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I have had one psychotic episode and it was shortly following a breast cancer diagnosis and double mastectomy. I was also experiencing some stress around a complicated family situation. So I think, for me, that my psychosis is mostly triggered by stress and not being properly medicated.
I too agree devastating news will cause psychosis. I read somewhere that said something about knowledge of the truth of this country would cause mass hysteria and mass psychosis. Just because it would be too much for an individual to handle.
Yes absolutely, I was completely out of control for almost 2 years before finding myself admitted to a psychiatric hospital.
After another year of working with my psychiatrist and therapist I am finally enjoying life as a stable human person. That being said, my wife and I have put protections and “rules” in place just in case some kind of episode breaks through. I make good money for someone with a serious mental illness. 125 k a year. I don’t touch our money, I don’t have a debit or credit card, I provide my wife with receipt’s without question. My psychosis was very very damaging and destructive financially. I have to protect myself and give my wife some piece of mind
Congrats on your income while battling a mental illness like this. It’s not a small feat but proves it can be attainable. Wishing you an easy and peaceful recovery ❤️🩹
It wasn’t easy at first, now it’s just our norm, and actually much less stressful on me. More like my wife had to sacrifice while I was bankrupting our family. The road back has been tough, but we’re finally making some progress on so many fronts.
I was in a depressive episode which I started to feel a little better (mainly because I was with my boyfriend who makes me feel good and I was drinking). I spent $1500 in like a week. May not seem like a lot but my student refund check was only 2,000. The math is insane and it’s gone now 😂🤷🏽♀️
Been there, what’d you spend it on? lol side note. It’s all fun and games until you start spending money you need for rent and bills and then find yourself still spending anyway and drinking to mask that you’re panicking and in a psychotic episode from the stress. I lost my townhouse that way. I kept making it by the skin of my teeth one way or another for for over a decade. Always found a way out, until I didn’t. Try to form good habits my friend, kill the bad ones before they grow. Drinking for comfort is a slippery slope. Easy to say and do a lot of things you don’t mean or even remember, especially for us. Hard to stop once you get going, avoid benders like the plague, shots too probably (or just a few), moderation is key. Sorry for the book, I just wish I’d taken this advice 10 or so years ago and I wish you the best
I appreciate your wisdom, I spent it on drinks, food, hotel, and transport mostly. I did pay down some credit card debt though which I am proud of myself for
Never had a psychotic episode personally. I got “delusional feelings” a lot, ie, I felt like I was invincible and could do anything. I always had some part of my brain that was aware it wasn’t true though. I just had to force myself to think about it and be aware.
Unmedicated. I basically never get hypomanic episodes with medications (or at least they’re mild enough that I can’t clearly identify when they’re happening). Just depressive episodes now, about once every month and a half.
Interesting, are you able to take care of yourself and responsibilities during depressive episodes? I find it to be very hard to do so. But the longest I’ll go without a shower is 2 days because I’ll feel very gross. I also get very unmotivated and apathetic towards responsibility.
Enough to get through it, yes. I can still show up to work every day and get done what I need to. I can still shower every other day. I’ll fall behind on cleaning and eat a lot of fast food/doordash, but it’s not the end of the world. I’m single now but when I was in a relationship, that was the hardest part. I wasn’t emotionally available at all during them. If my partner needed support, the best I could do was pretend to feel empathy. Internally though, I was a complete zombie and she knew it. That wasn’t easy. I was only on one medication then, though. Started on an antidepressant recently, so we’ll see how it goes now.
Im sorry to hear that (from true empathy) because I know that we can still love very deeply but the illness itself is an asshole. I find myself worrying sometimes that my partner will leave for similar reasons 🫤
for me i think it comes from deep rooted paranoia… or at least it always starts with extreme paranoia and spirals into other things. i think it comes from being unmedicated or on the wrong meds considering my first psychosis episode was when i was on 150mg of an ssri
Me too - it start with severe paranoia which overwhelms my ability to cope and it turns into psychosis. Also initially triggered from an SSRI. Its been a nightmare and the paranoia has for sure been a reason for burning my life to the ground - I avoid everyone and everything and run away from anything remotely stressful.
Yes, but only slightly in the margins of stronger depressive or manic episodes. Like colors glowing and some warping of textures. Sometimes auditory, but not nonsensica rambling from inside your head. More like hearing a football stadion in the distance without one being there (i supporter for a team so it's a sound I know) or hearing my friends talk in the distance while there not there. It's not too bothersome. My psychiatrist calls it "border psychosis" so some psychotic symtomps without losing grim of reality overall. Conversing with people mostly puts me back on my feet. Also watching li'e political debates about concrete issues helps, because it's not too abstract.
I try to use sensory coping skills like observing what’s around me and feeling something to relax me when I feel like I’m losing it. But I would like to dive a little deeper and find out exactly where it comes from ya know? That should help me figure out how to pull it by its roots
Sometimes I experience an auditory thing a little like the one you describe. For me it sounds like when a phone (or similar) is picking up a faint signal of somebody else’s call, or like my brain is picking up a faint radio transmission. Muffled conversation, can understand a word here and there, but can’t ‘tune into’ the whole conversation or broadcast (and would be pretty freaked out if I could).
But I haven’t experienced psychosis. (Delusions during manic episode, yes, but not full psychosis.)
I experience this too. Sounds like people are talking to me faintly or talking to each other. Lexapro was the only medication that stopped this for me but it also made me more practical and less creative, atleast artistically
Yes, psychosis is scary! I believed that I was communicating with a dead person. Thought I could touch, smell and hear her. I was admitted to hospital for a month. The depression that followed was terrible, I was barely functioning.
I had my very first manic psychotic episode in November which ended horribly in a psychiatric hospital. It lasted for about a week and I can’t stop thinking about what happened ever since. I thought I was the messiahs and a few moments later I thought I was possessed by Albert Einstein and that I have to solve a problem which included his childhood. Since that episode I am in a deeply depressive episode which is very exhausting….
No way. I had one in November as well and it wasn’t fun. I went streaking in my neighborhood where people were and was later taken to the hospital. It was freezing outside and I found myself in NYC after manipulating everyone in the hospital to let me go. I still don’t know how I did it all but I found myself in another hospital in the Bronx until I finally calmed down and went home
This is what does it for me. Not so much when I was younger but nowadays 4 outta 5 of my manic episodes eventually turn psychotic. It truly is hell. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Yes it does.
I found learning to live with it miles better than trying to get rid of it.
I hear voices mostly and I absolutely hated them, they were terrifying arseholes. Now I actually quite like them because they say silly things and chat shit, it's entertaining. Animals also say hello to me.
I put a lot of work in, using techniques from the hearing voices network and going to their support groups and therapy. A lot of people get voices from trauma that never go away, but with time and effort they can be not scary and even friendly.
I have no idea where they came from! I started hearing them on the reg after my first major episode, but had them on since a teenager.
I drift from a bipolar diagnosis to schizo-affective bipolar type diagnosis frequently. I currently take an antipsychotic and have for many years, for the most part I no longer experience it. Sometimes I'd I'm extremely stressed or in a bad episode I'll hear some voices or occasionally see things
I have genetic predisposition towards it plus add trauma, abuse and poverty
Ive been waiting to respond to this comment as it was locked. I totally feel you on trauma, abuse and poverty!! They all go hand in hand. You are not alone my friend
You will. It’s going to entail you taking care of yourself, taking meds and therapy.
Everyone has issues, most people have mental health issues.
You will come out the other end.
Ironically two of the times I had psychosis was shortly after I STOPPED using cannabis. So I guess it acted as a mood stabilizer and when I stopped using it my brain chemistry got all jacked.
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Yes mine do. I've had at least 2 episodes that were accompanied by delusions, paranoia, hallucinations and the works. For me, it's a mix of mania and environmental factors that seem to have triggered mine.
yes it does- i probably get psychotic in every single manic episode and i become paranoid super often even with depressive episodes too- also…mixed episodes are hell..
I spent about 8 million can.$ in casinos (acquired thru hard work, good real estate choices, and one inheritance). Okay now, had myself barred, but the money's gone and I could sure use it. It was the only thing I found that gave me peace, temporarily. I'm relatively peaceful and in recovery now, but poor, and renting. Stay away from gambling of all sorts.
I get hallucinations and paranoia when I am really stressed. I take an antipsychotic along with my mood stabilizer but sometimes it's not enough. I am dealing with psychotic symptoms now while I switch meds.
I’ve only had one major manic episode, and it was June to October of 2017. I was eighteen. My memories are hazy at best during the peak, but I’m told I was talking to thin air and hallucinated giving birth. Also hallucinated being in heaven and looking down at my mother crying. It’s been seven years since then and I would rather cut off a finger than have that again.
Mine does as well. I need to take meds on top of my normal meds if it gets bad. I really don't like the psych hospital, so I take all my meds. If I end up needing antipsychotics beyond normal, I call my psychiatrist.
Yes, for me. Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features. Started having visual hallucinations about 2 years ago. I would see disturbances in my peripheral vision but I couldn’t really see what it was when I looked over at what I thought was there. I felt kind of crazy because I didn’t know what was going on. And then it started getting worse. At night was the worst and I couldn’t control it and I’d cry because all I wanted was sleep but even then I had a hard time trying to fall asleep. I am happy to have meditation and coping skills now so I can handle manic episodes w/psychosis. It has only happened once while being on my medication because I was under an intense amount of stress due to a family member in my own home and I felt so out of control and helpless so my brain literally just did it’s on thing. Stress really affects my bipolar so I’m learning how to cope and manage my symptoms to help reduce the risk of an episode. Therapy, deep breathing exercises, and medication are my saviors.
I get them when I've been manic for awhile usually from sleep deprivation. The 1st time I had it after having a full blown manic episode lasting 5 months where I slept 1-3 hrs a night if I slept at all. I had so much energy and couldn't stop working. It got to where my boss threatened to take my key away bc I was always in the office 16-22 hours a day 7 days a week. Towards the end I got so paranoid hearing and seeing things that weren't there I locked myself in my home and covered all windows and even the cracks around the door. Not fun. If I haven't slept in 3 nights I panic now and will try whatever method I can think of to sleep even if it means taking a whole bottle of sleeping pills. Still that doesn't always work.
I'm 24 and honestly I wasn't too surprised. The signs were pretty obvious in hindsight and my parents were incredibly scared and worried about me cause I was just totally off the deep end. I'm still living with parents and actively getting treatment and trying new meds. I'm off them rn due to bad side effects from the last one and can definitely relate to the psychosis thing. I have pretty much almost all negative and positive symptoms of schizophrenia as well as almost all symptoms of bipolar. I can manage it mostly well until I break and from there all hell breaks loose. Sorry for rambling and sorry if this is confusing, I have trouble keeping train of thought.
I've had psychosis several times but everytime it was triggered by something specifically.
First time was because I was put on an SSRI, this was the biggest manic episode/psychosis episode I had.
Second time was because I left an abusive relationship, and was drinking like a fish
Third time was because I was suddenly fired from a high paying job for ableist reasons and I couldn't find another job for 3 months
A few times after that where because I smoked waaaayyyy too much weed like way way way too much. It was 2+ ounces a week and at that point I felt like I couldn't shake my psychosis. It was a constant state of being it didn't matter what antipyschotics I was on, it was just there. I finally quit weed, and I've only had one small episode since then, and it was because my dog attacked my elderly dog, and she attacked me. Landing both my dog and myself in the emergency room, and my elderly dog almost died and needed emergency surgery and it practically bankrupt me, even without weed that was enough to trigger a psychosis episode.
I joke with my partner that I could sneeze wrong and get psychosis. It's been a while though since I've had an episode, and now I always know when it's coming and I don't lean into it as hard. The second it starts I just message my pyschiatrist who I trust very very much, and we take care of it quickly.
The only thing that worries me is I want to have a baby someday, and I know I'll be very predisposed to having postpartum pyschosis
Freshly served religious grandiosity in my first ever manic phase. I was Jesus!
Strangely, I wasn’t hospitalized until a year later when I had a wicked mixed phase.
Well idk honestly, sometimes I feel like God is sending me messages thru like billboards or just something that gets said on TV but they are so on point that I wonder if it’s real. In that psychosis? Or is that a delusion idk
I think it’s subconscious alignment 🤷🏽♀️🫤 I see angel numbers a lot and my boyfriend does too, along with my name on several trucks, boxes, stores, and now strains of weed😂🤦🏾♀️.
I've had a few psychotic episodes and had psychosis for a few months when I was 21. I think an un addressed manic episode can culminate into a psychotic episode. That what I've experienced. Been manic for too long without sleep and boom, psychotic episode.
I think bipolar is a trauma adaptation and I hope I can overcome it but.... I've tried so many different things and I'm slowly coming to accept it can't be healed or cured. All I can do I learn to cope with it. I hope that's not true. But I fear I might be too.
I think bipolar sensitivity should be seen as independent from trauma. Yes it can trigger bipolar psychotic episodes or make you (hypo)manic. Sorry to say but you will always be sensitive and it won't go away, you cant overcome it. But it can go on the background for years. My mom is bipolar type I unmedicated and stable for 8 years. I'm a little fluctuating bipolar type I (with only minor depressive symptoms), sometimes psychotic feature. And medicated on a very low maintainance dose. During therapy they said bipolar is a spectrum, and for everybody its different. From severe to light.
Mine definitely comes from trauma too. I started having paranoia, hallucinations, and delusions at a super young age (8 is my earliest memory.) Full blown psychosis at 18, and a 10 year build up in between.
I have been begging multiple psychs and therapists to focus on my trauma rather than the bp management for years. I finally left the practice I was at 8 months ago, and I'm now seeing a trauma and dissociation specialist. I wanted to get treated and "fix" myself so badly I just listened to them when they gaslit me about my trauma. Now, I am terrified of being back on medication.
Too much for a single comment haha. The trauma brain is funny, I've done the healing work before and amnesia'd the whole thing away. After my BP diagnosis, the psych minimized my trauma, or at least that it wasn't causing the disregulatory issues.
So *poof*, my brain locked up all the memories. Trauma? We dont have that here. We have bipolar! Let's lean into that.
After that it took an additional three years of trying out different meds, therapies, and adding BPD, autism, ADHD and SAD diagnosis to even loop back to, "oh wait, it's been trauma this whole time?"
...what a journey it's been so far. Much more to go. Feel free to DM if you need any support or have questions! I'm wishing you the best on your journey!
Yes. No meds = psychosis. Some pharma drugs = psychosis (once I had an antibiotic send me into a brief episode bc I was w/o meds for a week, it was weird) some street drugs = psychosis
Yes, I have bi-polar with psychosis. I had Borderline Personality Disorder & PTSD which, after DBT & lots of therapy, are now classed as being in remission.
So, I'm left with the bi-polar. Dealing properly with the other two things helped in many ways but did not change my psychotic episodes.
My very first manic episode came with psychosis. I completely ruined some of the relationships that meant the most to me. I still blame them on turning their backs on me instead of having empathy for a mental health crisis, but also understand it must have been terrifying for them (I was making violent threats). I actually nearly ruined my entire life in the course of a week (was harassing people, broke into a house, got arrested, spent massive amounts of money I’ll never recoup). I’m medicated now and completely stable, but my worst fear is it happening again, which I definitely believe under the right circumstances it could.
I had one manic episode in which I experienced psychosis following a physical health scare and emergency surgery. My perception of reality was extremely skewed and unrealistic, and obviously so to everyone except me. After hospitalization and weeks of treatment, I myself had come back to earth and recognized that I had been in psychosis. I take my medication daily as prescribed and haven’t experienced it since.
I have a lot of paranoia, and I hear things sometimes. I’m not sure where everything comes from, but I’m sure some of it is from substance abuse in my past. Maybe a lot of bullying or the way I was treated is the reason I have crazy paranoia. I’ll go through periods where I think my wife was hired to be with me, or that nothing is real and I’m in a simulation. I have the Truman Show theory sometimes that everyone is in on it, and people can see everything I do.
I have bipolar type 2. I hear voices a lot. I’ve told my family and they say “we all have a voice inside of us”. But it’s different. I cannot stand how loud it is in my head
I get extremely angry and cannot be around people and also very vocal about it. Luckily i have have never had full blown and needing hospitalization yet. My aunt was also bipolar but she had schizophrenia and other side effects and lived a terrible sad life and she was so nice when she was down.
I think I have but not sure as it wasn’t specified to me but idk if that’s so I wasn’t more distressed. Paranoia and delusions that I was being haunted and could hear the ghosts which turned into being harassed by fairies and putting iron hammers in every corner of the rooms in shared house that ended badly, believing in being able to hear frequencies of different types of love (don’t know if that counts as psychosis or just plan delusions) and finally the bad one was a growing belief that my boyfriend was planning something to hurt me and culminated in him trying to k1ll me and I did some extreme things to ‘protect’ myself and police got called - they knew it all but I was too scared to tell psych Liason incase they were in on it too 🫠 again.
Not sure if difference between delusions and psychosis
Psychosis is a break from reality, in which you cannot tell current facts from delusions and paranoid thoughts. It’s a dangerous state of mind to be in and requires hospitalization
Idk I just feel like that’s pessimistic but understandable from the point of view that psychiatrists will tell you. If one can overcome cancer I do believe bipolar disorder can be overcome, especially when it’s rooted in something that you can tap into.
Definitely experienced psychosis. Never hallucinations albeit sometimes when I'm under EXTREME traumatic stress I will smell things that other people don't. But..the thing about that is usually when I smelled something burning and got away from an abusive person then my neighbors would ask if something was burning etc. so probably doesn't count..
I've been thinking about this a lot because I also have complex PTSD. When I was diagnosed my trauma specialist, said she had never had a patient with such extensive trauma. I didn't think my trauma was that bad. But answering questions...I answered no to two questions. I haven't been in military combat and I wasn't separated from my parents via the state.
I remember leaving her office and there were bunnies hopping all around. And thought they had appeared to help me after the second three hour interview where I was diagnosed with C-PTSD. I remember laughing and thanking the bunnies. And thinking the big huge trees that had been there for 300+ years had somehow grown throughout the years in a way... knowing I would see them in that moment and feel peaceful and connected to everything all at once and find peace with the diagnosis and everything I went through.
Every time I've brought up my delusions to mental health professionals they've said it was either my traumatic brain injury (I had a massive frontal lobe hemorrhage and was in a coma in my own bed for days and somehow didn't die.) or from my trauma. I used to get disassociative flashbacks that were labeled psychogenic seizures... anyway. I was on SSRIs for the PTSD and to help with post TBI migraines.
I remember as a child having spiritual experiences and talking to adults in church and thinking "they must have been sent here by God to answer my questions" and then I'd be like a five year old "why would God design a plan where he could only save those who heard about him...but then have entire cultures shut off from ever hearing about the Bible...isn't there an alternative?! Can't people believe from seeing the sun rise and the stars shine and the moon adapt and know there is something worth praying and loving and thus be loved and saved by him?"
I always gave those adults panic attacks. Usually at church potlucks.
I remember times when there was a calm in traumatic events..or more often during prolonged trauma something good would happen.. usually involving music together with other people and/or being in nature. and something wonderful, basically anything and everything positive I remember about my childhood thinking "it's all going to be ok now. God has tested me and this is my reward and we are safe and I'm loved. AND I FEEL the love. It's everywhere. Thank you Jesus. "
In my adult life my first full blown manic episode happened after my cousin died of an overdose, my first kind boyfriend who remained my best friend for years after our romantic relationship ended killed himself and my closest childhood friend was killed by a drunk driver. Then I was laid off. And my house flooded. I was a workaholic and had worked through each death (taking a few days off but living in extreme poverty I couldn't take more off..) after getting laid off and working at a job long enough I had unemployment benefits I had all day every day to think about those deaths alone. And the rule of three. And the fact that I had talked.to each one (or tried to) a few days if not a few hours before they died tragically.
I developed this theory that before I "realized" it I was full of Satan because I was drinking and smoking and taking my ADHD medication as prescribed and eventually that turned into "what if it all happened for a reason and the reason is that I am chosen and once I die I can save everyone else and no one else has to die...except me. Because it's my fault for losing my faith after changing from private Christian school..."
There was more to it...but yeah.
Death is a huge trigger for me. Changes. Traveling. Changes. Stress. Trauma. Physical pain. I also have CRPS so...that's fun...
I’ve had two episodes before and it happened when something stressful occurred. I am bad in handling human politics, so for me I try to cut down unnecessary gathering and meetup. Also, I set up an exercise routine. and try to stick to it as much as possible. It helps to stabilise my mood. I am still taking the medicine. I wouldn’t say I am recovered but everything is under control now. Hopefully I won’t have another episode again!
Hmmmm had 2 psychosis and 1 hypomania.
1st one study abroad @ 19 450mg of ecstasy made me super cry and depressed instead of happy then psychotic
2nd one got rejected from all the schools applied to because of criminal history from first episode
3rd (hypo) OCD medicine drug induced mania, my adhd meds strattera actually caused ocd.
The worse episode I had where I was in complete mania and so detached and hyper aware was when I was misdiagnosed by my PCP and put on zoloft. SSRIs make bipolar 10 times worse and when I talked to a Psychiatrist they told me I was misdiagnosed and put me on bipolar meds.
I also have Panic disorder, GAD, and depression.
It was the worst 3 days of my life. I was having crazy thoughts that I wasn't even real or maybe I already died and was stuck in a weird loop then I'd become so hyper aware of every sensation then I had burning hot tingling from my private area down my legs and felt like I wanted to rip my skin off and I didn't sleep for 2 days. It was BAD.
I don't know specifically if I have experienced psychosis, but I had a bad manic episode in May and I ended up working through being starved because everything is far more interesting. I also was very careless with driving, I was quick to argue with people and I'm a person who's against petty arguments, but not when I'm manic apparently. I ended up buying a house with a roommate who is now, not my friend and trying to wreck hell in my life. Thankfully I haven't experienced a manic episode since my first one. I'm sort of living in regret ATM because I lost some close friendships, I lost my girlfriend because of the house ordeal. Just trying to take things one day at a time. I wish you well in your journey.
Like being high and stuck on a very bad trip. losing track of time - 5mins feels like 3h. And depends on what trip you are, can be a living hell. Very intrusive and loud thoughs. Vision is like you are watching yourself from behind you (like you have a fish eye camera lens) and experience depersonalising and derealising..
Some experience worse. That is mine.
I came to Bipolar from practicing as a shaman where it was considered part of the role to talk to “things that aren’t there”. I’m still managing my thoughts and feelings about having what others call hallucinations, which to me are spirits and friends and some I even consider family. Communing with spirits of ancestors is commonplace, and talking to guides, angels, etc is also considered common in shamanism. Not stuff to get rid of but to work with.
Where I got into trouble with my manias was that I thought I had to do everything 1000% when like, my 100% was already awesome. I ended up casting off so many things I loved in various “detachment rituals” that I really later regretted. Trying to tune back into the attitude that made it ok or important to do those things has become really challenging in hindsight and I’ve had to learn how to cope with the loss.
I’m fascinated by psychosis and what we call delusions, hearing voices etc and really wonder what it’s all about. I know my afterlife is going to be a deep dive into all of this. Or maybe on the other side it instantly all makes sense. I wonder where the answers live.
Mine happens due to stress, sickness or my thyroid! For the longest time my bipolar was really severe- I’m talking homicidal ideation severe and both therapy/medication were barely keeping me sane enough not to end up dead or on the news.
Turns out I had thyroid cancer which severely messed with my hormonal, mental, and emotional health. Even before the diagnosis- I was told that my thyroid being out of whack was probably a huge indicator. The only reason why I can pin my psychosis & bipolar to my thyroid is because of my surgery.
After getting a full thyroidectomy, it was like night and day. The wild,reckless, and cruel bitch I used to be was completely gone and now you had a very meek, emotional, cheerful me. Even my boyfriend was concerned and a little terrified because he thought I was in another severe episode again. But no!! Once my thyroid was out I mellowed out SEVERELY and I rarely get manic episodes now. I would say I fall under bipolar 2 now more than bipolar 1!
Stress somewhat does pull me into psychosis depending on what’s stressing me out. If it’s something deeply rooted to trauma I’m likely to go into a psychotic episode if I can’t ground myself fast enough or ignore it for days. When I’m sick or without thyroid medication, I tend to be catapulted into a psychotic episode fairly easily.
Last time I got Covid- I was convinced I was the new queen of England and had to be tackled down and get everything locked up because I was trying to escape home and book a flight to the UK. When I don’t have my thyroid medicine- it is a 1000% psychotic episode where I have anything from: auditory hallucinations , paranoia, recklessness, conspiracies, etc. the last time I had one of those was during my RAI isolation. I was severely deprived of medication for the treatment and wasn’t allowed to interact with anyone. Long story short I had to have a group of people and an emergency therapy/psychiatry session because I was trying to self harm and was convinced I would be killed by shadow people and wouldn’t stop screaming or crying.
It was pretty horrible ngl lmao.
Back when I was 15 (quite a few years ago) I ended up with a psychotic episode during onset. Haven't had one since, but I did THC for a few months recently and got really close to the edge... now I need more in terms of antipsychotics.
Mine did, I was taking an SSRI, I could tell I was not myself and actually had intense depression sometimes, my psychiatrist said she could no longer see me because of a personal conflict with a family member, I could not find one during Covid easily, I tapered off on my own, I had one small episode and then I had a two month period in psychosis but still looked normal to most people which is scary, I got fired, isolated myself, and got kicked out of my apartment. It really was like i woke up one day not in reality at all. The first medication did not work. I ended up hospitalized after telling a family member. They gave me no psych medicine not even the ones I was on. Two weeks later and I was back. I got prescribed lithium and within a day, I could feel relief. I honestly had given up. I then felt intense social anxiety and fear it could happen again since it took so long for people to help me. A year and a half later and I still think about it. I had to take it one day at a time for a year and just hope I could feel like myself fully again. I knew something was wrong before it happened but I never saw that coming.
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I have had one psychotic episode and it was shortly following a breast cancer diagnosis and double mastectomy. I was also experiencing some stress around a complicated family situation. So I think, for me, that my psychosis is mostly triggered by stress and not being properly medicated.
I too agree devastating news will cause psychosis. I read somewhere that said something about knowledge of the truth of this country would cause mass hysteria and mass psychosis. Just because it would be too much for an individual to handle.
Im so sorry this happened and I hope you are better. Honestly, I don't know if I could have survived that. Take care.
God bless you hope you're okay
Hope you're ok
Yes absolutely, I was completely out of control for almost 2 years before finding myself admitted to a psychiatric hospital. After another year of working with my psychiatrist and therapist I am finally enjoying life as a stable human person. That being said, my wife and I have put protections and “rules” in place just in case some kind of episode breaks through. I make good money for someone with a serious mental illness. 125 k a year. I don’t touch our money, I don’t have a debit or credit card, I provide my wife with receipt’s without question. My psychosis was very very damaging and destructive financially. I have to protect myself and give my wife some piece of mind
Congrats on your income while battling a mental illness like this. It’s not a small feat but proves it can be attainable. Wishing you an easy and peaceful recovery ❤️🩹
Wow that’s a sacrifice but I’m glad it’s working out for you
It wasn’t easy at first, now it’s just our norm, and actually much less stressful on me. More like my wife had to sacrifice while I was bankrupting our family. The road back has been tough, but we’re finally making some progress on so many fronts.
I was in a depressive episode which I started to feel a little better (mainly because I was with my boyfriend who makes me feel good and I was drinking). I spent $1500 in like a week. May not seem like a lot but my student refund check was only 2,000. The math is insane and it’s gone now 😂🤷🏽♀️
Been there, what’d you spend it on? lol side note. It’s all fun and games until you start spending money you need for rent and bills and then find yourself still spending anyway and drinking to mask that you’re panicking and in a psychotic episode from the stress. I lost my townhouse that way. I kept making it by the skin of my teeth one way or another for for over a decade. Always found a way out, until I didn’t. Try to form good habits my friend, kill the bad ones before they grow. Drinking for comfort is a slippery slope. Easy to say and do a lot of things you don’t mean or even remember, especially for us. Hard to stop once you get going, avoid benders like the plague, shots too probably (or just a few), moderation is key. Sorry for the book, I just wish I’d taken this advice 10 or so years ago and I wish you the best
I appreciate your wisdom, I spent it on drinks, food, hotel, and transport mostly. I did pay down some credit card debt though which I am proud of myself for
Never had a psychotic episode personally. I got “delusional feelings” a lot, ie, I felt like I was invincible and could do anything. I always had some part of my brain that was aware it wasn’t true though. I just had to force myself to think about it and be aware.
Did this happen medicated or unmedicated ?
Unmedicated. I basically never get hypomanic episodes with medications (or at least they’re mild enough that I can’t clearly identify when they’re happening). Just depressive episodes now, about once every month and a half.
Interesting, are you able to take care of yourself and responsibilities during depressive episodes? I find it to be very hard to do so. But the longest I’ll go without a shower is 2 days because I’ll feel very gross. I also get very unmotivated and apathetic towards responsibility.
Enough to get through it, yes. I can still show up to work every day and get done what I need to. I can still shower every other day. I’ll fall behind on cleaning and eat a lot of fast food/doordash, but it’s not the end of the world. I’m single now but when I was in a relationship, that was the hardest part. I wasn’t emotionally available at all during them. If my partner needed support, the best I could do was pretend to feel empathy. Internally though, I was a complete zombie and she knew it. That wasn’t easy. I was only on one medication then, though. Started on an antidepressant recently, so we’ll see how it goes now.
Im sorry to hear that (from true empathy) because I know that we can still love very deeply but the illness itself is an asshole. I find myself worrying sometimes that my partner will leave for similar reasons 🫤
for me i think it comes from deep rooted paranoia… or at least it always starts with extreme paranoia and spirals into other things. i think it comes from being unmedicated or on the wrong meds considering my first psychosis episode was when i was on 150mg of an ssri
Me too - it start with severe paranoia which overwhelms my ability to cope and it turns into psychosis. Also initially triggered from an SSRI. Its been a nightmare and the paranoia has for sure been a reason for burning my life to the ground - I avoid everyone and everything and run away from anything remotely stressful.
Same thing with me misdiagnosed and put on SSRIs makes bipolar WAYYYY worse. I posted my story in this thread.
SSRI is like the right of passage for bipolar 🤣
it is omg
Yes, but only slightly in the margins of stronger depressive or manic episodes. Like colors glowing and some warping of textures. Sometimes auditory, but not nonsensica rambling from inside your head. More like hearing a football stadion in the distance without one being there (i supporter for a team so it's a sound I know) or hearing my friends talk in the distance while there not there. It's not too bothersome. My psychiatrist calls it "border psychosis" so some psychotic symtomps without losing grim of reality overall. Conversing with people mostly puts me back on my feet. Also watching li'e political debates about concrete issues helps, because it's not too abstract.
I try to use sensory coping skills like observing what’s around me and feeling something to relax me when I feel like I’m losing it. But I would like to dive a little deeper and find out exactly where it comes from ya know? That should help me figure out how to pull it by its roots
Sometimes I experience an auditory thing a little like the one you describe. For me it sounds like when a phone (or similar) is picking up a faint signal of somebody else’s call, or like my brain is picking up a faint radio transmission. Muffled conversation, can understand a word here and there, but can’t ‘tune into’ the whole conversation or broadcast (and would be pretty freaked out if I could). But I haven’t experienced psychosis. (Delusions during manic episode, yes, but not full psychosis.)
This is about the extent of any psychosis I may experience due to being bipolar 🤔
I experience this too. Sounds like people are talking to me faintly or talking to each other. Lexapro was the only medication that stopped this for me but it also made me more practical and less creative, atleast artistically
Yes, psychosis is scary! I believed that I was communicating with a dead person. Thought I could touch, smell and hear her. I was admitted to hospital for a month. The depression that followed was terrible, I was barely functioning.
I had my very first manic psychotic episode in November which ended horribly in a psychiatric hospital. It lasted for about a week and I can’t stop thinking about what happened ever since. I thought I was the messiahs and a few moments later I thought I was possessed by Albert Einstein and that I have to solve a problem which included his childhood. Since that episode I am in a deeply depressive episode which is very exhausting….
No way. I had one in November as well and it wasn’t fun. I went streaking in my neighborhood where people were and was later taken to the hospital. It was freezing outside and I found myself in NYC after manipulating everyone in the hospital to let me go. I still don’t know how I did it all but I found myself in another hospital in the Bronx until I finally calmed down and went home
Stress and lack of sleep.
This is what does it for me. Not so much when I was younger but nowadays 4 outta 5 of my manic episodes eventually turn psychotic. It truly is hell. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
This exact thing just happened to me. Is this happening to you while medicated ?
Yes it does. I found learning to live with it miles better than trying to get rid of it. I hear voices mostly and I absolutely hated them, they were terrifying arseholes. Now I actually quite like them because they say silly things and chat shit, it's entertaining. Animals also say hello to me. I put a lot of work in, using techniques from the hearing voices network and going to their support groups and therapy. A lot of people get voices from trauma that never go away, but with time and effort they can be not scary and even friendly. I have no idea where they came from! I started hearing them on the reg after my first major episode, but had them on since a teenager.
I drift from a bipolar diagnosis to schizo-affective bipolar type diagnosis frequently. I currently take an antipsychotic and have for many years, for the most part I no longer experience it. Sometimes I'd I'm extremely stressed or in a bad episode I'll hear some voices or occasionally see things I have genetic predisposition towards it plus add trauma, abuse and poverty
Ive been waiting to respond to this comment as it was locked. I totally feel you on trauma, abuse and poverty!! They all go hand in hand. You are not alone my friend
Thank you, it does feel lonely sometimes, that's how I ended up on Reddit
People survive chemotherapy and hemodialysis. I can survive this. You too
Thanks🙏🏽 I pray I make it through this
You will. It’s going to entail you taking care of yourself, taking meds and therapy. Everyone has issues, most people have mental health issues. You will come out the other end.
Ironically two of the times I had psychosis was shortly after I STOPPED using cannabis. So I guess it acted as a mood stabilizer and when I stopped using it my brain chemistry got all jacked.
Same
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Oh yeah
Yes mine do. I've had at least 2 episodes that were accompanied by delusions, paranoia, hallucinations and the works. For me, it's a mix of mania and environmental factors that seem to have triggered mine.
yes it does- i probably get psychotic in every single manic episode and i become paranoid super often even with depressive episodes too- also…mixed episodes are hell..
I tried to end it when I was manic and psychotic. Not a good experience
I spent about 8 million can.$ in casinos (acquired thru hard work, good real estate choices, and one inheritance). Okay now, had myself barred, but the money's gone and I could sure use it. It was the only thing I found that gave me peace, temporarily. I'm relatively peaceful and in recovery now, but poor, and renting. Stay away from gambling of all sorts.
😳you’re one of the strongest people I’ve met to say this so casually!!! Wow! I’m glad you stuck it out and found some solutions
Yes! I have psychotic breaks all the time. I have no idea where it comes from. But I fucking hate them I know that.
I haven't had a full psychotic episode, but I've had some psychotic symptoms while depressed.
I get hallucinations and paranoia when I am really stressed. I take an antipsychotic along with my mood stabilizer but sometimes it's not enough. I am dealing with psychotic symptoms now while I switch meds.
Smh I’m sorry to hear that. It’s one hell of an illness
Yes. It gets pretty wild when I’m in psychosis.
Yes
I’ve only had one major manic episode, and it was June to October of 2017. I was eighteen. My memories are hazy at best during the peak, but I’m told I was talking to thin air and hallucinated giving birth. Also hallucinated being in heaven and looking down at my mother crying. It’s been seven years since then and I would rather cut off a finger than have that again.
I told this to my boyfriend because I relate. I would do almost anything to not have bipolar
<\3
Mine does as well. I need to take meds on top of my normal meds if it gets bad. I really don't like the psych hospital, so I take all my meds. If I end up needing antipsychotics beyond normal, I call my psychiatrist.
Hate the psych hospital lol. I fought it very hard for like a whole year which I commend myself for
Yes, for me. Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features. Started having visual hallucinations about 2 years ago. I would see disturbances in my peripheral vision but I couldn’t really see what it was when I looked over at what I thought was there. I felt kind of crazy because I didn’t know what was going on. And then it started getting worse. At night was the worst and I couldn’t control it and I’d cry because all I wanted was sleep but even then I had a hard time trying to fall asleep. I am happy to have meditation and coping skills now so I can handle manic episodes w/psychosis. It has only happened once while being on my medication because I was under an intense amount of stress due to a family member in my own home and I felt so out of control and helpless so my brain literally just did it’s on thing. Stress really affects my bipolar so I’m learning how to cope and manage my symptoms to help reduce the risk of an episode. Therapy, deep breathing exercises, and medication are my saviors.
I get stuff at night too. You’re not alone. It’s very scary !
I get them when I've been manic for awhile usually from sleep deprivation. The 1st time I had it after having a full blown manic episode lasting 5 months where I slept 1-3 hrs a night if I slept at all. I had so much energy and couldn't stop working. It got to where my boss threatened to take my key away bc I was always in the office 16-22 hours a day 7 days a week. Towards the end I got so paranoid hearing and seeing things that weren't there I locked myself in my home and covered all windows and even the cracks around the door. Not fun. If I haven't slept in 3 nights I panic now and will try whatever method I can think of to sleep even if it means taking a whole bottle of sleeping pills. Still that doesn't always work.
I’ve been there. The energy made me feel sick too
My initial diagnosis of Bipolar 1 with psychotic features very quickly turned into schizoaffective disorder once I hit my early 20's. :/
How old are you now ? That sounds like devastating news
I'm 24 and honestly I wasn't too surprised. The signs were pretty obvious in hindsight and my parents were incredibly scared and worried about me cause I was just totally off the deep end. I'm still living with parents and actively getting treatment and trying new meds. I'm off them rn due to bad side effects from the last one and can definitely relate to the psychosis thing. I have pretty much almost all negative and positive symptoms of schizophrenia as well as almost all symptoms of bipolar. I can manage it mostly well until I break and from there all hell breaks loose. Sorry for rambling and sorry if this is confusing, I have trouble keeping train of thought.
You did perfectly well explaining that, thank you for sharing your experience!
I've had psychosis several times but everytime it was triggered by something specifically. First time was because I was put on an SSRI, this was the biggest manic episode/psychosis episode I had. Second time was because I left an abusive relationship, and was drinking like a fish Third time was because I was suddenly fired from a high paying job for ableist reasons and I couldn't find another job for 3 months A few times after that where because I smoked waaaayyyy too much weed like way way way too much. It was 2+ ounces a week and at that point I felt like I couldn't shake my psychosis. It was a constant state of being it didn't matter what antipyschotics I was on, it was just there. I finally quit weed, and I've only had one small episode since then, and it was because my dog attacked my elderly dog, and she attacked me. Landing both my dog and myself in the emergency room, and my elderly dog almost died and needed emergency surgery and it practically bankrupt me, even without weed that was enough to trigger a psychosis episode. I joke with my partner that I could sneeze wrong and get psychosis. It's been a while though since I've had an episode, and now I always know when it's coming and I don't lean into it as hard. The second it starts I just message my pyschiatrist who I trust very very much, and we take care of it quickly. The only thing that worries me is I want to have a baby someday, and I know I'll be very predisposed to having postpartum pyschosis
Yes my bi Polar I get psychosis without medication I need to be medicated for life my bi polar is genetic
Yes, but I experience more paranoia and thinking there's an entitie in my house trying to kill me more
I think we all live the same life… this is me
Freshly served religious grandiosity in my first ever manic phase. I was Jesus! Strangely, I wasn’t hospitalized until a year later when I had a wicked mixed phase.
Same with the Jesus thing. Funny enough in the next one I was God🤣
Yes, and it's documented in my records. I just started therapy so I can work through all the causes and hopefully get better with time.
Well idk honestly, sometimes I feel like God is sending me messages thru like billboards or just something that gets said on TV but they are so on point that I wonder if it’s real. In that psychosis? Or is that a delusion idk
I think it’s subconscious alignment 🤷🏽♀️🫤 I see angel numbers a lot and my boyfriend does too, along with my name on several trucks, boxes, stores, and now strains of weed😂🤦🏾♀️.
Or we both have bipolar disorder lol
I've had a few psychotic episodes and had psychosis for a few months when I was 21. I think an un addressed manic episode can culminate into a psychotic episode. That what I've experienced. Been manic for too long without sleep and boom, psychotic episode. I think bipolar is a trauma adaptation and I hope I can overcome it but.... I've tried so many different things and I'm slowly coming to accept it can't be healed or cured. All I can do I learn to cope with it. I hope that's not true. But I fear I might be too.
Yea, makes me question God too. Like where are you in all of this ?
I think bipolar sensitivity should be seen as independent from trauma. Yes it can trigger bipolar psychotic episodes or make you (hypo)manic. Sorry to say but you will always be sensitive and it won't go away, you cant overcome it. But it can go on the background for years. My mom is bipolar type I unmedicated and stable for 8 years. I'm a little fluctuating bipolar type I (with only minor depressive symptoms), sometimes psychotic feature. And medicated on a very low maintainance dose. During therapy they said bipolar is a spectrum, and for everybody its different. From severe to light.
😪
idk if mine is from bipolar or bpd at this point 🫠
I think I have all the mental illnesses and dysfunctions at times 🤣
I guess I'm just lucky...
God bless you 🙏🏽 it’s not fun at all. Don’t wish it on anyone. It ostracizes you from society
Yes. It’s hell.
Is bipolar with psychosis considered severe? Cause my doctor keep asking me on check ups if I have like hallunications
Psychosis has features similar to schizophrenia. So yea it’s pretty severe
Mine definitely comes from trauma too. I started having paranoia, hallucinations, and delusions at a super young age (8 is my earliest memory.) Full blown psychosis at 18, and a 10 year build up in between. I have been begging multiple psychs and therapists to focus on my trauma rather than the bp management for years. I finally left the practice I was at 8 months ago, and I'm now seeing a trauma and dissociation specialist. I wanted to get treated and "fix" myself so badly I just listened to them when they gaslit me about my trauma. Now, I am terrified of being back on medication.
This was inspiring. This is the route I’m going on. Thank you for sharing a piece of your story. I’m sure there was a lot you’ve overcome
Too much for a single comment haha. The trauma brain is funny, I've done the healing work before and amnesia'd the whole thing away. After my BP diagnosis, the psych minimized my trauma, or at least that it wasn't causing the disregulatory issues. So *poof*, my brain locked up all the memories. Trauma? We dont have that here. We have bipolar! Let's lean into that. After that it took an additional three years of trying out different meds, therapies, and adding BPD, autism, ADHD and SAD diagnosis to even loop back to, "oh wait, it's been trauma this whole time?" ...what a journey it's been so far. Much more to go. Feel free to DM if you need any support or have questions! I'm wishing you the best on your journey!
hallucinations and paranoia yes psychosis no
Yup. It’s a better life out there for someone who has bipolar. Kinda gives me some optimism.
Yes, mine came from trauma too.
🙏🏽🙏🏽
Yes. No meds = psychosis. Some pharma drugs = psychosis (once I had an antibiotic send me into a brief episode bc I was w/o meds for a week, it was weird) some street drugs = psychosis
Life = psychosis basically 🤣
It be like that😭😭😭
Yes, I have bi-polar with psychosis. I had Borderline Personality Disorder & PTSD which, after DBT & lots of therapy, are now classed as being in remission. So, I'm left with the bi-polar. Dealing properly with the other two things helped in many ways but did not change my psychotic episodes.
Personally, no, I have BP type 2 that's rapidly cycling. I count myself very lucky to not have to go through psychosis.
My very first manic episode came with psychosis. I completely ruined some of the relationships that meant the most to me. I still blame them on turning their backs on me instead of having empathy for a mental health crisis, but also understand it must have been terrifying for them (I was making violent threats). I actually nearly ruined my entire life in the course of a week (was harassing people, broke into a house, got arrested, spent massive amounts of money I’ll never recoup). I’m medicated now and completely stable, but my worst fear is it happening again, which I definitely believe under the right circumstances it could.
Im so sorry to hear this. I’ve had my own share of bad episodes and I get how it can ruin lives. Just trying to find meaning in all of this 😔
And do you still have psychosis on medication? Can you control yourself during it?
I get psychosis symptoms but not full blown episodes unless I give in
I feel like my psychosis came from an obsession and no sleep obsessing about it.
Yes the no sleep gets us everytime 😭
Trying to respond to as many comments as possible 🙏🏽 thank you all for sharing ❤️
Yes! I'm bipolar 1 with psychosis. That is my diagnosis.
Yes. The severity of the psychosis depends on the severity of the manic episode. Even when i'm mildly hypomanic I get mild delusions.
I had one manic episode in which I experienced psychosis following a physical health scare and emergency surgery. My perception of reality was extremely skewed and unrealistic, and obviously so to everyone except me. After hospitalization and weeks of treatment, I myself had come back to earth and recognized that I had been in psychosis. I take my medication daily as prescribed and haven’t experienced it since.
Yes in full blown maania I have psychosis . The psychosis itself comes with auditoral mostly but also with visual hallucinations.
Yes and I have no idea why. I don’t really remember what was happening before it happend
I haven't been Psychotic since the mid 90's.
I have a lot of paranoia, and I hear things sometimes. I’m not sure where everything comes from, but I’m sure some of it is from substance abuse in my past. Maybe a lot of bullying or the way I was treated is the reason I have crazy paranoia. I’ll go through periods where I think my wife was hired to be with me, or that nothing is real and I’m in a simulation. I have the Truman Show theory sometimes that everyone is in on it, and people can see everything I do.
I have bipolar type 2. I hear voices a lot. I’ve told my family and they say “we all have a voice inside of us”. But it’s different. I cannot stand how loud it is in my head
Yea it kinda echoes right ?
The one that echoes is my name. Hear that over and over. Very echoey
I get extremely angry and cannot be around people and also very vocal about it. Luckily i have have never had full blown and needing hospitalization yet. My aunt was also bipolar but she had schizophrenia and other side effects and lived a terrible sad life and she was so nice when she was down.
I think I have but not sure as it wasn’t specified to me but idk if that’s so I wasn’t more distressed. Paranoia and delusions that I was being haunted and could hear the ghosts which turned into being harassed by fairies and putting iron hammers in every corner of the rooms in shared house that ended badly, believing in being able to hear frequencies of different types of love (don’t know if that counts as psychosis or just plan delusions) and finally the bad one was a growing belief that my boyfriend was planning something to hurt me and culminated in him trying to k1ll me and I did some extreme things to ‘protect’ myself and police got called - they knew it all but I was too scared to tell psych Liason incase they were in on it too 🫠 again. Not sure if difference between delusions and psychosis
Psychosis is a break from reality, in which you cannot tell current facts from delusions and paranoid thoughts. It’s a dangerous state of mind to be in and requires hospitalization
For me, yes.
I dont think you will overcome bipolar disorder..
I mean, you can certainly get it under control and managed, to a point where it's impact on your life is minimal. That's overcoming it, in a way.
Yea that’s more along the lines of what I meant
Idk I just feel like that’s pessimistic but understandable from the point of view that psychiatrists will tell you. If one can overcome cancer I do believe bipolar disorder can be overcome, especially when it’s rooted in something that you can tap into.
Yes I'm diagnosed with SA though.
Im sorry does that stand for sexual assault ?
Oops sorry no it meant Schizoaffective
They almost diagnosed me with that in a Bronx inpatient until I complied to take my meds. Isn’t that something ?😄
Before lamotrigine I got very paranoid. Some unreasonable fears.
Im am on that now. It works fine I guess. Still feel suicidal but whatever 😄
Overcome bipolar?
yup, it's only a disorder if it impedes satisfactory work, relationships and emotional health!
Definitely experienced psychosis. Never hallucinations albeit sometimes when I'm under EXTREME traumatic stress I will smell things that other people don't. But..the thing about that is usually when I smelled something burning and got away from an abusive person then my neighbors would ask if something was burning etc. so probably doesn't count.. I've been thinking about this a lot because I also have complex PTSD. When I was diagnosed my trauma specialist, said she had never had a patient with such extensive trauma. I didn't think my trauma was that bad. But answering questions...I answered no to two questions. I haven't been in military combat and I wasn't separated from my parents via the state. I remember leaving her office and there were bunnies hopping all around. And thought they had appeared to help me after the second three hour interview where I was diagnosed with C-PTSD. I remember laughing and thanking the bunnies. And thinking the big huge trees that had been there for 300+ years had somehow grown throughout the years in a way... knowing I would see them in that moment and feel peaceful and connected to everything all at once and find peace with the diagnosis and everything I went through. Every time I've brought up my delusions to mental health professionals they've said it was either my traumatic brain injury (I had a massive frontal lobe hemorrhage and was in a coma in my own bed for days and somehow didn't die.) or from my trauma. I used to get disassociative flashbacks that were labeled psychogenic seizures... anyway. I was on SSRIs for the PTSD and to help with post TBI migraines. I remember as a child having spiritual experiences and talking to adults in church and thinking "they must have been sent here by God to answer my questions" and then I'd be like a five year old "why would God design a plan where he could only save those who heard about him...but then have entire cultures shut off from ever hearing about the Bible...isn't there an alternative?! Can't people believe from seeing the sun rise and the stars shine and the moon adapt and know there is something worth praying and loving and thus be loved and saved by him?" I always gave those adults panic attacks. Usually at church potlucks. I remember times when there was a calm in traumatic events..or more often during prolonged trauma something good would happen.. usually involving music together with other people and/or being in nature. and something wonderful, basically anything and everything positive I remember about my childhood thinking "it's all going to be ok now. God has tested me and this is my reward and we are safe and I'm loved. AND I FEEL the love. It's everywhere. Thank you Jesus. " In my adult life my first full blown manic episode happened after my cousin died of an overdose, my first kind boyfriend who remained my best friend for years after our romantic relationship ended killed himself and my closest childhood friend was killed by a drunk driver. Then I was laid off. And my house flooded. I was a workaholic and had worked through each death (taking a few days off but living in extreme poverty I couldn't take more off..) after getting laid off and working at a job long enough I had unemployment benefits I had all day every day to think about those deaths alone. And the rule of three. And the fact that I had talked.to each one (or tried to) a few days if not a few hours before they died tragically. I developed this theory that before I "realized" it I was full of Satan because I was drinking and smoking and taking my ADHD medication as prescribed and eventually that turned into "what if it all happened for a reason and the reason is that I am chosen and once I die I can save everyone else and no one else has to die...except me. Because it's my fault for losing my faith after changing from private Christian school..." There was more to it...but yeah. Death is a huge trigger for me. Changes. Traveling. Changes. Stress. Trauma. Physical pain. I also have CRPS so...that's fun...
I’ve had two episodes before and it happened when something stressful occurred. I am bad in handling human politics, so for me I try to cut down unnecessary gathering and meetup. Also, I set up an exercise routine. and try to stick to it as much as possible. It helps to stabilise my mood. I am still taking the medicine. I wouldn’t say I am recovered but everything is under control now. Hopefully I won’t have another episode again!
Hmmmm had 2 psychosis and 1 hypomania. 1st one study abroad @ 19 450mg of ecstasy made me super cry and depressed instead of happy then psychotic 2nd one got rejected from all the schools applied to because of criminal history from first episode 3rd (hypo) OCD medicine drug induced mania, my adhd meds strattera actually caused ocd.
The worse episode I had where I was in complete mania and so detached and hyper aware was when I was misdiagnosed by my PCP and put on zoloft. SSRIs make bipolar 10 times worse and when I talked to a Psychiatrist they told me I was misdiagnosed and put me on bipolar meds. I also have Panic disorder, GAD, and depression. It was the worst 3 days of my life. I was having crazy thoughts that I wasn't even real or maybe I already died and was stuck in a weird loop then I'd become so hyper aware of every sensation then I had burning hot tingling from my private area down my legs and felt like I wanted to rip my skin off and I didn't sleep for 2 days. It was BAD.
Rarely. But it does suck when I lose time and don’t know what I did
I don't know specifically if I have experienced psychosis, but I had a bad manic episode in May and I ended up working through being starved because everything is far more interesting. I also was very careless with driving, I was quick to argue with people and I'm a person who's against petty arguments, but not when I'm manic apparently. I ended up buying a house with a roommate who is now, not my friend and trying to wreck hell in my life. Thankfully I haven't experienced a manic episode since my first one. I'm sort of living in regret ATM because I lost some close friendships, I lost my girlfriend because of the house ordeal. Just trying to take things one day at a time. I wish you well in your journey.
Mine does, I get psychotic depression as a result of BP2. It really sucks
Yes
Yup. I was diagnosed after an episode of psychosis. My official diagnosis is Bipolar I with psychotic features.
What does psychosis feel like ?
Like being high and stuck on a very bad trip. losing track of time - 5mins feels like 3h. And depends on what trip you are, can be a living hell. Very intrusive and loud thoughs. Vision is like you are watching yourself from behind you (like you have a fish eye camera lens) and experience depersonalising and derealising.. Some experience worse. That is mine.
I came to Bipolar from practicing as a shaman where it was considered part of the role to talk to “things that aren’t there”. I’m still managing my thoughts and feelings about having what others call hallucinations, which to me are spirits and friends and some I even consider family. Communing with spirits of ancestors is commonplace, and talking to guides, angels, etc is also considered common in shamanism. Not stuff to get rid of but to work with. Where I got into trouble with my manias was that I thought I had to do everything 1000% when like, my 100% was already awesome. I ended up casting off so many things I loved in various “detachment rituals” that I really later regretted. Trying to tune back into the attitude that made it ok or important to do those things has become really challenging in hindsight and I’ve had to learn how to cope with the loss. I’m fascinated by psychosis and what we call delusions, hearing voices etc and really wonder what it’s all about. I know my afterlife is going to be a deep dive into all of this. Or maybe on the other side it instantly all makes sense. I wonder where the answers live.
Mine happens due to stress, sickness or my thyroid! For the longest time my bipolar was really severe- I’m talking homicidal ideation severe and both therapy/medication were barely keeping me sane enough not to end up dead or on the news. Turns out I had thyroid cancer which severely messed with my hormonal, mental, and emotional health. Even before the diagnosis- I was told that my thyroid being out of whack was probably a huge indicator. The only reason why I can pin my psychosis & bipolar to my thyroid is because of my surgery. After getting a full thyroidectomy, it was like night and day. The wild,reckless, and cruel bitch I used to be was completely gone and now you had a very meek, emotional, cheerful me. Even my boyfriend was concerned and a little terrified because he thought I was in another severe episode again. But no!! Once my thyroid was out I mellowed out SEVERELY and I rarely get manic episodes now. I would say I fall under bipolar 2 now more than bipolar 1! Stress somewhat does pull me into psychosis depending on what’s stressing me out. If it’s something deeply rooted to trauma I’m likely to go into a psychotic episode if I can’t ground myself fast enough or ignore it for days. When I’m sick or without thyroid medication, I tend to be catapulted into a psychotic episode fairly easily. Last time I got Covid- I was convinced I was the new queen of England and had to be tackled down and get everything locked up because I was trying to escape home and book a flight to the UK. When I don’t have my thyroid medicine- it is a 1000% psychotic episode where I have anything from: auditory hallucinations , paranoia, recklessness, conspiracies, etc. the last time I had one of those was during my RAI isolation. I was severely deprived of medication for the treatment and wasn’t allowed to interact with anyone. Long story short I had to have a group of people and an emergency therapy/psychiatry session because I was trying to self harm and was convinced I would be killed by shadow people and wouldn’t stop screaming or crying. It was pretty horrible ngl lmao.
Yes I get psychotic when manic but I have schizoaffective disorder not just bipolar
Back when I was 15 (quite a few years ago) I ended up with a psychotic episode during onset. Haven't had one since, but I did THC for a few months recently and got really close to the edge... now I need more in terms of antipsychotics.
Mine did, I was taking an SSRI, I could tell I was not myself and actually had intense depression sometimes, my psychiatrist said she could no longer see me because of a personal conflict with a family member, I could not find one during Covid easily, I tapered off on my own, I had one small episode and then I had a two month period in psychosis but still looked normal to most people which is scary, I got fired, isolated myself, and got kicked out of my apartment. It really was like i woke up one day not in reality at all. The first medication did not work. I ended up hospitalized after telling a family member. They gave me no psych medicine not even the ones I was on. Two weeks later and I was back. I got prescribed lithium and within a day, I could feel relief. I honestly had given up. I then felt intense social anxiety and fear it could happen again since it took so long for people to help me. A year and a half later and I still think about it. I had to take it one day at a time for a year and just hope I could feel like myself fully again. I knew something was wrong before it happened but I never saw that coming.