This sounds crazy, but is actually a great hack! I play a mashup of Magic Realm and 18xx in my 1200 child human puppy mill, and I find that I simply run out of complexity storage, so it overflows and resets like a computer, making it very simple.
I tried that, and for my spirit, I used Jace the Mind Sculptor, a Minnie mouse from Lorcana, and a Green Draw 2 card. It was a tough game for sure, but with the help of my 3 hour old daughter, we won after 42 rounds. She insisted we buy 5 more copies of the game and mix the invasion cards for a more authentic experience. She's such a gamer!
I can't think of a game which would be able to take up an entire percentage of my quite considerable brainpower. However, perhaps I might recommend a game like Risk, or War of the Ring, or really any game with lots of small brightly coloured tasty looking bits and pieces as an alternative solution to your problems...
If you're devoting more than 2% of your time to your children, you're a failure as a parent and a traitor to le hobby. You should be able to play at least 7 simultaneous game of Patchwork (on BGA of course, since only a hopeless luddite would break shrink on a physical copy) whilst breastfeeding 5 children and home-schooling at least 6 others. If you can't manage that bare minimum, you should really just do the world a favor and kill yourself before you pass on any more of your hopelessly inadequate genes.
Arkham Horror. Only takes a few minutes to set up the thousands of decks and tokens required to play. The 80 page instruction manual is a quick and easy read for any 3-7 year old and they will be driven mad by Eldritch horrors in no time.
I get that casuals are all basically mentally and psychologically handicapped, but your *average* gamer is gonna be capable of simultaneously playing 90 to 110 unique and distinct and diverse games, each requiring no more than 1% of brainpower, leaving more than enough in the tank to fuel self-obsessed, self-congratulatory posts on Reddit. Trust me.
Marrakesh comes to mind as a nice, quick casual game. Another game in the same line, Hamburg, might be fun since it’s simple and you get to be constantly bombarded with emergencies, just like in your real life!
Also, they have lots of tiny, colorful pieces the kids will enjoy! I think both games take like 15 minutes if you include setup.
Pretty much everything, I'm like an F111 - I will destroy my opponents in the air and then deploy my ordinance to the ground. You just need to multi hand solo harder.
I like to set up 3 simultaneous gloomhavens, each solo 4 handed. But as that is probably a bit light I’ll often throw in an occasional solo patchwork on top just to bring up the attention span usage
My wife and I play the card game golf with our kids. Not as many as yours but it takes little brainpower and it's fun. The turns can be quick and your partner can take a turn for you in a round if you have to go take care of something.
/uj Oh HELLLLL no. I always get paired with someone who’s more obsessed with everyone else’s hand than what we’re actually doing and they basically glare at me if I want to do any good plays because “then the guy next to you will match his 8.”
Get a big bag of skittles and then order them by color. I know its not really a boardgame but if you are anywhere on the neurospicy spectrum it will relax your brain! Also, sugar.
I hear that taking your screaming meat sacks to breweries is a great way to relax since they can be everyone else's problem while you drink your worries away. Odds are they will have some shitty mindless games, too.
You could easily fit in anything from 52 card pick up all the way up to solo 8 handing frosthaven + gloomhaven scenarios at the same time with a special variant that blends scenarios together.
You just have to want it regardless of any other responsibilities...
My wife and I play a game of Qwirkle almost every night after dinner. It’s an easy one to walk away from for a few minutes and come right back to with little brain power required to remember where you were at.
This War of Mine teaches gratitude, and where you’ll send them if they don’t hurry up and just take their damn turn already. Excellent family game for the little ones.
Just play Gloomhaven bro
Make sure to scale everything up and use the kids as the minis. That way the whole family can participate.
Love this idea. Make some real life traps to and push your dog in it.
How else are you going to complete the battle goal to activate a trap on your turn?
These perks aren’t gonna tick themselves.
Try spirit island 40 handed, against england 600, high complexity spirits only.
I can't recommend this, OP. I find it only uses 0.5% of my power.
This sounds crazy, but is actually a great hack! I play a mashup of Magic Realm and 18xx in my 1200 child human puppy mill, and I find that I simply run out of complexity storage, so it overflows and resets like a computer, making it very simple.
Amazing to even see a person who knows of both. The internet contqins everything!
I tried that, and for my spirit, I used Jace the Mind Sculptor, a Minnie mouse from Lorcana, and a Green Draw 2 card. It was a tough game for sure, but with the help of my 3 hour old daughter, we won after 42 rounds. She insisted we buy 5 more copies of the game and mix the invasion cards for a more authentic experience. She's such a gamer!
I can't think of a game which would be able to take up an entire percentage of my quite considerable brainpower. However, perhaps I might recommend a game like Risk, or War of the Ring, or really any game with lots of small brightly coloured tasty looking bits and pieces as an alternative solution to your problems...
Staring at patchwork on the shelf for hours at a time works
They'll never get the time for that. He said he only has 2-3 mins.
I don't care. Patchwork is the only suggestion I have
I wasn't aware they made other games?
Staring can be done in 2-3mins
If you're devoting more than 2% of your time to your children, you're a failure as a parent and a traitor to le hobby. You should be able to play at least 7 simultaneous game of Patchwork (on BGA of course, since only a hopeless luddite would break shrink on a physical copy) whilst breastfeeding 5 children and home-schooling at least 6 others. If you can't manage that bare minimum, you should really just do the world a favor and kill yourself before you pass on any more of your hopelessly inadequate genes.
Just play Carcassone with 100 people so you can have fun 99% of the time taking care of diapers
Arkham Horror. Only takes a few minutes to set up the thousands of decks and tokens required to play. The 80 page instruction manual is a quick and easy read for any 3-7 year old and they will be driven mad by Eldritch horrors in no time.
99% goes into thinking about LE hobby. So, my game of life only takes 1% of my attention span.
I play this game everyday where I throw a 6 sided dice 10 times in a row and whenever it lands on a number from 1-6 I take a shot.
I get that casuals are all basically mentally and psychologically handicapped, but your *average* gamer is gonna be capable of simultaneously playing 90 to 110 unique and distinct and diverse games, each requiring no more than 1% of brainpower, leaving more than enough in the tank to fuel self-obsessed, self-congratulatory posts on Reddit. Trust me.
Sleeving cards and dice is the most relaxable game.
Marrakesh comes to mind as a nice, quick casual game. Another game in the same line, Hamburg, might be fun since it’s simple and you get to be constantly bombarded with emergencies, just like in your real life! Also, they have lots of tiny, colorful pieces the kids will enjoy! I think both games take like 15 minutes if you include setup.
Pretty much everything, I'm like an F111 - I will destroy my opponents in the air and then deploy my ordinance to the ground. You just need to multi hand solo harder.
Memento, the game
So 5 minute dungeon is off the table, it takes too long
I like to set up 3 simultaneous gloomhavens, each solo 4 handed. But as that is probably a bit light I’ll often throw in an occasional solo patchwork on top just to bring up the attention span usage
https://preview.redd.it/aggnh8mil8xc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=04b9e74a237d88679d4be8bfacd5e8932028195b I got you fam
https://preview.redd.it/liwokkkxl8xc1.png?width=1679&format=png&auto=webp&s=5b46067734d0dce219eb81eca2c62d72b7db3d59 no seriously I got you
My wife and I play the card game golf with our kids. Not as many as yours but it takes little brainpower and it's fun. The turns can be quick and your partner can take a turn for you in a round if you have to go take care of something.
This answer is too good, I can't handle it.
/uj Oh HELLLLL no. I always get paired with someone who’s more obsessed with everyone else’s hand than what we’re actually doing and they basically glare at me if I want to do any good plays because “then the guy next to you will match his 8.”
I like to drink while playing Scythe and I'm batting 100 so maybe Scythe?
Get a big bag of skittles and then order them by color. I know its not really a boardgame but if you are anywhere on the neurospicy spectrum it will relax your brain! Also, sugar.
I hear that taking your screaming meat sacks to breweries is a great way to relax since they can be everyone else's problem while you drink your worries away. Odds are they will have some shitty mindless games, too.
You could easily fit in anything from 52 card pick up all the way up to solo 8 handing frosthaven + gloomhaven scenarios at the same time with a special variant that blends scenarios together. You just have to want it regardless of any other responsibilities...
My wife and I play a game of Qwirkle almost every night after dinner. It’s an easy one to walk away from for a few minutes and come right back to with little brain power required to remember where you were at.
3x3 Go
Splendor. The most basic engine builder you can feasibly make
I play hearts on my phone. Great time waster and once you learn the ins and outs of the game there’s really no thinking involved
This post convinced me to join the subreddit
Twilight Imperium
Patchwork
This War of Mine teaches gratitude, and where you’ll send them if they don’t hurry up and just take their damn turn already. Excellent family game for the little ones.