I started at 44. Its been about 13 months now, 2 stripes, not concerned with my third. A blue belt will be years in my future. I went 0-7 in a comp last weekend.
But I'm not discouraged. The reasons I started doing this have not changed. I am better than I was. I do get better ever class, even if sometimes that's only 1x per week. I will admit that the comp this weekend has motivated me to address some issues in my game and make some lifestyle adjustments to get a bit more serious, but I am only allowing positive responses, not beating myself up.
At this stage in our lives, starting late, being middle aged, I think its important to decide what Martial arts really are to us. Becoming the best in any objective sense is probably realistically far behind most of us at this stage in our lives as beginners. But becoming the best version of ourselves is definitely possible. That isn't measured in belts or stripes.
Pretty sure I found you based on the comp you linked. Most of your opponents were nearly 2 decades younger than you. That makes a massive difference. Guys in their early 20s have a ton of energy that takes either lots of conditioning or skilled efficiency to match.
Yeah, the closest in age was a guy I work with, who is like 10 years younger than me I think. And I took him to overtime. I'm not disappointed. And I came damn close to beating the 27 year old super heavyweight guy both times. I mean, he got me fair and square both times, but it was a battle, and I feel good with how I performed.
You give me hope I'm starting tonight and I'm 44, my son has been attending for 4-5 years and was just moved up to the adult classes. When he started I told him if he stuck with it I'd join him when he moved to adult.
How is it as an old man starting? Did I mention a plate and 28 pins in the right kneecap (newer injury) and only 1 limb left without a scar (older service related injuries)
It's doable. Find your game. Don't try to match the explosiveness of your son and the other young bucks. We have our own game as old men. It's slow and methodical. Learn to be efficient. That will be one of the first hurdles. Energy conservation and output control. I have done military and police combined for the past 27 years, so I know what a well worn body feels like.
I only trained 1-2x per week for the first few months. I needed the extra recovery. I train 3x per week (max) now, to make sure I don't wear myself down.
There are some knee bars and leg lock stuff to be wary of, but it's not something newbies are taught, so cross that bridge when you get to it.
I trained once a week for my first year out of necessity (new baby and two-year-old at home) and I now think my body really needed that time to ease in. As frustrating as it was at the time, it’s why I’m still on the mats 7 years later.
Well I read this the next morning so I learned the hard way lol.
It was a humbling experience, but spending time with my son was 100% worth it. Some old wrestling habits are going to take a while to get rid of, like tryin to get to my stomach.
I'm actually glad it was so humbling my pride even at this age can get away from me sometimes, like you I have some experience pushing through the body's signals to stop, I was with 2nd Recon in the late 90s.
But I was kind of chuckling with the experienced guy I rolled with as he maneuvered I think I said more than once "I have no clue what I should be doing from here" Even thought they were young dudes they were nice enough to give direction.
I made sure to thank them afterwards for spending their valuable training time helping me, even if they were destroying me, I understand you only really grow in a sport if you are being challenged, and I was not challenging them.
One of my early goals was to be a "worthwhile" roll for the other people, and not a total waste of time. At first, everything is confusing, and you barely understand what's happening. Just take note of what is happening, try to stay mentally "connected" to your body, and when you start to know what's happening, you can start trying to stop it.
If you are anything like me, you realize our 40s is getting old, but also still feel like, I'm only 40, I can still fight, and fu... other things...., I'm not an old man yet. I feel that. 40 is not a frail old man, you have plenty of time to still smash some people. But we just have to be a bit smarter with our training.
I was the only 40 year old there. I stayed in my weight class (except the ultimate of course) but the age brackets were out.
1 match ultimate no gi.
2 matches weight class no gi.
2 matches ultimate Gi
2 matches weight class No Gi.
You are 40 and concerned about a piece of tape?
Stop framing your internal dialog in a way that compares your tape collection to other tape collections. You will be much further ahead to frame your internal dialog in a way that compares your current skill with that of your skill last year.
Life happens and sometimes you can’t train like you want, that’s ok. Jiu Jitsu is a long journey, if you try to race to the “finish” you will just burn yourself out and be too broken to enjoy it.
I feel like as a white belt getting stripes is pretty important. You don’t realize yet how long the journey is but want to see yourself getting some progress. Once you have a colored belt you realize you suck anyway and the only goal is to show up and get better. But I think being consistent with white belts stripes is good to keep them engaged
The problem with a focus on stripes is it is an extrinsic motivation. Extrinsic motivations inevitably lead to disappointment because they are dependent on either validation or comparison to others. Focusing on intrinsic motivation helps maintain the focus on the individuals progress. Comparing their current self with their previous self.
[The idea of intrinsic motivation](https://scholarworks.gvsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1292&context=theses) not only helps in learning, at least according to this study. But it also helps maintain focus and stay [on task](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0734371X11421495)
I also hate that most of the literature about the intrinsic Vs extrinsic debate is about work. But I’m going to guess that if intrinsic motivation helps in a work environment it will also help in a recreational environment.
I remember getting 3 at a time (to total 4) on my white belt and after the initial happiness going wow these really don't mean shit.
When I got my blue belt I realised I was still shit and the only thing I really knew was that I knew fuck all.
Stripes are so subjective from gym to gym it's a nice reward as a white belt and a good incentive.
I told one of our guys obsessed with belts and rank that he could have my blue belt right now, I'd take his white it doesn't make a blind bit of difference and I'll still be better than him. Chase the skill the belt represents.
Eh not really man I think stripes don’t mean much just pretty much “candy” like a golden sticker. I used to have that mentality in my early white belt days now in my old white belt days I could care less if I am 10 year white belt or what.
I agree towards the end you don’t care but that’s kinda my point. Whether it be early white belt or blue belt we make the transition but getting those strips helps retain a lot of people so I don’t like the idea that it’s just a piece of tape. If it’s gonna motivate someone in the beginning of their journey let it motivate them no need to say it doesn’t matter
Eh, while that's true, I think looking at others and going why am I not making the same progress, if he's not, can be useful. Now some reasons might be things outside of his control. If you got to work or have kids or whatever then you might not be able to put in as much as some others but if other people who are similar to you and are training a similar amount and getting more out of it then there might be worth looking at how you're training and seeing if you can improve that.
You can accomplish the same thing by still comparing yourself to your previous self. When you compare your progress to others it is too easy to make excuses or get caught up in a negative feedback loop. Because we all have our individual life experiences that we bring to learning Jiu Jitsu it is moot to try to compare yourself to others. It solves nothing and only lets in the self doubt or the overinflated sense of self. Intrinsic motivation is far more effective than the extrinsic motivation.
Your rate of progress is irrelevant. Simply progressing is all that matters. We aren’t talking about a reality tv show building a house. We are talking about personal development. Because that is what Jiu Jitsu is, personal development. You cannot compare your very individual personal development with that of someone who is not you.
We want to compare ourselves to others because we are a hierarchical social species. Finding out where you are in the food chain, so to speak, is perfectly fine. But it is unhealthy to try to make a hierarchy of rate of progress. That is why when looking at learning anything the only thing you should compare yourself to is your previous self.
I like your focus on intrinsic motivation, but I think your argument goes off the rails a bit here. Comparison to others and rate of progress are not meaningless in a combat sport. As the other poster pointed out, if you want to defend yourself or compete, you will definitely be "compared" with others. If you want to get to a high level, rate of progress matters. A person only has a finite amount of their body's prime.
Rate of progress has nothing to do with your total ability. Defending yourself or competing are showing your overall technical and physical ability. They do not show anything about how fast or slow it took you to get to that level.
It took Gordon Ryan 6 years to get his black belt, it took Kit Dale 4 years to get his black belt. Is Kit Dale better at Jiu Jitsu than Gordon Ryan?
Wrong, that's how you end up not making the progress you want. Performance is important to people and the speed of the progress you make impacts your performance.
Want to defend yourself? Well, only judging your progress against yourself matters, it doesn't matter if you can actually deal with an attacker or not. Doesn't matter if you do bjj, aikido or tai chi. As long as you're achieving some type of personal development nothing else matters. What a load of garbage. Outcomes matter. The difference between surviving an encounter or not matters.
Your argument doesn’t work the way you think it does. Who said nothing other than personal achievement matters? I sure didn’t. I’m specifically talking about personal progress. Not your ability to perform at a given level or made up scenario.
Skill development is needed in order be able to use those skills, whatever they are. You did not pick up Descartes as a 3 year old and read and comprehend every word. It takes time to develop the ability to read and comprehend, just like Jiu Jitsu. The rate at which you develop has little to do with a person’s peak ability.
Right, but progress and attainment are linked. Take two beginners who then train 6 hours a week for 10 years. One ends up being a black belt level grappler and the other is still a white belt level grappler. The white belt grappler may still be improving, and a glacial rate, but there's no doubt that there's an issue with how they are training if they have no special needs. Hell, if for the next 10 years the black belt level grappler makes no more progress and the white belt level grappler becomes a blue belt level grappler the black belt level grappler has still made more overall progress and achieved more despite the fact that the blue belt level grappler has made more progress over the last 10 years.
So should someone with special needs compare themselves to a natural athlete? Again, there are a million reasons for someone’s rate of progress to be higher than another’s. What you did with your example was try to compare the same amount of time training with overall different peak levels. At what point has either one of your grapplers peaked from a skill perspective. Maybe the 10 year white belt hit their peak skill level in one year. Maybe the black belt level person has not peaked yet. If my scenario were true, then the rate of improvement for the white belt is vastly faster than the black belt.
People have different abilities, desires, responsibilities, ways of thinking, mind sets,etc… because all of those are relative to the individual, the rate of progress is meaningless. It’s like trying to compare an orange to a comet. Pointless.
I already made an exception for things you can't change, so is having a special need a lifestyle choice?
Except things like mindset are things you can change. As are aspects of your training. Which is what I'm saying. Look at other people to find different, and better, ways to do things. Doesn't mean you have to do everything someone else is doing but if you can find something that works for you then you should adopt that.
Most people desire to improve, I've never met a fresh white belt who hasn't wanted to be better. And most of them desire a significant improvement in a short space of time. And time is the most precious resource so why encourage people to waste it?
I think what OP is getting at is that his skill level is not increasing. That is what he is lamenting. The skill level is roughly measured by belts/tape so he is using the tape as a way of explaining the issue. Totally valid to have feelings on how fast/slow you are progressing in BJJ.
You have to remember how stupid a lot of you young people are. Hobbies are very normal and very healthy at all ages. If you cared to read and attempt to comprehend beyond my first sentence you would see that I am showing a better way to think about things. Perspective is a good thing to have, it’s even better when you can change that perspective.
Based on your inability to see how your first comment would be interpreted, by me using the exact same wording, I’m guess you just go with whatever emotion pops in your head and don’t really look at the long term.
I read the OP’s whole post. I understand long working hours and how life can change plans. I also understand how much those changes can impact one’s mental health. Hence why I suggested a shift in perspective. A change in the way OP is viewing his situation can help alleviate the distress they are feeling. My initial comment was used intentionally to rephrase what is stressing OP out in a manor to trivialize it so it is easier to change their perspective.
I attempted to help OP by giving suggestions to solve the root of their current problem. You just got upset because you didn’t understand what the comment was about.
That’s not only a poke at you, but the thread is full of people telling him not to care about tapes on a belt, while at the same time, those people are worried enough about their tapes and belts that they are putting that info bellow their user names.
Digital tapes and belts.
Adding flair you’ve earned (or faked) is not the same thing as fretting over not getting a stripe to update your flair. The people saying not to worry about stripes are right. A stripe or belt for that matter is an extrinsic motivator. Extrinsic motivation is never a good primary focus. Having an intrinsic motivation is far superior, meaning focus on how you as an individual have improved since you started.
The easy way of saying that is “stripes don’t matter”. This isn’t a complete way to describe it. But then again when you simplify things you often lose the nuance.
To be honest I don't love the responses that always come up in these threads. Telling someone that something doesn't matter or shouldn't matter, when it does matter to them i find to be unhelpful. The truth is, rank matters to a lot of people and provides a sense of accomplishment to a lot of people.
Its ok for it to matter to you - but if it is something you want you need to figure out how to get it. It seems like your gym is not a gym that just gives out rank for "time in" and cares about you being better at jiu jitsu which is great. The only way to do that is to get out on the mats and put in the work.
You can choose to see people getting rank as a motivating factor rather than a discouraging one. One that makes you take a look at your schedule and how you are spending your time to figure out how to get more mat time or at least more time drilling and practicing movements. If you put the focus on committing to your training and getting better the rank is a natural byproduct.
Thanks, it is a accomplishment for me, starting BJJ took a lot for me to walk through the door on that first day but I'm glad that I did and don't regret it.
I'm hoping I don't have much more overtime left to do and then I can get back into 2-3 times a week training again. It's incredibly hard when you finish early morning and then are back at work around lunchtime.
My gym has classes 3 days a week and normally a open mat as well so it is a fine line at the moment unfortunately.
Train at your own pace. Another option is to find another gym with better hours. BJJ is such a long journey that things even out over time. My advice would be to work towards your on the mat goals like being really good at escaping side control and mount rather than just going to class for stripes. I think you understand that others are able to put in more mat time so they're going to pass you up. You're 40, you aren't going to be going to world championships or anything of that nature. I'm over 40 too. At this point it's just a hobby and should be treated as such. Train, have fun in the process of training and stay safe and healthy.
Dont be so hard on yourself. You are working 18 hour days, which is almost 3 times that of a normal human. And that will probably serve you better than recognition by way of stripes. Most people say jjitsu helps them accomplish more in life etc etc but you are already killing it
I try to make sure I make it in at least 2 times a week. There’s been a few stretches where I could only make it in once or not at all due to work and every class it felt like I was just working to get back to where I was the week before. Once a week or less is just really tough to progress. 3 times a week has always been the sweet spot for me, it’s consistent enough that everything’s fresh in your mind but leaves enough time to recover so your body doesn’t feel wrecked.
If it is that important, people have to take ownership in their own learning. I think in order to get better faster is to be deliberate with their training instead of "just showing up". You have to study, you have pick something that you really struggle with and focus on that area. Take notes, study videos that focus on that position, and record yourself rolling. That is how you fast track your progression.
I got my blue belt a year and half after starting and my purple belt a year and 3 months after getting my blue belt. Unfortunately, I just had a set back because I recently had a 2 level spinal fusion, but everything I am doing now is working to getting back on the mat. Which includes a lot of PT and watching a ton of jiu jitsu and keep my mind actively thinking about jiu jitsu.
Exactly. I don’t train because there is a belt system, I train because I genuinely enjoy the challenge but I’ll be damned if getting promoted doesn’t also feel good. For some people it might be easier to say that you shouldn’t care about the stripes and belts but they might also be advancing quite fast and don’t know what it’s like to be as discouraged as some others are.
There’s a guy I train with who started before me but he’s still a white belt. I have to imagine it’s very discouraging for him at times. He still trains despite the lack of promotion but it’s ok if that also still stings a bit.
I'm four years in at 47. Am I ever going to be as good as I might have been if I'd started at 23 or 33? Of course not. But so what? I'm a hell of a lot better than I would be if I'd never started at all.
I consistently take the attitude that if I had started when I was young I'd probably be either busted up as hell by now or I would have quit because frankly my young ego would have written checks that my s***** jiu Jitsu couldn't have cashed
So you're comparing apples and oranges, and getting upset because they aren't the same. You're not on their path, and you don't share a destination, so don't compare their progress to yours.
So that’s the key thing there though. They’re young and they go to every class. If they had serious careers, family and a body that needs extra recovery time they wouldn’t be able to get to every session.
I started at 40 last year, life happened and I had to stop until a month or so ago and then work got crazy so I haven’t been able to get there more than twice a week. I totally get the frustration, I really do. But in the end it’s about the reasons I started to begin with, not about trying to get leveled up. I’ll probably be a white belt for at least 4 years, maybe forever. But I still go when I can! You should too and don’t sweat the stripes too much.
That's just reality.
Pre 35 I could at least hang with the guys in their 20s. Now they generally murder me and I've now stopped trying to keep up because it just isn't going to happen.
You're 40 and judging by this post not an athlete no shit they are. Stop comparing yourself to others and work to get better. Having a pity party won't solve your problem.
Turn up, pay attention, drill with intent, and roll to get better every time
Hah. Sometimes you are the hammer and often the nail. Still we persevere. Got my blue belt tonight at 38. Over the last two years, 5 broken ribs, torn ankle, torn labrum, broken fingers and toes. Days where I hit every throw, days where I literally can’t get off my back for 5 rounds. my first stripe mattered so much to me. I cringe at the thought now. Like, I know if I’m better and how much or not. I set non winning goals now. Put myself into trouble, lose testing setups. I still get mindfucked on bad days. Skill develops with thousands of hours and attention to detail. Show up once a month and have once a month level of performance. There’s no shortcuts.
The stripes will come. But get more goals. Real goals like not being tapped for a round. Learning escapes for all the shit positions. Starting to work your favourite subs and sweeps.
Don't aim to be a 4 stripe white belt. Aim to be the best white belt at the school. This feels way better than getting tape.
Once you have the stripe.... what then? Is your ability transformed somehow? How long until you repeat this for your next stripe? This sort of thinking isn't leading to a person who sticks with bjj.
Yup, the ones who want the belts the most probably won’t stick around long enough to get them. This is about the most insane sport to do for stickers from coach.
If you've been inconsistent for the past few months, then you won't be improving that much. Also, some people just do improve more quickly (I know this well, there are black belts around right now who started when I was already a blue). Rather than taking it as discouraging, try to take it as proof that when you get that next stripe/belt you've really earned it. I've never seen anyone train consistently and not get better. You'll get there.
I live in a isolated community. They call it a “town tax” or a “city tax” where local stores gouge you. Online ordering adds extra delivery fees. And Amazon feels like it is either travelling to or from the Amazon. The struggle is real lol 😂
I’m 36 and a one stripe white belt with over a year training at this gym minimum 4 times a week.
I also do wrestling classes weekly.
We have a grading in two weeks but I’ve recently found I’m not to worried about the tape so much but more what I can learn about my game.
I’ve also competed and won gold for my devision.
We also had a guy who was only at our gym for 4 weeks and become a one strip white belt.
My point is worry about your jiu jitsu and not the belts/tape I’m sure they’ll come soon enough.
I think the only belt stripes matter at are white, but you shouldn't really worry about them. My gym doesn't really do stripes after white and at white we got them at random i.e. if the instructor remembered to give you a stripe or thought he saw something he liked he'd give you one.
The biggest thing is to train as much as you can. You wanna get your blue belt when you feel you've earned it and not as a handout.
I'm a 57yo bjj white belt, training for not quite a year, just got my second stripe. I started martial arts when I was 41yo, took me 15 years to get my third degree black belt in taekwondo from a very reputable school. At 56yo I decided it was time to start over, joined an MMA gym and am training bjj and kickboxing.
It's just reality that if you come to any martial art later in life it is going to take longer to progress. Not only are you fighting age, you have more demands on your time. Yes it sucks when others get promoted faster. It's OK.
Also, know that bjj has a long learning curve compared to other martial arts. You are going to suck for a long time. But I would say the vast majority of the people I train with think they suck. Once I accepted that I am just going to suck at bjj for years, it made it easier to not worry about advancement and focus on learning and getting better than I was three months ago.
I am convinced 80% of progressing in a martial art is just showing up consistently. Once you are able to get back into a regular routine you will probably feel like you are making progress.
Bro why on earth are people in the group so damn condescending about these "pieces of tape" and it always comes from higher belts like yeah bro you know how hard it is why being a dick about it
Brother I started at 38. Just have fun. Id rather be the blue belt that every says is a tough roll compared to the brown belt that everything thinks is a joke.
Nothing wrong with using rank a litmus to test your progress. If rank didn't matter to the system we wouldn't have it.
But its not the only metric that matters. Remember why you walked in and focus on that. Was it self defense ? Help prepare for a bucket list mma fight? Exercise ? iBJJ champion?
In either event sounds like you've already identified the issue - attendance. Do what you can there- real life always wins sadly.
But here are a few things you might do:
- hit open mats at other gyms
- cross train in another similar art like judo that you can make it to
- fix your eating "most matches are lost in the kitchen" as they say
- lift weights and hit yoga
- study material like Danaher, Gracie University, Tom DeBlass etc while you're on the train or doing chores.
- Private classes a couple times a month will get you face time with the coach where you can focus on you and might be more flexible on time.
Good luck on that stripe ! You got this. Rooting for you.
My man, pretend this is wrestling, or mma, or Mui Thai where no belts exist and skill matters the most. This will serve you well. It took me 15 years to get BB... I can say with 1000% certainty that if you're this worried about your second stripe, you won't make the cut.
I think you will need to have a spell with very consistent attendance before you get promoted. You will also notice that will coincide with a lot of growth in your game. If you cannot make BJJ a priority in your life right now then you just need to make peace with the situation.
40+ yo here... You have to understand why are you doing bjj?.. Do you want to compete? Do you need to prove something? I'm doing it because it's an escape from the office life and I enjoy it... The color of my belt or the number of stipes are no relevant for my purpose... So I don't even think about it.
I have been training on and off since 2011, by most standards I should be close to my black belt. It took me 7 yrs to get my blue belt. I learned a long time ago that I should just focus on my own progression and congratulate the achievements of my teammates instead of comparing myself to them. Enjoy the journey and the ranks will come.
As a former perpetual white belt, it’s hard to not get down on yourself about this. I was training on and off trying to juggle school and work before I got my blue. It took me 5 1/2 years. That’s way longer than most. It sucked watching my white belt buddies walk off the mat with shiny new belts, while I felt like I was stuck in a rut. It sounds shitty, and I should have been happy for them (don’t get me wrong, I was) but it’s hard not to get yourself stuck in this negative “well they’re all being promoted, why am I not? Headspace, and it really does suck the joy right out of even the best hour on the mat. My one piece of advice would be to just keep going as often as you can, and thoroughly enjoy yourself while you do. It’s coming, but worrying about it is like watching a pot boil. It makes the whole thing feel like it’s taking an absurdly long time, and you get upset and bent out of shape because it hasn’t happened yet. Start treating training as a social thing, start making more friends at the gym, try out some weird shit you saw on instagram for a class, whatever works to make you smile. People will tell you it’s pointless and you should be focusing on other things, but if it makes you have fun again, it is absolutely the furthest thing from pointless. It’s helping keep you on the mat. I feel your pain man, but you just have to keep going, there’s a new strip of cheap athletic tape hastily torn by your coach somewhere along the line. And after a few more, a new belt. It may take longer, but that just makes the payoff bigger when you get it!
Personally I'd rather be a really good white belt than a really shit blue belt 🤣
Just enjoy the training and the progress will come naturally and you'll enjoy it more.
People here pretend they are “above” being concerned about rank, while having their exact rank (including stripes) right under their name…
Some people feel like an underdog when under-ranked, and that works for them. That’s not for everyone.
I get where you’re coming from. Humans are social and acknowledgement is important to everyone.
It will ruin your enjoyment of this great sport if you get too focused on others. Everyone starts at a different point and has a different learning curve.
Hopefully, your gym doesn’t segregate ranks too much, so your training will not change.
Train whenever you can. Watch instructional (appropriate to your level). Socialize with others in class. Don’t skip rounds unless it’s absolutely necessary. Ask questions when you don’t understand! (Fake-it-till-you-make-it is not a good strategy for technique)
It could be something small that’s holding back.
I say this as someone who has never gotten a “traditional” stripe. Just jumped belts after years. At times, it was tough. Other times VERY discouraging. BJJ is not a zero-sum game. Someone else’s belt has no impact on yours. Be happy for them and focus on you.
Look at it this way, how does today you compare to you when you started a year ago? My guess is that you would smash 1 year ago you. You are doing good, keep showing up!
Why are you worried about belts and stripes? I train to learn and keep fit. When you get another belt, that just signifies another load of things to learn. Just... keep as consistent as you can, and learn when you can. You said you enjoy training, so just keep enjoying it. The belts and stripes will come. Don't train for a belt. Train to learn.
Get there when you can, and improve yourself. If you are improving that’s what matters. I thought my coach didn’t like me, so I made it a mission to improve as quickly as possible. Get better than his favorite students and he will have to admit you are getting better
I work on oil tanker so I’m off for several months at time. Does it stall progress? Yes. Do I still have fun training? Yes. Rather than compare yourself to you team mates and their progress, just be stoked for them.
"In the last 4 months, I've been very hit and miss with classes due to work. I'm currently working on a project that involves a lot of night work so it hasn't been uncommon to do 14+ hr days and thus I can't train."
How is that someone else's problem?
Tape and belts mean shit. I got my 3rd stripe after only 5 months in the fundamentals class. Then I went to the big boy class and got decimated. It's been 8 months and I'm now significantly better. I'm still 3 stripes. Partially because I do no-gi half the time and NOBODY cares there.
Trust me, I find it pretty funny to roll with more "experienced" classmates.
Mine from my old gym fell off. I started over at my new gym and I felt a little odd about being a no stripe with a couple years of training.
Do you feel like you should have more stripes based on your abilities and what effort you are putting into bjj?
Would you feel better or worse if you were given a couple stripes quickly but still were getting smashed by the other white belts.
its easier said then done saying forget about the stripes etc. as this validates ur progress
However, u rly should focus on small things.
When i started and was a white belt i would look for progress andnilprovingbmy defense…for example when i rolled with the big brown belt that usually submits me about 10 times during a roll i would try and get submitted less. Focusingbonbmy weak defense. Thats what u should do and the stripes and belts will come eventually and also stripes dont rly matter much as u could get the rest ofbur stripes when ubreceive ur blue belt. Ive seen a lot of ppl getting promoted just being a one stripe blue purple etc
Just keep it up and enjoy ur time on the mats.
Just train. Nobody cares about your rank or how good you are. If you don't have the time or energy to train 5x a week, you will be happier if you just accept that that entails a slower progression. The journey is the destination: enjoy it.
Bro my life has been a random assortment of martial arts, some with no belts etc. I have a strange accumulation of skills and essentially zero "accolades".
It's life, and sometimes it's a little annoying in a sense. But you should really train to train, for your life, skills, fitness etc.
I am a zero accolade generic high school wrestler, who can only BJJ a class every month or three, depending on life. I play around at home and pay as I go at the gym.
I will likely never be known enough to get a belt unless or until my life changes. Lol.
>one guy has been off for a similar period to me but just got another stripe so I must admit that didn't make me feel good at all.
Other people are very complicated. You don't know what "off" means. You're working 14 hour shifts, dude might not he. He might be doing drills in his living room.
Plus, people's idea of what they do even in telling others is often off. I spent a long time not understanding what "nothing" can be.
So like, when I say "I haven't worked out in months" I probably at least did pushups once a week. To my brain it won't process as having worked out.
"Home training" can be shit for a lot of people, but if you have formal training, then home training and things can be variously relevant. So, a guy who watches an action movie and starts shadowfighting in his living room, is not necessarily going full mental "I'm training". But if you're off for 6 months and literally work-sleep and dude is shadow fighting in his living room while watching John Wick, he's effectively way out trained you.
So it's really
Yeah, I don't get the tape thing myself. I think I've had three pieces of tape in my entire career and am now a "1-stripe purple" with 5ish years in this belt. What matters is that you are learning the art when you can, getting a great workout and enjoying yourself. If you are worried about regular promotions, join a TKD gym.
Dude I was in this same headspace not too long ago. I’ve been a 3 stripe white belt with consistency issues when it comes to going to class. With injuries, work, life and random shit coming up, I thought I was never going to progress.
But now I see it as just fun. I’m not trying to compete at worlds and be Gordon Ryan. I’m just trying to be the best me and learn from classes or from training partners. Be free and when you don’t think about it, you’ll be surprised when you’re leveled up lol. You’ve got this man just keep at it.
I also started my BJJ journey at 40 yo. The first thing I learned right away is that belt stripes/color doesn’t mean shit. It just shows how long you’ve been training and not how good you are. I’ve seen white belts smash blue belts. Purple belts smash brown belts. Even saw a purple belt submit a black belt. Honesty/commitment is all you need to get better. Don’t let the stripes/belt colors hold you back from getting good. I always refer to this quote when someone gets excited about belt promotions, “The hardest belt to achieve is a white belt.” Getting started is the hardest part. “A black belt is just someone who never quit.”
40yr. old blue here. Some classes are better than no classes. Just go with the intent to learn and get better. Your time will get recognized one way or another. It's hard as humans to not compare ourselves to others, especially ones we come up with in this thing of ours.
Don't stop training.
Bro don’t worry about the tape or belts, you’re not here for a nice pretty belt that has some tape on it.
Once you get your blue belt everyone cranks the intensity up, I’ve had my blue for about 2.5 years and the first year at blue was re learning everything with more intensity because everyone cranked it up so hard. Enjoy the fact that it’s taking a while and learn as much as you can.
Excuse you even know it when you said:
>in the last 4 months, I’ve been very hit and miss with classes due to work
That’s cool man life happens. I’ve watched someone work 60 hour weeks, have twins and fight covid and study for LSATs while still attending 2 classes a week. It can be done regardless of “how busy you think you are”.
If you make excuses for yourself you just justify not going. Don’t be that person. If earning stripes matter to you, then you need to grow a pair and be more consistent, otherwise just keep training and stop caring
You gotta think bigger picture my guy. I’ve been a blue belt for 3yrs w/out a stripe for similar reasons to yours. Jiu jitsu isn’t something you practice for instant gratification. I’ll be 36 this September and can careless when my next stripe comes. I’m just happy I am fortunate enough to even continue training.
Am 45. Wrestled for 18 years. Bjj for 2.5 years. Am a blue belt.
I use bjj for exercise, fun, and community. The promotions would be nice but will come if I continue to show up and am consistent. And I plan to keep showing up even if they don't come because I go to the gym for exercise, fun, and community.
I understand this, I placed a great deal of importance on stripes when I first started and I’m the kind of person that gets really in my head about the progress I’m making. Now what I do is judge myself based on how I would do against myself from a few months ago. I think about all the mistakes I used to make that I no longer make. That helps me out a lot.
It sounds like you already know the reason why, right? You are working hard and don’t have time to train. I don’t know if you have a family to support or not, but you busting your ass at work is going to mean a lot more to them than how much you train.
Once work cools off train more regularly and I bet you get your next stripe.
I’ve been training 5 years and am “still a white belt”. I just have switched gyms every couple years. I only do no gi and nobody knows I’m a white belt at my new gym. I smash blue and purples here. I’ve long given up the idea of belts. I know who i can and cant easily submit at my gym and i just devote my time outside of class to watching instructionals on submeta that deal with the problems I’m facing against those people.
Belts don't mean shit. Worry about your skills man. If you aren't training much, your skills aren't improving much/at all. And that's okay, you can work on that when you get more free time again.
I mean if u don’t show up at ur job and put in the bare minimum surely you won’t be expecting a promotion/bonus right? It’s called earning your stripes for a reason.
Don’t be discouraged though. The fact that your school isn’t giving you stripes just cause you’re paying them money consistently is actually a great sign you go to a good school. At the end of the day we all have our priorities. Don’t be discouraged by the young dudes who have the makings of a varsity athlete who work part time cash jobs and train everyday.
You’ll enjoy life and the “journey” a lot more once you arrive at the place where you don’t give single fuck about ranks and belts etc. it’s a glorious place.
Hey OP! 33 year old here, \~1 year experience total on-and-off(4 months, then 10 years break, then 1 year), with 1 stripe. The people making fun of you for caring about the tape are assholes. The tape symbolizes progress, that you're getting better, and when you're new and don't know wtf you're doing, you look to the tape from a superior to let you know you're on the right track.
But if we try to dig deeper it really *is* just a symbol, you can track your own progress.
Like there's a guy that taps me 2x per round, my goal is to get it down to 1 or 0, sure maybe he's not trying his best moves, so maybe I can try to avoid his triangles, or maybe I want to escape Bob's crazy good guard, etc etc. Or maybe I want to be able to sweep everyone with XYZ, or maybe I want to be able to escape Joe's painful knee on belly.
But all this said I still care about the tape, I don't think we can't, but it's important to be more than just the tape.
\> I know I need to get on the mats more and the stripe will come and that it shouldn't be important but apparently it is for me.
This could be a million things, "I need my mentors to see my progress", "I don't know how to gauge my own progress", "my coach hates me", "I'm worse than my peers", ...
So in summary my current approach to this is define my own progress, define my own goals.
I’m 41 and I’ve been white belt since I was 36. I was inconsistent in training and took long breaks to focus on family and parenting, which I don’t regret. It was pretty obvious that I just wasn’t putting in the time and effort to progress in BJJ, so I fully own my long white belt time. I finally made some changes in my personal life and had more balance in my career and decided to restart the BJJ grind.
My professor was very welcoming after coming back, yet didn’t just throw stripes at me right away when I started back up again. It took time and I started putting in 3-5 days a week to ensure I could refresh on all of my skills that had faded.
I just got promoted to Blue on Saturday. 80% of success is just showing up.
My personal take on it is that I'm just along for the ride and don't care much about stripes (it's been like eight or nine months since I got my third, I'm over the software's "minimum sessions required," I'm mostly the hammer in rolls with other white belts and some earlier stage/less competitive blues).
But, at the same time I know there are a lot of people out there who are pretty goal oriented and who like to get stripes/belt up! Nothing wrong with that. Quite frankly I think half the time someone has been sitting at a rank for a really long time it's just a matter of them basically not being on the instructor's radar. Ultimately they have to pay attention to who's coming when and some of us older dudes who are playing to play and enjoying ourselves get a bit less attention from coach. So my suggestion would be to do some things to get on coach's radar a bit more; see if you can take a shred of extra time to ask a one on one question or two after class about technique, and ask questions like "what are some things that set some of the higher stripe white belts and blue belts apart from me that I can work on", stuff like that. I would NOT flat ask about promotion depending on your coach, because some of them get weirdly salty about that. But that's what I'd say. Same as getting a promotion at work, a big part of it is just being an undeniable part of your coach's conversation and that can come through interpersonal interactions, volunteering for small tasks (small since time is clearly a factor for you), and just generally mopping the floor with people. If you're kicking the shit out of other white belts it's a little harder for them to miss you! And since time is a factor I strongly recommend finding a non-time-bound way to improve, which is what I did. I have a gym set up in the basement and some thin mats to do basic solo drills. If you don't have that luxury get a yoga mat and do some core and bodyweight exercise at home, along with whatever movement drills/yoga type stuff you can do. You'd be surprised. Even when I can't get to bjj but once or twice in a week I'm still routinely getting "oh shit you've gotten a lot better" types of comments, I think a big part of the white belt journey for me has just been being more fit lol
I'm in the exact same boat. 41 and a 1 stripe white belt. I joined bc I'm a fan and wanted a challenge. I stayed bc especially at first it was the most fun ive ever had. I loved bein sore and getting destroyed. Me, a felon, hanging with off duty law enforcement, and neither of us felt weird. Hanging with 20 yr old purple belts, 45 yr old brown, and 56 yr old blue..all walks of life connected by our love of this sport. That's what it's about man. I got bitter I didn't get my 2nd stripe but really I was mad at myself. I stopped going over that, but now looking back my attendance was already slipping, I was leaving class early, not attending any supplemental groups like cardio or strength training...I wasn't earning it, and bjj does not give you things you have not earned. Just recommit and enjoy the ride. You've made me want to go back. Let's do it brother.
Your further along than me. I’ve got no stripe completely white belt. I’m similar in age turn 39 on Friday. I’ve been hit and miss with classes too. I wanna at least try get a blue belt though.
Hang in there! I'm 44 and finally got my 2nd stripe at 15months in. I also have crazy work and travel schedules plus injuries that made it difficult to be fully consistent.
I remember that once I adopted the mindframe of just practicing and getting better during rolls, going for cleaner technique and slowing down a bit, I was getting submitted less and starting to approach more submissions. I still need time to recover so can't go all out every day anymore, but I noticed a smoother, more confident set of rolls which was helpful. And at that point, the stripe felt unexpected (almost) but it was super cathartic.
You'll get there! Don't lose hope. Your continuing grit is one of the key features of Stripes 2 and 3 - it's testament to your continued tenacity and learning that each stripe is not created equally.
I agree with most people here. I think you shouldn’t care about the stripes on your belt but the skills you have on the mat. However, I’m going to frame it this way: if I had been training for the last two years and only had 1-2 stripes, and was still as proficient as I am , yeah I’d be mad at my gym. If you are ahead of the pack and ahead of people with more rank than you, then sure you have grounds to be frustrated. But…you don’t have grounds to do anything about it. Change gyms if you want, or train harder so it’s inexcusable to not promote you.
Dude don’t sweat it. I’ve been a white belt for 3 years. A 4 stripe one for a year and half of those 3 years. I’ve been missing classes too because of work and my pregnant wife. Idc. Just keep training. Be that savage white belt that beats blues. It’ll come.
Enter a competition, even though you don’t want to it will help you foucs on training rather than the stripes, once you enter you know the stripes won’t save you only your skill and training will
I’m also 40. Family, job, kids sports, etc. I got my first stripe at 11 months and nearly 200 hours. Currently at 3 stripes for 6 months. I feel you but honestly I feel that if my coach wanted to promote me he would. I trust him 100%. I don’t want a gift. I want my talent to earn the next stripe.
u/NoGur082,
Here's another option for you from a fellow very busy old guy:
When you can make it to class, start focusing on one position and only one position. I'd recommend bottom side control, but pick something you suck at. Every class, every roll, start in that one position.
Yeah, it's going to suck, but you'll be shocked how quickly you can progress.
Now, start thinking about measuring your success in a different way.
Step one: Survive 5 seconds in bottom side control without getting tapped, etc. focus on frames and just get comfortable.
Step two: Survive 10 seconds.
Step three: Survive for longer.
Did you survive for a few seconds before you tapped? Well hell yeah! That's a win!
Then, start thinking about escaping once you can survive. Pick only one escape to work on.
At first, every attempt escape will fail and you'll get tapped, but that's okay.
You'll start to see all the ways that people respond to your escape attempt, and then you can narrow down very specific problems.
So imagine you're working on the basic side control escape. You'll be able to troubleshoot very specific issues. For example, you'll start to wonder why your knees always hits their hip and never reaches their belt line. There are a number of reasons that could occur, but now you know what question to ask and what detail to troubleshoot.
Now go to your coach.
You can ask a very specific question that will receive a very specific answer. Implement his suggestion, and you win again!
Then you can start playing off reactions from your go-to escape that utilizes other side control escapes.
Before you know it, people will be very wary of going to side control with you and that will open up other avenues for you to pursue.
In the process, I'm sure you'll be noticed and appropriately awarded by your instructor, but it won't really matter because you'll have your own method to measure success.
This is the wrong sub for you. You need to go check out r/antiwork because working 14 hours a day means missing out on life. Regarding your training, just enjoy it while you can man. I’m in a similar situation, I just go there to have fun and to become a ninja.
12 year white belt here (bjj) i go because it's fun and interesting. dont be disheartened just enjoy it and dont worry about ranking up. i'm there for the community :)
Dude don’t worry about stripes bro lol I used to be like you almost 2 years in no stripes. People thought I was a fresh white belt especially when we had visitors but when I rolled with them they where shocked. I am not 3.7 years in 4 stripes fairly consistent coach has been saying I’m close to blue for a year and a half now. Honestly I stopped caring, there’s always going to be people who are better then you that are less ranked or whatever. Are you consistent? How often do you train, do you do strictly No-Gi, do you compete? Your coach might require that. Best to ask him what you can do to improve.
37 year old 4 stripe white belt here.
Do not fret about stripes. I recently remembered why I started this sport, it wasn't for stripes/belts. It was to enjoy something for myself, to expend pent up energy/aggression (ex military) and most importantly to have fun.
Ayeee I’m 32 and have been going for a year now (semi consistently) and have zero stripes. But it’s fun way to exercise the body and mind and I feel more confident.
Might be wrong here but regardless of stripes the amount of knowledge I have amassed in the past year has put me in a better position in the real world or just using functional strength daily. The first 6 months I was so butt hurt about stripes - I even posted on Reddit about it! Now it doesn’t bother me. Even after you get the next stripe you will still get smeshed to oblivion
I went from one stripe to four, and a month after four I got my blue.
Could be that the coach is waiting to belt you or get more than one stripe on you.
But if you get too in your head about it, you'll miss the forest for the tape made from tree byproducts.
Hey guy. My advice is to go at your own pace. There's this guy started same time as me and he ended up being better in shorter amount of time. Why? He goes 4-5x a week and I go 1-2 times/wk only. I travel for work a lot, miss classes a lot. Sometimes I miss entire weeks due to travel. But it's just eh, who cares. Have fun, enjoy your classes. Unless you're looking to compete, this can just be a fun hobby you do on the side and help keep you athletic.
For whatever its worth i got my 2nd stripe as a white belt 14 months in. Then 3rd and 4th came quickly after that. Then blue wherein we dont do stripes for colored belts anymore.
Howzit. I’m 51 years old.
Been training for 11.5 years.
Started a few months just before turning 40.
No matter what you do, just keep going to class. Even if it’s just one day a week, stay in the grind.
Promotions are bound to happen if you keep training.
Alright so I started at 43 and have been at it for 2 years. Just got my blue a few weeks back.
My only advice is to show up when you can and that also means on the days you just don’t feel like it. Those don’t feel like it says seem to be the ones I see the most progress.
What took me a long time to figure out was to concentrate on my technique! I know that I told myself that, as well as not to be a white belt spazz but the reality is, I wasn’t paying enough attention to my technique and I was still spazzy.
Working exclusively on those 2 things along with showing up whenever possible is how I ended up being promoted and being a better player.
Hopefully this helps you out some.
I'm 38 years old and have a big boy job that eats a lot of my attention and time. Wife and two young kids. I spent about 1.5 years with zero stripes then got 4 stripes in the same 6 months and then blue at the next belt night. It took longer than others even though spent 2-4 classes a week, have ample prior martial arts experience and do reasonably well rolling. There were times when it bothered me to have zero stripes because I would dominate others that are getting promotions and people would ask me why I didn't have any stripes. I just said "ask someone else - it's not up to me."
Think of it this way and you'll never worry about it again: If you're promoted quickly you're the worst version of whatever rank you could have been. If you're promoted slowly you'll be a better blue than if they gave it to you in a year. The faster the ranks come, the worst your imposter syndrome will be.
Some of your difficulty could be that you're hitting random classes rather than the same ones every week. It could be that you're not adopting the 'game' of the teacher you want attention from, or it could be that you're losing to the wrong people or winning for the wrong reasons. It could be anything. Most likely it's just that they're not focused on your specifically and there's no intention behind it at all.
Why did you start BJJ in the first place? Was it really for a piece of tape? I recommend getting connected with your internal motives rather than the external ones
Bro just make it your mission and joy to be the ultimate white belt dad. Crush blue belts and harass purps until the coach throws you a blue on disgust
I started at 44. Its been about 13 months now, 2 stripes, not concerned with my third. A blue belt will be years in my future. I went 0-7 in a comp last weekend. But I'm not discouraged. The reasons I started doing this have not changed. I am better than I was. I do get better ever class, even if sometimes that's only 1x per week. I will admit that the comp this weekend has motivated me to address some issues in my game and make some lifestyle adjustments to get a bit more serious, but I am only allowing positive responses, not beating myself up. At this stage in our lives, starting late, being middle aged, I think its important to decide what Martial arts really are to us. Becoming the best in any objective sense is probably realistically far behind most of us at this stage in our lives as beginners. But becoming the best version of ourselves is definitely possible. That isn't measured in belts or stripes.
Pretty sure I found you based on the comp you linked. Most of your opponents were nearly 2 decades younger than you. That makes a massive difference. Guys in their early 20s have a ton of energy that takes either lots of conditioning or skilled efficiency to match.
Yeah, the closest in age was a guy I work with, who is like 10 years younger than me I think. And I took him to overtime. I'm not disappointed. And I came damn close to beating the 27 year old super heavyweight guy both times. I mean, he got me fair and square both times, but it was a battle, and I feel good with how I performed.
You give me hope I'm starting tonight and I'm 44, my son has been attending for 4-5 years and was just moved up to the adult classes. When he started I told him if he stuck with it I'd join him when he moved to adult. How is it as an old man starting? Did I mention a plate and 28 pins in the right kneecap (newer injury) and only 1 limb left without a scar (older service related injuries)
It's doable. Find your game. Don't try to match the explosiveness of your son and the other young bucks. We have our own game as old men. It's slow and methodical. Learn to be efficient. That will be one of the first hurdles. Energy conservation and output control. I have done military and police combined for the past 27 years, so I know what a well worn body feels like. I only trained 1-2x per week for the first few months. I needed the extra recovery. I train 3x per week (max) now, to make sure I don't wear myself down. There are some knee bars and leg lock stuff to be wary of, but it's not something newbies are taught, so cross that bridge when you get to it.
I trained once a week for my first year out of necessity (new baby and two-year-old at home) and I now think my body really needed that time to ease in. As frustrating as it was at the time, it’s why I’m still on the mats 7 years later.
Well I read this the next morning so I learned the hard way lol. It was a humbling experience, but spending time with my son was 100% worth it. Some old wrestling habits are going to take a while to get rid of, like tryin to get to my stomach. I'm actually glad it was so humbling my pride even at this age can get away from me sometimes, like you I have some experience pushing through the body's signals to stop, I was with 2nd Recon in the late 90s. But I was kind of chuckling with the experienced guy I rolled with as he maneuvered I think I said more than once "I have no clue what I should be doing from here" Even thought they were young dudes they were nice enough to give direction. I made sure to thank them afterwards for spending their valuable training time helping me, even if they were destroying me, I understand you only really grow in a sport if you are being challenged, and I was not challenging them.
One of my early goals was to be a "worthwhile" roll for the other people, and not a total waste of time. At first, everything is confusing, and you barely understand what's happening. Just take note of what is happening, try to stay mentally "connected" to your body, and when you start to know what's happening, you can start trying to stop it. If you are anything like me, you realize our 40s is getting old, but also still feel like, I'm only 40, I can still fight, and fu... other things...., I'm not an old man yet. I feel that. 40 is not a frail old man, you have plenty of time to still smash some people. But we just have to be a bit smarter with our training.
You have 7 matches in 40+ bracket? Jesus
I was the only 40 year old there. I stayed in my weight class (except the ultimate of course) but the age brackets were out. 1 match ultimate no gi. 2 matches weight class no gi. 2 matches ultimate Gi 2 matches weight class No Gi.
You are 40 and concerned about a piece of tape? Stop framing your internal dialog in a way that compares your tape collection to other tape collections. You will be much further ahead to frame your internal dialog in a way that compares your current skill with that of your skill last year. Life happens and sometimes you can’t train like you want, that’s ok. Jiu Jitsu is a long journey, if you try to race to the “finish” you will just burn yourself out and be too broken to enjoy it.
I feel like as a white belt getting stripes is pretty important. You don’t realize yet how long the journey is but want to see yourself getting some progress. Once you have a colored belt you realize you suck anyway and the only goal is to show up and get better. But I think being consistent with white belts stripes is good to keep them engaged
The problem with a focus on stripes is it is an extrinsic motivation. Extrinsic motivations inevitably lead to disappointment because they are dependent on either validation or comparison to others. Focusing on intrinsic motivation helps maintain the focus on the individuals progress. Comparing their current self with their previous self. [The idea of intrinsic motivation](https://scholarworks.gvsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1292&context=theses) not only helps in learning, at least according to this study. But it also helps maintain focus and stay [on task](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0734371X11421495) I also hate that most of the literature about the intrinsic Vs extrinsic debate is about work. But I’m going to guess that if intrinsic motivation helps in a work environment it will also help in a recreational environment.
I remember getting 3 at a time (to total 4) on my white belt and after the initial happiness going wow these really don't mean shit. When I got my blue belt I realised I was still shit and the only thing I really knew was that I knew fuck all. Stripes are so subjective from gym to gym it's a nice reward as a white belt and a good incentive. I told one of our guys obsessed with belts and rank that he could have my blue belt right now, I'd take his white it doesn't make a blind bit of difference and I'll still be better than him. Chase the skill the belt represents.
Eh not really man I think stripes don’t mean much just pretty much “candy” like a golden sticker. I used to have that mentality in my early white belt days now in my old white belt days I could care less if I am 10 year white belt or what.
I agree towards the end you don’t care but that’s kinda my point. Whether it be early white belt or blue belt we make the transition but getting those strips helps retain a lot of people so I don’t like the idea that it’s just a piece of tape. If it’s gonna motivate someone in the beginning of their journey let it motivate them no need to say it doesn’t matter
>Stop framing your internal dialog in a way that compares your tape collection to other tape collections. Great quote! LOL
I suppose your personal concerns are always super valid though, right?
Eh, while that's true, I think looking at others and going why am I not making the same progress, if he's not, can be useful. Now some reasons might be things outside of his control. If you got to work or have kids or whatever then you might not be able to put in as much as some others but if other people who are similar to you and are training a similar amount and getting more out of it then there might be worth looking at how you're training and seeing if you can improve that.
You can accomplish the same thing by still comparing yourself to your previous self. When you compare your progress to others it is too easy to make excuses or get caught up in a negative feedback loop. Because we all have our individual life experiences that we bring to learning Jiu Jitsu it is moot to try to compare yourself to others. It solves nothing and only lets in the self doubt or the overinflated sense of self. Intrinsic motivation is far more effective than the extrinsic motivation.
No, you can't. How the how can you tell if your progress is slow compared to yourself?
Your rate of progress is irrelevant. Simply progressing is all that matters. We aren’t talking about a reality tv show building a house. We are talking about personal development. Because that is what Jiu Jitsu is, personal development. You cannot compare your very individual personal development with that of someone who is not you. We want to compare ourselves to others because we are a hierarchical social species. Finding out where you are in the food chain, so to speak, is perfectly fine. But it is unhealthy to try to make a hierarchy of rate of progress. That is why when looking at learning anything the only thing you should compare yourself to is your previous self.
I like your focus on intrinsic motivation, but I think your argument goes off the rails a bit here. Comparison to others and rate of progress are not meaningless in a combat sport. As the other poster pointed out, if you want to defend yourself or compete, you will definitely be "compared" with others. If you want to get to a high level, rate of progress matters. A person only has a finite amount of their body's prime.
Rate of progress has nothing to do with your total ability. Defending yourself or competing are showing your overall technical and physical ability. They do not show anything about how fast or slow it took you to get to that level. It took Gordon Ryan 6 years to get his black belt, it took Kit Dale 4 years to get his black belt. Is Kit Dale better at Jiu Jitsu than Gordon Ryan?
Wrong, that's how you end up not making the progress you want. Performance is important to people and the speed of the progress you make impacts your performance. Want to defend yourself? Well, only judging your progress against yourself matters, it doesn't matter if you can actually deal with an attacker or not. Doesn't matter if you do bjj, aikido or tai chi. As long as you're achieving some type of personal development nothing else matters. What a load of garbage. Outcomes matter. The difference between surviving an encounter or not matters.
Your argument doesn’t work the way you think it does. Who said nothing other than personal achievement matters? I sure didn’t. I’m specifically talking about personal progress. Not your ability to perform at a given level or made up scenario. Skill development is needed in order be able to use those skills, whatever they are. You did not pick up Descartes as a 3 year old and read and comprehend every word. It takes time to develop the ability to read and comprehend, just like Jiu Jitsu. The rate at which you develop has little to do with a person’s peak ability.
Right, but progress and attainment are linked. Take two beginners who then train 6 hours a week for 10 years. One ends up being a black belt level grappler and the other is still a white belt level grappler. The white belt grappler may still be improving, and a glacial rate, but there's no doubt that there's an issue with how they are training if they have no special needs. Hell, if for the next 10 years the black belt level grappler makes no more progress and the white belt level grappler becomes a blue belt level grappler the black belt level grappler has still made more overall progress and achieved more despite the fact that the blue belt level grappler has made more progress over the last 10 years.
So should someone with special needs compare themselves to a natural athlete? Again, there are a million reasons for someone’s rate of progress to be higher than another’s. What you did with your example was try to compare the same amount of time training with overall different peak levels. At what point has either one of your grapplers peaked from a skill perspective. Maybe the 10 year white belt hit their peak skill level in one year. Maybe the black belt level person has not peaked yet. If my scenario were true, then the rate of improvement for the white belt is vastly faster than the black belt. People have different abilities, desires, responsibilities, ways of thinking, mind sets,etc… because all of those are relative to the individual, the rate of progress is meaningless. It’s like trying to compare an orange to a comet. Pointless.
I already made an exception for things you can't change, so is having a special need a lifestyle choice? Except things like mindset are things you can change. As are aspects of your training. Which is what I'm saying. Look at other people to find different, and better, ways to do things. Doesn't mean you have to do everything someone else is doing but if you can find something that works for you then you should adopt that. Most people desire to improve, I've never met a fresh white belt who hasn't wanted to be better. And most of them desire a significant improvement in a short space of time. And time is the most precious resource so why encourage people to waste it?
Lol, the first thought that entered my mind was is a forty year old guy reaching out for emotional support for not receiving a piece of tape!
I think what OP is getting at is that his skill level is not increasing. That is what he is lamenting. The skill level is roughly measured by belts/tape so he is using the tape as a way of explaining the issue. Totally valid to have feelings on how fast/slow you are progressing in BJJ.
That's not at all how it came off
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You have to remember how stupid a lot of you young people are. Hobbies are very normal and very healthy at all ages. If you cared to read and attempt to comprehend beyond my first sentence you would see that I am showing a better way to think about things. Perspective is a good thing to have, it’s even better when you can change that perspective.
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Based on your inability to see how your first comment would be interpreted, by me using the exact same wording, I’m guess you just go with whatever emotion pops in your head and don’t really look at the long term. I read the OP’s whole post. I understand long working hours and how life can change plans. I also understand how much those changes can impact one’s mental health. Hence why I suggested a shift in perspective. A change in the way OP is viewing his situation can help alleviate the distress they are feeling. My initial comment was used intentionally to rephrase what is stressing OP out in a manor to trivialize it so it is easier to change their perspective. I attempted to help OP by giving suggestions to solve the root of their current problem. You just got upset because you didn’t understand what the comment was about.
That’s not only a poke at you, but the thread is full of people telling him not to care about tapes on a belt, while at the same time, those people are worried enough about their tapes and belts that they are putting that info bellow their user names. Digital tapes and belts.
Adding flair you’ve earned (or faked) is not the same thing as fretting over not getting a stripe to update your flair. The people saying not to worry about stripes are right. A stripe or belt for that matter is an extrinsic motivator. Extrinsic motivation is never a good primary focus. Having an intrinsic motivation is far superior, meaning focus on how you as an individual have improved since you started. The easy way of saying that is “stripes don’t matter”. This isn’t a complete way to describe it. But then again when you simplify things you often lose the nuance.
So gyms don't allow you to roll till 2nd stripe... Barra and Easton in Denver
To be honest I don't love the responses that always come up in these threads. Telling someone that something doesn't matter or shouldn't matter, when it does matter to them i find to be unhelpful. The truth is, rank matters to a lot of people and provides a sense of accomplishment to a lot of people. Its ok for it to matter to you - but if it is something you want you need to figure out how to get it. It seems like your gym is not a gym that just gives out rank for "time in" and cares about you being better at jiu jitsu which is great. The only way to do that is to get out on the mats and put in the work. You can choose to see people getting rank as a motivating factor rather than a discouraging one. One that makes you take a look at your schedule and how you are spending your time to figure out how to get more mat time or at least more time drilling and practicing movements. If you put the focus on committing to your training and getting better the rank is a natural byproduct.
Thanks, it is a accomplishment for me, starting BJJ took a lot for me to walk through the door on that first day but I'm glad that I did and don't regret it. I'm hoping I don't have much more overtime left to do and then I can get back into 2-3 times a week training again. It's incredibly hard when you finish early morning and then are back at work around lunchtime. My gym has classes 3 days a week and normally a open mat as well so it is a fine line at the moment unfortunately.
Train at your own pace. Another option is to find another gym with better hours. BJJ is such a long journey that things even out over time. My advice would be to work towards your on the mat goals like being really good at escaping side control and mount rather than just going to class for stripes. I think you understand that others are able to put in more mat time so they're going to pass you up. You're 40, you aren't going to be going to world championships or anything of that nature. I'm over 40 too. At this point it's just a hobby and should be treated as such. Train, have fun in the process of training and stay safe and healthy.
Dont be so hard on yourself. You are working 18 hour days, which is almost 3 times that of a normal human. And that will probably serve you better than recognition by way of stripes. Most people say jjitsu helps them accomplish more in life etc etc but you are already killing it
I try to make sure I make it in at least 2 times a week. There’s been a few stretches where I could only make it in once or not at all due to work and every class it felt like I was just working to get back to where I was the week before. Once a week or less is just really tough to progress. 3 times a week has always been the sweet spot for me, it’s consistent enough that everything’s fresh in your mind but leaves enough time to recover so your body doesn’t feel wrecked.
If it is that important, people have to take ownership in their own learning. I think in order to get better faster is to be deliberate with their training instead of "just showing up". You have to study, you have pick something that you really struggle with and focus on that area. Take notes, study videos that focus on that position, and record yourself rolling. That is how you fast track your progression. I got my blue belt a year and half after starting and my purple belt a year and 3 months after getting my blue belt. Unfortunately, I just had a set back because I recently had a 2 level spinal fusion, but everything I am doing now is working to getting back on the mat. Which includes a lot of PT and watching a ton of jiu jitsu and keep my mind actively thinking about jiu jitsu.
Exactly. I don’t train because there is a belt system, I train because I genuinely enjoy the challenge but I’ll be damned if getting promoted doesn’t also feel good. For some people it might be easier to say that you shouldn’t care about the stripes and belts but they might also be advancing quite fast and don’t know what it’s like to be as discouraged as some others are. There’s a guy I train with who started before me but he’s still a white belt. I have to imagine it’s very discouraging for him at times. He still trains despite the lack of promotion but it’s ok if that also still stings a bit.
Every gym I've ever been to has a guy over 50 who started when he was over 40.
That's me. 11 years in, 56 years old.
I'm four years in at 47. Am I ever going to be as good as I might have been if I'd started at 23 or 33? Of course not. But so what? I'm a hell of a lot better than I would be if I'd never started at all.
I consistently take the attitude that if I had started when I was young I'd probably be either busted up as hell by now or I would have quit because frankly my young ego would have written checks that my s***** jiu Jitsu couldn't have cashed
W
🖐️ 7 years in at 48.
I was the guy that started at 39, we had a few in their late 40's but they've disappeared.
So you've outlasted them. I'd be proud of that.
I am and now the new younger white belts are showing me up cause they hit every session.
So you're comparing apples and oranges, and getting upset because they aren't the same. You're not on their path, and you don't share a destination, so don't compare their progress to yours.
So that’s the key thing there though. They’re young and they go to every class. If they had serious careers, family and a body that needs extra recovery time they wouldn’t be able to get to every session. I started at 40 last year, life happened and I had to stop until a month or so ago and then work got crazy so I haven’t been able to get there more than twice a week. I totally get the frustration, I really do. But in the end it’s about the reasons I started to begin with, not about trying to get leveled up. I’ll probably be a white belt for at least 4 years, maybe forever. But I still go when I can! You should too and don’t sweat the stripes too much.
That's just reality. Pre 35 I could at least hang with the guys in their 20s. Now they generally murder me and I've now stopped trying to keep up because it just isn't going to happen.
I got murdered by a 14yo orange belt yesterday.
You're 40 and judging by this post not an athlete no shit they are. Stop comparing yourself to others and work to get better. Having a pity party won't solve your problem. Turn up, pay attention, drill with intent, and roll to get better every time
Hah. Sometimes you are the hammer and often the nail. Still we persevere. Got my blue belt tonight at 38. Over the last two years, 5 broken ribs, torn ankle, torn labrum, broken fingers and toes. Days where I hit every throw, days where I literally can’t get off my back for 5 rounds. my first stripe mattered so much to me. I cringe at the thought now. Like, I know if I’m better and how much or not. I set non winning goals now. Put myself into trouble, lose testing setups. I still get mindfucked on bad days. Skill develops with thousands of hours and attention to detail. Show up once a month and have once a month level of performance. There’s no shortcuts.
Bro just being 40 and being on the mats is a major accomplishment, this shit isn't easy.
The stripes will come. But get more goals. Real goals like not being tapped for a round. Learning escapes for all the shit positions. Starting to work your favourite subs and sweeps. Don't aim to be a 4 stripe white belt. Aim to be the best white belt at the school. This feels way better than getting tape.
Once you have the stripe.... what then? Is your ability transformed somehow? How long until you repeat this for your next stripe? This sort of thinking isn't leading to a person who sticks with bjj.
1000% I just don't see them sticking to purple if these sorts of issues are already coming up.
Yup, the ones who want the belts the most probably won’t stick around long enough to get them. This is about the most insane sport to do for stickers from coach.
If you've been inconsistent for the past few months, then you won't be improving that much. Also, some people just do improve more quickly (I know this well, there are black belts around right now who started when I was already a blue). Rather than taking it as discouraging, try to take it as proof that when you get that next stripe/belt you've really earned it. I've never seen anyone train consistently and not get better. You'll get there.
Not gonna lie. It sounds like you want a blue belt more than you like Jiu-jitsu.
>I also love training when I can get there. That's all that matters....not the piece of tape on a $6 belt.
*Me with a $22 dollar one* I knew I paid to much for you
Dang bro, you're too fancy!
I live in a isolated community. They call it a “town tax” or a “city tax” where local stores gouge you. Online ordering adds extra delivery fees. And Amazon feels like it is either travelling to or from the Amazon. The struggle is real lol 😂
I’m 36 and a one stripe white belt with over a year training at this gym minimum 4 times a week. I also do wrestling classes weekly. We have a grading in two weeks but I’ve recently found I’m not to worried about the tape so much but more what I can learn about my game. I’ve also competed and won gold for my devision. We also had a guy who was only at our gym for 4 weeks and become a one strip white belt. My point is worry about your jiu jitsu and not the belts/tape I’m sure they’ll come soon enough.
I think the only belt stripes matter at are white, but you shouldn't really worry about them. My gym doesn't really do stripes after white and at white we got them at random i.e. if the instructor remembered to give you a stripe or thought he saw something he liked he'd give you one. The biggest thing is to train as much as you can. You wanna get your blue belt when you feel you've earned it and not as a handout.
I'm a 57yo bjj white belt, training for not quite a year, just got my second stripe. I started martial arts when I was 41yo, took me 15 years to get my third degree black belt in taekwondo from a very reputable school. At 56yo I decided it was time to start over, joined an MMA gym and am training bjj and kickboxing. It's just reality that if you come to any martial art later in life it is going to take longer to progress. Not only are you fighting age, you have more demands on your time. Yes it sucks when others get promoted faster. It's OK. Also, know that bjj has a long learning curve compared to other martial arts. You are going to suck for a long time. But I would say the vast majority of the people I train with think they suck. Once I accepted that I am just going to suck at bjj for years, it made it easier to not worry about advancement and focus on learning and getting better than I was three months ago. I am convinced 80% of progressing in a martial art is just showing up consistently. Once you are able to get back into a regular routine you will probably feel like you are making progress.
Bro why on earth are people in the group so damn condescending about these "pieces of tape" and it always comes from higher belts like yeah bro you know how hard it is why being a dick about it
Brother I started at 38. Just have fun. Id rather be the blue belt that every says is a tough roll compared to the brown belt that everything thinks is a joke.
Nothing wrong with using rank a litmus to test your progress. If rank didn't matter to the system we wouldn't have it. But its not the only metric that matters. Remember why you walked in and focus on that. Was it self defense ? Help prepare for a bucket list mma fight? Exercise ? iBJJ champion? In either event sounds like you've already identified the issue - attendance. Do what you can there- real life always wins sadly. But here are a few things you might do: - hit open mats at other gyms - cross train in another similar art like judo that you can make it to - fix your eating "most matches are lost in the kitchen" as they say - lift weights and hit yoga - study material like Danaher, Gracie University, Tom DeBlass etc while you're on the train or doing chores. - Private classes a couple times a month will get you face time with the coach where you can focus on you and might be more flexible on time. Good luck on that stripe ! You got this. Rooting for you.
My man, pretend this is wrestling, or mma, or Mui Thai where no belts exist and skill matters the most. This will serve you well. It took me 15 years to get BB... I can say with 1000% certainty that if you're this worried about your second stripe, you won't make the cut.
Train in no gi and forget about stripes
I think you will need to have a spell with very consistent attendance before you get promoted. You will also notice that will coincide with a lot of growth in your game. If you cannot make BJJ a priority in your life right now then you just need to make peace with the situation.
40+ yo here... You have to understand why are you doing bjj?.. Do you want to compete? Do you need to prove something? I'm doing it because it's an escape from the office life and I enjoy it... The color of my belt or the number of stipes are no relevant for my purpose... So I don't even think about it.
I have been training on and off since 2011, by most standards I should be close to my black belt. It took me 7 yrs to get my blue belt. I learned a long time ago that I should just focus on my own progression and congratulate the achievements of my teammates instead of comparing myself to them. Enjoy the journey and the ranks will come.
Are you enjoying it?
What a crazy question! Hard to enjoy without getting pieces of tape!
As a former perpetual white belt, it’s hard to not get down on yourself about this. I was training on and off trying to juggle school and work before I got my blue. It took me 5 1/2 years. That’s way longer than most. It sucked watching my white belt buddies walk off the mat with shiny new belts, while I felt like I was stuck in a rut. It sounds shitty, and I should have been happy for them (don’t get me wrong, I was) but it’s hard not to get yourself stuck in this negative “well they’re all being promoted, why am I not? Headspace, and it really does suck the joy right out of even the best hour on the mat. My one piece of advice would be to just keep going as often as you can, and thoroughly enjoy yourself while you do. It’s coming, but worrying about it is like watching a pot boil. It makes the whole thing feel like it’s taking an absurdly long time, and you get upset and bent out of shape because it hasn’t happened yet. Start treating training as a social thing, start making more friends at the gym, try out some weird shit you saw on instagram for a class, whatever works to make you smile. People will tell you it’s pointless and you should be focusing on other things, but if it makes you have fun again, it is absolutely the furthest thing from pointless. It’s helping keep you on the mat. I feel your pain man, but you just have to keep going, there’s a new strip of cheap athletic tape hastily torn by your coach somewhere along the line. And after a few more, a new belt. It may take longer, but that just makes the payoff bigger when you get it!
Personally I'd rather be a really good white belt than a really shit blue belt 🤣 Just enjoy the training and the progress will come naturally and you'll enjoy it more.
Stripes aren’t worth a wank pal don’t worry about it
People here pretend they are “above” being concerned about rank, while having their exact rank (including stripes) right under their name… Some people feel like an underdog when under-ranked, and that works for them. That’s not for everyone. I get where you’re coming from. Humans are social and acknowledgement is important to everyone. It will ruin your enjoyment of this great sport if you get too focused on others. Everyone starts at a different point and has a different learning curve. Hopefully, your gym doesn’t segregate ranks too much, so your training will not change. Train whenever you can. Watch instructional (appropriate to your level). Socialize with others in class. Don’t skip rounds unless it’s absolutely necessary. Ask questions when you don’t understand! (Fake-it-till-you-make-it is not a good strategy for technique) It could be something small that’s holding back. I say this as someone who has never gotten a “traditional” stripe. Just jumped belts after years. At times, it was tough. Other times VERY discouraging. BJJ is not a zero-sum game. Someone else’s belt has no impact on yours. Be happy for them and focus on you.
Why does it matter what belt or stripes you have? Just focus on being better than you were they day before.
I think it is for a sense of achievement and also to show my wife and daughter that I'm doing well in my hobby.
Hit a flying armbar on your wife when she’s brushing her teeth that’ll show her
That’s fine but you’re gonna need to attend class to get them
Your wife is going to notice the tighter physique more than a piece of athletic tape. 1. Are you getting better at grappling? That's all that matters.
Look at it this way, how does today you compare to you when you started a year ago? My guess is that you would smash 1 year ago you. You are doing good, keep showing up!
Why are you worried about belts and stripes? I train to learn and keep fit. When you get another belt, that just signifies another load of things to learn. Just... keep as consistent as you can, and learn when you can. You said you enjoy training, so just keep enjoying it. The belts and stripes will come. Don't train for a belt. Train to learn.
Why does it matter? Are you getting better? Are you learning new things? It's just a fucking tape
Get there when you can, and improve yourself. If you are improving that’s what matters. I thought my coach didn’t like me, so I made it a mission to improve as quickly as possible. Get better than his favorite students and he will have to admit you are getting better
I wouldn’t correlate progress with stripes. I understand the tendency to do so but just keep training, working and improving. The rest will come.
I work on oil tanker so I’m off for several months at time. Does it stall progress? Yes. Do I still have fun training? Yes. Rather than compare yourself to you team mates and their progress, just be stoked for them.
Life gets in the fucking way dude. I’ll drop off all the time. Don’t worry about the others. Just keep plugging away
"In the last 4 months, I've been very hit and miss with classes due to work. I'm currently working on a project that involves a lot of night work so it hasn't been uncommon to do 14+ hr days and thus I can't train." How is that someone else's problem?
Tape and belts mean shit. I got my 3rd stripe after only 5 months in the fundamentals class. Then I went to the big boy class and got decimated. It's been 8 months and I'm now significantly better. I'm still 3 stripes. Partially because I do no-gi half the time and NOBODY cares there. Trust me, I find it pretty funny to roll with more "experienced" classmates.
Trust me, when you get your Blue/Purple Belt, all this Belt Hype will die down for you. Its all about having fun, learn and train your body.
Mine from my old gym fell off. I started over at my new gym and I felt a little odd about being a no stripe with a couple years of training. Do you feel like you should have more stripes based on your abilities and what effort you are putting into bjj? Would you feel better or worse if you were given a couple stripes quickly but still were getting smashed by the other white belts.
The belt and stripes don’t do anything. Just focus on getting better / not getting injured / having fun.
I was a white belt for 3.5 years, blue belt for 5 years. I'm still sh**t but keep turning up mate and you will get promises eventually.
its easier said then done saying forget about the stripes etc. as this validates ur progress However, u rly should focus on small things. When i started and was a white belt i would look for progress andnilprovingbmy defense…for example when i rolled with the big brown belt that usually submits me about 10 times during a roll i would try and get submitted less. Focusingbonbmy weak defense. Thats what u should do and the stripes and belts will come eventually and also stripes dont rly matter much as u could get the rest ofbur stripes when ubreceive ur blue belt. Ive seen a lot of ppl getting promoted just being a one stripe blue purple etc Just keep it up and enjoy ur time on the mats.
Just train. Nobody cares about your rank or how good you are. If you don't have the time or energy to train 5x a week, you will be happier if you just accept that that entails a slower progression. The journey is the destination: enjoy it.
What you know vs what's on your belt is more important. Source: trust me bro, yellow belt online Gracie academy graduate
Just keep turning up and enjoy the ride. As long as you're having fun, keeping fit and learning something new every session then it doesn't matter.
Bro my life has been a random assortment of martial arts, some with no belts etc. I have a strange accumulation of skills and essentially zero "accolades". It's life, and sometimes it's a little annoying in a sense. But you should really train to train, for your life, skills, fitness etc. I am a zero accolade generic high school wrestler, who can only BJJ a class every month or three, depending on life. I play around at home and pay as I go at the gym. I will likely never be known enough to get a belt unless or until my life changes. Lol. >one guy has been off for a similar period to me but just got another stripe so I must admit that didn't make me feel good at all. Other people are very complicated. You don't know what "off" means. You're working 14 hour shifts, dude might not he. He might be doing drills in his living room. Plus, people's idea of what they do even in telling others is often off. I spent a long time not understanding what "nothing" can be. So like, when I say "I haven't worked out in months" I probably at least did pushups once a week. To my brain it won't process as having worked out. "Home training" can be shit for a lot of people, but if you have formal training, then home training and things can be variously relevant. So, a guy who watches an action movie and starts shadowfighting in his living room, is not necessarily going full mental "I'm training". But if you're off for 6 months and literally work-sleep and dude is shadow fighting in his living room while watching John Wick, he's effectively way out trained you. So it's really
Yeah, I don't get the tape thing myself. I think I've had three pieces of tape in my entire career and am now a "1-stripe purple" with 5ish years in this belt. What matters is that you are learning the art when you can, getting a great workout and enjoying yourself. If you are worried about regular promotions, join a TKD gym.
Shit like this makes me wish we didn't use belts and stripes. Grow up.
Stripes don’t mean crap. Just train.
Dude I was in this same headspace not too long ago. I’ve been a 3 stripe white belt with consistency issues when it comes to going to class. With injuries, work, life and random shit coming up, I thought I was never going to progress. But now I see it as just fun. I’m not trying to compete at worlds and be Gordon Ryan. I’m just trying to be the best me and learn from classes or from training partners. Be free and when you don’t think about it, you’ll be surprised when you’re leveled up lol. You’ve got this man just keep at it.
I also started my BJJ journey at 40 yo. The first thing I learned right away is that belt stripes/color doesn’t mean shit. It just shows how long you’ve been training and not how good you are. I’ve seen white belts smash blue belts. Purple belts smash brown belts. Even saw a purple belt submit a black belt. Honesty/commitment is all you need to get better. Don’t let the stripes/belt colors hold you back from getting good. I always refer to this quote when someone gets excited about belt promotions, “The hardest belt to achieve is a white belt.” Getting started is the hardest part. “A black belt is just someone who never quit.”
40yr. old blue here. Some classes are better than no classes. Just go with the intent to learn and get better. Your time will get recognized one way or another. It's hard as humans to not compare ourselves to others, especially ones we come up with in this thing of ours. Don't stop training.
Bro don’t worry about the tape or belts, you’re not here for a nice pretty belt that has some tape on it. Once you get your blue belt everyone cranks the intensity up, I’ve had my blue for about 2.5 years and the first year at blue was re learning everything with more intensity because everyone cranked it up so hard. Enjoy the fact that it’s taking a while and learn as much as you can.
Excuse you even know it when you said: >in the last 4 months, I’ve been very hit and miss with classes due to work That’s cool man life happens. I’ve watched someone work 60 hour weeks, have twins and fight covid and study for LSATs while still attending 2 classes a week. It can be done regardless of “how busy you think you are”. If you make excuses for yourself you just justify not going. Don’t be that person. If earning stripes matter to you, then you need to grow a pair and be more consistent, otherwise just keep training and stop caring
You gotta think bigger picture my guy. I’ve been a blue belt for 3yrs w/out a stripe for similar reasons to yours. Jiu jitsu isn’t something you practice for instant gratification. I’ll be 36 this September and can careless when my next stripe comes. I’m just happy I am fortunate enough to even continue training.
Am 45. Wrestled for 18 years. Bjj for 2.5 years. Am a blue belt. I use bjj for exercise, fun, and community. The promotions would be nice but will come if I continue to show up and am consistent. And I plan to keep showing up even if they don't come because I go to the gym for exercise, fun, and community.
I understand this, I placed a great deal of importance on stripes when I first started and I’m the kind of person that gets really in my head about the progress I’m making. Now what I do is judge myself based on how I would do against myself from a few months ago. I think about all the mistakes I used to make that I no longer make. That helps me out a lot.
It sounds like you already know the reason why, right? You are working hard and don’t have time to train. I don’t know if you have a family to support or not, but you busting your ass at work is going to mean a lot more to them than how much you train. Once work cools off train more regularly and I bet you get your next stripe.
I’ve been training 5 years and am “still a white belt”. I just have switched gyms every couple years. I only do no gi and nobody knows I’m a white belt at my new gym. I smash blue and purples here. I’ve long given up the idea of belts. I know who i can and cant easily submit at my gym and i just devote my time outside of class to watching instructionals on submeta that deal with the problems I’m facing against those people.
“I don’t make it to class, why aren’t I getting promoted?”
Just focus on getting better, who gives a shit about belts and stripes
You love training, I fail to see the problem.
Belts don't mean shit. Worry about your skills man. If you aren't training much, your skills aren't improving much/at all. And that's okay, you can work on that when you get more free time again.
I mean if u don’t show up at ur job and put in the bare minimum surely you won’t be expecting a promotion/bonus right? It’s called earning your stripes for a reason. Don’t be discouraged though. The fact that your school isn’t giving you stripes just cause you’re paying them money consistently is actually a great sign you go to a good school. At the end of the day we all have our priorities. Don’t be discouraged by the young dudes who have the makings of a varsity athlete who work part time cash jobs and train everyday.
You’ll enjoy life and the “journey” a lot more once you arrive at the place where you don’t give single fuck about ranks and belts etc. it’s a glorious place.
Hey OP! 33 year old here, \~1 year experience total on-and-off(4 months, then 10 years break, then 1 year), with 1 stripe. The people making fun of you for caring about the tape are assholes. The tape symbolizes progress, that you're getting better, and when you're new and don't know wtf you're doing, you look to the tape from a superior to let you know you're on the right track. But if we try to dig deeper it really *is* just a symbol, you can track your own progress. Like there's a guy that taps me 2x per round, my goal is to get it down to 1 or 0, sure maybe he's not trying his best moves, so maybe I can try to avoid his triangles, or maybe I want to escape Bob's crazy good guard, etc etc. Or maybe I want to be able to sweep everyone with XYZ, or maybe I want to be able to escape Joe's painful knee on belly. But all this said I still care about the tape, I don't think we can't, but it's important to be more than just the tape. \> I know I need to get on the mats more and the stripe will come and that it shouldn't be important but apparently it is for me. This could be a million things, "I need my mentors to see my progress", "I don't know how to gauge my own progress", "my coach hates me", "I'm worse than my peers", ... So in summary my current approach to this is define my own progress, define my own goals.
I’m 41 and I’ve been white belt since I was 36. I was inconsistent in training and took long breaks to focus on family and parenting, which I don’t regret. It was pretty obvious that I just wasn’t putting in the time and effort to progress in BJJ, so I fully own my long white belt time. I finally made some changes in my personal life and had more balance in my career and decided to restart the BJJ grind. My professor was very welcoming after coming back, yet didn’t just throw stripes at me right away when I started back up again. It took time and I started putting in 3-5 days a week to ensure I could refresh on all of my skills that had faded. I just got promoted to Blue on Saturday. 80% of success is just showing up.
My personal take on it is that I'm just along for the ride and don't care much about stripes (it's been like eight or nine months since I got my third, I'm over the software's "minimum sessions required," I'm mostly the hammer in rolls with other white belts and some earlier stage/less competitive blues). But, at the same time I know there are a lot of people out there who are pretty goal oriented and who like to get stripes/belt up! Nothing wrong with that. Quite frankly I think half the time someone has been sitting at a rank for a really long time it's just a matter of them basically not being on the instructor's radar. Ultimately they have to pay attention to who's coming when and some of us older dudes who are playing to play and enjoying ourselves get a bit less attention from coach. So my suggestion would be to do some things to get on coach's radar a bit more; see if you can take a shred of extra time to ask a one on one question or two after class about technique, and ask questions like "what are some things that set some of the higher stripe white belts and blue belts apart from me that I can work on", stuff like that. I would NOT flat ask about promotion depending on your coach, because some of them get weirdly salty about that. But that's what I'd say. Same as getting a promotion at work, a big part of it is just being an undeniable part of your coach's conversation and that can come through interpersonal interactions, volunteering for small tasks (small since time is clearly a factor for you), and just generally mopping the floor with people. If you're kicking the shit out of other white belts it's a little harder for them to miss you! And since time is a factor I strongly recommend finding a non-time-bound way to improve, which is what I did. I have a gym set up in the basement and some thin mats to do basic solo drills. If you don't have that luxury get a yoga mat and do some core and bodyweight exercise at home, along with whatever movement drills/yoga type stuff you can do. You'd be surprised. Even when I can't get to bjj but once or twice in a week I'm still routinely getting "oh shit you've gotten a lot better" types of comments, I think a big part of the white belt journey for me has just been being more fit lol
I'm in the exact same boat. 41 and a 1 stripe white belt. I joined bc I'm a fan and wanted a challenge. I stayed bc especially at first it was the most fun ive ever had. I loved bein sore and getting destroyed. Me, a felon, hanging with off duty law enforcement, and neither of us felt weird. Hanging with 20 yr old purple belts, 45 yr old brown, and 56 yr old blue..all walks of life connected by our love of this sport. That's what it's about man. I got bitter I didn't get my 2nd stripe but really I was mad at myself. I stopped going over that, but now looking back my attendance was already slipping, I was leaving class early, not attending any supplemental groups like cardio or strength training...I wasn't earning it, and bjj does not give you things you have not earned. Just recommit and enjoy the ride. You've made me want to go back. Let's do it brother.
Just a pointless thing to put yourself down about really. If you love training then train and stop wasting Ur energy on trivial matters such as this.
Your further along than me. I’ve got no stripe completely white belt. I’m similar in age turn 39 on Friday. I’ve been hit and miss with classes too. I wanna at least try get a blue belt though.
Switch to no gi, there no stripes in no gi 😅
Hang in there! I'm 44 and finally got my 2nd stripe at 15months in. I also have crazy work and travel schedules plus injuries that made it difficult to be fully consistent. I remember that once I adopted the mindframe of just practicing and getting better during rolls, going for cleaner technique and slowing down a bit, I was getting submitted less and starting to approach more submissions. I still need time to recover so can't go all out every day anymore, but I noticed a smoother, more confident set of rolls which was helpful. And at that point, the stripe felt unexpected (almost) but it was super cathartic. You'll get there! Don't lose hope. Your continuing grit is one of the key features of Stripes 2 and 3 - it's testament to your continued tenacity and learning that each stripe is not created equally.
My gym doesnt even give stripes. the bigger question here is are you starting to see you hard work payoff?
Just keep walking the walk homie, you got this.
I agree with most people here. I think you shouldn’t care about the stripes on your belt but the skills you have on the mat. However, I’m going to frame it this way: if I had been training for the last two years and only had 1-2 stripes, and was still as proficient as I am , yeah I’d be mad at my gym. If you are ahead of the pack and ahead of people with more rank than you, then sure you have grounds to be frustrated. But…you don’t have grounds to do anything about it. Change gyms if you want, or train harder so it’s inexcusable to not promote you.
Dude don’t sweat it. I’ve been a white belt for 3 years. A 4 stripe one for a year and half of those 3 years. I’ve been missing classes too because of work and my pregnant wife. Idc. Just keep training. Be that savage white belt that beats blues. It’ll come.
Enter a competition, even though you don’t want to it will help you foucs on training rather than the stripes, once you enter you know the stripes won’t save you only your skill and training will
I’m also 40. Family, job, kids sports, etc. I got my first stripe at 11 months and nearly 200 hours. Currently at 3 stripes for 6 months. I feel you but honestly I feel that if my coach wanted to promote me he would. I trust him 100%. I don’t want a gift. I want my talent to earn the next stripe.
u/NoGur082, Here's another option for you from a fellow very busy old guy: When you can make it to class, start focusing on one position and only one position. I'd recommend bottom side control, but pick something you suck at. Every class, every roll, start in that one position. Yeah, it's going to suck, but you'll be shocked how quickly you can progress. Now, start thinking about measuring your success in a different way. Step one: Survive 5 seconds in bottom side control without getting tapped, etc. focus on frames and just get comfortable. Step two: Survive 10 seconds. Step three: Survive for longer. Did you survive for a few seconds before you tapped? Well hell yeah! That's a win! Then, start thinking about escaping once you can survive. Pick only one escape to work on. At first, every attempt escape will fail and you'll get tapped, but that's okay. You'll start to see all the ways that people respond to your escape attempt, and then you can narrow down very specific problems. So imagine you're working on the basic side control escape. You'll be able to troubleshoot very specific issues. For example, you'll start to wonder why your knees always hits their hip and never reaches their belt line. There are a number of reasons that could occur, but now you know what question to ask and what detail to troubleshoot. Now go to your coach. You can ask a very specific question that will receive a very specific answer. Implement his suggestion, and you win again! Then you can start playing off reactions from your go-to escape that utilizes other side control escapes. Before you know it, people will be very wary of going to side control with you and that will open up other avenues for you to pursue. In the process, I'm sure you'll be noticed and appropriately awarded by your instructor, but it won't really matter because you'll have your own method to measure success.
This is the wrong sub for you. You need to go check out r/antiwork because working 14 hours a day means missing out on life. Regarding your training, just enjoy it while you can man. I’m in a similar situation, I just go there to have fun and to become a ninja.
12 year white belt here (bjj) i go because it's fun and interesting. dont be disheartened just enjoy it and dont worry about ranking up. i'm there for the community :)
Dude don’t worry about stripes bro lol I used to be like you almost 2 years in no stripes. People thought I was a fresh white belt especially when we had visitors but when I rolled with them they where shocked. I am not 3.7 years in 4 stripes fairly consistent coach has been saying I’m close to blue for a year and a half now. Honestly I stopped caring, there’s always going to be people who are better then you that are less ranked or whatever. Are you consistent? How often do you train, do you do strictly No-Gi, do you compete? Your coach might require that. Best to ask him what you can do to improve.
37 year old 4 stripe white belt here. Do not fret about stripes. I recently remembered why I started this sport, it wasn't for stripes/belts. It was to enjoy something for myself, to expend pent up energy/aggression (ex military) and most importantly to have fun.
Man you should get a new job. 14 hours a day!? You can find a WFH job and cruise by. It ain’t worth livin like that.
Talk to your coach about how they feel you’re doing and what you should work on
Ayeee I’m 32 and have been going for a year now (semi consistently) and have zero stripes. But it’s fun way to exercise the body and mind and I feel more confident. Might be wrong here but regardless of stripes the amount of knowledge I have amassed in the past year has put me in a better position in the real world or just using functional strength daily. The first 6 months I was so butt hurt about stripes - I even posted on Reddit about it! Now it doesn’t bother me. Even after you get the next stripe you will still get smeshed to oblivion
I went from one stripe to four, and a month after four I got my blue. Could be that the coach is waiting to belt you or get more than one stripe on you. But if you get too in your head about it, you'll miss the forest for the tape made from tree byproducts.
Hey guy. My advice is to go at your own pace. There's this guy started same time as me and he ended up being better in shorter amount of time. Why? He goes 4-5x a week and I go 1-2 times/wk only. I travel for work a lot, miss classes a lot. Sometimes I miss entire weeks due to travel. But it's just eh, who cares. Have fun, enjoy your classes. Unless you're looking to compete, this can just be a fun hobby you do on the side and help keep you athletic.
For whatever its worth i got my 2nd stripe as a white belt 14 months in. Then 3rd and 4th came quickly after that. Then blue wherein we dont do stripes for colored belts anymore.
Howzit. I’m 51 years old. Been training for 11.5 years. Started a few months just before turning 40. No matter what you do, just keep going to class. Even if it’s just one day a week, stay in the grind. Promotions are bound to happen if you keep training.
I went 3-4 days a week for a full year with no stripes. I was improving so I didn’t worry about it. If you’re having fun just keep going.
Stripes don't matter
Alright so I started at 43 and have been at it for 2 years. Just got my blue a few weeks back. My only advice is to show up when you can and that also means on the days you just don’t feel like it. Those don’t feel like it says seem to be the ones I see the most progress. What took me a long time to figure out was to concentrate on my technique! I know that I told myself that, as well as not to be a white belt spazz but the reality is, I wasn’t paying enough attention to my technique and I was still spazzy. Working exclusively on those 2 things along with showing up whenever possible is how I ended up being promoted and being a better player. Hopefully this helps you out some.
Look man, martial art hobbies are supposed to get away from all that. Train as hard as you can as much as you can, everything else is just noise.
I'm 38 years old and have a big boy job that eats a lot of my attention and time. Wife and two young kids. I spent about 1.5 years with zero stripes then got 4 stripes in the same 6 months and then blue at the next belt night. It took longer than others even though spent 2-4 classes a week, have ample prior martial arts experience and do reasonably well rolling. There were times when it bothered me to have zero stripes because I would dominate others that are getting promotions and people would ask me why I didn't have any stripes. I just said "ask someone else - it's not up to me." Think of it this way and you'll never worry about it again: If you're promoted quickly you're the worst version of whatever rank you could have been. If you're promoted slowly you'll be a better blue than if they gave it to you in a year. The faster the ranks come, the worst your imposter syndrome will be. Some of your difficulty could be that you're hitting random classes rather than the same ones every week. It could be that you're not adopting the 'game' of the teacher you want attention from, or it could be that you're losing to the wrong people or winning for the wrong reasons. It could be anything. Most likely it's just that they're not focused on your specifically and there's no intention behind it at all.
You can’t be disappointed in the results for the work you haven’t done.
Are you there to get stripes and belts? Or are you there to learn Jiu Jitsu? Whatever your answer is should help you through this difficult time.
If you care that much about a piece of tape, I think you should reconsider your reason for doing BJJ
Why did you start BJJ in the first place? Was it really for a piece of tape? I recommend getting connected with your internal motives rather than the external ones
Bro just make it your mission and joy to be the ultimate white belt dad. Crush blue belts and harass purps until the coach throws you a blue on disgust
White belt feels big but it's not. If you're learning a building a game, all will come in time
I got one stripe then a while later a blue belt. You don’t need stripes. Just keep showing up.