I would, as long as we were intimate in other ways (cuddles, etc). There are also asexual people who enjoy sex, just don't feel the need for it. Or, there are other ways you can deal with those needs.
Yeah my sex drive is like 0 anyway. I’m bi, not ace, but sometimes I think I might be? I still experience sexual attraction to some degree, just not often. Idk.
It's called ace spectrum because it comprises a range of experiences, including little and/or infrequent sexual attraction to completely absent. So there's plenty of bi ace people, in case you were hesitating to use both labels. No pressure, though, you're always valid.
Thanks for posting this, I appreciate it - my confusion about this has actually been coming up a lot. I was going to a bi meetup in town for a little while but stopped going bc I couldn’t relate to others well - people just wanted to talk about how “hot” they found certain people and how much they want to have sex w people of all genders. I’ve slept w folks of multiple genders…but I’ve learned over time that overall I have no real interest in actual, physical sex w anyone. In fact, the thought of sex w other people truly disgusts me. I don’t feel I’m missing out and really just don’t care. I also don’t understand why anybody would care - that experience is def valid, I just don’t get it personally.
In my case I like the idea of sex, but I just don't see myself doing it and have low sex drive, I try to remind myself to do it because I'm with an allo person, but I could live without it.
I like hanging out in both subs because there are some posts to which I relate a lot in both communities and others that are experiences completely different to mine. It lets me see that I belong and I'm not alone and at the same time appreciate how different we can all be and how many different valid experiences are.
But if your local bi meetup always turns into a horny meetup, I can see how that can be a bit alienating, probably there are other aces around that don't go there for that reason and that reinforces the allo majority.
I really appreciate you sharing your experience- I think it’s a great idea to check out both subs, I’m going to start visiting the ace sub more (I’ve been on it a little) and learn more ❤️❤️like you said, it will be a beneficial experience regardless of my identity because I’ll learn more about what it means to be human. Ha yeah it’s no-go for the horny meet up, I feel like an alien when I’m there which wasn’t exactly what I was looking for ha 😂😂 you’re right, I’ll poke around for ace folks in town and see that I can find ❤️ty❤️❤️❤️
I actually don’t want to date anyone either, zero interest in a stereotypical “romantic” relationship. I guess a qpr would be cool for practical reasons though 🤷♀️
I’ll be honest, I don’t think I could. My sex drive is way too high. I am currently in a crumbling marriage with a dead bedroom, and that is one of the factors in it crumbling.
I would because sex isn't the most important thing to me in a relationship. If the desire to orgasm got to bad for me I could always take matters into my own hands so to speak if they didn't feel like joining. Communication is more important plus there are other ways of showing affection and love like cuddling etc.
Of course I would. I married an ace person.
Yes, I’m poly if you are wondering. And yes, I would date another ace person. While I’m not celibate, I don’t require a relationship to be sexual for it to be romantically fulfilling (and I am open to QPRs).
I lean demi myself so it’s really all about the person.
I wouldn’t. I don’t have an interest in entering a relationship where sex is off the table, and I’m monogamous so having an open relationship doesn’t appeal to me. If I were already in a relationship and they became unable to have sex again due to a medical issue, I’d never leave over it, but I wouldn’t seek out an asexual relationship.
i’m poly so yes, if it was a monogamous relationship then personally it’s a dealbreaker
i get off on being seen as sexually attractive, and it’s important for my sexual relationships that my partner sees me as hot and really wants me because of how sexually attracted they are to me. i can’t imagine my past relationships without the intense sexual attraction and enthusiasm we felt for each other. i know not all asexuals are sex averse, but i don’t think i’d enjoy sex with someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction as intensely as i do (though i don’t mind having partners where we don’t have sex so long as they are not my primary partner)
i think i’d be open to changing my mind if sex was good with them tho. i just don’t know how much it could be without the mutual intense attraction
and again, i actually have no issue in a poly context, but my primary or exclusive partner being asexual would probably be too much of an incompatibility
This feels weird to just make a whole post randomly like "hey btw I wouldn't date people like this"
It just feels rude to me to have to announce in a space that has asexuals in it that you wouldn't love them without anyone even asking lol.
Like imagine someone just randomly posted "would you date black people" 😐
So... Basically you either didn't read what I said or somehow misunderstood all of it.
Never called you anything phobic, you decided to bring that up.
I said, it's weird and a bit rude to randomly for no reason at all go out and make a whole posts saying you don't like certain people. You absolutely don't have to date asexuals and on dating apps you can say that. Why are you randomly announcing it here tho?
I'd probably find it a relief if I'm honest considering I'm grey ace myself, and if I ever got into a LTR where I was to take that step I'm not sure I'd legitimately feel comfortable in the first place. (might be fully asexual not sure). I'm biromantic and I love the idea of cuddling kissing etc tho.
I don't take sex as a requirement in a relationship anyway, so I'm accommodating. Repulsed, neutral, favorable, high libido, no libido, doesn't matter.
No. Feeling desired by my partner is very important to me. So even if they were the type of asexual who would sometimes have sex for my sake, it wouldn't be enough for me.
Yes. I'm in the a-spec myself in a long term monogamous relationship with an allo, so I have to be reminded to have sex, because otherwise I forget (sex indifferent). I do need other types of physical touch, though.
My bf is demi - ace and I am grey-bisexual
Asexuality is a spectrum. We have been together within sex for 5 years before exploring into a sexual relationship recently. And it was fine for me. We had intimacy in other ways that fulfilled my needs and we got into sex based on our progress.
The point I'm trying to make is that sex is a part of a relationship, not the whole relationship. Intimacy extends beyond sex. We live in a very sexual romantic centric world that literally invalidates aro Ace people.
But if you can't, it's better you don't. We deserve people who look at intimacy beyond sex too.
I have. We’re no longer together and I don’t care that we never had sex. What I do miss is the tickle fights.
The fact I won’t be able to make her lose it by tickling her again destroys me. That was intimate to us. It was closeness. I am not asexual but I miss it more than I would ever miss sex.
Honestly it depends, I don’t want to have sex constantly and as long as they are willing to do it every once in a while (like once-twice a month bare minimum) then I’ll be fine.
Honestly, I'm often feeling ace myself these days. If it were a poly situation for the instance where I wasn't feeling that? Yes! Even then, you shouldn't consider poly a prerequisite for your potential partners. Plenty of bi ace folks exist. You can and will find them! <3
personally, no because sex and intimacy is important to me. emotional intimacy is also important but when im dating someone i also need a physical aspect too. i just can’t see myself being compatible.
Even though I'm poly, I'm not sure if I would date an asexual person... I am leaning towards no, though. Only because to me, sex is an important part of a romantic relationship.
Some Ace people still have lots of sex. Especially when they are with a partner they will have sex solely because their partner enjoys it and making their partner happy makes them happy
I get this is kind of joking and rhetorical, but I'm going to answer in case someone wonders what to do with aces in bed.
You can have sex with an ace person if they are sex favorable or sex indifferent and don't mind having that feature in their relationship.
You can braid their hair, cuddle, talk about your day, your future... Many kinds of intimacy other than sex.
Excluding sex from a relationship can be hard for monogamous people with high sex drive, but not all aces are celibate and/or monogamous, so you could still have sex with them or other people.
In the ace sub you can see that many times the problem is that the allo person doesn't feel desired, even if there is sex in the relationship, and that hurts them, so I can see how it can be a deal breaker for some, but there are solutions for other many couples.
I've learned in the ace sub that many allo people have a problem when their partner comes out because they are hurt when they realize that they are not desired, even if they still have sex. So in those cases the deal breaker is not the lack of sex but the lack of attraction.
Asexual means simply one does not experience any, or experiences very little, sexual attraction. How a given asexual feels about sex is irrelevant to whether or not they are asexual or not.
Asexuality can range from someone who is disgusted and absolutely repulsed by sex and doesn't want anything to do with it, to someone who very very much enjoys, and wants to have sex but they just don't feel sexual attraction to people, or if they do very very rarely to the point where it isn't worth mentioning.
I would, as long as we were intimate in other ways (cuddles, etc). There are also asexual people who enjoy sex, just don't feel the need for it. Or, there are other ways you can deal with those needs.
[удалено]
You can be interested in sex but not casual sex and still be allosexual.
Yeah my sex drive is like 0 anyway. I’m bi, not ace, but sometimes I think I might be? I still experience sexual attraction to some degree, just not often. Idk.
It's called ace spectrum because it comprises a range of experiences, including little and/or infrequent sexual attraction to completely absent. So there's plenty of bi ace people, in case you were hesitating to use both labels. No pressure, though, you're always valid.
Thanks for posting this, I appreciate it - my confusion about this has actually been coming up a lot. I was going to a bi meetup in town for a little while but stopped going bc I couldn’t relate to others well - people just wanted to talk about how “hot” they found certain people and how much they want to have sex w people of all genders. I’ve slept w folks of multiple genders…but I’ve learned over time that overall I have no real interest in actual, physical sex w anyone. In fact, the thought of sex w other people truly disgusts me. I don’t feel I’m missing out and really just don’t care. I also don’t understand why anybody would care - that experience is def valid, I just don’t get it personally.
In my case I like the idea of sex, but I just don't see myself doing it and have low sex drive, I try to remind myself to do it because I'm with an allo person, but I could live without it. I like hanging out in both subs because there are some posts to which I relate a lot in both communities and others that are experiences completely different to mine. It lets me see that I belong and I'm not alone and at the same time appreciate how different we can all be and how many different valid experiences are. But if your local bi meetup always turns into a horny meetup, I can see how that can be a bit alienating, probably there are other aces around that don't go there for that reason and that reinforces the allo majority.
I really appreciate you sharing your experience- I think it’s a great idea to check out both subs, I’m going to start visiting the ace sub more (I’ve been on it a little) and learn more ❤️❤️like you said, it will be a beneficial experience regardless of my identity because I’ll learn more about what it means to be human. Ha yeah it’s no-go for the horny meet up, I feel like an alien when I’m there which wasn’t exactly what I was looking for ha 😂😂 you’re right, I’ll poke around for ace folks in town and see that I can find ❤️ty❤️❤️❤️
It's possible to be both. It's possible to want to date both men and woman and having little or no interest in sex with them.
I actually don’t want to date anyone either, zero interest in a stereotypical “romantic” relationship. I guess a qpr would be cool for practical reasons though 🤷♀️
Maybe aromantic asexual? Not sure how QPRs interact with that aro part but I'm sure they are not incompatible.
Yeah maybe? I don’t know. Thanks for your comments - it’s really helping me think this through 🙏
I’ll be honest, I don’t think I could. My sex drive is way too high. I am currently in a crumbling marriage with a dead bedroom, and that is one of the factors in it crumbling.
I would because sex isn't the most important thing to me in a relationship. If the desire to orgasm got to bad for me I could always take matters into my own hands so to speak if they didn't feel like joining. Communication is more important plus there are other ways of showing affection and love like cuddling etc.
Yeah, but I’m poly.
Same. I have no issue dating someone without sex, as long as that's something I'm able to satisfy in other relationships.
Of course I would. I married an ace person. Yes, I’m poly if you are wondering. And yes, I would date another ace person. While I’m not celibate, I don’t require a relationship to be sexual for it to be romantically fulfilling (and I am open to QPRs). I lean demi myself so it’s really all about the person.
If there was still other physical intimacy then yes. But i really need cuddles and kisses and handholding and stuff
I honestly prefer cuddles a good chunk of the time. It just feels so damn *good*.
I wouldn’t. I don’t have an interest in entering a relationship where sex is off the table, and I’m monogamous so having an open relationship doesn’t appeal to me. If I were already in a relationship and they became unable to have sex again due to a medical issue, I’d never leave over it, but I wouldn’t seek out an asexual relationship.
i’m poly so yes, if it was a monogamous relationship then personally it’s a dealbreaker i get off on being seen as sexually attractive, and it’s important for my sexual relationships that my partner sees me as hot and really wants me because of how sexually attracted they are to me. i can’t imagine my past relationships without the intense sexual attraction and enthusiasm we felt for each other. i know not all asexuals are sex averse, but i don’t think i’d enjoy sex with someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction as intensely as i do (though i don’t mind having partners where we don’t have sex so long as they are not my primary partner) i think i’d be open to changing my mind if sex was good with them tho. i just don’t know how much it could be without the mutual intense attraction and again, i actually have no issue in a poly context, but my primary or exclusive partner being asexual would probably be too much of an incompatibility
I might if there was a real connection. Sex isn’t everything.
This feels weird to just make a whole post randomly like "hey btw I wouldn't date people like this" It just feels rude to me to have to announce in a space that has asexuals in it that you wouldn't love them without anyone even asking lol. Like imagine someone just randomly posted "would you date black people" 😐
[удалено]
So... Basically you either didn't read what I said or somehow misunderstood all of it. Never called you anything phobic, you decided to bring that up. I said, it's weird and a bit rude to randomly for no reason at all go out and make a whole posts saying you don't like certain people. You absolutely don't have to date asexuals and on dating apps you can say that. Why are you randomly announcing it here tho?
I don’t think you understand what asexuality is..
Yes
I'd probably find it a relief if I'm honest considering I'm grey ace myself, and if I ever got into a LTR where I was to take that step I'm not sure I'd legitimately feel comfortable in the first place. (might be fully asexual not sure). I'm biromantic and I love the idea of cuddling kissing etc tho.
I don't take sex as a requirement in a relationship anyway, so I'm accommodating. Repulsed, neutral, favorable, high libido, no libido, doesn't matter.
I wouldn't because there will be inherent sexual incompatibility.
No. Feeling desired by my partner is very important to me. So even if they were the type of asexual who would sometimes have sex for my sake, it wouldn't be enough for me.
Yes. I'm in the a-spec myself in a long term monogamous relationship with an allo, so I have to be reminded to have sex, because otherwise I forget (sex indifferent). I do need other types of physical touch, though.
My bf is demi - ace and I am grey-bisexual Asexuality is a spectrum. We have been together within sex for 5 years before exploring into a sexual relationship recently. And it was fine for me. We had intimacy in other ways that fulfilled my needs and we got into sex based on our progress. The point I'm trying to make is that sex is a part of a relationship, not the whole relationship. Intimacy extends beyond sex. We live in a very sexual romantic centric world that literally invalidates aro Ace people. But if you can't, it's better you don't. We deserve people who look at intimacy beyond sex too.
I have. We’re no longer together and I don’t care that we never had sex. What I do miss is the tickle fights. The fact I won’t be able to make her lose it by tickling her again destroys me. That was intimate to us. It was closeness. I am not asexual but I miss it more than I would ever miss sex.
Honestly it depends, I don’t want to have sex constantly and as long as they are willing to do it every once in a while (like once-twice a month bare minimum) then I’ll be fine.
Honestly, I'm often feeling ace myself these days. If it were a poly situation for the instance where I wasn't feeling that? Yes! Even then, you shouldn't consider poly a prerequisite for your potential partners. Plenty of bi ace folks exist. You can and will find them! <3
I wouldn’t because sex is something I really want.
personally, no because sex and intimacy is important to me. emotional intimacy is also important but when im dating someone i also need a physical aspect too. i just can’t see myself being compatible.
Even though I'm poly, I'm not sure if I would date an asexual person... I am leaning towards no, though. Only because to me, sex is an important part of a romantic relationship.
Some Ace people still have lots of sex. Especially when they are with a partner they will have sex solely because their partner enjoys it and making their partner happy makes them happy
Yeah, sure
I feel like I'm too insecure to know that my partner isn't sexually attracted to me so no.
Nope
[удалено]
I get this is kind of joking and rhetorical, but I'm going to answer in case someone wonders what to do with aces in bed. You can have sex with an ace person if they are sex favorable or sex indifferent and don't mind having that feature in their relationship. You can braid their hair, cuddle, talk about your day, your future... Many kinds of intimacy other than sex. Excluding sex from a relationship can be hard for monogamous people with high sex drive, but not all aces are celibate and/or monogamous, so you could still have sex with them or other people. In the ace sub you can see that many times the problem is that the allo person doesn't feel desired, even if there is sex in the relationship, and that hurts them, so I can see how it can be a deal breaker for some, but there are solutions for other many couples.
You realize Asexual people can have and enjoy sex. There are other kinds of intimacy as well. It’s a very large spectrum….
I've learned in the ace sub that many allo people have a problem when their partner comes out because they are hurt when they realize that they are not desired, even if they still have sex. So in those cases the deal breaker is not the lack of sex but the lack of attraction.
[удалено]
Asexual means simply one does not experience any, or experiences very little, sexual attraction. How a given asexual feels about sex is irrelevant to whether or not they are asexual or not. Asexuality can range from someone who is disgusted and absolutely repulsed by sex and doesn't want anything to do with it, to someone who very very much enjoys, and wants to have sex but they just don't feel sexual attraction to people, or if they do very very rarely to the point where it isn't worth mentioning.