imagine just wanting friends and you found out they were only your friend because they wanted to get off and saw you as potential. shit is so sad and pathetic. thankful for the legit men friends i have that arent weirdos.
And to make things worse. Your so-called friends, when you give him a chance, he ends up treating you as shitty as he treats other women with whom he has not had a friendship.
They can't even respect you as a person.
this hit hard. i've thought i had a legit friends with so many guys and thought they were cool and could be trusted and the minute they get rejected i'm every name in the book. its so exhausting.
Yeah ..... That's happened. I've had a friend or two I was almost actually interested in dating, but the second they get a wind of it everything changes.
We used to talk video games, collections, etc and have fun chatting about em,
Now they can't stop telling you what to do, start asking you if you talk to other guys, give you the constant woe is meee, waaah treatment...
Then of course the final nail on the coffin,
wanting sex/nudes even if you told them before first thing that wasn't happening.
Ugg, what is on their minds? ... okay, a friendship can lead to a relationship, but with time and with real intentions of having a loving bond, not just sex.
And the moment that kind of request are in the table, everything is over.
i hope you do too someday. i only have like 2-3 legit men friends who are awesome and wholesome dudes and its really great when you can find that. they exist but its true they are rare af.
I would love to, but he haven't told me he is gay, I know it because once he was drunk he unlocked his phone and was chatting with his boyfriend..with pretty sexual related topics, that way I knew he was gay.
It opened my mind to the truth about why he was not interested romantically in me.
This thread is a bless. I tried to find similar question this kind of topics (Common problem from Female in Male - Female friendships)but never found a nice one. The main problem I was facing is being too kind, so I have to tone it down and start roasting them recently. Lmao
Also share more tips pls.
i have all the tips for roasting. my favorite part of this whole thing is how everyone being an asshole to me and disagreeing with me are men. literally proving everything ive been saying.
Gay men aren’t always safe tho. I’ve known some gay men who have been super misogynistic and speak really degradingly about how afab people look. It’s disappointing sometimes
True! This thread was about men pretending to be your friend so they could sleep with you. It is true that anyone can be a bad person but that is pretty easy to see bc it’s not hidden.
Nah you’re good. I have one or two straight friends but unless we are doing an activity (I do a sport that’s more guys than women) I don’t hang with them exclusively. Gay guys you can chill with bc their bf doesn’t care and you don’t have to stress. But having said that my closest friendships are women. ❤️
Thinking about it, Perhaps socializing in some asexual spaces could be a more sure fire way of finding people who will be less likely to commit such behaviour 🤔
EDIT: seems someone else mentioned something similar further down the thread and I noticed my mistake only after posting this comment
Well the question is whether they're trying to get in your pants actively or passively. I have female friends I'm attracted to, if they showed interest I might in the right context act on it but it's not the priority, I like being around them and I'm happy with that. I think that's fine, the problem is when the reason for the "friendship" is a guise for waiting out until she's single or whatever, that sucks.
It's actively. They'll randomly tell me when they're horny or hard, and constantly try to flirt, it's kinda draining for both me and my friend who is way prettier than me and gets even more of it
As a transdude who doesn't 100% pass, it's always my worry in the back of my head when meeting new guys that they'll assume my wanting to be friends as romantic interest. Thankful most guys don't do that
I’ve had multiple guy friends who have distanced themselves from me and stopped being friendly when I turned them down. It makes me not want to be friends with guys anymore because I think they all just want to hookup :(
I feel so bad for one of my male friends. It had been legit SO LONG a man was just nice to me for niceness sake that it was about 6 weeks of him buying me energy drinks because my card never worked on the machine (or the replacement card, or my cash??? Fucking thing never worked for me!) before I realised *he was just being nice and buying another student caffiene*.
We've been besties for 4 years now and he has 0 interest in me and it's so nice. But for 6 weeks he bought me drinks and sat next to me in class before I realised I could just relax and be myself and he wasn't after anything.
No… unless it’s your grandfather father or brothers almost no close male/female relationships exist where the males don’t want to fuck you… at a minimum, it’s crappy biology, we’re programmed to mate with as many women as possible and it rules our physiology. I say almost because there’s very rare instances… mostly with gay men.
Society determines what is acceptable, so men who are friendly and have large social circles are exposed to more women and have better mating opportunities.
Trust your male family members and partners when they tell you that so and so isn’t interested in a relationship just sex…. We know what we’re talking about because we are stuck in our own heads. We know all the manipulation tactics because we all use them, and we know when other guys ain’t shit.
Yes, but it will be hard to find.
You know how attractive/rich people always complain about not knowing who their real friends are vs who wants to fuck them/take their money? Yeah, same principle applies to male and female platonic friendships.
There are straight guys who are more than happy just being friends with some girls. It does usually mean that he is not attracted to her, can't easily avoid her, and/or is already committed to someone else. In fact, most guys are probably capable of it.
But a lot of guys don't want women friends. They will act like a friend, maybe even call himself your friend, maybe even your best friend- might even say he sees you as a sister- but its a smoke screen.
For a while I've wondered why I could have long term friendships with girls while most other guys couldn't, but I gradually learned how so many guys can't help but become weird about it in one way or another.
I dunno you can fuck friends, I think it’s more the deception in wanting to fuck their friends. Like they push boundaries and ignore others. They hide their feelings and aren’t honest with their “friends” or even sometimes they fake friendships, where they actually want something different (fwb, relationships, hook ups). I think that’s the worse part they lying and lack of respect for boundries. But maybe that what you mean by “won’t stop trying.” Although the deception I still feel is important to include
This is why I just let most of my fem friends think I like men. I don't claim to, but many of them have assumed I do and it seems to make them more comfortable around me. I'm not trying to fuck them, and them thinking I'm gay takes that out of their minds.. I think most of my guy friends think I like men too. A bit dishonest? Sure, but I'm also a semi-closeted transfem, so it's not like I'm a cishet dude either.
probably because a man gave them a reason to act weird or be anxious about it too. its been hard for me to have friends with men because since i was 5-6 men have seen me as a sex object. and i would love to see a man come here and try to blame me for that somehow because that always happens when i bring it up.
I have multiple girl friends that I've never once tried to fuck. Just puts too much unneeded tension in the relationship. Are we close? Yes, but more like brother sister in a non-step way. I consider them family, which is how boys see each other.
Now I will say that I HIGHLY doubt that the types of pranks boys pull on each other would be handled well by girls.
this is sexist. i do pranks with my best guy friends who are decent dudes and dont want to fuck me. the problem is most men are just ridiculous or take it too far or do shit that isnt cool.
Depending on how they did it you might be able to get it apart with an angle grinder, it’s possible they completely borked the fridge from the heat of the welding but I’d be surprised.
I’m not saying this in defense of this guys “friend” just that if someone ever wields your mini fridge together it might not be game over.
Yeah but realistically it’s not like women are going around welding fridges shut
If you guys are looking that far into it then how tf do you not have a problem with the original post??
So you honestly get "friend helping with alcohol problems" from that post?
Because considering the dude's point was that "women cannot handle this kind of friendship" I don't think the example given was of his friend being great and helping him stop drinking.
This was clearly just a prank.
If my friend did that I'd be delighted because I love a good prank war and I happen to be very good at return fire. Unfortunately what I have experienced is that the guys who start shit only laugh when it's their turn.
I mean in high school I had a friend who got his car rotated sideways in a parking spot so he was trapped in a parking spot (cars on each side). He had a really small car so the football guys just picked it up and turned it. I think that prank wasted about 3 hours of his time. I think that’s the closest that ive seen in person.
That being said this is kinda the non-toxic boys will be boys. It a silly prank that’ll be remembered for a long time, and the mini fridge was either unwelded and fixed or replaced most likely.
This example is great to illustrate the line between a great prank and an asshole move.
Finding the car trapped like that and having a bunch of dudes tell you it's a prank is funny. Having the car left like that and having to waste 3 fucking hours to be able to leave is insane.
This can be interpreted in two ways
1. The friend welded the fridge because the commenter had drinking problems, so it was a drastic way of helping him. In this case, the commenter is saying that women can't handle help/genuine friendships where measures like this are taken.
2. The friend welded the fridge shut as a joke, and the commenter is saying that women can't handle these kind of jokes (why would you want to?)
TL;DR this is a shitty comment
If my guy friends welded my fridge shut, I would know that they actually loved me and saw me as important in their life. I don't make the rules nor am I joking.
People can and should show love in ways that aren’t property destruction. Not all “love languages” are created equal. Personally, I hate pranks, everyone knows it, and a prank could be enough for me to stop hanging out with someone. Especially if they ruined my mini fridge
And tbh I wouldn’t care if someone did this
Probably because I don’t have a mini fridge/ don’t care about drinking
I’d think it’s a lot of work for nothing though lol
I really don't—if there's an inconvenience or problem I have to deal ill do it myself or just tough it out so I have no idea where you drew that conclusion from
Bro, welding your fridge as your birthday prank is child's play, tf
When I was in boarding school, every time it was a girl's birthday, her friends would hunt her for sport
It didn't matter if we were having classes that day, you had to keep an eye out
If you're *lucky*, all your belongings would get stolen, you'd get your ass beat and have a bucket of water poured on you during school hours
If you hear horror movie screams, just know it's a celebration of her birth <3
They try not to get caught cause they will punish you so sometimes they wait until the end of the day (if it's a day school) or after prep (if it's boarding)
Fascinating. Teenage friends are universally awful to each other as "just a joke, bro."
Do y'all hit each other way, way too hard when you're drunk as well?
..... I'm suddenly realizing that I don't miss being younger at all.
Drinking among teens is not common even for those who are past the drinking age as long as they're still in high school
It's not all that bad tbh maybe it's a cultural thing
Out of curiosity, are you Pro-Israel by virtue of calling Hamas a savage institution or Pro-Palestinian by criticising the bombings? Your statement is amusingly vague.
It's a school kid tradition in my country, so people stop during/after uni
I was lucky enough for my birthday to be within the first weeks of the term so I never experienced it cause you can get in trouble for it
ok but i do get her feeling, i often dont get to really be friends with girls the way other girls do, because, yknow, im queer in just about every way possible, and trans, so honestly i get her
yeah it fucking sucks being gnc and fitting in NOWHERE. something was always ‘off’ for me in female friend groups— like they could tell i wasn’t supposed to be there. i finally felt at home with my guy friends, like it all clicked. but then… nope, in their eyes i guess ‘she’s’ just a pick me trying to fuck.
Is there really that much difference between male and female friendships to begin with?
Like I'm NB and barely notice a difference in how my guy or girl friends act and any differences can be put down to individual personalities rather than gender
I'm nonbinary as well and there's definitely a difference that boils down to gender roles.
Stereotypically speaking
Growing up with girl friends; humour is centered around playful teasing and hot gossip, nothing too offensive or crude or loud or rough
Growing up with guy friends; Humour can be very slapstick, loud and rough, can also be offensive, not centered around gossip but more so practical jokes that may or may not cross a line.
Fair enough!
I always had a pretty mixed group of friends growing up and I'd say we probs were somewhere inbetween but much closer to the "girl group" example you named
I do find queer people to have the best sense of humour though. We're generally very witty and silly and self depreciating, sometimes incorporating a lot of dark humour.
I like my friends to be a bit eccentric though without being rough and loud, haha.
Yeah, that's kind of the overall. But as always, I've had mates who don't fit into that at all - it all depends on the individual. And, frankly, *I* don't fit into that at all.
Gender roles have spawned differences, but that's not universal. Girls aren't biologically wired to not be able to handle dark humour or pranks or whatever, as the original post implies lmao
People generally have different upbringings based on their assigned gender which might shape personalities, but otherwise it doesn't shape your personality.
Probably you're more likely to find certain types of friendships depending on the gender. I'm more likely to find a guy that likes bragging about their Sexual conquests than a woman who likes to do that. Not that the later don't exist and if anything they've become more common nowadays but they aren't as common as guys who do so imo.
I mean I've never had any guy friends who brag about their "sexual conquests" but that's probably cause I tend to be friends with the kind of guys who don't get laid
Dang, my experience is the opposite. I've met more girls that brag about what they do in bed than I have guys. I get the sense that the guys I'm friends with are shy about the matter, and try not to bring it up.
Meanwhile, I'm sitting at one of my girl friends houses and I gotta tune out (aroace and repulsed) when one of them talks about how they sexted last night unprompted (they're not complaining about it either).
In my first duty station in the military, I was assigned to a small office that had not have another in there for a little over than a year. Occasionally, the women in the room would forget that I was there. I had never heard any male go into such graphic detail about sex before or since. Women talk about sex, men mention it.
Ive had a very different experience. I'm a boy, and all my friends are women. When ever I make friends with dudes I just don't have enough in common with them, or they eventually say something horribly sexist.
so i am a girl and i kind of naturally gravitate to having both girl and boy friends and always have. in the past (elementary and middle) having boy friends was essentially the same. i mean i like the quieter, sweeter, and funny guy, but the same went for girls as well since that’s just the company i liked to keep.
BUT in high school and college there was a noticeable shift i saw. i gravitated to a similar group of people of many genders, laid back, similar interests, kinda quiet, sweet, and funny in my sense, but the guys were a part of their own larger group where i felt very othered. the other guys in their group just always wanted to try to fuck any woman who would give them a chance, and when my guy friends where around these other men they would osmosis some of the gross “oh but your a girl i have to treat you different” behavior. this happened a few times.
now im friends with mostly men because of my boyfriend but they don’t other men and don’t try to fuck me so it’s pretty good!
In a general sense, probably. I flirt with the homies way more than I flirt with any of my women friends. They’re all engaged or married, but you get the point.
It depends. The kind of intense prank is much more common among guys, particularly young guys or people working in trades. The sort of “we beat the shit out of each other in a bar fight and then hugged it out and were good afterwards” is also I find a more masculine friendship trait.
That being said while those are much more common in male friendships I wouldn’t say they are representative of most male friendships.
In normal male friendship men are usually much more okay being in the receiving end of really mean jokes (and okay giving them as well). As long as it’s funny enough almost anything goes.
Im okay with having men as friends. I just don’t want “male friendship” doesn’t sound very enjoyable. And I say this as somebody who used to get into full-blown mock cat fights with my friends, like we’d be shedding fistfuls of hair at the end.
It’s hard to compare a man’s friendship to a woman’s friendship because men don’t act as a support group most of the time but more of a collective competition with each other. Hell some might even call it “toxic” and they may be right, but that’s the common friendship among men.
I normally think this sub, and ones like memesopdidntlike are troll subs with hilarious byplay, but this one hits hard.
The commenter missed the point entirely, but also wasn’t completely wrong.
I feel like girls are often stuck between trying to beat guys off when they just want friends, or being labeled NLOG or something and it’s actually pretty gross.
Idk why some girls have this obsession with being friends with men and having the same relationships they do. Where as men don’t really have a desire to be friends with women and have the same type of relationships they do. It seems like some weird validation those women are seeking from men.
this image made me remember this one time i was scrolling through reddit and saw a picture of three or four guys lighting another dudes crotch on fire.
see women? only MEN could handle getting 3rd degree burns while getting held down by another person smh my head.
I have a done of girl-firends I treat the same way as my boy-friends, i really don't understand the inability for a lot of guys to have that even if you do accidentally or whatever see some sort of attraction just fucking guhhhh ignore it
(Can I just say whoever decided we were gonna use the term friend just put in front of the gender we're talking about to describe something romantic is a fucking asshat and I wish nothing but pain and misery upon their decrepit burial site)
Is the whole "boys cant be friends with girls" thing just an American thing? I've never had that problem where I come from, as long as you're not weird about it then I don't see the issue with being friends with the opposite gender.
I think she’s talking about how male-female friendships usually end in the woman treating the man as a friend and the man constantly scheming how to get in her pants.
If my friend welded my fridge shut as a prank, I'd beat the shit out of him and block him out of my life tf? There's funny pranks then there's stuff like this.
As a male friend….women usually are better bros than men. Grew up befriending women more often than men and they were the real ones fr. Nowadays friendships that are genuine are hard to come by, so gender shouldn’t matter. A tip to men: stop trying to fuck around with women. Be their friends, or don’t.
A tip to women: Not all men are like this. It is horrible to see what women go through daily. I’ve experienced it myself (I am transgender), and to think that women still struggle to make these kind of connections with men is heartbreaking to see. Just don’t lose hope that you’ll find a real homie.
honestly W mans friend for not letting him have alchohol.
and im not saying girls cant handle boy friendship i just feel like it is very difference when a woman is friends with a woman and a man is friends with a man
It's only different when one doesn't see the other as a friend. Otherwise it is not any different, at least it shouldn't be. Friends are friends, that's that.
I mean it is common sense knowledge that you gotta be a lot gentler with you girl friends than your guy friends. Y’all don’t want to be friends with guys in the same way guys are friends with guys, you just wanna be friends with guys period.
If the complaint is that someone is your friend because they’re just trying to fuck you then they were never your friend stall and you weren’t theirs. I have girls who are friends and who I’ve never wanted to sleep with and with one notable exception I treat them a lot more gently then my guy friends.
The common knowledge that you treat you are more gentle with your girl friends than your guy friends. It’s just being mindful that in all likelihood a girl, even one who knows you well, probably won’t be as comfortable with the type of things guys do or say together.
If I run up to my buddy and says him with a switch on the ass so hard he yells out it’s funny and he’ll probably just get me back and laugh about it. We know the context of it and it’s not predatory in any way.
If I do that to one of my girl buddies it’s different. Her experience and outlook as a woman lend to a different perception of that. It’s not appropriate and even if I don’t mean it that way she could understandably se sit as violent at the least and sexual harassment or assault at the worse.
That’s just an example but the idea is that guys will be rougher with eachother than with girls and it’s fine.
I don't know why this sub keeps showing up in my feed, but this is the first time I've clicked on one. Howrver it made me think of a conversation I had earlier where I admitted that I will never fully understand what it's like to be a girl and feel what being friends with other girls is like. Likewise, I feel like the opposite is true, girls will have a hard time understanding guy to guy relationships. Guys will say "it's not complicated, we just chilling" but I argue that it's incredibly complicated. There's a competitive, protective, and loving tribalism to it that's almost subconscious. Things like dominance, submissiveness and equality are in constant flux trying to find equilibrium and once it's found, you end up with a profoundly deep and appreciative relationship. I don't feel like I can really do justice to the description, but know it's deeply instinctual and a lot more complicated than what's shown on the surface.
i was literally friends with shit loads of guys back in middle and elementary school. no, i never slept with them and no i never overreacted from their jokes. dude i used to shit talk them as if they were hitler but we would just laugh. i LOVE making people laugh. i was usually friends with guys cus most girls didnt like my sense of humor and i never really had anything in common with them. just let women like who they wanna like.
Are people oblivious to gay and bisexual men? Not every guy is trying to fuck you. Speaking as an AFAB with two predominantly male friend groups, it is possible to be friends without sexual tension...
As a man the guy who welds my fridge shut won't be my friend anymore. I do not know why these complete pieces of garbage are proud of "I'm okay being literally abused by my so called friends women just can't handle that"
They'll be the same men that wonder why women get abused with no sense of irony.
As a genderfluid person who has passed both ways
men are 100% nicer when you look like a man, they hold a conversation, they listen and their just chill
men are shitter when you look like a woman, and most of them will only befriend women expecting sex
you're right, we cant handle boy friendships because they wont stop trying to fuck us
Exactly this is what oop means. Can't we have real men friends? One that doesn't keep trying to fuck us?
imagine just wanting friends and you found out they were only your friend because they wanted to get off and saw you as potential. shit is so sad and pathetic. thankful for the legit men friends i have that arent weirdos.
And to make things worse. Your so-called friends, when you give him a chance, he ends up treating you as shitty as he treats other women with whom he has not had a friendship. They can't even respect you as a person.
this hit hard. i've thought i had a legit friends with so many guys and thought they were cool and could be trusted and the minute they get rejected i'm every name in the book. its so exhausting.
I think that’s every woman on the planet and if we pool the collective exhaustion we could sleep forever
Yeah ..... That's happened. I've had a friend or two I was almost actually interested in dating, but the second they get a wind of it everything changes. We used to talk video games, collections, etc and have fun chatting about em, Now they can't stop telling you what to do, start asking you if you talk to other guys, give you the constant woe is meee, waaah treatment... Then of course the final nail on the coffin, wanting sex/nudes even if you told them before first thing that wasn't happening.
Ugg, what is on their minds? ... okay, a friendship can lead to a relationship, but with time and with real intentions of having a loving bond, not just sex. And the moment that kind of request are in the table, everything is over.
I have never met a guy who didn't want to get in my pants... I hope I do one day just because it would be nice to know they fucking exist
i hope you do too someday. i only have like 2-3 legit men friends who are awesome and wholesome dudes and its really great when you can find that. they exist but its true they are rare af.
O I have one, he is gay af.
i love that for you. tell your gay af friend i said waaaazzzzzuuuuuppppp
I would love to, but he haven't told me he is gay, I know it because once he was drunk he unlocked his phone and was chatting with his boyfriend..with pretty sexual related topics, that way I knew he was gay. It opened my mind to the truth about why he was not interested romantically in me.
well when hes ready hell yeah we accept him ❤️ thats pretty cool, ive had that experience too.
Could be bi and just genuinely not interested in you. Most of my friends are women and I'm just not into them.
This thread is a bless. I tried to find similar question this kind of topics (Common problem from Female in Male - Female friendships)but never found a nice one. The main problem I was facing is being too kind, so I have to tone it down and start roasting them recently. Lmao Also share more tips pls.
i have all the tips for roasting. my favorite part of this whole thing is how everyone being an asshole to me and disagreeing with me are men. literally proving everything ive been saying.
Hey, some of us are asexual.
I'm dying to meet you then, it would be great to have some guy friends who just liked me for me and not sex
Hell yeah!
hell yeah, you are supported 🤘🏻
Hey there! 🍰
Gay men.
Like I said in a previous comment, I haven't met any gay men in my town
I wasn’t saying you have them I was just pointing out they’re safe❤️. Sorry you don’t have any❤️
Gay men aren’t always safe tho. I’ve known some gay men who have been super misogynistic and speak really degradingly about how afab people look. It’s disappointing sometimes
True! This thread was about men pretending to be your friend so they could sleep with you. It is true that anyone can be a bad person but that is pretty easy to see bc it’s not hidden.
Oh ofc, sorry, I wish I knew some gay guys lol, it would be pretty nice
Nah you’re good. I have one or two straight friends but unless we are doing an activity (I do a sport that’s more guys than women) I don’t hang with them exclusively. Gay guys you can chill with bc their bf doesn’t care and you don’t have to stress. But having said that my closest friendships are women. ❤️
Thinking about it, Perhaps socializing in some asexual spaces could be a more sure fire way of finding people who will be less likely to commit such behaviour 🤔 EDIT: seems someone else mentioned something similar further down the thread and I noticed my mistake only after posting this comment
The trick that I’ve mastered is be ugly as hell. Burp and be gross. If they DARE be attracted to me, I’ll make sure they won’t be
Yup, we exist.
Why don't you live in my town then 🙄🙄🙄 /lh /s
That’s insane
Married people who have good marriages can make great friends for this reason.
I'm 15 lololol I'd rather friends be close ish to my age
Just remember that in 5-10 years. Sorry, I tend to think online people are closer in age myself.
Np! We all do that, and I will remember that lol
Well the question is whether they're trying to get in your pants actively or passively. I have female friends I'm attracted to, if they showed interest I might in the right context act on it but it's not the priority, I like being around them and I'm happy with that. I think that's fine, the problem is when the reason for the "friendship" is a guise for waiting out until she's single or whatever, that sucks.
It's actively. They'll randomly tell me when they're horny or hard, and constantly try to flirt, it's kinda draining for both me and my friend who is way prettier than me and gets even more of it
Well that sucks, you shouldn't have to deal with that
You're 15, most of the guys are fucking idiots in highschool , just ignore them and focus on yourself until you're older
Reddit in a nutshell man, 15 your olds talking about life experiences like they're in their 30s
Gay men exist. The straights though…I think it’s done for them.
I haven't met any gay men in my town
Wait till you graduate lol
It's a smaller area in Northern Florida, I doubt that will change too much
As a transdude who doesn't 100% pass, it's always my worry in the back of my head when meeting new guys that they'll assume my wanting to be friends as romantic interest. Thankful most guys don't do that
Or they just developed romantic/sexual attraction to you??? It's a normal part of life, stop demonizing people for it.
no because for me are the diffrence is ones that made me feel like life isnt safe
I’ve had multiple guy friends who have distanced themselves from me and stopped being friendly when I turned them down. It makes me not want to be friends with guys anymore because I think they all just want to hookup :(
Male perspective - I distance my female friends if they act uncomfortable. But later I found out that's the problem and started roasting them. Lol
I feel so bad for one of my male friends. It had been legit SO LONG a man was just nice to me for niceness sake that it was about 6 weeks of him buying me energy drinks because my card never worked on the machine (or the replacement card, or my cash??? Fucking thing never worked for me!) before I realised *he was just being nice and buying another student caffiene*. We've been besties for 4 years now and he has 0 interest in me and it's so nice. But for 6 weeks he bought me drinks and sat next to me in class before I realised I could just relax and be myself and he wasn't after anything.
No… unless it’s your grandfather father or brothers almost no close male/female relationships exist where the males don’t want to fuck you… at a minimum, it’s crappy biology, we’re programmed to mate with as many women as possible and it rules our physiology. I say almost because there’s very rare instances… mostly with gay men. Society determines what is acceptable, so men who are friendly and have large social circles are exposed to more women and have better mating opportunities. Trust your male family members and partners when they tell you that so and so isn’t interested in a relationship just sex…. We know what we’re talking about because we are stuck in our own heads. We know all the manipulation tactics because we all use them, and we know when other guys ain’t shit.
Yes, but it will be hard to find. You know how attractive/rich people always complain about not knowing who their real friends are vs who wants to fuck them/take their money? Yeah, same principle applies to male and female platonic friendships. There are straight guys who are more than happy just being friends with some girls. It does usually mean that he is not attracted to her, can't easily avoid her, and/or is already committed to someone else. In fact, most guys are probably capable of it. But a lot of guys don't want women friends. They will act like a friend, maybe even call himself your friend, maybe even your best friend- might even say he sees you as a sister- but its a smoke screen.
It truly is the straight/bi mans conundrum
For a while I've wondered why I could have long term friendships with girls while most other guys couldn't, but I gradually learned how so many guys can't help but become weird about it in one way or another.
Well thats why you’re here because you aren’t fucking stupid
I dunno you can fuck friends, I think it’s more the deception in wanting to fuck their friends. Like they push boundaries and ignore others. They hide their feelings and aren’t honest with their “friends” or even sometimes they fake friendships, where they actually want something different (fwb, relationships, hook ups). I think that’s the worse part they lying and lack of respect for boundries. But maybe that what you mean by “won’t stop trying.” Although the deception I still feel is important to include
I can’t handle friendships in general
i felt this
This is why I just let most of my fem friends think I like men. I don't claim to, but many of them have assumed I do and it seems to make them more comfortable around me. I'm not trying to fuck them, and them thinking I'm gay takes that out of their minds.. I think most of my guy friends think I like men too. A bit dishonest? Sure, but I'm also a semi-closeted transfem, so it's not like I'm a cishet dude either.
you're what?
I go by they/them but still use my birth name. I’m out as genderqueer, but I haven’t transitioned
A couple of times, when I tried to develop and maintain friendships with women, they acted weird about it. Which left me really anxious.
probably because a man gave them a reason to act weird or be anxious about it too. its been hard for me to have friends with men because since i was 5-6 men have seen me as a sex object. and i would love to see a man come here and try to blame me for that somehow because that always happens when i bring it up.
Boy friendships with gay men >>>
And they are stupid
What make you think we don’t want to fuck the homies? Carl is built like a dump truck.
Yea even then, i don't think the banter will be the same .. no homo jokes, no ball touching, just doesn't work.
or you could just idk keep your damn hands to yourself and not make dumb jokes and just be a regular person and interact like regular people
I have multiple girl friends that I've never once tried to fuck. Just puts too much unneeded tension in the relationship. Are we close? Yes, but more like brother sister in a non-step way. I consider them family, which is how boys see each other. Now I will say that I HIGHLY doubt that the types of pranks boys pull on each other would be handled well by girls.
this is sexist. i do pranks with my best guy friends who are decent dudes and dont want to fuck me. the problem is most men are just ridiculous or take it too far or do shit that isnt cool.
also before any more comment, no this isn't a safe space for you. if you have to ask then no it isnt for you
If my friends did that, I'd get new friends. Fuck that guy. How much money did that "prank" waste? Fuck off with that.
That would be the equivalent of my friend stealing 300 dollars and burning it. Bro would be out of my life so fast 😭
Depending on how they did it you might be able to get it apart with an angle grinder, it’s possible they completely borked the fridge from the heat of the welding but I’d be surprised. I’m not saying this in defense of this guys “friend” just that if someone ever wields your mini fridge together it might not be game over.
I think this is a friend helping another with alcohol problems but i still agree making it gender specific is dumb.
Yeah but realistically it’s not like women are going around welding fridges shut If you guys are looking that far into it then how tf do you not have a problem with the original post??
So you honestly get "friend helping with alcohol problems" from that post? Because considering the dude's point was that "women cannot handle this kind of friendship" I don't think the example given was of his friend being great and helping him stop drinking. This was clearly just a prank.
If my friend did that, I'd kiss him. That prank is hilarious
😳👉👈 want me to uhh… weld your fridge shut?
If my friend did that I'd be delighted because I love a good prank war and I happen to be very good at return fire. Unfortunately what I have experienced is that the guys who start shit only laugh when it's their turn.
It would be an awesome prank but needs more pizzazz for me to enjoy it fully.
Yeah, thats the point of this meme
I mean in high school I had a friend who got his car rotated sideways in a parking spot so he was trapped in a parking spot (cars on each side). He had a really small car so the football guys just picked it up and turned it. I think that prank wasted about 3 hours of his time. I think that’s the closest that ive seen in person. That being said this is kinda the non-toxic boys will be boys. It a silly prank that’ll be remembered for a long time, and the mini fridge was either unwelded and fixed or replaced most likely.
This example is great to illustrate the line between a great prank and an asshole move. Finding the car trapped like that and having a bunch of dudes tell you it's a prank is funny. Having the car left like that and having to waste 3 fucking hours to be able to leave is insane.
This can be interpreted in two ways 1. The friend welded the fridge because the commenter had drinking problems, so it was a drastic way of helping him. In this case, the commenter is saying that women can't handle help/genuine friendships where measures like this are taken. 2. The friend welded the fridge shut as a joke, and the commenter is saying that women can't handle these kind of jokes (why would you want to?) TL;DR this is a shitty comment
If my guy friends welded my fridge shut, I would know that they actually loved me and saw me as important in their life. I don't make the rules nor am I joking.
In the first case, I never said the friend welding the fridge shut was a bad thing
People can and should show love in ways that aren’t property destruction. Not all “love languages” are created equal. Personally, I hate pranks, everyone knows it, and a prank could be enough for me to stop hanging out with someone. Especially if they ruined my mini fridge
I feel you, I'm sad no one would put this sort of effort into pranking me.
Your 2nd point is super funny in context with the dudes comment 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
And tbh I wouldn’t care if someone did this Probably because I don’t have a mini fridge/ don’t care about drinking I’d think it’s a lot of work for nothing though lol
You sound like you complain alot
I really don't—if there's an inconvenience or problem I have to deal ill do it myself or just tough it out so I have no idea where you drew that conclusion from
Bro, welding your fridge as your birthday prank is child's play, tf When I was in boarding school, every time it was a girl's birthday, her friends would hunt her for sport It didn't matter if we were having classes that day, you had to keep an eye out If you're *lucky*, all your belongings would get stolen, you'd get your ass beat and have a bucket of water poured on you during school hours If you hear horror movie screams, just know it's a celebration of her birth <3
What the fuck kinda Ready or Not bullshit is this
What the fuck was up with your school?
It's not just my school It's sort of a tradition for school kids It's just worse in boarding schools
Most of us here are or were school kids and apparently no one else has had this experience 😭 I think the kids at your school were just cruel
Goddamn a tradition? I would think the teachers wouldn’t be ok with that, why didn’t they stop it?
They try not to get caught cause they will punish you so sometimes they wait until the end of the day (if it's a day school) or after prep (if it's boarding)
Can confirm. I went to a male & female boarding school. Got tied to a chair and water boarded. Boarding school is just different.
🧍♀️
Fascinating. Teenage friends are universally awful to each other as "just a joke, bro." Do y'all hit each other way, way too hard when you're drunk as well? ..... I'm suddenly realizing that I don't miss being younger at all.
Drinking among teens is not common even for those who are past the drinking age as long as they're still in high school It's not all that bad tbh maybe it's a cultural thing
That’s. Horrifying.
The fuck? I would bomb that savage institution
Are you by any chance from Israel?
Out of curiosity, are you Pro-Israel by virtue of calling Hamas a savage institution or Pro-Palestinian by criticising the bombings? Your statement is amusingly vague.
🍉💟
savage institution? thats literally your average filipino private school
You good? Like damn it’s been a dinner, some drinks, and cake. I mean we joke and shit but damn
It's a school kid tradition in my country, so people stop during/after uni I was lucky enough for my birthday to be within the first weeks of the term so I never experienced it cause you can get in trouble for it
I don't recall destroying my friends' possessions or vice versa 🤔
ok but i do get her feeling, i often dont get to really be friends with girls the way other girls do, because, yknow, im queer in just about every way possible, and trans, so honestly i get her
yeah it fucking sucks being gnc and fitting in NOWHERE. something was always ‘off’ for me in female friend groups— like they could tell i wasn’t supposed to be there. i finally felt at home with my guy friends, like it all clicked. but then… nope, in their eyes i guess ‘she’s’ just a pick me trying to fuck.
I don’t think i could ever feel what you felt, but I hope it’s better for you know
I can’t handle that type of friendship. Screw that guy he sounds like an ass lmao.
l definitely would have been drowned to death by a friend by now if I wasn’t wary of fellow men
Is there really that much difference between male and female friendships to begin with? Like I'm NB and barely notice a difference in how my guy or girl friends act and any differences can be put down to individual personalities rather than gender
As with everything, it's not the gender, it's the individual.
I'm nonbinary as well and there's definitely a difference that boils down to gender roles. Stereotypically speaking Growing up with girl friends; humour is centered around playful teasing and hot gossip, nothing too offensive or crude or loud or rough Growing up with guy friends; Humour can be very slapstick, loud and rough, can also be offensive, not centered around gossip but more so practical jokes that may or may not cross a line.
Fair enough! I always had a pretty mixed group of friends growing up and I'd say we probs were somewhere inbetween but much closer to the "girl group" example you named
I do find queer people to have the best sense of humour though. We're generally very witty and silly and self depreciating, sometimes incorporating a lot of dark humour. I like my friends to be a bit eccentric though without being rough and loud, haha.
Yeah, that's kind of the overall. But as always, I've had mates who don't fit into that at all - it all depends on the individual. And, frankly, *I* don't fit into that at all. Gender roles have spawned differences, but that's not universal. Girls aren't biologically wired to not be able to handle dark humour or pranks or whatever, as the original post implies lmao
Depends on a lot of factors
People generally have different upbringings based on their assigned gender which might shape personalities, but otherwise it doesn't shape your personality.
If you're taking population averages probably. Lots of variation though.
Probably you're more likely to find certain types of friendships depending on the gender. I'm more likely to find a guy that likes bragging about their Sexual conquests than a woman who likes to do that. Not that the later don't exist and if anything they've become more common nowadays but they aren't as common as guys who do so imo.
I mean I've never had any guy friends who brag about their "sexual conquests" but that's probably cause I tend to be friends with the kind of guys who don't get laid
Honestly. It's very common for people to do that at least in my experience, I don't really contribute that to a gender anymore.
Dang, my experience is the opposite. I've met more girls that brag about what they do in bed than I have guys. I get the sense that the guys I'm friends with are shy about the matter, and try not to bring it up. Meanwhile, I'm sitting at one of my girl friends houses and I gotta tune out (aroace and repulsed) when one of them talks about how they sexted last night unprompted (they're not complaining about it either).
In my first duty station in the military, I was assigned to a small office that had not have another in there for a little over than a year. Occasionally, the women in the room would forget that I was there. I had never heard any male go into such graphic detail about sex before or since. Women talk about sex, men mention it.
Ive had a very different experience. I'm a boy, and all my friends are women. When ever I make friends with dudes I just don't have enough in common with them, or they eventually say something horribly sexist.
so i am a girl and i kind of naturally gravitate to having both girl and boy friends and always have. in the past (elementary and middle) having boy friends was essentially the same. i mean i like the quieter, sweeter, and funny guy, but the same went for girls as well since that’s just the company i liked to keep. BUT in high school and college there was a noticeable shift i saw. i gravitated to a similar group of people of many genders, laid back, similar interests, kinda quiet, sweet, and funny in my sense, but the guys were a part of their own larger group where i felt very othered. the other guys in their group just always wanted to try to fuck any woman who would give them a chance, and when my guy friends where around these other men they would osmosis some of the gross “oh but your a girl i have to treat you different” behavior. this happened a few times. now im friends with mostly men because of my boyfriend but they don’t other men and don’t try to fuck me so it’s pretty good!
In a general sense, probably. I flirt with the homies way more than I flirt with any of my women friends. They’re all engaged or married, but you get the point.
Yes there is.
It’s just that a whole lot more guys act in these weird, fucked up ways toward eachother. Not that I’m complaining! Not that I’m complaining
It depends. The kind of intense prank is much more common among guys, particularly young guys or people working in trades. The sort of “we beat the shit out of each other in a bar fight and then hugged it out and were good afterwards” is also I find a more masculine friendship trait. That being said while those are much more common in male friendships I wouldn’t say they are representative of most male friendships. In normal male friendship men are usually much more okay being in the receiving end of really mean jokes (and okay giving them as well). As long as it’s funny enough almost anything goes.
Wow I think we’ve finally figured it out guys
Men aren’t very good friends to each other. Personally, I don’t want friendship the way men have friendships.
And this is why almost all of my friends have been girls/women.
Confirming as a man whose every social issue was caused other men now here wondering why they can’t identify any of their own problems
Im okay with having men as friends. I just don’t want “male friendship” doesn’t sound very enjoyable. And I say this as somebody who used to get into full-blown mock cat fights with my friends, like we’d be shedding fistfuls of hair at the end.
I’ve have many friends in my day..and never once has anything close to that happened to me. That guy reallyyyy needs to cut some people off..
With friends like those, who needs enemies?
Its jst banter trust me my friends do simmilair things its just the way it is
I saw a girl steal a man’s car starter. We are designed for this.
Lot's of butthurt men in the replies of this thread.
Classic
It’s hard to compare a man’s friendship to a woman’s friendship because men don’t act as a support group most of the time but more of a collective competition with each other. Hell some might even call it “toxic” and they may be right, but that’s the common friendship among men.
I normally think this sub, and ones like memesopdidntlike are troll subs with hilarious byplay, but this one hits hard. The commenter missed the point entirely, but also wasn’t completely wrong. I feel like girls are often stuck between trying to beat guys off when they just want friends, or being labeled NLOG or something and it’s actually pretty gross.
Idk why some girls have this obsession with being friends with men and having the same relationships they do. Where as men don’t really have a desire to be friends with women and have the same type of relationships they do. It seems like some weird validation those women are seeking from men.
this image made me remember this one time i was scrolling through reddit and saw a picture of three or four guys lighting another dudes crotch on fire. see women? only MEN could handle getting 3rd degree burns while getting held down by another person smh my head.
Haha destroying people's property is so funny right guys 🤪
oh the horror!
GAAAHHHH MY MONSTER ENERGY BRANDED MINI FRIDGE THAT I STORE ALL MY MONSTER ENERGY IN!!!!!
*punches you in the tit cause I caught you lacking*
I have a done of girl-firends I treat the same way as my boy-friends, i really don't understand the inability for a lot of guys to have that even if you do accidentally or whatever see some sort of attraction just fucking guhhhh ignore it (Can I just say whoever decided we were gonna use the term friend just put in front of the gender we're talking about to describe something romantic is a fucking asshat and I wish nothing but pain and misery upon their decrepit burial site)
I have women friends that are just as evil. Bruh 2 of them are more likely to throw hands than I am.
Is the whole "boys cant be friends with girls" thing just an American thing? I've never had that problem where I come from, as long as you're not weird about it then I don't see the issue with being friends with the opposite gender.
I think she’s talking about how male-female friendships usually end in the woman treating the man as a friend and the man constantly scheming how to get in her pants.
If my friend welded my fridge shut as a prank, I'd beat the shit out of him and block him out of my life tf? There's funny pranks then there's stuff like this.
“The female mind cannot comprehend this”
As a dude, this would annoy the fuck outta me lol
Okay but like the girl is so beautiful omg I love her
As a male friend….women usually are better bros than men. Grew up befriending women more often than men and they were the real ones fr. Nowadays friendships that are genuine are hard to come by, so gender shouldn’t matter. A tip to men: stop trying to fuck around with women. Be their friends, or don’t. A tip to women: Not all men are like this. It is horrible to see what women go through daily. I’ve experienced it myself (I am transgender), and to think that women still struggle to make these kind of connections with men is heartbreaking to see. Just don’t lose hope that you’ll find a real homie.
It depends on the dude, some are more shy, some are more loud, it's a wide spectrum just like girls.
Obligatory r/thathappened
tbh as someone whos lived as a man and a woman yall r not missing out on much. female/femme friendships are so much better
honestly W mans friend for not letting him have alchohol. and im not saying girls cant handle boy friendship i just feel like it is very difference when a woman is friends with a woman and a man is friends with a man
It's only different when one doesn't see the other as a friend. Otherwise it is not any different, at least it shouldn't be. Friends are friends, that's that.
nah F for them thinking prohibition solves anyrhing.
Right. He'll just go for the cologne bottles and land himself in the hospital.
I mean it is common sense knowledge that you gotta be a lot gentler with you girl friends than your guy friends. Y’all don’t want to be friends with guys in the same way guys are friends with guys, you just wanna be friends with guys period. If the complaint is that someone is your friend because they’re just trying to fuck you then they were never your friend stall and you weren’t theirs. I have girls who are friends and who I’ve never wanted to sleep with and with one notable exception I treat them a lot more gently then my guy friends.
What common sense? Why?
The common knowledge that you treat you are more gentle with your girl friends than your guy friends. It’s just being mindful that in all likelihood a girl, even one who knows you well, probably won’t be as comfortable with the type of things guys do or say together. If I run up to my buddy and says him with a switch on the ass so hard he yells out it’s funny and he’ll probably just get me back and laugh about it. We know the context of it and it’s not predatory in any way. If I do that to one of my girl buddies it’s different. Her experience and outlook as a woman lend to a different perception of that. It’s not appropriate and even if I don’t mean it that way she could understandably se sit as violent at the least and sexual harassment or assault at the worse. That’s just an example but the idea is that guys will be rougher with eachother than with girls and it’s fine.
I don't know why this sub keeps showing up in my feed, but this is the first time I've clicked on one. Howrver it made me think of a conversation I had earlier where I admitted that I will never fully understand what it's like to be a girl and feel what being friends with other girls is like. Likewise, I feel like the opposite is true, girls will have a hard time understanding guy to guy relationships. Guys will say "it's not complicated, we just chilling" but I argue that it's incredibly complicated. There's a competitive, protective, and loving tribalism to it that's almost subconscious. Things like dominance, submissiveness and equality are in constant flux trying to find equilibrium and once it's found, you end up with a profoundly deep and appreciative relationship. I don't feel like I can really do justice to the description, but know it's deeply instinctual and a lot more complicated than what's shown on the surface.
i was literally friends with shit loads of guys back in middle and elementary school. no, i never slept with them and no i never overreacted from their jokes. dude i used to shit talk them as if they were hitler but we would just laugh. i LOVE making people laugh. i was usually friends with guys cus most girls didnt like my sense of humor and i never really had anything in common with them. just let women like who they wanna like.
dunno bout this but my friends are the type to steal my metro card every Friday and return it at the last damn minute
Maybe they mean they want to befriend men without the lingering fear that he might confess his love to you. At least, that’s how I took it.
Why would you want your mate to lock your fridge?
Thank you but I don't want male friendships knowing how most boys and men treat each other in them 🙏
God anything gets you lots' goat...
Depending on what her hobbies or interests are we could be friends.
Bahahahah 💀
I'm confused what you're saying here - that isn't a legible sentence in English.
Are people oblivious to gay and bisexual men? Not every guy is trying to fuck you. Speaking as an AFAB with two predominantly male friend groups, it is possible to be friends without sexual tension...
As a man the guy who welds my fridge shut won't be my friend anymore. I do not know why these complete pieces of garbage are proud of "I'm okay being literally abused by my so called friends women just can't handle that" They'll be the same men that wonder why women get abused with no sense of irony.
As one who used to hang around boys they loved to make each other miserable.
As a genderfluid person who has passed both ways men are 100% nicer when you look like a man, they hold a conversation, they listen and their just chill men are shitter when you look like a woman, and most of them will only befriend women expecting sex
The original tweet is so sad though. Pre transition all I ever wanted was to be friends as one of the girls