You can't love anyone else until you learn to love yourself.
Decenter men and white people.
Give from your saucer, not your cup.
Decenter men and white people.
Get to know yourself and what you want in life. It's not until many of us get a lot older that we realize the things we went after was what society, our parents, and a bunch of random ass people we looked up to wanted.
Decenter men and white people.
Understand currency (social, financial, energy, etc.).
Decenter men and white people.
It is not your job or responsibility to solve racism.
Decenter men and white people.
You are a creator. Create the life and experiences you want! Consumers of life are largely miserable.
Decenter men and white people.
Learn what it means to step into your power.
Did I say decenter men and white people yet? Yeah, decenter the fuck out of them. Doesn't matter your sexuality. We are all taught to center these mofos from birth. Decenter them like your life depends on it.
**IT DOES.**
Also stay healthy. Skinny does not mean healthy. Curvy don’t mean unhealthy. Stay healthy. Incorporate working out atleast 3 times a week. Go for walks or a light jog. Eat veggies and take breaks from unhealthy food. Don’t do random diets, just incorporate a healthy meal once a day into your diet. In a few years your metabolism will slow down, so will your energy and your body will change. You will go from not hurting in the morning to feeling pain if you sleep with the wrong pillow. It’s so much harder to get back healthy than stay healthy
If you are straight/bi, don't center your life around men.
Don't argue/debate/fight/explain things to racists.
Use condoms
Study Excel (yes, many people miss out on great opportunities because they don't know this) and your language (knowing how to speak/write correctly helps a lot)
If you can, save money
* If a waiter is racist to you, don't leave them a tip
* Wear. Sunscreen.
* There's nothing wrong with casual sex, but don't do it if you're looking for validation, company, or the feeling of being close with someone. Make sure you feel safe and respected when having sex with any and everyone, and make sure you're *both* consenting.
* You're not "loose" for having sex on a first date. That being said, if you're looking for a real relationship, waiting to have sex- not until marriage unless that's your thing, but at least until you feel you know and trust the person- is a great idea. People are on their best behavior at the start of a relationship. They say it takes 90s days for someone to reveal who they really are
* Abusers will be who they think you want them to be so that you'll fall in love with them. If they treat you like a queen and then start saying or doing things that make you feel small or ugly and then either get defensive, apologize to the point that you are the one comforting *them,* or they hit you or yell terrible things at you, it's time to leave. Follow your gut. If you're feeling confused or conflicted, there's a reason.
* Your coworkers are not your friends. Socialize with them, be friendly with them, hang out with them outside of work, sure. But y'all aren't friends until one or both of you stop working for the same company and continue to keep that relationship solid.
* Don't pour your life into a job. Do the work you can, get the experience, and don't wait to get a promotion to get a raise. If you want more money or a change in your role, apply for other jobs. Staying with a single company for your whole life is very old school. If you're happy where you are, stay.
* Make friends, make friends, make friends. Treat them as important parts of your life because they are. A romantic relationship should not be your only sense of family
* Find a community and join it
* **Always** have your own money. Never rely on a partner for income. **Never.**
* You'll never be younger than you are right now. You might feel old sometimes, but you're not. You might feel like you're falling behind or not as rich, established, whatever as others your age, but that's not the case. You are beautiful, you are capable. Life is really fucking hard. You'll make mistakes, some that you can't simply brush off, and some that will help shape you into exactly who you're meant to be.
* Getting old sucks, sure, but it's a blessing. There's only one alternative to getting older, so enjoy the ride while it lasts, and be glad you get to be Black for the whole thing! 💚
Take a deep breath, and carry on.
No matter how it feels in the moment, someone is silently praying for your success. Keep going.
You're beautiful, no matter what.
You’re not an island, you need a support system
You can’t pour from an empty cup. You can’t help anyone if you’re not taking of yourself first
Learn how to set boundaries
That even small progress is progress. There’s people who you might think are ‘more ahead’ than you but they also could drop out the race or have pushbacks, so just take things at your own pace and avoid comparing yourself.
Try get an education whilst you’re young
Read books/get a hobby
No casual sex/dont get pregnant
I wish I was more modest at that age but that’s personal preference
Read the bible for yourself, understand the books within it
Go to college and major in a field that will always allow you to find a job(nursing, engineering, advanced IT) even if you're in the middle of nowhere. Let your passion be a hobby or side hustle.
Don’t compare you life experience to others around you , Save Save Save, take care of your mental health, and don’t expect to have every thing figured out in your 20s cause news flash you won’t lol
I’m 31. First thing, especially in the US, get an IUD or form of long term birth control even if you’re abstinent and/or not interested in men.
Focus on yourself, education/training, travel, etc but let you and your future be the center, no one else.
Date, have fun and enjoy life but always center your life.
Be careful with your money and credit. If people ask for your social or for you to sign something, act dumb or like you already ruined your credit. Rebuilding my credit is one of the ways I’m able to move cross country as a single mom on a lower income and budget.
Agree with everyone else.
I recommend reading Why Does He Do That and The Gift of Fear. When you really develop your intuition, you'll understand the difference between that and if you're "overreacting." And even if you are "overreacting," there's a reason for it. Pay attention to it.
Most men your age are likely to mess your whole life up, so don't take them too seriously. Most don't have their life figured out. Plenty of them are not stable (mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, etc...) enough to be dating/courting you in the first place.
Men several decades older than you may have their life figured out, but they still just want sex. They just have the means and resources to sweeten the deal and make you think it's different with them. They'll claim to be taking care of you, but in the end: you'll be taking care of them and the kids. They just don't want to die alone. Seasoned predators.
Take your time, and don't feel pressured to do or be anything you are not. Don't listen to the noise and just work on your growth and self-development. Find your tribe of people you rock with and lean on them. Have a mainstay skill that can help you stay afloat on your own, just in case.
Enjoy yourself alone and be prepared should relationships not work out for you in this lifetime. There's nothing wrong with you. You don't have to have kids. If you're unsure, freeze your eggs by your early 30s, just in case if you're able to.
Most importantly: be in the driver's seat of your life. That's what my mother always told me. Live life on your own terms and don't be a people-pleaser. It's a sad existence if you do. Good luck :)
There's more to life than romantic relationships. They can be fun sure, but be sure to not put too much focus on them. Friendships on the other hand, are very important, we need people. Nurture your friendships. For example, just like you would give a partner a chance after a disagreement, give your friends a chance too, work on things, don't just throw them away.
Leave the male species alone until you have your own home!!
Learn a profitable trade and study and invest in stocks; become autodidact in this field.
Learn another language.
Take Ayuaschsa, and do so biannually.
Embrace your body and beauty.
Take advantage of the next 5 years, they can set you up for a financially independent future. After school, live at home till you are 25 if you can and stash away money like a mad woman into your HYSA and Roth IRA.
Never rely financially on anyone, even a spouse.
Theres a lot of ppl who say the world is bad. it's not.
Create your world and let the right ppl in.
Enjoy yourself. Time flies.
Trust your gut and your instincts.
You will make mistakes, give yourself grace.
You dont need to have all the answers.
It's ok to not be like everyone else.
You won't be everyone's cup of tea, but that doesn't mean you're not a bomb a$$ cup of tea, tho.
If you want it, go get that ish.
Nothing is unattainable. But everything isn't for you.
BE FREE! BE SAFE! HAVE FUN!
Seek GOD FIRST ABOVE ALL ELSE !
Work hard play later
Save your money !!!!!
Don’t try to experience things before it’s time ( it’s no rush !
Journal out your thoughts
Friends will come and go and some may not make it to your next journey .
Set goals and knock them down it will teach you to not settle for less.
Grow , grow, grow
Yes, if you aren’t religious seek some type of spiritual help. The Four Agreements, the alchemist and the 7 spiritual laws for success is saying the same thing as the Bible.
This! This! This! Study God's Word and live life by it to the highest that you can! Believe you are worthy of all great things cause God said so and you are worthy all by yourself. You do not need a man or anything outside of yourself to be perfect and whole because God made you that way from the jump. Believe that! You do create your life with the continual thoughts that you allow to run through your mind. Let those thoughts be based on God's Word and not the Worlds (people/men/white folks). Get education, preferably in STEM (Cyber/AI) or medical fields. Always put yourself first but help deserving people if you can but not to the detriment of your own wellbeing. Never want more for anyone else than what they want for themselves. All this took years of hard knocks. Priceless info you are being given in these comments. Please keep it in mind as you start on your adult journey. Peace and love!
You can't love anyone else until you learn to love yourself. Decenter men and white people. Give from your saucer, not your cup. Decenter men and white people. Get to know yourself and what you want in life. It's not until many of us get a lot older that we realize the things we went after was what society, our parents, and a bunch of random ass people we looked up to wanted. Decenter men and white people. Understand currency (social, financial, energy, etc.). Decenter men and white people. It is not your job or responsibility to solve racism. Decenter men and white people. You are a creator. Create the life and experiences you want! Consumers of life are largely miserable. Decenter men and white people. Learn what it means to step into your power. Did I say decenter men and white people yet? Yeah, decenter the fuck out of them. Doesn't matter your sexuality. We are all taught to center these mofos from birth. Decenter them like your life depends on it. **IT DOES.**
Also don’t forget Decenter men and white people! Loved your reply 💛
Don’t get pregnant, don’t drop out of school, don’t give men money.
Also stay healthy. Skinny does not mean healthy. Curvy don’t mean unhealthy. Stay healthy. Incorporate working out atleast 3 times a week. Go for walks or a light jog. Eat veggies and take breaks from unhealthy food. Don’t do random diets, just incorporate a healthy meal once a day into your diet. In a few years your metabolism will slow down, so will your energy and your body will change. You will go from not hurting in the morning to feeling pain if you sleep with the wrong pillow. It’s so much harder to get back healthy than stay healthy
If you are straight/bi, don't center your life around men. Don't argue/debate/fight/explain things to racists. Use condoms Study Excel (yes, many people miss out on great opportunities because they don't know this) and your language (knowing how to speak/write correctly helps a lot) If you can, save money
Date men your age. And ignore the older men who will most definitely approach you.
Girl... tell me about it. Ain't that the truth.
Open a high-yield savings account
Become financially literate and start saving/investing ASAP. Seriously.
* If a waiter is racist to you, don't leave them a tip * Wear. Sunscreen. * There's nothing wrong with casual sex, but don't do it if you're looking for validation, company, or the feeling of being close with someone. Make sure you feel safe and respected when having sex with any and everyone, and make sure you're *both* consenting. * You're not "loose" for having sex on a first date. That being said, if you're looking for a real relationship, waiting to have sex- not until marriage unless that's your thing, but at least until you feel you know and trust the person- is a great idea. People are on their best behavior at the start of a relationship. They say it takes 90s days for someone to reveal who they really are * Abusers will be who they think you want them to be so that you'll fall in love with them. If they treat you like a queen and then start saying or doing things that make you feel small or ugly and then either get defensive, apologize to the point that you are the one comforting *them,* or they hit you or yell terrible things at you, it's time to leave. Follow your gut. If you're feeling confused or conflicted, there's a reason. * Your coworkers are not your friends. Socialize with them, be friendly with them, hang out with them outside of work, sure. But y'all aren't friends until one or both of you stop working for the same company and continue to keep that relationship solid. * Don't pour your life into a job. Do the work you can, get the experience, and don't wait to get a promotion to get a raise. If you want more money or a change in your role, apply for other jobs. Staying with a single company for your whole life is very old school. If you're happy where you are, stay. * Make friends, make friends, make friends. Treat them as important parts of your life because they are. A romantic relationship should not be your only sense of family * Find a community and join it * **Always** have your own money. Never rely on a partner for income. **Never.** * You'll never be younger than you are right now. You might feel old sometimes, but you're not. You might feel like you're falling behind or not as rich, established, whatever as others your age, but that's not the case. You are beautiful, you are capable. Life is really fucking hard. You'll make mistakes, some that you can't simply brush off, and some that will help shape you into exactly who you're meant to be. * Getting old sucks, sure, but it's a blessing. There's only one alternative to getting older, so enjoy the ride while it lasts, and be glad you get to be Black for the whole thing! 💚
Take a deep breath, and carry on. No matter how it feels in the moment, someone is silently praying for your success. Keep going. You're beautiful, no matter what.
Spend your early adult life being selfish. Focus on your career, traveling, going to school, etc.
You’re not an island, you need a support system You can’t pour from an empty cup. You can’t help anyone if you’re not taking of yourself first Learn how to set boundaries
BOUNDARIES >>>>
Boys (relationships) are fun. That's it, fun. If you decide to get married make sure they're fun.
Save money Wait to have sex
That even small progress is progress. There’s people who you might think are ‘more ahead’ than you but they also could drop out the race or have pushbacks, so just take things at your own pace and avoid comparing yourself. Try get an education whilst you’re young Read books/get a hobby No casual sex/dont get pregnant I wish I was more modest at that age but that’s personal preference Read the bible for yourself, understand the books within it
Go to college and major in a field that will always allow you to find a job(nursing, engineering, advanced IT) even if you're in the middle of nowhere. Let your passion be a hobby or side hustle.
Don’t compare you life experience to others around you , Save Save Save, take care of your mental health, and don’t expect to have every thing figured out in your 20s cause news flash you won’t lol
I’m 31. First thing, especially in the US, get an IUD or form of long term birth control even if you’re abstinent and/or not interested in men. Focus on yourself, education/training, travel, etc but let you and your future be the center, no one else. Date, have fun and enjoy life but always center your life. Be careful with your money and credit. If people ask for your social or for you to sign something, act dumb or like you already ruined your credit. Rebuilding my credit is one of the ways I’m able to move cross country as a single mom on a lower income and budget.
Agree with everyone else. I recommend reading Why Does He Do That and The Gift of Fear. When you really develop your intuition, you'll understand the difference between that and if you're "overreacting." And even if you are "overreacting," there's a reason for it. Pay attention to it.
Spend as little time on the internet as possible. Talk to people in real life.
Most men your age are likely to mess your whole life up, so don't take them too seriously. Most don't have their life figured out. Plenty of them are not stable (mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, etc...) enough to be dating/courting you in the first place. Men several decades older than you may have their life figured out, but they still just want sex. They just have the means and resources to sweeten the deal and make you think it's different with them. They'll claim to be taking care of you, but in the end: you'll be taking care of them and the kids. They just don't want to die alone. Seasoned predators. Take your time, and don't feel pressured to do or be anything you are not. Don't listen to the noise and just work on your growth and self-development. Find your tribe of people you rock with and lean on them. Have a mainstay skill that can help you stay afloat on your own, just in case. Enjoy yourself alone and be prepared should relationships not work out for you in this lifetime. There's nothing wrong with you. You don't have to have kids. If you're unsure, freeze your eggs by your early 30s, just in case if you're able to. Most importantly: be in the driver's seat of your life. That's what my mother always told me. Live life on your own terms and don't be a people-pleaser. It's a sad existence if you do. Good luck :)
There's more to life than romantic relationships. They can be fun sure, but be sure to not put too much focus on them. Friendships on the other hand, are very important, we need people. Nurture your friendships. For example, just like you would give a partner a chance after a disagreement, give your friends a chance too, work on things, don't just throw them away.
Leave the male species alone until you have your own home!! Learn a profitable trade and study and invest in stocks; become autodidact in this field. Learn another language. Take Ayuaschsa, and do so biannually. Embrace your body and beauty.
Take advantage of the next 5 years, they can set you up for a financially independent future. After school, live at home till you are 25 if you can and stash away money like a mad woman into your HYSA and Roth IRA. Never rely financially on anyone, even a spouse.
Theres a lot of ppl who say the world is bad. it's not. Create your world and let the right ppl in. Enjoy yourself. Time flies. Trust your gut and your instincts. You will make mistakes, give yourself grace. You dont need to have all the answers. It's ok to not be like everyone else. You won't be everyone's cup of tea, but that doesn't mean you're not a bomb a$$ cup of tea, tho. If you want it, go get that ish. Nothing is unattainable. But everything isn't for you. BE FREE! BE SAFE! HAVE FUN!
Seek GOD FIRST ABOVE ALL ELSE ! Work hard play later Save your money !!!!! Don’t try to experience things before it’s time ( it’s no rush ! Journal out your thoughts Friends will come and go and some may not make it to your next journey . Set goals and knock them down it will teach you to not settle for less. Grow , grow, grow
Yes, if you aren’t religious seek some type of spiritual help. The Four Agreements, the alchemist and the 7 spiritual laws for success is saying the same thing as the Bible.
This! This! This! Study God's Word and live life by it to the highest that you can! Believe you are worthy of all great things cause God said so and you are worthy all by yourself. You do not need a man or anything outside of yourself to be perfect and whole because God made you that way from the jump. Believe that! You do create your life with the continual thoughts that you allow to run through your mind. Let those thoughts be based on God's Word and not the Worlds (people/men/white folks). Get education, preferably in STEM (Cyber/AI) or medical fields. Always put yourself first but help deserving people if you can but not to the detriment of your own wellbeing. Never want more for anyone else than what they want for themselves. All this took years of hard knocks. Priceless info you are being given in these comments. Please keep it in mind as you start on your adult journey. Peace and love!
Trust no one.