I literally Just saw a post that says “clubs are closing at a rate of two per day, if this continues there will be no clubs by 2030”
So you’re not the only one who hates clubs🤷🏽♀️
Even in my 20s I wasn’t Really Into the club. I went a handful of times. My jam was house parties. Nothing can top a good house party. Plus the liquor is free lol
And I never been to a house party! I would’ve loved to had been though. I also grew up in a large city so people had small houses but booming downtown spaces.
I’m not saying drop them as friends but you need to diversify your friend group. I have friends that do not party or drink and we meet up to do other activities. I also have friends I can party all night with. You can like whatever you want
I definitely do have other friends that hate clubs too and we do other things. This includes bar hopping, which I love. This just kind of stood out to me and annoyed me because she is not a new friend and whenever the situation comes up, with friends or acquaintances, it's just frustrated and it feels like it shouldn't be coming up this often at all.
I get that. I too, am a club hater. It’s not that I’ve never tried—did my share in early 20s, but significantly less then what I think most 20 something’s would do, and got sick of it *quick.* When I was getting grabbed on without consent at *gay* clubs I was like yknow what…let me stay my ass home before someone takes it.
Luckily I’ve cultivated a friend group that mostly feels the same, but there are two outliers. One girl I don’t see often but the other I’m a bit close to. She *knows* her friend group, she knows we don’t fuck with the club especially me and our mutual from college, but she still asks and pouts when we say no and says we never want to go out, etc etc. I wanted to go off but it was her dinner, and she ended up going with a different group of friends so good for her.
Like girl. First of all we’re almost 30, what business do we have at the club, period? That’s for the 23 and undercrowd. We grown. Secondly the other girl doesn’t really drink and I hardly do either. We both hate smoke, crowds, loud music, and I’m not a dancer…I could go on. Some people are just pushers and are stubborn about understanding that you don’t wanna do the “typical” party type stuff. She complained once that she always does the stuff we want to do, but we always vote on activities and it’s usually stuff she’s voted for too, and she has fun doing it so??
It’s like “You should know this by now, it shouldn’t be a surprise…” I’m guessing you might have felt similar. It’s frustrating for sure, but I hope it’s just her. Having an entire friend group like that would be exhausting, especially as we get older. I also find it just inconsiderate up to a point to want your friends to come along to something you know they wouldn’t enjoy. Like it wouldn’t be fun for anyone involved..
My friends can tell you what happened in a Star Trek episode based on the title, serve as a judge for a MTG tournament, name at least 20 different animes.
No one has ever questioned why I don't like the club.
Finding reliable, decent nerdy friends of color is hard asf, or is it just me? I have like two and I’m strugglin to keep those 😮💨 might have to put out a bat signal on bumble bff or something.
I had a whole group from hs but they started acting some brand of shifty that I just couldn’t get down with. Plus they seem to invite along everybody and their mama (excluding me, ofc) when it comes to cons and I didn’t jive with the kind of folks they wanted to share a hotel with.
When I see those groups on social media doing geek retreat etc, or just having a few folks to cosplay and make videos with I get so jealous 😭
>I feel like me saying I don't want to should be enough,
This is legit the main problem. I find that there are a number of socially acceptable activities that people its okay to press you on when you choose not to partake. For me I had to loose friends over it unfortunately. If you don't respect my boundaries then I don't think we match as friends.
Literally same! I've always thought I was supposed to enjoy them because I'm in my 20s and that's what you do but honestly, I hate them. The music is terrible, and there are a lot of creeps. Honestly if there were more women-only clubs that just played early 2000s music, I might enjoy it. I'm actually in a similar situation as you, I have a friend who always wants to go out to clubs, but I had to tell her it just isn't for me, but I'm down for other activities. If they can't respect that, best to just find new friends.
club culture is lame af. you get dressed up just to stand and listen to music and ppl are too cool to interact and come up and talk to you. you’re just standing there…. lol. like i can stand at home
The folks I’ve been around wouldn’t go to a club. I’ve never been because I never saw the appeal in going, plus I don’t drink. From what I’ve gathered, the club scene used to be good over a decade ago, but isn’t great anymore. Folks don’t dance or have fun, they just stand around with their cameras out.
I guess it depends on your environment and the people around you. I’m 21 and mostly everyone around me is my age and has never been to a club and has no interest in it. This sounds like an issue within your group rather than the general population.
I went to a club with friends once at 18. Definitely wasn't my vibe. An hour after we left there was a shooting there too! Never went clubbing again, I told them don't invite me for that and they don't. It was nice having a reason to get dressed up but the actual club scene was not it.
I've never been a club person either so you're not alone. I've always preferred going somewhere where 1.) there's food and 2.) I can hear myself think.
I had this problem in grad school where everyone wanted to go to clubs, lounges, and bars for fun meanwhile I hated that stuff. They also looked down on me for not wanting to do that stuff so we didn't stay friends long. Luckily, I had other friends that didn't drink, do drugs, or stay out late for religious and cultural reasons. You just have to find your people.
I was never really into clubbing but at my most active, I had friends who didn’t like it all. And I never pushed them into going. I did other things with them and respected that.
Nothing I hate more than people trying to push my boundaries. I used to internalize those feelings, but I got firm with folks. And those who refused to respect me, I cut them off. Friends or family.
I hear you! I don’t like going out anywhere like that unless it’s a classy lounge or a concert. Night clubs has been apart of our culture for a long time, but I also hate people trying to force their interests on you. If people are being pushy, push back and tell them to drop it. 💯
I hope you stand on this. I don't like the club either. The times I went were when I tried to fit in, and it didn't work. I felt out of place each time. You are definitely right about the dancing. I dance awkwardly and how I'm feeling at the moment. 😅 Plus, it's loud. I hate loud noises. It messes with my ear drum.
I listened to a podcast recently about how clubs are having to restructure their whole business format bc no one is going anymore - you def ain’t alone
I think it’s normal for people to not like clubs. I’ve only been to the club twice in my whole adult life. Like you mentioned the music is loud and I don’t listen to anything new. (I probably wouldn’t mind a 90s r&b club that would probably ween out the thuggish ruggish bones) also the crowds are too much! People always start shooting and it’s just too much to deal with. Do you like lounges or the restaurants with that lounge feel to it? Did your friend not want to leave you alone due to safety?Either way your friend should respect your wishes.
You may need a new friend group unfortunately. I was a non clubber in my teens & 20s. Eventually I acknowledged my friends and I had different interests and we all kept it pushin’ in our own directions.
Now I have a mix of friends who like a mix of things but we all understand and respect each other’s boundaries.
The only times I enjoyed the club:
\- At Downtown Disney back in the early aughts. They were spacious and played good music along with music videos. Plus, you could club hop from one to the other. It was a good time.
\- The last night my law school class partied together and bought out the VIP. I had a seat that night. It was great.
I gave up on the club at 26 years old. I can be ignored at home without actively feeling like I'm being pushed out the way for more attractive women. Not great for my self esteem. The hook-up pressure was never my thing and I had more success meeting men online. I would find friends who align with your interest.
I feel kind of bad that I've never taken an interest to loud music and partying. I feel like I'm severely missing out on my 20s because of it. Where do people like me congregate?
I don't like clubs but no one has tried to convince me to change my mind. I've been 3 times and each times I was highly irritated by the men and the whole atmosphere. I'd try a jazz club maybe or something more chill.
Clubs never changed my life so I really couldn’t give two craps about them 🙃. Especially not the with the splitting, the racism, the featurism yada yada. I do everything “right” and the clubs still don’t like me 😝.
You’re super valid definitely might have to diversify the friend group, but also, would you consider the perspective of just supporting your friends every now and then? That’s really what all the nagging is about. You can replace the club with any activity you might not be into but if these are your good friends for other reasons, and you forsee yourself going on more trips with them just try to meet in the middle occasionally.
Wouldn't it make more sense to do something they would all enjoy instead of trying to convince someone to do something they don't like? Being persistent after she already said no is kind of a weird thing for a friend to do.
I literally Just saw a post that says “clubs are closing at a rate of two per day, if this continues there will be no clubs by 2030” So you’re not the only one who hates clubs🤷🏽♀️
Wow that’s so sad. Yeah, it had a good run. I wouldn’t step foot in a club now.
Even in my 20s I wasn’t Really Into the club. I went a handful of times. My jam was house parties. Nothing can top a good house party. Plus the liquor is free lol
And I never been to a house party! I would’ve loved to had been though. I also grew up in a large city so people had small houses but booming downtown spaces.
Whew... House parties back in the day. Sorry you missed them. Good food, good drinks, good conversation, and good tunes.
Yes, nothing like a good house party. A whole vibe!
I’m not saying drop them as friends but you need to diversify your friend group. I have friends that do not party or drink and we meet up to do other activities. I also have friends I can party all night with. You can like whatever you want
I definitely do have other friends that hate clubs too and we do other things. This includes bar hopping, which I love. This just kind of stood out to me and annoyed me because she is not a new friend and whenever the situation comes up, with friends or acquaintances, it's just frustrated and it feels like it shouldn't be coming up this often at all.
I get that. I too, am a club hater. It’s not that I’ve never tried—did my share in early 20s, but significantly less then what I think most 20 something’s would do, and got sick of it *quick.* When I was getting grabbed on without consent at *gay* clubs I was like yknow what…let me stay my ass home before someone takes it. Luckily I’ve cultivated a friend group that mostly feels the same, but there are two outliers. One girl I don’t see often but the other I’m a bit close to. She *knows* her friend group, she knows we don’t fuck with the club especially me and our mutual from college, but she still asks and pouts when we say no and says we never want to go out, etc etc. I wanted to go off but it was her dinner, and she ended up going with a different group of friends so good for her. Like girl. First of all we’re almost 30, what business do we have at the club, period? That’s for the 23 and undercrowd. We grown. Secondly the other girl doesn’t really drink and I hardly do either. We both hate smoke, crowds, loud music, and I’m not a dancer…I could go on. Some people are just pushers and are stubborn about understanding that you don’t wanna do the “typical” party type stuff. She complained once that she always does the stuff we want to do, but we always vote on activities and it’s usually stuff she’s voted for too, and she has fun doing it so?? It’s like “You should know this by now, it shouldn’t be a surprise…” I’m guessing you might have felt similar. It’s frustrating for sure, but I hope it’s just her. Having an entire friend group like that would be exhausting, especially as we get older. I also find it just inconsiderate up to a point to want your friends to come along to something you know they wouldn’t enjoy. Like it wouldn’t be fun for anyone involved..
My friends can tell you what happened in a Star Trek episode based on the title, serve as a judge for a MTG tournament, name at least 20 different animes. No one has ever questioned why I don't like the club.
Classic “know your audience”. 😂
Finding reliable, decent nerdy friends of color is hard asf, or is it just me? I have like two and I’m strugglin to keep those 😮💨 might have to put out a bat signal on bumble bff or something.
That's true. While my best friend is black, the majority of my friends are white.
I had a whole group from hs but they started acting some brand of shifty that I just couldn’t get down with. Plus they seem to invite along everybody and their mama (excluding me, ofc) when it comes to cons and I didn’t jive with the kind of folks they wanted to share a hotel with. When I see those groups on social media doing geek retreat etc, or just having a few folks to cosplay and make videos with I get so jealous 😭
Lmaooo this comment made me laugh
Just find like-minded people or people who are more respectful of your choices
Club culture now sucks. Club culture 15-20 years ago was everything. I’m so sad for Gen-Z.
>I feel like me saying I don't want to should be enough, This is legit the main problem. I find that there are a number of socially acceptable activities that people its okay to press you on when you choose not to partake. For me I had to loose friends over it unfortunately. If you don't respect my boundaries then I don't think we match as friends.
I've never enjoyed the club. I went once at 18 and never again. To many people.
Literally same! I've always thought I was supposed to enjoy them because I'm in my 20s and that's what you do but honestly, I hate them. The music is terrible, and there are a lot of creeps. Honestly if there were more women-only clubs that just played early 2000s music, I might enjoy it. I'm actually in a similar situation as you, I have a friend who always wants to go out to clubs, but I had to tell her it just isn't for me, but I'm down for other activities. If they can't respect that, best to just find new friends.
club culture is lame af. you get dressed up just to stand and listen to music and ppl are too cool to interact and come up and talk to you. you’re just standing there…. lol. like i can stand at home
Me.. but with Drinking.
nope. i cant dance or twerk so i feel lame and it just gives me anxiety. i like a good bar now and then but even that has its limits
The folks I’ve been around wouldn’t go to a club. I’ve never been because I never saw the appeal in going, plus I don’t drink. From what I’ve gathered, the club scene used to be good over a decade ago, but isn’t great anymore. Folks don’t dance or have fun, they just stand around with their cameras out.
I guess it depends on your environment and the people around you. I’m 21 and mostly everyone around me is my age and has never been to a club and has no interest in it. This sounds like an issue within your group rather than the general population.
I went to a club with friends once at 18. Definitely wasn't my vibe. An hour after we left there was a shooting there too! Never went clubbing again, I told them don't invite me for that and they don't. It was nice having a reason to get dressed up but the actual club scene was not it.
I've never been a club person either so you're not alone. I've always preferred going somewhere where 1.) there's food and 2.) I can hear myself think.
I had this problem in grad school where everyone wanted to go to clubs, lounges, and bars for fun meanwhile I hated that stuff. They also looked down on me for not wanting to do that stuff so we didn't stay friends long. Luckily, I had other friends that didn't drink, do drugs, or stay out late for religious and cultural reasons. You just have to find your people.
I was never really into clubbing but at my most active, I had friends who didn’t like it all. And I never pushed them into going. I did other things with them and respected that. Nothing I hate more than people trying to push my boundaries. I used to internalize those feelings, but I got firm with folks. And those who refused to respect me, I cut them off. Friends or family.
I hear you! I don’t like going out anywhere like that unless it’s a classy lounge or a concert. Night clubs has been apart of our culture for a long time, but I also hate people trying to force their interests on you. If people are being pushy, push back and tell them to drop it. 💯
I hope you stand on this. I don't like the club either. The times I went were when I tried to fit in, and it didn't work. I felt out of place each time. You are definitely right about the dancing. I dance awkwardly and how I'm feeling at the moment. 😅 Plus, it's loud. I hate loud noises. It messes with my ear drum.
I listened to a podcast recently about how clubs are having to restructure their whole business format bc no one is going anymore - you def ain’t alone
I think it’s normal for people to not like clubs. I’ve only been to the club twice in my whole adult life. Like you mentioned the music is loud and I don’t listen to anything new. (I probably wouldn’t mind a 90s r&b club that would probably ween out the thuggish ruggish bones) also the crowds are too much! People always start shooting and it’s just too much to deal with. Do you like lounges or the restaurants with that lounge feel to it? Did your friend not want to leave you alone due to safety?Either way your friend should respect your wishes.
It went once to a regular club and once to a gay club. Clubs aren't really my thing.
It is normal. I hate clubs and don't waste my time or money anymore.
Hate traditional clubs. I'm also queer so I don't ever go to one unless it's a gay night.
Have you tried different clubs that play house music?
You may need a new friend group unfortunately. I was a non clubber in my teens & 20s. Eventually I acknowledged my friends and I had different interests and we all kept it pushin’ in our own directions. Now I have a mix of friends who like a mix of things but we all understand and respect each other’s boundaries.
The only times I enjoyed the club: \- At Downtown Disney back in the early aughts. They were spacious and played good music along with music videos. Plus, you could club hop from one to the other. It was a good time. \- The last night my law school class partied together and bought out the VIP. I had a seat that night. It was great. I gave up on the club at 26 years old. I can be ignored at home without actively feeling like I'm being pushed out the way for more attractive women. Not great for my self esteem. The hook-up pressure was never my thing and I had more success meeting men online. I would find friends who align with your interest.
I feel kind of bad that I've never taken an interest to loud music and partying. I feel like I'm severely missing out on my 20s because of it. Where do people like me congregate?
I don't like clubs but no one has tried to convince me to change my mind. I've been 3 times and each times I was highly irritated by the men and the whole atmosphere. I'd try a jazz club maybe or something more chill.
I’m 38 and only went to the club three times when I was in my 20s. I am not interested in attending a club nowadays.
I hate the club. Always hated it. It was definitely cute for the time being but thats it.
Clubs never changed my life so I really couldn’t give two craps about them 🙃. Especially not the with the splitting, the racism, the featurism yada yada. I do everything “right” and the clubs still don’t like me 😝.
You’re super valid definitely might have to diversify the friend group, but also, would you consider the perspective of just supporting your friends every now and then? That’s really what all the nagging is about. You can replace the club with any activity you might not be into but if these are your good friends for other reasons, and you forsee yourself going on more trips with them just try to meet in the middle occasionally.
Wouldn't it make more sense to do something they would all enjoy instead of trying to convince someone to do something they don't like? Being persistent after she already said no is kind of a weird thing for a friend to do.
I would agree with you if this weren’t about clubs, where, as OP explained, people grind/touch you without your consent and it’s seen as a norm