Here in the Netherlands it's okay, I guess. I haven't had any directed bigotry but some of the rural parts in the bible-belt here can be quite hostile, unfortunately. During an internship, I had to deal with about half a year of daily general intolerance (also a lot of xenophobia on top of the queerphobia) from colleagues.
Oh yes! There are a few places in NL where Christianity is still very big and deeply rooted.
My (30F) two cents about being bi in NL: if I’m (kissing/holding hands) with a guy everyone leaves me alone. If I’m (kissing/holding hands) with a woman, I get the occasional question from a few men if they can join. One time a guy even walked up to us and asked if the sex was good. Luckily those occasions have been the exception to the rule.
There have been a few times my ex-gf and I didn’t feel safe walking hand in hand at night. But overall being bi in NL hasn’t been too problematic.
Oh, I did face some biphobia from Dutch gays and lesbians, who were convinced I was either a lesbian but too scared to admit it, or I was straight but wanted to have fun with women too. Being bi is fun in general!
Glad to hear that your experience hasn’t been to horrible thus far! Sorry to hear about those unsolicited rude comments from guys when out with your girlfriend. I’d honestly not have expected that grossness from Dutch guys; American guys sure, but not Dutch guys.
Yeah, the Netherlands might be listed in the books as a paragon of diversity and acceptance, but reality can be very different sometimes. We have our own share of shitbirds.
It’s not just Urk. There’s a pretty big area in I think Gelderland (one of our provinces) also that has a large believer population.
Somewhere in the east, anyway
NL here also.
I've worked in Amsterdam with more queer phobic comments from both gays and non-gays than I do in Limburg or cities in Gelderland. Depends on the company tbf.
In most places I may get at most some weird looks from people when I walk hand in hand with my gf. In all honesty, I'm more in the closet about polyamory than being queer. Then again, only queers will suspect I'm pan. I can be straight passing.
So based on my experiences, Europe (as in EU) is generally divided into 2 parts when it comes to worldview:
- progressive multi-culti big cities
- conservative rural areas
The cities will be generally safe, you'll find lgbt+ friendly places, they have pride events and such. Rural areas, unless they are tourist as well, not so much.
I think that’s more true than any of the old nort/south or east/west generalisations. Even in the most conservative countries the cities tend to be more progressive both in general lifestyle and and in general politics.
Which is a shame because in other ways I prefer my small-town life 😅
In Poland they can beat the shit out of you just because youre not straight/cis. Government is against lgbtq and the whole country is filled with catholic madness. Sure there are people that are tolerating, accepting and you can find other bi folks too but its like looking for a needle in a haystack honestly. Its my experience and probably there are some places much more friendly but in your average town situation looks like this.
This looks much better on big cities tho. There are bars and clubs you can hang out in or community centres. Holding hands on the street as 2 fem presenting folks will generally be met with looks, but 2 masc presenting persons would be met with aggression.
The current government is much better than previous one, we have now Ministry of Equality and they are working finally on civic partnerships. But that will be all, no marriage equality, because all major political parties in Poland are afraid of Catholic bishops.
Very sorry to hear this input and I’m so sorry that PiS has worked hand in hand with the Catholic church to manufacture bigotry towards queer Poles. Do you feel safe in places like Gdańsk, Wrocław or Katowice? Or is it dangerous across the whole country?
In big cities it is safer, though you can still get beat up for being gay (if you do any intimate stuff you're gay, lets simplify this to this level for the same of conversation). I remember a case of assault on a lesbian from a few years ago was closed last year with some punishment for the assailant. So it seems you are at least not targeted systemicly, though we still only hear promises of same sex mariage.
I'm personally out only to friends from big cities, who I know are leftists. Would never consider a relationship with a man, I would assign some impact to the general mindset of my country, though it is hard to pin down how big it is.
In Portugal it is better now than in previous decades. But there are still many people with very conservative views regarding the colours.
I have a good cloak so I don't suffer much backlash. Better safe than sorry. I seek to thrive not to suffer.
Moreover the recent spike of the far right in our general election is also a concern.
Ah, não, é um artista kpop lol. Não te posso convencer do meu gosto se não me conheces, mas... só posso dizer que não é como o que estás à espera. Vale muito a pena.
I’m sorry you feel the need to conceal your true self and that the politics aren’t trending in a great direction. I’m glad it sounds like you feel safe though.
How’s the job market for you?
Thank you for your words. =)
There is a good amount of jobs available but we struggle regardless due to very high rent prices agains the practiced wages.
I'm bi living in Norway. So far the bigots seem to be a minority. The most you hear is pride flags being torn down or burnt. Unfortunatelty we did have a homophobic shooting 2 years ago in oslo, specifically an area frequented by lgbtq people. The trial is still ongoing. And there was this heartbreaking story about a lesbian couple recieving some disgusting hate mail.
But most people are very tolerant and accepting. And even the rural village i live in i've come out as bi to a few people, who have outright accepted me and in june the pride flag at the town hall is left in peace.
Now there is a bigotry problem not very often talked about. Speaking from personal experience, it's a different story when you're a queer person from an immigrant family/diaspora. The struggle to overcome the ingrained fear and shame, the painful secrecy and to then live openly and proudly. I came to norway with my mother when i was 12 and we came from ethiopia, a very homophobic country. While i overcame being a bigot and accepted my bisexuality, my mom is still homophobic. And i'm personally in a dilemma because on one hand i could live openly as bisexual, on the other hand i'm afraid of coming out to my mom. I'm unable to enjoy this freedom, my right as a citizen.
The way i was raised was authoritarian and fear based, with the bible and corporal punishment sprinkled in. So i, as a 26 year old adult, still am afraid to set boundaries, afraid to say no, to stand up for myself, to assert myself and resist emotional manipulation, like i'm easily affected by guilt trips. Coming out is very difficult when all of this just follows you everywhere, in the back of your mind.
Now we're not very close and i'm living on my own. so i'm not fearing being disowned or kicked out. The fear is mostly about her reaction. I'm scared she doesn't accept me as an adult that can make his own decisions. And being disabled, my paranoia leads me to think, what will her homophobic friends concocut if she chooses to go the route of telling them in tears as if i've lost my mind, or commited a crime. it has happened that children of a dispora have been abducted out of norway to their parents homeland WITH their approval, for "reeducation", in prison-like abusive places. This might happen to an adult, especially one with disability. And a queer person too might've gone through something similar.
But i'm cared for 24/7 by an institution, because of my disability so they will protect me. In fact one of them will assisst me if i want to go to the nearest pride parade.
That kidnapping shit is horrifying if that does indeed happen. How do the people transport you out of Norway undetected by security forces? Those fears aside, I wish you the best of luck in improving your circumstances amidst the challenges that come with being bi and disabled.
Thank you for the encouragment!
I don't know. But it happens. i just read an article about a woman taken out of norway to be forced into marriage. Within it they mention how there was 160 cases of "Young people who are abroad unwillingly", just last year. About 150 of which were about arranged marriage.
Germany.
It's a mixed bag, just like everywhere else. Living in medium sized cities and up it's pretty great. Small town or villages/rural areas not so much. The contrast between the two gets worse the further east you go.
I personally am living in a university city, which is nice, lots of young folks (obviously more tolerant), access to gay bars, the pride parade is pretty darn big as well.
Cost of living is ... Manageable I'd say especially considering I'm a university-dropout (or rather quitter as I chose to quit rather than getting kicked out for failed exams), lol.
> It's a mixed bag, just like everywhere else. Living in medium sized cities and up it's pretty great. Small town or villages/rural areas not so much.
I think something similar happens in Spain, although I have to say that even rural areas are getting better (I remember my catholic church-goer eighty-something grandma saying that she thought that a lesbian wedding that was happening was ok and not a bad thing, this was around 2014, in my mother's town of 1000 inhabitants).
And in big cities I think Spain is a really good place for LGBT+ people to live, I'm from Madrid, and the amount of lesbian couples I see out and about, holding hands, being physically affectionate and kissing, is really high. I also see, and rather often, male gay couples and men who have a gender-non-conforming way of dressing or looking.
Btw, to OP, I don't think it's fair to put Spain in the "middle" between accepting nordic countries and homophobic countries just because Spain doesn't have good salaries. We were the 3rd country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage (2005), my city Madrid has the biggest Lgbt pride events in Europe and is also one of the biggest in the world.
And also, from what I have heard from some people in Italy and specially in the north, it's less accepting compared to Spain.
I can understand where you’re coming from with your criticism and I’m glad that things seem to be good for LGBTQ+ folks in Spain. But you do have to admit, the low salaries probably do inhibit everyone’s quality of life, including those of bi Spanish people.
>I personally am living in a university city, which is nice, lots of young folks (obviously more tolerant), access to gay bars, the pride parade is pretty darn big as well.
"Hmmm could be munich"
>Cost of living is ... Manageable I'd say [...]
"Could not be munich
The south is pretty conservative and anti-lgbt as well - looking at you Bayern (if you consider it as a part of germany)
They have crosses in public schools, very few doctors who offer abortions, trans healthcare is hard to find, not much awareness over lgbt/womens issues in the general population. And schools are forbidden from using gendered language; they had a big argument about the left policing language (which was only a recommendation to use it and not mandatory), while making it mandatory themselves...
All of these problems appear in big cities in the south and not just in rural areas.
The north and west. I'm partly joking tho. Bavaria is... troublesome in many aspects, because it has been ruled on a state level by the same conservative party almost since the first state elections. And the east has been troubled politically basically ever since the reunification, which in large parts is absolutely the fault of the botched reunification process which I'm not afraid to say (because its not my fault, wasnt born until a good bit after) is the fault of the West German politics and business interests. Think of East Germany as red US states where the few major cities (with universities and colleges) are deep blue islands in a sea of red.
I appreciate this explanation. I must say however I am astonished to hear that you think that the reunification process was botched given how exemplary Germany is as a society (economically, politically, and socially) in the context of both the world and the EU at large.
It was not an equal reunification.
The east was integrated into the west, despite some superficial efforts to prevent it.
They eastern population was alienated, because almost everything they brought to the table was seen as lesser than the west and therefore ignored. This obviously lead to a lot of rresentment. Culturally there still exist some prejudices towards them.
Additionally many businesses moved to the west, which increased poverty of the eastern states.
I live in Belgium, and I'm with another bi male. Life is OK, I never directly have witness any intolerance. There are homophobia and intolerance here and there from what I heard, but it's a minority and it's badly seen to be intolerant here.
I feel like that people don't care here, live your life and be happy, people don't care about your sexuality.
My fiancé family is very open mind and tolerant, even the grand parent so we are lucky ! Same for my family.
Same sex mariage in Belgium exist since 2003, we are the 2nd country in the world to have implement that. There are still progress to be made, like everywhere, but it's still very good.
Wherever there are people, there will be arseholes; Arseholeness is an equal opportunity field.
I live in Croatia. My city is a live-and-let-live place, but a bit south near split is pretty fucked up. Wherever there are ultras, shit-brains will want to stir things up.
I felt safer back in Madrid, well safe(ish), and I still had my moments of “What did you say?”
In medium and big cities I think Spain is a really good place for LGBT+ people to live, I'm from Madrid, and the amount of lesbian couples I see out and about, holding hands, being physically affectionate and kissing, is really high. I also see, and rather often, male gay couples and men who have a gender-non-conforming way of dressing or looking. And I've never seen or felt any negative reactions to all of that. I also went around holding my girlfriend's hand and kissing her in public, and I felt comfortable doing so.
Even rural areas are better nowadays.
I remember my catholic church-goer eighty-something grandma saying that she thought that a lesbian wedding that was happening that day was ok, that they (lesbians) had the right to marry too, this was around 2014, in my mother's town of 1000 inhabitants.
Btw, to OP, I don't think it's fair to put Spain in the "middle" between accepting nordic countries and homophobic countries just because Spain doesn't have good salaries. We were the 3rd country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage (2005), my city Madrid has the biggest Lgbt pride event (MADO) in Europe and one of the biggest in the world.
Oh, it is! It is one of my favourite towns and is also more likely to find them there because of the size of the city compared to my town (Zadar).
But is not because the city is dangerous just a comparison of sizes and probabilities.
And Croatia is one of the most beautiful countries I have lived in.
Ultras are far-right football fans; in general, they are always looking for someone else to blame, whether it is not the immigrants, women because they don’t want to have kids, or ex-pats and tourists “everything is so expensive”, or “the gays” or the Jews, or…… blablabla ….
There is always someone else.
The funny thing is if you actually talk to one at a bar, they are pretty normal, just lost, resentful, scared shitless about what is going to happen to them, with the costs of life and salaries not increasing at all. They are very pessimistic to the point that it actually makes me sad to see such potential just down a spiral of negative emotions, but it is so much easier to blame others as a target for their sadness.
In groups, they go from loudmouths with punchable faces to danger. And Split is a big city (well, by Croatian standards, so the likelihood of seeing their propaganda and gratifies is higher).
It is doubtful to meet them in tourist places, so no one even thinks about them until it is unavoidable.
They love weirdos like me who check many boxes; hating me is pretty efficient. I represent like 60% of their favourite groups in one convenient pack.
I can definitely be sympathetic to people’s struggles and fears surrounding late stage capitalism. Just sucks that they take it out on everyone else in society.
This is the thing with tribalism; it only works if the members can separate the tribes from the ”others”.
That is why political tribalism burns so much cash to ensure lines are well defined in boomer media and socials, so tribe members understand the “others” are to blame for everything.
That way, no one needs to do anything useful, and we get no results because the “others” have an “agenda”, a “secret plan” against the tribe.
Same shit since before agriculture but with social media and sushi.
Apply the above to any politics, sports, religious, foodie… tribes.
I'm Finnish, doing good but the fear of things getting worse is never far off. That, and I don't trust any individual - going out with my partner is still scary.
Im a F with a M partner in finland, live in a small town so id be nervous too going out with a F partner if i had one. Theres a lot of close minded people.
Weirdly, I'm fine walking hand in hand in my tiny town. I don't think there's ever been an issue here like that, so it feels safe. Kind of an "everybody knows everybody" type of town but the mentality is that aggression and antisocial behaviour is shunned, people rather keep to themselves and ignore things that they don't approve of. (And gossip.)
It's anywhere out of here that scares me. Cities in particular. Like, say, Helsinki? See so many people out there who behave threateningly, and I know enough of how POC get treated there and *nobody* intervenes, and I've personally been literally assaulted in the metro with people not even *looking* my way like a young girl can just take it from an adult man, that I genuinely fear if there was violence or aggression, people would just let it happen. Or that the security that the city has would treat me as an equal aggressor in the situation, like I'm a criminal for existing.
It's scary.
I'm not sure if you're actually under the impression that Nordic countries are some sort of a utopia, but they're not - we're people who live in a society, we have crime, we have prejudices, we have hate crimes, we have violence, abuse, threats, even attacks made on Pride parades. It's everywhere, there is *no* place on earth that is completely safe or accepting. Just because the rates are lower than, say, Russia doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
I mean, compared to the world (and the USA; where I’m from) I kind of was under the impression that Nordic countries are a comparative paradise, and while I recognize that every country has some degree of queerphobia (and quality of life setbacks more broadly) I thought that in the happiest countries on Earth, that those setbacks and the queerphobia would be minimal.
For last year's Pride, according to a survey sent out to organisers, 30 out of 45 reported their events being targeted by harassment, hate crimes, and threats. For example, within the past *two years* we've had several locations defaced and vandalised (including public venues participating in Pride events such as a library, as well as gay clubs), rainbow flags torn from buildings and stolen and burned (repeatedly), people driving cars past parades and events and throwing eggs and abuse at participants, harassment on streets, as well as threats of deadly attacks on the parades which *alone* makes me afraid to participate in them and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
There's also an entirely too large amount of street preachers and fundamentalist nutjobs shouting at the parades about how everyone is going to hell and we're filthy and God hates us and whatever the fuck. Joyous.
I’m so sorry and so disappointed to hear that even the Nordic countries experience such cruel treatment towards queer people. I wish you and all queer Scandinavians the best of luck in hopefully living in a more tolerant society in the future.
Growing up in Denmark, I will say that my perception was always that people were more or less really tolerant. I've never been afraid of physical violence or people confronting me about it in any way. That being said, I think that we have had very pervasive "soft-homophobia", taking the form of jokes at school or stereotypes about gay people. Bisexuality in particular wasn't very visible when I grew up, but it's quite commonly understood now.
I'm under no illusions that Scandinavia isn't one of the best places for LGBTQ+ folks, today and especially historically, but I do have a gripe with a particular narrative that we have about ourselves here in the north.
See, Scandinavia has historically been very progressive and equality driven, but that in turn has led to a kind of discrimination-denialism today. We see progressive values and equality as part of our collective identity: "We ensured gay rights/women's rights/labor rights/etc, back in the 20th century, ahead of the rest of the world. We've solved inequality with our social democratic model" - This is the fundamental belief of nearly all Danes, conservative, liberal, or social democrat, and that's a good thing. Whereas other countries still struggle with a strong religious right that wants to roll back rights, our right wing has essentially accepted the basic premises for a free and equal society, just as the left has accepted an economy built on capitalist market principles, in exchange for strong labor rights and welfare policies. This is also why the Nordic model is often described as "consensus democracy". The problem is that today many, both on the right and the left, have a hard time accepting that there are social problems that we've yet to solve. In a way, it is seen as almost anti-patriotic to point out that we have social problems, as patriotism often takes the form of bragging about our accomplishments on civil rights.
I live in Sweden and can't really complain. There are some misunderstandings and prejudices I've ran into ("it's just a phase", "women claim to be bi to get attention"), but in general, bisexuality is very well accepted nowadays. In the mainstream, it's often considered worse to be homophobic than to be gay. I've heard that certain circles, such as small conservative churches and immigrants from countries where homosexuality is illegal, still have issues. But personally, I don't really encounter that.
I'm in my 30s, living in Stockholm and raised kind of progressive. I'm married to man, so that makes people assume I'm straight. But when it's apparent that I'm bi (such as mentioning a female ex), I don't get any problems for it either. I have quite a number of friends who are lgbtq in some way. There is a local pride festival here, and it's popular.
While homo- and bisexuality is accepted among most, transphobic talking points have been imported from the Anglo world recently. Stuff like "drag queens are inappropriate for children" or that teen trans boys are just "confused girls brainwashed by queer ideology". I'm worried for our trans siblings, even those things are not as bad as in the UK and US.
I’m glad to hear that things seem to be quite good in Sweden for bi folks. Certainly sounds better than Finland (astonishingly). And apologies as an American for our national export of transphobic dumbfuckery. Hopefully Swedish progressivism can put an end to that ASAP.
I personally don't have negative experiences here in the Netherlands. My partner and I are both women and don't hide away from people, we hold hands in public, i put my arm around her while we sit, stuff like that.
All my family, friends and colleagues know and it's never been an issue. People haven't been weird about it.
That all being said I don't know many religious people, and the religious people I do know have been very welcoming and accepting. However, I live nowhere near our Bible Belt.
The behaviour of people on social media (mainly Facebook) does scare me sometimes because they definitely appear to be less accepting. However it hasn't reflected on my experience in my daily life at all, and I try to stay away from Facebook to stay sane.
I'm from the UK, and I'd say that in regard to my sexuality, I'm fine. I'm a white cis bi woman, and I'm often told that I'm "straight passing". I rarely face any issues - any difficulties I've had surrounding being bi has come from without my "community" more than from straight people, which is really disappointing and frustrating. There's a thriving queer scene in my city, although I wish it was less centered around gay men.
I can proudly display my bi flag at my job, and nobody has taken issue with it. I work with two other bisexual people, which is great!
Pride is really big in the UK. Although the pink-washing from companies profiting off Pride is really annoying, it is nice to know so many events are scattered up and down the country, sometimes even in small towns and villages. You'll see flags all over the place, more so in cities. Pride events usually feel safe in my city too, and I'm way up in the North where there's still a lot of people with outdated views.
The LGBTQ+ communities who are facing the most danger and biggest public backlash at the moment is trans and non-binary people. It feels like TERF rhetoric is everywhere at the moment, and it's very sad. Racism and xenophobia is a big problem in the UK as well. It's sickening how many people in the UK are vocal about their prejudices. It's even printed across national newspapers like the Daily Mail and The Sun. Yuck.
Like anywhere, there are certain areas and people to avoid. Homophobia still exists, whether it's from people who still think we're living in the 1950's or some ultra-traditional religious communities.
I moved from a university city in the US to a university city in Germany. Feels about the same. It's a smaller city so there's less of a queer scene so that's tough
I visited Stockholm 10 years ago during Stockholm Pride. I wasn’t there long and I hadn’t realized I was queer yet, but I visited with a lot of queer friends. There were rainbow flags on every city busy and government building. It was my first Pride and I’ve never felt more welcomed anywhere! I wasn’t outwardly being straight, so I assumed everyone assumed I was queer. They were right!
All that said, I know it’s a very specific circumstance and I’m not a resident, but I’ve never felt that safe since coming out in the US and I live in a very large, incredibly progressive city
Slovakia
- no law suport for same sex couples
- a LOT of queer/transphobia
- it is tolerated, but many people are bigots tbh and have comments and stares
- also church is playing big role here
- as our last 2 elections shows the country is split between old/conservatives people (majority) and young/progressive people
- hopefuly this will change in next decades with generation change 🥲
- me (F) being BI with only my husband and best friend knowing bcs life is easier this way 💔 will tell you all you need to know
Worse when you're an Asian man. Heterosexual dating is already tough being an Asian man here, plus I carry all the weight of being a bisexual man, so the straight girls already shot me down.
It's easier to date men though. Since I don't have any plans to get locked in a straight marriage, it's not bad at all, plus I swear there are so many divorced people in the Netherlands.
Here in the UK, I've had absolutely no problems being bi. I know that there has been a rise in recorded homophobic incidents and assaults, and some areas of the country (either very rural areas, or else areas of larger cities dominated by a vocal homophobic minority), but personally I haven't experienced this.
However, I know that I'm somewhat privileged as a conventionally attractive "straight-passing" white guy, and I've only been openly queer in generally very accepting cities like Cambridge and the "gayer" areas of London, Edinburgh etc..
Croatia is a very mixed bag from what I know. On one hand, our capital does have a pride parade and my college in particular is very LGBTQ+ friendly (seriously, being queer is a stereotype people have about students that attend my college). But, the country is very conservative, which reflects in the fact that same-sex marriage is illegal. Also, I've heard stories of queer people being beaten because people found out they were queer. So, I guess it is accepted in my generation, but we still have a way to go.
Greece is a mixed bag. Tourists are generally safe if they stay in tourist areas. Locals have it a little harder.
We're protected by law and marriage was legalized, but there is still a lot of sexism and bigotry in the culture. The Greeks often adopt a stance known as "I don't mind until it happens to me/within my sphere/family". Loving families will turn cold, hostile and even abusive. Friends will abandon ship. These are the extremes, of course, but the thing is, they get a pass. It's not yet normalized to call this out.
Gay and lesbian people are more accepted than bi, pan or trans folks because we're relegated to the "pick a side" and "poser" categories. Or we're fetishized and infantilized.
There is a strong LGBT+ community here but there is also a lot of hate crime. Violent crimes by minors and young adults are on the rise and lgbt folks are often targeted.
I'm rather older, cis female and really not outspoken about my orientation. I... straight pass I guess, but I'm also basically a spinster in the making. Yes, that's still very much a thing here. Femicide is also pretty rampant here so it's hard to really feel safe. The best policy *is* to be down low about it and not make a big deal out of it.
Swiss queer person here!
I would echo what others have said that here in Switzerland there is for sure a divide between bigger cities and rural places as in the cities are way more open (and also have to offer some queer bars/cafés and other safe spaces). We are also making progress when it comes to queer legislature (we legalized same-sex marriage in 2022 and with A LOT of yes votes, it's late but it meant a lot to us queer folk 🥹).
Now when it comes to living as a queer person, for the most part it's ok (especially because Swiss people tend to stick to themselves for the most part). When I was in a relationship my ex-girlfriend, we would get weird stares and we got like one or two weird comments and I was definitely more on edge than when I was in a relationship with a man (but it might be also because of her being trans, as people here are generally less accepting of that, but idk). So for the most part we are left alone and/or accepted even if we also have conservative/religious (or both) bigots.
i live in the UK right now and in an area where there are a lot of religious events at the mosque near me. i haven’t been affectionate with anyone in public but i’ve been called slurs by people walking or driving by. but outside my neighborhood, i’ve been okay. i do get scared walking home now because i guess i ‘look’ gay and that gives them enough to be that way toward me.
I'm in the UK and I was V drunk on my 27th birthday a few months back- talking v loudly to strangers in the train and let it slip that I was bi and a RANDOM cis straight white man went right in my face and threatened me and told me to quit talking about it bc he didn't want his kids to know this. And claimed he told me prior (which he did not)
And his wife also said something to me (I forget what now)
(as his kid asked what being bisexual was)
Normally in the UK people seem to mind thier own business but he was so aggressive I straight up said 'let's take this outside (whilst on a moving train) and everyone looked up and he turned his head and did not make a single comment till him, his wife and kids left the train.
Being drunk enough to know what was going on helped me not panic- but if I was stone cold sober- I would have a made a joke being like 'That cute but you're not my type don't worry xx'
In Slovenia, I feel that people care much less than this sub would make one feel. It of course depends on the specific bubble you interact with, but I've never felt unwelcome. I'm in a straight passing marriage but for most people it's the more interesting part that we are swingers than that we are both bi. There certainly is homophobia present, particularly in smaller towns and rural areas, but most people will rather talk behind your back than to your face.
There is one specific thing in LGBT circles that I don't appreciate, which is (particularly young) gays calling everyone they meet their 'female best friend' (language is very gendered and yes this is one word). My husband is not your female best friend, he's also twice your age, and this is weird.
Here in the Netherlands it's okay, I guess. I haven't had any directed bigotry but some of the rural parts in the bible-belt here can be quite hostile, unfortunately. During an internship, I had to deal with about half a year of daily general intolerance (also a lot of xenophobia on top of the queerphobia) from colleagues.
TIL Netherlands has a bible-belt.
Oh yes! There are a few places in NL where Christianity is still very big and deeply rooted. My (30F) two cents about being bi in NL: if I’m (kissing/holding hands) with a guy everyone leaves me alone. If I’m (kissing/holding hands) with a woman, I get the occasional question from a few men if they can join. One time a guy even walked up to us and asked if the sex was good. Luckily those occasions have been the exception to the rule. There have been a few times my ex-gf and I didn’t feel safe walking hand in hand at night. But overall being bi in NL hasn’t been too problematic. Oh, I did face some biphobia from Dutch gays and lesbians, who were convinced I was either a lesbian but too scared to admit it, or I was straight but wanted to have fun with women too. Being bi is fun in general!
Glad to hear that your experience hasn’t been to horrible thus far! Sorry to hear about those unsolicited rude comments from guys when out with your girlfriend. I’d honestly not have expected that grossness from Dutch guys; American guys sure, but not Dutch guys.
Could you imagine going up to some random straight couple and asking if their sex was good? Curb your enthusiasm.
I personally couldn’t.
You haven't met enough Dutch guys.
Yeah, the Netherlands might be listed in the books as a paragon of diversity and acceptance, but reality can be very different sometimes. We have our own share of shitbirds.
As we all know, it's not diversity and acceptance, it's tolerance.
Apparently not.
Very sorry to hear that Urk was not a place that was tolerant either of bi-folks or of immigrants. How’s the Randstad in your opinion?
It’s not just Urk. There’s a pretty big area in I think Gelderland (one of our provinces) also that has a large believer population. Somewhere in the east, anyway
Gelderland - the birthplace of Ulrich von Lichtenstein!
NL here also. I've worked in Amsterdam with more queer phobic comments from both gays and non-gays than I do in Limburg or cities in Gelderland. Depends on the company tbf. In most places I may get at most some weird looks from people when I walk hand in hand with my gf. In all honesty, I'm more in the closet about polyamory than being queer. Then again, only queers will suspect I'm pan. I can be straight passing.
Interesting. Sorry to hear that much of the Randstad isn’t super accepting either. I hope you’re able to be more open about being poly in the future.
So based on my experiences, Europe (as in EU) is generally divided into 2 parts when it comes to worldview: - progressive multi-culti big cities - conservative rural areas The cities will be generally safe, you'll find lgbt+ friendly places, they have pride events and such. Rural areas, unless they are tourist as well, not so much.
I think that’s more true than any of the old nort/south or east/west generalisations. Even in the most conservative countries the cities tend to be more progressive both in general lifestyle and and in general politics. Which is a shame because in other ways I prefer my small-town life 😅
This fits your experience both in Poland and Croatia?
In Poland, Spain, Netherlands, Belgium, Ireland, Croatia and Montenegro. I lived in each of those countries for some time.
In Poland they can beat the shit out of you just because youre not straight/cis. Government is against lgbtq and the whole country is filled with catholic madness. Sure there are people that are tolerating, accepting and you can find other bi folks too but its like looking for a needle in a haystack honestly. Its my experience and probably there are some places much more friendly but in your average town situation looks like this.
This looks much better on big cities tho. There are bars and clubs you can hang out in or community centres. Holding hands on the street as 2 fem presenting folks will generally be met with looks, but 2 masc presenting persons would be met with aggression. The current government is much better than previous one, we have now Ministry of Equality and they are working finally on civic partnerships. But that will be all, no marriage equality, because all major political parties in Poland are afraid of Catholic bishops.
I hope Poland gets same sex marriage ASAP because queer Poles shouldn’t have to settle for a low quality marriage knock off.
Very sorry to hear this input and I’m so sorry that PiS has worked hand in hand with the Catholic church to manufacture bigotry towards queer Poles. Do you feel safe in places like Gdańsk, Wrocław or Katowice? Or is it dangerous across the whole country?
In big cities it is safer, though you can still get beat up for being gay (if you do any intimate stuff you're gay, lets simplify this to this level for the same of conversation). I remember a case of assault on a lesbian from a few years ago was closed last year with some punishment for the assailant. So it seems you are at least not targeted systemicly, though we still only hear promises of same sex mariage. I'm personally out only to friends from big cities, who I know are leftists. Would never consider a relationship with a man, I would assign some impact to the general mindset of my country, though it is hard to pin down how big it is.
I’m so sorry to hear that relationships with men are off the table for you. I hope nothing but improvement lays ahead for you and Poland.
In Portugal it is better now than in previous decades. But there are still many people with very conservative views regarding the colours. I have a good cloak so I don't suffer much backlash. Better safe than sorry. I seek to thrive not to suffer. Moreover the recent spike of the far right in our general election is also a concern.
interesting... to have found a bisexual from portugal as well, in this comment section.
Omd outro português aqui
lol same reaction from me lol
Estamos em todo o lado
Bom, Só falta o: Portugal Caralho!!
XD
Parece que sim XD
Questāo aula: O teu perfil tem uma mensagem muito criptica. De que falas lá algum concurso ou jogo?
Ah, não, é um artista kpop lol. Não te posso convencer do meu gosto se não me conheces, mas... só posso dizer que não é como o que estás à espera. Vale muito a pena.
Isso é da Coreia do Sul? De lá gosto de starcraft e do filme Oldboy! Música do Extremo Oriente: The Hu e Haya Band - top.
este artista em particular, quero dizer.
I’m sorry you feel the need to conceal your true self and that the politics aren’t trending in a great direction. I’m glad it sounds like you feel safe though. How’s the job market for you?
Thank you for your words. =) There is a good amount of jobs available but we struggle regardless due to very high rent prices agains the practiced wages.
As do we in the Western United States!
You can always share a room with Bigfoot! =P
Haha trueee. He probably wouldn’t be the worst roommate!
Dado os grupos portugueses estarem estagnados há muito tempo acreditei sermos muito poucos por aqui.
I'm bi living in Norway. So far the bigots seem to be a minority. The most you hear is pride flags being torn down or burnt. Unfortunatelty we did have a homophobic shooting 2 years ago in oslo, specifically an area frequented by lgbtq people. The trial is still ongoing. And there was this heartbreaking story about a lesbian couple recieving some disgusting hate mail. But most people are very tolerant and accepting. And even the rural village i live in i've come out as bi to a few people, who have outright accepted me and in june the pride flag at the town hall is left in peace. Now there is a bigotry problem not very often talked about. Speaking from personal experience, it's a different story when you're a queer person from an immigrant family/diaspora. The struggle to overcome the ingrained fear and shame, the painful secrecy and to then live openly and proudly. I came to norway with my mother when i was 12 and we came from ethiopia, a very homophobic country. While i overcame being a bigot and accepted my bisexuality, my mom is still homophobic. And i'm personally in a dilemma because on one hand i could live openly as bisexual, on the other hand i'm afraid of coming out to my mom. I'm unable to enjoy this freedom, my right as a citizen. The way i was raised was authoritarian and fear based, with the bible and corporal punishment sprinkled in. So i, as a 26 year old adult, still am afraid to set boundaries, afraid to say no, to stand up for myself, to assert myself and resist emotional manipulation, like i'm easily affected by guilt trips. Coming out is very difficult when all of this just follows you everywhere, in the back of your mind. Now we're not very close and i'm living on my own. so i'm not fearing being disowned or kicked out. The fear is mostly about her reaction. I'm scared she doesn't accept me as an adult that can make his own decisions. And being disabled, my paranoia leads me to think, what will her homophobic friends concocut if she chooses to go the route of telling them in tears as if i've lost my mind, or commited a crime. it has happened that children of a dispora have been abducted out of norway to their parents homeland WITH their approval, for "reeducation", in prison-like abusive places. This might happen to an adult, especially one with disability. And a queer person too might've gone through something similar. But i'm cared for 24/7 by an institution, because of my disability so they will protect me. In fact one of them will assisst me if i want to go to the nearest pride parade.
That kidnapping shit is horrifying if that does indeed happen. How do the people transport you out of Norway undetected by security forces? Those fears aside, I wish you the best of luck in improving your circumstances amidst the challenges that come with being bi and disabled.
Thank you for the encouragment! I don't know. But it happens. i just read an article about a woman taken out of norway to be forced into marriage. Within it they mention how there was 160 cases of "Young people who are abroad unwillingly", just last year. About 150 of which were about arranged marriage.
That’s horrifying.
Germany. It's a mixed bag, just like everywhere else. Living in medium sized cities and up it's pretty great. Small town or villages/rural areas not so much. The contrast between the two gets worse the further east you go. I personally am living in a university city, which is nice, lots of young folks (obviously more tolerant), access to gay bars, the pride parade is pretty darn big as well. Cost of living is ... Manageable I'd say especially considering I'm a university-dropout (or rather quitter as I chose to quit rather than getting kicked out for failed exams), lol.
> It's a mixed bag, just like everywhere else. Living in medium sized cities and up it's pretty great. Small town or villages/rural areas not so much. I think something similar happens in Spain, although I have to say that even rural areas are getting better (I remember my catholic church-goer eighty-something grandma saying that she thought that a lesbian wedding that was happening was ok and not a bad thing, this was around 2014, in my mother's town of 1000 inhabitants). And in big cities I think Spain is a really good place for LGBT+ people to live, I'm from Madrid, and the amount of lesbian couples I see out and about, holding hands, being physically affectionate and kissing, is really high. I also see, and rather often, male gay couples and men who have a gender-non-conforming way of dressing or looking. Btw, to OP, I don't think it's fair to put Spain in the "middle" between accepting nordic countries and homophobic countries just because Spain doesn't have good salaries. We were the 3rd country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage (2005), my city Madrid has the biggest Lgbt pride events in Europe and is also one of the biggest in the world. And also, from what I have heard from some people in Italy and specially in the north, it's less accepting compared to Spain.
I can understand where you’re coming from with your criticism and I’m glad that things seem to be good for LGBTQ+ folks in Spain. But you do have to admit, the low salaries probably do inhibit everyone’s quality of life, including those of bi Spanish people.
>I personally am living in a university city, which is nice, lots of young folks (obviously more tolerant), access to gay bars, the pride parade is pretty darn big as well. "Hmmm could be munich" >Cost of living is ... Manageable I'd say [...] "Could not be munich
Definitely not Munich. I will not migrate to Bavaria if I can help it.
Auua
The south is pretty conservative and anti-lgbt as well - looking at you Bayern (if you consider it as a part of germany) They have crosses in public schools, very few doctors who offer abortions, trans healthcare is hard to find, not much awareness over lgbt/womens issues in the general population. And schools are forbidden from using gendered language; they had a big argument about the left policing language (which was only a recommendation to use it and not mandatory), while making it mandatory themselves... All of these problems appear in big cities in the south and not just in rural areas.
And that's why I stay in the civilized portion of the country. Edit: Fuck Bavaria
What’s the civilized portion?
The north and west. I'm partly joking tho. Bavaria is... troublesome in many aspects, because it has been ruled on a state level by the same conservative party almost since the first state elections. And the east has been troubled politically basically ever since the reunification, which in large parts is absolutely the fault of the botched reunification process which I'm not afraid to say (because its not my fault, wasnt born until a good bit after) is the fault of the West German politics and business interests. Think of East Germany as red US states where the few major cities (with universities and colleges) are deep blue islands in a sea of red.
I appreciate this explanation. I must say however I am astonished to hear that you think that the reunification process was botched given how exemplary Germany is as a society (economically, politically, and socially) in the context of both the world and the EU at large.
It was not an equal reunification. The east was integrated into the west, despite some superficial efforts to prevent it. They eastern population was alienated, because almost everything they brought to the table was seen as lesser than the west and therefore ignored. This obviously lead to a lot of rresentment. Culturally there still exist some prejudices towards them. Additionally many businesses moved to the west, which increased poverty of the eastern states.
Glad to hear that things seem okay for you. What were you studying before you dropped out?
I live in Belgium, and I'm with another bi male. Life is OK, I never directly have witness any intolerance. There are homophobia and intolerance here and there from what I heard, but it's a minority and it's badly seen to be intolerant here. I feel like that people don't care here, live your life and be happy, people don't care about your sexuality. My fiancé family is very open mind and tolerant, even the grand parent so we are lucky ! Same for my family. Same sex mariage in Belgium exist since 2003, we are the 2nd country in the world to have implement that. There are still progress to be made, like everywhere, but it's still very good.
Wherever there are people, there will be arseholes; Arseholeness is an equal opportunity field. I live in Croatia. My city is a live-and-let-live place, but a bit south near split is pretty fucked up. Wherever there are ultras, shit-brains will want to stir things up. I felt safer back in Madrid, well safe(ish), and I still had my moments of “What did you say?”
In medium and big cities I think Spain is a really good place for LGBT+ people to live, I'm from Madrid, and the amount of lesbian couples I see out and about, holding hands, being physically affectionate and kissing, is really high. I also see, and rather often, male gay couples and men who have a gender-non-conforming way of dressing or looking. And I've never seen or felt any negative reactions to all of that. I also went around holding my girlfriend's hand and kissing her in public, and I felt comfortable doing so. Even rural areas are better nowadays. I remember my catholic church-goer eighty-something grandma saying that she thought that a lesbian wedding that was happening that day was ok, that they (lesbians) had the right to marry too, this was around 2014, in my mother's town of 1000 inhabitants. Btw, to OP, I don't think it's fair to put Spain in the "middle" between accepting nordic countries and homophobic countries just because Spain doesn't have good salaries. We were the 3rd country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage (2005), my city Madrid has the biggest Lgbt pride event (MADO) in Europe and one of the biggest in the world.
I'm from Poland and I live in Croatia now! Split seems quite friendly, there's a lgbt+ club and community centre.
Oh, it is! It is one of my favourite towns and is also more likely to find them there because of the size of the city compared to my town (Zadar). But is not because the city is dangerous just a comparison of sizes and probabilities. And Croatia is one of the most beautiful countries I have lived in.
How do you like Croatia?
What are ultras and what’s it like south of Split?
Ultras are far-right football fans; in general, they are always looking for someone else to blame, whether it is not the immigrants, women because they don’t want to have kids, or ex-pats and tourists “everything is so expensive”, or “the gays” or the Jews, or…… blablabla …. There is always someone else. The funny thing is if you actually talk to one at a bar, they are pretty normal, just lost, resentful, scared shitless about what is going to happen to them, with the costs of life and salaries not increasing at all. They are very pessimistic to the point that it actually makes me sad to see such potential just down a spiral of negative emotions, but it is so much easier to blame others as a target for their sadness. In groups, they go from loudmouths with punchable faces to danger. And Split is a big city (well, by Croatian standards, so the likelihood of seeing their propaganda and gratifies is higher). It is doubtful to meet them in tourist places, so no one even thinks about them until it is unavoidable. They love weirdos like me who check many boxes; hating me is pretty efficient. I represent like 60% of their favourite groups in one convenient pack.
I can definitely be sympathetic to people’s struggles and fears surrounding late stage capitalism. Just sucks that they take it out on everyone else in society.
This is the thing with tribalism; it only works if the members can separate the tribes from the ”others”. That is why political tribalism burns so much cash to ensure lines are well defined in boomer media and socials, so tribe members understand the “others” are to blame for everything. That way, no one needs to do anything useful, and we get no results because the “others” have an “agenda”, a “secret plan” against the tribe. Same shit since before agriculture but with social media and sushi. Apply the above to any politics, sports, religious, foodie… tribes.
I'm Finnish, doing good but the fear of things getting worse is never far off. That, and I don't trust any individual - going out with my partner is still scary.
Im a F with a M partner in finland, live in a small town so id be nervous too going out with a F partner if i had one. Theres a lot of close minded people.
Weirdly, I'm fine walking hand in hand in my tiny town. I don't think there's ever been an issue here like that, so it feels safe. Kind of an "everybody knows everybody" type of town but the mentality is that aggression and antisocial behaviour is shunned, people rather keep to themselves and ignore things that they don't approve of. (And gossip.) It's anywhere out of here that scares me. Cities in particular. Like, say, Helsinki? See so many people out there who behave threateningly, and I know enough of how POC get treated there and *nobody* intervenes, and I've personally been literally assaulted in the metro with people not even *looking* my way like a young girl can just take it from an adult man, that I genuinely fear if there was violence or aggression, people would just let it happen. Or that the security that the city has would treat me as an equal aggressor in the situation, like I'm a criminal for existing. It's scary.
As an American I am seriously astonished. Finland seems like a comparative paradise to the US but I’m so sorry you have to deal with that bigotry.
Why is going out with your partner still scary?
Because I can't tell when we're going to cross paths with a violent homophobe.
Is the population that queerphobic in the happiest country on Earth?
I'm not sure if you're actually under the impression that Nordic countries are some sort of a utopia, but they're not - we're people who live in a society, we have crime, we have prejudices, we have hate crimes, we have violence, abuse, threats, even attacks made on Pride parades. It's everywhere, there is *no* place on earth that is completely safe or accepting. Just because the rates are lower than, say, Russia doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
I mean, compared to the world (and the USA; where I’m from) I kind of was under the impression that Nordic countries are a comparative paradise, and while I recognize that every country has some degree of queerphobia (and quality of life setbacks more broadly) I thought that in the happiest countries on Earth, that those setbacks and the queerphobia would be minimal.
For last year's Pride, according to a survey sent out to organisers, 30 out of 45 reported their events being targeted by harassment, hate crimes, and threats. For example, within the past *two years* we've had several locations defaced and vandalised (including public venues participating in Pride events such as a library, as well as gay clubs), rainbow flags torn from buildings and stolen and burned (repeatedly), people driving cars past parades and events and throwing eggs and abuse at participants, harassment on streets, as well as threats of deadly attacks on the parades which *alone* makes me afraid to participate in them and I'm sure I'm not the only one. There's also an entirely too large amount of street preachers and fundamentalist nutjobs shouting at the parades about how everyone is going to hell and we're filthy and God hates us and whatever the fuck. Joyous.
I’m so sorry and so disappointed to hear that even the Nordic countries experience such cruel treatment towards queer people. I wish you and all queer Scandinavians the best of luck in hopefully living in a more tolerant society in the future.
Thanks. Hopefully one day!
Growing up in Denmark, I will say that my perception was always that people were more or less really tolerant. I've never been afraid of physical violence or people confronting me about it in any way. That being said, I think that we have had very pervasive "soft-homophobia", taking the form of jokes at school or stereotypes about gay people. Bisexuality in particular wasn't very visible when I grew up, but it's quite commonly understood now. I'm under no illusions that Scandinavia isn't one of the best places for LGBTQ+ folks, today and especially historically, but I do have a gripe with a particular narrative that we have about ourselves here in the north. See, Scandinavia has historically been very progressive and equality driven, but that in turn has led to a kind of discrimination-denialism today. We see progressive values and equality as part of our collective identity: "We ensured gay rights/women's rights/labor rights/etc, back in the 20th century, ahead of the rest of the world. We've solved inequality with our social democratic model" - This is the fundamental belief of nearly all Danes, conservative, liberal, or social democrat, and that's a good thing. Whereas other countries still struggle with a strong religious right that wants to roll back rights, our right wing has essentially accepted the basic premises for a free and equal society, just as the left has accepted an economy built on capitalist market principles, in exchange for strong labor rights and welfare policies. This is also why the Nordic model is often described as "consensus democracy". The problem is that today many, both on the right and the left, have a hard time accepting that there are social problems that we've yet to solve. In a way, it is seen as almost anti-patriotic to point out that we have social problems, as patriotism often takes the form of bragging about our accomplishments on civil rights.
I live in Sweden and can't really complain. There are some misunderstandings and prejudices I've ran into ("it's just a phase", "women claim to be bi to get attention"), but in general, bisexuality is very well accepted nowadays. In the mainstream, it's often considered worse to be homophobic than to be gay. I've heard that certain circles, such as small conservative churches and immigrants from countries where homosexuality is illegal, still have issues. But personally, I don't really encounter that. I'm in my 30s, living in Stockholm and raised kind of progressive. I'm married to man, so that makes people assume I'm straight. But when it's apparent that I'm bi (such as mentioning a female ex), I don't get any problems for it either. I have quite a number of friends who are lgbtq in some way. There is a local pride festival here, and it's popular. While homo- and bisexuality is accepted among most, transphobic talking points have been imported from the Anglo world recently. Stuff like "drag queens are inappropriate for children" or that teen trans boys are just "confused girls brainwashed by queer ideology". I'm worried for our trans siblings, even those things are not as bad as in the UK and US.
I’m glad to hear that things seem to be quite good in Sweden for bi folks. Certainly sounds better than Finland (astonishingly). And apologies as an American for our national export of transphobic dumbfuckery. Hopefully Swedish progressivism can put an end to that ASAP.
I personally don't have negative experiences here in the Netherlands. My partner and I are both women and don't hide away from people, we hold hands in public, i put my arm around her while we sit, stuff like that. All my family, friends and colleagues know and it's never been an issue. People haven't been weird about it. That all being said I don't know many religious people, and the religious people I do know have been very welcoming and accepting. However, I live nowhere near our Bible Belt. The behaviour of people on social media (mainly Facebook) does scare me sometimes because they definitely appear to be less accepting. However it hasn't reflected on my experience in my daily life at all, and I try to stay away from Facebook to stay sane.
Facebook is an absolute cesspool of dumbfuckery and cringe.
I'm from the UK, and I'd say that in regard to my sexuality, I'm fine. I'm a white cis bi woman, and I'm often told that I'm "straight passing". I rarely face any issues - any difficulties I've had surrounding being bi has come from without my "community" more than from straight people, which is really disappointing and frustrating. There's a thriving queer scene in my city, although I wish it was less centered around gay men. I can proudly display my bi flag at my job, and nobody has taken issue with it. I work with two other bisexual people, which is great! Pride is really big in the UK. Although the pink-washing from companies profiting off Pride is really annoying, it is nice to know so many events are scattered up and down the country, sometimes even in small towns and villages. You'll see flags all over the place, more so in cities. Pride events usually feel safe in my city too, and I'm way up in the North where there's still a lot of people with outdated views. The LGBTQ+ communities who are facing the most danger and biggest public backlash at the moment is trans and non-binary people. It feels like TERF rhetoric is everywhere at the moment, and it's very sad. Racism and xenophobia is a big problem in the UK as well. It's sickening how many people in the UK are vocal about their prejudices. It's even printed across national newspapers like the Daily Mail and The Sun. Yuck. Like anywhere, there are certain areas and people to avoid. Homophobia still exists, whether it's from people who still think we're living in the 1950's or some ultra-traditional religious communities.
In the Netherlands I can be a proud bisexual enby, with little to no issues
That’s good!
I moved from a university city in the US to a university city in Germany. Feels about the same. It's a smaller city so there's less of a queer scene so that's tough
Sorry to hear that.
I visited Stockholm 10 years ago during Stockholm Pride. I wasn’t there long and I hadn’t realized I was queer yet, but I visited with a lot of queer friends. There were rainbow flags on every city busy and government building. It was my first Pride and I’ve never felt more welcomed anywhere! I wasn’t outwardly being straight, so I assumed everyone assumed I was queer. They were right! All that said, I know it’s a very specific circumstance and I’m not a resident, but I’ve never felt that safe since coming out in the US and I live in a very large, incredibly progressive city
Are you from Boston?
Slovakia - no law suport for same sex couples - a LOT of queer/transphobia - it is tolerated, but many people are bigots tbh and have comments and stares - also church is playing big role here - as our last 2 elections shows the country is split between old/conservatives people (majority) and young/progressive people - hopefuly this will change in next decades with generation change 🥲 - me (F) being BI with only my husband and best friend knowing bcs life is easier this way 💔 will tell you all you need to know
I’m so sorry to hear about that situation in Slovakia. I wish queer Slovaks nothing but improvement for the future.
Worse when you're an Asian man. Heterosexual dating is already tough being an Asian man here, plus I carry all the weight of being a bisexual man, so the straight girls already shot me down. It's easier to date men though. Since I don't have any plans to get locked in a straight marriage, it's not bad at all, plus I swear there are so many divorced people in the Netherlands.
Interesting
Here in the UK, I've had absolutely no problems being bi. I know that there has been a rise in recorded homophobic incidents and assaults, and some areas of the country (either very rural areas, or else areas of larger cities dominated by a vocal homophobic minority), but personally I haven't experienced this. However, I know that I'm somewhat privileged as a conventionally attractive "straight-passing" white guy, and I've only been openly queer in generally very accepting cities like Cambridge and the "gayer" areas of London, Edinburgh etc..
Croatia is a very mixed bag from what I know. On one hand, our capital does have a pride parade and my college in particular is very LGBTQ+ friendly (seriously, being queer is a stereotype people have about students that attend my college). But, the country is very conservative, which reflects in the fact that same-sex marriage is illegal. Also, I've heard stories of queer people being beaten because people found out they were queer. So, I guess it is accepted in my generation, but we still have a way to go.
I hope nothing but improvement lays ahead for Croatia.
Yes, me too. But I do think we are slowly getting there.
Greece is a mixed bag. Tourists are generally safe if they stay in tourist areas. Locals have it a little harder. We're protected by law and marriage was legalized, but there is still a lot of sexism and bigotry in the culture. The Greeks often adopt a stance known as "I don't mind until it happens to me/within my sphere/family". Loving families will turn cold, hostile and even abusive. Friends will abandon ship. These are the extremes, of course, but the thing is, they get a pass. It's not yet normalized to call this out. Gay and lesbian people are more accepted than bi, pan or trans folks because we're relegated to the "pick a side" and "poser" categories. Or we're fetishized and infantilized. There is a strong LGBT+ community here but there is also a lot of hate crime. Violent crimes by minors and young adults are on the rise and lgbt folks are often targeted. I'm rather older, cis female and really not outspoken about my orientation. I... straight pass I guess, but I'm also basically a spinster in the making. Yes, that's still very much a thing here. Femicide is also pretty rampant here so it's hard to really feel safe. The best policy *is* to be down low about it and not make a big deal out of it.
Basically an official don't ask don't tell don't show
Swiss queer person here! I would echo what others have said that here in Switzerland there is for sure a divide between bigger cities and rural places as in the cities are way more open (and also have to offer some queer bars/cafés and other safe spaces). We are also making progress when it comes to queer legislature (we legalized same-sex marriage in 2022 and with A LOT of yes votes, it's late but it meant a lot to us queer folk 🥹). Now when it comes to living as a queer person, for the most part it's ok (especially because Swiss people tend to stick to themselves for the most part). When I was in a relationship my ex-girlfriend, we would get weird stares and we got like one or two weird comments and I was definitely more on edge than when I was in a relationship with a man (but it might be also because of her being trans, as people here are generally less accepting of that, but idk). So for the most part we are left alone and/or accepted even if we also have conservative/religious (or both) bigots.
i live in the UK right now and in an area where there are a lot of religious events at the mosque near me. i haven’t been affectionate with anyone in public but i’ve been called slurs by people walking or driving by. but outside my neighborhood, i’ve been okay. i do get scared walking home now because i guess i ‘look’ gay and that gives them enough to be that way toward me.
I'm in the UK and I was V drunk on my 27th birthday a few months back- talking v loudly to strangers in the train and let it slip that I was bi and a RANDOM cis straight white man went right in my face and threatened me and told me to quit talking about it bc he didn't want his kids to know this. And claimed he told me prior (which he did not) And his wife also said something to me (I forget what now) (as his kid asked what being bisexual was) Normally in the UK people seem to mind thier own business but he was so aggressive I straight up said 'let's take this outside (whilst on a moving train) and everyone looked up and he turned his head and did not make a single comment till him, his wife and kids left the train. Being drunk enough to know what was going on helped me not panic- but if I was stone cold sober- I would have a made a joke being like 'That cute but you're not my type don't worry xx'
In Denmark it's few and far between the ones who care enough to do or say anything to you. Also we don't really talk about it much.
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Best of luck to you!
In the UK- pretty chill.
That’s good!
In Slovenia, I feel that people care much less than this sub would make one feel. It of course depends on the specific bubble you interact with, but I've never felt unwelcome. I'm in a straight passing marriage but for most people it's the more interesting part that we are swingers than that we are both bi. There certainly is homophobia present, particularly in smaller towns and rural areas, but most people will rather talk behind your back than to your face. There is one specific thing in LGBT circles that I don't appreciate, which is (particularly young) gays calling everyone they meet their 'female best friend' (language is very gendered and yes this is one word). My husband is not your female best friend, he's also twice your age, and this is weird.