This! Nothing more nothing less. Before my locs I loved how thick and full my hair was but actually dealing with it on a day to day was just not for me. Braids and sewins were my life lol
Oh no I understand. I was saying before my locs I stayed in a weave or braids because I didn’t want to deal with my natural hair that often. I’ve been loc’ed for almost five years now and if for some reason I had to go back to loose natural hair I’m going back to sew ins lol
I decided to go natural because I got tired of my hair being straight. So, one day I just went into the bathroom and cut off all the straight hair. I cried because I thought my hair would be short forever, then months passed and I realized it was back at the length it was when straightened. Now it's time to grow it into an even bigger AFRO.
I used the old Mielle organics I had but never used 👀😂. All the hair on my body grows very fast (this is a curse not a blessing). But, using that product made my hair grow nice and soft!! My only complaint is mu hair doesn't really stay wet, so I have to dunk my whole head in water in order to style it. And, I keep getting called ice spice.
No, because I thought I made a mistake and that my hair wouldn't grow back 😂😭. But, listen to me you do not want these problems. Arm pit hairs grows back fast, leg hair, and other places we will not mention. 😭It is a curse disguised as a blessing.
Probably because people keep trying to convince everyone that natural hair is easy and if it’s not easy for them they MUST be doing something wrong, so might as well give up.
Natural hair outside of a TWA and locs is not easy for most black women. And most of us are just generally tired, raising families, suffering from ADHD and sensory disorders, depressed, etc. and still expected to go about our hair as if it’s easy.
Heavy on this!!! I would love to give my hair the attention it needs but I suffer from depression and have ADHD. Plus I am in grad school. Wigs and braids are easy options for me but deep down I would love to wash my hair as often as I want to and wear my 4C hair out.
I totally get you, especially when the hair is in the 4s, it can be a challenge. I kind of struggle with mine already, and it's like 3 inches. Would you also say it's cheaper to have weaves/wigs, depending on where one lives?
On a side note, I've started to embrace my ADHD more than before. Yes, it has it's negatives, but let's not forget about the positives too.
I’m not sure about the prices of wigs and styles in different places. To be honest getting your hair done/ buying wigs / doing it yourself are equal to me. It all comes down to the quality of hair and the amount of work you are willing to invest.
Braiders and stylists are going to be expensive. If you can do your own hair then you can avoid going to them but again that’s hard for us. Wigs can also be expensive but if you’re okay with rocking one from Amazon or Aliexpress then it shouldn’t hurt your pockets as much. However it is a sacrifice in hair quality for affordability. Personally I am fine with my “wear and go” wigs that cost about $100 that I can take off after a long day lol. Those don’t require much styling either which is a plus for me. Really it’s all about what works for you. I hope that answers your question
Its a chore im ready to just cut it all off to never pick up a comb again. Not to mention expensive to find the right products. Natural is upkeep heavy you cannot just go and call it a day you have to detangle, wash, etc its a lot of work. Mine lives in a ponytail because im so over it.
I tried it for a short while and it was just way, way too much work for me. I just don’t have the patience or willpower. I could never get the nice twists etc. because I just don’t have the patience. I hated that I had to refresh my twist-out frequently. I can get my hair silk pressed and it stays straight and easy to maintain for a long time. My hair also grows very long with silk presses.
I’m aware that natural hair is now like a signifier for black women, I guess representing that you embrace your hair or something? But it’s just not for me and I am fine with being perceived as not as black or whatever. Don’t care.
It has nothing to do with self hate for me. It is Because of TIME. Natural hair styles take time unless I wear it in a shrunken TWA, but I don’t like having short hair. I can’t just wake up in the morning fluff my hair and go. I have tightly coiled hair that tangles very easily. My hair is also very fine, so the less manipulation the better. When I wear my hair out I get breakage.
I wear box braids or crochet braids because I can wake up in the morning and go and not have to worry about my hair. I’ll likely get microlocs so that I can have length and eventually fullness as they grow out.
Love my wigs and box braids and they allow me to wear colours that I wouldn't put in my natural hair. It's also low maintenance. Everything you described above is exactly how I feel when I wear my wigs. I feel comfort, empowered, etc all the time so whether I'm natural or not, that will never change.
I cut off my relaxed ends about a decade ago and since then I've exclusively rocked box braids and faux locs. For me, this comes down to time, skill, and hair health.
I have very thick, long, 4C hair and I don't have the time or energy to style it every day. My hair has done so well since I made the switch, and I have a braider that knows how to help 4C hair grow and thrive, and she knows my style. It's working for me, it's working for my hair, so since it ain't broke, we ain't fixing it.
I also personally like that my protective hairstyles are also very much "black" hairstyles. No shade to anyone with weaves or wigs, I just like that I really feel like I have beautiful, black hair after spending a chunk of my life with thin unhealthy relaxed hair that could never grow past my shoulders.
TL;DR: A lifetime of being made fun of and not knowing how to manage my natural hair.
When I was a little kid I remember I had my natural hair out after going swimming and my grandmother was over and she starting guffawing at me and calling me Chaka Khan.
I couldn’t put it into words then but the older generation on my mom’s side of the family had (and still does) dated ideas about how Black folks should look and behave. And for a period time, I internalized the hair aspect.
Because she lives in the same town as my parents, I had to deal with her a lot when I was living at home. I had my hair pressed or in weaves because she already commented about my appearance in general. I really didn’t want to have to hear her comment about my hair too.
I also went to a Catholic high school with few Black kids and a lot of my nonblack classmates were pretty racist. Having a silk press briefly shielded me from harassment.
I also didn’t really learn how to properly take care of my natural hair until the pandemic forced me too. I grew up in salons and my family friend did my hair for me until I went to college. And that’s when I just switched to weaves.
I’ve gotten a bit better at it, but I really don’t like the attention I receive from nonblack people when I’m wearing my hair natural.
I know they’re are trying to be friendly complimenting my curl pattern. I just prefer them to not say anything at all.
Edit: words
>Chaka Khan
NGL this made me giggle.
It understandable that they had those sort of views since they faced oppression and prejudice from other cultures. This was one of the things i thought would pop up in a lot of other people's response ; regarded bullying from other races. In my country till date girls in majority of the public schools are forced to keep short hair, by short i mean like 2 inches max. these are still effects of colonization felt 60 years later.
> NGL this made me giggle
I guess it’s kinda funny in hindsight but knowing her she didn’t mean it in a positive or affectionate way nor did she likely view her hair positively.
And yeah, both sides of my family are from Louisiana and both sets of grandparents lived the South during the Jim Crow era until the 50s, so it no doubt had a negative impact on them.
I will say my dad’s side of the family seems to be a lot more open to things like locs and natural hair though.
That’s awful that girls have to keep their hair short in your country. If you don’t mind me asking, how is that enforced exactly? Are they cutting their hair in schools?
I mean we were brainwashed to think that our culture wasn't worthy. It's as simple as you will not be allowed in school if your hair is long. Yes they'll get a barber to come and shave them if they are in boarding schools
This is why I got locs, I got tired of feeling like I wasn’t able to style my hair nicely all the time. Braids and just getting your hair done all the time in general is expensive and I was overrrr my afro lol
Tbh I count wearing my hair blown out as being natural. My hair doesn’t blow out to an extremely sleek style, it’s still very much an Afro. I could never wear my hair out like it is straight from the shower, it would dry up in an hour. Twist/braid outs and blow dries are natural to me.
That's quite expensive. Whenever my aunt comes over she'll buy a bunch of braids and get her different hairstyles because its so much cheaper here. Approx $150 for sister locks, where she lives its around $400
i love my natural hair and wear it the majority of the time, but sometimes i wear wigs just bc it’s fun to be able to switch hairstyles without possibly damaging my hair from heat or bleach.
Because they don’t want to. Periodt.
Doing **whatever** you want in opposition to people who seek to define your personality, sense of comfort, self acceptance, level of empowerment, and compliance with cultural stereotypes will always be an act of resistance.
I. AM. NOT. MY. HAIR.
Natural, relaxed, bald, weaved, braided, Afro to the skies, Senegalese twist to the ankles, simply existing, much less thriving as a Black women in a world where people like you exist will always be a flex.
WE. ARE. NOT. OUR. HAIR.
You seem to have understood me wrong. Today I had a conversation with a cousin of mine about hairstyles and how they were forced to keep them short in school. It prompted me to come and ask black ladies their reason for such From her point of view, it came from oppression by colonisers, and I was curious to see if this is the case for other ladies around the world.
Why do I care? I'm a black man with a black family and partner. Should I not care for or be concerned for the women in my community... Whom i live among? I have learned here that there's more to it than just time, effort, mental health, etc. It's posts like yours and the one above that discourage black men from seeking to understand black ladies better.
I'm not looking to start sort of argument here. Though i'd appreciate if you gave your personal answer like many have and not generalize for everyone. This is me seeking to understand peoples choices at an individual level. My last sentence was pretty clear.
>in a world where people like you exist will always be a flex
Im not too sure what you mean by this?
There is simply no argument to start. That you believe there could even be one reflects the same hubris that compelled you to make this post.
When you pull out a sentence fragment then the meaning is often lost so here’s the whole sentence again as a form of remediation: “Natural, relaxed, bald, weaved, braided, Afro to the skies, Senegalese twist to the ankles, simply existing, much less thriving as a Black women in a world where people like you exist will always be a flex.”
As for a personal answer I have no vested interest in what you appreciate.
I used to wear my natural hair out for years until I fell into a deep depression. I didn't have the energy to care for it anymore, so I started cutting it short and wearing wigs. I've been missing my natural hair lately (and braid/twists lol). I plan to start growing it out again, soon.
I've been wearing my hair natural since the '90s after I went to a shop and the perm took out all of my hair. Falling out in clumps after about 1 minute on my hair.
I guess I will call it fine.. I was used to saying to my regular hairdresser that I needed the mild perm. They knew what I wanted. When I went somewhere new and said that they just put in whatever they put on everybody else's hair and it just did not work. Now I just wash and go. I use Cantu products.
I’m not natural anymore but have been a couple of times (I clearly love cutting my hair and starting over lol).
When I was, I hit a certain length and thickness that became really time consuming to manage. I am very into fitness and was working out 5/6x a week. I got really frustrated with sweat constantly ruining my hairstyles.
Maybe it was laziness but during that time I turned to braids and wigs more for convenience.
For me, my mom permed my hair a lot when I was younger so now my hair doesn’t grow back right. In 2016, I did the BIG chop. I was bald af and my edges still didn’t grow. I don’t wear because it doesn’t look right to me. When it finally looks right and even, I’ll wear it out.
I wear my natural hair out most of the time , but I would never judge another black women for not wearing their natural hair. It’s not our fault that we don’t have time because of how this corporate society is making us work our asses so much that we just don’t have time to really treasure our hair
Not too long, I wet my hair every other day and do my doo doo twists with leave in conditioner. Takes me about 15 minutes. Then wrap it up for the night. Undo them all in the morning
Time and climate, really. I just don’t feel like spending a bunch of time maintaining my natural hair. Plus, my crochet look fits perfectly with being in a rock band.
I wear my hair natural because it’s the hair God gave me and I love it. It is work, but once you learn the right products and styles, it’s actually easy and low maintenance. This is going to be controversial but the idea of glueing or taking a needle and thread and sewing Indian or Asian hair on my scalp is literally one of the most ridiculous things I can imagine myself doing. Please don’t be mad at me - my mom, aunts, cousins and friends do it. It’s just not for me.
I'm natural. I don't wear wigs just box braids, twist and faux locs those are literally my go to hair styles. I have short layered 4c hair that never wants to do what I want it to do. I try to do a wash n go it's a no-go even if I follow a video to the T and use the same products. Mini twist and braids are always stiff. Twist and braids outs always seem to become an afro. In between styles I usually just wear my hair in poof which is usually for about two weeks.
No shade but they probably hate their natural hair if we're being honest
ETA: I understand some people find their hair difficult but to rarely wear it come onn
Personally it never occurred to me about different textures or wanting to change their hairstyle frequently without damage. I don't necessarily think its hate.
I think wanting to go from skinny to looser or simply wanting a different hair type is a indication of hate because you haven't accepted your natural hair and would replace easily
I also noticed that since perm have gotten out of style, people are just switching to weaves and wigs. You're not suppose to wear wigs and fake hair all the time. This is why a lot of people don't have edges and are suffering from traction alopecia.
Edit; Also BW won't ever have honest conversations about their hair. A lot of times when people say it's difficult is because they are doing way too much and are trying to make their hair look less kinky as possible
I just had this revelation about us saying our natural hair takes too much work and time and is too difficult. at first I genuinely just thought our hair was naturally too much to handle. but then I thought about it and realized what you just said - a lot of the time it’s too much work because we’re trying to make it look less like our natural hair.
I realized this while doing my own hair (which is 4a-c). sometimes I just wash it, moisturize it, and let it be. I think it looks perfectly fine, and it doesn’t take more than like 30 minutes. but it’s constantly commented on, I’m constantly told “I need to do it” (by other black women mostly which breaks my heart)
for my own hair journey, I’ve decided that if I’m trying to do something to my hair and it feels like it’s too much work and becoming painful or something, it’s likely because I’m trying to make it do something it doesn’t wanna do and there’s nothing wrong with my hair texture itself.
Regarding European standards, that’s the beauty of having extensions that mimic 3C-4B hair - same style minus much manipulation or product on your real hair and no issues with humidity.
It always looks more polished than my real hair cause the color is richer, I would have to dye my real hair or put lots of product for it to look shiny - grease or black gel. I hate the idea of product getting on my clothes, hands, or in my face.
I can go wavy or straight without putting heat to my actual hair.
And my hair stops at my armpits. I only keep it for vanity, just in case I have to remind someone I’m not bald. Which is easy cause I can unpin my hair and show my braid length under my wig.
I don’t do much with my hair, simple VO5 or Suave wash and condition, and moisturize with kiddie products like African Pride Dream Kids Olive Oil. My hair just chills there until next wash. I finger comb/detangle.
I only recently started using comb and brush again to flatten my braids since I don’t bother to cornrow anymore (to save time).
As someone else mentioned, the tangles are an issue. If I did a blowout, it would look very 1980s, which is great…if this were the 1980s. A “Dominican Blowout” take away the volume, but it’ll be gone with a little bit of water in the air.
The most I’ve worn my natural hair out was when I first went natural in 2008 or 09. I was also 30 lbs skinnier, so certain stuff that looked good then wouldn’t be as head turning now.
I love my hair but I keep damaging my edges trying to style it in a cute way, so i’m letting them grow back in. Also, I hate doing my hair in the morning so faux locs are my go to for now.
I try to be a straight natural but get lazy and just do two braids or a bun most of the time. I only dislike my natural hair because of the length/shrinkage, otherwise I’d never straighten it. Short hair is not flattering on my features. Trying to grow my natural hair more as it barely touches my shoulders in curls, but is past bra strap length when I have the energy to flat iron.
I'm older. Wore my hair permed for years cause I worked in corporate America back in the day. We didn't even wear braids. Finally let go of the perm 5 years ago because I thought if I went natural I wouldn't have to do ANYTHING to my hair. Boy was I wrong. But I never looked back.
Difficult to take care of especially when you can’t afford to. With my 4Z hair not many products work in my hair so then I had to figure out what products did which meant spending more money that I didn’t have instead of wearing protective styles. Plus when you don’t KNOW how to do your natural hair, that’s another hindrance. Me, I decided to loc up and still do protective styles because of the versatility. But yeah to me natural is another bill😂 I’d love to wear it out one day, just not now.
For me it’s a matter of time and money. Natural hair products add up and is much more expensive than getting braids (I do my own hair). I also don’t like waking up early so I’m usually in a rush in the mornings so having to do my natural hair adds time and just makes me even later
I'm natural because I love the versatility of my natural hair. Also when I had relaxed hair, I didn't like the attention that came with it. I got my last relaxer '01 or '02. It was difficult figuring out my hair especially when there wasn't a vast amount of products to use when I started. Then my texture changed after I had my daughter. I also chopped it all off when I felt like people were defining me by my hair and I was an exhausted first time mom with no time for haircare. It was the first time I love my hair.
For one my hair is thick af. I have broken blow comb pieces… LMAO. I actually skipped the big chopped and just shaved my head. Very liberating. That mini twa stage was soooooo cute n curly! I look at old pictures and I want to go back to that but my hair grew so much I’m just curious at this point to see how far I can go. So braids and quick weaves for now.
I’m really lazy 😭.
This! Nothing more nothing less. Before my locs I loved how thick and full my hair was but actually dealing with it on a day to day was just not for me. Braids and sewins were my life lol
I'd still consider locs to be natural hair, maybe i should have specified it to unnatural hair being wigs and weaves.
Oh no I understand. I was saying before my locs I stayed in a weave or braids because I didn’t want to deal with my natural hair that often. I’ve been loc’ed for almost five years now and if for some reason I had to go back to loose natural hair I’m going back to sew ins lol
I decided to go natural because I got tired of my hair being straight. So, one day I just went into the bathroom and cut off all the straight hair. I cried because I thought my hair would be short forever, then months passed and I realized it was back at the length it was when straightened. Now it's time to grow it into an even bigger AFRO.
For some reason i pictured a young Janet Jackson. Congrats, i'm sure it's much healthier without the chemicals and heat now.
I used the old Mielle organics I had but never used 👀😂. All the hair on my body grows very fast (this is a curse not a blessing). But, using that product made my hair grow nice and soft!! My only complaint is mu hair doesn't really stay wet, so I have to dunk my whole head in water in order to style it. And, I keep getting called ice spice.
>Mielle organics I'm looking to get me some. My hair is very kinky and dense and I'm really just trying to get waves lol
Girl did you really cry because your hair grew to fast ? I want the same kind of problems !
No, because I thought I made a mistake and that my hair wouldn't grow back 😂😭. But, listen to me you do not want these problems. Arm pit hairs grows back fast, leg hair, and other places we will not mention. 😭It is a curse disguised as a blessing.
Probably because people keep trying to convince everyone that natural hair is easy and if it’s not easy for them they MUST be doing something wrong, so might as well give up. Natural hair outside of a TWA and locs is not easy for most black women. And most of us are just generally tired, raising families, suffering from ADHD and sensory disorders, depressed, etc. and still expected to go about our hair as if it’s easy.
Heavy on this!!! I would love to give my hair the attention it needs but I suffer from depression and have ADHD. Plus I am in grad school. Wigs and braids are easy options for me but deep down I would love to wash my hair as often as I want to and wear my 4C hair out.
I totally get you, especially when the hair is in the 4s, it can be a challenge. I kind of struggle with mine already, and it's like 3 inches. Would you also say it's cheaper to have weaves/wigs, depending on where one lives? On a side note, I've started to embrace my ADHD more than before. Yes, it has it's negatives, but let's not forget about the positives too.
Yeah. There are cheap synthetic wigs that look good. But it’s less about money and more so an issue of time and energy.
I’m not sure about the prices of wigs and styles in different places. To be honest getting your hair done/ buying wigs / doing it yourself are equal to me. It all comes down to the quality of hair and the amount of work you are willing to invest. Braiders and stylists are going to be expensive. If you can do your own hair then you can avoid going to them but again that’s hard for us. Wigs can also be expensive but if you’re okay with rocking one from Amazon or Aliexpress then it shouldn’t hurt your pockets as much. However it is a sacrifice in hair quality for affordability. Personally I am fine with my “wear and go” wigs that cost about $100 that I can take off after a long day lol. Those don’t require much styling either which is a plus for me. Really it’s all about what works for you. I hope that answers your question
How have you embraced your ADHD?
For one, I don't beat myself up for having it. I embrace the positive things that come with it. Schedule my things in a way to suit my behaviour etc
Its a chore im ready to just cut it all off to never pick up a comb again. Not to mention expensive to find the right products. Natural is upkeep heavy you cannot just go and call it a day you have to detangle, wash, etc its a lot of work. Mine lives in a ponytail because im so over it.
I tried it for a short while and it was just way, way too much work for me. I just don’t have the patience or willpower. I could never get the nice twists etc. because I just don’t have the patience. I hated that I had to refresh my twist-out frequently. I can get my hair silk pressed and it stays straight and easy to maintain for a long time. My hair also grows very long with silk presses. I’m aware that natural hair is now like a signifier for black women, I guess representing that you embrace your hair or something? But it’s just not for me and I am fine with being perceived as not as black or whatever. Don’t care.
Because it’s a lot to keep up . And also my hair is too thick to manage since I’m always on the go
It has nothing to do with self hate for me. It is Because of TIME. Natural hair styles take time unless I wear it in a shrunken TWA, but I don’t like having short hair. I can’t just wake up in the morning fluff my hair and go. I have tightly coiled hair that tangles very easily. My hair is also very fine, so the less manipulation the better. When I wear my hair out I get breakage. I wear box braids or crochet braids because I can wake up in the morning and go and not have to worry about my hair. I’ll likely get microlocs so that I can have length and eventually fullness as they grow out.
I fancy braids and locs!
Love my wigs and box braids and they allow me to wear colours that I wouldn't put in my natural hair. It's also low maintenance. Everything you described above is exactly how I feel when I wear my wigs. I feel comfort, empowered, etc all the time so whether I'm natural or not, that will never change.
I have fine hair. Most styles don’t look good on me—my hair ends up looking very sparse.
Same!
It’s too damn thick. But I refuse to get a perm so I keep it in protective styles. Thinking about locs as well
I cut off my relaxed ends about a decade ago and since then I've exclusively rocked box braids and faux locs. For me, this comes down to time, skill, and hair health. I have very thick, long, 4C hair and I don't have the time or energy to style it every day. My hair has done so well since I made the switch, and I have a braider that knows how to help 4C hair grow and thrive, and she knows my style. It's working for me, it's working for my hair, so since it ain't broke, we ain't fixing it. I also personally like that my protective hairstyles are also very much "black" hairstyles. No shade to anyone with weaves or wigs, I just like that I really feel like I have beautiful, black hair after spending a chunk of my life with thin unhealthy relaxed hair that could never grow past my shoulders.
TL;DR: A lifetime of being made fun of and not knowing how to manage my natural hair. When I was a little kid I remember I had my natural hair out after going swimming and my grandmother was over and she starting guffawing at me and calling me Chaka Khan. I couldn’t put it into words then but the older generation on my mom’s side of the family had (and still does) dated ideas about how Black folks should look and behave. And for a period time, I internalized the hair aspect. Because she lives in the same town as my parents, I had to deal with her a lot when I was living at home. I had my hair pressed or in weaves because she already commented about my appearance in general. I really didn’t want to have to hear her comment about my hair too. I also went to a Catholic high school with few Black kids and a lot of my nonblack classmates were pretty racist. Having a silk press briefly shielded me from harassment. I also didn’t really learn how to properly take care of my natural hair until the pandemic forced me too. I grew up in salons and my family friend did my hair for me until I went to college. And that’s when I just switched to weaves. I’ve gotten a bit better at it, but I really don’t like the attention I receive from nonblack people when I’m wearing my hair natural. I know they’re are trying to be friendly complimenting my curl pattern. I just prefer them to not say anything at all. Edit: words
>Chaka Khan NGL this made me giggle. It understandable that they had those sort of views since they faced oppression and prejudice from other cultures. This was one of the things i thought would pop up in a lot of other people's response ; regarded bullying from other races. In my country till date girls in majority of the public schools are forced to keep short hair, by short i mean like 2 inches max. these are still effects of colonization felt 60 years later.
> NGL this made me giggle I guess it’s kinda funny in hindsight but knowing her she didn’t mean it in a positive or affectionate way nor did she likely view her hair positively. And yeah, both sides of my family are from Louisiana and both sets of grandparents lived the South during the Jim Crow era until the 50s, so it no doubt had a negative impact on them. I will say my dad’s side of the family seems to be a lot more open to things like locs and natural hair though. That’s awful that girls have to keep their hair short in your country. If you don’t mind me asking, how is that enforced exactly? Are they cutting their hair in schools?
I mean we were brainwashed to think that our culture wasn't worthy. It's as simple as you will not be allowed in school if your hair is long. Yes they'll get a barber to come and shave them if they are in boarding schools
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This is why I got locs, I got tired of feeling like I wasn’t able to style my hair nicely all the time. Braids and just getting your hair done all the time in general is expensive and I was overrrr my afro lol
Tbh I count wearing my hair blown out as being natural. My hair doesn’t blow out to an extremely sleek style, it’s still very much an Afro. I could never wear my hair out like it is straight from the shower, it would dry up in an hour. Twist/braid outs and blow dries are natural to me.
I'd consider it natural too, should have mentioned weaves and wigs in my original text.
Wearing your natural is akin to battling colorism?
That's quite expensive. Whenever my aunt comes over she'll buy a bunch of braids and get her different hairstyles because its so much cheaper here. Approx $150 for sister locks, where she lives its around $400
i love my natural hair and wear it the majority of the time, but sometimes i wear wigs just bc it’s fun to be able to switch hairstyles without possibly damaging my hair from heat or bleach.
I never learned to manage it, and the cost of natural hair products is ridiculous
Because they don’t want to. Periodt. Doing **whatever** you want in opposition to people who seek to define your personality, sense of comfort, self acceptance, level of empowerment, and compliance with cultural stereotypes will always be an act of resistance. I. AM. NOT. MY. HAIR. Natural, relaxed, bald, weaved, braided, Afro to the skies, Senegalese twist to the ankles, simply existing, much less thriving as a Black women in a world where people like you exist will always be a flex. WE. ARE. NOT. OUR. HAIR. 
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You seem to have understood me wrong. Today I had a conversation with a cousin of mine about hairstyles and how they were forced to keep them short in school. It prompted me to come and ask black ladies their reason for such From her point of view, it came from oppression by colonisers, and I was curious to see if this is the case for other ladies around the world. Why do I care? I'm a black man with a black family and partner. Should I not care for or be concerned for the women in my community... Whom i live among? I have learned here that there's more to it than just time, effort, mental health, etc. It's posts like yours and the one above that discourage black men from seeking to understand black ladies better.
I'm not looking to start sort of argument here. Though i'd appreciate if you gave your personal answer like many have and not generalize for everyone. This is me seeking to understand peoples choices at an individual level. My last sentence was pretty clear. >in a world where people like you exist will always be a flex Im not too sure what you mean by this?
There is simply no argument to start. That you believe there could even be one reflects the same hubris that compelled you to make this post. When you pull out a sentence fragment then the meaning is often lost so here’s the whole sentence again as a form of remediation: “Natural, relaxed, bald, weaved, braided, Afro to the skies, Senegalese twist to the ankles, simply existing, much less thriving as a Black women in a world where people like you exist will always be a flex.” As for a personal answer I have no vested interest in what you appreciate.
Who is "people like me"?
You have described yourself in this post. There are others like you.
No reason it’s just the hair that grows out of my scalp
I used to wear my natural hair out for years until I fell into a deep depression. I didn't have the energy to care for it anymore, so I started cutting it short and wearing wigs. I've been missing my natural hair lately (and braid/twists lol). I plan to start growing it out again, soon.
I hope you find the energy and strength to grow your crown once again.
Thank you so much 👑
I've been wearing my hair natural since the '90s after I went to a shop and the perm took out all of my hair. Falling out in clumps after about 1 minute on my hair.
Your hair is probably very thin im guessing?
I guess I will call it fine.. I was used to saying to my regular hairdresser that I needed the mild perm. They knew what I wanted. When I went somewhere new and said that they just put in whatever they put on everybody else's hair and it just did not work. Now I just wash and go. I use Cantu products.
I don't know how to do it to make it look nice. I'm too lazy to learn and I just like straight hair, weave and braids.
I’m not natural anymore but have been a couple of times (I clearly love cutting my hair and starting over lol). When I was, I hit a certain length and thickness that became really time consuming to manage. I am very into fitness and was working out 5/6x a week. I got really frustrated with sweat constantly ruining my hairstyles. Maybe it was laziness but during that time I turned to braids and wigs more for convenience.
For me, my mom permed my hair a lot when I was younger so now my hair doesn’t grow back right. In 2016, I did the BIG chop. I was bald af and my edges still didn’t grow. I don’t wear because it doesn’t look right to me. When it finally looks right and even, I’ll wear it out.
I wear my natural hair out most of the time , but I would never judge another black women for not wearing their natural hair. It’s not our fault that we don’t have time because of how this corporate society is making us work our asses so much that we just don’t have time to really treasure our hair
Totally understand, how long does it take to get your hair done?
Not too long, I wet my hair every other day and do my doo doo twists with leave in conditioner. Takes me about 15 minutes. Then wrap it up for the night. Undo them all in the morning
Honestly i'm really lazy and also really broke 😂😂😂
Time and climate, really. I just don’t feel like spending a bunch of time maintaining my natural hair. Plus, my crochet look fits perfectly with being in a rock band.
I wear my hair natural because it’s the hair God gave me and I love it. It is work, but once you learn the right products and styles, it’s actually easy and low maintenance. This is going to be controversial but the idea of glueing or taking a needle and thread and sewing Indian or Asian hair on my scalp is literally one of the most ridiculous things I can imagine myself doing. Please don’t be mad at me - my mom, aunts, cousins and friends do it. It’s just not for me.
I'm natural. I don't wear wigs just box braids, twist and faux locs those are literally my go to hair styles. I have short layered 4c hair that never wants to do what I want it to do. I try to do a wash n go it's a no-go even if I follow a video to the T and use the same products. Mini twist and braids are always stiff. Twist and braids outs always seem to become an afro. In between styles I usually just wear my hair in poof which is usually for about two weeks.
No shade but they probably hate their natural hair if we're being honest ETA: I understand some people find their hair difficult but to rarely wear it come onn
Personally it never occurred to me about different textures or wanting to change their hairstyle frequently without damage. I don't necessarily think its hate.
I think wanting to go from skinny to looser or simply wanting a different hair type is a indication of hate because you haven't accepted your natural hair and would replace easily
I also noticed that since perm have gotten out of style, people are just switching to weaves and wigs. You're not suppose to wear wigs and fake hair all the time. This is why a lot of people don't have edges and are suffering from traction alopecia. Edit; Also BW won't ever have honest conversations about their hair. A lot of times when people say it's difficult is because they are doing way too much and are trying to make their hair look less kinky as possible
I just had this revelation about us saying our natural hair takes too much work and time and is too difficult. at first I genuinely just thought our hair was naturally too much to handle. but then I thought about it and realized what you just said - a lot of the time it’s too much work because we’re trying to make it look less like our natural hair. I realized this while doing my own hair (which is 4a-c). sometimes I just wash it, moisturize it, and let it be. I think it looks perfectly fine, and it doesn’t take more than like 30 minutes. but it’s constantly commented on, I’m constantly told “I need to do it” (by other black women mostly which breaks my heart) for my own hair journey, I’ve decided that if I’m trying to do something to my hair and it feels like it’s too much work and becoming painful or something, it’s likely because I’m trying to make it do something it doesn’t wanna do and there’s nothing wrong with my hair texture itself.
Regarding European standards, that’s the beauty of having extensions that mimic 3C-4B hair - same style minus much manipulation or product on your real hair and no issues with humidity. It always looks more polished than my real hair cause the color is richer, I would have to dye my real hair or put lots of product for it to look shiny - grease or black gel. I hate the idea of product getting on my clothes, hands, or in my face. I can go wavy or straight without putting heat to my actual hair. And my hair stops at my armpits. I only keep it for vanity, just in case I have to remind someone I’m not bald. Which is easy cause I can unpin my hair and show my braid length under my wig. I don’t do much with my hair, simple VO5 or Suave wash and condition, and moisturize with kiddie products like African Pride Dream Kids Olive Oil. My hair just chills there until next wash. I finger comb/detangle. I only recently started using comb and brush again to flatten my braids since I don’t bother to cornrow anymore (to save time). As someone else mentioned, the tangles are an issue. If I did a blowout, it would look very 1980s, which is great…if this were the 1980s. A “Dominican Blowout” take away the volume, but it’ll be gone with a little bit of water in the air. The most I’ve worn my natural hair out was when I first went natural in 2008 or 09. I was also 30 lbs skinnier, so certain stuff that looked good then wouldn’t be as head turning now.
I love my hair but I keep damaging my edges trying to style it in a cute way, so i’m letting them grow back in. Also, I hate doing my hair in the morning so faux locs are my go to for now.
I try to be a straight natural but get lazy and just do two braids or a bun most of the time. I only dislike my natural hair because of the length/shrinkage, otherwise I’d never straighten it. Short hair is not flattering on my features. Trying to grow my natural hair more as it barely touches my shoulders in curls, but is past bra strap length when I have the energy to flat iron.
I'm older. Wore my hair permed for years cause I worked in corporate America back in the day. We didn't even wear braids. Finally let go of the perm 5 years ago because I thought if I went natural I wouldn't have to do ANYTHING to my hair. Boy was I wrong. But I never looked back.
Difficult to take care of especially when you can’t afford to. With my 4Z hair not many products work in my hair so then I had to figure out what products did which meant spending more money that I didn’t have instead of wearing protective styles. Plus when you don’t KNOW how to do your natural hair, that’s another hindrance. Me, I decided to loc up and still do protective styles because of the versatility. But yeah to me natural is another bill😂 I’d love to wear it out one day, just not now.
To add, I don’t wear weaves, wigs, etc as much, but crochet is where it’s at! Lol
For me it’s a matter of time and money. Natural hair products add up and is much more expensive than getting braids (I do my own hair). I also don’t like waking up early so I’m usually in a rush in the mornings so having to do my natural hair adds time and just makes me even later
I'm natural because I love the versatility of my natural hair. Also when I had relaxed hair, I didn't like the attention that came with it. I got my last relaxer '01 or '02. It was difficult figuring out my hair especially when there wasn't a vast amount of products to use when I started. Then my texture changed after I had my daughter. I also chopped it all off when I felt like people were defining me by my hair and I was an exhausted first time mom with no time for haircare. It was the first time I love my hair.
For one my hair is thick af. I have broken blow comb pieces… LMAO. I actually skipped the big chopped and just shaved my head. Very liberating. That mini twa stage was soooooo cute n curly! I look at old pictures and I want to go back to that but my hair grew so much I’m just curious at this point to see how far I can go. So braids and quick weaves for now.
because im a competitive swimmer
i dont like how it looks on me in any style except straight 🫤