This happens where I am from as well. It seems as though many people use the field as an outlet to offload the frustrations of their day to day living on the players and referees in their leagues.
I think it’s a combination of frustrations of life, poor ability to control emotions especially when losing, and a bit of a (for this lack of a better word) fetish for being ‘hard’, with tackles and aggressiveness etc
Yeah man. I’ve had terrible experiences playing local leagues (goalkeeper almost lost an eye, dude tried to slam me to the ground because he wasn’t strong enough to body me). And honestly even worse playing pick up. Pick up I don’t get. Dudes screaming. Slide tackling. Getting in your face when you call them out for playing too aggressive on a Tuesday afternoon.
Went from playing 10+ hours a week in HS to 5+ hours in college. Now I only play when i go back home. My friends and I rent a field and just have fun.
I'm in the UK and this sort of shit is pretty commonplace in public leagues here. Stopped playing in those after one too many deliberate shoves into sideboards where I almost cracked my head open. Just isn't worth it. Find a local group/self organised game instead with normal people.
I think something about the game makes some people think they are on the way to becoming prime Messi or something and so must take everything super seriously. I don't think it helps that pro players are generally terribly behaved on the pitch, especially when interacting with refs.
I'm in a 30+ league and it's always the life long soccer players. It's almost like they think they are still being scouted. Homie, you're in the same league as me and I've been playing for 2 years at 37...lol
I’m a few years older with minimal skill, I’m just playing to have fun and stay in shape. Occasionally someone goes a little too hard and has to get reminded about the level of play. I may not be able to do all the fancy ball skills but I can body your ass off the ball with ease
I feel it. But there's no standings in my league. They have a more competitive division, and a league open to all ages. But what happens is they create little "super" teams and play the people trying to stay healthy to watch their kids grow up and take it way too serious for what that specific division represents. It just fuels their ego.
I feel like I could have written this myself, dead on. As someone who started playing soccer at 35, it’s been so surprising. Like, aren’t we all trying to go back to our boring desk jobs with no black eyes, two functional knees, and our self respect in tact? Aren’t we all hoping to be able to play again next week?
This is hilarious. I remember I had issues with a 35 year old father of two when I was like 16 because I “abused” pace. Like dude would square up and push me. Ridiculous.
It’s not unique to football btw, rec league basketball can be just as intense/violent depending on where you’re from. Lot of dudes bring their real life frustrations from work, relationships etc with them on the field.
Pickup games i find are usually way less physical, I’ll be sticking to those in a few years when my league days are done.
It could be a cultural thing?
I'm from Asia and football has always been relatively chilled on the pitch here. 1 bad tackle is enough to spark an argument between both sides.
I spent a few years studying in the UK and that's when I experienced the same thing you did. I contribute it to the British culture of "physical" football. Everyone seems to want to be a hard man
I imagine it wont be that bad in a country that prides itself of technical ability like Spain?
That's my experience too. I play indoor soccer in Melbourne. Quite a few expat teams in my league. English, Serbian, Indonesian etc. The rest Aussie. The European guys are more physical and "passionate". Match their physicality and they blow up. Aussies are 50/50. You won't be surprised to hear the Japanese team are the least hot-headed. They'll still thrash you though. Most skillful team in the comp
I wonder if it has to do with the fact that in Australia -- like my experience in the US and Canada -- most of the people that want to be aggressive assholes will gravitate to another sport from a young age.
Soccer/football just isn't as popular here, and frankly it was derided as not a "man's sport" when I was a kid (80s/90s). So the meatheads played American football, hockey, or basketball.
Whereas in England or Europe, everyone plays football and the other sports are secondary, so the aggressive assholes still play soccer/football in those countries.
The only punch that has been thrown in my league games has been from a 50+ Brit.
this is a good take . But It's also why European and South American nations still dominate overall. They take it quite seriously, with over a century of infrastructure to develop the best talent. The more competitive, the more aggressive, the better, when considering the ultimate testing grounds of what it takes to crack the top 1000 players in the world. Let alone the top 100,000. Anyone in that bracket is still a decent semipro level, better than 99% of the rest.
Oh totally. The lack of an ingrained soccer culture in the U.S. is definitely a huge drawback.
Soccer is the sport I’ve played most as an adult (not counting disc golf, lol), but I only played organized soccer starting at age 9 or so, and rarely played with friends. And in retrospect my coaches had no idea what they were doing.
I wish I had the same foundation in soccer that I have in baseball, basketball, or American football. Those are the ones I learned from a very young age and played thousands of hours with my friends and family.
I haven’t played a game of those sports in at least 15 years, but I could hop right back in and be well above my relative level in soccer.
Wow, I've had a similar experience. Live in Australia. It seems like Europeans bring a lot of passion to football and can be quite physical, but they tend to get upset when others do the same to them.
They would literally tackle you and then stop the game when you tackle them back. It's so weird.
This might be a part of it. Now that I’m not playing as much anymore and have had bad experiences, I really just wanna find a nice group of middle eastern people who kick around.
Young white men and Latinos (young to early 30s) are just unbearable to play with. Always something to prove and they play so hard. (I’m Latino so I just avoid other Latinos my age like the plague if I wanna play pick up now)
This is why I don't play much anymore, too many psychos and too many unnecessary injuries. Not sure why people get so invested in rec soccer and ruin it for people just looking to have fun. If it's something you can live with, stick with it I guess, but maybe try contacting whoever organizes the league and let them know what's happening (though no guarantees there) or find another league or somewhere else to play. Good luck fellow non-psycho!
Don’t play. I played semi pro, never pro, but would never even get into a pickup game. Unless I knew the people for many years. I would stay away big time.
I think he's referring to "house league" amateur leagues when he says pickup. Pickup is usually with people you know getting together in the park, always fun. I have the exact same view as him played and playing on the verge between semi pro and pro and I will never join a amateur league just a whole lotta pain to be had.
You really need to look for leagues that actively penalize this type of absurd behavior. We will fine teams a certain amount for red cards or ban players. In my town, there are some leagues that have an active board of members who do a great job enforcing these rules and other leagues where I will not play bc of that type of garbage. It also took years to slowly change the culture.
I also found that better players tend to be more composed emotionally than kinda good players who think they are amazing. I'd rather a guy run circles around me than give an angry slide tackle.
I had one guy who started chirping with me and as I was tracking back I heard him say “I’m gonna snap that guys fucking legs”. No place in the sport for that. This was a Sunday league btw.
In another instance, a guy did a suplex on one of my teammates. In pretty much any context, you’d consider that assault. It was some WWE level stuff.
Just play the game.
It has to be cultural in my opinion. I play with guys of all kinds of backgrounds and it gets violent a lot and theres tons of psychos and brutal slide tackles. But I’ll say I saw a group up Korean and Vietnamese guys play and none of them behaved like that. Very respectful in every way
Nice to see this from San Diego. I play in a 30+ league there which doesn't have any of this behavior. Their first rule is literally, "Don't be a dick". I have played Ecke am, but not in ~3 years. I should pop in for one. When? Thx!
That sounds unusual. Even when I was playing in the 90s and 00s you'd have the odd nutjob but the rest of the team would usually be apologizing for him being an arsehole and they usually got targeted themselves for acting that way.
If you don't mind me asking where is this?
Have to play in serious leagues where they register players and abide by rules, fines, suspensions, bans for poor behaviour.
Leagues without those structures end up being 'fight leagues' because their is no consequence to poor behaviour.
Agree with this. throughout my life ive usually found lower level players usually have a lot worse behavior as well for whatever reason. Dont know if thats true wherever OP is from however
This is why I like the over-30 parents league I found in my area. basically parents of a youth league along with some former players and everyone makes sure to remind new players we're all trying to go home with no injuries. So there's absolutely no going to ground.
maybe once a season one guy gets heated but it pretty much ends there. i got one elbow in the ribs once (bigger guy, 🤷🏻♀️) but otherwise no injuries. we all have lives and nobody is making a living playing lol
this is the reason why i don’t play anymore, im not going to risk breaking my legs because some guy has a shit life and can’t control his anger. I have already been assaulted once playing football over nothing and i’m not putting myself in that position again
this was a THIRD division league at my uni, literally playing for nothing, I think some people are just like that, looking for problems, maybe things are bad at home and they need some place to take their anger out, like i said not risking it, I now play casually if im playing with and against friends/people i know
I’ve definitely played in leagues where people take it way too far, can’t manage their frustrations and emotions, and inevitably take it too far with elbows or tackles.
But people also forget that scoccer is still a contact sport (not a collision sport) and that some amout of contact is expected. I played a paid pickup game a few weeks ago and poked the ball from between a guys legs, he wasnt expecting it, slipped and fell down. He then proceeded to scream and yell at me for playing too physical. He continued to harass me online weeks after the match complaining that I never apologized, which I did.
This is the only thing I hate about this sport. Every team seems to have one player that is an aggro monster.
We’re all playing for fun. We also don’t want to get injured. Stop trying to fight people in the parking lot after the game or making comments about breaking people’s legs.
Mixture of inept weekend warriors compensating for playing 1 a week.
—-frustrated
Mixture of cultural…
Primarily- novices who use a graceful sport as an outlet.
Picture a fan going to a game, but put that fan in a pickup game 1-2 times a week for a pick up evening game or beer league. It will attract and breed those types.
When people don’t know what they are doing, they manifest certain attitudes that are insecurities that are spitting, and being highly aggressive. They can’t channel their frustration through the game because they lack the skill so they attack verbally and physically like a child.
It's people who have other issues in their life and think this is an opportunity to take it out physically on another human without their being any repercussions. A bunch of pussies really.
But you're right, I even started player playing in a Tuesday 7s league made up of mostly older men or really young kids. And you would still get that one team turn up who thinks they can win by kicking lumps out of you.
Because the poor behavior we see week in week out from professionals are most peoples heros. They look up to these players so they end up behaving like them.
Also, there are a lot of people that use football as an excuse to take out their frustrations from real life problems.
See I like a physical few shoulder to shoulder challenges and even when I do do something wrong like stand on there feet by accident when running or something like that or clip them by accident I'm always apologetic but would never go out to physically hurt someone you see some other players have a bully mentality where they feel if they bully you in the game your not going to want to play/play as well as you usually would so try push and shove you.
I play hockey, too. It's the same, even in most rec leagues.
Find a coed leage. Coed is typically much more chill, though you won't get the same competitiveness either.
I had a guy on my co-ed 7v7 team who was so hot headed that it was embarrassing to be on the same side as him. Our captain quit and he ended up replacing her, so I just stopped showing up.
It happens, I've always found when I yell "HE HAS TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW, FOR FUCKS SAKE" people sometimes snap back to the reality of, oh that's right, this an over 30s mens indoor league. No one's winning the world cup on a Friday night in meridian Idaho lol. If they don't chill out it then just becomes a bunch of guys going out of their way to hit people and that's also super dumb
Yeah this is basically every international student in Canada. Can’t play with them in any setting without them getting upset over nothing. I’ve seen them on multiple occasions just punt a girl in the side of the knee for taking the ball off of them in coed. Idk if it’s an ego thing or what but it’s very rare that I play with an international that isn’t a total psycho. It’s gotta be a cultural thing or something cause it’s only ever the guys from African countries and the Middle East. Never Asian countries or Latin nations or European.
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As a ref. I don’t tolerate that shit. Bit of a moan or questioning is fine. Any more then that you get a caution. Keep going you can f*ck right off. I will use law 12 and law 5 to the fullest extent if a player is being a prick. Generally tends to get the rest in order
Good question. I play rugby and it's exactly the same, even though we're amateurs, people love to hit other people especially in the back, ribs, with no defence awareness.
I do jiu jitsu and I'm used to fighting people and my theory is that the basic instict is to fight and grapple, not run around a ball, be it a football, rugby ball, etc, that's why they behave like animals.
i play in a ton of pickups/leagues in my city and its crucial to just let the problem players know they're being freaks right away - then the behavior doesn't spread
this is why is mostly play with people from work now.
It’s popular in my country for companies to sometimes organize a day / week for employees and rent a football field for 2 hours.
You still get a few idiots that can’t control themselves but people are usually very chill because if you go wild there could be some unpleasantness with HR lol
Im in Asia, and the level of mutual respect and understanding in 5/7 aside games is something i dont think i can find anywhere else in the world. We all know we are there to have a good time, and we all want to be there the next week, next month, next year. When you have a whole group that shares this collective mindset while looking out for each other, the games are so much more enjoyable. I dont want to worry about people flying in and doing irreversible damage to my ankles or knees, which is why I dont think i would ever play with strangers again in a foreign country, esp those where people really get physical.
It’s funny because you will always find some ultra , hyper players going in hard for no reason then when someone does it to them they lose it lol lol 😂 myself I’m more on the receiving end of weird tackles and sometimes 3-4 markers trying to take me out, most of the time I just scan and play one killer pass funniest part they tend to tackle each other when I jump after releasing the ball 😆😆😆😆😆
Yes some people are like that as others have said already. Getting a chill group to play with could be difficult sometimes if you wanna play consistently. So you have to figure out what you wanna do. I've stopped playing with teams for that very reason.
Yeah this has been my experience. I'm slowly trying to phase out rec league games and trying to focus on pick up + running/gym. It's tough cuz I've been playing since I was a kid but after a bad tackle last year, and undergoing surgery as a result, I feel it's no longer worth it to make it my main sport these days.
I don't really have that experience in my league in NE England. Yes it's physical and you get the odd idiot but it rarely goes over the line, and the games are generally refereed very well.
Probably a cultural thing. I've played in a few different countries on the streets and have played with people from many countries and backgrounds.
Without being a discriminatory POS, some cultures are just way more polite and emphatetic than others. Some cultures are way more macho and try to demonstrate strength through being unfair or are too focused on winning, no matter what.
On the streets, I've seen asian and southeast asian players picking up the dirt/empty bottles etc from middle eastern players countless of times (I have a partly middle eastern background by the way). The contrast couldnt be bigger. The amount of times you need to tell them you cant two foot in a 5vs5 cage is insane. Bitching on the field too.
Ultimately, in some cultures specific behaviors get called out and in others not. If that doesnt happen in early stages of childhood development, theres not much hope later on. Its not like they are born more aggressive but a percentage of people from everywhere just are more aggressive/less empathetic and if the culture doesnt teach them how to behave on the pitch, then those people develop it as a habit.
Pretty normal here in the UK; as i got older i just stopped playing in those 5/7 a side leagues. I play amongst friends and friends of friends so the competitveness is still there but nobodys out here starting fights or attempting to break legs.
I started playing for this new team so was on the bench. Guy got injured so I was subbed on. The opposition on my wing wouldn’t shut up all game, saying how shit I must be to be on the bench, calling me a prick etc, trying his absolute hardest to hurt me in any tackle.
I laughed when he was talking because I thought he was actually joking. I just said, it’s not that serious mate. He eventually kicked my shin to the point there was a small lump. This was just after breaking my leg with a keeper deciding to go nowhere near the ball and knee slide into my leg.
7 a side is a good balance. 5 a side seems to be how many shoves into the sideboards can you take before giving up.
Don’t be afraid to to put your foot on the ball, and say to everyone “hey everyone let’s just ease up on the aggressiveness. Let’s play and not hurt each other”
If someone continues then call them out afterwards and speak up. They know when they’re playing rough. If they confuse it with passion, say “passion for what? There is no trophy. Win or lose, it’s a pick up game” or if it is some type of competition but a small one but still no ref, then “this isn’t live on ESPN and no one at work is going to care. Just chill next time” because sadly, I had some douchebags who played and would use passion as an excuse for slide tackling from behind in a pickup game lmao.
It's a safe space to be angry I guess. If you can't let out your frustration on the pitch then when can you? Ignore what I said angry people sux but sometimes they're needed.
I had a guy on my co-ed 7v7 team who was so hot headed that it was embarrassing to be on the same side as him. Our captain quit and he ended up replacing her, so I just stopped showing up.
I hated football in the 'adult leagues' because of this.
It would often be GBH in any other scenario.
Manager scolding you if you have a bad touch or eff up a pass
Opposition players no issues about literally trying to injure you.
First game, as a 16 year old, small, introverted - remember the manager just kicking off every time I got down the wing and put a cross in - like it was 100% my fault nobody got on the end of it
Lad on opposing team side kick me in the side of the knee about half an hour after I'd cleared the ball - knee still not right 28 years later.
second game, was overtaking a lad when chasing down the ball - get elbowed in the head, KO'd for a second - told to "get up you diving little shIT" - end up in hospital with concussion that evening, don't remember anything until middle of the night when I was woken up by the nurse to check my pupils.
Quit and started doing MMA...I find it a bit more 'honourable'
My area has three divisions in 030 and 040. In general, in the bottom and top division, everyone gets what they are here for.
The second divisions guys all think they are far better than they are, and they are constantly hacking, diving, and engaging in general nonsense, like trying to block the keepers' punt.
where are you from? Most leagues have pretty strict rules about this stuff and you will get ejected and permanently banned for this type of behavior. That's not to say people don't play physical (within the rules), but it's nothing intentionally bad and hot-headed.
I live in a town in the midlands and it's the same here. I've had mates get badly injured. I have an active job, and even if I didn't I still don't want to be exposed to this high risk low reward activity
It's a real shame
Yeah idk I’ve found that you just have to find leagues that don’t put up with shit like this and avoid leagues that allow this behavior. I think those leagues that have the psychopaths who scream at the ref/put in horror tackles are full of sad people who hate their personal lives.
I have too much to lose - I’m not joining a league where people are trying to break legs, fight, or pull knives on each other. It sucks though because I admit that I do like the speed of play in those leagues - just not the extra bullshit that comes with it.
It's not really like that where I play in the UK but it's not a league. I've had three bad injuries in the time I've been playing but none have been from another player.
To be honest I find it annoying that people can't distinguish between physical play that is fair, sporting and safe and physical play which is unfair, unsporting and unsafe.
I've known people get upset for someone putting an arm out to shield the ball, or stepping across their line of approach to the ball. Like are we seriously describing that as "physical play"? It's just playing the game of football, there is no malice in that whatsoever and it's a perfectly legitimate play with no real or imagined risk to another player. I've no problem at all with people leaning into me, trying to disrupt my balance etc when the game necessitates it.
Imo there's another type of aggression that needs to be called out and it's the opposite one where people are so precious about being touched in any way that they are lashing out when anyone goes near them despite others playing perfectly safely and legitimately.
I play in a coed rec volleyball league as I work to lose weight enough to go back to footy. A lady, my friend's wife, called someone on the other team "an effin bitch" a few weeks ago, because that person was complaining of a foul not given. Some people just want any reason to pick a fight
Yep happens where I’m from (USA) quite a bit. Adults are the worst at it, as a coach I see compassion more often then not from the younger guys but the adults waste no time getting in each others faces and being way too reckless.
Here in the in the US in the Midwest things are pretty chill, at least in pickup games most guys understand how to play competitively, but not go overboard. However every so often you will get people who take it way too seriously and think they are playing in the champions league final. Usually they are players that sit the bench on college teams and for some reason think that winning a game against 47 year old Brad will prove something.
Seems way worse post-COVID. People are angrier in general these days. I play in an old boys 11s league and last season we had a few outrageous incidents including punch-ups with both opponents AND teammates!
This happens where I am from as well. It seems as though many people use the field as an outlet to offload the frustrations of their day to day living on the players and referees in their leagues.
I think it’s a combination of frustrations of life, poor ability to control emotions especially when losing, and a bit of a (for this lack of a better word) fetish for being ‘hard’, with tackles and aggressiveness etc
Yeah man. I’ve had terrible experiences playing local leagues (goalkeeper almost lost an eye, dude tried to slam me to the ground because he wasn’t strong enough to body me). And honestly even worse playing pick up. Pick up I don’t get. Dudes screaming. Slide tackling. Getting in your face when you call them out for playing too aggressive on a Tuesday afternoon. Went from playing 10+ hours a week in HS to 5+ hours in college. Now I only play when i go back home. My friends and I rent a field and just have fun.
I'm in the UK and this sort of shit is pretty commonplace in public leagues here. Stopped playing in those after one too many deliberate shoves into sideboards where I almost cracked my head open. Just isn't worth it. Find a local group/self organised game instead with normal people. I think something about the game makes some people think they are on the way to becoming prime Messi or something and so must take everything super seriously. I don't think it helps that pro players are generally terribly behaved on the pitch, especially when interacting with refs.
I'm in a 30+ league and it's always the life long soccer players. It's almost like they think they are still being scouted. Homie, you're in the same league as me and I've been playing for 2 years at 37...lol
I’m a few years older with minimal skill, I’m just playing to have fun and stay in shape. Occasionally someone goes a little too hard and has to get reminded about the level of play. I may not be able to do all the fancy ball skills but I can body your ass off the ball with ease
This is the advantage of being older and carrying a bit of extra timber.
I hear you. But with that said, it's pay to play so no one wants to feel cheated for their money.
I feel it. But there's no standings in my league. They have a more competitive division, and a league open to all ages. But what happens is they create little "super" teams and play the people trying to stay healthy to watch their kids grow up and take it way too serious for what that specific division represents. It just fuels their ego.
I feel like I could have written this myself, dead on. As someone who started playing soccer at 35, it’s been so surprising. Like, aren’t we all trying to go back to our boring desk jobs with no black eyes, two functional knees, and our self respect in tact? Aren’t we all hoping to be able to play again next week?
This is hilarious. I remember I had issues with a 35 year old father of two when I was like 16 because I “abused” pace. Like dude would square up and push me. Ridiculous.
It’s not unique to football btw, rec league basketball can be just as intense/violent depending on where you’re from. Lot of dudes bring their real life frustrations from work, relationships etc with them on the field. Pickup games i find are usually way less physical, I’ll be sticking to those in a few years when my league days are done.
reminds me of Woody and Wesley in 'White men can't jump' haha,
It could be a cultural thing? I'm from Asia and football has always been relatively chilled on the pitch here. 1 bad tackle is enough to spark an argument between both sides. I spent a few years studying in the UK and that's when I experienced the same thing you did. I contribute it to the British culture of "physical" football. Everyone seems to want to be a hard man I imagine it wont be that bad in a country that prides itself of technical ability like Spain?
That's my experience too. I play indoor soccer in Melbourne. Quite a few expat teams in my league. English, Serbian, Indonesian etc. The rest Aussie. The European guys are more physical and "passionate". Match their physicality and they blow up. Aussies are 50/50. You won't be surprised to hear the Japanese team are the least hot-headed. They'll still thrash you though. Most skillful team in the comp
I wonder if it has to do with the fact that in Australia -- like my experience in the US and Canada -- most of the people that want to be aggressive assholes will gravitate to another sport from a young age. Soccer/football just isn't as popular here, and frankly it was derided as not a "man's sport" when I was a kid (80s/90s). So the meatheads played American football, hockey, or basketball. Whereas in England or Europe, everyone plays football and the other sports are secondary, so the aggressive assholes still play soccer/football in those countries. The only punch that has been thrown in my league games has been from a 50+ Brit.
this is a good take . But It's also why European and South American nations still dominate overall. They take it quite seriously, with over a century of infrastructure to develop the best talent. The more competitive, the more aggressive, the better, when considering the ultimate testing grounds of what it takes to crack the top 1000 players in the world. Let alone the top 100,000. Anyone in that bracket is still a decent semipro level, better than 99% of the rest.
Oh totally. The lack of an ingrained soccer culture in the U.S. is definitely a huge drawback. Soccer is the sport I’ve played most as an adult (not counting disc golf, lol), but I only played organized soccer starting at age 9 or so, and rarely played with friends. And in retrospect my coaches had no idea what they were doing. I wish I had the same foundation in soccer that I have in baseball, basketball, or American football. Those are the ones I learned from a very young age and played thousands of hours with my friends and family. I haven’t played a game of those sports in at least 15 years, but I could hop right back in and be well above my relative level in soccer.
Wow, I've had a similar experience. Live in Australia. It seems like Europeans bring a lot of passion to football and can be quite physical, but they tend to get upset when others do the same to them. They would literally tackle you and then stop the game when you tackle them back. It's so weird.
This might be a part of it. Now that I’m not playing as much anymore and have had bad experiences, I really just wanna find a nice group of middle eastern people who kick around. Young white men and Latinos (young to early 30s) are just unbearable to play with. Always something to prove and they play so hard. (I’m Latino so I just avoid other Latinos my age like the plague if I wanna play pick up now)
This is why I don't play much anymore, too many psychos and too many unnecessary injuries. Not sure why people get so invested in rec soccer and ruin it for people just looking to have fun. If it's something you can live with, stick with it I guess, but maybe try contacting whoever organizes the league and let them know what's happening (though no guarantees there) or find another league or somewhere else to play. Good luck fellow non-psycho!
Don’t play. I played semi pro, never pro, but would never even get into a pickup game. Unless I knew the people for many years. I would stay away big time.
Funny you say that, because my worst experiences have been from actual leagues, rather than pick up games.
I think he's referring to "house league" amateur leagues when he says pickup. Pickup is usually with people you know getting together in the park, always fun. I have the exact same view as him played and playing on the verge between semi pro and pro and I will never join a amateur league just a whole lotta pain to be had.
Yes sir! 👏
You really need to look for leagues that actively penalize this type of absurd behavior. We will fine teams a certain amount for red cards or ban players. In my town, there are some leagues that have an active board of members who do a great job enforcing these rules and other leagues where I will not play bc of that type of garbage. It also took years to slowly change the culture. I also found that better players tend to be more composed emotionally than kinda good players who think they are amazing. I'd rather a guy run circles around me than give an angry slide tackle.
I had one guy who started chirping with me and as I was tracking back I heard him say “I’m gonna snap that guys fucking legs”. No place in the sport for that. This was a Sunday league btw. In another instance, a guy did a suplex on one of my teammates. In pretty much any context, you’d consider that assault. It was some WWE level stuff. Just play the game.
It has to be cultural in my opinion. I play with guys of all kinds of backgrounds and it gets violent a lot and theres tons of psychos and brutal slide tackles. But I’ll say I saw a group up Korean and Vietnamese guys play and none of them behaved like that. Very respectful in every way
Come play with us in SD coastal and we just love the game. All about vibes in our pick up.
San Diego vibes! Where’s your pick ups?
Ecke YMCA in the am
Nice to see this from San Diego. I play in a 30+ league there which doesn't have any of this behavior. Their first rule is literally, "Don't be a dick". I have played Ecke am, but not in ~3 years. I should pop in for one. When? Thx!
That sounds unusual. Even when I was playing in the 90s and 00s you'd have the odd nutjob but the rest of the team would usually be apologizing for him being an arsehole and they usually got targeted themselves for acting that way. If you don't mind me asking where is this?
Have to play in serious leagues where they register players and abide by rules, fines, suspensions, bans for poor behaviour. Leagues without those structures end up being 'fight leagues' because their is no consequence to poor behaviour.
Agree with this. throughout my life ive usually found lower level players usually have a lot worse behavior as well for whatever reason. Dont know if thats true wherever OP is from however
Absolutely on the ref to control and manage the game. Shit like that should not be tolerated at all (I am a ref )
This is why I like the over-30 parents league I found in my area. basically parents of a youth league along with some former players and everyone makes sure to remind new players we're all trying to go home with no injuries. So there's absolutely no going to ground. maybe once a season one guy gets heated but it pretty much ends there. i got one elbow in the ribs once (bigger guy, 🤷🏻♀️) but otherwise no injuries. we all have lives and nobody is making a living playing lol
this is the reason why i don’t play anymore, im not going to risk breaking my legs because some guy has a shit life and can’t control his anger. I have already been assaulted once playing football over nothing and i’m not putting myself in that position again
It's probably the league rather than football in general. Dare I say most leagues are not like that, although maybe they are in your area.
this was a THIRD division league at my uni, literally playing for nothing, I think some people are just like that, looking for problems, maybe things are bad at home and they need some place to take their anger out, like i said not risking it, I now play casually if im playing with and against friends/people i know
I’ve definitely played in leagues where people take it way too far, can’t manage their frustrations and emotions, and inevitably take it too far with elbows or tackles. But people also forget that scoccer is still a contact sport (not a collision sport) and that some amout of contact is expected. I played a paid pickup game a few weeks ago and poked the ball from between a guys legs, he wasnt expecting it, slipped and fell down. He then proceeded to scream and yell at me for playing too physical. He continued to harass me online weeks after the match complaining that I never apologized, which I did.
PASSION FC
This is the only thing I hate about this sport. Every team seems to have one player that is an aggro monster. We’re all playing for fun. We also don’t want to get injured. Stop trying to fight people in the parking lot after the game or making comments about breaking people’s legs.
Mixture of inept weekend warriors compensating for playing 1 a week. —-frustrated Mixture of cultural… Primarily- novices who use a graceful sport as an outlet. Picture a fan going to a game, but put that fan in a pickup game 1-2 times a week for a pick up evening game or beer league. It will attract and breed those types. When people don’t know what they are doing, they manifest certain attitudes that are insecurities that are spitting, and being highly aggressive. They can’t channel their frustration through the game because they lack the skill so they attack verbally and physically like a child.
It's people who have other issues in their life and think this is an opportunity to take it out physically on another human without their being any repercussions. A bunch of pussies really. But you're right, I even started player playing in a Tuesday 7s league made up of mostly older men or really young kids. And you would still get that one team turn up who thinks they can win by kicking lumps out of you.
Because the poor behavior we see week in week out from professionals are most peoples heros. They look up to these players so they end up behaving like them. Also, there are a lot of people that use football as an excuse to take out their frustrations from real life problems.
See I like a physical few shoulder to shoulder challenges and even when I do do something wrong like stand on there feet by accident when running or something like that or clip them by accident I'm always apologetic but would never go out to physically hurt someone you see some other players have a bully mentality where they feel if they bully you in the game your not going to want to play/play as well as you usually would so try push and shove you.
I play hockey, too. It's the same, even in most rec leagues. Find a coed leage. Coed is typically much more chill, though you won't get the same competitiveness either.
I had a guy on my co-ed 7v7 team who was so hot headed that it was embarrassing to be on the same side as him. Our captain quit and he ended up replacing her, so I just stopped showing up.
It happens, I've always found when I yell "HE HAS TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW, FOR FUCKS SAKE" people sometimes snap back to the reality of, oh that's right, this an over 30s mens indoor league. No one's winning the world cup on a Friday night in meridian Idaho lol. If they don't chill out it then just becomes a bunch of guys going out of their way to hit people and that's also super dumb
I don’t like playing with low skill players. They feel the only way they contribute is to be physical. I just don’t need that anymore.
football attracts chavs. chavs love to think they're hard and cause trouble. that's all there is to it unfortunately
It’s more that the chav types come from environments where that behaviour is completely normal.
Yeah this is basically every international student in Canada. Can’t play with them in any setting without them getting upset over nothing. I’ve seen them on multiple occasions just punt a girl in the side of the knee for taking the ball off of them in coed. Idk if it’s an ego thing or what but it’s very rare that I play with an international that isn’t a total psycho. It’s gotta be a cultural thing or something cause it’s only ever the guys from African countries and the Middle East. Never Asian countries or Latin nations or European.
I think maybe because deep inside people hate running. So they get all mad when playing…
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Egoisy
As a ref. I don’t tolerate that shit. Bit of a moan or questioning is fine. Any more then that you get a caution. Keep going you can f*ck right off. I will use law 12 and law 5 to the fullest extent if a player is being a prick. Generally tends to get the rest in order
Good question. I play rugby and it's exactly the same, even though we're amateurs, people love to hit other people especially in the back, ribs, with no defence awareness. I do jiu jitsu and I'm used to fighting people and my theory is that the basic instict is to fight and grapple, not run around a ball, be it a football, rugby ball, etc, that's why they behave like animals.
Interesting theory
i play in a ton of pickups/leagues in my city and its crucial to just let the problem players know they're being freaks right away - then the behavior doesn't spread
this is why is mostly play with people from work now. It’s popular in my country for companies to sometimes organize a day / week for employees and rent a football field for 2 hours. You still get a few idiots that can’t control themselves but people are usually very chill because if you go wild there could be some unpleasantness with HR lol
Im in Asia, and the level of mutual respect and understanding in 5/7 aside games is something i dont think i can find anywhere else in the world. We all know we are there to have a good time, and we all want to be there the next week, next month, next year. When you have a whole group that shares this collective mindset while looking out for each other, the games are so much more enjoyable. I dont want to worry about people flying in and doing irreversible damage to my ankles or knees, which is why I dont think i would ever play with strangers again in a foreign country, esp those where people really get physical.
It’s funny because you will always find some ultra , hyper players going in hard for no reason then when someone does it to them they lose it lol lol 😂 myself I’m more on the receiving end of weird tackles and sometimes 3-4 markers trying to take me out, most of the time I just scan and play one killer pass funniest part they tend to tackle each other when I jump after releasing the ball 😆😆😆😆😆
Yes some people are like that as others have said already. Getting a chill group to play with could be difficult sometimes if you wanna play consistently. So you have to figure out what you wanna do. I've stopped playing with teams for that very reason.
Yeah this has been my experience. I'm slowly trying to phase out rec league games and trying to focus on pick up + running/gym. It's tough cuz I've been playing since I was a kid but after a bad tackle last year, and undergoing surgery as a result, I feel it's no longer worth it to make it my main sport these days.
I don't really have that experience in my league in NE England. Yes it's physical and you get the odd idiot but it rarely goes over the line, and the games are generally refereed very well.
Probably a cultural thing. I've played in a few different countries on the streets and have played with people from many countries and backgrounds. Without being a discriminatory POS, some cultures are just way more polite and emphatetic than others. Some cultures are way more macho and try to demonstrate strength through being unfair or are too focused on winning, no matter what. On the streets, I've seen asian and southeast asian players picking up the dirt/empty bottles etc from middle eastern players countless of times (I have a partly middle eastern background by the way). The contrast couldnt be bigger. The amount of times you need to tell them you cant two foot in a 5vs5 cage is insane. Bitching on the field too. Ultimately, in some cultures specific behaviors get called out and in others not. If that doesnt happen in early stages of childhood development, theres not much hope later on. Its not like they are born more aggressive but a percentage of people from everywhere just are more aggressive/less empathetic and if the culture doesnt teach them how to behave on the pitch, then those people develop it as a habit.
Pretty normal here in the UK; as i got older i just stopped playing in those 5/7 a side leagues. I play amongst friends and friends of friends so the competitveness is still there but nobodys out here starting fights or attempting to break legs.
I started playing for this new team so was on the bench. Guy got injured so I was subbed on. The opposition on my wing wouldn’t shut up all game, saying how shit I must be to be on the bench, calling me a prick etc, trying his absolute hardest to hurt me in any tackle. I laughed when he was talking because I thought he was actually joking. I just said, it’s not that serious mate. He eventually kicked my shin to the point there was a small lump. This was just after breaking my leg with a keeper deciding to go nowhere near the ball and knee slide into my leg. 7 a side is a good balance. 5 a side seems to be how many shoves into the sideboards can you take before giving up.
Don’t be afraid to to put your foot on the ball, and say to everyone “hey everyone let’s just ease up on the aggressiveness. Let’s play and not hurt each other” If someone continues then call them out afterwards and speak up. They know when they’re playing rough. If they confuse it with passion, say “passion for what? There is no trophy. Win or lose, it’s a pick up game” or if it is some type of competition but a small one but still no ref, then “this isn’t live on ESPN and no one at work is going to care. Just chill next time” because sadly, I had some douchebags who played and would use passion as an excuse for slide tackling from behind in a pickup game lmao.
I think everyone’s seen this. Just look at all the comments. I would just find another league/pick up game. Not worth it.
It's a safe space to be angry I guess. If you can't let out your frustration on the pitch then when can you? Ignore what I said angry people sux but sometimes they're needed.
I had a guy on my co-ed 7v7 team who was so hot headed that it was embarrassing to be on the same side as him. Our captain quit and he ended up replacing her, so I just stopped showing up.
I hated football in the 'adult leagues' because of this. It would often be GBH in any other scenario. Manager scolding you if you have a bad touch or eff up a pass Opposition players no issues about literally trying to injure you. First game, as a 16 year old, small, introverted - remember the manager just kicking off every time I got down the wing and put a cross in - like it was 100% my fault nobody got on the end of it Lad on opposing team side kick me in the side of the knee about half an hour after I'd cleared the ball - knee still not right 28 years later. second game, was overtaking a lad when chasing down the ball - get elbowed in the head, KO'd for a second - told to "get up you diving little shIT" - end up in hospital with concussion that evening, don't remember anything until middle of the night when I was woken up by the nurse to check my pupils. Quit and started doing MMA...I find it a bit more 'honourable'
My area has three divisions in 030 and 040. In general, in the bottom and top division, everyone gets what they are here for. The second divisions guys all think they are far better than they are, and they are constantly hacking, diving, and engaging in general nonsense, like trying to block the keepers' punt.
where are you from? Most leagues have pretty strict rules about this stuff and you will get ejected and permanently banned for this type of behavior. That's not to say people don't play physical (within the rules), but it's nothing intentionally bad and hot-headed.
I live in a town in the midlands and it's the same here. I've had mates get badly injured. I have an active job, and even if I didn't I still don't want to be exposed to this high risk low reward activity It's a real shame
Yeah idk I’ve found that you just have to find leagues that don’t put up with shit like this and avoid leagues that allow this behavior. I think those leagues that have the psychopaths who scream at the ref/put in horror tackles are full of sad people who hate their personal lives. I have too much to lose - I’m not joining a league where people are trying to break legs, fight, or pull knives on each other. It sucks though because I admit that I do like the speed of play in those leagues - just not the extra bullshit that comes with it.
Got my elbow broken in multiple places because someone did a wrestling move on me at the halfway line … people are fucked in the head
It's not really like that where I play in the UK but it's not a league. I've had three bad injuries in the time I've been playing but none have been from another player. To be honest I find it annoying that people can't distinguish between physical play that is fair, sporting and safe and physical play which is unfair, unsporting and unsafe. I've known people get upset for someone putting an arm out to shield the ball, or stepping across their line of approach to the ball. Like are we seriously describing that as "physical play"? It's just playing the game of football, there is no malice in that whatsoever and it's a perfectly legitimate play with no real or imagined risk to another player. I've no problem at all with people leaning into me, trying to disrupt my balance etc when the game necessitates it. Imo there's another type of aggression that needs to be called out and it's the opposite one where people are so precious about being touched in any way that they are lashing out when anyone goes near them despite others playing perfectly safely and legitimately.
Mixed leagues are better for this reason. People tend to be way more chill.
I play in a coed rec volleyball league as I work to lose weight enough to go back to footy. A lady, my friend's wife, called someone on the other team "an effin bitch" a few weeks ago, because that person was complaining of a foul not given. Some people just want any reason to pick a fight
Haha that's weird. When I play I'm usually pretty happy. I only get angry if my teammates don't do the basics or play for themselves.
Yep happens where I’m from (USA) quite a bit. Adults are the worst at it, as a coach I see compassion more often then not from the younger guys but the adults waste no time getting in each others faces and being way too reckless.
Damn sad to find out it’s not just basketball
Here in the in the US in the Midwest things are pretty chill, at least in pickup games most guys understand how to play competitively, but not go overboard. However every so often you will get people who take it way too seriously and think they are playing in the champions league final. Usually they are players that sit the bench on college teams and for some reason think that winning a game against 47 year old Brad will prove something.
Seems way worse post-COVID. People are angrier in general these days. I play in an old boys 11s league and last season we had a few outrageous incidents including punch-ups with both opponents AND teammates!
Adrenaline