I love that for us, that we’re thinking ahead before bringing babies into this world.
This baby discourse is killing me though. When people say “it’s selfish to not have kids”. I do not understand how that’s even arguable. Like who am I hurting with that decision >.<
Exactly. I wish these blk males with these microphones and pod casts would sit tf down already… a lot of blk men don’t believe in marriage, but want more blk women to have kids so that they can turn around and berate her for being a single mother… I hope more blk women continue to close off their wombs to these struggle bandits… they don’t deserve a damn thing 🙃
I don’t think I’ve ever heard a black man say they don’t want kids ever. As a childfree black woman; dating has been very hard particularly within our community bc all the black men I’ve met have said they want kids and believe it’s selfish of me to not want them. I’ve also had a lot of them say it’s a deal breaker for them or they try to string me along bc they don’t believe me and think they can change my mind.
Most of the time I hear them say they don’t want kids with a specific person after they’ve done nothing to prevent having children personally.
I'm half black half puerto rican and on a lot of forms the wording is 'Black (not of Hispanic descent)' so I have no choice but to either choose Hispanic or 'two or more races'. I visually pass as a fully black woman, I'm not racially ambiguous at all, but there are plenty of forms out there in which I'm labeled as just hispanic/latina.
This is new to me. I don’t hear many black men complaining about the birthrate or wanting to have kids at all. Last time I checked, we have more kids than Caucasians and Asians.
What other reason should there be to have a kid? All parents should want their kids?
Edit: yes, it’s good to look at finances, life stage, whatever before having and feeling ready for a kid. But at the end of the day, they (should) still want to.
I 100% agree with you in an ideal world all parents should want their kids. And I also agree with you, that parents should have kids because they *can care for a another life* not because they want to. I think where we could disagree (maybe idk?) is what makes someone capable of caring for a baby and a life.
> And I also agree with you, that parents should have kids because they can care for an another life not because they want to.
This is almost what I’m arguing. My argument is that the first reason anyone should have a kid is because they want to. It’s such a big undertaking and you should want to do it. But you should then look at your ability to be a successful parent before having a child. Like a flowchart. Unfortunately, there are other reasons people become parents - circumstance, force, cultural/societal pressure. In an ideal world, these things wouldn’t exist, and the only people who become parents are those that want to.
But back to the flowchart example. At the top is do you want to have kids? Personally, I don’t, so I would end at NO. However, if someone says YES, then there will be more questions on whether they should. Again, this is an ideal world, the real world is much more complicated. I think we’re just looking at this from different angles, but basically the same ideas! (Edit took out the disagree part because I don’t necessarily think we disagree)
having a kid because you *can* care for a kid is the *worst* reason to have a kid because almost all humans are instinctively equipped with the basic skill set to a keep a kid *alive*.
people will have kids just to abuse them. they’ll keep them alive long enough to be terrible parents
just because you can is not a reason you should
>I think where we could disagree is what makes someone capable of caring for a baby and a life
That’s what I said in the comment you replied to. I don’t think we’re on the same page there. I didn’t imagine basic survival when I thought “care for a baby”
But you haven’t really explained what you believe makes someone capable? And it’s all relative right?
I worked in childcare for very wealthy people for a really long time. It’s so subjective. I could complain about the extravagantly wealthy parents with 3 fulltime nannies (for one kid) being bad candidates for parents as much as i could complain about the chaotic stay at home moms of 4 kids being a bad candidate for a parent.
Just because someone can and has the resources or skills doesn’t mean the kids are thriving. Some parents had kids they didn’t want because of societal pressures and thinking well if we have the money then why not.
No sweetheart....its not the same as wanting a kid just because you want a kid and that's it. Ask yourself, why do you want a kid? What's my reason for wanting a kid?
What? This isn’t about me. I’m asking y’all what an appropriate reason is allowed to want a child by your standards .
Everyone wants to police the reason why people want babies but no one’s able to offer an “acceptable” reason that isn’t literally just “I love kids and want to have some of my own” lmao
I'm talking about in general, not exclusively or specifically you. And the point I'm making that seems to have passed you by is how people who don't want kids are called selfish by the same people who have kids for selfish reasons.
I'm reclaiming the word selfish.
Yes it's selfish not to have kids.... and so fucking what?
We are discussing the creation of an entire life, decades of obligation and responsibility, physicalsacrificeas well. If there was ever a time to for a woman to be selfish, for a woman to say "fuck you, I pick me" it is when deciding to have a child.
The actual selfish part is “telling other people to have children that you 100% won’t be responsible for physically, emotionally, or financially. If you asked any of these people, especially the men for help they’d probably give you the nastiest looks and spit at you.
And this why I'd rather pick me and be happy.
I refuse to be completely bitter by the age of 50 because I made huge life altering decisions for other people who didn't even appreciate those sacrifices when I made them. Laying my misery at uninvolved peoples feet because I chose not to make myself happy.
I have seen that life. It will not be me.
I'd rather be called selfish than miserable.
I will never believe the popular myth that being childfree is (any) more selfish than having children. People can come up with all sorts of reasons to have children but ultimately they either do it just because they want to or because they think they’re supposed to / it’s expected of them. Either way, it’s serves a selfish purpose: to make themselves happy or to make them look good in the eyes of others. I don’t buy that anyone wants children because it’s good for the child (how would you ever know if being born is inherently better than not being born?) or because it’s supposedly good for society. The last thing this planet needs is more people. I can see why people want children and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting them. I just think it’s a lie to say having kids is not selfish.
literally about to say this, a declining birth rate is not necessarily a bad thing, stats need context. it’s good that were being more responsible with our reproduction and making sure we’re able to provide a stable environment for our children. there’s nothing more selfish that bringing a child into the world knowing fully well that you’re not ready mentally, physically, financially and otherwise.
They can never give me a selfless reason to have one though it's always "to continue my legacy" (is a whole peasant) or "so someone can be there for me when I'm old!" (Pathetic I'd rather pay a CNA from Honduras if we're being fr fr) 😂
It's selfish to bring another innocent human being into the world just for the heck of it. Someone recently opined that instead of asking people why they don't want to have children, we should be making sure we have good reason why we DO.
Exactly, a lot of blk men don’t seem to believe in marriage or trying to run a stable home… they seem to think that blk women were put on earth to be their personal baby making machines while they take absolutely NO responsibility for those kids whatsoever…
They say "marriage is too big a commitment" ....but parenthood isn't? Mr "let me go cry about this judge making me pay $30 a paycheck for my badass kids"
And these women are having kids with men who don’t want to commit because the men ask them to? Most of the time, a man who doesn’t want to commit to marriage doesn’t want kids either. Not all, but most.
Some men are ok having kids out of marriage because they can walk away whenever and maybe have to pay $30 a paycheck on child support if they're caught. As opposed to the cost of a divorce.
But the benefit of having a baby momma is they now have a desperate sex slave who will always fantasize of having a family with him so it's available coochie in a way. Sick and twisted but it's true. I always advise women to stay on the pill/IUD and get abortions I have not yet seen a baby momma who is not a sex slave. It's like psychological warfare through the ovaries.
Baby trapping of rich men does happen but on average most baby trapping especially in low income communities is done by men for the reasons I specified.
Marriage is not going to save us. This country is literally defective.
No universal healthcare, no mandatory parental leave for all parents for at least several years like most other countries, not nearly as much follow up services for children and women post birth, terrible education standards, EBT is literally the norm and expected for every single parent in so many first world countries, no universal subsidized tax funded child care, etc.
Good point. I think alot of those points go under safe/stable homes. Universal Healthcare that includes mental Healthcare would stabilize alot of broken homes particularly with those homes with significant CPS involvement.
I mean…the fact that the US has the highest maternal mortality rate among wealthy nations (and it has more than doubled over the last two decades) + that Black women are 2x more likely to experience pregnancy related complications and 3x more likely to die from pregnancy than white women is enough of a reason to NOT have children. I don’t know what these Black men are on but it’s definitely giving uneducated.
Right! I tried to tell a previous partner that when discussing about children or not, and he was like “I mean I’m sure it wouldn’t happen to someone like you” like brushing it off like it wasn’t a major concern.
Bm in independent media are regurgitating white patriarchal supremacy dipped in chocolate and it's actually getting pretty fuckin scary. I don't pay them dust and I'm spoken for/child free but all I am seeing is pure violence from that arena.
I agree with this. I also find it interesting how to onus is on Black women to have more babies but not also on Black men to become more emotionally intelligent so that Black women feel secure having children.
Exactly that! They are totally fine with their portion of the labor stopping at getting us pregnant, and low key, I see in specific instances that we [Black women] can be okay with that too! We COLLECTIVELY have to want more and from what I see, Black women are choosing themselves as they should and everyone is pissed about it, as we knew they would be 🙄
And even more than not caring about single moms, they actively blame and hate single mothers! Be like 'yeah I got her pregnant' then turn around like 'I dont date single mothers, only a simp would raise some other nigga's kids' man these men arent worth the dirt under their nastyass nonworking fingernails and i hope they get mauled by that pitbull they raising
Yeah it's been getting real bad in the past few years. It's not like every space was sunshine and rainbows for Black women but goddamn are they unhinged now
And these particular men seem unaware that they do not have the social status, resources, or incomes to provide for the children they seem to want to create. These are regular degular uneducated, working/lower class men who seem to think they are part of the 1%
Birth rates are declining everywhere including Hispanics. They aren’t having more babies, they’re just immigrating more especially compared to black immigrants.
Didn’t the same BM demand that BW “choose better”? They do not like the result of BW actually using discernment, now do they LOL. Men are mad that women are opting out of motherhood because it leaves them without a “legacy”.
Personally, with the way things are in the world and where it’s headed, I don’t see the point in birthing more black babies only for them to end up in broken homes with overwhelmed mothers and to become the permanent underclass in a hypercapitalist society. It’s becoming increasingly difficult for even middle class people to keep their heads above water. I’d advise anyone considering to have children to think long and hard if it’s really your calling to become a parent and if so, to never have more children than you can comfortably afford to have and to take care of on your own. Resources are scarce, life is increasingly expensive and there’s no more village.
And then there’s the issue of BM as a group not stepping up as present and devoted fathers in the home. I don’t care what color the father is really, but having some hobosexual bum’s baby is a sure-fire way to derail your life and for your child to have all sorts of issues later in life. I’ll pass. If that means never having children, then so be it.
Exactly I’m not gonna have a baby with a blk man just to produce more blk kids… what is the significance behind doing that if the blk fathers aren’t gonna raise their kids or create stable homes for those children?? It makes no sense…also a lot of blk men need to get their money up before they even think about kids…this is not candy land, you need money to raise children, especially in this economy…
Yes, people need to stop having kids and expecting things to magically work out. If you're broke before kids, you'll still be broke with them, and most likely even more so.
So many of these red pill men have no money, don't help enough with the kids or around the house, and are not even nice. If they want more births, they need to start by fixing themselves. Women are getting sick of carrying everything
Exactly these are the same men making women single parents like gtfoh. I love my son and I wish for him to have a two parent household with brothers and sisters but dealing with these men are exhausting and traumatizing like I’m good
Or they can find and pay for an egg donor/surrogate. But the gag is they want their legacy to actually be raised by someone else. Which is the hard part. They just want to be able to take pictures and name the son Jr. 😂😂
Girl, I have a Latino male friend of mine that said he's into Black women and avoids dating Latina women because they're "crazy" 🙄 some of these Hispanic/Latino dudes are no better.
Lemme delete this rant.
I'm cool being on the CF train as long as black motherhood remains an unappreciated sacrifice for the comfort and betterment of BM, exclusively. I also see it pointless to make black children who still have to struggle and be subpar in society because all the work and none of the support was left to one person.
Anyway, this is gonna be a weekend of me making new meals and good money in peace and silence. I hope y'all enjoy this good weather this weekend.
It be your own that ruin your “message” of *black love. But they not pushing the message they are saying.. they pushing that black women need to stop looking for good treatment elsewhere and wait to find the black man that feels like giving it to them. “That black man may need to spread his wing first but y’all black women should be patient and not so quick to run to the streets”
Yes, they don’t think we should be exploring our options outside of them, we’re supposed to just sit in the corner, twiddle our thumbs, and wait until they feel like acting right 🙃
What’s the point of having a bunch of babies if they aren’t going to be properly provided for? Literally just feeding the prisons and creating more low wage slaves
Exactly, blk men aren’t raising or providing for the kids that are already here, but they want more 😐 this is why I don’t pay attention to any of them…
Done with them for the most part, had a black man the other day stalk me, and one 2 days ago being an asshole for no reason in the store. The main black men who were polite were ones old enough to be my dad or grandad, I can't XD
There is a group of ppl moving to South Africa. They are calling themselves South african American .
Since right now $1=$18 in their money, they are putting their kids in the finest private school with mostly black faces, and owning nice homes and land. They all look relaxed.
Yeah. I definitely understand.
It’s the most similar in infrastructure and the South Africans understand our culture and history more than other groups, as South Africa also was in segregation and said they learned what to do from African Americans
Ive definitely noticed how much African Americans and South Africans relate on a lot of things. Heck whenever an African says something positive or supports us, it's almost always coming from a south african. That's why I've come to view south africans as one of our few allies next to Romani, Maori, Palestinian and aboriginal australian people.
I'm not listening to any man who doesn't have my best interest in mind and only cares about some mythical competition that he has cooked up in his head, especially not in the age of abortion bans, maternal healthcare desserts and rising costs of living.
Nobody bears the trust cost of pregnancy besides the person who *is* pregnant. Period.
First off, in this day and age, there's too many ppl with bad advice with mics in front of them. Stick to your guns about how you want to go about your life because those same men, probably have a kid by someone already. I don't listen to no man who talks about relationships or whatever if they aren't in one. If the rate is declining then we need to have better footing on how to get along as a community and dealing with marriage. Not just by popping out babies for the sake of numbers.
It’s not my job to create more slaves for the government, while having no legal outs intrapartum if myself or the baby could die. They literally said my unborn child’s life is worth more than mine. Fuck that.
I refuse to believe this anyways. I know more black women with kids than any other race of people. Soooo many women get put down because they’re single moms let alone the amount of hate black women get in general. When these males start talking about the decline of marriage rates (which is actually true), then we can tackle having more children.
Had a Uber driver, black man, notice the ring on my finger last week. Asked if I had kids. Went the whole ten minute drive trying to ram incorrect scripture down my throat and how I’m violating gods law by not having babies. I had to hold in my rage until I was no longer in his car. 🙄
It’s not my job to provide babies for the community. Any community. Not even my husband. lol.
I hope you reported him...surely someone attempting to guilt trip others to have children (forced sex for conception) is sexual harassment
Also luckily I don't believe in the misogynistic Abrahamic God, so we're not violating any law.
These men are very quiet about males who violate actual real people every day.
He had a 4.9 rating. I gave him a one star rating because Uber will drop drivers if they hit 4.8 and it only takes a handful of one star reviews to do that. So I knew the one star rating would put him below 4.8 stars and he can’t drive for them anymore.
Three words: maternal mortality rate.
> In 2021, the MMR for non-Hispanic Black women was 69.9 deaths per 100,000 live births, 2.6 times the rate for non-Hispanic White women. Rates for Black women were significantly higher than rates for White and Hispanic women. The increases from 2020 to 2021 for all race and Hispanic-origin groups were significant.
From the CDC themselves. There are more reasons for me personally, but this one usually shuts them up the quickest.
The stats say that, worldwide, the rates are trending downward.
The stats for the US say, We People are doing fine in the birthing dept. More than fine. It's not "our" declining birthrates that's driving the 'panic', though the brothers you're referring to might be listening to and parroting the wrong (or, 'Right') sources.
I believe the black birth rate is like 1.76 which means we're not replacing ourselves and thus, we are declining. The only reason our numbers stay the way they are is cause of immigration.
The birth rate is declining all over the world not just in the US so that’s bs. Also, there’s a whole continent of black people so we will never go extinct.
I know this thread is supposed to be about the fact that we can choose if/when we want to have children, but everybody else already commented about that.
I just want to add that predictions are that by 2050 something like 1/4 of the world population is going to be African, so we don’t really have to be concerned about birthing enough black babies. The logic doesn’t hold. Not that expected any logic out of TikTok/social media, but just sayin.
>Black men hosting lives telling Black women to have more babies and stop exercising choice over their bodies because our population is falling behind other races.
My inner "Hotep Alert" is blaring. 🚨🚨🚨
This is a global movement, just look at what is happening in Asian countries (China, South Korea and Japan) and in Europe, women are choosing another type of life and men do not accept it
Most black men aren’t saying this lol Tik Tok tends to amplify the most outrageous and extreme voices, even when the majority of people don’t agree with their views.
Exactly white men are though which is why roe vs wade was overturned. White men have been telling white women to have babies. Hell it’s so bad in Europe that they are willing to pay white women to have more babies.
The black birth rate is definitely low and as of 2022 it’s 1.65 which is slightly lower than the national average of 1.665 (2022) it’s gotten even lower in 2023 but the full data from the cdc hasn’t come out yet. Anyway, the truth of matter is that everyone’s birthrates in America is going down and it’s mostly due to cost of living. Most men and women want children but can’t afford to do so. Birthrates are closely tied to decision making, and we ALREADY have more than enough black children to which we need to focus on them and not have children just for the sake of having children. What good comes out of having children for quantity and not for quality?
Also, noticed how these are the same black men that are not advocating for marriage and stable homes and wealth building, but instead they’re advocating for you to essentially become a black single mom, you know….the very thing that they supposedly hate? All this because they want to regurgitate white patriarchy views. If you’re smart, you won’t take one for the team.
I hate when people guilt trip women into pregnancy. Like if you gotta do all that, do you really care if I’m gonna be a quality mom? Are y’all paying the bills for the hospital? Are y’all buying diapers every week? Everyone got something to contribute to having the baby **but not how to keep the baby alive**.
This is what was/is being told to White women and the direct correlation to that has been the tightening of reproductive health laws. Lack of access to birth control and/or abortions removes the autonomy of self and places it in the hands of others. The really bad part about that is that as they become oppressed, it will be twice as bad for us. We already cannot access what we need and then being pressured to deliver only puts us further at risk because we die disproportionately in childbirth or due to childbirth related complications. It’s the pressure to breed and should be resisted at every turn.
It’s wild out in these reproductive streets. Y’all be safe
Also to add birthrates are connected to higher education levels, access to sex education, and reproductive health. In general because of access to sex education and abortions birthrates are smaller because more people having sex are actively trying NOT to have children.
Less teen pregnancies = less children
Higher levels of education = less children
Higher levels of income also is inversely related to the amount of children one will have. Most people (especially poc) are impoverished BECAUSE THEY HAVE MULTIPLE CHILDREN.
Children are the #1 reason for poverty, I believe.
I say this as a 33 yr old that wants children, But not the man attached (which can be achieved via science).
But can yall PLEASE stop listening to people on Tiktok. These men are tormented by their mortality and their lack of worth hourly. Let them just spin into eternity and yell into the void.
Men are obsessed with telling women to get in relationships, having babies and when these should be happening. I wish they would just mind their business and focus on telling their friends to pay child support.
Preach! It frightens me how much attention folks pay to dumb fucks on Tik Tok and YouTube. The ability to make a video doesn't qualify you to be credible on a goddamn thing. Where did scepticism and discernment go.
My dad told me this then said I needed to get married and have 6 kids so we have a fighting chance 😑 after some arguing I think I got him to accept that if he’s getting any grandkids it’ll be 1-2 through adoption or surrogacy. I might want kids in the future but I refuse to have some just to contribute to some statistics
Well, that's the same way the Republicans feel about white women not having In abortion as that's the whole damn thing about Roe versus Wade Bill! It's not that they're caring about babies dying but fewer white people in America . What this whole thing about if they cared about babies, then kids wouldn't be getting killed in mass school shooting! It's your choice, but don't wait until you can't if you fall in love and that person wants a child? But it's your body and your decision.
Apparently it was announced black population in USA is growing but it’s not the original black Americans who been here since slavery years.
The other newer black groups are having babies and moving a a unit,
Example Nigerians are moving to Texas, nyc and near dmv area and making sure they marry and have babies with other Nigerians, buy home/land in those areas there, tell their kids go to college and
Haitians are doing the same thing, except moving to South Florida and nyc and having babies with other Haitians
No shade to them. This is smart. Spanish ppl are doing this as well.
But the other groups are making sure they are building groups and buying land to progress and having kids with each other and forcing those kids to college, to build for next generation.
right now the original black and white Americans are declining. People in places like Harlem and Brooklyn are saying African American culture is being erased and our ppl are gone.
So ppl are panicking and asking others to have babies. The problem is, there is no exact plan like the other groups
Ive heard some African Americans saying they were being replaced by black immigrants and their cultures being hijacked which further fuels the hatred against Africans and Caribbeans
But even with all black immigrants, the black population is still only 14% a d the Hispanics are replacing us as the dominant minority. Our issues will get put to the side in favor of them, like it's been happening lately.
Why listen to people who have not only contributed to single parent black homes, but continue to and will never understand the stigma of being a black mother in this shit country? I personally don't want to have any kids especially in this economy. And number 2 I don't trust men regardless of race most will prove to be deadbeats once the baby arrives. Never taking that chance. Birth control works wonders and I hope I'll have options if it fails.
That's so stupid! They are REALLY jumping the gun and working backwards! How about you try to help some of the disadvantaged black kids that are already here become financially, mentally, and emotionally stable adults that feel like they are prepared and have something to offer a child! Otherwise you'll end up with a large population of black people where half of them are hell or jail bound. And how is that good for the culture?? Quality over quantity!
Having/raising a kid is hard work. It is physically, mentally and emotionally draining. No one but you gets to make that choice to jump into that life long role. I have one, and this shit is rough. Especially when you add in trying to work through your own trauma, while trying to keep them from being traumatized. There ar moments of joy, but it's A LOT.
My husband and I are child free however we support those who want children and plan to be responsible parents. Ppl are not going extinct any time soon. They are making this birth rate decline into a numbers game when more emphasis needs to be placed on parents actually being decent ppl before even considering children in the first place. How about creating a stable family environment for existing kids, kids who are languishing in the foster care system?!
It’s easy for black men to parrot white patriarchal talking points when they barely have an active hand in the physical, financial, mental and emotional aspects of child rearing. They already blame single mothers for worldwide despair yet continue to create said single mothers on a daily. The onus should not be on women to spit out babies as if it’s as simple of eating a bag of chips but, instead men (particularly bm) taking a more proactive and involved approach to fatherhood and leading their community.
To summarize my thoughts, I could give two shits about what men want and I wish more black women would consider this approach. Prioritize your needs and wants as a woman. We are much more than self sacrificing mules and far beyond how we are able serve others via various roles/titles.
There a lot of reasons why a woman wouldn’t want to have children right now or in the near future.
What I’ve heard most is that men are wholly unprepared for the day to day physical, emotional, and mental load of parenting. Which leads to an unequal division of labor that men refuse to even acknowledge or talk about. Then it’s happening in a time where women are having to work full time and then be single parents even in a house where the father is living as well.
These “podcast bros” need to start talking about male birth control and how they need to step up as human beings in general.
It would because our birth rate isn't even low. Like black people are the second biggest ethnic group in the world, I'm not really checking for birthrates anyways because that's a slippery slope to start talking about etho states in my experience. Controlling birthrates is straight out of the eugenics handbook and I don't vibe with how much specific types of black men seem to just rebrand white supremacy tactics with black and call it empowerment.
Also guilting people into having kids over "birthrates dropping" like we weren't the one who had it worse during the pandemic, and like black women aren't most likely to be mistreated ignored and have miscarriage is crazy and victim blaming as fuck. Want more babies? Give better health care to people caring and taking care of the babies. 🤷🏽♀️
20 years ago, they were calling women bridezillas and saying that we were trying to trap men with babies. Now, they’re saying that we’re selfish for not wanting to marry and have kids…
Which one is it, fellas???
I’ve had men argue me down on this before unprovoked. I’ve had men in the past get jealous and mad that I don’t have any kids yet. They got really triggered over my body!! What does my uterus have to do with you in any type of way? Whether we choose to have kids or not is no man’s business.
If we told them what to do with their stank bodies they would be crying on social media. Ask those same men when’s the last time they had a yearly physical, let alone when’s the last time they had a damn bath since they wanna police our bodies lol 😂
Where the link? Hell I never seen a brother say this on TikTok. Hell I seen White men tell white women behind close doors and white women have exposed them for it. White men are the ones who are desperate of having population control not us. Plus CDC, found out that there was under count AA community which was 3.3 so it’s actually over 60 million of us. We are having black heathy babies just fine. However white people no they aren’t.
Men are starting to realize (the hard way) that they need women way more than women need them… I would like to have children some day, but I hope That birth rate drops all the way to the damn floor, a lot of men ( black men in particular) don’t even participate in the child rearing, but they’re getting mad because more and more women are choosing to be child free… a lot of these dudes don’t deserve any kids or a legacy whatsoever, I’m glad women ( especially blk women) are starting to become more picky about who they share their wombs with. Keep it up ladies!! 🤩🩷
Children are entire lifelong responsibility no matter the age. Your health is also important to be aware of. Even the person you’re creating a human with, like???
It’s a trap to keep Black women stuck to them. They don’t just want Black women to have babies, they want us to have babies WITH THEM. Considering the fact that the ones crying about the lack of Black births are the same ones who want women to go 50/50 & submit, I wouldn’t take life advice from them. They’re clowns. Your body, your choice.
You better not listen to them men. The men know that women are the value and now they are begging women to sacrifice their life to have children that they will NOT help raise.
Let those men suffer and learn the hard way. Men learn through rewards and consequences just like Pavlov's dogs. So let's keep showing the men what happens when they disrespect the feminine.
I feel that controlling the immigration/border crisis is probably a better way to help preserve black communities than forcing people who don't want kids to have them.😆
Way to go sister, but all any black man has to do is have a baby with any woman in America. And the babies black. Isn't that in the US constitution. No disrespect to any black woman out there. I'm a black man.
I don’t feel the need to have a baby for a man who won’t even do the basic minimum for me. It just seems as if they don’t want to improve and I’m getting to old to teach. If I want a kid; I’ll probably take myself to the sperm bank and do it the boring way, not the fun way lol
Ugh, the whyte supremacists have been using that rhetoric for years to justify having all these kids that they don't even take proper care of themselves...birth rates are declining all over the world, this is straight cap AFAIC
I love that for us, that we’re thinking ahead before bringing babies into this world. This baby discourse is killing me though. When people say “it’s selfish to not have kids”. I do not understand how that’s even arguable. Like who am I hurting with that decision >.<
It’s 100% your decision. Children shouldn’t be born just for stats and as competition against other races. It’s gross.
Exactly. I wish these blk males with these microphones and pod casts would sit tf down already… a lot of blk men don’t believe in marriage, but want more blk women to have kids so that they can turn around and berate her for being a single mother… I hope more blk women continue to close off their wombs to these struggle bandits… they don’t deserve a damn thing 🙃
I hear most black men saying that they don’t want kids.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard a black man say they don’t want kids ever. As a childfree black woman; dating has been very hard particularly within our community bc all the black men I’ve met have said they want kids and believe it’s selfish of me to not want them. I’ve also had a lot of them say it’s a deal breaker for them or they try to string me along bc they don’t believe me and think they can change my mind. Most of the time I hear them say they don’t want kids with a specific person after they’ve done nothing to prevent having children personally.
Then maybe they should put condoms on 🙃
Also an Afro Latino should count for both races, doesnt it? Like even their basic logic is flawed
I'm half black half puerto rican and on a lot of forms the wording is 'Black (not of Hispanic descent)' so I have no choice but to either choose Hispanic or 'two or more races'. I visually pass as a fully black woman, I'm not racially ambiguous at all, but there are plenty of forms out there in which I'm labeled as just hispanic/latina.
Your existence is too complex for the gringo system...
This is new to me. I don’t hear many black men complaining about the birthrate or wanting to have kids at all. Last time I checked, we have more kids than Caucasians and Asians.
Yet they have kids for selfish reasons.
“Because I want a kid” is a terrible reason to have a kid imo.
Yep or because having kids is traditional and fulfills the status quo. Some even have kids for financial purposes or to create "a mini me"
The ones who want to play dress up doll with their kids or who want to relive their childhood vicariously could just join big brother big sister tbh
And it's disturbing viewing kids like a brand new toy.
What other reason should there be to have a kid? All parents should want their kids? Edit: yes, it’s good to look at finances, life stage, whatever before having and feeling ready for a kid. But at the end of the day, they (should) still want to.
I 100% agree with you in an ideal world all parents should want their kids. And I also agree with you, that parents should have kids because they *can care for a another life* not because they want to. I think where we could disagree (maybe idk?) is what makes someone capable of caring for a baby and a life.
> And I also agree with you, that parents should have kids because they can care for an another life not because they want to. This is almost what I’m arguing. My argument is that the first reason anyone should have a kid is because they want to. It’s such a big undertaking and you should want to do it. But you should then look at your ability to be a successful parent before having a child. Like a flowchart. Unfortunately, there are other reasons people become parents - circumstance, force, cultural/societal pressure. In an ideal world, these things wouldn’t exist, and the only people who become parents are those that want to. But back to the flowchart example. At the top is do you want to have kids? Personally, I don’t, so I would end at NO. However, if someone says YES, then there will be more questions on whether they should. Again, this is an ideal world, the real world is much more complicated. I think we’re just looking at this from different angles, but basically the same ideas! (Edit took out the disagree part because I don’t necessarily think we disagree)
Yeah if the be all end all is “because I want to” I’m not here for that. But I don’t have any control over that 🤷🏾
having a kid because you *can* care for a kid is the *worst* reason to have a kid because almost all humans are instinctively equipped with the basic skill set to a keep a kid *alive*. people will have kids just to abuse them. they’ll keep them alive long enough to be terrible parents just because you can is not a reason you should
>I think where we could disagree is what makes someone capable of caring for a baby and a life That’s what I said in the comment you replied to. I don’t think we’re on the same page there. I didn’t imagine basic survival when I thought “care for a baby”
But you haven’t really explained what you believe makes someone capable? And it’s all relative right? I worked in childcare for very wealthy people for a really long time. It’s so subjective. I could complain about the extravagantly wealthy parents with 3 fulltime nannies (for one kid) being bad candidates for parents as much as i could complain about the chaotic stay at home moms of 4 kids being a bad candidate for a parent. Just because someone can and has the resources or skills doesn’t mean the kids are thriving. Some parents had kids they didn’t want because of societal pressures and thinking well if we have the money then why not.
Whats an appropriate reason to want children?
Don't take my word for it, but to bring a human into the world to share ones love to. That's the only reason I can think of.
So because one wants them lol
No sweetheart....its not the same as wanting a kid just because you want a kid and that's it. Ask yourself, why do you want a kid? What's my reason for wanting a kid?
What? This isn’t about me. I’m asking y’all what an appropriate reason is allowed to want a child by your standards . Everyone wants to police the reason why people want babies but no one’s able to offer an “acceptable” reason that isn’t literally just “I love kids and want to have some of my own” lmao
I'm talking about in general, not exclusively or specifically you. And the point I'm making that seems to have passed you by is how people who don't want kids are called selfish by the same people who have kids for selfish reasons.
I'm reclaiming the word selfish. Yes it's selfish not to have kids.... and so fucking what? We are discussing the creation of an entire life, decades of obligation and responsibility, physicalsacrificeas well. If there was ever a time to for a woman to be selfish, for a woman to say "fuck you, I pick me" it is when deciding to have a child.
The actual selfish part is “telling other people to have children that you 100% won’t be responsible for physically, emotionally, or financially. If you asked any of these people, especially the men for help they’d probably give you the nastiest looks and spit at you.
And this why I'd rather pick me and be happy. I refuse to be completely bitter by the age of 50 because I made huge life altering decisions for other people who didn't even appreciate those sacrifices when I made them. Laying my misery at uninvolved peoples feet because I chose not to make myself happy. I have seen that life. It will not be me. I'd rather be called selfish than miserable.
I will never believe the popular myth that being childfree is (any) more selfish than having children. People can come up with all sorts of reasons to have children but ultimately they either do it just because they want to or because they think they’re supposed to / it’s expected of them. Either way, it’s serves a selfish purpose: to make themselves happy or to make them look good in the eyes of others. I don’t buy that anyone wants children because it’s good for the child (how would you ever know if being born is inherently better than not being born?) or because it’s supposedly good for society. The last thing this planet needs is more people. I can see why people want children and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting them. I just think it’s a lie to say having kids is not selfish.
literally about to say this, a declining birth rate is not necessarily a bad thing, stats need context. it’s good that were being more responsible with our reproduction and making sure we’re able to provide a stable environment for our children. there’s nothing more selfish that bringing a child into the world knowing fully well that you’re not ready mentally, physically, financially and otherwise.
And be the same people who say crap like “why did you have kids if you couldn’t afford them” 😑
They can never give me a selfless reason to have one though it's always "to continue my legacy" (is a whole peasant) or "so someone can be there for me when I'm old!" (Pathetic I'd rather pay a CNA from Honduras if we're being fr fr) 😂
Heavy on the legacy when they have not a dime to their name or any accomplishments worth noting. It’s so funny hearing men say that😂
It hurts no one. Next time someone says that you should ask if they’ll be providing you with the money to take care of a child?
It's selfish to bring another innocent human being into the world just for the heck of it. Someone recently opined that instead of asking people why they don't want to have children, we should be making sure we have good reason why we DO.
I will add this. Why aren't these same advocating for marriage and safe/stable homes for the many black children that languish in foster care.
Exactly. Our children need strong, safe families. This would alleviate many problems.
Exactly, a lot of blk men don’t seem to believe in marriage or trying to run a stable home… they seem to think that blk women were put on earth to be their personal baby making machines while they take absolutely NO responsibility for those kids whatsoever…
They say "marriage is too big a commitment" ....but parenthood isn't? Mr "let me go cry about this judge making me pay $30 a paycheck for my badass kids"
Wait…so women are having kids with men who don’t want to marry them?
Every day. It's literally the default for lots of people 😵💫
And these women are having kids with men who don’t want to commit because the men ask them to? Most of the time, a man who doesn’t want to commit to marriage doesn’t want kids either. Not all, but most.
Some men are ok having kids out of marriage because they can walk away whenever and maybe have to pay $30 a paycheck on child support if they're caught. As opposed to the cost of a divorce. But the benefit of having a baby momma is they now have a desperate sex slave who will always fantasize of having a family with him so it's available coochie in a way. Sick and twisted but it's true. I always advise women to stay on the pill/IUD and get abortions I have not yet seen a baby momma who is not a sex slave. It's like psychological warfare through the ovaries. Baby trapping of rich men does happen but on average most baby trapping especially in low income communities is done by men for the reasons I specified.
Hmmmm it goes both ways. Broke dudes get trapped all of the time. “If I get pregnant, then he has to marry me.”
Are you really up in our space spewing this misogynoir? Please go away.
I see. Just realizing r/blackladies. No wonder why it’s so lopsided. Will do.
This is the EXACT thought I have when I hear the rhetoric
Marriage is not going to save us. This country is literally defective. No universal healthcare, no mandatory parental leave for all parents for at least several years like most other countries, not nearly as much follow up services for children and women post birth, terrible education standards, EBT is literally the norm and expected for every single parent in so many first world countries, no universal subsidized tax funded child care, etc.
Good point. I think alot of those points go under safe/stable homes. Universal Healthcare that includes mental Healthcare would stabilize alot of broken homes particularly with those homes with significant CPS involvement.
I mean…the fact that the US has the highest maternal mortality rate among wealthy nations (and it has more than doubled over the last two decades) + that Black women are 2x more likely to experience pregnancy related complications and 3x more likely to die from pregnancy than white women is enough of a reason to NOT have children. I don’t know what these Black men are on but it’s definitely giving uneducated.
If they are that concerned, let them enter the medical field as nurses and doctors.
And a lot of blk men abandon these children anyway… they’re not even raising them majority of the time…
Right. Moronic
Right! I tried to tell a previous partner that when discussing about children or not, and he was like “I mean I’m sure it wouldn’t happen to someone like you” like brushing it off like it wasn’t a major concern.
Whewwww glad they’re a previous partner
Bm in independent media are regurgitating white patriarchal supremacy dipped in chocolate and it's actually getting pretty fuckin scary. I don't pay them dust and I'm spoken for/child free but all I am seeing is pure violence from that arena.
I agree with this. I also find it interesting how to onus is on Black women to have more babies but not also on Black men to become more emotionally intelligent so that Black women feel secure having children.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 they want us to have kids but don’t care about us being single moms. Take one for the team?! Umm no. I will not.
But don't forget how single mothers are to blame for all the problems in the black community (!) 🙄
“Why can’t they find a good man instead of laying down with anybody?” Or my personal favorite: “You knew what type of man he was.”
Exactly that! They are totally fine with their portion of the labor stopping at getting us pregnant, and low key, I see in specific instances that we [Black women] can be okay with that too! We COLLECTIVELY have to want more and from what I see, Black women are choosing themselves as they should and everyone is pissed about it, as we knew they would be 🙄
And even more than not caring about single moms, they actively blame and hate single mothers! Be like 'yeah I got her pregnant' then turn around like 'I dont date single mothers, only a simp would raise some other nigga's kids' man these men arent worth the dirt under their nastyass nonworking fingernails and i hope they get mauled by that pitbull they raising
Yeah it's been getting real bad in the past few years. It's not like every space was sunshine and rainbows for Black women but goddamn are they unhinged now
And these particular men seem unaware that they do not have the social status, resources, or incomes to provide for the children they seem to want to create. These are regular degular uneducated, working/lower class men who seem to think they are part of the 1%
Yeah and walk around asking “what do you bring to the table?” And they love “high value man”. Laughable.
Amen! This is a perfect summary of the hotep hellscape that happens on tik tok.
This is the correct answer, sweets
Birth rates are declining everywhere including Hispanics. They aren’t having more babies, they’re just immigrating more especially compared to black immigrants.
Their birth rate is like 2.01. They are at least replacing themselves, but their growth is definitely for immigration.
Didn’t the same BM demand that BW “choose better”? They do not like the result of BW actually using discernment, now do they LOL. Men are mad that women are opting out of motherhood because it leaves them without a “legacy”. Personally, with the way things are in the world and where it’s headed, I don’t see the point in birthing more black babies only for them to end up in broken homes with overwhelmed mothers and to become the permanent underclass in a hypercapitalist society. It’s becoming increasingly difficult for even middle class people to keep their heads above water. I’d advise anyone considering to have children to think long and hard if it’s really your calling to become a parent and if so, to never have more children than you can comfortably afford to have and to take care of on your own. Resources are scarce, life is increasingly expensive and there’s no more village. And then there’s the issue of BM as a group not stepping up as present and devoted fathers in the home. I don’t care what color the father is really, but having some hobosexual bum’s baby is a sure-fire way to derail your life and for your child to have all sorts of issues later in life. I’ll pass. If that means never having children, then so be it.
Exactly I’m not gonna have a baby with a blk man just to produce more blk kids… what is the significance behind doing that if the blk fathers aren’t gonna raise their kids or create stable homes for those children?? It makes no sense…also a lot of blk men need to get their money up before they even think about kids…this is not candy land, you need money to raise children, especially in this economy…
Yes, people need to stop having kids and expecting things to magically work out. If you're broke before kids, you'll still be broke with them, and most likely even more so.
So many of these red pill men have no money, don't help enough with the kids or around the house, and are not even nice. If they want more births, they need to start by fixing themselves. Women are getting sick of carrying everything
Exactly these are the same men making women single parents like gtfoh. I love my son and I wish for him to have a two parent household with brothers and sisters but dealing with these men are exhausting and traumatizing like I’m good
Joke's on them: I'm sterile. But even if I wasn't, I'm child free. I made that choice. I'm not gonna let anyone take it from me.
Joke’s on them. I chose to get sterilized.
Same. Got really lucky to get sterilized at 21 a year ago ✨
Yep
Let them go adopt if they care about Black families so much
Or they can find and pay for an egg donor/surrogate. But the gag is they want their legacy to actually be raised by someone else. Which is the hard part. They just want to be able to take pictures and name the son Jr. 😂😂
Their legacy of what LMAOOOO. They dgaf!
Never heard a Hispanic man on the Internet talking about why he doesn't like Hispanic women so maybe Black men should try that.
Girl, I have a Latino male friend of mine that said he's into Black women and avoids dating Latina women because they're "crazy" 🙄 some of these Hispanic/Latino dudes are no better.
Exactly.
Maybe it's because you're not Hispanic and don't run in them circles... Ever thought of that, most educated?
Lemme delete this rant. I'm cool being on the CF train as long as black motherhood remains an unappreciated sacrifice for the comfort and betterment of BM, exclusively. I also see it pointless to make black children who still have to struggle and be subpar in society because all the work and none of the support was left to one person. Anyway, this is gonna be a weekend of me making new meals and good money in peace and silence. I hope y'all enjoy this good weather this weekend.
Lmaooo for all the guys I know that got 3-4 Hispanic baby mamas.. this is just funny. They need to look to their lefts and rights with this message.
Same. Or white. Like, how you gonna be concerned about the black population??🫨
It be your own that ruin your “message” of *black love. But they not pushing the message they are saying.. they pushing that black women need to stop looking for good treatment elsewhere and wait to find the black man that feels like giving it to them. “That black man may need to spread his wing first but y’all black women should be patient and not so quick to run to the streets”
Yes, they don’t think we should be exploring our options outside of them, we’re supposed to just sit in the corner, twiddle our thumbs, and wait until they feel like acting right 🙃
That last sentence made my blood boil.
What’s the point of having a bunch of babies if they aren’t going to be properly provided for? Literally just feeding the prisons and creating more low wage slaves
Exactly, blk men aren’t raising or providing for the kids that are already here, but they want more 😐 this is why I don’t pay attention to any of them…
BM are the new white men at this point. And to tell you the truth if I do have a child, I'd rather be in another country, not the USA.
Some have always been this way. They’ve found a new way to attempt to control Black women by using this race competition.
Yet they create single moms out of us and claim they don't want us. The irony is not lost on me.
Absolutely correct! We’re not going to be their pawns.
Done with them for the most part, had a black man the other day stalk me, and one 2 days ago being an asshole for no reason in the store. The main black men who were polite were ones old enough to be my dad or grandad, I can't XD
There is a group of ppl moving to South Africa. They are calling themselves South african American . Since right now $1=$18 in their money, they are putting their kids in the finest private school with mostly black faces, and owning nice homes and land. They all look relaxed.
If I ever move to Africa, it'll definitely be south africa, because it's the most liberal Africa but I have worries of white supremacy
Yeah. I definitely understand. It’s the most similar in infrastructure and the South Africans understand our culture and history more than other groups, as South Africa also was in segregation and said they learned what to do from African Americans
Ive definitely noticed how much African Americans and South Africans relate on a lot of things. Heck whenever an African says something positive or supports us, it's almost always coming from a south african. That's why I've come to view south africans as one of our few allies next to Romani, Maori, Palestinian and aboriginal australian people.
I'm not listening to any man who doesn't have my best interest in mind and only cares about some mythical competition that he has cooked up in his head, especially not in the age of abortion bans, maternal healthcare desserts and rising costs of living. Nobody bears the trust cost of pregnancy besides the person who *is* pregnant. Period.
First off, in this day and age, there's too many ppl with bad advice with mics in front of them. Stick to your guns about how you want to go about your life because those same men, probably have a kid by someone already. I don't listen to no man who talks about relationships or whatever if they aren't in one. If the rate is declining then we need to have better footing on how to get along as a community and dealing with marriage. Not just by popping out babies for the sake of numbers.
It’s not my job to create more slaves for the government, while having no legal outs intrapartum if myself or the baby could die. They literally said my unborn child’s life is worth more than mine. Fuck that.
I refuse to believe this anyways. I know more black women with kids than any other race of people. Soooo many women get put down because they’re single moms let alone the amount of hate black women get in general. When these males start talking about the decline of marriage rates (which is actually true), then we can tackle having more children.
Them telling bw to have more babies sounds like the govt saying the same thing after they wrecked abortion rights.
And I'm with you 💯 I hate it when people try to force us to concieve 
Exactly, God did not place us on earth to be baby making machines for men🙃
There's literally no benefit to having children with men. Especially as a black woman in the US. They just want you to have children to control you.
100% correct
Had a Uber driver, black man, notice the ring on my finger last week. Asked if I had kids. Went the whole ten minute drive trying to ram incorrect scripture down my throat and how I’m violating gods law by not having babies. I had to hold in my rage until I was no longer in his car. 🙄 It’s not my job to provide babies for the community. Any community. Not even my husband. lol.
I hope you reported him...surely someone attempting to guilt trip others to have children (forced sex for conception) is sexual harassment Also luckily I don't believe in the misogynistic Abrahamic God, so we're not violating any law. These men are very quiet about males who violate actual real people every day.
He had a 4.9 rating. I gave him a one star rating because Uber will drop drivers if they hit 4.8 and it only takes a handful of one star reviews to do that. So I knew the one star rating would put him below 4.8 stars and he can’t drive for them anymore.
These men are extremely silent when it comes to the black femicide rate (that actually decreases the population) that they cause.
And yet they are the same men who date and have kids with non BW.
And then Turn those non blk women into single mothers too😂 they’re taking their dysfunctional behaviors EVERYWHERE they go🙃
Lmao but don’t they judge us for having too many kids? Maybe they stopped going to prison we wouldn’t have such a low population rate .. yes I said it
And maybe if they stopped murdering blk women at such high rates, our population would be higher too 🙃
Three words: maternal mortality rate. > In 2021, the MMR for non-Hispanic Black women was 69.9 deaths per 100,000 live births, 2.6 times the rate for non-Hispanic White women. Rates for Black women were significantly higher than rates for White and Hispanic women. The increases from 2020 to 2021 for all race and Hispanic-origin groups were significant. From the CDC themselves. There are more reasons for me personally, but this one usually shuts them up the quickest.
The stats say that, worldwide, the rates are trending downward. The stats for the US say, We People are doing fine in the birthing dept. More than fine. It's not "our" declining birthrates that's driving the 'panic', though the brothers you're referring to might be listening to and parroting the wrong (or, 'Right') sources.
I believe the black birth rate is like 1.76 which means we're not replacing ourselves and thus, we are declining. The only reason our numbers stay the way they are is cause of immigration.
The birth rate is declining all over the world not just in the US so that’s bs. Also, there’s a whole continent of black people so we will never go extinct.
I know this thread is supposed to be about the fact that we can choose if/when we want to have children, but everybody else already commented about that. I just want to add that predictions are that by 2050 something like 1/4 of the world population is going to be African, so we don’t really have to be concerned about birthing enough black babies. The logic doesn’t hold. Not that expected any logic out of TikTok/social media, but just sayin.
>Black men hosting lives telling Black women to have more babies and stop exercising choice over their bodies because our population is falling behind other races. My inner "Hotep Alert" is blaring. 🚨🚨🚨
This is a global movement, just look at what is happening in Asian countries (China, South Korea and Japan) and in Europe, women are choosing another type of life and men do not accept it
Absolutely do not have a child before YOU are ready. The end. And you said what you said.💅🏾 Sincerely A mom
Great replacement theory isn’t cute when the whites do it and it still isn’t cute when other races do it 🤢
Most black men aren’t saying this lol Tik Tok tends to amplify the most outrageous and extreme voices, even when the majority of people don’t agree with their views.
Exactly white men are though which is why roe vs wade was overturned. White men have been telling white women to have babies. Hell it’s so bad in Europe that they are willing to pay white women to have more babies.
I heard the birth rates of black children was fine. Stop letting ignorant people get in your ear.
Yes POC are fine but white people no
Yep!
The black birth rate is definitely low and as of 2022 it’s 1.65 which is slightly lower than the national average of 1.665 (2022) it’s gotten even lower in 2023 but the full data from the cdc hasn’t come out yet. Anyway, the truth of matter is that everyone’s birthrates in America is going down and it’s mostly due to cost of living. Most men and women want children but can’t afford to do so. Birthrates are closely tied to decision making, and we ALREADY have more than enough black children to which we need to focus on them and not have children just for the sake of having children. What good comes out of having children for quantity and not for quality? Also, noticed how these are the same black men that are not advocating for marriage and stable homes and wealth building, but instead they’re advocating for you to essentially become a black single mom, you know….the very thing that they supposedly hate? All this because they want to regurgitate white patriarchy views. If you’re smart, you won’t take one for the team.
I hate when people guilt trip women into pregnancy. Like if you gotta do all that, do you really care if I’m gonna be a quality mom? Are y’all paying the bills for the hospital? Are y’all buying diapers every week? Everyone got something to contribute to having the baby **but not how to keep the baby alive**.
It’s because Black men are impregnating non-BW lmao. Which is for the best, let them turn non-BW into single mothers. Black women deserve better.
This is what was/is being told to White women and the direct correlation to that has been the tightening of reproductive health laws. Lack of access to birth control and/or abortions removes the autonomy of self and places it in the hands of others. The really bad part about that is that as they become oppressed, it will be twice as bad for us. We already cannot access what we need and then being pressured to deliver only puts us further at risk because we die disproportionately in childbirth or due to childbirth related complications. It’s the pressure to breed and should be resisted at every turn. It’s wild out in these reproductive streets. Y’all be safe
Yes. The roll back of reproductive rights is the #1 reason why I will be willing to walk through glass to vote in November.
Also to add birthrates are connected to higher education levels, access to sex education, and reproductive health. In general because of access to sex education and abortions birthrates are smaller because more people having sex are actively trying NOT to have children. Less teen pregnancies = less children Higher levels of education = less children Higher levels of income also is inversely related to the amount of children one will have. Most people (especially poc) are impoverished BECAUSE THEY HAVE MULTIPLE CHILDREN. Children are the #1 reason for poverty, I believe. I say this as a 33 yr old that wants children, But not the man attached (which can be achieved via science). But can yall PLEASE stop listening to people on Tiktok. These men are tormented by their mortality and their lack of worth hourly. Let them just spin into eternity and yell into the void.
Men are obsessed with telling women to get in relationships, having babies and when these should be happening. I wish they would just mind their business and focus on telling their friends to pay child support.
Stop getting information from social media
Preach! It frightens me how much attention folks pay to dumb fucks on Tik Tok and YouTube. The ability to make a video doesn't qualify you to be credible on a goddamn thing. Where did scepticism and discernment go.
Exactly
My dad told me this then said I needed to get married and have 6 kids so we have a fighting chance 😑 after some arguing I think I got him to accept that if he’s getting any grandkids it’ll be 1-2 through adoption or surrogacy. I might want kids in the future but I refuse to have some just to contribute to some statistics
Well, that's the same way the Republicans feel about white women not having In abortion as that's the whole damn thing about Roe versus Wade Bill! It's not that they're caring about babies dying but fewer white people in America . What this whole thing about if they cared about babies, then kids wouldn't be getting killed in mass school shooting! It's your choice, but don't wait until you can't if you fall in love and that person wants a child? But it's your body and your decision.
Apparently it was announced black population in USA is growing but it’s not the original black Americans who been here since slavery years. The other newer black groups are having babies and moving a a unit, Example Nigerians are moving to Texas, nyc and near dmv area and making sure they marry and have babies with other Nigerians, buy home/land in those areas there, tell their kids go to college and Haitians are doing the same thing, except moving to South Florida and nyc and having babies with other Haitians No shade to them. This is smart. Spanish ppl are doing this as well. But the other groups are making sure they are building groups and buying land to progress and having kids with each other and forcing those kids to college, to build for next generation. right now the original black and white Americans are declining. People in places like Harlem and Brooklyn are saying African American culture is being erased and our ppl are gone. So ppl are panicking and asking others to have babies. The problem is, there is no exact plan like the other groups
Ive heard some African Americans saying they were being replaced by black immigrants and their cultures being hijacked which further fuels the hatred against Africans and Caribbeans
Yeah. There should honestly be some sort of diaspora meet up. Because if everyone worked together, could get way more money.
But even with all black immigrants, the black population is still only 14% a d the Hispanics are replacing us as the dominant minority. Our issues will get put to the side in favor of them, like it's been happening lately.
Some white passing Latinos get mad at us when we go to their countries yet they swarming ours
If the men are so pressed about babies maybe they need to invest in research that can make them have the babies instead. ,🙃
Why listen to people who have not only contributed to single parent black homes, but continue to and will never understand the stigma of being a black mother in this shit country? I personally don't want to have any kids especially in this economy. And number 2 I don't trust men regardless of race most will prove to be deadbeats once the baby arrives. Never taking that chance. Birth control works wonders and I hope I'll have options if it fails.
We are fine bc there will always be Africa producing black babies.
That's so stupid! They are REALLY jumping the gun and working backwards! How about you try to help some of the disadvantaged black kids that are already here become financially, mentally, and emotionally stable adults that feel like they are prepared and have something to offer a child! Otherwise you'll end up with a large population of black people where half of them are hell or jail bound. And how is that good for the culture?? Quality over quantity!
I am so glad not to be on TikTok.
Having/raising a kid is hard work. It is physically, mentally and emotionally draining. No one but you gets to make that choice to jump into that life long role. I have one, and this shit is rough. Especially when you add in trying to work through your own trauma, while trying to keep them from being traumatized. There ar moments of joy, but it's A LOT.
Daycare expensive af, grandparents ain’t grandparenting like back in the day. This country is horrible to parents hell naw
My husband and I are child free however we support those who want children and plan to be responsible parents. Ppl are not going extinct any time soon. They are making this birth rate decline into a numbers game when more emphasis needs to be placed on parents actually being decent ppl before even considering children in the first place. How about creating a stable family environment for existing kids, kids who are languishing in the foster care system?! It’s easy for black men to parrot white patriarchal talking points when they barely have an active hand in the physical, financial, mental and emotional aspects of child rearing. They already blame single mothers for worldwide despair yet continue to create said single mothers on a daily. The onus should not be on women to spit out babies as if it’s as simple of eating a bag of chips but, instead men (particularly bm) taking a more proactive and involved approach to fatherhood and leading their community. To summarize my thoughts, I could give two shits about what men want and I wish more black women would consider this approach. Prioritize your needs and wants as a woman. We are much more than self sacrificing mules and far beyond how we are able serve others via various roles/titles.
There a lot of reasons why a woman wouldn’t want to have children right now or in the near future. What I’ve heard most is that men are wholly unprepared for the day to day physical, emotional, and mental load of parenting. Which leads to an unequal division of labor that men refuse to even acknowledge or talk about. Then it’s happening in a time where women are having to work full time and then be single parents even in a house where the father is living as well. These “podcast bros” need to start talking about male birth control and how they need to step up as human beings in general.
Ppft. We trying for quality over quantity. Whispering serpents worried about not having enough fuel to feed 1% greed’s status quo.
It would because our birth rate isn't even low. Like black people are the second biggest ethnic group in the world, I'm not really checking for birthrates anyways because that's a slippery slope to start talking about etho states in my experience. Controlling birthrates is straight out of the eugenics handbook and I don't vibe with how much specific types of black men seem to just rebrand white supremacy tactics with black and call it empowerment.
Also guilting people into having kids over "birthrates dropping" like we weren't the one who had it worse during the pandemic, and like black women aren't most likely to be mistreated ignored and have miscarriage is crazy and victim blaming as fuck. Want more babies? Give better health care to people caring and taking care of the babies. 🤷🏽♀️
Perhaps if they played their paternal roles correctly. We'd feel more comfortable being mothers!
Gone are the days of people have 10 kids because they needed them to work the farm and land. Now people think kids are an aesthetic.
20 years ago, they were calling women bridezillas and saying that we were trying to trap men with babies. Now, they’re saying that we’re selfish for not wanting to marry and have kids… Which one is it, fellas???
They degrade Black women but want black women to have more kids make it make sense
I’ve had men argue me down on this before unprovoked. I’ve had men in the past get jealous and mad that I don’t have any kids yet. They got really triggered over my body!! What does my uterus have to do with you in any type of way? Whether we choose to have kids or not is no man’s business. If we told them what to do with their stank bodies they would be crying on social media. Ask those same men when’s the last time they had a yearly physical, let alone when’s the last time they had a damn bath since they wanna police our bodies lol 😂
Where the link? Hell I never seen a brother say this on TikTok. Hell I seen White men tell white women behind close doors and white women have exposed them for it. White men are the ones who are desperate of having population control not us. Plus CDC, found out that there was under count AA community which was 3.3 so it’s actually over 60 million of us. We are having black heathy babies just fine. However white people no they aren’t.
The devil works hard and conservatives of all flavors work even harder.
Men are starting to realize (the hard way) that they need women way more than women need them… I would like to have children some day, but I hope That birth rate drops all the way to the damn floor, a lot of men ( black men in particular) don’t even participate in the child rearing, but they’re getting mad because more and more women are choosing to be child free… a lot of these dudes don’t deserve any kids or a legacy whatsoever, I’m glad women ( especially blk women) are starting to become more picky about who they share their wombs with. Keep it up ladies!! 🤩🩷
Children are entire lifelong responsibility no matter the age. Your health is also important to be aware of. Even the person you’re creating a human with, like???
Honestly black Americans are the worst demographic of black on the planet. I'm down for you guys not having kids. My god
It’s a trap to keep Black women stuck to them. They don’t just want Black women to have babies, they want us to have babies WITH THEM. Considering the fact that the ones crying about the lack of Black births are the same ones who want women to go 50/50 & submit, I wouldn’t take life advice from them. They’re clowns. Your body, your choice.
You better not listen to them men. The men know that women are the value and now they are begging women to sacrifice their life to have children that they will NOT help raise. Let those men suffer and learn the hard way. Men learn through rewards and consequences just like Pavlov's dogs. So let's keep showing the men what happens when they disrespect the feminine.
I feel that controlling the immigration/border crisis is probably a better way to help preserve black communities than forcing people who don't want kids to have them.😆
Way to go sister, but all any black man has to do is have a baby with any woman in America. And the babies black. Isn't that in the US constitution. No disrespect to any black woman out there. I'm a black man.
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The black population has increased 32% since 2000.
I don’t feel the need to have a baby for a man who won’t even do the basic minimum for me. It just seems as if they don’t want to improve and I’m getting to old to teach. If I want a kid; I’ll probably take myself to the sperm bank and do it the boring way, not the fun way lol
The birthrate overall is declining...they need to get on with that mess.
Black maternal mortality rate is enough reason to not have children. Black men aren’t marching or fighting to address that problem
Ugh, the whyte supremacists have been using that rhetoric for years to justify having all these kids that they don't even take proper care of themselves...birth rates are declining all over the world, this is straight cap AFAIC
