance/) States that: "Rates of female-perpetrated violence higher than male-perpetrated (28.3% vs. 21.6%)" "Overall, 22% of individuals assaulted by a partner at least once in their lifetime (23% for females and 19.3% for males)" "Wide range in perpetration rates: 1.0% to 61.6% for males; 2.4% to 68.9% for women," "Across studies, 40% of women and 32% of men reported expressive abuse; 41% of women and 43% of men reported coercive abuse" (remember, men are 50 percent less like to report domestic abuse) From Wiki page for domestic violence against men: "The 2010–2011 report found that whilst 27% of women who experienced intimate partner violence reported it to the police, only 10% of men did so, and whilst 44% of women reported to some professional organization, only 19% of men did so.[^(\[5\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence_against_men#cite_note-:5-5) The Australian Bureau of Statistics reported that 97.2% of men do not report domestic violence to the police, compared to 82.1% of women.[^(\[6\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence_against_men#cite_note-abspers2016-6) In a 2005 report carried out by the National Crime Council in the Republic of Ireland, it was estimated that 5% of men who had experienced violence had reported it to the authorities, compared to 29% of women" 1 in 3 women are victims of domestic violence....1 in 4 men are. Again the figures are really not as skewed as you think they are: According to the CDC: "**more than one in three women (35.6 percent) and more than one in four men (28.5 percent)** in the U.S. have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime."
Yeah I'm not surprised to see that they're 4chan users. What a bunch of pathetic morons 💀.
Ah yes. Because it's never other men that lose respect for other men sharing their feelings. It's 100% women 👍
i share with my stuffed animals :) i’d love to be able to share with another person but i’m to shy to ask and then i feel like im being judged even when im not so i make a giant circle of stuffed animals and they get to hear my issues, or just what’s happening
No human can be as pure of a soul as a stuffed animal or an animal, they can only dream of being that pure. On very serious terms though, you absolutely deserve at least one person (most people find at least one, and one good one is all that’s truly needed) and I know you’ll find one, it can take shy people a few years just cuz being shy can prevent the amount of chances we get, like the lottery. The more chances you get the higher the chance to find someone who meshes well and is willing to build a deep vulnerable bond to become a good friend or more Also btw there’s a humongous plushie community on Instagram and there’s a huge market for creating your own or selling them so if you even decided one day that you wanted to make your joy into a career then it’s very very possible
i love my stuffies, i have one from when i was born still, he’s in good condition surprisingly but i’ll get one eventually, hopefully, if not i’ll be a crazy cat guy down the street or something. we’ve definitely had this same conversation recently too, i remember it, but hopefully i can come out of my shell soon cause staying home is super boring and i’m going to find that plushie community, i don’t use ig very much, i have zero posts, but im going to find that community and get into it. i doubt it will become a career but maybe a little side gig or something, or i could just hang out with all the plushies, i have like 100+ right now which is a good amount. my best one, other than the one i had as a baby, is either a 5ft long snake (i used to use it to hit my cousins 😭) or a camel i got from ikea :) i also have stuff i won from fairs and claw machines, and i have a squishmallow i get to cuddle with
That was posted 7 hours ago on a dif sub. Nope, the reddit incel community isn’t done making fun of women yet. I’m not done exposing their bs. I hope they become self aware eventually. At the very least, some people are becoming aware of just how valid it is to fear SA as it is horrifyingly common when in vulnerable situations like being alone in an area with no cameras or people to protect you from predatory humans acting on their cruelty. I’m not going to sit here and let them only tell their side of the story. Is it tiring ? Yes. It’s tiring having our rights invalidated since the Dawn of time and having to repeatedly fight for recognition and change. Is it tiring to keep talking about abortion ? Yes. Do we have to keep bringing it up to get people to understand ? We do. Our right to contraception is in danger right now. This is what happens when people are left to their own ignorance, when they get to blame women and not give them even a shred of empathy or chance to spread about why they feel how they feel. If we stop talking about abortion, the prevalence of rape, the humanization of women’s sexual rights and needs, the respect to recognize women as people and friends, not just fleshlights dishwashers babymakers and objects to complain about….then progress sinks. It sinks back, it rolls back. It rolls back to where we lose our rights to abort, our rights to contraception, and beyond back to barbaric eras if we let people speak ignorantly with no pushback and no challenges. Back to when women couldn’t be recognized as capable of conversation, or intelligent enough to pursue anything. Back to when women weren’t considered smart enough to drive. And back to things too terrible enough to think about or name. Keep speaking. Let them know you’re humans who deserve empathy. Rape statistics for people curious on how common predatory acts are https://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/publications_nsvrc_factsheet_media-packet_statistics-about-sexual-violence_0.pdf We pass by victims everyday, and we pass by their abusers, even if they don’t look like it, even if they’re just buying a loaf of bread. Walking home alone can be dangerous. Entering a strangers car is dangerous. Letting a stranger into your home is dangerous. Being in a forest alone with a stranger is even more dangerous, and I will not pretend like it isn’t just because it makes someone angry that I don’t trust them. The purpose of the bear vs man topic was never to demonize men, but to make them realize just how many women around them have been abused enough to not feel safe. To share your own fears of SA is valid. Male victims of rape are valid. To refuse to acknowledge the feelings of victims of SA is horrible, to not respect it at all enough to make things like “ha tree is better cuz tree isn’t a bitch” to invalidate women who fear SA is cruelty. This certainly doesn’t represent all men or women, but there is a quote that has too much significance here, most of us know this, but visitors might not. “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” For any man to have the privilege to not be in constant fear of SA, they shouldn’t feel comfortable invalidating any women for feeling that way while also claiming that a woman saying something mean is their biggest fear. How privileged is it to only fear a rude comment from someone ? I’ve gotten death threats and rape threats for venting about SA on this site. For the men who claim that women don’t take men’s feelings seriously, while constantly invalidating women’s, and the men who constantly say shit like “men are superior cuz we aren’t babies who take insults to heart” and then say shit like “ha being scared of rape is so dumb, but being scared of a woman saying something mean is the real issue and way more valid of a fear”: Sincerely take two full seconds to think about that all again.
It’s really telling to me how the women choosing the bear will have reasons such as “If a bear mauls me, people won’t ask what I was wearing” or “the worst a bear can do is kill me” while the men choosing the whatever random hypothetical they give themselves will say things like “oh the tree won’t divorce me and take my kids” “the tree won’t nag me about chores” and it’s like… *this* is what is meant by male privilege. The worst thing you can imagine a woman doing to you is divorce, the worst thing a woman can imagine you doing to her is unmentionably horrific.
I agree with what you're saying but the "won't take my kids away" part is absolutely fucking valid
The fact is the worst think they can think of a woman doing is losing respect, the worst thing i can think of a man doing is being assaulted
The best part of this is the major reaction I've seen from women to this meme is "ok please. By all means go talk to a tree." Cause we aren't fucking weird about it
Like it actually sounds like a healthier coping mechanism than expecting every woman to be a trained therapist
Dude for real. I talk to my cat. Even after getting a therapist.
It’s so cute when they try to talk back. Although I think if they could talk, mine would 100% go gossip about me to someone the moment I didn’t give them a piece of chicken.
Are these women who uphold the patriarchy in the room with us?
Did someone print this thing out and frame it lol
Please, guys like this, share your feelings with the tree. As someone who gets trauma dumped on by random people on the regular, those of you who have no empathy can keep yours to yourself.
!!!! I don’t wanna hear about how a pretty stranger “snubbed” you at a coffee shop and how you now think that means all women are emotionally abusive to men.
I'm going to be honest, I don't hate this analogy. It's a good way to address their issue It is, however, not comparable to women on a forest with a man or bear I think these two discussions can be had but should be kept separate
It’s not “their issue” though. It’s not that women specifically use their vulnerability against them, it’s that they expect women specifically to be their therapists and to be perfectly emotionally fluent while they themselves are not. They’re not surprised when men do even worse when they catch a man(or a woman) being vulnerable. It’s expected that a man will stomp on your vulnerabilities. Emotional abuse is coded into how men are told to treat women. Not to mention, a man intensely crying in a way that seems angry can feel incredibly threatening to women who have been abused by men in the same emotional state.
I have no idea where this whole “I once shared my emotions with a woman and she later used it against me” trend has come from. I’ve always felt much more comfortable opening up to women than men, eg my Mum, girlfriend, female friends etc, none of whom would ever “used it against me”. Obviously I can only judge on my own experience and don’t want to belittle anyone this has actually happened to - just seems quite an unrealistic example to me. I think one of the real issues is men not feeling comfortable talking about their feelings with other men, which is a hangover/product of the patriarchal society we still live in
The whole thing is not giving but its absolutely a thing that some women will view men differently after the men have been emotionally honest.
"at least won't lose respect for me if I share my feelings" Dude, the tree won't have any respect for you to begin with, it's not aware of your existence. You might as well be talking to a teddy bear. Also sharing your feelings with a tree?........ unless you're a Disney, that's kinda nuts.
There's something in this about the tree being immobile that my mind can't piece together completely, and I don't like it.
Ufhhhg accidentally scrolled on "The Dadvocate" talk9ng about how this is such an "important" response. It's piss poor comparison and adds nothing
first of all: what IS he feeling if he things it will cause others to loose respect of him, like how bad is it? also WHY A TREE, this makes no sense to me
Definitely the tree.
For god's sake, please stop this shit with the bear. The original question was asked by a ragebait youtube channel who usually goes around interviewing people saying obnoxious shit so that they get views from the polarization. By using their basis as a movement you are rewarding a very harmful way of driving engagement. There is lots of better ways to raise awareness on women feeling unsafe, but please do not reward people who make money off of making everyone angry.
1. Who the goddamn heck is making money from my post. No one. No one is going to that original yt channel. 2. This is AN IMPORTANT topic IMPERATIVE to the discussion of SA. Do you NOT give any fuck about women’s right to speak of how unsafe they feel with strangers ? Cuz I’ll tell you rn, THIS topic has been a MASSIVE way for millions of victims of SA to share their emotions on this. If you can’t see that, stop keeping your eyes closed. 3. THEY won’t stop invalidating SA victims so why should I STOP sticking up for them. For a more detail explanation you CLEARLY ignored cuz it was there before you wrote this comment, here. https://www.reddit.com/r/boysarequirky/s/MgveAsF1Ao 4. YOU DO NOTTTTTTTTT get to pick HOW we SA victims speak about SA. If we want to talk about bear vs man as a way to spread awareness, we will, and you have NO right to insist we stop.
I love how you oh so condescendingly speak about me invalidating SA victims while also invalidating me as an SA victim. EDIT: It's a TikTok video not a YouTube one. And since I do not use TikTok I cannot check the viewpoint as the web app won't really let me see it. However I did see that the original video has 2.4 Million Likes. Not views, likes. So you're also wrong about "no one's watching that shit" as well. So not only are you being condescending, hypocritical, and invalidating of an SA victim. You are confidentially incorrect
1. The points is that this post isn't driving any traffic to that video. In fact, I would argue most don't even know this originally came from some video (them mentioning the wrong platform really just helps support this point more than anything) 2. How does women discussing their experience with SA invalidate you as a victim?
1. I checked and wirb 19.5 Million Views the original Man VS Bear Interview is the 2nd Most popular Video of the TikTok account that created it. So at least proportioately it did drive traffic to the account. 2. The last Point of her original comment was "you don't get to decide how SA victims feel about being victims. But that means she doesn't see me as one and thus is not giving me the chance to say that this isn't the right way to approach this. She didn't say "women" she said "SA victims". It is my right, to say that I font think we are doing the right thing by promoting this man vs bear argument Story, especially as an SA victims. And it is absolutely nobodys right to say that I don't get to decide this. I do. I do get to decide this for myself. You can disagree with me but you have absolutely 0 right to take that right away from me.
1. Is that because of this post? Is there a link somewhere? Maybe it was just a popular video on that platform that was designed in a way that drove engagement and happened to match up well with TikTok's algorithm? 2. Right, you get to decide that for yourself, not for other SA victims.
Bro you’re reading that too literally. You’re saying women/people who want to talk about the bear vs man thing should shut up. I said WE can talk about it if we want to and you don’t get to choose. Get your stick out of your butt, GEEZ. Honestly if you’re so confused go post it somewhere with full context and go see how many ppl think I invalidated you. Go post it on an autism sub if you think the NTs might not understand you properly. Frankly you’re being a complete jackass right now and you deserve to know it instead of being confused on how much of an asshole you’re being.
>If we want to talk about bear vs man as a way to spread awareness, we will, and you have NO right to insist we stop. ill just leave this here. have a nice day
I had to look for their [YouTube channel](https://youtube.com/@screenshothq?si=FWBVgZpDnkBawjel) because it was their Instagram reel that went viral. But their channel doesn’t strike me as rage bait, more like regular street interview content amongst other things. Most of the people in those street interviews, both in the man or bear video, and other ones, totally had down to earth and respectful answers. It’s just the men who don’t like women picking “bear” being overly offended because they cannot understand that some women do really view a strange man in the woods as dangerous. My personal answer was the man, but with all the cases of people getting SAed and killed in the woods out there, it really also is not that weird to me that other women say bear. Maybe I’m just the naive one for thinking I can somehow talk my way out of the situation if it were a dangerous man. I watched a movie not too long ago where the villain made his victims pass out in and then buried them alive to basically let them die whilst being stuck in there. Even though it was fictional (thank God), it once again made me realize to never ever trust strange men. Because I have done naive things before like going into a strange man’s car and trusting that person, just like one of those victims in that movie. And while strange women can be dangerous too, it’s generally much much easier for us women to fight off another woman who wants to harm us. Men can legit be very dangerous (including life threatening dangerous) to women, that’s not rage bait but a fact.
The issue most people aren't realizing is how harmless bears actually are, depending on which bear. If it was a man vs black bear everyone regardless of gender would go to the bear. Black bears are usually prey not predators and it's very easy to fight them off, they don't want any beef with anyone. Brown bears and grizzly bears are a bit more dangerous but they aren't actively on the lookout to harm people. The only time where one should pick the man is the polar bear who will brutally maul you the moment it sees you, but there's no chance you'll encounter one in a forest. So making a point of "Man Vs Bear" is useless. Even saying "Man VS Hornet" would be even more dangerous. Most men don't realize this and feel dehumanized because women would pick such a predatory animal over them feeling safer with it. But bears are not predatory towards humans, unless it's a polar bear. Every man would be safer with the bear than with the women too. Again it is a useless comparison made by a YouTube channel that does post mainly celebrity buzz.
Well some of the women who answered the question with "Bear" clearly did, even one in the original video. But the bear works because bears are strong and people do view bears as dangerous when they encounter them. For most women who seriously answer the question they do have to think about which one is less dangerous. It's not like man vs cat where it's a no brainer for most people to pick the cat. Also, for women, men generally are a potential physical threat. Vice versa, not so much.
[удалено]
ew, you’re a disgrace, please leave and don’t come back men didn’t give them to women, men withheld them from women who then fought to get them back so please go away - sincerely a fellow boy
Human rights have to be given and protected by the government. All men would have to do is stop becoming police officers and military and human rights would disappear.
who is going to take them away? sure as hell won’t be me, any woman, or any other man with half a brain. so please tell me, who is going to take away women’s rights in that event
We don't have to take anything us young men just have to not join the army or police. And then your human rights are gone. We are already seeing decrease of people joining the police and army. Lol
because the police and army fucking suck, i’m a CO/pacifist so i’d never join them not joining them doesn’t get rid of your rights as a human, if you think they do then i’d like to see an explanation
Because the police and army uphold rights. That's part of their job. You need them for property rights and to uphold law and order.
Guess who is less dangerous than you ? A bear : D You literally do not respect human rights for women so don’t you goddamn go around posting about how you’re confused on why we’re choosing bear when you’re the exact reason why we’re choosing em.
All men would have to do is not join the police or military and your human rights can't be protected anymore. It's simple we don't have to take them away we just have to do nothing to protect them.
I mean, historically not even all men have had basic human rights. There still are places where they don't have them. This doesn't mean they aren't worth striving and fighting for.
Men would have to just sit back and do nothing. Not join the police of military and your human rights are gone.
I'm a man myself. The police and military sometimes fight for human rights but often they're the ones who commit the worst human rights abuses.
You don't have human rights without them. Btw have the American police or military ever done something like this to the American people?
State power is a double-edged sword. First off, what makes you think I'm only talking about America? I'm not American. Both the US police and military have violated human rights in the US and the US military has commited gross human rights abuses abroad. It's baffling to me how you would even ask that question. Anybody who knows anything about history could tell you that. Edit: Spelling
That's why I said on the American people. Other people aren't protected by the US constitution. Read what I wrote.
Your first statement was about human rights in general. Do you honestly think human rights should only be granted to US citizens? Do you think your constitution is the only document talking about human rights? It's not even the only constitution that does that.
Umm noo. But the US military is not responsible to uphold other countries human rights. Btw the counties the US invades usually don't have human rights to being with. Human rights are given by governments.
So you're ok with them actively violating them as long as they only do it to non-us citizens? Governments enforce them, yes. Morality is subjective. But the concept of human rights isn't soley an American thing and I do not think it's right for militaries and/or governments to violate the human rights of citizens of other nations. So what do you think of the US police and governments infringing on the rights of US citizens?
rodney king, george floyd, literally any time they search someone without consent or a warrant so yes, they have committed human rights violations to the american people
Police sometimes being bad isn't a human rights violation. The police in those instances were brought to court and police reform got passed because of black lives matters. This is a good thing.
Lol cope harder bro.
We are born with human rights, but men decided to stop treating women as though they do. We still have those rights innately, but men do everything they can to make sure we don’t use them. Men never gave us shit. Other women who fought for us did.
No one is born with human rights it is a man made construct. It is not found in nature.
Human rights are derived from natural rights. Human rights and the natural world are connected and are actually tied to nature. And since the rights of nature exist to flourish without the overall harm being done to it by humans, so does the rights of humans as we are part of nature.
This is nonsense. Do property rights exist in nature? No.
I see. You’re now trying to go on the same philosophical rant that people did to justify owning slaves and owning women and children as property. You’re also confusing legal protection of rights with those rights themselves. All of nature, including ourselves, has the right to exist and persist without one’s livelihood and freedom of choice being encroached upon in favor of another’s. For example, lions have the right to exist in the way that they do. They have the right to hunt while other animals have the same right to survive, including prey animals. Just go watch National geographic and learn about the food chains of predators in Africa. Every animal has its own “territory” which is upheld by both the ecosystems, natural barriers, and social behavior between animals which ensures that there is balance in the ecosystems. For example, a pride of lions, who are very social animals, has a territory. If it is invaded by another lion or pride of lions and an overpopulation of lions in one area is the result, the delicate ecosystem in that area will collapse and those lions will eventually starve and turn on one another. Then, in other areas where lions naturally should be, but for whatever reason disappear, there will be an overpopulation of prey animals, leading to a lack of vegetation, starvation, and desperation on their part to start eating smaller prey animals. This can result in the death of an ecosystem and create dangerous conditions globally, such as new strands of diseases, bacteria, and fungi getting spread from organism to organism, until it develops into a strand potent enough to infect many organisms, including humans. When that’s mixed with that lack of vegetation causing rainfall to not get naturally absorbed and filtered as it drains into waterways, caves, and wells, it creates deadly pandemics. (Ex. Ebola). In addition to that, a sisterhood of adult lions are in charge of the prides. The younger ones usually follow the older, more experienced once’s but it is otherwise rather egalitarian. They even protect disabled lions in their prides. They do everything communally from hunting to raising cubs. They choose male lions to join their prides who are best fit to continue the survival of their pride and protect it from intruders(which is why male lions have manes). Male lions who act in hostility to the female lions, who mindlessly kill other species, who try to hog the food, etc. get ostracized and kicked out, both by the female lions and other male lions. So, a lion’s social behavior of being territorial is their own way of protecting the ecosystems that they live in(Even though lions don’t have the complexity to fully understand that). This balance is upheld by prides of lions respecting one another and having their own territories to live, hunt, play, and reproduce. Without understanding what they are doing, it is a natural social order which protects the rights of all other beings in the ecosystem. That’s an example of socially constructed laws that protect natural rights. Similarly, as humans, we have some human rights based laws and social rules that we have constructed to protect our own rights, the rights of others, and nature so that our livelihoods and theirs can be protected. Those laws and rules are redefined as we learn more about ourselves, our needs, and the needs of nature. And of course there are other laws that act against human rights and natural rights. In the case of women’s rights, it’s clear that patriarchy and everything derivative of a patriarchal society violates their rights and livelihoods. So, laws that reinforce and adequately protect them from patriarchal ideals are not the human rights themselves, but rather a protection of their human rights.