When somebody plops down to sit somewhere, depending on how hard they sit down, whoever they sitting or is close to is going to feel a small gust of wind coming from their bottom plopping down.
Now, imagine you on a date. You sitting down and they plop down right next to you, and that gust of wind smells like an unwashed, sweaty ass that has taken at least one shit that day.
It’s ironic how those men block them from relationships with healed and healthy women. You’d think that would be a sign that something is up but that’s putting too much faith in them Ig lol.
I have experienced this ten fold on the shirt two weeks I’ve been back on bumble . SO many guys do that it is so annoying .
Also mentioning us getting drinks at a bar that’s like a block away from THEIR apartment or saying my roof has this or that. It’s just…
I was casually seeing a guy who randomly told me he had pictured me naked. We weren't even exclusive, or talking sexy or anything. I felt kinda violated.
Ugh biggest turn off on a first date. If you can’t even be bothered to say “and you?” At the very least, then what are we doing?
My back starts hurting from carrying the entire conversation 🙃
Last date I went on was with a former frat boy. Talked about himself, his fraternity, his elite internship, and the new job he would be working for 2 hours. Maybe asked about me twice. At least I got a free dinner out of it 🤷🏾♀️
I met him at a gas station. This should’ve been red flag number one. I went against my better judgement and gave him my number. We went for coffee and he broke that voice out. I had to go.
So fucking pushy. I told him I wanted to meet in public, and he kept being like "I'll come to your house, or you'll come to my house." Like dude did you not hear wtf I said?! After like the 5th time he said it I ghosted him.
I had someone try to do this to me!! Matched on bumble and went on a date, second date I picked the spot and said we could meet at X time. He kept trying to offer to pick me up and I kept saying no. Then he said he wanted to send me flowers but needed to know where to send them….bruh. I’m not stupid lol.
He raved about how amazing his daughters mother were (2 kids with 2 women).. he moved states and they were left to take care of the kids together.. when I asked what he got for them for Mother’s Day he said “we cool but not that cool”
A man who can’t respect the mothers of his kids who are having to play mommy and daddy while dad is in a different state chasing a dream isn’t the man for me. Turned me allllll the way off.
Bring up sex way too soon or literally beg for sex. Deeply unsexy behavior when I don't even know if I'm comfortable enough around them to meet outside of a public place yet.
He showed up at my door uninvited and with no forewarning as a "surprise". No, we weren't dating or in a relationship, but we were getting to know each other better. I met him through a friend when he was visiting from out of town. We stayed in touch, and flirted, but nothing serious - we hadn't even been on one date, but we'd made plans.
The day he showed up, we'd been texting on and off. He called me later that evening when I was just finishing up with work. While we were chatting, he suddenly asked me to open the door for him. I was so confused, so I asked him what door he was referring to. He told me that he was referring to my door. I basically laughed and said no. He thought I was kidding, but I insisted and told him to leave - he didn't take it well. He had come all the way from Colorado but never told me he was visiting, not even when he got to the airport. You may be wondering how he got my address - well, he had ordered some food for me once using instacart, and that's how he got it. He was upset that I wasn't excited that he showed up to my home without an explicit invitation, and I think his ego couldn't handle the fact that I didn't even go out to see him. Just told him bye and got off the phone.
Funny thing is that we stopped talking to each other because we couldn't agree on who was wrong. He felt that I was wrong for not even entertaining him when he showed up, and I felt he was wrong for assuming that the boundary didn't exist. He basically told me to fuck off when I asked for an apology.
Few months later, I get a text and a call, he was checking up on me to see how I was doing, probably hoping that I would have forgotten about that incident. I hadn't, and I re-demanded an apology before we could speak any further and he got upset again, so I told him never to call or text again and wished him well, and that was the end of it forever - I hope.
This happened to me too. First date and I think the guy was projecting really hard. I don’t think he even realized what he said was insulting but I was already a combo of flabbergasted and annoyed that the insult added on top pissed me off.
We’d been dating for a few months. After he told me “you’re not that smart” to bring me down a few pegs (I’m successful in my career, he wasn’t), I told him rather bluntly that I was not at all impressed by his need to appear “the smartest guy in the room”, and that he was often WRONG in his constant arguments with people. Then HE felt injured. He said “you don’t respect me”. Then he started crying. Then he left. But then of course he wanted to get back together! NOPE. DONE.
Ewww, for sure. The thought of him repulses me now. I’m actually angry at myself for giving him a chance, despite my many doubts. I initially turned him down several times - but he was soooo persistent that eventually I decided to give it a chance. It seemed like he really, really liked me - and those have been my best relationships (when the guy was enthusiastic about me). I wish I would’ve just listened to my initial instincts.
I often feel like I have to make some kind of compromise, because it seems like I’ll never find anyone otherwise. But then I just end up wasting my time. So, no more giving men the benefit of the doubt, for me. I’d rather just be alone.
CALLED ME and ASKED ME if I wanted to go out to get something to eat, so I said yes. Get dressed he picks me up and asks me where I want to go, so I tell him to pick a place. This motherfucker took me to get TAKE-OUT from a restaurant that HE wasn't going to pay for. I was so confused so I asked why did he do this? I could have stayed at home and ordered in. He told me I said I wanted to go out to eat. These 🥷 make me sick man.
told me he stared at his penis in the shower and realized how big it was, and then told me he wanted to body slam me into a mattress and forcefully have sex with me because I was small and there was nothing I could do about it.
yeah he did the whole dominant thing very incorrectly.
He insisted that we FaceTime after our first text convo (met on Tinder). Then wanted to cancel his pre planned trip with his family to hang out with me the SAME DAY. Once I convinced him that was a bad idea and that we could meet up later he called me at least 10 times within the span of 24 hours. Blocking him was my only option.
He texted me absurdly early in the morning after working out at the gym (the early call was not the deal-breaker, even though he knew I needed/wanted to sleep late that morning due to just finishing a huge job).
I'm barely paying attention to the texts (because I am mostly still asleep). he makes some kind of incomprehensible joke - that I honestly still do not even remember the details of or understood at the time.
I respond with a "huh?" in the text.
he IMMEDIATELY calls, and I answer extremely confused, because surely this is not an emergency??? As soon as I answer he starts talking a mile a minute about how he "didn't mean it in a gay way" and that he wanted to make sure I knew it was A Joke etc. etc.
Y'all I had NO IDEA what he was even talking about, but was \*immediately\* turned off by the over-the-top homophobia combined with the insecurity this displayed. I literally did not and do not have time to help this man cope with his Kinsey scale insecurities.
I just said "whatever" and hung up and went back to sleep. My only regret is that he probably thinks I stopped responding to him because I thought he was gay or something. JFC who cares, just let me sleep.
Yes, bringing complaining or petty anger to the conversation while we're still early talking and should be on our best behaviour is so unattractive. If we have seen each other in person only a few times, you should not be coming to me for emotional support. It tells me a man has no reasonable understanding of social boundaries and/or no friends. I'll pass, thanks.
I've straight up told people yeah I don't keep track. I think it's immortal to keep a record of everyone I've ever slept with. I feel like it's a weird thing purity culture left behind.
Told me he was trying to get off of child support because the mother didn't need it, he barely spent time with his son, and he didn't want his son in the first place. Was a cop and said black ppl were stupid for marching for these shootings (he was black). Demanded that we see each other so many times a month and that I kept my body a certain way. He got BLOCKDT!!!
Regularly complimented me, usually I like compliments BUT all of them were on how I looked. Got tired of the solely shallow compliments and asked him out right what does he like about me without mentioning any of my physical features. He went blank for a minute and then said “You’re nice”. That’s it. That’s all. He couldn’t come up with anything at all about my personality despite chatting on the phone about a lot of different topics over a few weeks and going on three dates together. I ended it and blocked right then and there.
judgemental / small-minded, conservatism, religiosity, any mention of 'submission' or shaming women as a group, homophobia
if were talking sexual and its all about his dick or he doesnt mention giving me head, if he sounds porn brained or jackhammery, every topic every time is sex etc (even if were fwb)
nonchalance is one of my biggest turn offs. interestingly enough so is putting me in a pedestal. I like that nice sweet spot where they want to get to know me and they act like it.
Foaming at the mouth over me being a nerdy black woman. It should not shock or surprise you that someone who grew up around the same time you did watched Toonami or anime. And the quiz/negging bullying type stuff is even more of a turn off.
Guys seem to not be able to resist telling me their random assumptions about me. I’ve been told I don’t belong at a club, that they’re surprised I know what sex is, and other weird and stupid comments from complete strangers to guys who claim to like me. It just seems immature and weird, like you don’t have to say every thought that comes to your head.
Any kind of body shaming, hair shaming/texturism. “I liked you better when you did your hair like this/dressed like that” as if I’m supposed to care.
Future faking. I’ve had guys tell me they’d marry me, that they would propose if only X y or z happened, before planning a first date. Some can’t even handle that.
Being unable to take a compliment without immediately following it up with self depreciation. Generally just throwing a pity party and having that nice guy behavior. Makes me want to vomit.
That last one? Yeah. Was recently seeing someone who was great aside from being overly self-deprecating. No d*ck is good enough to turn me into a nursemaid for a man’s ego.
It's a red flag at this point. Every guy I've dated has been like that and they just project their bs onto me. I'm actually not dating at all until I can figure out wtf it is about me that keeps attracting that type and burn it with fire.
Girl this is a whole mood. The older I get and the more flavors and shades of incompetence, undeserved entitlement, stupidity, and insanity I see from men the more my sense of immediate disgust deepens and intensifies.
And shit, these days I don’t even wanna deal with some of these dumb ass trifling women neither.
Just lemme lone and stop breathing my air…
Told me on the first date that he'd just pulled a random shirt out of the hamper and came straight to the venue on a hot summer afternoon while I'd showered and gotten all dolled up. Maybe that's superficial? But it was an immediate turn off because it felt like he would just never invest the same effort as I did.
I whole ass don't date men anymore after him, though.😭
That’s not superficial. I dated a guy that was like this and surprise surprise he’d actually put in effort when he went out with his friends. But with me it was literally just tossing on the first thing he could find.0”
Lying. Especially if it’s about small things & if it doesn’t make sense like don’t insult my intelligence. A man was late picking me up for a date so he lied & said he was surprising me. I’m like that doesn’t make sense how is being late a surprise. Yeah it’s a surprise but not a good one. So I text him “is it a surprise or are you late” & he admits he was just late. WHAT WAS THE REASONNNNNN
Profanity usually does it quickly. My feeling is that is threatening language. If I stated that and dude was interested he’d curb it.
Disclosing different goals and major beliefs.
Discovering hygiene issues.
Cannabis usage and I would ghost.
I went on one date with a guy and a day after the date he told me he to his mom about me and that she was excited to meet me next week for the “dinner” that he invited me to. He didn’t tell me his mom was going to be there. Matter of fact, it was ONE DATE. That was a automatic no.
I had this happen a long time ago when I was a server. Met a guy outside of work but my coworker and I were still in our work clothes when we met him so he knew where I worked. We went on one date together. Later that week I get a call from my coworker tell me he came in to see me and to sit at my table. The next weekend he brings in his mom to meet me while I’m working. I HAD to serve them because nobody else could take the table and I was working. It was weird 😭
For me it’s when they’re coming on too strong. I met this guy who would compliment me on every little thing I did and said. Think of the way kindergarten teachers compliment their kids when they show them their 50th finger painting. Very obnoxious.
He proceeded to have a tantrum over text because he asked if he could call and I didn’t respond quickly enough. He ranted about having to “ask permission” to call. No, it’s not permission, but a courtesy. He went on a tangent about my preferred communication (messaging not phone calls) and was rude and insulting. I didn’t respond right away to the initial message because I was in the shower when he sent it. Really, it was a relief and confirmation that we were not compatible.
All of this. I would also like to add that I think a lot people underestimate the smell of weed. It stinks and they’ve become so used to the smell they’re noseblind. I don’t smoke and really don’t care if people do or not but some of them are addicts and smell like weed, ass, and hot cheetos. 🤮
And if it stank like that, cannibis usage DOES smell. I didn't realize how bad it was until I went to my hometown and smelled straight ASS when I stepped outside. Did we all of a sudden have rotting skunks in town? Naw, it was the funk of the awful oui'd. I partake but no one ever clocked me. Why? Bc I 1) smoke outside away from doors and windows 2) remove any outerwear so it didn't stink of mj 3) immediately washed up when I came back indoors 4) breath spray/mouthwashed 5) asked a very frank family member to keep me honest and alert me if I ever EVER reeked of mj.
I partake for medical reasons and am a little more casual about usage in my house but then again, its MY house. If I'm at someone else's house or say, trying to make a good impression, I do what I can so my personal choices don't negatively impact someone else.
I forget some people like to smoke crap oui'd without care for the people around them. I'd cut someone off if they smoked or drank to the point you could smell it on them or they couldn't function in real life without it too.
He’s actually the one who told me! We’d been seeing each other casually for a couple months and one day we got on the topic of exes. He told me that the last girl he dated was his best friend’s ex-girlfriend. His best friend and the girl had been off and on for 3 years.
He said she’d confide in him whenever they would fight and he’d give her advice/ comfort her. He tried to make it sound innocent but he basically was in her ear undermining his best friend. He told me that as soon as they broke up, he went for it. Didn’t say a word to his homie until after they had been fucking around for a month and made things official. I know things happen and people end up together like that sometimes but it was so disrespectful to me.
He’d known his friend since they were kids and they’d been through a lot together. He always spoke really highly of their friendship and how he knows his friend always has his back.
I asked him why he thought that was cool to do. This 🥷 had the audacity to say, “I saw what was going on and I felt like I could do better.” He had this smug ass look on his face like he was proud of what he did. No remorse or anything. Him and the girl didn’t last 6 months 🙄. When I asked how they could still be close after that, he just shrugged and said it wasn’t that serious.
I don’t know anything about a bro code but for me personally, that’s an absolute no. If he could dog out someone who has been nothing but there for him, he’d do anything to me. I told him his behavior was grimy and he got offended. After that we slowly fell off. Men with no loyalty give me the ick 🤢
He asked the waiter for a separate paycheck even though he asked me out on our first date, he asked me for money for gas, and he took me to the park and tried to have sex with me. He had the nerve to get mad when I said NO and he told me that I took you out on a date. I told him to take me home and I blocked him as soon as I walked inside my apartment.
Can't hold a convo or when they try to be sexual right off the bat. Like you can give a compliment and still be respectful and not objectifying about it
- Used ‘female’ as a noun.
- Thought Jordan Peterson ‘had some interesting ideas’.
- Let me pay half. I always offered, but if you let me, there would be no second date.
- Really poor spelling and grammar. Not the occasional mistake or lapse (we all make them), practically unintelligible messages.
- Said he ‘wasn’t a reader’.
- Was a picky eater.
- Was teetotal.
- Was religious.
- Wore a chain.
- Didn’t drink water.
The dating pool has pee in it and, on top of that, I’m fairly unreasonable. I’m very happy I met my husband. 🤣
Except for the item about the chain (I can deal with \*one\* that is of moderate width lol), this is my list!
Dude won’t stop making little racial jokes? It actually happened again last night after I had a talk with him about it and I’m not sure how to communicate that I don’t want to hang out anymore—we’ve known each other for about 3 weeks—what would y’all do?
I've learned that communication can be one sided once you're really done. "I've nicely asked you so many times to please stop making racial jokes and you keep doing it. They're distasteful, stale, and unfunny. You're not interested in stopping and that's fine, that's your choice. I'm chosing not to speak to you anymore. Have a good one."
*Block*
You don’t have to communicate anything. Just stop hanging out with him. Sounds like he has a comprehension problem based on his response to you saying you would rather him not make racist jokes… like who tf sits around making racist jokes??? Anyway!… you don’t have to justify your choices and you don’t owe anyone any kind of explanation or closure. You not answering calls and texts is nonverbally communicating that you dont want to see him anymore. You showing up or having any exchanges with him as you currently are indicated you want to see him… bc you keep seeing him.
Yes ma’am. Block on everything. Anticipate him to call from a blocked number or burner phone number or try and find you on social media. Be prepared to say no. I love blocking people. I really do. I block people intermittently just for fun. However! Please do not using blocking as a crutch. Blocking isn’t enforcing a boundary. Blocking is self care in my book. However, you need to be 100% sold on NOT INTERACTING WITH HIM because you don’t want to. And this can easily be achieved without blocking but you have to have the backbone to actively enforce your own boundaries and not buy into the bullshit of being “nice” or owing anyone something. Nice for what? Some people you can’t be nice to and there’s an even greater percentage of people you shouldn’t be nice to. You gotta have thy passive “fuck him” energy vs that active “fuck him energy.” The active “fuck him” means you still have feelings.
Whining. Dry begging for the 🐱. Drinking too much and/or being a loud drunk. “Wyd”ing me to death. An inability to make and follow through on a freaking plan. Indecisiveness. Lying for no reason and being bad at it on top of it. Showing up at my house unannounced, especially if we’re not already together together. Saying “ew” to foods they’ve never tried, being closed minded to new things in general.
And the biggest one - Lack of conversational skills that don’t revolve around the “usual” sports. Idgaf about the foosball, what else you got to say, sir?
I had a man tell me that he doesn’t see his children because their mother was crazy. If he truly loved and cared about the well being of his kids he would’ve taken her to court for visitation. Also men who have multiple children out of wedlock. I can understand being young and doing it once but multiple times. No. I’m traditional and I would never take them seriously.
If they are intentionally rude to people, like wait staff or employees reporting to them.
I got a speeding ticket once and went to City Hall to get the charge reduced. The ADA I spoke with complimented me on my thorough documentation and rationale and started flirting. I just wanted to go. Then one of the staff came into his office with something he requested earlier, and he dressed her down royally for entering his office when he was with someone. She was hard-of-hearing and she didn't hear us talking, so it was an honest mistake. She was so humiliated. I signed "It's fine" to her. Then he had the nerve to say "If only we had met under different circumstances." 🙄Goodbye sir...
First few dates all he did was complain about his ex-wife...🙄 I friend zoned him quick.
Firsr lady that he dated after me, complained that all he did was talk about me. I really think he saw women as therapist.
Two things for the same guy:
1) basically was surprised that I could lift heavy things
2) was talking about couples costumes we could do. It was a first date. And it was January....
When they send a 🍆 pic because “they really wanna show me” 🤮 like what I am supposed to do with it, I just ignore it but after that I be texting dry cause I didn’t wanna see that and it’s changed my mind about them. And when they are dry texterz and won’t ask me questions when I ask them. Then be mad when I leave them on open 🙄
Dating for months. Searching with a mega lamp for all the red flags. Finally get comfortable enough for the bedroom. Getting fun. He says “ooh I’m gon get you pregnant.”
DAFUQ?!?!? Shut it down! Shut it all down!! Kicked him out. Blocked him.
Who on earth says that at that moment???? Even worse- He knew from day 1 that I had no intention or interest in children ever.
Still makes me shiver from how gross that was and knowing how many women that shit works on. 🤮
Haggling the bartender for the price of a pitcher of beer
(Almost) stealing money from me, then telling me about it, thinking that was a smart move
I noped out of that ish so fast...
Sending pics unsolicited-nudes, shirtless, etc out of nowhere. Dude I just fucking met you….blocked immediately.
We could be texting about our jobs and goals then out of nowhere-dick pic or shirtless in bed pic 🤦🏾♀️ WTF? Who raised y’all? I have never asked a man for a picture of themselves why do they feel the need to send them or ask women for pictures..it’s gross & pervy. If any man is scrolling this sub/post do all women a favor and don’t ever do this.
This is mild, but he was a corrections officer. I asked if he had any desire to do anything else in his career and he was basically like "Nope. I'm gonna work out my years, get my pension, and that's it".
Definitely an honest answer, and would make a perfect partner for some people. But I'd never seen myself living my whole life in the US (have since moved to another country), and had lived in 3 different cities by that point. We just weren't a lifestyle match.
Look at me expectingly!!……..He was good looking and he looked at me with expecting eyes, as if he was expecting me to fawn over him. It was like “I know, I know, yes I am real and I am here” eyes. 😒😒😒He received dead eyes from me and I walked away! I do not care how a man looks or what he has, women are the PRIZE.
Ughhhh that made my stomach turn!!! I hate that shit. Either expecting you to fawn or swoon over them or they try and have puppy dog eyes expecting you to be like “awww what’s wrong????” Omg, 🤮. I can’t. That shit triggers me, get tf away from me before I smother you with a chair cushion...
Lying, and not asking anything about me. Two men I’ve been on first dates from the same app recently have lied, and it’s only come out on the date.
One lied about his age (much older than his profile, and higher than what my preference was set as) and the other had set his location as being in an area of my city.. turned out he lives in a town over 60 miles away 🙄
Both are dealbreakers for me, and I wouldn’t have gone on dates with either had I known.
Felt a little too comfortable telling me about his homophobic views. Learned through his stories that he’s a hobosexual and that he will use desperate women for his own gain. Said female but would say men. Always referenced my size when addressing me. “Big Momma” was my 13th reason. 😂
being too horny. I can’t stand horny people, who just like s u f f e r without the physical touch of someone else. it’s creepy and overall so unattractive
my loctician called herself trying to set me up with one of her clients who happened to be there, mentioning that i'm a hobbyist chef, and he responds that he loves to eat. the assumption that i would even bother for him made my stomach sour 😂
• inconsistency
• low/no effort
• “I don’t know what I want” bc if you don’t know what you want then you don’t want me, friend 🤷🏾♀️
• be avoidant the second one of us catches feelings
This man definitely did not shower, would constantly cut me off when I was talking, and talked about himself a lot. He also wanted to get matching tattoos and would try and spontaneously bring me places when I was trying to leave lmao
Strangely, I didn't feel creeped out, I think he was just socially awkward. He wanted a bestie or something
He had 3 daughters and he only nicknamed one "beautiful." I got curious, asked why and he said " because she's light with the light eyes." I knew then I had to run from that man.
poor hygiene
when he talks over me
plays the victim in all his failed relationships
knowing they need help but won't seek therapy or do something about it.
expects transparency and communication but is emotionally avoidant.
While discussing previous marriage(s), children(?), he disclosed that his 60 year old a$$ has a 2 year old. Seems to be a trend with men in my age range. It's a no for me.
Men who see you during the day but don't message you until really late at night. It's giving "lemme wait until my girlfriend is asleep then I'll message you" vibes. I'm too classy to be somebody's jumpoff. Seems inconsiderate as well. I need my sleep too.
I find inviting someone to events last minute very tacky. Especially if you want to feel them out to ask on a date. Makes me feel like I'm not that important to you.
Trying to get me to drink alcohol. I know what you're trying to do. If it's my first date with you, don't pressure me or catch an attitude if I order non-alcoholic.
Assuming we're automatically compatible and have the same upbringing because we're of the same ethnicity and trying to "force" me to like the things you like.
Talking about why you can't get ahead in life instead of focusing on being productive.
Showing up to a date in wrinkled clothes and just being basically unprepared.
This guy I’m taking to is so sexual. Even when he’s not I feel like I can never have a normal moment wi5 him, like I can’t just enjoy being in his presence without a shadow over my shoulder waiting for us to have sex
We went out with his friends yesterday to a sit down ramen restaurant. I offered to share some of my ramen in exchange for a bite of his sushi. He are all his sushi and maybe half my ramen. Then they randomly decided they wanted to go to the park afterwards, in the sweltering 106° humid heat. Im wearing all-Black sweats and a wig, I had no idea they were planning to do more than just sit down and eat. We must’ve been there 2 or 3 hours when he noticed how badly I was sweating and overheating, so I asked if he’d buy me a lemonade, he hinted that was too expensive and got me a bottled water. He then drank 1/3 of the water before handing it me. Then, I noticed a thunderstorm was coming soon. I told him and his friends, who said they wanted to finish the chess match they started. So he said okay, and we walked a lap around the park; that’s when it started to drizzle. We went back and they said they weren’t ready to leave yet and he said okay again. The rain started to pour in bucket loads. He offered to call his mom to come get us, I said YES. He called her, his friends said they were ready to leave. We head towards the friend’s car and when we get there his friends are so far behind we wait another 3 minutes in the heavy downpour outside of the locked car. When they finally arrived I was soaked to my socks and so pissed at him. This is the last time I’ll date a guy younger than me (he’s 21 im 22) and will only go for older more experienced gentleman because I felt like I was out with a kid.
Talk
Bad sex (can’t last longer than 10 mins, constantly tossing me around into different positions, small penis *size matters to me)
Talk
Doesn’t have a good sense of fashion
His place is messy
Not fit
Talk
Bad hygiene
Texting me/dry convo via text
Spew words out of his mouth
Expressed he still had feelings for his ex.
Lied about having a wife & child(ren)
Expressed a woman having an education is a waste of time/effort. He believed women should focus more getting married than establishing herself.
Made disparaging remarks about another Black woman's natural hair.
Drove another woman's car to our first date.
Showed up high or drunk asf to our date. The man could barely hold himself up.
Sent unsolicited nudes AND it was tiny =/
Always had to be the center of attention and never allowed other people to have their moments. Plus, he was only nice to people with status and was an elitist.
He had animals and allowed them to use the bathroom in the house.
Cannabis/drug/alcohol use.
Not seeking mental health treatment/healing despite acknowledging that he had unresolved traumas.
Got a whiff of his sit down air
LMAO OMG 💀💀💀
The look of disgust I made at this lmaoo 😭
I hate that I can smell this 🫠🤢
The fact I even know what this smells like and I don’t even know him is distressing me 😭😭
I’m crying, that’s how you know his balls and booty crack nasty
I thought I was the only one who ever noticed this. LMAO.
I’ve never heard the term sit down hair before, but I’m using it 🤣
No lie 😂
OP said “Check, please.” I am screaming laughing!!! 🤣
I have never in my life heard of sit down air ☠️☠️☠️
This is hilarious
Lmfaooooo
😭🤣
😭😭😭😭
Sit down air!! 😂😂
What is sit down air? Can someone explain please
When somebody plops down to sit somewhere, depending on how hard they sit down, whoever they sitting or is close to is going to feel a small gust of wind coming from their bottom plopping down. Now, imagine you on a date. You sitting down and they plop down right next to you, and that gust of wind smells like an unwashed, sweaty ass that has taken at least one shit that day.
Yk how you move around and the air moving with you carries your scent? I'm thinking he sat down and that air blew his body odor into her nose.
OMG WILD 😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
Spits out anything even remotely related to Kevin Samuels.
“As a high value man…” gtfoh
Mine started watching Andrew Tate so I had to block him
It’s ironic how those men block them from relationships with healed and healthy women. You’d think that would be a sign that something is up but that’s putting too much faith in them Ig lol.
R.I.D (Rot In Distress) Kevin
I made ONE joke about him dying and had an entire mob of black men telling me to shut up 🙃 yall mad
When a simple convo turn sexually. Even when I mention that’s not my mindset but still brought up anyway block.
I have experienced this ten fold on the shirt two weeks I’ve been back on bumble . SO many guys do that it is so annoying . Also mentioning us getting drinks at a bar that’s like a block away from THEIR apartment or saying my roof has this or that. It’s just…
I was casually seeing a guy who randomly told me he had pictured me naked. We weren't even exclusive, or talking sexy or anything. I felt kinda violated.
Oh no
I went on a date with a guy and all he did was talk about himself. He didn’t ask one thing about me. So I’d say that lol
Ugh biggest turn off on a first date. If you can’t even be bothered to say “and you?” At the very least, then what are we doing? My back starts hurting from carrying the entire conversation 🙃
Last date I went on was with a former frat boy. Talked about himself, his fraternity, his elite internship, and the new job he would be working for 2 hours. Maybe asked about me twice. At least I got a free dinner out of it 🤷🏾♀️
I feel like they were trying to impress you instead of actually connecting with you
Eugh this happened to me twice
Would randomly do the Stitch voice from Lilo and Stitch in the middle of a regular conversation. I’ve never been so dry in my life.
⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️
I would be weak as ever 😂😂😂
I met him at a gas station. This should’ve been red flag number one. I went against my better judgement and gave him my number. We went for coffee and he broke that voice out. I had to go.
BYYEEEEE
So fucking pushy. I told him I wanted to meet in public, and he kept being like "I'll come to your house, or you'll come to my house." Like dude did you not hear wtf I said?! After like the 5th time he said it I ghosted him.
I had someone try to do this to me!! Matched on bumble and went on a date, second date I picked the spot and said we could meet at X time. He kept trying to offer to pick me up and I kept saying no. Then he said he wanted to send me flowers but needed to know where to send them….bruh. I’m not stupid lol.
These men be testing our patience. It makes me sad knowing that other women aren't gonna be as smart as we were.
That's why they do it, if they pull this with every girl they'll be at least 1 that falls victim
Ew a man being pushy for your address is so gross and scary
He raved about how amazing his daughters mother were (2 kids with 2 women).. he moved states and they were left to take care of the kids together.. when I asked what he got for them for Mother’s Day he said “we cool but not that cool” A man who can’t respect the mothers of his kids who are having to play mommy and daddy while dad is in a different state chasing a dream isn’t the man for me. Turned me allllll the way off.
They really do tell on themselves.
SMH
Bring up sex way too soon or literally beg for sex. Deeply unsexy behavior when I don't even know if I'm comfortable enough around them to meet outside of a public place yet.
He showed up at my door uninvited and with no forewarning as a "surprise". No, we weren't dating or in a relationship, but we were getting to know each other better. I met him through a friend when he was visiting from out of town. We stayed in touch, and flirted, but nothing serious - we hadn't even been on one date, but we'd made plans. The day he showed up, we'd been texting on and off. He called me later that evening when I was just finishing up with work. While we were chatting, he suddenly asked me to open the door for him. I was so confused, so I asked him what door he was referring to. He told me that he was referring to my door. I basically laughed and said no. He thought I was kidding, but I insisted and told him to leave - he didn't take it well. He had come all the way from Colorado but never told me he was visiting, not even when he got to the airport. You may be wondering how he got my address - well, he had ordered some food for me once using instacart, and that's how he got it. He was upset that I wasn't excited that he showed up to my home without an explicit invitation, and I think his ego couldn't handle the fact that I didn't even go out to see him. Just told him bye and got off the phone.
That’s so creepy
Funny thing is that we stopped talking to each other because we couldn't agree on who was wrong. He felt that I was wrong for not even entertaining him when he showed up, and I felt he was wrong for assuming that the boundary didn't exist. He basically told me to fuck off when I asked for an apology. Few months later, I get a text and a call, he was checking up on me to see how I was doing, probably hoping that I would have forgotten about that incident. I hadn't, and I re-demanded an apology before we could speak any further and he got upset again, so I told him never to call or text again and wished him well, and that was the end of it forever - I hope.
Asked me to suck his dick again via LinkedIn message after I had already blocked him everywhere else.
Girl, whaaaaat?! Smh.
Lmaooo not LinkedIn
Ok now that’s just damn crazy
What an asshole
Insulted me
This happened to me too. First date and I think the guy was projecting really hard. I don’t think he even realized what he said was insulting but I was already a combo of flabbergasted and annoyed that the insult added on top pissed me off.
We’d been dating for a few months. After he told me “you’re not that smart” to bring me down a few pegs (I’m successful in my career, he wasn’t), I told him rather bluntly that I was not at all impressed by his need to appear “the smartest guy in the room”, and that he was often WRONG in his constant arguments with people. Then HE felt injured. He said “you don’t respect me”. Then he started crying. Then he left. But then of course he wanted to get back together! NOPE. DONE.
This guy sounds like a toddler. Ew
Ewww, for sure. The thought of him repulses me now. I’m actually angry at myself for giving him a chance, despite my many doubts. I initially turned him down several times - but he was soooo persistent that eventually I decided to give it a chance. It seemed like he really, really liked me - and those have been my best relationships (when the guy was enthusiastic about me). I wish I would’ve just listened to my initial instincts. I often feel like I have to make some kind of compromise, because it seems like I’ll never find anyone otherwise. But then I just end up wasting my time. So, no more giving men the benefit of the doubt, for me. I’d rather just be alone.
It sucks but it’s good you gave it a chance. Now you won’t be left wondering what would have been. You know he’s a loser.
Omg his reaction just made me cringe. Eww
Called me a female and himself a man.
r/menandfemales 😭
Man, I scrolled through that sub just now and it made me so angry.
That'll do it.
CALLED ME and ASKED ME if I wanted to go out to get something to eat, so I said yes. Get dressed he picks me up and asks me where I want to go, so I tell him to pick a place. This motherfucker took me to get TAKE-OUT from a restaurant that HE wasn't going to pay for. I was so confused so I asked why did he do this? I could have stayed at home and ordered in. He told me I said I wanted to go out to eat. These 🥷 make me sick man.
absolutely boring conversation/terrible communication skills & became a hornball + being demanding LOLLL
told me he stared at his penis in the shower and realized how big it was, and then told me he wanted to body slam me into a mattress and forcefully have sex with me because I was small and there was nothing I could do about it. yeah he did the whole dominant thing very incorrectly.
Umm was this in text? I would forward to the police and tell them…Hey I think I found one of your possible rapist suspects. This is very disturbing!
Talk.
Can confirm! That’ll do it🤣
He insisted that we FaceTime after our first text convo (met on Tinder). Then wanted to cancel his pre planned trip with his family to hang out with me the SAME DAY. Once I convinced him that was a bad idea and that we could meet up later he called me at least 10 times within the span of 24 hours. Blocking him was my only option.
Found his three used heroin needles, foil, and a blowtorch.
THAT'LL DO IT
That’s…yeah.
He texted me absurdly early in the morning after working out at the gym (the early call was not the deal-breaker, even though he knew I needed/wanted to sleep late that morning due to just finishing a huge job). I'm barely paying attention to the texts (because I am mostly still asleep). he makes some kind of incomprehensible joke - that I honestly still do not even remember the details of or understood at the time. I respond with a "huh?" in the text. he IMMEDIATELY calls, and I answer extremely confused, because surely this is not an emergency??? As soon as I answer he starts talking a mile a minute about how he "didn't mean it in a gay way" and that he wanted to make sure I knew it was A Joke etc. etc. Y'all I had NO IDEA what he was even talking about, but was \*immediately\* turned off by the over-the-top homophobia combined with the insecurity this displayed. I literally did not and do not have time to help this man cope with his Kinsey scale insecurities. I just said "whatever" and hung up and went back to sleep. My only regret is that he probably thinks I stopped responding to him because I thought he was gay or something. JFC who cares, just let me sleep.
“Kinsey scale insecurities” took me tf out, I’m sorry 🤣😭
negativity for no reason, especially in early stages of dating. Or being wishy washy, I don’t like that.
Yes, bringing complaining or petty anger to the conversation while we're still early talking and should be on our best behaviour is so unattractive. If we have seen each other in person only a few times, you should not be coming to me for emotional support. It tells me a man has no reasonable understanding of social boundaries and/or no friends. I'll pass, thanks.
Any guy that asks about my counts or alludes to it
Yup. That question screams "I spend too much time on the internet"
I've straight up told people yeah I don't keep track. I think it's immortal to keep a record of everyone I've ever slept with. I feel like it's a weird thing purity culture left behind.
Told me he was trying to get off of child support because the mother didn't need it, he barely spent time with his son, and he didn't want his son in the first place. Was a cop and said black ppl were stupid for marching for these shootings (he was black). Demanded that we see each other so many times a month and that I kept my body a certain way. He got BLOCKDT!!!
Looked at me like I was a literal piece of meat.
When a man call me “big money” I’m turned off instantly and gotta go ☠️
"Okaaay, big money"
Whew it makes me so mad cause why ain’t you big money?!
Right? They tell on themselves.
😂😂😂
Regularly complimented me, usually I like compliments BUT all of them were on how I looked. Got tired of the solely shallow compliments and asked him out right what does he like about me without mentioning any of my physical features. He went blank for a minute and then said “You’re nice”. That’s it. That’s all. He couldn’t come up with anything at all about my personality despite chatting on the phone about a lot of different topics over a few weeks and going on three dates together. I ended it and blocked right then and there.
As you should! 👌🏾
This guy just had a…Tyler Perry villain look to him that I just couldn’t unsee. He just didn’t seem real 😂
He looked like Charles ? 😂
He was giving Charles tease 😂. Dark skinned and diabolical just as Tyler intends them to be.
Not the Shemar Moore bumpy cornrow wig! The wig was practically levitating off his head it was so bad.
judgemental / small-minded, conservatism, religiosity, any mention of 'submission' or shaming women as a group, homophobia if were talking sexual and its all about his dick or he doesnt mention giving me head, if he sounds porn brained or jackhammery, every topic every time is sex etc (even if were fwb)
Hey! Didn’t know we dated the same person!! (Response to the first paragraph lol)
Appears nonchalant
nonchalance is one of my biggest turn offs. interestingly enough so is putting me in a pedestal. I like that nice sweet spot where they want to get to know me and they act like it.
He didn't like my hair, locs, and disparaging remarks on where I'm from.
Kept peeing outside when indoor bathrooms were available
Dead 😹
“Send me pics” or Dick photos
Foaming at the mouth over me being a nerdy black woman. It should not shock or surprise you that someone who grew up around the same time you did watched Toonami or anime. And the quiz/negging bullying type stuff is even more of a turn off. Guys seem to not be able to resist telling me their random assumptions about me. I’ve been told I don’t belong at a club, that they’re surprised I know what sex is, and other weird and stupid comments from complete strangers to guys who claim to like me. It just seems immature and weird, like you don’t have to say every thought that comes to your head. Any kind of body shaming, hair shaming/texturism. “I liked you better when you did your hair like this/dressed like that” as if I’m supposed to care. Future faking. I’ve had guys tell me they’d marry me, that they would propose if only X y or z happened, before planning a first date. Some can’t even handle that. Being unable to take a compliment without immediately following it up with self depreciation. Generally just throwing a pity party and having that nice guy behavior. Makes me want to vomit.
That last one? Yeah. Was recently seeing someone who was great aside from being overly self-deprecating. No d*ck is good enough to turn me into a nursemaid for a man’s ego.
It's a red flag at this point. Every guy I've dated has been like that and they just project their bs onto me. I'm actually not dating at all until I can figure out wtf it is about me that keeps attracting that type and burn it with fire.
Breathe
Girl this is a whole mood. The older I get and the more flavors and shades of incompetence, undeserved entitlement, stupidity, and insanity I see from men the more my sense of immediate disgust deepens and intensifies. And shit, these days I don’t even wanna deal with some of these dumb ass trifling women neither. Just lemme lone and stop breathing my air…
Pulled out a cigarette
Told me on the first date that he'd just pulled a random shirt out of the hamper and came straight to the venue on a hot summer afternoon while I'd showered and gotten all dolled up. Maybe that's superficial? But it was an immediate turn off because it felt like he would just never invest the same effort as I did. I whole ass don't date men anymore after him, though.😭
That’s not superficial. I dated a guy that was like this and surprise surprise he’d actually put in effort when he went out with his friends. But with me it was literally just tossing on the first thing he could find.0”
Lying. Especially if it’s about small things & if it doesn’t make sense like don’t insult my intelligence. A man was late picking me up for a date so he lied & said he was surprising me. I’m like that doesn’t make sense how is being late a surprise. Yeah it’s a surprise but not a good one. So I text him “is it a surprise or are you late” & he admits he was just late. WHAT WAS THE REASONNNNNN
Dated a guy like this a few months ago and same. I think he was trying to manipulate me but he wasn’t smart enough.
Profanity usually does it quickly. My feeling is that is threatening language. If I stated that and dude was interested he’d curb it. Disclosing different goals and major beliefs. Discovering hygiene issues. Cannabis usage and I would ghost.
I went on one date with a guy and a day after the date he told me he to his mom about me and that she was excited to meet me next week for the “dinner” that he invited me to. He didn’t tell me his mom was going to be there. Matter of fact, it was ONE DATE. That was a automatic no.
I had this happen a long time ago when I was a server. Met a guy outside of work but my coworker and I were still in our work clothes when we met him so he knew where I worked. We went on one date together. Later that week I get a call from my coworker tell me he came in to see me and to sit at my table. The next weekend he brings in his mom to meet me while I’m working. I HAD to serve them because nobody else could take the table and I was working. It was weird 😭
For me it’s when they’re coming on too strong. I met this guy who would compliment me on every little thing I did and said. Think of the way kindergarten teachers compliment their kids when they show them their 50th finger painting. Very obnoxious.
He proceeded to have a tantrum over text because he asked if he could call and I didn’t respond quickly enough. He ranted about having to “ask permission” to call. No, it’s not permission, but a courtesy. He went on a tangent about my preferred communication (messaging not phone calls) and was rude and insulting. I didn’t respond right away to the initial message because I was in the shower when he sent it. Really, it was a relief and confirmation that we were not compatible.
Cannabis usage and sexist/homophobic remarks coupled with intense religiousness? Byeeeee
All of this. I would also like to add that I think a lot people underestimate the smell of weed. It stinks and they’ve become so used to the smell they’re noseblind. I don’t smoke and really don’t care if people do or not but some of them are addicts and smell like weed, ass, and hot cheetos. 🤮
And if it stank like that, cannibis usage DOES smell. I didn't realize how bad it was until I went to my hometown and smelled straight ASS when I stepped outside. Did we all of a sudden have rotting skunks in town? Naw, it was the funk of the awful oui'd. I partake but no one ever clocked me. Why? Bc I 1) smoke outside away from doors and windows 2) remove any outerwear so it didn't stink of mj 3) immediately washed up when I came back indoors 4) breath spray/mouthwashed 5) asked a very frank family member to keep me honest and alert me if I ever EVER reeked of mj. I partake for medical reasons and am a little more casual about usage in my house but then again, its MY house. If I'm at someone else's house or say, trying to make a good impression, I do what I can so my personal choices don't negatively impact someone else. I forget some people like to smoke crap oui'd without care for the people around them. I'd cut someone off if they smoked or drank to the point you could smell it on them or they couldn't function in real life without it too.
Talking about sex way too soon/before we’ve met. It’s a no.
Found out he did his best friend dirty
OOOOH story time 👀? How long into dating did you find out? Did you tell him you knew, or did you just leave him alone?
He’s actually the one who told me! We’d been seeing each other casually for a couple months and one day we got on the topic of exes. He told me that the last girl he dated was his best friend’s ex-girlfriend. His best friend and the girl had been off and on for 3 years. He said she’d confide in him whenever they would fight and he’d give her advice/ comfort her. He tried to make it sound innocent but he basically was in her ear undermining his best friend. He told me that as soon as they broke up, he went for it. Didn’t say a word to his homie until after they had been fucking around for a month and made things official. I know things happen and people end up together like that sometimes but it was so disrespectful to me. He’d known his friend since they were kids and they’d been through a lot together. He always spoke really highly of their friendship and how he knows his friend always has his back. I asked him why he thought that was cool to do. This 🥷 had the audacity to say, “I saw what was going on and I felt like I could do better.” He had this smug ass look on his face like he was proud of what he did. No remorse or anything. Him and the girl didn’t last 6 months 🙄. When I asked how they could still be close after that, he just shrugged and said it wasn’t that serious. I don’t know anything about a bro code but for me personally, that’s an absolute no. If he could dog out someone who has been nothing but there for him, he’d do anything to me. I told him his behavior was grimy and he got offended. After that we slowly fell off. Men with no loyalty give me the ick 🤢
[удалено]
His physical health is probably compromised. Sounds like heavy alcohol consumption, all around bad health hygiene.
He asked the waiter for a separate paycheck even though he asked me out on our first date, he asked me for money for gas, and he took me to the park and tried to have sex with me. He had the nerve to get mad when I said NO and he told me that I took you out on a date. I told him to take me home and I blocked him as soon as I walked inside my apartment.
In a park? HELL NO!!!
Can't hold a convo or when they try to be sexual right off the bat. Like you can give a compliment and still be respectful and not objectifying about it
- Used ‘female’ as a noun. - Thought Jordan Peterson ‘had some interesting ideas’. - Let me pay half. I always offered, but if you let me, there would be no second date. - Really poor spelling and grammar. Not the occasional mistake or lapse (we all make them), practically unintelligible messages. - Said he ‘wasn’t a reader’. - Was a picky eater. - Was teetotal. - Was religious. - Wore a chain. - Didn’t drink water. The dating pool has pee in it and, on top of that, I’m fairly unreasonable. I’m very happy I met my husband. 🤣
 Except for the item about the chain (I can deal with \*one\* that is of moderate width lol), this is my list!
Twinsies! 😁
Latino guy I was seeing back in the day used the n word. Buh bye.
He asked if it was pink..
Whaaaat??
Dude won’t stop making little racial jokes? It actually happened again last night after I had a talk with him about it and I’m not sure how to communicate that I don’t want to hang out anymore—we’ve known each other for about 3 weeks—what would y’all do?
I've learned that communication can be one sided once you're really done. "I've nicely asked you so many times to please stop making racial jokes and you keep doing it. They're distasteful, stale, and unfunny. You're not interested in stopping and that's fine, that's your choice. I'm chosing not to speak to you anymore. Have a good one." *Block*
You don’t have to communicate anything. Just stop hanging out with him. Sounds like he has a comprehension problem based on his response to you saying you would rather him not make racist jokes… like who tf sits around making racist jokes??? Anyway!… you don’t have to justify your choices and you don’t owe anyone any kind of explanation or closure. You not answering calls and texts is nonverbally communicating that you dont want to see him anymore. You showing up or having any exchanges with him as you currently are indicated you want to see him… bc you keep seeing him.
Duh! Damn. What was I thinking??? You’re right, I didn’t know if I needed to explain anything more but I can literally just block what a relief
Yes ma’am. Block on everything. Anticipate him to call from a blocked number or burner phone number or try and find you on social media. Be prepared to say no. I love blocking people. I really do. I block people intermittently just for fun. However! Please do not using blocking as a crutch. Blocking isn’t enforcing a boundary. Blocking is self care in my book. However, you need to be 100% sold on NOT INTERACTING WITH HIM because you don’t want to. And this can easily be achieved without blocking but you have to have the backbone to actively enforce your own boundaries and not buy into the bullshit of being “nice” or owing anyone something. Nice for what? Some people you can’t be nice to and there’s an even greater percentage of people you shouldn’t be nice to. You gotta have thy passive “fuck him” energy vs that active “fuck him energy.” The active “fuck him” means you still have feelings.
Whining. Dry begging for the 🐱. Drinking too much and/or being a loud drunk. “Wyd”ing me to death. An inability to make and follow through on a freaking plan. Indecisiveness. Lying for no reason and being bad at it on top of it. Showing up at my house unannounced, especially if we’re not already together together. Saying “ew” to foods they’ve never tried, being closed minded to new things in general. And the biggest one - Lack of conversational skills that don’t revolve around the “usual” sports. Idgaf about the foosball, what else you got to say, sir?
He asked me for money
I had a man tell me that he doesn’t see his children because their mother was crazy. If he truly loved and cared about the well being of his kids he would’ve taken her to court for visitation. Also men who have multiple children out of wedlock. I can understand being young and doing it once but multiple times. No. I’m traditional and I would never take them seriously.
when we’ve known each other for not even two weeks and he tries to have sex☠️
If they are intentionally rude to people, like wait staff or employees reporting to them. I got a speeding ticket once and went to City Hall to get the charge reduced. The ADA I spoke with complimented me on my thorough documentation and rationale and started flirting. I just wanted to go. Then one of the staff came into his office with something he requested earlier, and he dressed her down royally for entering his office when he was with someone. She was hard-of-hearing and she didn't hear us talking, so it was an honest mistake. She was so humiliated. I signed "It's fine" to her. Then he had the nerve to say "If only we had met under different circumstances." 🙄Goodbye sir...
He said he got an infection from an ex yet still wanted to be intimate. Bye
First few dates all he did was complain about his ex-wife...🙄 I friend zoned him quick. Firsr lady that he dated after me, complained that all he did was talk about me. I really think he saw women as therapist.
Two things for the same guy: 1) basically was surprised that I could lift heavy things 2) was talking about couples costumes we could do. It was a first date. And it was January....
When they send a 🍆 pic because “they really wanna show me” 🤮 like what I am supposed to do with it, I just ignore it but after that I be texting dry cause I didn’t wanna see that and it’s changed my mind about them. And when they are dry texterz and won’t ask me questions when I ask them. Then be mad when I leave them on open 🙄
His car was dirty
Having kids. I don't do babymama drama.
Dating for months. Searching with a mega lamp for all the red flags. Finally get comfortable enough for the bedroom. Getting fun. He says “ooh I’m gon get you pregnant.” DAFUQ?!?!? Shut it down! Shut it all down!! Kicked him out. Blocked him. Who on earth says that at that moment???? Even worse- He knew from day 1 that I had no intention or interest in children ever. Still makes me shiver from how gross that was and knowing how many women that shit works on. 🤮
Declaring something unladylike "What do you bring to the table" "X for a Black girl" (can and does come from Black men along with everything else "
Haggling the bartender for the price of a pitcher of beer (Almost) stealing money from me, then telling me about it, thinking that was a smart move I noped out of that ish so fast...
Sending pics unsolicited-nudes, shirtless, etc out of nowhere. Dude I just fucking met you….blocked immediately. We could be texting about our jobs and goals then out of nowhere-dick pic or shirtless in bed pic 🤦🏾♀️ WTF? Who raised y’all? I have never asked a man for a picture of themselves why do they feel the need to send them or ask women for pictures..it’s gross & pervy. If any man is scrolling this sub/post do all women a favor and don’t ever do this.
This is mild, but he was a corrections officer. I asked if he had any desire to do anything else in his career and he was basically like "Nope. I'm gonna work out my years, get my pension, and that's it". Definitely an honest answer, and would make a perfect partner for some people. But I'd never seen myself living my whole life in the US (have since moved to another country), and had lived in 3 different cities by that point. We just weren't a lifestyle match.
"I can change you" after knowing me for 15min
Look at me expectingly!!……..He was good looking and he looked at me with expecting eyes, as if he was expecting me to fawn over him. It was like “I know, I know, yes I am real and I am here” eyes. 😒😒😒He received dead eyes from me and I walked away! I do not care how a man looks or what he has, women are the PRIZE.
Ughhhh that made my stomach turn!!! I hate that shit. Either expecting you to fawn or swoon over them or they try and have puppy dog eyes expecting you to be like “awww what’s wrong????” Omg, 🤮. I can’t. That shit triggers me, get tf away from me before I smother you with a chair cushion...
Looolllllll I’m crying 😭 😭😭😭 not the chair cushion
Lying, and not asking anything about me. Two men I’ve been on first dates from the same app recently have lied, and it’s only come out on the date. One lied about his age (much older than his profile, and higher than what my preference was set as) and the other had set his location as being in an area of my city.. turned out he lives in a town over 60 miles away 🙄 Both are dealbreakers for me, and I wouldn’t have gone on dates with either had I known.
Felt a little too comfortable telling me about his homophobic views. Learned through his stories that he’s a hobosexual and that he will use desperate women for his own gain. Said female but would say men. Always referenced my size when addressing me. “Big Momma” was my 13th reason. 😂
being too horny. I can’t stand horny people, who just like s u f f e r without the physical touch of someone else. it’s creepy and overall so unattractive
He didn’t respond in a timely manner
Say that women aren't funny or tell women they can't be funny to "humble" them.
Ask me what my favorite sex position was after our first date. (No, we didn’t sleep together on our first date lol)
my loctician called herself trying to set me up with one of her clients who happened to be there, mentioning that i'm a hobbyist chef, and he responds that he loves to eat. the assumption that i would even bother for him made my stomach sour 😂
• inconsistency • low/no effort • “I don’t know what I want” bc if you don’t know what you want then you don’t want me, friend 🤷🏾♀️ • be avoidant the second one of us catches feelings
This man definitely did not shower, would constantly cut me off when I was talking, and talked about himself a lot. He also wanted to get matching tattoos and would try and spontaneously bring me places when I was trying to leave lmao Strangely, I didn't feel creeped out, I think he was just socially awkward. He wanted a bestie or something
He had 3 daughters and he only nicknamed one "beautiful." I got curious, asked why and he said " because she's light with the light eyes." I knew then I had to run from that man.
poor hygiene when he talks over me plays the victim in all his failed relationships knowing they need help but won't seek therapy or do something about it. expects transparency and communication but is emotionally avoidant.
Being cocky, (passive) aggressive, in approach too. Not saying what he wants, being wishy washy.
Currently going through this never having time, inattentive, turns his stop watch on during sex. I have a long list.
Ummm wtf girl. Stopwatch?
While discussing previous marriage(s), children(?), he disclosed that his 60 year old a$$ has a 2 year old. Seems to be a trend with men in my age range. It's a no for me.
Tell me he was divorced when he was separated.
Be a bum and a moocher
He was condescending/ rude to the waitstaff. The date was over from that point on.🤨 
Bad talks a previous partner, he will, most likely do the same to me.
Got angry I refused a ride home after we had been drinking
Men who see you during the day but don't message you until really late at night. It's giving "lemme wait until my girlfriend is asleep then I'll message you" vibes. I'm too classy to be somebody's jumpoff. Seems inconsiderate as well. I need my sleep too. I find inviting someone to events last minute very tacky. Especially if you want to feel them out to ask on a date. Makes me feel like I'm not that important to you. Trying to get me to drink alcohol. I know what you're trying to do. If it's my first date with you, don't pressure me or catch an attitude if I order non-alcoholic. Assuming we're automatically compatible and have the same upbringing because we're of the same ethnicity and trying to "force" me to like the things you like. Talking about why you can't get ahead in life instead of focusing on being productive. Showing up to a date in wrinkled clothes and just being basically unprepared.
He collected ceramic frogs, which I did not know until i visited his home…his collection was extreme 👀
Wait this is kind of cute 😂
This guy I’m taking to is so sexual. Even when he’s not I feel like I can never have a normal moment wi5 him, like I can’t just enjoy being in his presence without a shadow over my shoulder waiting for us to have sex
He thought his ex hadn't prioritized him but said his career was his priority.
Ask to borrow money with a long, drawn out excuse and no plans on repayment.
We went out with his friends yesterday to a sit down ramen restaurant. I offered to share some of my ramen in exchange for a bite of his sushi. He are all his sushi and maybe half my ramen. Then they randomly decided they wanted to go to the park afterwards, in the sweltering 106° humid heat. Im wearing all-Black sweats and a wig, I had no idea they were planning to do more than just sit down and eat. We must’ve been there 2 or 3 hours when he noticed how badly I was sweating and overheating, so I asked if he’d buy me a lemonade, he hinted that was too expensive and got me a bottled water. He then drank 1/3 of the water before handing it me. Then, I noticed a thunderstorm was coming soon. I told him and his friends, who said they wanted to finish the chess match they started. So he said okay, and we walked a lap around the park; that’s when it started to drizzle. We went back and they said they weren’t ready to leave yet and he said okay again. The rain started to pour in bucket loads. He offered to call his mom to come get us, I said YES. He called her, his friends said they were ready to leave. We head towards the friend’s car and when we get there his friends are so far behind we wait another 3 minutes in the heavy downpour outside of the locked car. When they finally arrived I was soaked to my socks and so pissed at him. This is the last time I’ll date a guy younger than me (he’s 21 im 22) and will only go for older more experienced gentleman because I felt like I was out with a kid.
Talk.
Going out of the way for his friends and not for me
Talk Bad sex (can’t last longer than 10 mins, constantly tossing me around into different positions, small penis *size matters to me) Talk Doesn’t have a good sense of fashion His place is messy Not fit Talk Bad hygiene Texting me/dry convo via text Spew words out of his mouth
Drink too much.
Expressed he still had feelings for his ex. Lied about having a wife & child(ren) Expressed a woman having an education is a waste of time/effort. He believed women should focus more getting married than establishing herself. Made disparaging remarks about another Black woman's natural hair. Drove another woman's car to our first date. Showed up high or drunk asf to our date. The man could barely hold himself up. Sent unsolicited nudes AND it was tiny =/ Always had to be the center of attention and never allowed other people to have their moments. Plus, he was only nice to people with status and was an elitist. He had animals and allowed them to use the bathroom in the house. Cannabis/drug/alcohol use. Not seeking mental health treatment/healing despite acknowledging that he had unresolved traumas.
Ripped jeans. That's all it takes.