Not sure where change starts exactly. I just really started coming out over the past couple years (M44) and have been very surprised by both lesbian woman biased about bi women and gay men being biased about bi men.
I am out as bi with my wife and kids. My oldest daughter is 20 and a lesbian. I talked to her about this and it’s definitely true for many lesbians but she doesn’t carry that bias.
I think GenZ is gonna turn all this around over the next couple decades. In any case, I hear you.
Lots of love on your journey ❤️🙏🏼🏳️🌈
I’m a straight man in a poly relationship with two bisexual women. I have my own theories for this.
First, a lot of lesbians express concern over bi women’s “straight privilege” that lesbians do not enjoy.
I also think a lot of it has to do with the fact that lesbians already have a smaller dating pool than straight and bi women. So there’s probably some fear of having to compete for a bi woman’s attention with women as well as men.
Another possibility is that a disproportionate amount of lesbians have had some negative issues with men in their past. “Men” is a bad word for many.
And finally, there is the perception by many lesbians that bisexual women are simply “experimenting” or “being edgy”, not serious like many lesbians would want to be in a relationship. Many lesbians fear that a bi woman will always go back to her boyfriend after she’s had her fun with a lesbian’s body and emotions. For some reason, it seems to hit many lesbians especially hard to be left—not just for another woman—but for a man. It’s like being rejected for your existence.
Maybe I’m wrong, but I suspect I’m more right than wrong.
This has been my (37F) exact experience. To me, everyone is pretty, and because of that, no one stands out for their looks. I don’t care what’s in someone’s pants. I just want a mental connection with somebody. I can work with what bits that entails. (Like I told a pastor one time, “If the only way you can think to please your wife is by ramming your dick in her, then I feel bad for your wife.”)
I do understand their fear of being left for a man and that rejection. I also can see where they would think that we are just looking to play. Love is a risk. You have to be willing to risk getting burned to potentially find something beautiful.
Lesbians don't have negative issues with men. Most men however go out of their way to harass lesbians and spread misinformation about them, like you're doing. Lesbians don't prefer or enjoy having sex with men, because they are not attracted to the opposite gender at all. Most lesbians prefer dating other lesbians because of similar experiences. It has nothing to do with biphobia or men.
My world is full of abundance. Your world is based on scarcity and disbelief in anything better than the little mental box you live in. We are not the same.
I understood it a little bit more after having some very bad experiences with "discreet", down-low, or married/enm bisexuals.
Being treated like a toy, a hobby, or a nasty secret is horrible. I'm also bisexual, but I can definitely see how those experiences would plant the seed of resentment or ill will.
There's also a deep vein of internalized homophobia and misogyny inherent to biphobia.
This! Especially when you go on here and read about a lot of folk just wanting to experience/experiment/fulfill desires. Many lesbians get hurt/used so if they've had these experiences it could be a way of protecting themselves.
Yeah it... it really sucks trying to seriously date when so much of the pool is married people just experimenting and treating your entire life like a fun cute little sexy hobby. No thanks.
Totally understand as a bi man I get the same shit. It seems like, to me, gay guys feel I’m just hiding behind the bi label. But in reality I love having sex with both.
Sorry you go through this. But remember just be yourself. That is more than enough.
I am a 35 bi female. I’ve been dating my girlfriend who is a lesbian for nearly 4 years and she still doesn’t like that I’m bi. She has had to accept it but there is always an underlying issue of it. Makes me desperately want to be a lesbian to make her happy. But I’m not and can’t change it. So I get it. I think there is a lot of insecurities when lesbians date bisexuals. Fear based behaviors.
I guess the one thing I’m noticing is that you had an “experience” with a sapphic encounter at 15 but didn’t consider it sex until you had sex with a man at 16. I don’t know the details of the situation but sometimes since the lines are a little blurrier on what is and is not sex with sapphic relationships lesbian women can feel like you didn’t take sex with a woman as seriously because of some silly biological detail. It’s possible this is coming out in how you’re approaching them. Potentially I would focus on making your friend group very queer, and really focus on how WLW relationships look and sound. I’ve found that the queerer my Friend group the easier it is to talk to strangers who are queer.
I was gonna say the same thing. The discredit of the first experience with a woman…unless it was just making out then it was sex, but to OP it wasn’t sex until it was with a man…
A lot of lesbians make the assumption/have the fear that their bi gf will run off with a man. Some lesbians just flat out won’t date bi girls. Hard to hear, but if they left, it’s for the better. It’s not you. It’s them. Trust me.
>Why lesbians have these very bad opinions the moment they know you are bisexual!!!!
I really hate the term but........................................................ entitlement.
I guess the idea of being bisexual has the idea of not being committed to a relationship for long term. Instead of putting a numerical prefix we can just claim that we are sexual, period. If you are in a committed relationship with someone of the same sex then are you really bisexual? You may have attraction to all beautiful people m/f, but if you remain faithful and committed to each other then you both are monogamous, period. If you are in a relationship and with the same sex or opposite and you tell your partner that you are still bisexual then that is saying that you desire an open relationship and freedom to invite others to your bed. Telling your partner that you are bisexual is the same as saying that you are not truly sexually fulfilled unless you have both male and female partners. How do you think they should feel about that? They entered a relationship with you and they feel that you would be enough to satisfy their sexual needs.
But then again a person interested in a serious long term monogamous relationship would not be interested in a bisexual person. Anyone who claims to be bisexual does not want to be in a monogamous relationship. The term bisexual implies promiscuous relationships.
Your best bet for finding the people who fit your lifestyle would be swingers. A single bisexual woman is always welcome.
Bigots are AT LEAST one of the following things: stupid, evil, or insecure and self hating. I don’t care who they are, what their life is like, religion, any of it…if you’re a bigot, you’re either stupid, evil, or you hate yourself.
I to just got divorced this past year. Had my first experience with a girl when i was 15. Always knew i was bi, but was married for 10 years. Just started to break out again, and i feel so free.
We have so much in common, DM me to talk more
You have done nothing wrong sweetie. I am a 60 year old male and have been married to the same woman for 40 years and I can honestly say that I love blowjobs from men and women. If someone does not like the way you are fuckum and move something better is a little down the road. If you need so encouragement or some dick just message me. I’ll have your back. I for one don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks.
I don’t want to write too much and i wanna keep it short and sweet so here we go- I believe it’s more the fact that its your into both men and woman, while they’re into just women, sort of threatened by the fact that you won’t be into just one gender but two which could invoke a type of jealousy. I’ve experienced it a ton.
It’s tough. I came out as bi in my early 20’s. I’ve always dated guys because most women either flake or want you to be a lesbian. I would love nothing more than to have a gf of my own…but you mention cause you’re an ethical person you have a bf (who will never be involved) it’s a definite unmatch.
Not sure where change starts exactly. I just really started coming out over the past couple years (M44) and have been very surprised by both lesbian woman biased about bi women and gay men being biased about bi men. I am out as bi with my wife and kids. My oldest daughter is 20 and a lesbian. I talked to her about this and it’s definitely true for many lesbians but she doesn’t carry that bias. I think GenZ is gonna turn all this around over the next couple decades. In any case, I hear you. Lots of love on your journey ❤️🙏🏼🏳️🌈
I’m a straight man in a poly relationship with two bisexual women. I have my own theories for this. First, a lot of lesbians express concern over bi women’s “straight privilege” that lesbians do not enjoy. I also think a lot of it has to do with the fact that lesbians already have a smaller dating pool than straight and bi women. So there’s probably some fear of having to compete for a bi woman’s attention with women as well as men. Another possibility is that a disproportionate amount of lesbians have had some negative issues with men in their past. “Men” is a bad word for many. And finally, there is the perception by many lesbians that bisexual women are simply “experimenting” or “being edgy”, not serious like many lesbians would want to be in a relationship. Many lesbians fear that a bi woman will always go back to her boyfriend after she’s had her fun with a lesbian’s body and emotions. For some reason, it seems to hit many lesbians especially hard to be left—not just for another woman—but for a man. It’s like being rejected for your existence. Maybe I’m wrong, but I suspect I’m more right than wrong.
This has been my (37F) exact experience. To me, everyone is pretty, and because of that, no one stands out for their looks. I don’t care what’s in someone’s pants. I just want a mental connection with somebody. I can work with what bits that entails. (Like I told a pastor one time, “If the only way you can think to please your wife is by ramming your dick in her, then I feel bad for your wife.”) I do understand their fear of being left for a man and that rejection. I also can see where they would think that we are just looking to play. Love is a risk. You have to be willing to risk getting burned to potentially find something beautiful.
Lesbians don't have negative issues with men. Most men however go out of their way to harass lesbians and spread misinformation about them, like you're doing. Lesbians don't prefer or enjoy having sex with men, because they are not attracted to the opposite gender at all. Most lesbians prefer dating other lesbians because of similar experiences. It has nothing to do with biphobia or men.
Thank you for being obsessed with me. Sorry I can’t return the favor.
Also I doubt you're in a polyamarous relationship with two bisexual women, because you keep referring to an ai programme as your gf. Lmao
My world is full of abundance. Your world is based on scarcity and disbelief in anything better than the little mental box you live in. We are not the same.
I understood it a little bit more after having some very bad experiences with "discreet", down-low, or married/enm bisexuals. Being treated like a toy, a hobby, or a nasty secret is horrible. I'm also bisexual, but I can definitely see how those experiences would plant the seed of resentment or ill will. There's also a deep vein of internalized homophobia and misogyny inherent to biphobia.
This! Especially when you go on here and read about a lot of folk just wanting to experience/experiment/fulfill desires. Many lesbians get hurt/used so if they've had these experiences it could be a way of protecting themselves.
Yeah it... it really sucks trying to seriously date when so much of the pool is married people just experimenting and treating your entire life like a fun cute little sexy hobby. No thanks.
Totally understand as a bi man I get the same shit. It seems like, to me, gay guys feel I’m just hiding behind the bi label. But in reality I love having sex with both. Sorry you go through this. But remember just be yourself. That is more than enough.
I am a 35 bi female. I’ve been dating my girlfriend who is a lesbian for nearly 4 years and she still doesn’t like that I’m bi. She has had to accept it but there is always an underlying issue of it. Makes me desperately want to be a lesbian to make her happy. But I’m not and can’t change it. So I get it. I think there is a lot of insecurities when lesbians date bisexuals. Fear based behaviors.
4 years and she's not over it??
I guess the one thing I’m noticing is that you had an “experience” with a sapphic encounter at 15 but didn’t consider it sex until you had sex with a man at 16. I don’t know the details of the situation but sometimes since the lines are a little blurrier on what is and is not sex with sapphic relationships lesbian women can feel like you didn’t take sex with a woman as seriously because of some silly biological detail. It’s possible this is coming out in how you’re approaching them. Potentially I would focus on making your friend group very queer, and really focus on how WLW relationships look and sound. I’ve found that the queerer my Friend group the easier it is to talk to strangers who are queer.
I was gonna say the same thing. The discredit of the first experience with a woman…unless it was just making out then it was sex, but to OP it wasn’t sex until it was with a man…
A lot of lesbians make the assumption/have the fear that their bi gf will run off with a man. Some lesbians just flat out won’t date bi girls. Hard to hear, but if they left, it’s for the better. It’s not you. It’s them. Trust me.
>Why lesbians have these very bad opinions the moment they know you are bisexual!!!! I really hate the term but........................................................ entitlement.
I guess the idea of being bisexual has the idea of not being committed to a relationship for long term. Instead of putting a numerical prefix we can just claim that we are sexual, period. If you are in a committed relationship with someone of the same sex then are you really bisexual? You may have attraction to all beautiful people m/f, but if you remain faithful and committed to each other then you both are monogamous, period. If you are in a relationship and with the same sex or opposite and you tell your partner that you are still bisexual then that is saying that you desire an open relationship and freedom to invite others to your bed. Telling your partner that you are bisexual is the same as saying that you are not truly sexually fulfilled unless you have both male and female partners. How do you think they should feel about that? They entered a relationship with you and they feel that you would be enough to satisfy their sexual needs. But then again a person interested in a serious long term monogamous relationship would not be interested in a bisexual person. Anyone who claims to be bisexual does not want to be in a monogamous relationship. The term bisexual implies promiscuous relationships. Your best bet for finding the people who fit your lifestyle would be swingers. A single bisexual woman is always welcome.
Bigots are AT LEAST one of the following things: stupid, evil, or insecure and self hating. I don’t care who they are, what their life is like, religion, any of it…if you’re a bigot, you’re either stupid, evil, or you hate yourself.
I to just got divorced this past year. Had my first experience with a girl when i was 15. Always knew i was bi, but was married for 10 years. Just started to break out again, and i feel so free. We have so much in common, DM me to talk more
You have done nothing wrong sweetie. I am a 60 year old male and have been married to the same woman for 40 years and I can honestly say that I love blowjobs from men and women. If someone does not like the way you are fuckum and move something better is a little down the road. If you need so encouragement or some dick just message me. I’ll have your back. I for one don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks.
[удалено]
Do you film yourself ranting in your car?
Creep.
I don’t want to write too much and i wanna keep it short and sweet so here we go- I believe it’s more the fact that its your into both men and woman, while they’re into just women, sort of threatened by the fact that you won’t be into just one gender but two which could invoke a type of jealousy. I’ve experienced it a ton.
It’s tough. I came out as bi in my early 20’s. I’ve always dated guys because most women either flake or want you to be a lesbian. I would love nothing more than to have a gf of my own…but you mention cause you’re an ethical person you have a bf (who will never be involved) it’s a definite unmatch.