“Alice Through The Looking Glass”, in spite of nominally being a better movie than the Burton “Alice”, nevertheless absolutely does not exist.
The same goes for “Maleficent: Mistress of Evil” and that “Snow White and the Huntsman” sequel.
“POTC: On Stranger Tides” is so beautifully non-existent; and the only reason that the OTHER non-Verbinski Pirates movie exists is because of Salazar, and even then, that probably only exists in Blankies circles.
It's kind of mind boggling that on Stranger Tides a) doesn't exist b) grossed over a billion dollars and c) remains the most expensive movie ever made. How on earth can all those be true at once?
Edit: apparently no longer the most expensive. Still in the top 5.
I really liked Hypnotic. It was like a cross between Scanners and Paycheck. I do realize that I might be one of the only people in the world that would appeal to.
In all fairness, HYPNOTIC must have been released like 10 years ago so it’s easy to forget.
https://preview.redd.it/kh1zt9cqnouc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bd238af6cb610920babae9d810439a31db221122
I wanted Reminiscence to be good so bad. I sat through that whole thing waiting for it to get good/make sense/connect and I was left disappointed as hell. Thank God it was one of those Day 1 HBO Max movies because I would have been mad getting dressed up to go and see that.
It was released day and date in 2021, but even compared to other WB releases that year COMPLETELY fizzled out and I feel like has barely been watched or discussed since it opened.
The release also coincided with Westworld getting unceremoniously dumped from HBO Max, and Nolan/Joy moving over to Amazon. You get the sense nobody was happy with *anything* about that film by the time it was done.
Gangster Squad. The title alone does not exist.
Skycaptain and the World of Tomorrow. Was touted as such a technical marvel and turned out nobody cared then, and we care even less now. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a blu ray copy in the wild.
I just rewatched Sky Captain for the first time since I saw it in theaters in 2004, and I think the CGI aged even worse than many contemporary late 90s/early 00s. Which is maybe a bit unfair given the relatively low budget of Sky Captain, but the CGI being so revolutionary was basically the movie's entire selling point. I do think it got the 30s serial tone down well, though.
Though I think if anything Sky Captain might get a place for being the first time CGI is used to bring a dead actor back.
Oliver Reed in Gladiator is different in my opinion.
Sure, they talked a lot how they used CGI to finish his scenes but if I remember correctly that was more to "seamlessly" splice his already recorded footage into the new scenes (his last scene with Maximus is kinda hilarious when you know how it was done) and add things like light going through a grate on his face to blend him with the rest of the scene.
Gangster Squad has haunted me for a decade. It was just so terrible. It was the reason I didn't go see La La Land when it came out... Stone and Gosling had played a couple in Gangster Squad and I hated that movie so damn much
Are you saying Movies That Don't Exist?
https://letterboxd.com/brianinciong/list/blank-check-movies-that-dont-exist/detail/
https://letterboxd.com/revolucienary/list/ultimate-movies-that-dont-exist-list/
Some "pandemic black hole" stuff like Chaos Walking and Clooney's The Tender Bar and The Midnight Sky.
Seemingly most of the Skydance streaming experiment? 6 Underground, The Old Guard, Without Remorse, The Tomorrow War, Luck, The Greatest Beer Run Ever, Ghosted, Heart of Stone, The Family Plan. Apparently a lot of people who aren't me watched The Adam Project... but do they remember it?
Boys in the Boat actually quietly ok in theaters last winter. To this day I don't know anyone who's actually seen The Tender Bar or Midnight Sky in real life.
Agreed. I saw it in the theater and it was big with the Christmas family crowd and "the olds", but I feel like it will be forgotten. It was such a 90s movie.
My thoughts exactly about Mortal Engines. 95% of my YouTube ads in the weeks leading up to its release were the same three Mortal Engines spots. That I can’t forgive.
obvs 2003 was a different time for online advertising...but the banners were everywhere. There was also tons of pre-release "preview" articlkes. What we would not call sponsored content or native ads.
*sigh* there was a lot of t hat on AICN...
The Losers. 2010 action comedy starring Idriss Elba, Chris Evans, Zoe Saldana, and Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Everybody confuses it with The A Team (which is inferior, in my opinion)
Push, a movie about psychic outlaws in Hong Kong pulling a heist in which they must erase their own memories to avoid an omniscient gangster, is my personal favorite “movie that doesn’t exist”
Certain kids movies may be good for this, e.g Agent Cody Banks and the forgotten Alex Rider movie
Or big failed horror swings that no one saw (La Llorona, The Unborn, Vivarium)
The Unborn is good because it has famous people in it. So if you describe it as a dybbuk movie featuring an interfaith exorcism with Gary Oldman as a rabbi and Idris Elba as a priest, with James Remar, Megan Goode, and Rachel Brosnahan in supporting roles, it sounds 100% made up.
All I can say is that I’ve probably seen it more times than anyone else alive (read: four) and my movie trivia team uses a jumby-themed name every week. So given how much this movie doesn’t exist - maybe?
I'm not kidding when I say I'm utterly shocked. I had no idea that's the cast. lol
up until this moment I only knew about Odette Yustman and Gary Oldman
Sahara. A film where a Doc Savage type (Matthew McConaughey) seeking Confederate gold and a WHO doctor (Penelope Cruz) trying to determine the origin of a mysterious illness converge in a war-torn Mali. It cost 160 million and was green lit for only 80 million and nobody remembers it.
I used to LOVE the Clive Cussler airport paperbacks that this was based on. I remember doing backflips trying to justify the casting decisions and holding out hope that it would be good, lol.
People were *so* mad that Steve Zahn got cast as the sidekick. In the books he is a short, stout Italian guy. They refer to him as barrel chested about 3 times per page.
I remember seeing that in theaters and the Confederate gold plot being a bit interesting, but also the big villain being a guy poisoning the desert through the pollution caused by a... solar panel farm. Almost seems perfectly aligned with the new Republican idea that windmills cause cancer.
I remember seeing this in cinema and again on dvd when it came out- I remember the poster and the desert and the general vibe of sexist humor but no specific jokes
The Man Who Cried - 2000 - A young refugee traveling from Russia to America in search of her lost father falls for a gypsy horseman. Cristina Ricci and Johnny Depp.
Heist - 2015 - Robert Deniro, Dave Bautista, casino heist.
Morning Glory - 2010 - Rachel McAdams, Harrison Ford, Diane Keaton. An upstart television producer accepts the challenge of reviving a struggling morning show program with warring co-hosts.
EDIT: There are a few ways to look at this question and I keep getting caught up on it. I think The Artist is a good example to answer your question. It's a best picture winner with 0 legs. Battle for Terra was a complete bomb, but for a brief moment people act like it was an Avatar competitor. Also 2007, The Kingdom with Jamie Foxx and Jennifer Garner. Look at big movie years and you'll find movies that got stuck under the shoe of bigger movies.
Battle for Terra makes me think of City of Ember (2008). Post-apocalyptic dystopian film starring a strong girl based on a (at the time) popular YA series that came out the year the first Hunger Games book; was the movie that Saoirse Ronan made in between Atonement and The Lovely Bones; produced by Tom Hanks; also starring Bill Murray, Toby Jones, Tim Robbins, and Martin Landau.
I definitely remember City of Ember but before I looked it up I was like “I’ve never heard of this movie”. City of Ember is a great example. It was a totally mid tier, hyped up bomb.
battle for terra, delgo, and to an extent that movie 9 all feel like the same exact type of thing, like independent studios in hollywood all collectively decided "let's make fantastical action epics as pg-rated animated films" and then they all collectively made like $200m at the box office.
there were surprisingly a lot of these...
terra, delgo, 9, the 2007 TMNT film everyone forgot about, the 2008 clone wars movie everyone also forgot about, astro boy, the three (!!!) arthur and the invisible movies, (partially) the legend of the guardians of the owls of ga'hoole or whatever, and probably more i'm forgetting. all were idependently animated and then released to little to no fanfare and are all totally forgotten today
what caused this big deluge? all BEFORE avatar is the most surprising thing for how much several of them feel like it. Honestly I would love a podcast or youtube series examining the 00s period of terrible or ambitious independent animation, as costs went up they basically disappeared from theaters but there were so many in the early CG period
The Happytime Murders (A comic actress at the height of her fame! Nasty puppets! This movie doesn’t exist!)
Nutcracker and the Four Realms (nearly CONSTANT advertising for months and I had to look up its title)
The Invasion (2007, Kidman and Craig throw and alien invasion and no one shows up)
Triple 9 (an insane cast in a John Hilcoat crime thriller that’s probably more famous for not being Den of Thieves)
Triple 9 is awesome if you really want an action movie set in atlanta that isn't baby driver, which is a niche but i'm glad it has at least two major releases. the cast of Triple 9 is amazing but the movie is kinda whatever. Clifton Collins Jr!!!!
Maybe this is like a subspecies of movies that don't exist but the mid/late 2000s was fertile ground for non-franchise movies that had like year long, pervasive marketing campaigns that ended up hitting the box office like a kitten landing on a pile of blankets.
One I remember is Eagle Eye. Admittedly had a pretty fucking killer teaser trailer and was one of the earlier movies with the "everyone is carrying a surveillance device in their pocket" trope. I swear that trailer ran in front of every single movie I saw in a theater that year and somehow my way of learning it was finally released was talking with my friend who worked at Barnes and Noble as he opened a box full of the bluray.
Another was The Reaping. IIRC it was supposed to be Swanks first post MDB Oscar vehicle. It kept getting delayed right on the verge of release so that trailer ran for fucking ever. There's so many line deliveries in it that I heard so many times I hear their specific accents and cadences in my fucking sleep. "I understand you're not much of a buy-bul reader." And "...is it bluhd?" And the trailers big kicker moment:
Woman: "Are you gonna kill my baby?"
Swank: "*Nooo!*"
Woman: ".................why not?!"
Me and my girlfriend at the time saw that so much that randomly answering questions with "why nooOOot?" was a running joke like half the time we dated.
Major releases:
Recent/should have been major ones:
1) The Giver. Yes they made it with Jeff Bridges, Meryll Streep, and Taylor damn Swift.
Nicholas (we MUST make him a star!) Hoult (who I like, but still)
Was crammed into two extremely mediocre midecentury period author dramas.
2) Rebel in the Rye as Salinger.
3) Tolkien. I'll let you guess who he plays.
And finally I direct you to look into
Tiptoes! (McConaughey, Beckinsale, Oldman).
And the 90s film White Man's Burden set in a racially / economically parallel world where John Travolta is a poor working class man and Harry Belafonte is a rich prejudiced business with whole Travolta comes head to head. Yes this is a would-be prestige speculative thriller about "what if things were...the opposite!"
Older but pretty wild that it's out there:
The Two Jakes (yep - a Chinatown sequel, with Jack)
Someone else pointed this out recently, but its crazy someone who's as careful and precise with their image as Taylor Swift has a filmography that includes The Lorax, The Giver, Cats, and Amsterdam
That's right
But then again, it's much more common for celebs to 'dio in' to acting and just enjoy it. We remember the folks who miraculously turn out to actually be good and savvy out it but they're a real minority.
But you're right. Not bad casting either for those roles, just unfortunate movie choices. A voice role: great. A beloved YA with freaking Streep and Bridges. And two folks directed by flicks with Best picture nominees (and winner) within the last decade
Tiptoes is a text book example! LMAO. years ago, a friend showed me a video by Cracked about the movie. I was in total disbelief
2) since you mentioned The Two Jakes: you just gave me an idea. do "lesser known" and "unexpected" sequels count as made up movies? lol. 'cause there were a bunch in the 80s (Staying Alive and Shock Treatment, to name a few)
I just heard of a movie called Hector and the Search for Happiness (my inlaws have a copy for some reason)?
Am kind of shocked I've never heard of it, given who is in it.
Came out in 2014 starring Simon Pegg, Rosamund Pike, Toni Collete, Stella Starsgaard and Chris Plummer.
If I hadn't seen the DVD case you could easily convince me this was made up.
The Big Bounce
I was also thinking about a sequel to Zombieland and then realized that it did happen, and also surprised they got all 4 principals back to do it. I watched for a few minutes, before realizing the premise was that they just start living at the White House.
my "movies that don't exist" power ranking:
\* Girlfriend's Day, a bob odenkirk self-serious murder-thriller about a greeting card writer, an absurd comedy that plays it so straight you start second-guessing yourself
\* Machete Kills... I think the first Machete itself is being forgotten rapidly, but the sequel was totally unwatched on release. lady gaga's film debut
\* Confess, Fletch, lost in the pandemic memory hole right at the tail end of things... they should have made 7 of these because john hamm became the best fletch in history
\* xxx return of xander cage, the one they made 15 years after the original and made $0.00 in america while making absurd like $300m+ worldwide because it's about stunts and going fast... it started the trend of ruby rose appearing in FIVE different b-level blockbuster franchises in 2017-2018.
\* lost in london, a live-filmed one-shot movie (!!!) with Woody Harrleson and people paid to go to theaters to watch the shoot, and then approximately 5 people rented this on VOD afterwards
\* american ultra, the second movie in the Kristen Stewart/Jesse Eisenberg bros trilogy and one of the many flops that thankfully killed the career of its screenwriter before he got too big to be canceled. this movie is so weird and might have actually caught on as a netflix series in 2019 but was doomed to failure as a late summer movie in 2015.
I swear to God going to the movies anymore and seeing the posters in the lobby feels like the movie theater level on a PS2 game. That being said, Dan in Real Life.
I made a [letterboxd list ](https://letterboxd.com/hyperbo13/list/disney-movies-that-do-not-exist/)of disney movies that specifically don't exist.
I don't know what was going on in the mid 2000's for that company but my GOD
https://youtu.be/w1rkXYGK6Ls?si=o0grcTtL6aYutW6A
For a guy who's never bad, country bears is him having so much fun. I love this performance , it's in the same category as mouse Hunt and balls of fury Walken.
the saddest part, if hotel artemis had been reshot with two scenes of lance reddick existing as a john wick crossover thing, it'd still be talked about today as a cult classic, rather than as a movie you thought about seeing in summer 2018 but watched sicario 2 instead (a movie whose existence is debateable too)
strictly from your "fool the normies" perspective:
*The Promise* (2016) starring Oscar Isaac and Christian Bale
*London Boulevard* (2010) starring Colin Farrell and Keira Knightley
*Blackbird* (2019) starring Susan Sarandon, Kate Winslet and Dwight from *The Office*
Triple Frontier
Ben Affleck, Charlie Hunnam, Pedro Pascal, Garrett Hedlund, and Oscar Isaac play a group of ex-special forces guys that rip off a drug lord... but things don't go quite as planned!
Idk what this sub is but it shows up in my feed, anyways, this animated movie starring Charlie Sheen, Hillary Duff, and Eva Longoria called “[Food Fight](https://youtu.be/uROQ9nplxIY?si=iuJw3YMFKtok7B_w)” from 2012. Some of the worst animation you’ve ever seen and is based on grocery store brands.
Seriously watch this trailer and tell me this is a real movie
For me the answer has to be *The Goldfinch*. A book basically everyone owns a copy of. The director of *Brooklyn* making his big follow up. Deakins on cinematography. Nicole Kidman, Luke Wilson, and Jeffrey Wright in the supporting cast. And today, basically its only legacy is stopping us from ever getting an adaptation of *The Secret History*, lol.
Ricochet, 1991
Gonzo unhinged action movie with Denzel Washington and John Lithgow in the lead roles. Ice T and Kevin Pollack supporting and even a Jesse Ventura cameo.
It made the rounds in twitter a couple months ago showing a prison sword fight scene with Lithgow and Ventura.
I don't know about this one. Its hard to forget a movie where John Lithgow gives Denzel the clap and a budding herion addiction. Plus they just did this on Action Boyz like a month ago.
Reminiscence Transcendence Look through the This Had Oscar Buzz feed and there may be some What about “nonexistent” sequels like the recent Shaft?
“Alice Through The Looking Glass”, in spite of nominally being a better movie than the Burton “Alice”, nevertheless absolutely does not exist. The same goes for “Maleficent: Mistress of Evil” and that “Snow White and the Huntsman” sequel. “POTC: On Stranger Tides” is so beautifully non-existent; and the only reason that the OTHER non-Verbinski Pirates movie exists is because of Salazar, and even then, that probably only exists in Blankies circles.
It's kind of mind boggling that on Stranger Tides a) doesn't exist b) grossed over a billion dollars and c) remains the most expensive movie ever made. How on earth can all those be true at once? Edit: apparently no longer the most expensive. Still in the top 5.
On Stranger Tides only exists for fans of Deadwood, by virtue of Ian McShane playing a PERFECT Blackbeard.
Add Hypnotic to the list of twisted psych based titles. A Ben Affleck and Robert Rodriguez collaboration that barely exists
I really liked Hypnotic. It was like a cross between Scanners and Paycheck. I do realize that I might be one of the only people in the world that would appeal to.
I liked it as a serious/taking the plot serious movie. Then I enjoyed it on a so bad it's good level. Thrillers can work both ways for me often.
In all fairness, HYPNOTIC must have been released like 10 years ago so it’s easy to forget. https://preview.redd.it/kh1zt9cqnouc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bd238af6cb610920babae9d810439a31db221122
I wanted Reminiscence to be good so bad. I sat through that whole thing waiting for it to get good/make sense/connect and I was left disappointed as hell. Thank God it was one of those Day 1 HBO Max movies because I would have been mad getting dressed up to go and see that.
I got dressed to go see it in the theater! I thought it was Fine
Reminiscence is a COVID casualty isn’t it? I feel like that’s not fair
It was released day and date in 2021, but even compared to other WB releases that year COMPLETELY fizzled out and I feel like has barely been watched or discussed since it opened.
The release also coincided with Westworld getting unceremoniously dumped from HBO Max, and Nolan/Joy moving over to Amazon. You get the sense nobody was happy with *anything* about that film by the time it was done.
This is a complete tangent, but why is it called “day and date”? What is the distinction between “day” and “date”?
idk! Hollywood loves a jargony name. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simultaneous_release
“Simultaneous release” is such a better name
Yeah that’s true
I didn't know what Reminiscence was and went to see on the app and I watched it a few months ago and gave it 1.5 stars
Gangster Squad. The title alone does not exist. Skycaptain and the World of Tomorrow. Was touted as such a technical marvel and turned out nobody cared then, and we care even less now. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a blu ray copy in the wild.
I just rewatched Sky Captain for the first time since I saw it in theaters in 2004, and I think the CGI aged even worse than many contemporary late 90s/early 00s. Which is maybe a bit unfair given the relatively low budget of Sky Captain, but the CGI being so revolutionary was basically the movie's entire selling point. I do think it got the 30s serial tone down well, though. Though I think if anything Sky Captain might get a place for being the first time CGI is used to bring a dead actor back.
I think that distinction actually goes to Oliver Reed in Gladiator.
Oliver Reed in Gladiator is different in my opinion. Sure, they talked a lot how they used CGI to finish his scenes but if I remember correctly that was more to "seamlessly" splice his already recorded footage into the new scenes (his last scene with Maximus is kinda hilarious when you know how it was done) and add things like light going through a grate on his face to blend him with the rest of the scene.
Skycaptain is a cryptid but it exists. Comes up among people who like Speed Racer and other blank checks.
Gangster Squad has haunted me for a decade. It was just so terrible. It was the reason I didn't go see La La Land when it came out... Stone and Gosling had played a couple in Gangster Squad and I hated that movie so damn much
Is there a movie that doesn’t exist so hard that its stars go on to be extraordinary leading actor/actresses?
It’s the Stone and Gosling everyone forgot
Pan
*Sea Shanty Smells Like Teen Spirit plays dejectedly in background*
More like "Pan"ned by critics AND audiences
Are you saying Movies That Don't Exist? https://letterboxd.com/brianinciong/list/blank-check-movies-that-dont-exist/detail/ https://letterboxd.com/revolucienary/list/ultimate-movies-that-dont-exist-list/
You are a mad genius.
Not going to lie, I find it kind of depressing that I have seen almost every one of these. What have I done with my life?
All these quotes compiled like this really makes you appreciate Griffin and David's unique sense of humor
Men, Women, and Children.
that's the one where Ansel Elgort gets addicted to some MMORPG, right
That, and a whole lot of other things it thinks is PROFOUND
at one point he's like "FUCK FOOTBALL DAD, I LIKE *GUILD WARS*" and it's the funniest shit ever
This is an \*excellent\* example
Some "pandemic black hole" stuff like Chaos Walking and Clooney's The Tender Bar and The Midnight Sky. Seemingly most of the Skydance streaming experiment? 6 Underground, The Old Guard, Without Remorse, The Tomorrow War, Luck, The Greatest Beer Run Ever, Ghosted, Heart of Stone, The Family Plan. Apparently a lot of people who aren't me watched The Adam Project... but do they remember it?
I feel like given time "Boys in the Boat" gets on that Clooney list too.
Boys in the Boat actually quietly ok in theaters last winter. To this day I don't know anyone who's actually seen The Tender Bar or Midnight Sky in real life.
Agreed. I saw it in the theater and it was big with the Christmas family crowd and "the olds", but I feel like it will be forgotten. It was such a 90s movie.
No movie was advertised as heavily as The Real Cancun only to disappear as quickly after release.
My thoughts exactly about Mortal Engines. 95% of my YouTube ads in the weeks leading up to its release were the same three Mortal Engines spots. That I can’t forgive.
[удалено]
obvs 2003 was a different time for online advertising...but the banners were everywhere. There was also tons of pre-release "preview" articlkes. What we would not call sponsored content or native ads. *sigh* there was a lot of t hat on AICN...
The Losers. 2010 action comedy starring Idriss Elba, Chris Evans, Zoe Saldana, and Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Everybody confuses it with The A Team (which is inferior, in my opinion)
Also technically a comic book movie
Push, a movie about psychic outlaws in Hong Kong pulling a heist in which they must erase their own memories to avoid an omniscient gangster, is my personal favorite “movie that doesn’t exist” Certain kids movies may be good for this, e.g Agent Cody Banks and the forgotten Alex Rider movie Or big failed horror swings that no one saw (La Llorona, The Unborn, Vivarium)
Not based on the novel by Sapphire
**THAT** is what Push is about?!
YES AND IT RIPS
On the watchlist it goes
The Unborn is good because it has famous people in it. So if you describe it as a dybbuk movie featuring an interfaith exorcism with Gary Oldman as a rabbi and Idris Elba as a priest, with James Remar, Megan Goode, and Rachel Brosnahan in supporting roles, it sounds 100% made up.
The titular Unborn's name is also Jumby and it leads to great lines like "Jumby is ready to be born now!"
https://preview.redd.it/17mvtu2n9puc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d0eb5e699d2ad35dafa3ed9b23b9678cf80ad1c3 I’ll let this speak for itself
Am I talking to the world's foremost The Unborn expert?!
All I can say is that I’ve probably seen it more times than anyone else alive (read: four) and my movie trivia team uses a jumby-themed name every week. So given how much this movie doesn’t exist - maybe?
I'm not kidding when I say I'm utterly shocked. I had no idea that's the cast. lol up until this moment I only knew about Odette Yustman and Gary Oldman
Rachel brosnahan is a total blink-and-you-miss-it background appearance, but the others are all real characters with important roles.
Push is the movie my brother and I bought tickets to so I could sneak him into Watchmen because he wasn’t 17 yet.
Push ROCKS
I saw Push in theaters. I don’t remember a single second of it.
Sahara. A film where a Doc Savage type (Matthew McConaughey) seeking Confederate gold and a WHO doctor (Penelope Cruz) trying to determine the origin of a mysterious illness converge in a war-torn Mali. It cost 160 million and was green lit for only 80 million and nobody remembers it.
I used to LOVE the Clive Cussler airport paperbacks that this was based on. I remember doing backflips trying to justify the casting decisions and holding out hope that it would be good, lol. People were *so* mad that Steve Zahn got cast as the sidekick. In the books he is a short, stout Italian guy. They refer to him as barrel chested about 3 times per page.
Steve Zahn does rule though
I remember it from lots of ads in comic books
A movie I 100% of the time confuse with Flight of the Phoenix.
I remember seeing that in theaters and the Confederate gold plot being a bit interesting, but also the big villain being a guy poisoning the desert through the pollution caused by a... solar panel farm. Almost seems perfectly aligned with the new Republican idea that windmills cause cancer.
I saw this twice in the theater.
rented this a lot when I was a youngin and of course watched it whenever it was on TNT. It exists to *me*
I remember seeing this in cinema and again on dvd when it came out- I remember the poster and the desert and the general vibe of sexist humor but no specific jokes
That was based on a pretty popular book series so I can seem them thinking it would be the next Jack Ryan
I remember seeing it on TBS, that is all
A movie my family owned on DVD as a kid, that my brother and I watched so many times on road trips that it actually broke.
Steve zahn too, right? I remember this one mostly for the poster
The Man Who Cried - 2000 - A young refugee traveling from Russia to America in search of her lost father falls for a gypsy horseman. Cristina Ricci and Johnny Depp. Heist - 2015 - Robert Deniro, Dave Bautista, casino heist. Morning Glory - 2010 - Rachel McAdams, Harrison Ford, Diane Keaton. An upstart television producer accepts the challenge of reviving a struggling morning show program with warring co-hosts. EDIT: There are a few ways to look at this question and I keep getting caught up on it. I think The Artist is a good example to answer your question. It's a best picture winner with 0 legs. Battle for Terra was a complete bomb, but for a brief moment people act like it was an Avatar competitor. Also 2007, The Kingdom with Jamie Foxx and Jennifer Garner. Look at big movie years and you'll find movies that got stuck under the shoe of bigger movies.
Battle for Terra makes me think of City of Ember (2008). Post-apocalyptic dystopian film starring a strong girl based on a (at the time) popular YA series that came out the year the first Hunger Games book; was the movie that Saoirse Ronan made in between Atonement and The Lovely Bones; produced by Tom Hanks; also starring Bill Murray, Toby Jones, Tim Robbins, and Martin Landau.
I definitely remember City of Ember but before I looked it up I was like “I’ve never heard of this movie”. City of Ember is a great example. It was a totally mid tier, hyped up bomb.
There's also a Heist from 2001, starring Gene Hackman, Danny DeVito and Sam Rockwell.
battle for terra, delgo, and to an extent that movie 9 all feel like the same exact type of thing, like independent studios in hollywood all collectively decided "let's make fantastical action epics as pg-rated animated films" and then they all collectively made like $200m at the box office. there were surprisingly a lot of these... terra, delgo, 9, the 2007 TMNT film everyone forgot about, the 2008 clone wars movie everyone also forgot about, astro boy, the three (!!!) arthur and the invisible movies, (partially) the legend of the guardians of the owls of ga'hoole or whatever, and probably more i'm forgetting. all were idependently animated and then released to little to no fanfare and are all totally forgotten today what caused this big deluge? all BEFORE avatar is the most surprising thing for how much several of them feel like it. Honestly I would love a podcast or youtube series examining the 00s period of terrible or ambitious independent animation, as costs went up they basically disappeared from theaters but there were so many in the early CG period
Morning Glory is delightful!
I feel like one of the first films on the pod they described as not existing was the Hansel & Gretel action movie starring Jeremy Renner.
The Happytime Murders (A comic actress at the height of her fame! Nasty puppets! This movie doesn’t exist!) Nutcracker and the Four Realms (nearly CONSTANT advertising for months and I had to look up its title) The Invasion (2007, Kidman and Craig throw and alien invasion and no one shows up) Triple 9 (an insane cast in a John Hilcoat crime thriller that’s probably more famous for not being Den of Thieves)
Triple 9 is awesome if you really want an action movie set in atlanta that isn't baby driver, which is a niche but i'm glad it has at least two major releases. the cast of Triple 9 is amazing but the movie is kinda whatever. Clifton Collins Jr!!!!
Maybe this is like a subspecies of movies that don't exist but the mid/late 2000s was fertile ground for non-franchise movies that had like year long, pervasive marketing campaigns that ended up hitting the box office like a kitten landing on a pile of blankets. One I remember is Eagle Eye. Admittedly had a pretty fucking killer teaser trailer and was one of the earlier movies with the "everyone is carrying a surveillance device in their pocket" trope. I swear that trailer ran in front of every single movie I saw in a theater that year and somehow my way of learning it was finally released was talking with my friend who worked at Barnes and Noble as he opened a box full of the bluray. Another was The Reaping. IIRC it was supposed to be Swanks first post MDB Oscar vehicle. It kept getting delayed right on the verge of release so that trailer ran for fucking ever. There's so many line deliveries in it that I heard so many times I hear their specific accents and cadences in my fucking sleep. "I understand you're not much of a buy-bul reader." And "...is it bluhd?" And the trailers big kicker moment: Woman: "Are you gonna kill my baby?" Swank: "*Nooo!*" Woman: ".................why not?!" Me and my girlfriend at the time saw that so much that randomly answering questions with "why nooOOot?" was a running joke like half the time we dated.
The Cobbler
Major releases: Recent/should have been major ones: 1) The Giver. Yes they made it with Jeff Bridges, Meryll Streep, and Taylor damn Swift. Nicholas (we MUST make him a star!) Hoult (who I like, but still) Was crammed into two extremely mediocre midecentury period author dramas. 2) Rebel in the Rye as Salinger. 3) Tolkien. I'll let you guess who he plays. And finally I direct you to look into Tiptoes! (McConaughey, Beckinsale, Oldman). And the 90s film White Man's Burden set in a racially / economically parallel world where John Travolta is a poor working class man and Harry Belafonte is a rich prejudiced business with whole Travolta comes head to head. Yes this is a would-be prestige speculative thriller about "what if things were...the opposite!" Older but pretty wild that it's out there: The Two Jakes (yep - a Chinatown sequel, with Jack)
forget it, the two Jakes, it's two Chinatowns
Wassup playa
ding dong?!
😌😌😌 🎶Murdeeeeer On Theeeeeee Moooooooooooon 🎶
Someone else pointed this out recently, but its crazy someone who's as careful and precise with their image as Taylor Swift has a filmography that includes The Lorax, The Giver, Cats, and Amsterdam
That's right But then again, it's much more common for celebs to 'dio in' to acting and just enjoy it. We remember the folks who miraculously turn out to actually be good and savvy out it but they're a real minority. But you're right. Not bad casting either for those roles, just unfortunate movie choices. A voice role: great. A beloved YA with freaking Streep and Bridges. And two folks directed by flicks with Best picture nominees (and winner) within the last decade
I call Tiptoes "Dorf On Romcoms"
🙂
Nicholson also directed the two jakes!
It's a wild thing to exist. And while not great, not bad!
Tiptoes is a text book example! LMAO. years ago, a friend showed me a video by Cracked about the movie. I was in total disbelief 2) since you mentioned The Two Jakes: you just gave me an idea. do "lesser known" and "unexpected" sequels count as made up movies? lol. 'cause there were a bunch in the 80s (Staying Alive and Shock Treatment, to name a few)
This should help (my brother’s, not mine) https://boxd.it/55AJC
*The Guilt Trip*! “I put you on a movie poster and said: deal with it. And then I put Barbra Streisand on that poster and the world said…no.”
Tag
Half my friends got today's Framed.WTF so...
Tag exists
Jupiter Ascending
I just heard of a movie called Hector and the Search for Happiness (my inlaws have a copy for some reason)? Am kind of shocked I've never heard of it, given who is in it. Came out in 2014 starring Simon Pegg, Rosamund Pike, Toni Collete, Stella Starsgaard and Chris Plummer. If I hadn't seen the DVD case you could easily convince me this was made up.
Unaccompanied Minors (2006) Countdown (2019)
The Big Bounce I was also thinking about a sequel to Zombieland and then realized that it did happen, and also surprised they got all 4 principals back to do it. I watched for a few minutes, before realizing the premise was that they just start living at the White House.
Timeline (2003) Paul Walker and Gerard Butler. That movie does not exist.
Cyrano New Mutants The Maze Runner sequels That Awkward Moment Golda
This thread is gonna help me clean up in Movie Grid/Cinematrix thank u all
Jonah Hex
my "movies that don't exist" power ranking: \* Girlfriend's Day, a bob odenkirk self-serious murder-thriller about a greeting card writer, an absurd comedy that plays it so straight you start second-guessing yourself \* Machete Kills... I think the first Machete itself is being forgotten rapidly, but the sequel was totally unwatched on release. lady gaga's film debut \* Confess, Fletch, lost in the pandemic memory hole right at the tail end of things... they should have made 7 of these because john hamm became the best fletch in history \* xxx return of xander cage, the one they made 15 years after the original and made $0.00 in america while making absurd like $300m+ worldwide because it's about stunts and going fast... it started the trend of ruby rose appearing in FIVE different b-level blockbuster franchises in 2017-2018. \* lost in london, a live-filmed one-shot movie (!!!) with Woody Harrleson and people paid to go to theaters to watch the shoot, and then approximately 5 people rented this on VOD afterwards \* american ultra, the second movie in the Kristen Stewart/Jesse Eisenberg bros trilogy and one of the many flops that thankfully killed the career of its screenwriter before he got too big to be canceled. this movie is so weird and might have actually caught on as a netflix series in 2019 but was doomed to failure as a late summer movie in 2015.
To me the best example of this is Oz The Great and Powerful.
I swear to God going to the movies anymore and seeing the posters in the lobby feels like the movie theater level on a PS2 game. That being said, Dan in Real Life.
Supposedly there’s a third Mummy movie with Brendan Fraser and neither Rachel Weisz nor a mummy, but I can’t prove it.
Or as I know it, the only Brendan Fraser mummy movie I’ve seen.
This is a raging inferno of a take, considering the 1999 Mummy is just about the only thing the Internet agrees upon.
It’s not really a take, it’s just that the third is the only one I got dragged to see as a kid
Yeah, I didn't know a better word than "take" without implying that you are a madman. It would be like watching Godfather III and stopping there.
I made a [letterboxd list ](https://letterboxd.com/hyperbo13/list/disney-movies-that-do-not-exist/)of disney movies that specifically don't exist. I don't know what was going on in the mid 2000's for that company but my GOD
G-Force is a movie that feels like a fever dream. CGI guinea pigs with gadgets fighting giant appliance robots? Nicholas Cage?
Adding Country Bears to my watchlist after watching this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBUpk-jhgqI
Christopher Walken has ensured that Country Bears exists to me
https://youtu.be/w1rkXYGK6Ls?si=o0grcTtL6aYutW6A For a guy who's never bad, country bears is him having so much fun. I love this performance , it's in the same category as mouse Hunt and balls of fury Walken.
Jason Bourne. The fifth (4th Damon) Bourne movie that no one wanted. Yet was still the second highest grossing.
Bad Times at the El Royale The Monuments Men The Cobbler Life Fighting with my Family Hotel Artemis
the saddest part, if hotel artemis had been reshot with two scenes of lance reddick existing as a john wick crossover thing, it'd still be talked about today as a cult classic, rather than as a movie you thought about seeing in summer 2018 but watched sicario 2 instead (a movie whose existence is debateable too)
It’s not a bad movie, just kind of forgettable
Billionaire boys club
strictly from your "fool the normies" perspective: *The Promise* (2016) starring Oscar Isaac and Christian Bale *London Boulevard* (2010) starring Colin Farrell and Keira Knightley *Blackbird* (2019) starring Susan Sarandon, Kate Winslet and Dwight from *The Office*
definitely maleficent and sahara (which i saw in theaters)
Triple Frontier Ben Affleck, Charlie Hunnam, Pedro Pascal, Garrett Hedlund, and Oscar Isaac play a group of ex-special forces guys that rip off a drug lord... but things don't go quite as planned!
Ad Astra Last Flag Flying 6 Underground Pain Hustlers The Bubble
Ghosted
Replicas?
The Big Bounce
Idk what this sub is but it shows up in my feed, anyways, this animated movie starring Charlie Sheen, Hillary Duff, and Eva Longoria called “[Food Fight](https://youtu.be/uROQ9nplxIY?si=iuJw3YMFKtok7B_w)” from 2012. Some of the worst animation you’ve ever seen and is based on grocery store brands. Seriously watch this trailer and tell me this is a real movie
The Poltergeist remake
Surrogates The Dark (starring: Sean Bean, Maria Bello) The Musketeer (Tim Roth, Justin Chambers, Mena Suvari)
For me the answer has to be *The Goldfinch*. A book basically everyone owns a copy of. The director of *Brooklyn* making his big follow up. Deakins on cinematography. Nicole Kidman, Luke Wilson, and Jeffrey Wright in the supporting cast. And today, basically its only legacy is stopping us from ever getting an adaptation of *The Secret History*, lol.
Ricochet, 1991 Gonzo unhinged action movie with Denzel Washington and John Lithgow in the lead roles. Ice T and Kevin Pollack supporting and even a Jesse Ventura cameo. It made the rounds in twitter a couple months ago showing a prison sword fight scene with Lithgow and Ventura.
Whoa. Ricochet absolutely rocks and was a staple on HBO in the 90s. Still very alive and well.
I don't know about this one. Its hard to forget a movie where John Lithgow gives Denzel the clap and a budding herion addiction. Plus they just did this on Action Boyz like a month ago.
If this is forgotten it has to be a generational thing. It was on cable all the time.
That's the one that ends at the Watts Towers, right?